


Patchwork

by KioriBug



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Death, Depression, Explicit Language, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Suicide, No Smut, Romance, Self-Acceptance, Slow Burn, Tragedy, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-07 21:44:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 50
Words: 275,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5471750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KioriBug/pseuds/KioriBug
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You never thought you needed anyone before.  You keep people at a distance since the terrible accident as a child left you scarred and came to distrust other's intentions and saw only the worst in them.  You built yourself up over the years, found a goal to strive for, an illustrator for children's books but you are afraid people will only look to your outer shell and not see everything you've worked so hard to accomplish.</p><p>Someone finally answered your ad for your need of roommates and you find yourself struggling to hide your secret.  You try your best to keep up the appearance that everything is normal but your insecurities keep up the walls you've built to keep others out. </p><p>Can your roommates help you live life in the present instead of being stuck in the past? Could they look past your scars and see who you really are? Could you let yourself get close to or even depend on someone else? Maybe even find love?</p><p>Side note: You are not Frisk, Frisk is Mute. You/The Reader are defined female with scars and have a past.  You are not a blank slate and some aspects of the Reader will not apply to everyone actually reading.</p><p>*Summary updated March, 19th, 2018.*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Torn Asunder

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I've written fanfiction in a long time. As the story moves along, I'll probably adjust tags. Enjoy the ride and I hope you can will stick around.

You sputtered and coughed as you rolled out of bed. An alarm was sounding from the hallway, jarring you from your sleep. You hit the floor hard, the nightlight that usually lit your room was...off? Still unaware what was going on, you tried to open your eyes. They stung. Tears quickly filled them as you vigorously rubbed them with your sleeve.

“Mommy?” You cried out, you inhaled deeply and choked.

Smoke? Your eyes snapped open again, they adjusting slowly to the darkness. You scanned your room with blurry eyes, slowly feeling your panic rise.

“M-mom?” You called out again. You were answered with silence. Why wasn't she answering you?

Your eyes were drawn to your bedroom door. A faint glow illuminated the cracks. You backed away slowly when you heard the faint sound of whistling and hissing. Finally noticed the floor under you was warm to your touch, you lurched back and covered your ears to block out the alarm and roar that grew ever louder. You choked again. You were trapped, alone, and scared. You crawled under your bed, what else could you do?  Everything around you was starting to make sense.

As you curled into a ball as a loud bang could be heard causing the bed above you shifted. The door to your bedroom now laid leaning against the bed. Even curled into a ball, you could finally see them, the source of the glow. The flames spread quickly, you let out a terrified scream as the temperature began to rise around you. The flames spread quickly, and soon the dark room was ablaze.  The warmth caressed your skin as you realized the flames had spread to your bed. How? How could it spread so quickly?

You screamed again as cinders began to fall around you and the flames hissed and roared from every direction. There's nowhere to run. You shut your eyes tightly, gasping for air. Your breaths are short and quick, your vision is blurring through the tears as your head begins to spin. Another loud crack, you can now start to hear distant sirens and horns.

“H-elp! S-someone help m-me!” You cried out hoarsely. The smoke catching in your lungs as you coughed and sputtered again.

_But nobody came..._

Your throat hurt, your head was spinning, and you shook terribly. You wanted this to be a nightmare, it had to be a nightmare. Where was your family? Your mom? Dad? Your small kitten? No one was there. The only sounds you could hear were the roaring flames. At some point the alarm in your house had ceased, you don't know how long or when that was. Your room creaked and popped. Another violent rumble and the sound of breaking glass could be heard from a room from across the house. You hardly noticed the cinder from your mattress above you drop onto your back before it was too late.

You screamed.

The smell of burning hair quickly caught your attention first. You opened your eyes to the horror. Your nightshirt, you, was burning. Your hair was burning. The intense pain began to engulf your back and neck. You instinctively reached over your shoulder with your left hand, trying to stop the flames. It was no use. This time, your other sleeve caught fire. You flung your arm violently. You didn't even see another cinder fall from above you. All you saw was the bright orange glow directly in front of your right eye.

You let out a scream like no other, was it even human? Your back, your neck, the right side of your face; you couldn't describe the pain. You cried, thrashed about on the floor and cupped your right eye. Your knees banged the metal springs above you, their creaking sound lost to you. All you could focus on was the intense pain.  Cinders continued to fall on and around you. The pain, there was no end. That's all you could remember before the floor below you gave way and you fell. You could no longer stand the pain, and you felt your consciousness slowly ebb to what you could only imagine as death. 

* * *

 

You gasped and sat up quickly in your bed. Your left hand tightly gripped the sheets. You couldn't stop shaking as you slowly drew your legs close to your chest. The covers shifted below as you gasped for air. Taking in a sharp breath as the cool air pricked the skin where a cold sweat lingered still. Shivering slightly, your mind began to calm. The racing thoughts dissipated as you felt the goosebumps form on your back and legs.

_Another nightmare..._

Your vision began to focus. What time was it? You let out a slow, deep sigh as you tilted your head to the left. To your left was a nightstand with a large digital clock, a water bottle, and many other small orange bottles littered the table. You rubbed your blurry eyes as it took you a moment to register what it said.

_1:17am..._

You sighed once again, gritted your teeth, and grabbed for one of the small bottles. You brought it up close to your face as you forced yourself to read the small text in the dim light from the clock. A glimpse of the text caught your eye as you quickly pushed the covers back. You placed the bottle tightly between your knees and popped the lid off with practiced ease. You tilted the open bottle to the side and one pill dropped onto the blanket.

You cursed under your breath as you quickly picked it up and swallowed it.

_How could I be so stupid...I'm always forgetting important things._

You berated yourself in your mind for forgetting to drop by the pharmacy earlier. You couldn't wait until tomorrow. You threw the bottle in frustration and bit the inside of your cheek as you tossed the covers aside to roll out of bed. You balanced yourself on your wobbly legs and straighten your shirt. Your tank top damp from sweating in your sleep. You removed it quickly, clenching your teeth at the pain present at your right side.

You brushed the long bangs from your face and walked over towards the side of the room. You stopped and gingerly lifted your fingers to the object that hung in front of you. You sighed, dreading this process, and turned to find a new t-shirt and a bra to put on. A sports bra hung from the dresser and you quickly pulled that on.

You sighed. This was a normal routine. You looked to your right, the pain throbbing where your elbow would be, but it wasn't. Nothing was there. Your shoulder ended with an abnormal curve. The nightmare, it was another constant reminder that left you scarred. 

Your body was always a constant reminder. The fresh layer of gauze was pulled tightly over your shoulder and wrapped around your upper back and chest. Beneath the gauze was the light pink leathery skin you had learned to hide so well. The same skin stretched and entwined the back and right side of your neck and face as well as down your right side and back. You lightly rubbed your leathery cheek, your hand flinched at the coolness of your glass eye grazed the skin. Your right eye and the arm that hung in front of you would never let you forget.

Your scarred fingers gently guided you to position the hanging arm. You adjusted the straps and pulled it snugly against your skin. You bit into your cheek, the scars from the burns didn't hurt. It was the incessant tingling and ache where you right arm should have been. It was something you've dealt with most of your life and you had no reason to believe it would end. Some days were better than others. Today was just going to be harder.

You pulled on a long sleeved shirt, inserting your prosthetic first, and grabbed your sling. This prosthetic was just for looks.  It did not function. You grew up most of your life finding ways to get by with the use of your left arm. You just wanted to avoid the unwanted attention of strangers on the street.  People...always...stared...

You hung your sling over your shoulder and positioned your arm into it. Pulling on your coat was easier. You pulled it over your head, slipping your left arm into the sleeve and tugged it straight.  There was no reason to slip your right arm into the sleeve. You reached down your right side to the dresser and pulling your zipper halfway up to cover your chest. You sighed as you grabbed one of your shopping bags, pill bottles and slip from your doctor.

You hurried through your dark house and tripped over the chair you had sat at last night as you poured over work. You straighten the chair and glanced around the room. Your eyes adjusted to the dim light as the streetlights from outside dimly lit the room from the slips between your curtains. On the table was many medical anatomy books; your study tools. A few were left open and a few highlighters had rolled to rest in the middle of the pages.

Silence....that's what you liked, that's what you were used to. There was a time your home was a bit noisier, but that is no longer the case. You grabbed your keys and hat from the table and hurried out the front door. You adjusted your hat over your head, pulling at your long bangs to ensure you scars and eye were hidden.

The city street light showed brightly in your eye. You looked up and down the streets, for being this early, there was still people hustling and bustling to and fro. The city's nightlife was full of young adults and older teenagers. They laughed and hollered as they went from one street to the next, trying to find the next club to hit up.

A small gust of wind caught you off guard. You tugged your coat up and brushed the light dusting of snow off your railing as you descended the few steps. It was early December and snow was finally beginning to fall. You'd have to take more care soon. You would need to somehow deal with the snow and ice soon.

You turned right as soon as you descended the steps and felt yourself bump into someone.

“I-I'm sorry!” You paused as you turned to face whoever you bumped into. Your right being your blind side. “I didn't see you...” Your voice drifted off quietly as you lifted your gaze.

“Like, it's NO problem!” A tall blond gator chimed in, her arm linked with her shorter, more stocky feline companion. “We didn't see you there.”

“I saw her.” The two smiled and giggled at each other.

“Oh, Catty!” The gator wailed.

You gave the two monsters a small smile and brushed your bangs in front of your right eye.

“I'll try to be more careful, I didn't expect to see you two out this late.” You apologized quickly.

The two giggled once more in unison and turned to look back at you.

“We were like hitting up the clubs.” The gator, known as Bratty chimed in sing-song like.

“There is like, super HOT guys at the club over at Bailou Ave.” Catty chimed in, her eyes sparkling.

“Like, Catty, they were totally HOT!” The two were already lost in their own little world. The two of them moved in a few months ago after the city chose to expand the residential districts. Businesses hopped in and started construction close to the new homes as the influx of new residents due to the barrier at Mt. Ebott falling.

The city was filled with more monsters during the night than there were humans. At least on this side of the city.  Most of the population was okay with the new influx of residences, but there were still some who weren't as willing to accept that times were changing, thus the new district being built. It seemed like a new family was moving in every week. You had filled out an application to live with some roommates early when the city had first announced the expansion. Your university was close by and you needed an easier way to get back and forth between home and school.

You took this chance excused yourself from the two who were happily chatting with each other as they ascended their own steps into their home.

Just down the street was a 24-hour pharmacy and you could fill your script quickly. Outside the store across the street was a beat up old sports car. It's motor still running and you could see a tall figure sitting in the driver's seat. Probably waiting for someone inside the pharmacy.

You were met with the warm and bright light of the lights of the store. It took you a moment, but your eyes focused and slowly made your way to the back of the store near the pharmacy's script drop off.

A young man greeted you sleepily and took your script. He checked it over and handed you a small machine.

“We'll notify you with this when your script is filled. Feel free to look around, but please don't go too far from the store.” He said as he finished filling out a form at the counter before walking back into the office.

You nodded and turned around. The store was mostly empty, a few people were looking around and the lack of a seating area forced you to look around. You shoved the machine into your pocket and set off to look around.

Slowly walking up the aisles, you read labels and boxes. The sound of a distant cough reminded you that you should probably pick up some cold and flu medicine before you would need it.

The cold and flu aisle was vacant except for a short and stocky person in a blue hooded jacket and black shorts. Their hood was pulled over their head and they seemed lost in thought as they leaned over the children cold and flu medicine. You didn't pay them much attention at first as you stopped in front of the pharmacy's brand of medicine next to him. You unzipped your jacket slightly. You grabbed a box of day/night cold and flu tablets and slid them carefully into the pocket of your sling. Once your hand was free you grabbed a box of cough syrup to check it over. You read it quickly and turned to head past the figure who had now stood up, turned, and was looking at you.

It startled you at first, you stopped suddenly and pulled on your coat, shielding your arm. You instinctively turned your head down and to the right. You glanced back towards at him and realized he was watching you. This was the first time you took notice of him besides a passing glance. There had been many monsters that were moving into the city, but you've never met someone like them before. It jarred your thoughts for a moment before you remembered your manors.

“I...I'm sorry you startled me...” you apologized quickly.

He didn't seem to take notice as he was eyeing your arm.

_Please...please don't look...Oh god...he may think I'm stealing!_

You held your breath and you flinched at the sound of his voice.

“Sorry I _rattled your bones_ , but do you think you can lend me a hand?” He chose to look up at your face, confused at the sideways glance you were giving him.

You let out a soft sigh of relief and looked at what he was holding in his hands.

_What a strange expression to use..._

“Your child is sick?” You asked the obvious question.

He nodded and looked back towards the shelf.

“I'm not sure what I should get...this is the first time this has happened...” He said quietly. He looked like he was tired. Dark circles could be seen under his eyes.

“How old are they, and what do they have?” You asked quietly as you scanned the shelves.

He nervously laughed, “The kid's ten or so...I'm watching them for the evening with my brother. I'm not sure what they have...is there a difference?” He thumbed up at the sign that referenced cold and flu aisle.

You nodded slightly, “Depends on the symptoms...”

You waiting for his response and he sighed. He put the medicine back and the shelf and pulled the hood back from his head. Your eyes traced his skull, you didn't want to believe it at first, but now there was no denying what you couldn't place before. This was the first time you've seen a skeletal monster.

“Would be easier if I understood human medicine a bit better.” The side of his mouth twitched as he brought a hand to his mouth. “The kid's in the car, we've been traveling all evening. They've not felt like eating and been sleeping. Their face is a bit flushed.”

You thought about it for a moment, “Do they have a fever?”

He shrugged and glanced back over to you. “I can't exactly judge that accurately.” He wiggled his bony fingers over his mouth and let out a small chuckle. “I'm chilled to the _bone_.”

His comment took you aback a moment. It slowly started to make sense and you cracked a small smile. “Do you not have a thermometer?”

He shook his head and closed his eyes. “The kid and his mom are moving into an apartment in the city tomorrow. The moving company is bringing the furniture and such tomorrow. We don't have any supplies just yet.”

You nodded and looked down the aisle. Hanging from the end of the isle was a thermometer to measure a child's temperature.

“I'm not an expert, but I do know a little about medicine. I can check on them and give you a suggestion if you would like.” You offered and walked passed him to pluck the small box from his hook.

“I'd hate to be a pain, but I'd appreciate it.” He looked relieved. You could see the concern on his face.

You walked to the front of the store and purchased your medicine and the thermometer and placed them in the bag that hung over your shoulder. He followed you outside and motioned to the beat up sports car. You nervously followed him, remembering seeing another figure sitting in the front seat.

“Hey Pap, can you unlock the back door?” He called out. You heard a loud voice boom from the car, it startled you and you froze as the small skeleton opened the back.

“Hey, kid? You awake?” He paused for a minute and nodded.  How could the kid not be awake after that? “There's a nice lady that wants to check on you.” He turned and looked back at you, inviting you over. The other figure, who you couldn't make out started to speak again, “Chill Bro, she's just helping us out. Could you keep it down for a few minutes?”

You slowly took a step forward. You're not really in a position to give medical advice. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. What if there wasn't even a child? You stepped forward cautiously, relieved that there was, in fact, a human child who was sitting up. They were bundled in a thick coat and hat and had a blanket wrapped around them as they noticeably shivered. You set your bag down on the sidewalk and brought your gloved hand up to your mouth and bit down on the fabric of the glove. You pulled your hand free and dropped the glove to hang on the top of your coat.

“Sweetie, could y-you tell me how you're feeling?” You asked quietly.

The brunette child looked from your hand and then to your face. They paused and studied you for a moment. They raised their hands weakly from the blanket and began to sign something you couldn't make out. You turned back to the skeleton who was watching over your shoulder.

“Hey Kid, that's not something you should be asking a stranger.” The skeleton paused a moment, watching their hands once again. “They said they don't feel well. They're cold.”

You nod slowly and turned back to the little one. At this angle, you couldn't hide your scars well, but you hope that it was shadowed enough where they wouldn't scare the child.

“Do you hurt, and may I feel your forehead?” You asked as you raised your hand slowly.  It seemed they could at least understand you.  Maybe they just couldn't speak.

They sat still for a moment and then nodded their head. As there was no other movement from the child as they watched you. You assumed that this meant yes to both of your questions.

“Alright, sweetie...” You gently pressed your hand to their forehead. It was clammy and felt warm to the touch. You pulled your hand back and reached into the bag at your feet. You removed the packaged thermometer and held it over your shoulder. You looked back at the small skeleton.

“Please open this and insert the batteries. There should be a cover for the ear tip as well.” You explained as he took the package from you and did as you had asked quickly. He handed the machine back to you and you turned it on. You heard it beep and you held it steady.

“This won't hurt, it is just going to read your temperature from your ear.” You said quietly. They pulled away, not sure and signed something once again. From over your shoulder you could hear the skeleton chuckle.

“They don't believe you. They said it reminds them of a shot.”

You chuckled and smiled.

“Do you want to take mine and see?” You asked as you turned it around for them to see. “This blue button here is what you press to have it read my temperature and...” You paused as you flipped the machine to its side. “this is where it will tell you my temperature.” You smiled as you positioned it in your ear. “When you're ready hit the button.”

The child reached forward as you tilted the left side of your head closer to them. Their hand grabbed the handle and pressed down. A high pitch beep signaled that it read properly. You removed it from your ear and glanced down at the temperature and turned it towards the child.

“See? That didn't hurt, and it tells you my temperature.” They took a moment and read the numbers on the side. “Do you want to see yours now?” You smiled as they nodded.

You pointed the nozzle down into your bag and shot the cover off the end. “Could you put a new cover on this for me please?” You felt the skeleton take it from you and quickly return it to a fresh cover on it. “Thank you...” You said as you pressed it into the kid's ear and pressed the button.

It beeped once more and you glanced down at it. “You have a slight fever.” You stood up and shot the nozzle down into your bag one last time and handed the small skeleton the thermometer. You turned back and smiled sweetly at the child. “I'm going to talk with your dad about some medicine to make you feel better.”

“Oh...heh...the kid's not mine.” The skeleton laughed.

Your face blushed, “I-I'm sorry! I j-just thought-” You stammered as you grabbed the glove from your coat and tossed it into your bag.  He did after all just mention he was just watching the child for their mom.

_There you go...embarrassing yourself again...of course, he's not their dad...he's a monster!_

The skeleton laughed again. “Don't worry about it, thanks for checking on 'em.” He shot you a smile and your eyes darted away as you moved away from the car, your bag now in hand. Your face flushed from embarrassment. He checked on the child once more and closed the door.

“Be out in another minute Pap.” You heard him say softly to the driver's side door as he followed to catch up to you.

You took this as a notion to go back to the children cold and flu aisle. The chime rang once again as the two of you entered. To not waste any time, you made straight away to the section and began to quickly read the labels. You picked up a box of tablets, cherry flavored, and handed the medicine to the skeleton next to you. You didn't hesitate and turned back once he held the box in his hand and picked up a cherry flavored syrup. You turned back to him which he looked from the box in his hand to yours.

“Either of these two should be fine. Make sure they drink plenty of water and make sure they eat something.” You paused as he glanced up at you, taking the second box from you. He wasn't much shorter than you, but to be fair, you weren't very tall, to begin with.

“I guess I'll take both them, the kid has to take to something.” He shot you another smile, “Hey, thanks. This stuff is still new to me. I've not been above ground too long to figure these things out yet.”

It's been less than a year since the barrier disappeared. It wasn't a surprise that monsters didn't fully understand your medicines yet. You gave him a small nod after a few moments and opened your mouth to say something when your jacket began to vibrate.

“I guess that's my sign to _buzz_ off.” He gave you a smirk.

You stammered and blushed again reaching into your jacket to grab the small machine. You nodded quickly and turned and walked away quickly.

“Hey....” He called out, but you were too quick and were already around the corner. He rubbed the back of his skull and turned to head towards the front counter to pay for the medicine.

You quickly hurried to the counter in the back where the man who took your script holding the counterpart to the buzzer in your hand. He smiled and took it from you and stepped over to the register. You thanked him, paid for your medicine and quickly turned around, realizing just how rude you must have seemed to step away from the monster.

_Oh no..._

The thought crossed your mind as you walked back through the aisle and saw that it was empty. Stepping outside into the cool morning's air looking for the sports car that was across the street, but found it was gone. You weren't very good a holding a conversation with a stranger. His joke had caught you off guard. It was rather silly but clever. You let out a sigh as you pull the zipper up on your jacket and walk towards home.

It didn't take you long as you unlatched and swung open your door, the warm dark air greeted you as you flipped on the light to the room and placed your bag on the chair near the table. You tore open the small paper bag the man at the pharmacy given you. The small pill bottle rolled across the table before you grabbed it, popping the lid off. You removed another pill from the bottle and swallowed it.

You heaved a heavy sigh as you pulled the coat over your head and tossed onto the back of the chair. Looking down at your arm, you decided that it would be best to just stay awake for the remainder of the morning. Maybe you could just take a nap later this afternoon. You looked towards your open books again and spied you cell phone. The notification light blinking steadily. You flipped it open as you brought it close to see you had a message from earlier this evening.

_**Are the two rooms still available?**_

The message, a response to an ad you had placed on an online community board a few months back. You had almost forgotten. Noticing the time, you figured you would respond after normal waking hours. You took a seat in front of your books and opened one of the highlighters. Studying the content didn't seem like a bad idea.


	2. Personal Boundaries

_I regret...everything…_

You groaned as you sluggishly sat at the booth of your Universities' cafe. You were exhausted. The scent of coffee and food made your stomach roll, but you had no one to blame but yourself. The cafe was bursting with energy for a Friday afternoon. It wasn't as populated during December compared to April or May, but it still left you uncomfortable. It was the hangout spot for every social clique you could imagine. Your eyes lazily lifted from your art pad as you glanced up at the people around today. Nothing really caught your attention. It was all very boring.

The day was very uneventful and slow. The hot, caffeinated coffee really hit the spot, dispute making your stomach flip. You needed this to wake you up. You smiled, letting the comforting heat warm you up as you leaned back into your seat. You were luckily able to obtain a booth for your meeting with a new possible roommate. It had been a long time since the empty rooms down the hall were occupied. Thinking about it left a heavy feeling in your chest. Your finances were struggling, and being forced to pay rent that was meant for three was draining you fast. Your savings was gone, and all you had left was a small cash reserve hidden in your closet and your student grants.

You looked back up towards the back of the cafe. The bell on the door chimed with every patron entering and leaving. This was the perfect spot to see anyone who was to enter. If anyone would purchase anything from the establishment, they would need to pass you first. You wanted to see if you could spot the potential tenant. If they were a creep you wanted nothing to do with them and could leave without worrying. You glanced down at the phone on the table once again to read the last received message.

**_1pm at the cafe, see ya there._ **

You had already instructed and gave them directions through texts to the interested party to meet you here. They had eagerly responded to your messages once you replied to the ad. You had a few copies of the rental tenant information forms for them to fill out. Once you approved of the new roommates and they filled out the paperwork you would need to hand into your landlord to update the rental agreement. They had given you permission due to your last roommates bailing, leaving you in a terrible spot. Your phone chimed once. The tone for your alarm alerted you of the time of the meeting.

_They're late. I'll give them a ten more minutes before I head home._

You let out an agitated sigh as there were no signs of whoever you were waiting for. Humans and monsters chattered around you discussing their days idly. There were a few rowdy jocks to your right bouncing in and out of your view as well as the chess club towards the back playing a few games. A lot of people were studying for examines at the other booth. Nearly every seat was full except for the one across from you. The sound of classmates discussing upcoming projects and plans for the weekend was drowned out amongst the laughter and hollering of the young men beside you. You heard them suddenly lower their voices to a whisper and then snicker. You had no doubt they were probably laughing at you. You'd been inside the cafe for at least the last half hour with your coat zipped up and your hat pulled down to hide your face. You were warm and your face was probably flushed, but you were hoping that this meeting would have already started. Being around this many people made you uncomfortable, especially those you knew were looking at you.

_I'll just text them again...to see where they're at...maybe they got lost?_

You reached for your phone but before you could touch it you felt the hat on your head being pulled away from your head. It startled you as you quickly turned your body to your right to see who it was. It was one of the students attending on a scholarship for some sport or another.

“Hey, cutie pie.” He teased as he got your attention. “Aren't you a little warm?”

He was a tall boy, probably younger than you from his mannerisms. His skin was fair and his carrot-colored hair clashed brightly against it. The expression on his face was repugnant. His nose was curled up and you felt the as if you were a doe looking on into the intimidating headlights of a car. This caused you to stammer and jumbled your words.

“M-hat...p-please.” You forced out.

“Aww, I just wanted to see your sweet face. You always have it stowed away or hiding it in those cruddy flip books.” He paused and flashed you a smug grin.

“It's n-t...” Your voice cracked as the color in your face slowly faded “lip- book...” You bit your cheek and firmly reached out your hand with the last of the courage you could muster. “M-my hat!”

He was beginning to get on your nerves. You tilted your head to the right as your confidence faded. You couldn't look at him for too much longer. You could make out the stifled laughs behind him as your glance shifted. A few of his friends sat behind him, giving you smug grins of their own.

“No way, I'm finally getting you to notice me.” He smiled and waved the hat in front of you. “If you want it you'll have to come and get it.”

You slowly stood up from your seat. Your legs shook as you felt the eyes of the many patrons turn to see what was going on. Your hand trembled as you reached for your hat. Your heart felt like it could stop as a hot hand gripped your wrist tightly. You held your breath as felt your balance shift. The twitch of his thumb brushed over the palm of your hand and the sounds around you slowly started to blend together. A bell, the soft murmurs, and the wind intertwined into something foreign. All you focused on was the hand that held yours.

“Please let go of me...I just want my hat.” Your voice quivered slightly. “I-I want to leave...”

“Hey!” He shouted as he twisted your arm, the awkward angle hurt and the sleeve of your coat and shirt pulled up your arm. “These are pretty nasty scars!” He blurted out, more astonished as he pulled your wrist closer to his face. They were very hard to miss. The scars twined around your wrist and thumb, they were most noticeable if your palm was facing up.

“Let go!” You tugged your arm back quickly, losing your balance. You fell back and hit the booth, jostling your prosthetic slightly. The table collides hard against the wall. You yelp and grabbed your right shoulder. The prosthetic rubbed the bandaged skin wrong, sending a surge of pain through you. You inhaled a sharp breath and visibly leaned forward. The sound of your coffee spilling to the floor echoed a with a heavy sound. The room was silent.

“Hey! No need to be like that.” He reached his hand towards you once again.

You shut your eyes tightly, steadying your breathing from the pain that shot through you. You turned your face away as you slid into the seat below you. The strength in your legs had left.

“Look, they lady ain't interested.” The sound of a familiar low tone voice finally broke the background silence. Your mind, swimming, grabbed hold of the familiarity and some of your strength returned for you to open your eyes. You slowly opened your eyes to see a familiar blue hooded monster between you and the man. You gave the back of his head a confused look. He had the other guy's outstretched wrist in his hand pulled high above his skull. Their faces were inches away from each other.

“The lady would like her hat back. I suggest you give it to her.” His voice sounded low and threatening.

“Hey man, I was just-” He stopped as his wrist twitched. The skeleton had apparently gripped it tighter. “Okay OKAY!” He said as he tossed the hat into the skeleton's other hand and yanked his arm away. He grabbed onto his own wrist and took a few steps back towards his group of friend. Muttering something you couldn’t quite make out under his breath he turned to them. “Let's go!” He called to his friends as they got up quickly to leave. Something about the skeleton you couldn't see must have scared them off.

Everyone's attention was still focused towards you. The short skeleton wearing the familiar jacket waited until the guy and his friend had left the cafe before he turned his attention towards you, wearing a soft smile.

“Thank you...” You couldn't bring yourself to speak above a whisper. Tears beaded your eyes as you could finally feel the freedom to breathe again. You took your hat back from the skeleton as he offered it to you.

“Small world huh?” He chuckled and reached his bony hands into his jacket pockets appearing to look for something. “You okay?”

You stared at him for a minute and tried to adjust your hat. Your hand was still shaking. You didn't care if you missed the person you were meeting anymore. You just wanted to go home. You looked away, not able to find words to answer.

“Hey, I can walk you out. It's a bit stuffy in here.” He offered as he took note of your behavior. “Can make sure they're not waiting for ya.”

You finally gave him a nod. You really didn't want to see them again, and you felt you would be safer with him. You tossed the papers and art pad into your bag and left the table. You reached for your bag but the skeleton had already picked it up from the table.

“I'll get that.” He offered quickly. “I can carry it to where you need to go.” He held it carefully, making sure not to spill its contents. “It's heavier than it looks.” He laughed. You gave a small nod. With shaky legs you moved to the door, your breath catching as you fought off your nerves.

Once outside the throbbing sensation dulled and you could feel the color slowly return to your face. The cold always felt nice, it was comforting. You took in another deep breath and your walk steadily improved from a shaky stumble to a brisk pace. You kept ahead of the skeleton who was trying to keep up with your new pace. You wanted to leave, but now you had another problem. The skeleton who you left so abruptly last night without so much as a take care was following you. Why was he even here? Why now?

“Whoa hey kiddo! Where's the fire?” He called out.

You suddenly stopped and held your breath for a moment. Your muscles twitched and he stopped quickly behind you. The sudden stop made him swerve to avoid knocking into you.

“Wha?” He stammered as he regained his balance.

_Calm down...it's just an expression..there is no fire...no smoke...you're outside..._

You reassured yourself before forcing yourself to take a deep breath. Taking a mental note of the city air. There was a bench close to where you had stopped. Sitting down to collect your thoughts in the winter air should relax you a bit more.

The skeleton sighed as he continued to follow you and placed the bag down next to you on the bench. He reached into his pocket once more and pulled out a small cell phone.

“Hey, give me a second, I need to make a call.” He showed you the phone in his hand.

All you could muster was another nod.

_He must think there's something wrong with you... I mean, that's obvious. I just need to apologize. Collect your thoughts and properly speak to them!_

He took that moment to dial a number and turn away. Your small sigh of relief as you tried to collect yourself was cut short by your phone's chime as it began to ring. You dug for the phone in your bag and tightly grasped it in your hand. The bag fell to the sidewalk and snow below you as you finally were able to flip it open to answer.

“H-hello!” You said sharply into the phone. There were a moment's pause and the skeleton in front of you slowly turned to face you.

“Hello?” He said slowly.

It didn't take long for it to click. The skeleton in front of you, the person you had been texting back and forth information on the rental rooms all morning was the same being standing in front of you. You closed your phone slowly, your startled stare not leaving the skeleton.

_So it wasn't a coincidence he was at the cafe._

“So...so you're...” You trailed off. Your face beginning to flush against the cold. You've made such a fool of yourself already. Who knows how much he saw of that incident.

The skeleton let out a hearty laugh as he hung up his phone. After collecting himself he offered his right hand.

“Hey, seems like my lucky day. I was afraid I was going to miss you since I'm extremely late.” He let out another soft laugh, “The name's Sans. It's nice to meet you.”

You stared at his hand for a moment and he withdrew it and casually put it into his jacket's pocket.

“Yeah, sorry. You don't seem keen on handshakes right now.” He approached the bench and took a seat next to you where the bag once laid. He reached down and set it upright, dusting off any snow that may have fallen in. He closed his eyes before opening them slightly to give you a sideways glance. “You doing alright? Seems like you got yourself hurt back there.”

You took another deep breath, you couldn't remain silent forever.

“Y-yes! I-I'm fine now...thank you.” You managed to stammer out.

_Good...now keep it up._

“My name is _____.” You paused, remembering last night. “I-I'm sorry about last night! While you're here...m-may I ask how the child is doing?” Now you were speaking too fast. Your face fell into the palm of your hand, face still flushed. Why did you choose that moment to run through so many thoughts?

His smile couldn't get wider, or at least that's what you thought as you raised your gaze to him once again.

“Don't worry about it. Did I take up a lot of your time, and Frisk? We were able to get them to swallow a bite of food before giving them that syrup stuff. They weren't very happy, but their fever doesn't seem as high this morning.” He was genuinely happy, his eyes held a sparkle that wasn't there a moment ago. It didn't seem like you rushing off bothered him too much either, he didn't even mention it.

“I'm glad.” You said softly. You paused before you finally caught yourself, “I'm sorry! We're supposed to talk about the rooms...I mean if you have questions...about the rooms...I can answer.” You finally could manage to slow your breathing.

Sans sat there, thinking to himself. He seemed to be studying you.

“I...I have some papers you can read...and oh...” The thought finally occurred to you. Since you left the cafe, you didn't have a table to fill out the paperwork. You really didn't want to go back there right now either.

“Hey relax. You're going to make yourself dizzy continuing at your pace.” He chuckled lightly, “I can't imagine you'd be able to handle being around others right now.” His words shot through you like a knife. You knew this, you didn't need to be reminded. Having him notice made you feel even worse. Your heavy sigh and downcast expression confirmed this fact.

“I'm sorry.” You softly said. You finally had a response to the ad and you couldn't keep your cool long enough to hold a decent conversation. There's no possible way they'd wish to move in now.

“No reason to apologize.” He shrugged. “Everyone has their reasons.” The flow of the conversation wasn't something you were expecting. You tried to think how to respond when he spoke up once again,

“If you wouldn't mind, can I see the place? The pictures that were posted online were a bit blurry on my phone.”

You weren't completely sure you were comfortable with this, but it was a reasonable request. It is logical to want to see it before moving in. “Y-yeah. That's fine. I didn't think you'd still be interested.”

“You seem alright, and I need to find a place for my brother and me.” He stretched and leaned back into the bench a bit more. “The friend's we're staying with doesn't have the room for us.”

You nodded and checked the time on your phone. “I'd have to check when the next bus will come, but if you're sure then okay.” You normally didn't stick around the campus this long. You would have been long gone and home by now. Today everything seemed to be against you.

“Don't worry about it. We can take my car.” He had already stepped forward and swung your bag over his shoulder. “You don't need to be carrying this.” He then extended his hand to you. “Need a hand?”

You thought for a moment, unsure if he was using the expression or trying to make another joke. You wanted to grab his hand, but you couldn't bring yourself to grab it. You curled your arm up and grabbed the neck of your coat and slowly stood up.

“Thank you...” Your voice trailed off as you looked away and stood up on your own.

“Right.” He withdrew his hand again and shoved it into his pocket.

You followed him to same beat up sports car that was outside of the pharmacy last night. It had a cracked spoiler on the back and you could see rust was forming around the bottom of the body. Sans jumped into the driver's seat and shoved the key into the ignition. The engine loudly roared to life. You didn't want to waste too much time and joined him riding on the passenger's side.

The drive home was relatively quick. On your way, Sans asked you a few questions regarding the area and you explained how it's recently expanded. There was a lot of new businesses popping up as well as more residential homes and apartments. You mentioned the parks, convenience stores, doctor's office, library, and dentist off as you drove by. The clubs were a bit harder to point out during the day, and you explained that at night you could find the signs a bit easier.

He still refused to let you carry your bag as you reached for your keys in your coat. You unlocked the door and opened it. He stood back on the sidewalk and looked over the outside then back and up down the street.

“It's actually not far from where I'm staying now.” This thought amused him as he shuffled his feet to follow you inside.

Once inside you flipped the living room light on. Waiting to hear the door close behind you before turning around to face Sans. “I guess I can start here.” You said quietly as you kicked off your shoes. “I don't care if you walk with your shoes on the carpet, as long as you don't track mud in.” Sans listened as he set your bag down by the door next to a small table.

“The living room and dining room share a space with the kitchen.” You paused as he followed you into the open area and took a few steps and looked around. He checked around the kitchen, frowning a bit at the small size but shrugged as he stepped back to look at the table. Something had caught his attention. You looked to the table and realized didn't remove your books and papers from last night. “I-I'm sorry...I was working pretty late.”

Many drawings of animals, buildings, people, objects, and random sketches littered the table. There were a few storyboard panelings drawn with various shapes and characters. Small notes littered the pages. He picked up a sketch of a small dog chasing a ball and glanced back to you. “You like to draw? You're pretty good.” He paused before looking back towards the door. “Your bag had a lot of art books as well. Art student?”

You blushed and couldn't help the small smile that crept onto your face. “Y-yes. I'm working on a becoming an illustrator for children's books.” Everything up until that moment felt like it didn't matter. “I spend a lot of time studying and drawing different perspectives. Everything matters...” You could go on for hours with this, your expression softens for the first time that day.

He gave another nod and picked up a few more pages, holding each one with care as he checked the next. “For books huh? Writing one of your own as well?” He was holding a few of the story panel pages now.

You nodded once again, the smile hadn't vanished. It's been a while since someone said they liked your art. “I don't have a solid concept yet. I have a lot of ideas, but nothing has spoken to me.” It was so much easier to talk about this.

“You've finally relaxed.” Sans laughed. “I would have been a bit more _creative_ if I had realized this topic would get you this _animated_.” He shot you a smile of his own as he placed the drawings back down onto the table.

Your cheeks flushed brighter than before. You finally let a small chuckle escape.

“You're terrible...” You paused.

_Should I?_

A small grin and you chuckled once more. Sans kept his eyes on you as he slowly began to shrug. He opened his mouth to speak once again before you cut him off.

“I can't say no to a _complement_.” You couldn't stifle your laughter any longer, you were just as bad.

You couldn't resist, even if he didn't understand the use, you did.

He looked shocked for a moment but joined in with his own hearty laugh. It's been a long time since your home was full of any noise beyond the murmur of your radio or the tv. Everything was fine until felt the twinge of pain creep back up. You flinched once again. The happy mood shifting suddenly. You had almost forgotten the dull pain. Sans had noticed and his expression changed from a smile to that of concern.

“You sure you're okay? You hit the table pretty hard back there.” He slowly approached you.

You nodded as you bit your lower lip. The dull pain was slowly intensifying. It burned. “I-I just need to take something later for it.” You paused and took a deep breath, “I'll show you the bedrooms.”

You turned to walk down the hall and stopped in front of the two rooms. “This one on the right is the laundry room, and the one on the left is one of the free rooms.” You let go of your shoulder and opened the door slowly. You had to keep your mind off the pain for just a little bit longer. The door creaked, having not been open for a long while. “I don't use these rooms, I'll fix the door before you would move-” You caught yourself, “if you decide to move in.”

The room wasn't very big, none of the bedrooms were. You could maybe fit a full sized mattress, a dresser, and maybe a small desk if you were lucky. The floor space would probably be crowded if anything more was added. The saving grace was that the closet was pretty spacious in each room. A few clothes hung in there as well as a bookcase you used to store most of your art supplies.

“This room and the next share a bathroom.” In the back corner of the room was a small white door with a latch. You flipped it and opened the door in. “You'll find it has a shower, toilet, and sink in here.” Another jolt caused you clench your teeth. “I-if you continue through the other room is on the other side.” It took a moment for Sans to follow you in. “S-sorry. You can't open both doors at once.” He nodded as he closed the door behind him before you opened the door across from it. The second room was almost identical to the one before it except for it having two windows. You walked into the room and pulled one of the curtains to let the afternoon sun's light fill the room.

“All the rooms here are about the same size. They're not that big, but the bathrooms are nice.” You stepped back as he looked around.

“Small's not bad. We don't need a lot of space.” Sans gave you another nod and shoved his hands back into his pockets. “You mentioned earlier about papers to look over. Can I see them?”

A small smile returned to your lips. “Yeah, they're in my bag.” You turned to open the door back into the hall. You waited for Sans to follow you and you felt cool, bony fingers wrap around your wrist. You froze.

“Hey.” Sans voice spoke softly. You turned to stare at the hand that held your wrist. He didn't wait long before he spoke again, “Look, I know you seem pretty adamant of pushing the subject away, but if you're hurting you shouldn't hide that fact.” This caught you off guard. Sensing the uncomfortable air rising between you, Sans let go of your wrist. “I know we practically just met, but if we're going to be sharing a roof then I don't think it's too early to start asking for help.”

He wasn't wrong. You took a deep breath and met his gaze. It was a few moments before you finally were able to collect yourself. “I...I was in an accident an-” You started to say more but it caught in your throat. You took another deep breath and looked away. “It's something I will deal with the rest of my life.”

Sans didn't say much, but he nodded. “I understand. Sorry, it's not really my business, and you seem pretty uncomfortable talking about it.” He sighed and looked away for a short moment before turning back. “The least I can do is help you with your coat?”

You had forgotten that you were wearing it. You didn't need help, but your body ached, and you were so tired. He flashed you a small smile and carefully gripped the zipper of your coat. It was a bit awkward. You've not had anyone to help you with this, or anything since you figured ways to get by on your own. He jerked slightly, the zipper had gotten stuck. You could feel him knock against your prosthetic wrist and you flinched.

_Don't notice...please don't notice...._

“Sorry!” He apologized quickly, “I gave your cast a pretty hard knock.”

_He didn't notice...thank you!_

You sighed as the jacket slid from your shoulders and he held it in his arm. “You can throw it onto the couch. I'll put it away later.” Your hand gently massaged your shoulder, it surely didn't help as you flinched again. You opened the door to the hallway and led him out to the table. It didn't take you long to clear up the loose pages and retrieve the, rather crumpled, forms and papers for Sans as he laid your coat onto the back of the couch.

You took a seat across from him and rolled a pen towards him. He took a few minutes and reviewed the landlord's policies. It was a pretty standard lease. Sans set the pages down and looked up to you.

“How would rent be handled?”

You took a moment, “I have the larger bathroom in the house to myself...if you are moving in with your brother we could...” You were cut off.

“A bathroom's a bit of a nonconcern for us. A shower is all we would need.” He paused before leaning back in the chair. “You listed the rent as $1,800?”

“That's the rent for the home. I've been paying for it myself since I put the ad up.” You stood up and walked over to the kitchen counter. There was a few receipts and bills separated into a few piles. You grabbed a small slip and walked back to hand it to Sans.

“This month has already been paid for, next month is due on the first.”

He took it from you, eyeing the details before handing it back. “So we're talking $1,200 from us and $600 from you.” You gave a slight nod. “Seems fair. Still cheaper than a few other places advertised.”

“Food and entertainment are your own responsibility.” You looked back towards your cabinets, maybe you'd be able to afford something other than pasta and various broths and sauces.

Sans nodded once more as his phone began to ring. “Hold on a sec, Pap is calling.” He paused for a moment, “He would be moving into the second room.” You nod as slid the paperwork he was filling out back to you and turned away to take his call.

You tried to give him his privacy as you reviewed the information, but it was hard to not catch bits and pieces of the conversation.

“Yeah, looks promising. I'll find out probably later.” He paused as he stood up and walked towards the other side of the living room. “How's Frisk feeling?”

You set the papers back down on the table in front of you as you watched the skeleton in front of you. He turned to glance at the table and gave you a soft smile as he turned his attention back to the phone. You stood up quietly and grabbed the sketch pad from your bag that was left by the door. You returned to your seat and flipped the small pad open to a blank page. You pulled your knees onto your seat and rested the pad like you always did against them. Quickly your fingers went to work once your pen hit the surface. The content expression on his face drew you in instantly. Your good eye darted quickly between Sans and your sketch, trying to memorize what you were seeing quickly as you detailed the inked skeleton. After you felt satisfied with the base, your concentration fell to the paper. You drew back your pen and used your ring finger, you pressed against the damp ink, smudging the blue down. Eluding a softer line that your pen couldn't achieve. The tip of your pen, slow and steady, delicately detailed thin lines over his brow. You paused for a moment and jumped at the bony fingers that tapped the back of your chair.

“I couldn't even make the joke about taking a picture.” He softly laughed as you blushed.

“I-I'm sorry!” You tried to close the pad but Sans was quick to catch it. He leaned over you and examined it closer.

“Don't worry about it. Do you normally sketch others while they're not paying attention?” He was obviously trying to tease you at this point.

You stammered. Honestly, you couldn't really deny his accusation. You have many old sketch pads stored away with many faces you've seen while out and about. The people themselves didn't interest you, but it was their expressions. Their face could tell a story no words could express. You smiled as you looked down at the rough sketch of Sans.

“Your eyes...” You spoke softly. “They lit up when you were speaking on the phone.” Your middle finger slowly smudged the partially dried ink where the cheekbone curved.

“Before that was a slight sadness to them.” You turned your head to the left to study his face once more. “Sorry...I just...”

He laughed once more and let go of the pad. He stood up straight and took a few steps towards the door, “My brother is needing the car.” He smiled once again, “If you need any more information let me know. You have my number.” He turned to walk out.

“W-wait!” You called after him. You jumped to your feet, causing the chair to bounce backward and fall against the wall. You tripped over the legs and hit the wall. It knocked the breath out of you, but you were fine.

He stood watching you for a moment. You tripping over yourself was slightly amusing, but he still returned to approach you. He was concerned, but when you showed no signs of being hurt he relaxed a bit. His arm extended towards you, offering to help you right yourself. You forced yourself to take his hand and gently pull yourself from the wall.

“Falling all over yourself to get to me? That's a new one.” Sans beamed at you as his grip on your hand lessened. He must have seen your pupil dilate as curiosity along with a playfulness lit his expression.

Your first instinct was to take your hand back and shield your right eye. “I-I...that's...that!” He cut you off.

“Whoa there. Just messing with you.” He paused as he took a few steps back, “Seeing me out?”

You mustered a nod as you followed him. The door slowly opened and Sans descended the steps. “Let me know!” He called back with a small wave.

“One minute!” You called, shuffling with something near the door.

_Where is it...this was the last place I saw it...AH!_

It took you a minute to find it, but it didn't take you long to toss it towards Sans. Your aim was slightly off but he was still able to catch it. He wobbled, regaining his balance and opened the palm of his hand to reveal a small silver key. He looked up with a confused expression that made you smile. “I'll hand the paperwork over to the landlord after the first.” In your head, this was a bit easier. Your gaze fell as your cheeks burned, “L-let me know w-hen you're able to m-move in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the wonderful comments so far. It's been a long time since I've written anything and I wasn't expecting such a nice response so quickly.
> 
> I couldn't wait to write more. This chapter alone probably sucked up at least sixteen hours. I wasn't happy with the tone, and went back and rewritten the cafe scene probably four times before I was finally happy. 
> 
> I want to thank you all again and I hope all you have a safe and happy holidays. I hope you'll continue to ride this out with me, and forgive me for the quality of the art puns.


	3. Inspiration

After Sans had driven off in his car you closed the door behind you quickly. You bit the inside of your cheek and tugged at the sling over your neck, forcing your prosthetic out of the sling and throwing the fabric to the floor. Without the sling, your arm violently swung to follow it's gravity, smacking the door behind you. The weight shifting made you shudder as the vibration of it swinging and hitting the door behind you caused your stomach to churn. You swallowed hard as you bit back another uncomfortable sensation in your nonexistent limb. Needles...it felt like hundreds of needles were jabbing into your elbow.

A frustrated whine escaped your lips as you struggled with your shirt. You violently grabbed your shirt's right sleeve and yanked it down, catching on the wrist. The fabric rubbed against the skin between your index finger and thumb on your left hand, burning slightly. Shakily, you loosened your grip, allowing the fabric to slip over the static thumb joint. The arm felt heavy as you slid down against the door. Your shirt riding up slightly against the smooth surface, bunching towards the middle of your back.

The neck of your shirt stretch and rubbing taunt against the skin, tinting the surface pink. You whined again, the fabric not wanting to give much way. You let go, letting the arm fall into your lap as you slammed your fist into the door behind you. You hated this...you wanted the pain to stop, to just leave you alone. You took sharp breaths and attempted once more to pull the sleeve to free the arm once more.

Slowly, you reached passed the arm and grabbed as much of the shirt's fabric as you could. You pulled the fabric up, it catching on your prosthetic elbow. You pulled the fabric taunt and pinned it between your shoulder and chin. Letting it go once you had a tight grip, you reached to your left and tugged the fabric up, rolling it over your elbow. Once it caught snugly you adjusted the lower half over your chest. You pulled your elbow up in a slow motion and grabbed the neck of the shirt to pull your head through. Your chin let up on the fabric to your right, but with it being pulled tight, it stayed put. With a heavy sigh you tucked the fabric under your chin and twisted your wrist to pull the fabric down your left shoulder. Twisting your arm slightly you pulled your arm out and the fabric loosed it's grip to free yourself finally.

You sat there silently for a moment before your cupping your eyes in your hand, crying softly. What were you going to do now? You were so very tired. The pain continued to stab sharply into you, you felt hot. Your stomach felt sick, after tonight, you were no longer going to be alone in this house. You've been alone for such a long time, worked so hard to get by on your own. How could you let someone see you like this? See you when it became to much to bear? The sobs grew louder as you shook violently and cried into your open palm.

**~ * ~**

Sans sat next to Frisk as he laid on the couch to watch TV. Their fever was gone and they eagerly ate a can of tomato soup that Papyrus had heated up on the stove before he left. The TV was small, and the reception from the antenna wasn't that great but it was background noise. Sans paid it little attention as he stared down at his phone.

_**Moving van will be here tomorrow, can start moving stuff in tomorrow afternoon-** _

His thumb hovered over the send button. The metal key ring hung over his joint and tapped lightly against the phone's case. He sighed and leaned further back into the chair. The rustling and movement of the child on the couch caught his attention and Sans gave them a lazy smile.

“Need something kiddo?” He lowered his phone to rest on his chest. He watched as Frisk waved their hands in fluid motions to form words.

**Is the truck coming tomorrow?**

Sans smiled and closed his eyes, “Yep, Tori and your things will be here tomorrow morning.” He opened them once more, hearing the shuffling of blankets. He waited for Frisk to stop before responding again.

**Do you really have to move away?**

“I won't be far. You know there's not much room here. Pap and I can't really stay in your living room.” Before Frisk could protest he added, “It's a short walk form here. You can bet we'll still see each other a lot.”

Frisk thought for a moment and started once again,

**They're not strange, are they?**

They must have meant the human Sans went to meet with today. He chuckled softly. How could he describe her?

“I'm not sure if you remember much, but the person who placed the ad was the girl who checked on you last night.” He tilted his phone up once again and debated on pressing send button once more.

The expression on Frisk's face faltered before slowly moving their hands again.

**She seemed nice.**

Sans took note of the expression, “Why such the long face?”

Frisk looked down at their hands for a moment before looking back up at Sans.

**I don't know how to explain it, but she's been hurt, bad.**

Sans gave Frisk a small nod.

“Yeah Kid, she's got something going on.” He paused and finally pressed the send button and flipped it shut. “Anyone that can throw bad puns around can't be too terrible, though.”

Frisk gave you a smile and a nod before turning back to the television, making them comfortable.

**~ * ~**

You sat on the floor near your nightstand. The shadow of your arm that hung on the stand cascaded over you. Absentmindedly you held an empty pill bottle in your hand. The pain still didn't go, but a numbness relaxed you. You didn't care anymore. You chuckled to yourself lightly as you struggled to pull yourself up to your bed, dropping the bottle where you sat. Your eyes felt heavy. The room spun around you as you collapsed onto your side. You slowly rolled over onto your back and stared up at the white ceiling above you.

You turned your head back to the opened prescription bottle on your nightstand. You had removed the contents earlier and put it into a case that was easier for you to open. Bottles that came with the child proof caps irritated you. Your left hand lazily grabbed it and you rolled it within your fingers. You brought it close to your face to read it once again. Your vision blurred as you flung it towards your open bedroom door. The bottle bounced off the wall in the empty hallway before it fell silent once more. Your eyes fell shut slowly. Maybe you could finally sleep.

**~ * ~**

You didn't sleep very well. You rubbed your eye as you held your phone in your hand. You didn't see your phone until you were rushing out the door that morning. It was a Saturday and you didn't have classes, but your doctor had made an exception for an early visit to see you. Earlier that week you had called him due to a discoloration and tenderness to your shoulder. It was probably due to your recent bouts of nightmares and sweating.

**8:34am**

You've already read your missed messages, Sans let you know that they could start moving in later that day. You responded with letting him know you may not be home but feel free to go ahead. You looked at your last message and sighed, maybe you were too harsh?

_**My room and bathroom are off limits.** _

It wasn't just your personal space, but it was your sanctuary. The stand for your prosthetic, the cleaning kit for your eye in the bathroom, and not to mention the many pill bottles on your dresser and nightstand were strewed about. You didn't want them to see any of it. It wasn't their business anyway. All they needed to know is that you were fine. You had to be fine. You hadn't met Sans' brother yet. You didn't get a good glimpse of him the night at the pharmacy, but Sans was pretty chill, there shouldn't be much issues. A small knock on the door brought you out of your thoughts as your doctor entered the room.

“Hello Miss _____. “ He smiled as he took the chart from the desk and read over it briefly before setting it down and approaching you. Let's see what's happening. It was so much nicer to have someone help you with your arm. He sighed as he saw the sling. “You know we can give your arm mobility right?” He began as you began to drown out his lecture.

“I'm sorry Dr. Harson.” You looked down at your feet and spoke softly. He sighed as he removed your arm from the sling and moved it.

“Do you feel any pain when it's moving around? Any rubbing?” You gave him a nod and he gently let it down to rest the palm on your leg. You grabbed the elbow and squeezed slightly. It didn't take him long to notice before he made his comment, “Still having those pains as well?” You nod again. It was a subconscious reaction you seemed to have. “I'll tend to that in a bit, I'm going to move your harness to see if there are any loose straps.” He warned you as he pointed towards your long sleeve sweater, “But first I need to ask you to remove this. We'll see if I need to have Vince make any adjustments.”

You obliged and he helps you by removing your prosthetic from the sleeve and letting you remove the rest. He placed his hand on your back and slowly moved the limb. It wasn't snug, the top shifted slightly, and he stopped to check what was a miss.

“I'm going to remove the arm for a moment, I'll need to check your skin. We'll give this, and your arm a good cleaning while you're here.” He had already started loosening the straps and supporting it's weight to slide it off. You sighed softly as you felt your weight shift. The straps had left red indents along your skin. “There we go.” He sat back in his chair and took a look at the shoulder. “I'm going to give this to the nurse to clean, and then to Vince to check the harness connections. There seems to be a loose screw.” He paused, “You've been taken good care of it, but may be from normal wear and tear.” He smiled once again as he picked up his phone to ring the nurse. He waved to the gown on the seat next to you and you pulled it over your chest in time for the door to slowly open to a small red headed woman. She gave you a smile as she recognized you. She retrieved the arm and left out into the hall once again.

“Now...” He said as he sat in his chair and wheeled towards you. “...let's take a look at your shoulder and see how everything is doing.”

The visit was short. The irritation was caused by what you thought, sweat. He instructed you to air it out at night and leave the gauze off. He supplied you with a new cream for your scars and another for the irritated skin to apply after you had let your shoulder air a bit. The two of you discussed your phantom elbow pain and he prescribed a new medicine to try.

“Only take this if nothing else helps. Take one pill and eat with food. If you have any complications, cease taking it immediately.” The warning list was pretty long and worried you, but he said to call if anything happens.

Vince, he technician had brought your arm back while you were discussing your medication. He discussed with you and Dr. Harson about refitting your harness due to the weakening back shoulder screws for the straps. It wouldn't be until sometime in January before they could fit you in and mentioned that it may be beneficial to go without your prosthetic until then. This wasn't an option for you. You'd just take care not to knock it and make it last until you could receive a replacement.

**~ * ~**

You sighed as you boarded the bus from the station that would take you the rest of the way home. Dr. Harson had given you a small plastic bag to hold the medicine and a new bandage on your shoulder. You pulled the phone out of your jacket to check the time. You were starving, but you weren't in the mood for noodles again. Maybe you and the brothers would order Chinese that evening. Glancing at the time, it was a little after two in the afternoon. You left Dr. Harson's office just before noon but the long city bus and subway rides exhausted you. You kept your arm shielded, taking care to not bump it much. You were determined to keep this until a new harness could be warn.

Your phone beeped as you stared absentmindedly at it. It was from Sans.

_**The trucks here so we can move our things in. Letting myself in.** _

You quickly tapped your thumb around the number pad in response.

_**I'll be home in the next hour. It will be nice to meet your brother. Chinese for dinner?** _

You held the phone in your hand awaiting for his response, he didn't keep you waiting.

You received a media message with an image attached. It was a piece of pepperoni pizza with a caption under it

_**You want a PIZZA this?** _

You couldn't help but groan, but your stomach growled. It honestly looked very good. You wanted to respond with something silly. You thought for a moment and smiled.

_**You FETA believe it! Looks delicious!** _

Your phone chimed once more before you put it away. You shook your head and slipped the phone into your pocket.

_**Your puns are cheesy. There's still mushroom for improvement.** _

**~ * ~**

The bus stop wasn't far from your home, and you could hear children laughing from the park on the next street over. You could see the truck and Sans sitting outside. The front door behind him wide open. He leaned back and grinned as a much taller skeleton approached him from behind.

“SANS! HELP ME MOVE THESE BOXES!” You could hear him from halfway down the street, clear as day. “WHAT WOULD THE HUMAN SAY TO SEE YOU LAZING ABOUT WHEN THERE'S WORK TO BE DONE?” Yep, there was no mistake, you could hear him. People from across the street had peered out their windows, seeing what the noise was about.

Your walk slowed to a crawl as you passed Catty's and Bratty's steps and stopped as a mattress levitated from the back of the truck and through the door.

“SANS! DON'T WASTE YOUR MAGIC LIKE THAT!”

A light blue aura surrounded his hand as he drifted the mattress inside. You've never seen a monster use magic before. It was fascinating. Sans opened his eye as if he sensed your approached, or maybe he heard the plastic bag rustle in the wind. The blue iris focused on you. The chill of the wind caught your breath. It was only there for a moment before he blinked and his eye returned to normal. You could hear the sound of the mattress hitting the floor and an annoyed cry come from inside.

“SANS!!!”

You looked towards the door as the massive skeleton appeared. He was about to scold Sans again until he noticed you at the bottom of the stairs and his annoyed expression faded into a giant smile.

“WELCOME HUMAN!” He was very energetic, his loud voice unnerved you slightly and you unconsciously took a step back.

“H-hel-lo...?” You stammered softly.

He tilted his head slightly, confused by your expression.

“Pap, you may want to tone it down a bit.” Sans slowly rose to his feet to stand next to, who you assumed at this point was their brother. Sans gave you a smile and shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. “Hey _____, we'll be out of the way shortly. We've almost had the truck unloaded.”

“WE? YOU'VE DONE NOTHING BUT-” Papyrus began before he paused a moment as he considered your presence. “You've done nothing but sit on these steps waiting for the human to return.” Something must have clicked as he looked up excitedly at you once again, “OH! ARE YOU THE HUMAN THAT IS SHARING THEIR HOME WITH US?”

The sudden volume change in his voice startled you and your face flushed slightly. “I-I'm....” You couldn't complete your sentence.

Sans tugged on his scarf slightly. Papyrus seemed to take the hint and returned his voice to a normal speaking volume.

“I'm sorry human, but fear not! For I, the Great Papyrus, is happy to make your acquaintance.” He reached out to shake your hand.

You guiltily looked at his right hand before glancing at Sans, who gave you a small nod. Gingerly, you took a step forward and held up your left hand. You looked at it and pulled your hand back. “S-sorry...I-I can't...” The skeleton gave you confused look once again.

“Use your other hand Pap.” He said as he descended the steps and removed his right hand from his jacket and slipped the small bag hanging from your left wrist. You made a silent protest but Sans didn't pay you any mind. You didn’t have long before Papyrus had switched arms and offered you his own left hand. You slowly took it, the glove was soft and warm, but slightly dusty from carrying boxes. His smile grew wider as he vigorously shook your arm. Caught off balance you stumbled forward and he caught you. “Careful now human!” He said as he held onto your hand to help right yourself.

Sans had walked over to the truck and grabbed a smaller box. You heard the back hatch close as he walked back up, “I'll order pizza once we get the boxes out of the dining room.” You smiled, remembering the messages from earlier. He gave you another smile as Papyrus helped you up the steps.

Once inside Sans closed the door behind you. You kicked off your shoes and tugged on your hat to sit on the table near the door. Before you could protest Papyrus was unzipping your coat. He caught you off guard and you retreated a step back.

“Human, it must be terribly hard to remove this with one arm. Allow I, the Great Papyrus, to assist you with this menial task!” He had quickly unzipped the coat and was pulling it over your shoulder, surprisingly careful not to bump your right side. “Where do you want this?”

“I-I normally throw it on the couch....” You looked to the living room, but figured you should probably keep the coat in your bedroom from now on since you are sharing the home once again. “I'll take it to my room.”

“It's the one across from Sans room at the end of the hallway correct? I can take it there for you.” Papyrus began to turn and walk away but was abruptly stopped by how fast you grabbed his scarf and tugged it.

“NO!” You said a bit more forceful then you intended to. You gasped and let go quickly and took a deep breath once he turned to look at you. He was surprised by your sudden outburst. “I-I mean...” You quickly stammered, the color in cheeks slowly fading. “My room is a mess...a-and it's embarrassing...”

“Worry not human! Your room cannot be any worse than the messes my brother Sans can leave!” He flashed you an innocent smile before he went to take another step. You held on his scarf, this time, not letting go. He turned to look at you again.

“N-no! You can't go in there..” You trailed off, your voice getting weaker, the color completely gone from your face. Before you could say anything else Sans had approached the two of you and took the coat from Papyrus.

“Pap, you have your bed to set up so we can move the boxes from the table.” Sans stood in front of you and handed you your coat, you couldn't see his expression as he looked up at his brother. It must not have been an upsetting one, as the look on Papyrus' face lit up.

“You're right!” He turned and ran off to the first room you had shown Sans yesterday.

It was quiet except for the sounds coming from Papyrus' room. You were afraid to look up. Sans slowly turned to look at you once again, you could feel his stare, but you couldn't meet his eyes as you held onto your coat, frozen in place.

“He means well, I didn't explain to him that your room and bathroom was off limits yet.” You could see his hand slide into his jacket again and turn slightly away from you. “I moved your projects to the living room table. I didn't want them getting lost or torn when Papyrus was bringing in the boxes.”

You told yourself to take a deep breath and looked up, how long were you holding your breath for anyway? You nodded and finally looked up, expecting a frown. You didn't understand when you saw Sans, though. There was no frown, but the same smile plastered on his face as all the times before. He gave you a shrug and walked back towards the table as he checked what was in the boxes.

“I-I'll help if that's okay.” You said barely above a whisper. You stopped once again and took another deep breath. “I mean...I'd like to help if I can.” Maybe your offer was too quiet for Sans to hear. You sighed softly and walked passed him to quietly slip into your room. You tossed the coat on your bed and leaned back against the door.

_I'm going to scare them away at this rate..._

You sighed again and took a few slow breaths to calm your thoughts. You could do this. You slowly turned around and opened the door. You could hear Papyrus in his bedroom still and Sans from the kitchen. You closed your door behind you as you walked back to the dining room and stood next to the table. Absentmindedly you grabbed at the collar of your shirt and looked towards the boxes.

“Is there...anything I can help with?”

_Speak up...louder!_

“I-I'm sorry if I'm pestering you!” You said a bit louder as he looked up from his box.

“Knock, knock.” He said as he leaned over the table and tapped the table.

You gave him a confused look and he rolled his other hand at you.

“W-ho's there?” You assumed he was wanting you to follow along with what ever joke he was planning.

“Canoe.” His smile grew wider as you followed along.

You gave him a puzzled look but continued with the joke. “Canoe who?”

He moved the box closer as his smile shifted to a sly one. “Canoe help me with this one?”

You chuckled softly and from Papyrus' room you could hear a loud groan, “SANS NO!” You couldn't help but laugh a bit louder.

Sans stood up and spoke once more, “Knock, knock.”

“Who's there?” You said after you took a deep breath.

“DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM” Papyrus yelled, his head now poking out into the hallway.

“Opportunity.” Sans continued.

You knew this one, you laughed and gave him a smile “Liar, opportunity doesn't knock twice.”

“OH! MY! GOD!” Papyrus whined as he slammed his door closed.

Sans held his ribs as he let out a deep laugh. He opened his eyes to look at you again and spoke, “You're more relaxed after you smile.” His comment made you blush lightly. “Let's get these boxes sorted, most are Papyrus' action figures, so once he has his bed together he'll be able to take them out of here. The box here has some dishes and pans. If you want to show me where to put them I'd appreciate it.” You gave him a nod and walked towards the kitchen to help unpack.

**~ * ~**

It took a few more hours but all the boxes in the living and dining room were put away. Sans had brought a giant bean bag chair and placed it in the living room. There wasn't going to be enough room in his room after he set up his dresser, bed, and a small desk. Sans had ordered pizza earlier and you had all finished eating already. You took a seat on your couch with your art pad pressed against your knees.

The two brothers were an odd pair. Their personalities were nothing like each other. Papyrus had told you about his and Sans time in Underground as sentries at a placed called Snowdin. He made it a point to let you know how lazy his brother could be. Sans just shrugged and smiled, content with letting his brother talk.

You stared at the blank storyboard boxes and sighed. This coming week had your finals and your project was due. You needed to come up with a basic storyboard for a children story, complete with notes and a general story. When the new semester starts, this would be the final project before you would earn your basic degree, but writers block had you. You wanted an original idea and wanted the stories to come with morals without being preachy.

“What are you doing human?” For someone being so loud and big, he could easily sneak up on you. You jumped and looked up at him and then back to your page.

“I-I need to finish a project.” You said quietly as he took a seat a little ways away from you and started looking at your sketches and drawings on the small table.

“Wowwie human!” At this point, you had gotten used to being called “human”. He knew your name, but he seemed to like addressing you as such, “You capture so many objects on these little papers.” He shifted through the pages, and the newest one of Sans appeared on top. You had torn it out of your pad this morning and placed it on the table before leaving. “Oh! Brother look!” He picked up the one of Sans and waved it for his brother to come look.

“I saw it yesterday Pap.” He raised his...eyebrows? That's all you could guess as he gave you a sly smile, “She may draw you when you least expect it.”

“REALLY?!” Papyrus couldn't contain himself. “CAN YOU REALLY DRAW ME LIKE YOU DREW SANS?”

You sunk into the couch a bit more. “I-I could...but that one was different...” You paused.

“Different? Different how?” Papyrus' tone lowered as he looked at another sketch and compared the two. “He is the first skeleton to be drawn.”

You chuckled, “It's hard to explain...” It honestly was. You told Sans last night it was the expression. It was a raw expression, not forced. It was a very real drawing. “If I was to draw one right now of you...it wouldn't be the same.” You said quietly.

Papyrus didn't understand, but he nodded. “Alright, human.” You sighed, feeling guilty, but if Papyrus was upset with you, he didn't show it. He was already onto another topic, “Human! I noticed your lack of spaghetti!”

You looked back up at him and stared at him and then looked over towards Sans who had taken a seat on the beanbag chair in the corner. “Spaghetti?”

“Yes! Your supplies of food are low. You had these strange noodles, but none were that were best for spaghetti!” He said as he stood up. “For I, the Great Papyrus needs to make spaghetti for you so we can become the best of friends!”

You gave another look over to Sans, what was his brother on about. “I-I don't understand?” You looked back to Papyrus who had jumped back up off the couch and stood over you.

“I must prepare my best dish for you to become true friends!” He stood back with a hand on his hip and his other gesturing to himself, “As for I am GREAT, I am also known as Master Chef Papyrus in the Underground.”

His energy and passion were something else. You couldn't help but giggle, no longer feeling intimidated by the larger skeleton.

“We can walk to the store tomorrow and pick up some pasta.” You suggested. You noticed that his eyes started to twinkle.

“That sounds great human!” He turned to Sans, “Sans! You will be going with us as well unless...Nyeh?!” The sudden cry and his behavior shifted as he looked back to you. Sans couldn't help but stifle a small laugh. You gave the skeleton a concerned look. “THIS ISN'T A DATE IS IT?”

Your cheeks flushed, “W-what?!” You looked back and forth between the two, Sans smile growing ever wider as he snuggled back into his chair. “I-I...wha....” You sunk lower into the couch, hiding your face from the two behind your art pad.

_What's going on?_

Papyrus excused himself and ran off to his room without letting you collect your thoughts. You stared at Sans, pleading for an explanation.

“Don't worry about it. I guess I'll go to keep an eye on him.” Sans shrug and closed his eyes lazily.

You gave him a nod and sighed. The white page below you called to you as you stared blankly at it. What were you going to do? You didn't have any solid ideas for your project and you had less than a week before the semester ends and you've procrastinated for far too long. You placed the end of your pencil in your mouth and lightly chewed on it.

_What am I going to do..._

Sans had at some point grabbed the remote and flipped threw the channels on the TV. He stopped on a documentary channel discussing the solar system. What ever was on decided to start it's commercials. A loud booming voice came from the TV as a kid styled super hero popped on the screen discussing something probably about pollution or how to prevent fires.

“Oh!” You said out loud, forgetting once again you weren't by yourself. You didn't notice Sans stir slightly as he lazily stared at you with half lidded eyes. It didn't matter, you finally had an idea. Children loved colorful superheros...that would be the style of character you would make.

You removed the storyboard page from your sketch pad and flipped it open to the first blank page and started sketching. Your pencil froze as the basic skeletal structure of the body. Okay, so you had an idea, but the concept wasn't finished. It didn't take long before Papyrus peeked his head out of his door calling for Sans.

“Sans? Do you know where the story book is?” He asked as you heard the smaller skeleton slowly leave his bean bag chair. You looked up and watched him walk towards Papyrus' room.

“It's probably still in one of your boxes. I'll help you look.” He said as he yawned and followed Papyrus into his room.

_Papyrus...looks like a superhero..._

You smiled as you began to sketch Papyrus' broad chest and the pose he had struck earlier in front of you. You chuckled and smiled to yourself as you happily began sketching.

_I can't just outright use Papyrus...he'd probably not appreciates it..._

You thought as your pencil came to a stop. You thought for a moment and tapped the paper before you smiled at something he said earlier.

“Master Chef huh?” You chuckled once more, “What about...Captain...Pasta?” You said quietly to yourself. It didn't take much convincing yourself, the name stood out and you wrote above the picture in artistic style, _Captain Pasta_. You paused your thought for a few minutes. Every good hero had a fabulous sidekick to go about their adventures. Who would the sidekick be? He's have to measure up to the name _Captain Pasta_ after all. It didn't take you long as you drew an ampersand followed by _Mr. Noodle_. You giggled as your pencil came to life as you were off into your own little world, happily drawing on your sketch pad. Nothing could pry your attention away from your work now, not even the tingling in your “elbow” seemed to bother you.

**~ * ~**

Sans stood leaning against the living room wall, just off to your right. He had kept quiet as he watch you. You didn't even seem to notice him. What ever you were focusing on had your full attention, and he didn't want to disturb you. Your tense and careful expression you wore all day had cracked, there was a softness to it. It was rare, but it's the second time he had seen this look on your face. Once yesterday when you had been sketching you, and now with what ever you was sketching now, though now you were a bit more vocal about it.

“Sans?” Papyrus called from his bedroom. Sans stood up and meandered into his bedroom once again.

“Where's the human? Did she not want to partake in this story time?”

Sans shook his head and took a seat at the edge of Papyrus' bed. “She's busy Pap, maybe tomorrow.” He paused as he flipped the worn book open to a place in the middle. “Where did we leave off?”

“Oh-oh-oh! It was after the knight broke into the castle!” Papyrus happily reminded Sans.

“Right, right,” Sans said as he flipped a few more pages, stopping when he found it. He took a deep breath and began to read where he left off.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried really hard to have this out sooner and wanted to write my Christmas chapter to come out today, but it will be a bit late. I wont have time to start writing today, but I plan to start writing again tomorrow after family dinners are done.
> 
> As a note for the tone of this chapter. I wanted to show a happier side of the character. It's a balancing act writing the "reader's" part due to how fast I could spiral her mood. I needed to write something fun, and adding Papyrus into the story makes it so much easier to keep moods high.
> 
> The next chapter will be about celebrating Christmas, sorry it's going to be after the holiday. For those who do celebrate Christmas today, Merry Christmas, and for those who observe other holidays, I hope you are having a safe and happy holiday as well. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and enjoy your day.


	4. Empty

****Sans left Papyrus' room a while later. He looked towards the couch where you had been working earlier as he walked passed to sit back in his bean bag chair and watch TV. As he walked passed he noticed your head was hanging low, and your pencil was on the floor.  He sighed softly as he took a moment to realize you were sleeping. Sans stopped and picked up the pencil from the floor and placed it on the table.  He walked passed as he went towards his room. He returned shortly and laid a light blue blanket and a small white pillow on the back of the couch and approached you from the front. He slowly lifted the sketch pad from your lap and laid it on the table behind him. You stirred slightly and turned to lean on your side and allowing your legs to fall to rest against the back of the couch.

Sans waiting until you were settled and grabbed the pillow. He carefully lifted you forward and placed it behind your back and then slowly pulled the blue blanket over your legs and shoulders. You stirred once more and mumbled something under your breath.  Sans smiled as he stood up and glanced at the open sketchpad on the table. He saw the words “ _Captain Pasta & Mr. Noodle_” along with two very familiar shapes. He held his hand over his mouth to stifle a laugh.

Sans took his seat on his beanbag and looked towards the TV, the documentary for the solar system wasn't playing anymore but another one discussing the evolution of humans was playing instead.  He leaned back into the chair, it rustled softly as his weight shifted. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he took it out to look.  It was Frisk who had taken a picture of the thermometer showing Sans that their temperature had returned to normal.

Sans smiled as he typed a quick message, “That's great kiddo. Tell Tori I said goodnight.” Sans pressed the button to send the message and shoved his phone back into his pocket. It knocked against something hollow and he exchanged his phone for the small orange bottle. He had found it in his room as he was moving boxes in earlier. Sans had placed it in his pocket and forgot about it until now. He glanced over at you again before he read the small text on the bottle.

_**Rx Pharmacy Direct** _

_**NO: 0040013-02011 Dr. Harson** _

_**LEXAPRO** _

_**_____ _____** _

_**24 Alice Ave, XXXX, XXXXX** _

_**TAKE ONE CAPSULE BY MOUTH ONCE PER DAY** _

_**QTY 30** _

_**NO REFILL – DR. AUTHORIZATION REQUIRED** _

Sans read the bottle and looked up at you sleeping on the couch once again. He rolled it over in his hand a few times and sighed. It belonged to you, but he didn't know why it was in his room. He thought about it a second before grabbing for his phone again. He held the bottle in his left as he opened the web browser on his phone and started to type in the name _Lexapro_. It didn't take long for the results to show. The first link gave him the information he wanted to know. It was an antidepressant medication. He closed his phone and looked at the small bottle once again. Humans were amazing. They had medication for anything and everything. There was nothing like this in Underground. He shoved it into his pocketed and watched you for a little while longer as you slept.

**~ * ~**

_Where am I?_

You stretched and groaned as you felt a crick in your neck. You rubbed it gently as you slowly opened your eyes. The living room slowly came into focus as a smaller skeleton watched you from the beanbag chair. He flashed you his smile as you pushed yourself up quickly. A knot twisted itself in your stomach as you remembered that you must have fallen asleep on the couch. You felt your right shoulder, making sure everything was okay and let out a sigh.

“Morning sunshine.” He slowly stood up. “Pap will be waking up soon. He'll probably ask to go shopping.” He had gotten up and walked passed you to go into the kitchen.

You sat there, blankly staring at the blanket that was bundled up in your lap. Behind you the sound of dishes bumping into each other reminds you that Sans had walked into the kitchen, you forced yourself to stand. Still disorientated, you pulled the cover off of you and tried to stand on your still asleep legs. Your right leg gave away as you stumbled to the floor. The table clattered and you let out a small gasp as your ribs collided with the top. It knocked the wind out of you as you let out a small whine. Before you could open your eyes again you felt Sans small hand on your back.

“Hey, you okay?” His other hand touched your right shoulder and you pulled away.

“I-I'm fine!” You winced as you pushed yourself off the table with your left to spin around to face Sans. “I just tr-tripped.” You lightly laughed as he offered you his hand. You took it in yours and he helped you to your feet. Your ribs ached and you remembered you had not been to your room yet.

“My medicine...” You whispered softly.

“What was that?” Sans asked while still holding onto your hand. His smile had faltered as his expression changed into that of concern.

“I...” You paused and looked to your hand. The realization that he hadn't let go was slightly embarrassing. Your cheeks flushed and your hand twitched. Sans had noticed then and let you go quickly.

Sans placed his hand behind his skull and laughed lightly, “Sorry, was making sure you could stand.”

You nodded lightly and made your way to your bedroom. You could hear Sans sigh behind you as you closed and locked your door.

This wasn't good, you didn't take any of your medication last night. You walked over to your nightstand and picked up a small bottle. You popped the lid and turned to shake a pill onto the stand. Two fell and bounced and spun. You placed the bottle back down and grabbed one of the small pills and placed it in your mouth. You rolled it on your tongue for a moment as you grabbed the water bottle. Popping the top open and squeezed it for a bit of water to swallow. As you set the water down it knocked another white bottle over. You picked it up slowly and read the small text. It was for one of your sleeping pills you could get over the counter. You didn't need to take one last night...

_What was different? I've never been able to fall asleep without these..._

Your mind trailed off as you sat down on the bed. The only thing that was different was Papyrus and Sans had moved in. Maybe it was also not taking your Lexapro. You weren't sure. Maybe taking it in the morning wouldn't be a bad idea from now on.

You heard a knock at your door, Sans voice spoke softly from the other side, “Hey ____, I have some toast out here if you want some.”

You smiled, this was nice. You could get used to it. You looked back at the nightstand with the various bottles and looked away.  “Y-yeah...” You called out softly, “I'll be there in a minute.”

He seemed to take this answer and his soft footsteps could be heard heading back towards the kitchen. Another voice sounded and you knew Papyrus was awake. You stood up and approached the door. You took in another deep breath and unlocked it. You could really get used to the company. It was comforting.

**~ * ~**

Shopping took longer than expected. It took a while convincing Papyrus that this was not in fact a date. Sans didn't help either. He just smiled and shrugged when asked a question or to point out how a date would really work. He seemed to enjoy how flushed and animated you would become trying to keep up with his brother.

You were happy to finally be home. Sans unlocked the door and let you and Papyrus in to start putting the groceries away. In exchange for no rent this month, you had asked if they would cover the food expenses, which they were happy to. As you set the bags down you reached to unzip your coat, but again one of the two had automatically come to help you. This time Sans had helped you out of your coat.  
  
“Thank you.” You said softly as he handed you your coat and took the bags into the kitchen.

“We'll put these up, you have your project you have to work on still right?” Sans asked as he motioned towards the table. You gave him another nod and walked over to take your seat once again on the couch. You had grabbed your storyboard pages and started sketching the silly antics of Captain Pasta and Mr. Noodle.

Papyrus had turned on the cooking network. Apparently, his favorite idol's cooking show was on soon and he insisted on watching it. It didn't matter to you as you were focused on your work. You finally had an idea to start and you ran with it. You smiled as you drew Papy...Captain Pasta striking a dramatic pose while Mr. Noodle stood at his feet cheering. You were slightly embarrassed. You didn't think they'd be upset with you, but they would probably laugh at the idea. You weren't planning on hiding it from them, but you figured you wanted to wait until you had something solid down to show them. You hummed softly to yourself as you worked away. Your eye darting across the page, and before you realized it, you had brushed the hair away from your right eye.

Sans had taken his seat on the beanbag and watched you, smiling as he slowly removed his phone from his pocket. He held it opened and found his camera app and pointed it at you. He lined it up and waiting. He was waiting for the perfect frame. You had brought the end of your pencil to your lips and absentmindedly chewed on the end. You paused for a moment and smiled, the gaze on the paper was content, and you could see how much dedication she was pouring into the work. At that moment, Sans had pressed the button, capturing it. He pulled his phone back into his lap and stared at the phone's screen before looking back up at you. You hadn't noticed. He smiled as he lazily leaned back in the chair.

**~ * ~**

The three of you had gotten used to each other's normal routines. You took note of when Papyrus said he was going to make his spaghetti. Sans had warned you prior, but you still grimaced. Too much salt on the pasta had made you cough. When he asked you assured him his cooking was fine and offered to make him your own spaghetti. He seemed ecstatic, something to do with becoming best friends.

Classes started bright and early as usual during the week. Monday came and gone without incident. You managed to talk with your art instructor about your project due Thursday before heading off to your job at the local library. It didn't pay well, and if the skeleton brothers hadn't moved in to help with next month's rent you...well you didn't want to think about it any longer. Your previous roommates left you high and dry once you moved in. They left when you were at the university, taking your medicine and some of your stashed away savings. It made you uneasy thinking about it, but you were in a terrible situation. Your landlord gave you as much leeway as they could, but your time was running out.

You took a deep breath as you put your bag down behind the desk and pulled your coat off over your head to lay against the back of your chair. You walked over into the drop off box and started to collect the books that had collected in the bin. The job wasn't stressful, you had a cart to move the books around and a lot of it was scanning cards. The system had an automatic notification system for books on waiting lists. It was something at your pace, and the other co-workers didn't bother you.

Your days at the library were nice and quiet. Occasionally someone would ask for help locating a book or needing help in the media room, but you generally your other co-workers took care of those requests. When times were slow you would dust the shelves and return books to their proper shelf locations.

At some point during your shift, you lost track of time. You were close to the back in the history section when your phone vibrated in your side pocket. The book slid into his spot easily and you leaned against the cart to check your phone.

_**Are you okay?** _

It was a text from Sans. You realized you forgot to let the two know you were working until late. You looked up and down the aisle to make sure no one was around before you tapped the buttons and sent your reply.

_**I'm fine. I'm at the library. I'll head home in a half hour.** _

You looked up from your phone and looked to the skylight above you. The sky was dark, only the bright lights from the taller builds filled your view. Your phone buzzed again and you peered at the message.

_**The one off the main road near your University right?** _

You replied that he was correct and put the phone away. You could respond to any more messages after your shift was over. You grabbed the cart and went back to the main desk to pick up another set of books to put away.

As you passed the front desk, the other two assistants were chatting about their upcoming holiday parties. You had completely forgotten. You had your exams this week, but next week was Christmas. This would be the first time you'd be spending the holidays with someone since you left the halfway house. You stood there, staring at the books.

_No...they have family and friends they're going to see on that day...you're just a roommate._

You sighed and your static expression cracked and you bit your lip. Why was it bothering you? It's just been you, that's all it's ever going to be.

_They don't owe you anything...they've lived with you for less than a few days and you're already attached...like you're a family._

You took a sharp breath and subconsciously grabbed your right elbow. Your stomach tied knots. You'd been alone for so long, that you forgot you were ever lonely, to begin with.

_How pathetic..._

The same, familiar, voice rang in your head as you took another sharp breath. Your voice. Your fingers twitched as the strength left them. They loosened around your elbow as you brought your hand up to your chin. Shaking fingers brushing your lower lip. You reminded yourself to take a slow deep breath.

“____?” A soft-spoken voice called from behind.

Your arm jerked. Your two co-workers had stopped chatting at some point and were looking at you. You could see them out of the corner of your eye giving you questioning stares.

“____, are you alright?” The voice was soft and soothing. You slowly turned to see the head librarian standing beside you. She was an elderly woman who held a motherly aura. “Let's go sit down, those books will be fine where they are at.” She placed her hands on your shoulders and began to slowly guide you back behind the desks. She sat you down and lightly rubbed your back. “Is there anyone I can call?” You started to shake your head when your phone vibrated again. You tried to ignore it but she wouldn't have it. “Is that a friend?” You nodded as you pulled the phone from your pocket and placed it on the table in front of you. “May I?” She asked softly as she pulled a chair up beside you and pointed at your phone. All you could do was nod. Your face fell into your open palm as tears began to stain your cheeks.

_What's wrong with me..._

That thought only made it worse as your breath became more ragged. Why did your co-worker's conversation trigger such a strong reaction from you? You were embarrassed, you softly cried as your boss opened the phone and opened the contacts.

**~ * ~**

Sans stood beside the front desk as the head librarian explained what she could that had happened. You weren't able to speak, and hearing Sans voice made it worse. You were ashamed, but you couldn't stop yourself from crying. Soft sobs escaped your lips and you buried your face in your hand. The door for going behind the desk had clicked open and you felt the warm hand of the head librarian on your shoulder again.

“Your friend is here to come take you home. Get some rest and call in tomorrow morning.” You nodded lightly as you heard the familiar shuffle of San's jacket behind you.

“Hey, kid.” You didn't have to see him to know he was uncomfortable. He wasn't your caregiver. Could you even be considered friends? You've only known him for three days. Your back shook and you leaned forward in the chair.

“Let's get your coat dear.” She said as she gave your back another gentle rub and guided you to stand. You felt your coat wrap around your shoulders and Sans' hand gently press against your lower back. It was comforting as he slowly walked to your right. You couldn't see him, but you could feel the zipper being pull up on your coat.

“Come on,” Sans said softly as he turned and guided you slowly out of the library.

You stood on shaky legs as Sans gently guided you down the steps. He didn't say anything as you cupped your mouth with your hand. Sans led you towards the car once you were outside, but you stopped.

“C-can't...” You said between broken sobs. “Can't g-go h-home.” You managed to choke out before coughing.

Sans looked around and spotted a park across the street. Not a lot of people were around as they kept to the main sidewalk going from one shop to the next. “Here, let's go sit over there.” He said softly as he led you across the road.

The cool air felt nice, you felt you could breathe again. Sans guided you to a bench and you sat when you felt the back of the bench on your legs. He took a seat next to you and took out his phone and started to dial a number.

“Papyrus?” You froze as Sans spoke. “____?” His gaze fell as he looked down at the ground. “She'll be alright. Go ahead and make something to eat. I'll call you when we're on our way home.” He sat and listed to Papyrus speak on the other side of the phone before hanging up his phone. He looked up and sighed softly before speaking. “I'm sorry to say this kid, but you don't look fine.”

You took a deep breath and finally looked at him. You could see he was concerned. You felt guilty and shook your head. “I-I was...” You said softly.

“You're not fine now, though. Want to talk about it?” He asked and you shook your head no.

“I...I have no right...” You said breathlessly as you felt more tears fall. “It's stupid...” You felt his bony hand rest on top of your head and gently stroke your hair. It was strangely calming. You turned to give him a confused look. “Papyrus was a crybaby when he was younger.” He paused as he looked up at the faded sky. “When he was upset I'd pet the top of his head, it seemed to calm him.” He looked back down and gave you a soft smile.

“I...” You stammered as your gaze fell to the ground. “I-I'm sorry....” You shut your eyes tightly and wiped the tears from your cheek.  "I'm so s-sorry..." Your voice trailed off.

“You don't have to apologize. If you want to talk about what's troubling you I'm all ears...or at least I would be if I had them.” His smile grew as he tried to cheer you up. Your eyes opened once more and you took another deep breath. Where could you start? You're still unsure why it was this bad. In your silence, you heard Sans sigh again. You heard his pocket rustle and in the corner of your eye, you saw him withdraw a small orange bottle. He rolled it in his hand and took his hand away from your head. He looked at you as he switched the bottle to his right and held it up to you. “Does it have to do with this?”

Your eyes widened as you read the bottle.

_**LEXAPRO** _

A gasp escaped your lips as you jerked your arm in your coat. They didn't force your arm through the sleeve earlier when they helped you put on your coat, you weren't able to reach for the bottle.

“H-how?” You looked up with fear in your eyes. Sans took a mental note and then shoved it back into his pocket.

“I found it in my room when moving in. It was just sitting in the middle of the floor. Not sure why it was there, but I thought I'd ask you about it, seems like this is supposed to help?” He looked back up to the sky. “This stuff not working?”

You took another deep breath. You were tired of crying. Your throat hurt, your face stung with the cold breeze, and your nose was running. You coughed and thought for a moment. You held your breath, the sudden realization.  You hadn't taken your pill today.  You took it yesterday morning, but in your routine, you had forgotten that you were going to start taking it in the morning.  When you felt you could answer you softly said, “I forgot...”

Sans returned his gaze to, “Forgot? Forgot what?”

Missing your routine that one day messed you up. After taking it late on Sunday, you hadn't taken it since then.  It was already Tuesday, you messed up terribly.  “I didn't take it.”

Sans furrowed his brows, “Isn't that unhealthy?”

It obviously was, you were walking proof of it right now. You finally felt like you could no longer cry. Your cheeks still wet, but you bit your lower lip, attempting anything to keep your voice from quivering. “I messed up.” You said quietly and sunk your head into your coat.

You heard Sans get up from the bench. Your heart sank. You could hear the soft snow crunch under his feet and you squeezed your eyes shut. You were going to be alone. You took in another deep breath, holding it still as the pain welled up in your chest. The lonely hole that you thought you had grown accustomed to, was back... The sound of the snow crunching stopped as you felt the zipper of your coat slide down. Your eyes snapped opened in surprise as you focused on the smaller skeleton who sat on his knees in the snow in front of you. His hood pulled up shadowing the soft expressing and small smile he was giving you.

“W-hy?” You asked shakily, somehow, you felt more tears slide down your cheeks. “I thought you...you left...” Your throat hoarse. Your throat felt tight as soft sobs escaped your lips once again.

“Everyone makes mistakes, “ Sans paused as he adjusted the zipper on your coat, not wanting you to get cold. He just wanted you to look him in the eyes. “What kind of friend would I be if I was to walk away now?”

Before you could think, your left arm shoved itself out of your coat and wrapped tightly around the back of Sans head. You pulled him in tightly. Your vision blurry from the tears as you pressed your face into his soft fluffy hood. After a few seconds, you felt his arms wrap around your waist and his chin rest gently on your knees. His embrace was strong, yet comforting. You didn't want to think, you shook as small hiccups escaped along with a cough to catch your breath. Sans didn't say anything as he rubbed your back soothingly.

**~ * ~**

Some time had passed before you could finally let go of Sans. Snow had started to fall, and a few flakes had started to build up on your hat and shoulders. The two of you sat quietly. You started shivering at one point, but you didn't care. You felt lighter, but you still felt something coiled up inside of you. It was numbing, but relaxing all the same.  You couldn't find words for it if you tried.

“Ready to go home?” Sans asked as he shifted in his seat. He had been quiet for a while as you cried. You turned to face him and shook your head.

“Not yet...” You looked back out across the park. The snow glistening as it fell. “It's very pretty...” You said softly. Sans looked forward and laughed softly. “Yeah, I guess it is.” He looked back up towards the sky, the white flakes gently landing on his hood.

“It's like seeing the stars...” You said as you held out your hand to catch the small flakes. They instantly melted as they touched your skin.

“You can't see the stars here in the city,” Sans said, his gaze not leaving the sky.

You nod, not sure if he could see or not, “It's been so long...I don't even think I remember what they look like. I only ever see them in pictures or on tv...” You caught yourself in a yawn and you went to stand. Sans felt the bench shift and he stood quickly and grabbed your arm. You were surprised at first but were glad as you stumbled forward. You felt weak, drained. “Th-thank you...” You murmured.

“Let's go, Papyrus' dinner is probably cold now,” Sans said as he guided you to his car. He helped you in before going over to his side and taking his seat at the wheel. The car roared to life and he flipped the heat on for you. You rubbed your hand against your face. It was chapped from sitting out in the cold, and feeling the warming air blow towards you made you realize it.

You rubbed your skin lightly as the car began to move. You sat quietly as the two of you drove towards home. What could you say?

“You weren't supposed to see me like this...” You mumbled, more to yourself then towards Sans. You could see him shrug.

“You humans are amazing.” He said quietly as the car slowed at a stop light. “You have medicine far more advanced then we were had in the underground. You have medicine that returns your hope.” He said quietly. You sat back in your chair, you wouldn't say yourself that the medicine gave you hope, it just made it easier to go from one day to the next. Maybe this was the best what he knew how to word it, and you felt you didn't want correct him. You gave him a slow nod as the car began to move once again.

**~ * ~**

The two of you didn't get far into the door or your own coat off before Papyrus ran up to the two of you. He scolded Sans for not letting him know how late the two of you were going to be out and forgetting to call him. It wasn't intentional. You felt guilty, but Papyrus calmed down seeing your puffy eyes and solemn face.

“It is alright hu-...____.” He spoke your name softly. It felt endearing. You gave him a weak smile as you held onto your coat, your hat still sitting snugly on your head. “I do not understand why the flesh on your face is swollen, but if it is why you are so late, I can let this pass.” His gloved hand gently patted your head. The knot in your stomach twisting lightly.

“Th-thank you.” You said softly, you rubbed your left eye, you were done crying for the day. You were too tired.

Sans looked to you and spoke softly, “Do you want your medicine?”

You shook your head lightly, he was about to protest but you gave him a soft smile, “I want to eat first...I'll take it when I go to bed.”

Sans gave you a nod, Papyrus looked like he wanted to ask, but he knew better than that. Instead, the solemn mood that had fell on your group shifted as Papyrus smiled brightly, “Yes! I had prepared dinner for your return. It had gone cold, but no matter friend! I can make more!” He said excitedly.

You laugh lightly, the house felt warmer, brighter somehow. “You can heat up whatever you made, I want to sleep soon.” Your suggestion was noted. Papyrus apologized for it not being up to his high standards. After all, this was his master dish. The dish that was meant to solidify your friendship. You assured him though that his food was wonderful. It honestly may have just been reheated salty spaghetti, but it was something he had put a lot of care into. You smiled as you happily ate it, realizing how hungry you had been.

After dinner Sans had walked you to your room, he held the bag you received from the doctor on Saturday. Sans retrieved it for you when you asked where he had put it and had assured you he had not looked into the contents. He didn't ask either, letting you have your privacy. You assured him you would take your medicine and bade him goodnight. You slipped into your room and locked the door behind you.

You sighed heavily as you dumped the contents onto the bed and removed the cream for your arm and walked into your personal bathroom. The bathroom had a few towels, and the medicine cabinet hung above the sink, it's door missing. You did, however, have a small compact mirror sitting on the edge of the sink. You sat on the edge of the bath and placed the cream to your side. The small container echoing a dull thud throughout the porcelain white tub. You removed the sling from your arm and pulled your oversized sweater over your head and let it sit crumbled on the floor. You felt for the latches on the straps and eased them open. You leaned lightly against the wall, taking care not to let your arm drop from the awkward angle you had to tilt to reach one of the higher straps. Your arm was finally free and you carefully pulled it to rest in your lap. You felt a chill as the cool air of the bathroom met the skin on your side. You grabbed a wash cloth and ran the water behind you in the bath. After this, you would take your medicine and curl up in bed. You had an exam in the afternoon, and you hoped you that you would sleep easier that night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone everyone is having a happy holiday! I'm sorry this chapter is a bit shorter then the rest. I had originally planned for this chapter to cover Christmas, but I didn't want to skip two weeks ahead. My next chapter will cover the holiday and will be extra long because of it. 
> 
> I also want to thank you all again for the kudos, the bookmarks, and the lovely comments. You have no idea how much it means to me, and how much more I want to poor into this story because of it.
> 
> I was asked if I had a tumblr, and honestly I created one to follow other authors and artists I've found recently. It's new to me, and I've only made one post relating to a game I play in my spare time, but if you want to follow I'll start posting updates about my writings. If you have any questions feel free to ask.
> 
> tumblr: http://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	5. Delirium

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of this chapter has been written in San's POV. I also had to take a moment to share some awesome fanart I received. Thank you all so much. My heart is filled with love, but not LOVE. (I'll show myself out, enjoy!)
> 
> http://kioribug.tumblr.com/post/136160686632/i-was-at-school-when-i-doodle-this-still-trying  
> http://kioribug.tumblr.com/post/136170405067/there-was-a-part-in-chapter-2-where-sans-helps

 

You groggily rolled out of bed the next morning. You ached and shivered as you felt the stabbing pain in your arm. Sitting up in bed you bit your lower lip and reached for a small white opened bottle from your nightstand and tipped it over onto the bed. Three small white pills fell and bounced lightly. You just had today, and tomorrow. The same classes you had on Monday were the same on Friday, and you've already taken your final. You were done after you handed in your story board. Today was just a math exam, but your head was cloudy. You scooped the tablets into your hand swallowed them.

You couldn't miss today. Your fingers wouldn't cooperate with you easily this morning either. You felt light headed, you were cold, and overall, you just felt terrible. You finally managed to pull the straps and fasten them as tightly as you could and grab an oversized sweater and hugged the fabric against you. The warmth felt nice. You grabbed a pair of sweatpants and pulled them on before unlocking your door. You had left your bag in Sans and Papyrus' car and your coat was thrown over the back of the couch.

The dining room was lit and welcoming. As you turned the corner you saw Papyrus sitting at the table eating what looks like a bowl of some sugary cereal you had picked up over the weekend. He looked up and gave you a smile, but his brows furrowed at the sight of you. You gave him a small smile and gentle wave as you grabbed your coat.

“Human?” Papyrus said softly. You turned and looked back at him, confused slightly. “Are you feeling alright?”

You gave him another smile and a nod, “I just need to take my exam and I'll come back home...” You said as you reached your hand into the pocket of the coat, searching for your phone. It wasn't there. You looked over the couch but your search was interrupted.

“A nice lady called earlier.” You turned to look back over to him. “She said she worked at the library and was asking how you were feeling. I assured her that you were better, but that you were sleeping.” He paused and pushed the phone that sat in front of him at the table, “I hope that you are not upset I answered.”

You shook your head and walked towards the table. You pocketed the phone and gave him another small smile. “Thank you...” You stumbled slightly and Papyrus shot up from his seat, knocking the table as he did so.

“Human?” He said as he was already quickly at your side. “Are you sure you are okay? Your face is red.”

It took you a moment to understand what he meant. You brought your hand to your forehead and sighed. You felt clammy. You walked over towards the counter top and opened the drawer. You had your cold medicines, thermometer, and measuring cups stored here. You hadn't thought to take them to your room yet. You pulled out the thermometer and stuck the tip in your mouth under your tongue. You removed the cold and flu tablets from the draw and placed them on the counter. Papyrus watched you, a worried expression still worn across his face. The device beeped a short while after and you took it out to read the numbers. You sighed and turned on your sink to rinse the tip before throwing it back onto the counter top. You had a slight fever.

“I'll be fine.” You said softly and turned away from the counter, forgetting the tablets. You sighed softly as you passed him to walk to the front door. Your hat and keys laid on the small table next to door. You pulled your hat over your head and grabbed the keys.

“Human...You will call if need help right?” You stopped before grabbing the door to turn and look at him. “I know that you and Sans talk a lot more about what is going on, but rest assure...I am just as reliable as he.” He said gestured himself and struck a confident pose.

You gave him a genuine smile and chuckled softly, “Thank you Papyrus. If I need anything, I will call.” You paused and thought, “I'll call when I finish my test. I can leave as soon as it is done.”

This made Papyrus' expression brighten. “Right!” He said happily. You could see he was thinking but you needed to get going. He spoke once more as you opened the door. “Would you like me to escort you to your place of learning? Sans did not take the car this morning, so it is no problem!”

“If it's no trouble...” You answered before you could think about it. Your mind instead was confused as to why the car was still here if Sans wasn't. “Where did Sans go?”

Papyrus had grabbed the keys and you followed after him quickly. The snow did not seem to bother him at all.

“My brother says that he is working odd jobs for the King.” Papyrus said as he hopped into the drivers side and started the car. You weren't sure you completely understood, it didn't even answer your question, but you had assumed that Sans had some sort of job for income. Papyrus you weren't sure about yet, but he did help keep things organized. You didn't think you'd get an answer you were looking for as it seemed this was a normal thing that Sans didn't take the car.

The car ride to the University was quiet and Papyrus let you off just outside the main campus building. You grabbed your bag and departed with a small wave. You promised that you would call when your test was over. Papyrus had found you a scarf somewhere in the back of the car, it was probably Frisk's but he assured you that Frisk would be fine with you using it. You wrapped it around your neck loosely, but enough to cover your mouth.

You adjusted the scarf as you walked into the class hall. You took your usual seat in the middle row towards the isle. You set your bag down and grabbed the pencil case to get your materials ready. The teacher was thumbing through his papers at his desk as the last few students walked through the door. 10Am ticked onto the clock and the professor got up to close the door as one last student slipped in. He laughed as he ran to take his seat in the front row. The door closed loudly and the professor glanced around the hall. Probably taking note of anyone missing. Once he was satisfied he locked it the door. Strict on punctually. You were glad Papyrus drove you in today, you probably would have been locked out. You'd have to thank him later for it. Now though, you had to keep yourself focused for the test, but your swimming, cloudy mind was going to challenge you to stay focused.

**~ * ~**

The test itself probably took more time they you wanted it to, but you were confident that you were going to at least score a solid B in the class. The professor had refused to let anyone leave until the last paper was turned in. The door was unlocked and the students rushed to either head to their next class or to meet up with their friends or clubs. You tightened the scarf around your neck once again and tucked the tail into the neck of your coat. You had put your pencils away to sit back in your chair. Your vision fuzzy, your fever possibly worse then this morning, you had forgotten to take the tablets. Sighing, you flipped open you phone and turned it on. It took a moment, but the chime sounded and the start up screen flashed. Once it was fully booted it chimed a few more times, letting you know a series of messages was left. This last week had changed so much. Your phone used to only have notifications for important dates and class projects, but now you have started exchanging messages with the two brothers. Sans would send you one liners which you happily replied back to. Papyrus on the other hand would send you long messages informing you of his day and or what his brother wasn't doing. You didn't connect with your last room mates like this at all. They kept to themselves, and honestly you think they were just looking to dump the house on you so they could leave.

There was very few people you had connected with growing up. Your peers were cruel. You used to love having short hair, but growing it out made it easier to hide your scars. Most people you would try to talk to never really saw you. These marks didn't define you, but it wasn't always that simple. You shook your head, you didn't need to think of this now.

**_GREETINGS HUMAN. THE TINY HUMAN AND I ARE SPENDING THE AFTERNOON_ _(1/4)_**

_**TOGETHER AND THERE WILL BE MANY PUZZELS AND GAMES (2/4)** _

_**I LEFT SPAGHETTI IN THE THE ICE BOX FOR YOU (3/4)** _

_**I KNOW YOU WILL DO WELL ON YOUR TEST (4/4)** _

You chuckled softly, somehow Papyrus could even send his energy through texts. Maybe is was just the constant capitals, but it didn't matter. You smiled as you responded.

_**Thank you, the test went well. I am heading home now.** _

You sent the message and opened the next, one from Sans. What did he have for you today?

_**You can tell when winter hits hard: look at all the black eyes on the road.** _

You laughed in your seat. Despite your fuzzy mind, you could at least think of a small response to this one.

_**You're on thin ice mister!** _

You sent it just as another message alerted you. Papyrus had responded.

_**DO YOU NEED ME TO TAKE YOU HOME? YOU LOOKED UNWELL AND BROTHER (1/2)** _

Your phone chimed again, alerting you to the second message.

_**WOULD WORRY IF YOU DID NOT MAKE IT HOME TODAY. (2/2)** _

You smiled and remembered his earlier message.

_**I'll be fine. I'll take the bus. Have fun with the tiny human.** _

You sent the message and sighed, you couldn't interrupt him. You've made it home during worse times. You slowly stood up on shaky legs and your phone chimed once more. A new message from Sans. You smiled and eagerly opened it.

_**Hey, these are snow joke.** _

You chuckle softly and sat back down once again. The strength in your legs and your focus on the phone didn't seem willing to cooperate. You began to tap a message when your phone chimed again. Sans had apparently decided to send another text before you could reply.

_**It's cold out, so would you like to go for some hot sandwiches? It has to be these sub-hero temperatures.** _

You couldn't help but smile. You didn't know where he got these, but honestly you hadn't eaten breakfast, and lunchtime had came and went. You knew you should eat, but the calling of the couch at home was much stronger.

_**I'm not feeling well, I'm going to go home. Papyrus made dinner.** _

You sent the message and waited this time. Sure enough, one last message arrived from Sans.

_**Are you okay?** _

The real answer was no, but you couldn't worry him anymore. Last night was still fresh in your mind.

_**I'm heading straight home, I promise. See you later.** _

You pushed the phone back into your pocket. You sighed and slowly stood to your feet. You pulled your bag over your shoulder and descended the stairs, tightly gripping the railing and made your way to the bus stop.

**~ * ~**

At some point, you had started walking the same path you were used to on auto pilot. You fumbled with the key in the lock and stumbled through the door. The lights were off, and you could feel a sudden chill. It was familiar...why was it strange?

You closed the door behind you and dropped your bag to the floor. Taking a few steps you kicked off your shoes and you unzipped your coat. You didn't want to struggle with it today, and figured you'd deal with it when you needed to wear it again. It slid off your shoulders and dropped to the floor. It was cold. You rubbed your chin and nose before pulling the hat off and holding it in your hand. At some point you had made it to the couch. You clutched your hat tightly in your hand as you tugged the scarf from your neck. It fell to your feet as you stumbled forward. The couch was cool. Even as it made you smile, you shivered and curled up into a ball. Slowly, your vision faded with the distant chime of your phone hummed, but lost as your consciousness ebbed to darkness.

**~ * ~**

Sans looked down at his phone for a while. Memories of last night still fresh in his mind. He sighed, disturbing his colleague. A meek yellow monster who wore her lab coat well looked up at him from her log and studied Sans a moment before speaking.

“I-Is everything alright?” She asked.

Sans looked up from his phone towards her, “Yeah Alphys.” He paused, “At least I think it is.” He was frustrated. He couldn't figure you out. Half the time he didn't know how to approach you, or the subject of what was going on. You were hiding something. He snapped the phone shut, “It's not like she would tell me if there was something wrong anyway.”

Alphys nodded as she placed the pen she was holding down in her book. “M-maybe she's not sure how to tell you?”

Sans leaned back and stared at the phone in his hand. He had discussed his new roommate with Alphys the last few days he had been coming to the lab. She had been studying human medicines and history since she arrived as well as shared her studies on robotics with her human colleagues. There was so much they didn't know, so much neither side knew. Their technology wasn't behind by any means, some of it was more advanced then that of the humans, but medicine and land had changed. It was more industrial.

Sans hadn't mentioned last nights breakdown to her yet. He didn't even know what to make of it himself. The only human he had known was Frisk before they freed all of Underground from their prison. Humans were normally much more reserved with their emotions. Sure, there were a lot who were vocal, but most kept themselves in check. But her, she were different. The thought never occurred to him that humans had medicines that help keep them in check.

Alphys had explained to you the need for an antidepressant he had found in his room. It had to deal with chemical imbalances in the brain. It was very complex, but it was a fascinating subject. Before last night, the thought of something like that having the ability to completely shut you down without control seemed unbelievable. He never expected to see it though.

It terrified him. He couldn't explain it. There was so much but so little expression on her face. It was like a crack in a mirror. She were teetering. The light of her soul faltering. If it was a candle, a light breeze could extinguish is at a whim, and there was nothing he felt he could do to stop it. He'd seen this before in monsters plenty of times. If that light went out, that was it. He didn't want to think about what would happen if a human's soul lost it's light. The fact that her soul was fighting against going out assured him it would be okay.

Sans' silence worried Alphys.

“Sans?” She spoke softly. She had left her seat and walked up beside him. She fumbled with her hands before reaching and placing a comforting hand against his forearm. This snapped him out of his thoughts and he looked back at her. “Did something happen?”

“Sorry...yeah...” He paused and sighed. Alphys was smart. Sans couldn't hide his worry from her. “I saw it last night Alphys.” He spoke softly. He could feel her hand twitch at his admission. He stood up and shoved the phone into his pocket. The sudden movement startled the small monster and her hand recoiled quickly. Sans took a few steps towards the lab's window and stared out over the skyline of the city. It was still early afternoon, the sky was washed grey. The ground covered with the all familiar snow, and it looked like more would be on the way.

“S-saw what?” She asked as she followed after him quickly. Where could he start, how could he explain it to her.

”That medicine I showed you.” Sans paused as he removed the bottle from his jacket, he wasn't even sure why he still held onto it. “She apparently messed up taking her medicine. She wasn't okay.” That's an understatement, but it was a lot harder to put into words then he thought it would be. “Her boss told me how she found her, but I have no clue what happened. She wouldn't tell me.”

“Maybe she couldn't,” Alphys interjected.

He didn't think of that at the time. He was used to there always be a cause and effect to things. There must have been something that triggered it, but like Alphys had said, maybe she didn't know the cause. He sighed and rubbed his temples. It was exhausting. The human mind was so exhausting to think about.

“Despite what ever was going on, she still wasn't thinking of just herself. All she could do was apologize.” He turned his back and leaned against the window to look down at Alphys. She stood there, listening. She was carefully trying to find the right words to say. “She tries so hard to hide it.”

“She probably has her reasons, Sans,” Alphys spoke softly and slowly. She walked up beside him and looked down at the streets below. “You asked her about the medicine?”

Sans rolled the bottle around in his hand and nodded. “She was afraid when she saw me holding it.” He paused remembering it, “There's something else there Alphys. I mean,“ Sans paused, trying to find the right words. “She doesn't make much sense. She was more worried about me seeing her like that, more worried about me knowing she had this medicine.”

“No one wants to show others when they are most vulnerable, Sans. It's an instinct that both humans and monsters share.” She looked back up at him and smiled.

Sans nodded, he knew that to be true more than anyone. He mentally shook the thoughts from his mind and turned to look back out across the city.

“It's frustrating Alphys. She didn't want to talk, but when she thought I was walking away from her, it broke her further. She was confused when I told her I wasn't going to just leave her there.” Sans smiled slightly, he left out the part that she had clung to him so desperately.

“What is it, Sans?” The sudden change in his expression confused her.

“I didn't think about it much until now, but in a way, she reached out. Even though she was trying to hide all of this, she still wanted someone, wanted me there.” He could remember the exact moment her soul had settled. As she grabbed him and held on to what could have been dear life, he knew it was going to be alright.

Alphys gave Sans another smile and turned to walk back over to the desk. “Give her time. If she was comfortable enough to not push you away at that time, then she'll eventually open up. Don't press the subject, though.” She hopped into her chair and picked up her pen again. When Sans caught her eyes she motioned him to take his seat again. They had spent enough time talking and if they wanted to finish before it got dark out they would need to get back to work.

Sans shrugged, “You and Undyne are going to be busy next week right?”

Alphys tapped the end of the pen lightly against her lips and nodded. “Yeah, we were going to spend the holiday together, why?”

Sans took his seat and picked up his own pen and pulled the papers closer to him to attempt to start working again. “Was thinking dinner at Grillby's this weekend. You two up for it?”

**~ * ~**

Papyrus had called to say he wasn't going to be home that night. Him and Frisk were having too much fun and the two were going to have a sleepover. Sans held onto his phone tightly as he fumbled with his key into the lock. You haven't responded to any of his latest messages. He held the phone out in front of him as he dialed your number. When he was able to open the door, it surprised him when he felt the door push something. He stopped and peeked around to see a trail of your possessions. Normally you would put things away, but he was happy to know that you were at least home.

The house was dark, him and Alphys didn't make it out of the lab before the sun had set. The two were planning a party, he was good at diverting attention away from work. The temperature had dropped and it was sleeting. The roads were going to be slick, and he was happy Papyrus was not going to be driving home in this. Sans eyes adjusted slowly to the dark room as he searched for the lightswitch on the wall. He flipped it when he found it and shut the door behind him. Sans knelt onto the floor and picked up the bag to set it out of the way. He looked up and followed the haphazardly discarded trail of your shoes and coat, as well as a stray glove. He stood up slowly and looked towards the living room.

“____?” He called out, only be met with silence. He walked slowly into the room and picked up the coat, folding it in his arms. He felt the weight of her cell phone in it and sighed. That would explain why she hadn't responded.

He stopped when he approached the side of the couch. He could see her curled up laying on her side, shaking violently. “____?” He said a bit more forceful. This seemed to stir her slightly.

Her face was red, hair a mess. Her face buried further into the cushion of the couch, but her right eye opened slightly. It unnerved him. It felt unnatural, but he didn't know why.

Sans took a seat in front of the back of her legs and placed the coat next to him on the ground. “Lookin a little hot there kid.” He joked. Rather she ignored him or just didn't hear, Sans wasn't sure. He noticed her shivering once again. “I'll be back in a moment.” Sans went to stand but was met with a sudden knock to his back and a tug on his jacket's elbow. “Hey, you could have knocked the wind ou-” He stopped when he saw the expression on her face. Her eyes, half open, held a sadness and possibly a bit of fear in them. She had rolled over onto her back so she could grab a hold of his jacket with her left hand. “____?”

“D-don't go...” she said softly, slightly slurring her speech. Her grip faltered, her hand shook violently with another shiver. She left go of the fabric and let her hand fall to land on her hip.

Sans sighed, but smiled. “I'll be right back.” He got up, she protested but was too weak to actually fight him to stay. It didn't take him long but Sans returned shortly with the same white pillow and blue blanket he had lent her before. She seemed to look right through him as he leaned over the couch, “Can you sit up?” He asked but received no response. He sighed as he laid the blanket on the back of the couch and walked over in front of her. He knelt down next to the couch and as gently, as a skeleton could, slid his arm under her head and shoulders and slowly lifted her up. Something felt strange, but he didn't think about it much. He helped her to sit straight as he placed the pillow near the arm of the couch. She reached out again and grabbed the sleeve of his jacket, her expression never changing. She was starting at him, or through him. “Need me to get anything?” Sans reached into his pocket and fetched his cell phone. “I'm going to call Papyrus, give me just a moment.” Again, no response.

Sans stood up slowly, her grip this time not letting go, this somehow made him smile and he let her hold onto his jacket. He flipped to his contacts and selected his brother and pressed the call button. He shifted the phone to his left and raised it to his head.

It didn't take long for Papyrus to answer, “BROTHER!” The excitement in his voice always made Sans smile.

“Hey Pap, when you put away the groceries do you remember where you put the chicken soup?” It was the same stuff they had given Frisk when they were sick earlier this week.

“BUT WHAT OF MY SPAGHETTI?” Sans couldn't help but laugh.

“I don't think she can eat your spaghetti tonight bro. She needs something a little lighter to swallow.” Sans said as he looked towards the kitchen.

To Sans surprised, Papyrus lowered his tone, “Is ____ alright?”

“Yeah, I think she was just out in the cold a little too long yesterday,” Sans replied. It made him happy that Papyrus was just as concerned for her well-being as he was.

“SANS! YOU KEPT HER OUT TOO LONG!” Papyrus scolded Sans, he sighed in response.

“I know bro, sorry.” Sans apologized, chuckling softly.

“She did not look well this morning, I should have insisted she stay home,” Papyrus said, his tone lowering. Sans hated to hear his brother's guilt.

“She wouldn't have stayed home, she said she had exams this week. Don't think she can miss those.” Sans said as he gently pulled his jacket away. Again, she couldn't protest too much and groaned weakly.

Sans walked into the kitchen and over towards the food pantry.

“I'll keep an eye on her, just trying to see if I can get her to eat something,” Sans said as he eyed the shelf. “Soup bro?”

“OH YES! TOP SHELF” Papyrus paused, “DO YOU KNOW IF SHE HAS USED THE INSTRUMENT TO READ HER TEMPERATURE AGAIN?”

“Thermometer? I don't know where she keeps it.” Sans opened the doors to the top shelf and searched for the soup cans. He quickly found what he needed and his eye lit with magic. The can flew off the shelf and down into his hand and placed it on the counter next to him. He shut the cabinet and grabbed a bowel from the rack near the sink. Before Papyrus could answer he spied it on the counter top. “Never mind, found it.” It however was different then the one she had picked out for Frisk, “Do you know how she used it?”

“SHE HAD PLACED IT IN HER MOU-.” His brother trailed off. Sans assumed Frisk was nearby. “BROTHER, FRISK ASKS WHEN YOU WILL COME VISIT.”

“Tell them I'll be around this weekend. I'm going to fix up the food. Thanks.” He said as Papyrus said his goodbye as well.

He popped the lid off the can and poured the contents into a bowl. From the other room Sans heard her move on the couch. He ignored it for a moment and put the bowl in the microwave and set the timer for a minute and a half. He turned to rinse the thermometer before walking back over to her on the couch. He leaned over next to her head which ended up startling her sightly. He gave her a smile as she settled down to watch him. This time it actually felt she was looking at him.

“I need you to use this.” Sans handed her the thermometer and watched her expression change. He didn't know why, but it was amusing watching her. She stared at it for a moment before looking back up at him. He tapped his mouth and she looked at it again. Somewhere along the lines it finally clicked and she managed to get it into her mouth correctly. He reached over and pressed the button for her and he go back up to go get her soup. The microwave beeped once he entered the kitchen. He grabbed a spoon and went back to the couch.

Sans set the bowl down in time for the device in her mouth to beep. She doesn't even seem to notice as he gently pulled it from her to read what it had to say. He sighed at the numbers and tossed it onto the table near the soup bowl. He picked it up the food gently and held it in his hands. Her fever was pretty high.

“Are you hungry?” Sans smiled as her gaze fell to the bowl in his hands. She didn't reply with words, but he could hear her stomach growl. He laughed lightly and held the bowl over her. “Can you hold it?” He thought again as he eyed her arm in the sling, “Ah, never mind.” He shifted himself to face her and dipped the spoon into the bowl. “Here,” He placed the spoon close to her mouth and winked, “I promise it's _souperb_.” He laughed at it more himself, he knew that one had to be one of his worse yet.

She slowly brought her hand up and her skin brushed against Sans finger bones. She didn't seem to had heard his joke. He twitched his fingers slightly as she finally was able to hold the spoon. It shook slightly, spilling some of the contents on her shirt before she was able to get it to her mouth. He laughed when he saw her face light up. She smile as she took the spoon back and went for another bite.

**~ * ~**

Sans sat there for a short while before she grew too tired to eat any more. He wished she would have had more, but he was happy she had eaten a little bit at least.. She sat there smiling all the time eating, she didn't seem to be looking at anything in particular, but what ever it was made him happy. He felt the small tug on his jacket and he looked down to see her left hand holding the fabric. This seemed to be her new habit. She was shivering again. He reached over his head with his other arm and pulled the blanket he had placed there earlier into his lap. Sans lifted the blanket to grab her attention.

“Let me put this over you. You need to get better before tomorrow.” He pulled his arm away, chuckling softly at her expression as he had forced her to let go of his jacket for the third time that evening. His hand brushed against her chin as he tucked the blanket around her shoulders. As he was straightening the blanket he felt her small fingers wrap around his. He watched her as she pulled his hand to her cheek and smiled. She gently pressed her face to it and sigh.

“It's warm...” She mumbled and smiled happily, holding tightly onto his hand.

A faint blue tint crept across Sans' cheekbones as he watched her.

“Hey now, you're going to give me the wrong kind of idea kid.” Sans laughed as he scratched the back of his head with his free hand. He couldn't help but smile as he saw the softness in her smile. “ Knock yourself out, but don't let me catch you calling me _handsy_ later.” She finally giggled. He sighed as he leaned back on the couch.

Sans remembered seeing some cold and flu tablets on the kitchen counter near the thermometer and this time he knew he couldn't get up. He smiled and decided that using a bit more magic today was fine. Moments later the cold and flu tablets and a drink were in his free hand. Sans set the water down next to him and looked back over to his roommate. “You're not going to like it, but I need my hand.” He reluctantly and slowly tugged his hand back. She let his hand go and pulled the covers tightly up to her chin.

Sans took this time to open the tablets and offer them to her. It took her a minute to realize what was going on, but eventually she took the tablets. “Take those and you'll start to feel better.” She swallowed them quickly and took the open water when offered. Sans took the water bottle back and reached over to grab the pillow to prop up behind her. “Just rest. I'm not going anywhere.” Sans grabbed the remote and held it in his hand.

In the distance, Sans could hear the growing sound of sirens. He had remembered the weather and that it had started to sleet earlier. There must have been an accident somewhere. He didn't think much of it until he felt her squeezing his hand tightly. It seems like she had found it again quickly. He turned his head to look at her. His smile shifted quickly to concern as she shook violently.

“ _Help me...”_

“Hey, what's wrong?” Sans asked as he shifted to sit on his knees in front of her. She was all smiles a little bit ago, but now her face was pale and her eyes tightly shut. He placed his other hand on the couch in front of him to steady himself, dropping the remote to the floor.

“ _Help me...someone...”_

She wasn't looking at him anymore. She shook harder as the sirens outside grew louder.

“ _It hurts....stop...stop it!”_

“Hey, I'm right here ____,” Sans said as he tried to comfort her. “Tell me what's wrong.”

She let go of his hand and tightly gripped her right shoulder. Sans took his hand from the couch and placed it over her hand, gently rubbing circles onto the top of her hand. “Hey, I'm right here, tell me what's wrong.”

She coughed and whined as Sans noticed her knuckles turning white, she was gripping her shoulder tightly.

“ _Please...make it stop...”_

Sans pulled her tightly into a hug, “Hey, shhh. I'm right here.” He slowly began to pet her hair and moved his left arm around her to gently rub her back. “Just tell me how to help you.” He didn't understand what was going on. The room was filled with the lights of the passing emergency vehicle and the sirens slowly began to fade. She sobbed harder into his chest. He continued to rub her back in small circles, keeping an eye on her soul, it was dimming rapidly. He did take comfort in the fact that if a human's soul faded out they, unlike a monsters, wouldn't just turn to dust. As the sirens faded into the distance she slowly settled in his arms, but her dimming soul continued to worry him. His own heart sank when she spoke softly into his chest.

“ _No one came...”_

She cried softly, the only shaking she did was from the cold now. Sans sighed but still held onto her, “I'm right here kid. I'm not going anywhere.” He searched his thoughts, what happened, she was just fine a few minutes ago. Once the sirens...

_Sirens?_

He thought on it for a moment, but it clicked finally that something about the emergency vehicle had set something off. She had started to calm down when they sirens died down. Maybe a memory? An accident? Something had upset her. He couldn't do anything to help, to assure her in that time to let her know she was okay. It frustrated him.

He leaned back, pulling her to lean on his chest as he made himself comfortable against the arm of the couch. He pulled the covers up slightly to keep her warm before continuing to rub her back. Her hand at some point had let go of her shoulder and it now grasped at the fabric of his jacket. Slowly, her soul began to brighten once again and Sans let out a soft sight of relief. She had started to bury the left side of her face into his jacket and it was apparently she had finally fallen asleep What ever she went though must have exhausted her remaining strength. She looked extremely calm in her sleep.

“You're something kid.” He whispered and gently played with her hair. He moved the stray hairs away from her face and studied her. This was the first time he had gotten a good look at her since he met her. He brought his hand up from her back to lightly her chin. He gently rubbed his thumb over her cheek. It felt different from the top of her hand. When she held onto his hand earlier, he could feel the smooth skin of her palm rub against his fingers. It was an odd sensation, much different than when Frisk would hold his hand.

Sans had met a few humans, they all looked pretty similar to him. Monsters, after all, came in many shapes and sizes. Sure, she looked different, he noticed it right away, but he also noticed how she hid it. He noticed how she kept her face hidden and how she turned to look at people, but what bothered him most was how others looked and whispered.

He studied her face and traced the smooth lines of her scars, she didn't stir below his touch, but soft breaths of air escaped her parted lips. He grew frustrated as he recalled the night they met. She was kind enough to help him find something to help Frisk. The first thing you noticed was her soul then as well. It was so very dim. There was something hidden behind her expression. Fear, pain? Something was there, but that wasn't important then.

There were a few other people in the store, and when then went outside he recalled the clerk mentioning something to her co-worker about the “poor dear”, referencing ____. He didn't think much of it then. Even Frisk seemed to notice the marks on her face first. They had wanted to ask if she was okay. Frisk wasn't one to comment on appearances, but they had noticed what he did. The conversation the two had confirmed it. Frisk, even though they were young could somehow sense others souls. I mean, how else could they befriend all of Underground. Sans chuckled at this though.

His amusement changed slowly changed as he remembered the cafe. It surprised him and put him a little off guard when he walked into the cafe. He had seen a lot of jerks on the surface, there didn't seem to be any shortage of them by any means. Monsters didn't torment their own kind, but humans seemed to always find faults and poke at them. Again, it was superficial. It angered him as he stood there and watched that asshole pull and twist her arm. She was terrified when he mentioned her scars. There friends had been whispering about how disgusted they were. Why did someone's look matter so much? No matter the reason, Sans could see the way if affected her. For what ever reason, she hated her scars. She hated when people commented on them, she actively tried to hide them. It made no sense.

All that mattered was her soul. When she worked on something she was passionate about, it showed brighter than ever before. His phone couldn't capture it, but the day he took the picture of her drawing on the couch, her soul was as bright as he had ever seen it. That was a much better look compared to the dull glow it normally had. Sans wanted to protect it, protect her.

He took his hand away from her cheek and reached down to the floor next to the couch, his hand searching for the remote. “Looks like I'm not going to be moving for a while.” He chuckled softly as he flipped the TV on and searched for something to watch.

**~ * ~**

The faint murmur of the television stirred you. When did you fall asleep? You were groggy, and it took you a moment to realize you were in your living room. It was dark, but the room was softly lit by the light of the television. He moved slightly, wanting to sit up. You were laying on something hard, but comforting, you didn't know what it was. You pressed against it and jumped when you heard a familiar grunt.

“Hey kid, careful, don't want to crack a rib.” Sans chuckled as he placed his hands on your shoulders and helped you up.

Your cheeks flushed, you had been sleeping on Sans.

“I-I-I'm s-so-sorry!” You stammered quickly and stumbled back onto the couch. You probably would have fallen completely off the couch if it wasn't for Sans steadying you.

“Hey it's alright.” He laughed as you finally settled yourself. “Are you feeling any better?” Sans asked as he leaned against the arm of the couch. You thought about it for a moment and nodded. You could feel your face was warm, but not sure if was due to you being sick or just embarrassed. It was probably both.

“Yeah, I must have passed out when I got home.” Your eyes scanned the room and stopped at the half eaten bowl of soup, medicine, and thermometer on the coffee table. “What's this?” You asked softly, trying to get your mind off of the situation you found yourself in.

“You had a pretty high fever earlier. Looks like you don't remember.” Sans smiled wider. Something about that made you uneasy.

“I hope I wasn't bothering you...I-I'm sorry. I hope I didn't hurt you!” You stammered and reached for the thermometer. “Wh-what time is it?”

Sans pulled his phone from his pocket and glanced at the display. “It's a little after midnight.” He motioned to the tablets, “You took a few a couple hours, probably don't need anymore tonight.” You gave him a small nod, your head still felt fuzzy while you sighed. “Also you didn't hurt me, you're actually pretty light.”

You blushed and rubbed your hand over your prosthetic. It was thankfully still intact. You needed to be a bit more careful if you wanted it to last.

“Thank you...for making food and the medicine.” You smiled and placed the thermometer into your mouth. You held it there and let the device read your temperature. Sans laid there watching you, he must have been curious as well. It beeped and removed it to look at the numbers. You smiled, “My fever is gone...”

“That's great,” Sans said with a yawn. He must have been keeping an eye on you for a while.

“Th-thank you...thank you again...” You smiled, you don't know what happened while you were out of it, but it was comforting to know you had someone there. It was a new, strange feeling, one you would like to get used to. You slowly stood up, letting the blanket you hadn't noticed until now, fall back onto the couch where you sat.

“Don't worry about it, just get some rest and take it easy,” Sans said as he propped his head up on his hand.

“I'll go take my other medicine...” You said softly while he gave you another nod.

Sans closed his eyes and relaxed a bit, “What time do you need to head over to the University in the morning?”

You had almost forgotten that today you needed to hand in your storyboard. You had finished it the other day, only one more day.

“I need to be there around ten. I need to present and turn in my project.” You give him a small smile, “I can't miss it...”

Sans nodded, “I know, just tomorrow and you're off until the new semester?”

Again you nod. “The new semester starts in the middle of January, so all I have is personal projects and my job at the library.”

Sans nodded again, he seemed to be nodding off. “I'll take you in the morning.”

“You don't need to. I'll...I'll be fine.” You said softly.

“I insist,” Sans said with a yawn, and before you could protest a soft snore filled the room. You smiled as you pulled the blanket that had been wrapped around you over him. Even though you still ached, you were happy.

“Thank you.” You whispered again as you tucked the blankets around him. He mumbled something you couldn't understand and you flipped the TV off. You would clean up in the morning. You smiled happily to yourself as you walked towards your bedroom to get ready to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, sorry I know, I said I was going to cover the holiday, but I wanted to balance some of the feels. This is the start of the roller coaster, and I promise not to let you all down. I'm not going to go promise the time frame of what the next chapter will cover, but the holiday is the focus.
> 
> I am coming down with a terrible cold, and right now I can't even think of what to write here. The only thing that comes to mind is a question a friend of mine asked "Isn't this a Reader/Sans fic? Where's the romance?"
> 
> My answer? I hate instant romance. So far the event have been stretched across one week. I see Sans as a guarded individual, I can't see him instantly falling head over heals for someone. When it comes time for the romance to take place, it's not going to feel convenient. With that being said, I don't think I'm going to write smut for this fic either. If you want smut, you'll need to wait for another story.
> 
> With that being said, I have another story in the works in my head, and I am keeping myself from starting it because I know I cannot manage my time enough to have two separate chapters come out for two different stories at a reasonable time, when this story comes to an end, which right now I don't have planned out how this will end, there's a lot to cover, I mean, we need to find the romance first, but once I am near the end of this fic, I will announce it. Between now and then I will also have finished the genocide route of the game. 
> 
> With that all said above, I wanted to thank you all again for reading and enjoying this so far. I know this sounds like a broken record, but thank you! It really means the world to me you are all enjoying it. I'm going to go pass out and plan out the next chapter.
> 
> Still learning the website, but if you have questions or ideas feel free to check out my tumblr:
> 
> http://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	6. Story Corner

****Thursday morning came and went so quickly that most of it was a blur. Sans kept his word and he accompanied you to the University that morning. Your project seemed to go over well, your presentation, however, went as poorly as you'd expected. You were confident enough that your grade was still high enough that it wouldn't ruin you GPA.

You had let out a sigh of relief, your semester was finally over and all you had left to do was fill out the paperwork for another student lone.

“That didn't take you long,” Sans spoken from suddenly behind you.

It startled you so bad you slipped, “S-Sans?!” You managed to squeak out as your foot slid out from under you. You thought you would hit the ground. Your bag hit the snow covered ground with a loud thud, but you didn't.

“Hey, careful now. I didn't mean to trip you up.” You couldn't see it, but he was grinning, he had also wrapped his arm around your waist to keep you standing.

It took a moment for what exactly happened, but you shook it off and quickly stood up. “Th-thank you!” You stammered and straightened your coat. Once that was settled and you made sure your hat was still straight, you turned to give Sans a confused glance, “What are you still doing here?”

“You didn't take my offer up on hot sandwiches yesterday, so figured I'd see if you wanted to today.” Sans slid his hand back into his jacket and rocked back on his feet.

You recalled his text and let a small laugh escape, “Alright...but I need to go to the library, so I'll eat it later.”

Sans nodded and started to walk off towards the main street after picking up your bag. Whenever the two of you went anywhere, he refused to let you carry any of your bags. It came to your surprise as you walked towards the parking lot to see Papyrus sitting in his car waiting for you. In the front seat you could see, who you think their name was Frisk, also sitting with him. You offered up a small wave and smile and got into the back seat of the car. You pulled the seat belt on and were enthusiastically greeted by Frisk, who was signing something you couldn't understand.

“Hello...” You said slowly and turned to Sans as he sat in the other seat behind Papyrus. Sans looked forward to Frisk who had now practically climbed over into the back to sit between you and Sans.

“Hey kid, you and Pap have a good time?” Sans asked as he ruffled their hair. Sans smiled as he looked up to you, “Frisk was telling you thank you and that they got better because of the medicine you suggested.”

You smiled as you looked down to be greeted by a giant smile. Frisk was adorable. You absolutely adored children. “I'm glad to hear you are feeling better.” It was sudden, but Frisk wrapped their tiny arms around you and gave you a tight hug. It startled you a second, but laughed lightly afterwards.

_They can't feel my arm through my coat._

“Hey, buddy, careful now,” Sans said as he ruffled their hair again and grabbed the seat belt.

Papyrus had turned around in his seat as well as he waited patiently for the three of you to settle.

“ARTISTIC HUMAN! I HOPE YOUR PROJECT WENT WELL!” Excited...or happy was an understatement. Papyrus was wound up and his volume in the tiny car unsettled you slightly, but you nervously laughed and leaned back in your seat.

“Y-yeah...everything went fine.” You give him a smile as he settles himself back in and starts the car.

“SANS! WHERE IS THIS SANDWICH SHOP YOU INSISTED WE GO TO?” Paps said as he adjusted the mirror to look at his brother.

Sans sat back and smiled, “It's about a 10-minute drive from here. Just take the main street and I'll tell you when to turn.”

“10 minutes?” You spoke allowed before you realized it. You looked away from the embarrassed.

“Is that going to be a problem?” Sans asked.

You sighed softly and nodded, “It might be. I don't want to rush you guys.”

Out of the corner or your eye you could see Frisk trying to get your attention. You look back and smile, letting them know they had your attention.

Frisk smiled and began to sign again. You hoped that either Papyrus or Sans was watching, you really didn't know how to read sign language.

“The kid asks if you want to eat someplace closer?” Sans paused, “You working late at the library?”

You shook your head, “You can just drop me off. I don't have a scheduled shift, but I needed to talk to Ally and read for...the...children...” Your voice had trailed off as you noticed everyone had their attention directed to you.

Papyrus adjusted his mirror to look at you a bit better, “READ TO CHILDREN?”

A light blush rose in your cheeks as you nod, “It's something...I like to do...” You went to look out the window on your right again but was pulled back to look at an excited Frisk. They were tugging on your arm gently with a giant smile on their face.

“I think they want to listen,” Sans added.

“BROTHER, CAN WE LISTEN TO ____ READ A STORY?” Papyrus had turned to look at Sans, his pleading face begging his smaller brother.

Sans couldn't say no and nodded, “Alright, what kind of brother would I be to say no?”

You smiled as Frisk hugged your arm tightly. You nudged them lightly and they returned your arm, which you then used to wrap around their tiny waist and hug them gently.

Upon entering the library, the comforting warmth and familiar must of the old books welcomed you. You smiled as you could hear the children in the back of the library giggling and chatting. It wasn't uncommon this time of year for parents to leave their children at the library as they finished up their holiday shopping, and this was the last Thursday before that.

You loved these days. You loved reading to the children, and you would very much love to one day be reading your very own story to them. You had hurried off from the skeleton brothers before either of them could help with your coat. You pulled off your coat quickly and bent down to pull a small brown box from under your desk and open it. Inside was a small light blue cloak with a hood, a collapsible stand, and clips to help keep the pages open for the books. You didn't even hear your boss walk up behind you.

“I'm glad to see you're doing much better today Miss ____.” She said softly. You jumped and went to stand, hitting your the back of your head on your desk.

“Ow!” You said sharply and rubbed the back of your head. You could hear your boss chuckling softly. You couldn't help but smile and turned to stand to face her properly. “I'm okay today. I'm sorry to have worried you...” Your voice trailed off. Your smile faltered, you had been forced to leave your shift on Tuesday early due to your breakdown. Your guilt subsided with the small chuckle.

“Do not apologize, I am glad you are feeling better.” She slowly turned to look down the isle where the children, and now Sans, Papyrus, and Frisk stood. Papyrus and Frisk laughing as the other children had surrounded them. “It seems your new friends are getting along well with the children.” She smiled and turned back to face you, “The one who came for you the other day,” She paused, “I was worried I had made a mistake when he showed up.”

This statement caught you off guard, “Ally?”

She chuckled, “Oh hun it's not what you're probably thinking.” She paused and gave you a gentle smile, “I've known you since you entered the University. I'm correct to assume that I know more about you then he does?”

You nodded, not sure where her line of questioning was going. It was true, however, that she was one of the few people besides your doctors who knew anything about you. When you were still going to a therapist, he had insisted that you inform your employer about your breakdowns in case you had them while working, and many breakdowns you have had.

The two of you would sit in the back away from everyone. If you needed to cry you could, if you wanted to talk, you would, and if you just wanted to sit in silence, she sat with you. She told you at some point that you reminded her of her sister. She never told you much, but she explained that her sister had many episodes and that having someone where always seemed to help. It was true, you didn't want to be alone. It kept your dark thoughts at bay.

“He had no clue what was going on.” Ally, your boss, spoke up once again. “I was happy that you had a friend, but I was afraid he would leave you alone.” She leaned back against the desk and sighed, “But I was wrong.” You could see a softer smile now, one that conveyed her content, “I saw him sit with you in the park.”

You blushed, “I...I know you told me to go home...” You stammered, your cheeks bright read, “I just....could not...” You said softly. “He...he knows a little more now...”

She nodded, “I wont pry dear, but know that I am here for you if you need me.” She paused as the children in the background grew a bit more nosier, “I think it's about time for you. You know how the children get.”

You nod happily and grabbed the side of the box and pulled it to the chair. “I'll be right there, thank you, Ally.”

Ally was the closest to a motherly figure you had in your life. She always fussed with you, and had offered you an actual position at the Library after you had volunteered to read at the library a few years ago. You trusted her, but you would feel guilty if you were to burden her with your problems.

Ally chuckled again, “Why don't we have you friend help you?”

You looked up from you box and gave her a confused look, “Help?” Before you could say anything, she was waving over one of your friends. It didn't come to your surprise as you saw Sans leave Papyrus and Frisk to approach the main desk.

You gave him a small wave and looked over towards your boss, who was leaning over the desk to examine Sans a bit better.

“Sorry if my brother is a bit loud,” Sans laughed lightly, “He loves kids, being a big one at heart.”

“You are just fine.” She said softly. “I was going to ask if you would like to help ____ with reading to the children. She has a bit of trouble holding the book and showing the pictures to the children.” She chuckled as you rubbed your arm subconsciously.

“That seems fine.” Sans replied giving you his normal smile, “I read to Paps every night, a few more shouldn't be any trouble.”

So Papyrus really loved stories, you never thought about it, but the night the two had moved in Papyrus was looking for a “story book”. You chuckled at your realization that is what the two would do every night before Papyrus had went to bed. It made total sense now.

You quickly turned and grabbed the light blue cloak and pulled it over your head. There were no sleeves, and you had tied a tight knot in the top by the neck so you wouldn't need help with it. You adjusted the hood and turned back to face Sans.

“I'm ready.” You smiled and pulled the hood down to cover the right side of your face.

“What's with the getup?” He asked, raising an eyebrow...bone...at you.

You gave him smile and a small spin, “To not scare the children.”

“We're telling ghost stories?” Sans asked slowly.

“No.” You lightly laughed, “It's a normal children story.”

Sans looked towards Ally, giving her the same questioning glance as he gave you before returning his gaze to you. “What would scare the children then?”

Ally chuckled as she handed the book over to Sans. “Keep an eye on her for me.” She left him a bit more confused than he already was.

**~ * ~**

As the two of you approached the group, the children cheered and ran to encircle her.

“Miss ____! Miss ____! What story are you reading us today?” Several children had latched around her waist, giggling and laughing, all eager for her to get there.

Sans had stood back and watched her interact with the small children. She was so very confusing to him. He smiled brightly, though, today her soul was shining the brightest he had ever seen it. He was happy to see her like this, and he wanted it to stay that way.

“Sans?” Her voice brought him out of his thoughts.

“Yeah, sorry,” Sans smiled as he walked over to take the seat she offered.

“Can you pick out a story to read?” She had asked him pointing to the book in his hands.

Sans flipped through through the book and stopped at the first story that looked interesting. “This one okay?” He asked.

She smiled and nodded, “Now children, have any of you heard the story about the Invisible Alligators?”

The children cheered and answered no.

She laughed softly and turned to position the book. She looked over the story and chuckled.

“Sans, could you hold the book out for them to see, I'll read it.” She asked sweetly. He couldn't say no.

“Sure.” He said and turned the book around to show the story art of a small blue alligator.

“Invisible Alligators, by Hayes Roberts...” She began as Sans turned to the next page.

She was very active when telling the story. Acting out sounds and the small things that weren't written in the text.

She yawned and stretched before she started, “A young monkey named Sari woke up one morning and knew there was trouble...”

**~ * ~**

“The Brave Monkey Pirate was now immune to scurvy and some other stuff.” You paused as Sans flipped to the last page of the story, “And he had ice cream on the way home, the end.” You said as you rubbed your stomach lightly.

The children whined with the conclusion of the last story.

“Now now, there will be more stories next month. Your parents will be here soon.” You said softly as you knelt down to be at eye-level with one of the little girls.

Papyrus, who had been holding Frisk leaned in, amazed at how you told your stories.

“WOWWIE HUMAN!” He exclaimed, the children giggling and rushing over to you. One of the boys had tripped on his untied shoelaces and fell into you, knocked your right side pretty hard. It took the wind out of you and a sharp pain stabbed into you once again. You sucked in air quickly, your hood falling back as you fell back onto your rear end.

“I'm sorry Miss ___-WHOA!” The child had recovered quickly and stood up, staring at you with curiosity.

The little girl you had been talking to gasped and covered her mouth.

It took you a moment to realize they were looking at you, but you opened your eyes to be met with a scared and curious expression. The girl took a few steps back away from you and you realized your hood had been pulled back, revealing the scarred face to the girl, and the boy in front of you. You bit your lower lip and quickly grabbed your hood and pulled it back and covered your face hastily.

“Whoa! Miss ____ what happened to your face!” The boy was eager as he dropped to his knees to try and look under your hood once again.

Your face was losing color and you managed to put on a small smile, despite the pain that stabbed violently into your right side. Sans had gotten off his chair and you could feel his hand on your left shoulder.

“You okay?” He asked after seeing your fall. You ignored him for now and looked towards the girl.

“It's okay sweetie.” Your smile twitched, fighting the biting pain. “See? All better.” You laughed softly as her expression slowly changed from fear to concern.

“Miss ____!” The boy was demanding your attention.

You turned to him and gave him a smile, “You shouldn't run. You may hurt someone.” Your voice was shaking slightly as your breaths became shorter and sharper.

A taller woman had walked over and picked up the small boy. “I'm sorry!” She explained, “You weren't hurt were you?” You looked up at the woman, assuming she was their mother and held your hood tightly against your face. “

“No-No...” You paused, you didn't want to tell her the truth, “I'm alright it was just-”

“Momma! Momma! Her face!” He repeated loudly.

You held your breath as Sans help pull you to your feet.

“Shawn!” She hushed her child, “That's rude!” She said, her face turning red from embarrassment. She said her goodbye and left quickly.

You felt like you were going to be sick. “I-I'll be right back...” You said quickly as you quickly ran off towards the bathroom.

Sans stood there, unsure what to do or say. He rubbed the back of his skull and looked towards Papyrus and Frisk who he could tell were upset. Papyrus' eyes met Sans as we stood up, holding Frisk in his arms. Frisk began to sign something and Sans watched for a moment.

_**Is she okay?** _

“I don't know kiddo. I'll go check on her.” Sans said as he went to go follow after you. He was stopped when your boss approached him.

“What happened?” She asked with a concerned expression.

“A kid tripped into her and she fell,” Sans replied as he turned back to look at his brother and Frisk. The two nodded and watched the direction you had run off into.

She sighed, “Is that all?”

You didn't have to answer, you could hear a few of the children's mothers whispering to one another.

_"Why do they let her tell stories again?"_

_"She will only scare the children."_

_"Look at Janet's child? Poor thing didn't need to see that..."_

Sans didn't quite understand what they were complaining about, but it had to do with you, and it left a sour taste in his mouth.

Ally sighed, “I see...” She paused and turned back towards the desk. “I'll grab her things. Will you take her home?”

He nodded and looked back and Papyrus and Frisk. “Let's get ready to go.”

Papyrus gave Sans a concerned look but nodded. “Can you grab her coat and start the car, we'll be out in a minute.” Sans walked off in the direction you ran earlier. Turning the corner he could hear the retching sound you were making in the bathroom. He stood outside the door and waved to Papyrus he and Frisk walked out to the car.

Ally had approached him as the two left. Her question answered when another round of your retching could be heard. She sighed and gave Sans a sad look. “Does she carry pain medicine in her bag?”

He didn't know, Sans shrugged, “Not sure. She may have something in her bag.”

“Your...brother?” She paused and Sans nodded, “Your brother took her coat and back to the car. She will probably need to take something when she settles.” Sans gave her a confused look, not sure what she was talking about. “What has she told you, about herself?”

Sans didn't expect this question, “I guess not much? We've not known each other very long.” He questioned, not knowing where this would lead.

“She's not told you about her _accident_ then?” She said softly.

Sans shook his head, “She hasn't said anything about an accident...why?”

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, “It is not my place to tell you the details, but when she gets home she will need to take something.”

The door opened to the restroom and you walked out slowly, holding your right elbow. You stopped when you saw the two standing there.

“I'm okay...” You said weakly.

_Liar..._

You let out a soft sigh and smiled. You didn't want to worry them.

“Go home ____,” Ally said sharply. It made you jump.

“Al-alright.” You said weakly, you didn't argue with her as she moved to let you and Sans pass. “My co-coat?”

“Papyrus has it in the car, let's go,” Sans said as he studied you. You weren't sure what he was looking at, but it unnerved you. “I-I'm fine Sans!”

He gave you a soft laugh, “You're a terrible liar kid.”

You knew you couldn't hide your pain this time from Sans. You laugh softly, “I'll be fine.” He gave you another nod and removed his jacket to wrap around your shoulders. It was warm. “What about you?” You asked as he opened the front door for you. You were met with the chill of the wind instantly, the stabbing pain dulled slightly, a wave of relief came over you. You stopped for a moment and took a deep breath.

“____?” Sans asked watching you.

“Yeah...just felt good...” You said quietly before biting your lip. “Sans I'll be fine...”

“Are you really?” The question stopped you from taking a step. You thought for a moment. You shook your head and looked at him with a gentle smile.

“It's not going to be like the other night...I promise. I just...I just...hurt...” This was the best way to describe it.

“Is that all?” He gently, you knew what he was talking about.

“You mean...the children?” Your voice grew quiet as you took a few more steps out onto the sidewalk. The sky above was gray as you turned your head to look up at it. Snow was already starting to fall again. “Children don't know Sans...

“Neither do I...” Sans mumbled, you couldn't quite understand him.

“I didn't hear...what was that?” You turned your head back down to look at him.

“Nothing...” Sans said with a sigh. “If you say you'll be fine I'll trust you, but you have what you need at home? I mean...medicine?”

“Medicine?” Your voice cracked, he noticed and nodded. “Wha...”

“Your boss said to have you take something...she wanted to know if you had anything in your bag with you, but Papyrus had taken it to the car already.” Sans looked up at you, studying your reaction.

“Wh-what did she tell you?” Your heart had dropped, the pain furthers from your current thought.

“She mentioned an accident, and no, I don't know accident she's talking about.” He said you could hear the frustration in his voice.

“I'm sorry...” You said softly, that's all you ever knew what to say. You sighed and just barely spoke above a whisper, “Please don't worry about it...I'll...I'll explain a little when we get home...” Sans seemed to accept this answer and offered you his hand.

“Come on, we can't have you getting sick again.” He said offering you a half-hearted smile. You slowly let go of your elbow and reached out. Your hand hesitated slightly and he looked away.

“Sorry...I forgot...not keen on-” He stopped as you suddenly grabbed his hand. You squeezed it tightly and bit your lip.

“Could...could you walk slowly?” You asked, your legs shook as you held your breath. Another stabbing pain shooting through you.

He laughed light and nodded. He let you catch up and the two of you walked to the car.

**~ * ~**

Sans had Papyrus take Frisk home and told him to pick up something to bring home on his way home. Papyrus wanted to stay and make sure you were okay, but Sans assured him that you would be here when he got back.

It didn't take Sans long to send his brother off and turn to take his jacket back. He watched you for a moment as you kicked off your shoes.

“I'll be back in a moment...” You said quietly and walked towards your room. Sans didn't follow, and you were thankfully for that.

You closed the door behind you and ran your fingers under your shirt to trace the harness. You sighed in relief, everything was fine. You looked towards the night stand and saw the small white bag with your prescription from Dr. Harson. This seemed like a good day to take them. You sighed as you sat at your bed and forced open the bottle. You tipped it onto your bed after removing the cotton and sighed. They were big. He did say to take one, you'd be eating soon and everything should feel better. You swallowed it and grimaced. It tasted horrible, but you chased it with water quickly.

Sans was waiting for you, you knew that. What would you tell him? What could you tell him? He said _accident_ , but that didn't seem like the right kind of word to use. You weren't ready to talk about it...not yet, but your promised you would tell him something. You didn't have to lie. You took a deep breath and slowly stood up to walk back to the living room.

Sans looked up at the sound of your door closing again. He studied you as you slowly approached him and took a seat on the opposite side of the couch. He watched you for a few minutes, and your hand grabbed onto your elbow once again. Another sharp intake of breath hissed and you closed your eyes tight.

_You have to say something..._

You sighed and opened your eyes to stare at your feet. “I...I can't say much...not yet...” You started slowly. “I have medicine to manage...” You searched for the right words to use. “Manage the pain...It's nothing to worry about.” You managed a smile and looked up to meet his gaze. He was annoyed, but he nodded slowly, “I...was not expecting this today.” You lightly laughed and looked away. You just told him a whole lot of nothing.

He sat there watching you, “So medicine for pain and for the head.” He paused, “Anything else I need to know?

You held your breath but you were saved with the sound of the front door slamming open.

“I HAVE RETURNED!” Papyrus shouted as he closed the door behind him. “I BROUGHT A PIZZA!”

You sighed as you quickly jumped to your feet and walked around the couch, ignoring Sans' glare.

“Oh, human?” He had lowered his tone at the sight of you, “Are you feeling better?”

You gave him a slow nod and rubbed your elbow, “My medicine will work soon. I'll be fine.”

Sans sat quietly on the couch, she was hiding something. It bothered him. It didn't upset him that you were taking medicine for pain, but he was tired of finding information out indirectly. Why couldn't you be forward about it?

“Sans?” Papyrus called from the kitchen.

“Coming bro.” He called and slowly stood, replacing his frustrated expression with a smile.

**~ * ~**

The medicine had worked faster then you expected. You sat there picking at your slice of pizza. It wasn't late, but you were ready to fall asleep. You excused yourself from the table and slowly walked down the hall, giving the two another smile and bade them goodnight

 

You locked your door behind you as you collapsed onto your bed. You were too sleepy to remove your harness, and at the moment you didn't care. You giggle softly into your pillow and buried your face into the pillow. The pain it was gone. There was no tingling, no stabbing pain....just...nothing. You closed your eyes and let sleep take you.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My power went out today, so I lost a lot of progress on this chapter. I'm planning to try and release a chapter once ever 2 days and keep to that schedule. As for the Holiday...I'll let it happen when it happens. It's getting there. The next chapter is the one I've been trying to get to for so long, I'm happy to begin to sit down and write it.
> 
> Happy New Years all. I'm going to go pass out with cold medicine and curl up in my down blanket. Thank you for all the well wishing, I appreciate it. Sorry Sans is a bit grumpy this chapter, but him and I both are getting frustrated with the "Reader".
> 
> Stories referenced during story hour:
> 
> Invisible Alligators  
> http://www.magickeys.com/books/invis-allig/index.html#pictop
> 
> The Brave Monkey Pirate  
> http://www.magickeys.com/books/bravemonkey/index.html#pictop
> 
> shameless tumblr plug for updates:  
> http://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	7. Shattered Glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First few paragraphs reference what is called a "burn bath". It's not pretty...it's meant to be squeamish. Will consist of blood and other disturbing depictions of puss and dead skin. You've been warned.
> 
> Adding a warning for Alcohol use in this chapter.

The scent of bleach and blood filled your nose. All you could do was scream and cry. You couldn't move, you didn't want to move, everything caused you, even more, pain. The drain below you swirled sickly red along with pieces of dead skin. You squeezed your eyes shut, shaking. You couldn't stop and each violent shudder just made it that much more painful to swallow.

Murmured voices and the wet, sloppy sounds or whatever else you couldn't discern echoed in the room around you. You couldn't escape, you could hardly bear to lift your head. You wanted to be sick, and you probably already was. Was there anything left? Did you even eat today?  You felt empty.

It didn't matter.

You shut your left eye tightly. You didn't want to see the water anymore. The pain medicine you were given, it didn't help, nothing seemed to help. You were unsure if you were relieved that the pain medicine wasn't another pill. You had so many pills to take. Here though, you wouldn't have stomached them anyway.

The metallic tub echoed the sound of instruments hitting it's walls forced your eyes open. Your stomach rolled again painfully as you continued staring at your feet. You could catch the glimpse of your left hand, the palm seeped a disgusting, fowl, thick liquid under a loose layer of dead white layer of skin. You heaved painfully and hoarsely cried as a gloved hand grabbed your wrist and turned your palm up, pulling it above and placing it on the table. You tried to stop shaking as small tweeters pinched the hanging skin and pulled it away slowly. You shut your eye again and sobbed and heaved again.  Stomach acid burned your throat and tongue.

_Let me die..._

**~ * ~**

You screamed as you opened your eyes and roll off the bed to the floor. You crashed into the nightstand and kicked your legs violently. Your arm tangled somewhere under the covers that were wrapped tightly around your body. You violently twisted and tugged, your breath coming in quick sharp gasps. Your head was swimming as it slowly grasped your reality.

Hearing the sudden loud banging on your door jarred your thoughts and it finally forced your consciousness to look around.

“HUMAN?” Papyrus called from the other side of the door, he had tried to open the door, but you had locked it like every other time before. “____ ARE YOU ALRIGHT? I HEARD SCREAMING?”

It took you a moment to calm down, you laid on the floor and looked up at your ceiling and the side of your bed with blurry eyes.

_I'm in my room..._

“____?” Papyrus's worried voice, nearly panic stricken as he banged on the door.

You slowed your breathing and finally freed your arm, you couldn't speak, your throat was tight.

“SANS SHE Won't ANSWER ME!” Papyrus called to his brother, his voice wavered and he was probably crying.

You pulled the covers that were wrapped around your middle and legs and slowly pulled yourself up to lean over the bed. Your legs were shaky, and you felt heavy. Only then you realized you were still wearing your harness and the sling still held your arm. You cursed under your breath as you took another deep breath and straighten the sling.

“Hey!” You heard another round of banging on your door, but this time, it was Sans, but you could still hear Papyrus in the background. “____! You're scarring Pap, are you okay?” Papyrus wasn't the only scared, you could hear it in his voice as well.

You wanted to respond, but your throat hurt, it burned as you slowly walked towards your bathroom. You stumbled to your sink and closed the door to your bedroom behind you. Lotions and soaps littered the ground, and you could now hear the banging coming from the door to the hall once you turned the water on.

“Hey! Say something!” Sans voice grew more frantic by the moment

You wet your hand and wiped your face.  You still couldn't speak, you thought it was just because of the pain, but something else was stopping you.  You moved your feet slowly and towards the banging, towards Sans and Papyrus' shouts through the hall's bathroom door. You wanted to tell them you were okay.  You forced yourself to step towards the door, but you stopped shortly before it. The lock was in reach, you never used this door, and couldn't remember the last time the lock was undone.  You raised your hand towards the lock and it froze inches away as you stared at it. You eyes drawn to the discolored shade circling the skin between your thumb and index finger.  You turned it slowly to reveal the smooth discolored skin on your palm. No blood, no loose skin, no terrible fluid...just your normal, scared, palm.

You finally cried. Your palm quickly rose to cover your brow. It was just a terrible nightmare, and you were okay. You were safe in your home, you weren't in that horrible room, you weren't in that _hospital_. You leaned your forehead against the door and cried. Your gasps and sobs hoarsely left your throat as you collapsed to your feet.  Your forehead hitting the door again as you settled on the floor echoing a quiet thud against the empty walls behind you. You wanted to open your door, you wanted, **no** , you _needed_ someone. All you had to do was turn the lock, Sans and Papyrus were right there but...

You couldn't...

The banging on the door stopped, and a moment of silence followed. You cried harder. You couldn't move, you couldn't speak, you couldn't see, the room's darkness around you threatened to swallow you whole.

“I'm sorry kid,” Sans voice said softly, “You didn't give me any other choice...” Sans voice trailed off, and the sudden sound of the lock clicking echoed above you and the door quickly flew open. The door opened out into the hall, and before you could turn your face up to see what was going on you felt a pair of slender, bony arms wrap around you and pull you forward. “God kid...” Sans paused as he nervously laughed, “You...you gave us quite a scare...” His voice trailed off as he fell back to sit in the hallway holding you tightly against him.

It took you a moment and your hand grabbed tightly onto his jacket and you buried your face into his shoulder. Your body shook as your sobs choked you. You were jarred suddenly when another pair of arms arms wrapped around you. You didn't need to ask, they belonged to Papyrus.

**~ * ~**

When you had calmed down, the two helped you to the couch to sit while taking a seat each at your sides. They were worried, frustrated, scared...you didn't know what to think. Your hand twitched, you didn't know what to say, you didn't even know where to start. You took in a slow breath and looked at your feet.

“I'm sorry...” You paused, “I'm sorry I...I scared you both...”

Papyrus shifted next to you to look at you better. You felt guilty. Papyrus was always so full of energy and happy, but now he was silent. You were the reason he was like this. His gloved hand gently came to rest on your back and you sucked in your breath of air sharply.

“Hu-..._____, ” Papyrus said softly, you could tell he was searching for his words. His tone was so quiet like he was afraid you'd break if he were to speak at a normal volume. “Do...do not worry.” He paused again, and you could tell he was looking at Sans, “We...we want to know if you are alright?”

You were tired of that question. You were tried of answering that question. It didn't need to be asked, you weren't alright, they could see you weren't alright.

“No...” You said softly, admitting it. There was an uncomfortable silence, you hated the silence. “I...I had a nightmare...I'm...sorry.” You lost your words somewhere along the way. “I...don't want to talk...about it.”

Sans sat by quietly. You avoided his question last night, and you knew you couldn't avoid his today. You were expecting him to say something, but he never did.

You looked up slowly. Papyrus sat to your right, you couldn't see him, but you could feel his weight and his arm. To your left you felt Sans lean back, you could see his blue jacket in the corner of your eye. You didn't want to look at either of them. You were a mess, you needed to change your clothes, take a shower, and take your medicine. You slowly stood up and Papyrus quickly jumped up to your side.

You tried to take a step but you felt a bony hand wrap around you wrist.

“This isn't going to work kid,” Sans said in a low tone.

“Sans...” Papyrus started.

“No Pap...this is getting tiresome.” Sans stood up slowly, keeping a tight grip on your wrist.

“What was that?” He wasn't going to beat around the bush, not today.

All you could do was stare at your feet.

“Let me go, Sans...” You barely spoke above a whisper.

“Not this time. I'm tired of walking on eggshells around you.”

You held your breath, you couldn't do this right now. You didn't want to do this. “Let go...”

“Sans!” Papyrus said firmly as he grabbed his brother's hand and pulled it off of you. It surprised both of you. “Sans...that's not fair.”

What wasn't fair? You didn't understand.

“Papyrus...this is different,” Sans said, his attention directed now towards his brother.

“How many times?” Papyrus at some point walked passed you and stood over, no towered over Sans. You couldn't help but turn to watch. What was going on? Sans stumbled back onto the couch and looked up at his brother.

_Are they fighting?_

“How many times have I asked you about your nightmares and you didn't want to talk about them? It's not fair to make her tell you if she doesn't want to talk about it.” Papyrus had placed his hands on his hips and leaned over Sans at this point.

“Stop it!” You snapped quickly.

The two looked at your back, their arguing had stopped as well.

“Don't fight...” You spoke softly, “I...just...I don't want to remember it...” You paused and slowly turned to look at them. “Just...give me...more time...” You hopped they would, that Sans would accept this. You stood their quietly and turned back to walk towards your bathroom. “I need...to get my mind off of things... Please...” You begged and chocked back fresh tears, “I...I'll tell you soon...just...not yet...not now...”

“Alright, I-” Sans was about to say more until his phone rang. He reached for his phone in his jacket and quickly answered it. “Hello?”

You had already slowly started walking towards your room to start your day with a much-needed shower when you heard Papyrus shout.

“Is that Undyne? Awww why didn't she call me?!” Papyrus' energy had seemed to come back. It made you smile.

“Hold on Pap,” Sans said as he turned away from Papyrus to listen to Undyne, or whoever was on the other line. “Yeah...Pap's pretty excited.” He paused and sighed, “No...I haven't yet.” Another long pause, “I don't think she'd be up for it tonight.”

“You didn't ask ____ yet?” Papyrus seemed to know what they were talking about and you stopped when you heard your name.

“Ask...ask me what?” You turned to look back at the two brothers.

Sans sighed and pulled the phone away from his ear, “We were going to go to Grillby's tonight with a few friends, and they wanted to meet you.”

Papyrus ran over to you and took your hand in his, and gave you his best impression of puppy dog eyes. You chuckled softly.  How could you say no to that face?

“Maybe it would take my mind off of things...but I'd understand if I might not be welcomed now...” You were unsure, despite Papyrus' pleading eyes.

Sans sighed and waved his hand dismissively, “There wouldn't be a point in saying they wanted to meet you if you weren't welcomed- Yeah...I'm still here Undyne.” Sans said as he returned to listen to his friend on the phone.

You looked up at Papyrus and gave him a weak smile, “I...I'll go.”

Papyrus would have probably wrapped his arms tightly around you, but he didn't. He hesitated and instead let go of your hand and placed his gloved hands on your shoulders.

“Are you doing better human?” Your guilty expression must have startled him slightly, “No-No! I do not mean this morning...I mean last night.” He paused and looked back to see if Sans was listening. “Brother said you were hurt...did that happen when the tiny human ran into you?” His voice was so soft. You didn't want to see Papyrus like this. Your small arm looped around his back. You hugged him lightly.

“The kid didn't hurt me Paps.” You looked up at him and offered him a genuine smile, “I'll explain everything...just not today. Just...just don't worry about it...okay?” You let him go as he gave you a small nod. You could see he was forcing a smile. You pat his arm gently, “I need to take my medicine, I'll be fine Paps...really. This is normal...”

He stood up and wrung his hands slowly, “Why does it have to be normal?”

You weren't sure if he was truly asking you, or himself. It stung...constant pain...it wasn't normal. Not to him at least. You didn't want it to be normal, but it was. You've been familiar with it most of your life.

“I'm strong Paps...I can handle it.” You laughed lightly, you wanted his true smile to return. It was breaking your heart.

“I don't understand human...” Papyrus paused, but he slowly smiled, “I will trust you.” He wanted to say something else, but something stopped him. You gave him another smile and walked into your bathroom and locked the door behind you.

You rubbed your prosthetic arm and sighed, today was about to be another bad day. On top of the pain, you dealt with the stress of university, Sans' frustration with your secrecy, and now more nightmares. You let out a soft sigh and walk into your room where your pills laid scattered on the floor near your bed. You leaned over to begin picking them up when a low cracking sound came from your shoulder. You stopped and stood up straight. Your hand quickly gripped the shoulder of your prosthetic, it shifted slightly. The screw must have came loose again. You shouldn't have slept in it...you needed to be more careful. You sat on your bed and looked to the sling.

 _This_ , all of _this_ was _normal_...right?

**~ * ~**

Sans avoided you for most of the day. You wanted to apologize, but you knew not to bring it up yet. You needed to be ready to explain yourself, and you weren't ready, not yet. Sans had chosen to drive when it came time to leave, he knew you wouldn't sit up in the front passenger seat. The drive wasn't far, it was quick and he pulled into a nearby parking lot. All day, and during the car ride, you have been told many stories about Undyne and Alphys from back when the brothers were still living in Underground. You were nervous, but you wanted to leave a good impression.  The two seemed like very important people.

The pup wasn't far, you couldn't help but pull and mess with your scarf. Papyrus had stuck close to you the entire day, he even tied the scar around your neck, he, of course, noticed right away when you were starting to get anxious.

“Worry not human! They will love you!” He said with a bright smile on his face and lightly patted your back. You felt your shoulder shift under your coat and you held your breath. You sighed when it fell back into place

You laughed lightly, “Y-yeah?”

“Absolutely!” He said as he looked up, “Ah!”

You followed his gaze to see two monsters standing outside of the building, which you assumed was to be Grillby's. The taller, blue monster looked from her conversation with the smaller yellow monster and smiled.

“Took you long enough nerds!” Her grin seemed to reach ear...fin to fin?

You stood back as the two skeleton brothers approached them, both donning smiles. You didn't want to interrupt their hellos, but the smaller, yellow monster noticed you not long after.

“Oh! Y-you must be ____?” She asked softly. The taller blue monster had been busy giving Papyrus a bear hug and hadn't noticed you until then.

The sudden attention startling you somewhat, but you took a quick deep breath and smiled. You replied with a shaky voice, “Y-yes...I'm...it's nice to meet you.” You paused, trying to control her nerves, “I've heard many stories about you.” From what Papyrus had told you, Undyne was similar in height to him while Alphys, her girlfriend, was close to Sans height.

Undyne grinned and looked back to Papyrus, “Hopefully all good!” She let out a hardy laugh as Papyrus tried to wrestle himself out of the grapple.

“Y-yes! Only good!” You said quickly, you were afraid she would break the poor skeleton in half.

Undyne laughed and let the Papyrus go. She walked passed him and straight towards you, leaving Papyrus to wobble on his feet. She shoved her right hand forward that stopped halfway between the two of you and shoved her left in her jacket's pocket.

“Relax nerd. I'm only joking.” Her voice was strong, and there was no venom, it was almost endearing. You looked to the hand that was shoved in your direction and laughed nervously as you raised your left hand. Undyne raised her eyebrow, unsure what you found funny.

“S-sorry.” You said softly, your hand twitched, “I have to use my left...” You tried to explain when she didn't get it.

She grinned and removed her left hand promptly from her pocket, and without missing a beat, took your hand quickly into hers and shook it firmly. “I'm Undyne, formal Captain of the Royal Guard.”

You gave her a smile after the jarring handshake. You steadied yourself and nodded. “I-it's nice to meet you, I'm ____, um...art student?”

After your introductions, you followed them into the bar, but a small hand caught your wrist. You turned to see that it was Sans.

_Oh no..._

You were worried. He's not said anything to you all day, and you were scared of his questions. His puzzled looks the...

“I'm sorry.”

You didn't expect that.

“Huh?”

“I said I'm sorry,” Sans said quietly after the others had gone inside the pub. “I just can't figure you out.”

You didn't know what to say. He seemed to sense that.

“Look...I'm normally a good judge of character...” His voice trailed off as he tried to find the words. When he knew you weren't going to run he let go of your wrist and shoved his hand back into his pocket. “Look. I know there is something going on, and I made a resolve to not question you any more about it until you were ready. I know it's been eating at you.” He sighed and looked towards the street to watch the passing cars. “We're friends right?”

You stared at him for a moment before answer, “You think of me as a friend?” Ally, your boss, had mentioned the term friend to you before several times, but this was the first time you felt any confirmation.

“It would seem kinda strange if I didn't.” He turned to face you again, “Don't think I'd bother this much if you weren't.” He slowly turned and motioned for you to follow him. You stood there for a moment before following after him into the pub.

Once the door was shut he turned and pointed towards your coat. “Let me get that.” He waits for your permission before grabbing the zipper. At first, the two of you were quiet, but he whispered, “Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah," you paused, "I took something this morning, and I have more in my bag if I need something later.” He had you slowly spin so he could pull your arm free. You took your coat when he offered and he reached up to loosen your scarf. He wasn't that much shorter than you, but you leaned forward for him to reach behind your neck to pull loose the small knot you had Papyrus tie to keep it around your neck and chin. He was careful and gentle but the two of you both jumped when Undyne shouted from the table not far from you.

“You two going to kiss or what?”

“Wha-what?” You stammered, your face instantly flushed as you stood back up quickly, accidentally pulling Sans forward. He caught himself and turned to look at his friend. You weren't sure, but you may have seen a slight tint of blue on his cheekbones.

Undyne sat in her chair backward looking at the two of you, grinning fin to fin. Alphys, smiling, but blushing, pointed to the ceiling above you. You slowly looked up to see what the Alphys was pointing at and Sans must have looked up as well and your gazes caught the sight of the familiar red and green plant. Mistletoe.

You could feel your ears heat up, they must be red as well by now. You thought about it for a moment, and it would make sense for others to misinterpret this scene.

“N-n-n-no! It's n-n-not like that!” You held your hand up defensively towards Undyne and stammered.

She laughed and you heard Sans chuckle softly beside you before looking to you, a grin not leaving his face.

“Sorry kid.” He tapped the front of his teeth, “Lack the lips for that.” You buried your face in your coat as he laughed and took a hold of your wrist gently. “Come on, let's go sit down before they tease us some more.” Still staring at the floor you followed.

The bar was warm, inviting, and the mix of food and alcohol filled the air. The place was packed with humans and monsters, but the five of you managed to find a table near the door. You'd feel the cool air from outside every time the door open, but over all it wasn't a bad place to sit. You didn't have a chance to look at the bar before Sans had guided you to sit next to Papyrus before he took his seat on the opposite side of the table. He shooed Undyne to the middle seat and sat across from his brother.

Undyne shot up and smiled, “What you all drinking? I'll get our first round, let's get this party started!” She hollered as she leaned over the table. Papyrus had wanted some brand of soda, Alphys asked for a small fruity drink, Sans asked for what ever was on tap, and she slowly turned to you.

“I...um...don't really d-drink?” What did they have here anyway? You were still nervous, you were still embarrassed from the outburst a few moments ago.

“Hmm...” Undyne thought for a moment, but soon a sly grin crawled across her lips. “I have something in mind.” She jumped over the seat and bounded towards the bar.

“She's going to get you drunk.” Sans laughed lightly.

“Oh...no no.” You replied quickly and looked down at the table, still trying to hide your face.

“So _-____,” Alphys quietly spoke up, “Sans has told me a little about you.” The small yellow monster, who was wearing a holiday themed sweater, darted her glance between her fidgeting hands and yourself.

“He has?” You asked quietly, looking up at her.

Alphys nodded and smiled, “He said you like to draw, and I was … I was wanting to know if you could show me your work sometime.”

You smiled brightly at the mention of art and nodded, “I actually have my smaller sketchpad on me...I take it everywhere.” You pulled on the small bag that was hanging from your neck to your lap and rummaged through it. Papyrus helped with removing the strap from around you and held the bag open.

“She drew one of Sans, and she said she was going to draw one of me as well,” Papyrus said happily as the small sketch pad was finally freed from the bag. You couldn't remember promising that to Papyrus, but you chuckled softly. Maybe you could sketch him while he's cooking, he shines brightly doing that.

“I don't have all of my sketches here...but this one has a lot of school work and ideas for books.” You flipped the book around and handed it over to Alphys, who eagerly opened and began flipping through the pages. She jumped down from her chair and walked over to your side to ask questions and make comments. It made you happy and you happily answered.

It wasn't long after that when Undyne came back, arms full of multiple glasses, a bottle, and three small shot glasses. She handed out everyone's drinks and set the small shot glasses in front of you. The drink was clear, and a lemon slice hung from the side of them, maybe for decoration?

Looking at the small glasses you looked up at her. “What's this?” You lifted it up to bring it to your nose but she stopped ya.

“It's a shot, you drink it in one go. Don't take a wiff, it will ruin the experience.” You gave her a worried look and then looked to Sans. He sat back in his chair and took the dark bottle that was placed in front of him and took a savored drink. He smiled and shrugged when you caught his eye. “You're not chicken are you?” This was a challenge. Undyne stood over you intimidatingly and you looked back down at the drink in your hand. You removed the lemon and set it to the side and looked back up at her. She was grinning at you, almost daringly. You returned her smug grin with a smirk and you quickly turned the drink up and leaned back in your chair.

You quickly regretted it. You coughed and choked while Undyne went to sit in her chair, almost dying of laughter. Papyrus had turned to you at some point and rubbed your back.

“Wh-what was that?!” You managed to hoarsely whisper out between choking. Your throat was on fire, and your stomach flipped. You couldn't throw up after one drink. You swallowed the spit in your mouth and rubbed your watering eyes.

“That was your very first shot of tequila.” She finally calmed her laughter and crossed her arms to flash another smug grin at you, “You've got guts kid.” She raised her beer and motioned for the others to raise theirs. You reached for another shot and lifted it slowly, trying carefully not to spill it between coughing.

“To another great year, friendship, and ANIME!” She laughed and clinked your glasses before chugging it.

_Anime?_

You guess you've heard stranger things. You chuckled softly and looked down at the shot drink in your hand, debating for a moment if you even wanted to try to drink them.

“If that's too strong for you I can find you something _weaker_.” Undyne leaned back in her chair as she set her empty mug down. She no longer intimidated you, but you weren't going to look like a wimp in front of Sans and Papyrus' friends. You wanted to make a good impression, and she seemed like when you took her up on her challenge.

“Not a chance.” You said as you tipped the second one. You started to cough again and you reached for the lemon this time. You could feel your face tingle and you chuckled softly at her cocky smile as you sucked on the lemon slice.

“Hey kid, take it easy.” Sans said as he motioned to the glasses, “That stuff will knock you out, I don't want to be cleaning the back seat later.”

You chuckled lightly and shook your head. “I know my limit.”

**~ * ~**

It wasn't long after that your face was flushed wearing a goofy, dreamy smile. Alphys was still looking through your sketchpad and you had at some point leaned against Papyrus, who didn't seem to mind at all.  You were all having fun.

“So ____,” Undyne leaned in. She got a pitcher of beer at some point and had gone through half of it, but it didn't even seem to phase her. She could hold her liquor well, unlike yourself at this point. Papyrus was sitting to your left, and you had happily leaned your head onto his forearm, despite it being a hard bone, it was comfortable.

“Hmm?” You slowly sit up and lean back in your chair. You had already downed your three shots and you were pretty tipsy, if not drunk. You weren't sure how the fourth shot got in front of you, but you hadn't touched it yet. Up until now, you've only had sugary alcoholic drinks. You didn't care for the taste of alcohol honestly, and the more the drink tasted like it, the better. If you knew your limits at all, you wouldn't have probably had the second shot. You only drank the first three after being baited by the blue fish monster who sat between Alphys and Sans.

“How did you meet these two boneheads?” Undyne poured herself another mug of her beer and took another sip.

You giggled at the mention of boneheads, “Because they're skeletons...” Papyrus groaned while Sans chuckled. You swayed in your seat for a moment as you thought, “He saved me...” Your smile brightened as you recalled the memory.

“Really now? This slacker? I find that hard to believe.” Undyne laughed.

You furrowed your brow and glared at her, “No! He did!” You turned to look at Sans, who was pretending not to listen. “He was...so cool...” You said as your words trailed off.

“W-what happened?” Alphys asked she leaned forward. Alphys had heard Sans side of the story, but only that he answered an add for roommates and met her that way.

You leaned forward in your chair and pulled the hat that you still wore on your head and pulled it off. “This...asshole stole my hat...” You paused and stared at the pink fabric, “He wouldn't give it back unless....unless I took it back.” You dropped your had to the table and quickly grabbed Papyrus' wrist and pulled his arm above the table. “He grabbed my wrist and wouldn't let me go!”

“Whoa!” Undyne exclaimed as she turned to look at Papyrus who didn't seem to mind as she used his arm to explain her side of the story.

You nodded, “He got close and twisted my arm when he saw my scars...”

This was the first time you spoke out loud about them yourself, and Sans had placed his drink down.

“____?” Sans asked softly.

You let go of Papyrus's arm, who laid it to rest in front of him, as he listened, he looked at Sans and gave him a questioning.

You pulled your hand back and looked down at your palm before flipping it and almost shoving it front of Undyne's face. “I don't like it...” You said softly, “I don't want people to see this!” Your hand started to shake and brought it back to curl it up under your chin. “He kept pulling on me and wouldn't let me go. He was looking at it...I...I...”

Sans had gotten up and walked around the table. He placed his hand on your right shoulder and you jumped when you felt it move. You looked up at him with blurry eyes and smiled.

“You scared him away.” You said softly and smiled, at some point you had started crying.

Sans shot Undyne a glare and she shrugged, she didn't mean to upset you. He went to help you up, “Come on, let's get some fresh air.” He said softly.

You shoved his hand away and shook your head, “No! I'm fine!” You wiped your eyes and a smile returned to your face. “If I don't smile...you worry....”

“Come on, it will do you some good,” Sans said softly as he tried to help you stand once again.

“I said no!” You leaned away and pushed yourself into Papyrus. Papyrus had caught you and held you up and you giggled. You were completely out of it. “If I don't smile....you get upset...”

“Alright...” Sans sighed as he turned his attention to the bar, “Hey Grilbs, can we have a glass of water for my friend?”

Papyrus lightly shook you as he spoke, “Human, it may be true that we do not like to see you upset, but it's better if you don't try to hide it.”

You give him a soft smile and turn to face the table again, “It's how it always been...it's normal to be happy...” You paused as you reached for your forth shot. “But I'm not normal...” You looked down into your drink through blurry eyes, you quickly downed it before Sans could stop you. You could hear his sigh and he took a step back.

“Thanks, Grillbs, I'll keep an eye on her,” Sans said to someone standing behind you.  "No more shots."

You lowered the glass from your lips and turned to your right to see who he was talking to. You heart sank as you felt a familiar heat close to you. The glow of Grillby's arm reached passed you to place the glass of water in front of you, your hand started to shake and the shot glass you were holding fell to the ground. The sound of shattering glass seemed to echo as it hit the floor, and the busy murmur fell to silence.

You screamed.

"____?!" You startled Papyrus as you pushed back into him hard, toppling yourself and him backward to the floor.  The chairs clattered and there was no other sounds but your ragged breathing.  Your face was pale and you shook violently.

" _No no no no no no no no no....help....someone help me....please....!?_ " You backed into a chair and froze.  You grabbed at the right side of your face and screamed once again.  

"What the hell is going on?" Undyne yelled as she stood up from her seat.

Sans and Papyrus had already run to your side.

"____?!" Papyrus called to you and shook you.  You weren't responding and he looked up to his brother.  "Sans what happened?"

Sans didn't know what was going on either.  He was more focused on you.  "Help me lift her up Pap, we'll take her home."

Alphys had gotten up and was holding your bag.  "Sans?"

"I don't know Alphys...I just..." He couldn't finish.

As soon as you were to your feet you ran.  You slammed against the door and shoved it open and took off.  Sans took off quickly after, not looking back.

"Shit..." He swore under his breath, you were fast, and you took off without your coat. He looked up and down the street and caught sight of you leaning against a side of a building.  He sighed as he caught up.  He stopped shortly when he listened to you ramble further.

" _Help...someone help me..._ "

"____?" Sans asked softly and slowly approached you.

" _It hurts...please...save me...someone!_ "  Sans gently touched your right shoulder.  You jumped as it shifted and your left hand quickly tightly grabbed your right shoulder.  

"Hey, it's me...Sans, do you...do you recognize me?" Sans retracted his hand quickly as you slowly backed away. You continued to mutter and quickly turned to run again, but Sans wouldn't let you.  This time he grabbed your right forearm. You tried to run, but your feet slipped on the icy pavement.  The sudden shift and change in momentum was all it took.  A sickly crack, and then a sharp snap pierced the air around you.

Sans stood above you, he didn't understand what he was seeing.  He watched you slip and fall, but the sound and the way your arm was bent, the way he was holding it now didn't make sense.  Arms didn't bend that way.  He let it go and it fell awkwardly onto your side.  It slumped unnaturally forward and the color red slowly stained the back of your sweater.  

"____?" Sans asked one last time as he saw you slowly slump forward, there was no mistaken it now, there was blood...a lot of blood.

"Sans?" Alphys called from behind him, he turned around, his face full of panic and worry.  She stopped and looked ahead of him and gasped.  She dropped your coat and turned to face Undyne and Papyrus who were running up behind her.  "C-call and am-ambulance!"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There can be no more secrets.
> 
> Okay...I've been writing and editing this chapter for the last 12 hours. I've been slowly building for this, and I hope you all realized when I mentioned Grillby's in the previous chapter that something was going to happen...
> 
> So our reader can no longer run, she can't hide anymore. There's one more feelsie chapter I need to cover before it can start to get happy...and I promise...romance is coming...I really mean it. Just have to build up circumstances....
> 
> I've been very nervous about this chapter, and the next one, it's really going to shape the tone and delve deep into it all so we can finally move forward. Up until this point there has been a lot of nothing moving forward, and there's a very good reason for it. It will make sense in the next chapter. I promise...
> 
> I don't want the reader to forever be on a spiral downwards, and I don't want to take any of the issues she has lightly. Pain, fear, depression, all of it I spend a lot of time reading through articles and survivor stories through experiences. If anything has been inaccurate up to this point, please let me know and I will correct anything.
> 
> I want to thank you for reading again, I'm going to pass out now and take a break tomorrow before beginning the next chapter.
> 
> shameless tumblr plug:  
> http://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	8. Open

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leaving the chapter the way it ended last night really bothered me. I know I said I was going to take a break, but I needed finish this today.
> 
> My feelings about last night are a bit more fleshed out here:  
> http://kioribug.tumblr.com/post/136624809632/something-crazy

_Beep...beep....beep..._

The familiar tone echoed in the back of your mind. A long time ago you had gotten used to it, but it's absence had dulled your ability to drown it out. The TV hanging from the wall echoed local news or celebrity gossip that didn't interest you. You had the lights out, but the room wasn't dark. The window to your left displayed the city skyline. The sun hidden from view behind the white and gray puffy clouds. It was another cold, late evening in December and snow had started to fall again. All you could do was watch as they slowly drifted below your window sill quietly.

Each breath was accompanied with the familiar heavy scent of antiseptic and medicine. It was a clean smell, too clean. It wasn't comforting in the slightest. Your door to the hall was open, and the echoing sound of families visiting with each other were distant murmurs. The rumble of carts and the tapping of heals and heavy shoes echoed against the walls.

You had spent so much time in a hospital bed when you were a kid, it was almost a second home, but one you didn't want to return to. The food was food, wasn't good or bad. The nurses all wore happy carefree smiles, some wore it better then others. Their eyes however would betray them and at times you could see the sadness, or possibly pity? Sympathy would be the term they would use, but at times it didn't feel like that. You didn't want their fake smiles, them to feel sad, pity, or want their sympathy.

You hated it here. You hated the white walls, the white floors, the white gown, the hard beds. The sheets were stiff...you worked so hard, you were always so careful. You never wanted to stay here again, but here you are. This is day four, it's the Tuesday after, and the holiday was this Friday.

It's been four days since you saw either Papyrus or Sans. It's not that they didn't try to visit you, you turned them away, you told the staff you didn't want to receive any visitors from _monsters_. You only let Ally, your boss, visit. After you woke up Saturday morning, you had called her after the doctors explained what had happened. They had sent your friends home and told them they would call when would have woken up. They brought you to the hospital, and now they knew. The nurses kept you informed when they would try to visit, and after being turned away for the second day in a row, they didn't even try to stop by on the third. Your phone had several missed calls, and probably even more missed messages. You couldn't tell any longer, the battery died on the second day and you didn't have it's charger.

The news on the television changed their programming, signaling the 5 o'clock news had started. Visiting hours would be over by eight, and your gray room would soon only be lit by the lights of the city. Your hospital room phone rang, you had it at it's lowest volume, but even then it was jarring compared to all the other dulled murmurs that filled the room. They had moved it to the left side of your bed and placed it on your roll out table. You stared at it briefly, finally realizing you needed to answer it.

“...hello?” Your voice barely spoke above a whisper.

“There is a visitor here to see you, do you want me to send them your way?”

It was a young nurse, one you hadn't heard before. She mentioned a visitor.

“Just one?” Your speech felt slow.

The nurse took a moment to respond, probably adjusting the volume of her speaker, “Yes, just one. Do you want me to turn them away?”

Ally had said she was going to stop by again today, you hadn't seen her yet and figured it was probably her.

“N-no...I'll have them.”

Your response seemed to brighten the nurse's attitude and you could hear her directing Ally to your room. She didn't need to be told where to go, but again, this nurse wasn't familiar to you. They wouldn't know your guest.

It wasn't long until you heard a soft rapping at your door. It sounded different, Ally never knocked, you slowly turned your head to see who was coming in. Your stare stopped when you caught sight of the familiar blue jacket. It was Sans. Your breath caught in your throat as he looked back at you.

Sadness...worry....something else was there...some other emotion you didn't recognize at first was mixed into his expression as he stared at you. You could feel his eyes trace you, and you broke eye contact with him.

You weren't ready for this...not yet.

“Hey...” His voice cut through the dense air that seemed to fill the room. “You haven't checked your phone huh?”

There was a bitterness and you heard the door to your room click shut. The lights flickered on above you, the luminescent, bright, white lights filled the room. You closed your eyes, the light bothered you. You didn't want to open them, but the small footsteps and the bony hand that cupped your chin gently forced you to look up. Forced you to make eye contact.

Frustration, pain, sorry, hurt...any of those could fit his expression. You felt guilty, you finally let go of your bated breath.

“I-I'm-”

“Stop it, no more apologies.” Sans spoke sharply, causing you to sharply inhale. He sighed as he turned and found a small chair in the corner of the room. He let go of your chin and went to pull the chair closer to the bed. He took his seat and sat next to you quietly.

Minutes pass, several painful minutes passed in silence. The sun was setting, going to hide behind the distant buildings, you wanted to hide as well, wanted to run, but you couldn't.

Not this time.

You finally turned looked towards Sans. He was leaning back in the chair with his arms folded across his abdomen, you couldn't read his expression anymore. You slowly inhaled and tried to collect your words.

“I'm okay.”

“You're lying.” His response was as quick and sharp as before. You should have known that wouldn't work, not this time. “I have a lot of questions, and I am not sure where to even start at this point.”

You wanted to look away, but something told you not to. You stared at him, studying his face. A mix of so many emotions, it terrified you.

“Why?” That was the first question, one you didn't know where to begin. “Why hide it. Why hide this?” He motioned towards you.

You knew what he meant. The white gown that wrapped around you hung awkwardly around your right shoulder, the sleeve tide off to keep it short, to keep it from catching on things. Your harness wasn't there, your prosthetic arm to fill in the missing limb, wasn't there. The missing appendage for all to see...or not for lack of better words, could not longer remain your secret.

Your mouth twitched. The question was simple, wasn't it? Why? There were so many “whys”, which one would you answer?

_Why keep it a secret?_

_Why did you feel the need to keep it a secret?_

_Why you felt anxious when people asked it?_

_Why you felt ashamed of it..._

_Why?_

You wanted to cry, but you couldn't. You were too tired. You felt like there was nothing left. Somewhere along the train of thought, your mouth moved, forming words you didn't recognize were your own at first.

“Why not?”

This wasn't an answer, you weren't even sure if you were asking Sans this question, or yourself.

“____.” Sans said as he stood up and leaned against the side of your bed. As he stood there, he was so big, it made you feel so small in comparison. “I'm just trying to understand here. Can you please just talk to me?”

“It...it's not that simple.” Your voice was barely above a whisper. He leaned in closer to you, trying to catch what you were trying to say.

“It never is...” He said quietly as he took a hold of your shaking hand and squeezed it gently. When did you start shaking?

His hand was warm...or maybe it was cool, it was a weird sensation. You couldn't make sense of it and you looked away.

“I don't understand...” You speak softly. Sans squeezed your hand again in response. “Why? Why are you here?”

Sans laughed softly, you didn't find this funny. “Kid...for someone who is supposed to be answering questions, you're sure asking a lot yourself.”

“I don't understand why...you're...still...here...” You thought you were done crying, now it didn't seem like it.

Sans didn't reply for a few minutes. He stood softly holding your hand, every once in a while he'd give it a gentle squeeze. You didn't understand. Wasn't he upset with you? Tired of putting up with you? Your secrecy, your unwillingness to speak. Right now he was seeing you, the real you, for the first time. It was terrifying.

“I'm going to ask you again,” Sans paused as he slowly leaned away from the bed and let go of your hand. “We're friends, right?”

There it was again, that question he asked just the other night. You didn't answer, you had only asked a question in return.

_Was Sans your friend?_

He at least made it sound like he thought of you as a friend. Where did he stand with you? You've known him only for a short time, but he's seen you now,  at rock bottom. He's seen you spiral out of control, and there was nothing else there. What good was there? Despite what you felt, you wanted to be, you wanted to be his friend.

“I wanted to be...”

You could hear Sans softly laugh once again. This wasn't funny, you wanted to glare, but your blurry stare was met by a smile.

“Wanted to be huh?” He shoved his hands into his pockets and turned to walk to the foot of the bed. You followed him as he passed your feet and turned towards the door. You felt a ball in your stomach. He stopped before he reached the door and turned to look back at you, “Care to share why you don't feel you are?”

You could almost answer instantly, “I'm not _normal_...” You hated that word. The meaning behind it.

“Normal?” He questioned. He leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes.

You gripped the bed sheets tightly and bit your lower lip, “This... _this isn't **normal**_.” You hissed. You drew your legs up, you pressed them as tightly as you could against your chest. “ **This...this isn't normal Sans!** _Look at me!_ ”

He opened his eyes again and raised his head to look at you. Seeing you had his attention again you let go of the sheets and balled your fist up over your chest, grabbing and twisting the fabric there. “This...this isn't me! This...this shell...this broken shell isn't me!” Your breaths were ragged, and at some point you shut your eyes tight, closing out all of the light and buried your face in your knees.

You didn't move until you heard the soft click as the lights went out around you. You raised your head quickly and opened your eyes. It took a moment, but you could tell the sun had completely set behind the horizon at this point. The room was back for a mere moment before the city lights cascaded dark shadows in the room. As your eyes focused, the soft glow of an eerie blue light filled the room. Your eyes met the source and you exhaled slowly.

“There's something I need to show you.” Sans said softly. He stood at the door, he had flipped the light switch and his left eye seeped what you understood was his magic. You saw it once before, when he and Papyrus was moving in, it was completely different from then. It was intimidating.

You wanted to back away as he approached the bed side on your left, but fear kept you still. He took a seat on the bed next to you and turned to tap the top of your knees. You gave him a confused look and he smiled, “Put them down, I want to show you something.”

You nod slowly and did what he asked. Your hand shaking still as you tightly gripped your gown.

“Relax, I'm not going to hurt you, but it's going to feel weird.” He said as he offered you a gentle smile. You took another shaky breath and gasped as you felt a pull. Something was being pulled, and slowly the blankets and Sans's hand in front of you was cascaded in a dull violet light.

Something was there. This...light was coming from something between you and him, you looked at it and then back up to Sans. You could feel yourself slowly start gasping for air. His right had gently touched your arm and you calmed your breathing. You couldn't take your eyes off of it as a small heart floated in front of you.

“Sans...what...what is that?”

He smiled, his eyes tracing it as he pulled his left hand away. He removed his other hand from your shoulder as he raised his hands towards the small heart. He stopped and looked up at you. He hesitated and sighed.

“____...this is you.” He seemed to be rolling words around in his head, picking them carefully, “This is an embodiment of your soul...” He leaned back and pulled his left leg onto the bed to face you properly.

“My soul?” You looked back to the heart and let go of your gown. You reached out to it but hesitated. “It's so dark...”

He chuckled softly, “Yeah...but it's actually brighter then I'd expected it to be.” You looked at him questioningly. “Yeah, I've seen it darker...” He looked away from you and back at it. “It contains everything about you. Your hopes, your dreams, your fears, your memories...” He paused and sighed.

It was scary. It was scary how something so small, contained everything about you. “Why? Why show me this?”

Sans smiled as he traced the air around your soul. “It's a bit easier to explain if you can see it for yourself.” He turned back and glanced back at you, “Am I a friend?”

The sudden question startled you, but not as badly as the spark your soul seemed to emit. It shown brightly for a second before fading to a darker hue. You wanted to grab it, to hide it, but your hand phased through it.

“Doesn't work like that kid.” He smiled. “You can't physically touched your own soul. It is, after all, a container full ...well...what I said earlier. Hopes and dreams...things that aren't physical.”

You think you understood, but you didn't understand what it just did, “Why did it light up like that?”

Sans smiled, “It was responding to my question. You want to say we're friends, but there's something else holding you back.” Mentioning this again sparked the light from your soul once again, it was embarrassing. He could see it...see everything like this. It sparked once again and steadied it. He chuckled. “It seems you're understanding it.”

“It's not fair...” You said softly, your cheeks were flushed as you looked away, you knew it wouldn't matter.

“What's not fair?” Sans asked as he withdrew he stopped outlining the air around your soul and looked up to your face.

“Asking me questions...I can't...I can't...” You stumbled.

“Can't hide? Yeah...it's a bit unfair.” He laughed and held his hands up again. “Can I hold it?”

You could see the purple hue on the blankets below you spark once again and couldn't help but smile. “That's not fair...” You paused before looking at him. The light danced over the sheets; fear, excitement, curiosity? What was it. “Why? You said you can't touch it?”

“I said _you_ can't touch it.” He corrected.

“You can?” He laughed as he watched your soul. You wanted to curse it. You took a slow breath and your hand found the loose covers in your lap. You felt vulnerable.

“Yeah, if you allow me to, I can see into it as well.”

You held your breath and looked at him.

Sans sighed softly and met your eyes with his. “____.” He paused, “I'm asking if you'll allow me to look into your soul...”

“B-but!” It terrified you. The thought scared you even more that there was the possibility he could just look when ever he wanted to. “Why haven't you looked before?”

He shrugged, “I usually don't make a habit of poking around in people's business. Besides,” He turned back to look at your soul with a disheartened look, “I thought it would break...”

“They could break? “ You asked and looked back at it, “Is it really that fragile?”

Sans shrugged his shoulders, “Yes and no.”

“I don't understand...” You sighed, all this was beginning to hurt your head.

“Human souls are incredibly strong, and your soul is strong, but it doesn't take much to break one.” Sans closed his eyes again before speaking again, “This would be easier than using words.”

You inhaled slowly and looked at the container. Your secrets...your fears...all of it...he could see them.

“ _I'm scared..._ ” You gasped as his hand grasped the hand that was sitting in your lap.

“If you don't want to, I won't. If you do, and there's something you don't want me to know, we can stop.” Sans said softly, gently squeezing your hand again.

“Is it that easy?” You asked.

Sans nodded, “I won't hurt you.”

Those words sparked your soul once more and you nod lightly.

“A-alright...” You felt Sans take his hand away and heard him sigh softly.

You watched him stare down at his hands and slowly outstretch them. His fingers extended behind your soul and his thumbs hovered over its front. He looked up at you, “This is going to feel even weirder than before...”

You nod and you felt something warm wrap around you. You couldn't describe it. It was like being wrapped in a blanket, comforting, but soon that comfort left as a picture, fuzzy at first, faded from the darkness that enveloped you.

**~ * ~**

It was like watching many scenes from a movie all at once. There was so much, too much, all at once. You gasped for air, reaching out in the darkness around you, for anything solid. What was this place, where were you?

“____.” Sans' voice called from the darkness. You felt his hand grab yours and it calmed you. “I'm right here, sorry.” He stopped and looked around.

A scene was unfolding in front of you, and you squeezed Sans hand tightly. It was a bedroom... **your** bedroom...

“ _No.._.” You whispered and collapsed to your knees.

“Hey? You okay?” Sans asked softly as the scene slowly unfolded.

You shook your head, “ _This_...I don't...” Before you could finish speaking you could hear yourself echo.

_Mommy?_

You looked up and watch as you...a younger version of you fell out of bed and searched the dark smoky room. You shook, “Run away...please...get out...”

Sans knelt beside you, “Hey, what's going on? Who's that?” He was silenced as the alarms started blaring, followed by a low rumble and growing roar.

_Help! S-someone help m-me!_

His attention was brought back to the scene in front of him Shortly after the girl had called for help, he heard her ear shattering scream. He jumped, and he felt you shake violently. He looked down at you as you cupped the right side of your face.

It was you...

It made sense now, this was you as a child. This is what gave you your scars. Sans watched the child, where was everyone? Why was she, were you, alone? He squeezed your hand tightly as he watched the fabric on her back catch fire. The screams were sickening, the child twisted and convulsed violently. Sans wanted to help her, to save her, but you held onto his hand too tightly. When he thought he couldn't take anymore, the sound of a familiar snap of wood  echoed through the room, and you fall, the child, from sight.

**~ * ~**

You gasped for air, your vision returned slowly. Your hospital room came into blurry focus. Darkness filled the room, the light from your soul and Sans magic was gone, all that was there was the light from the city skyline. You cried as you felt bony arms wrapped around you, they were comforting.

“I'm sorry...I...I'm sorry...” Sans said between choked breaths.

Was he crying?

You couldn't see him, you grabbed his jacket and sobbed softly into it. The pain, the fear, the sounds, it was all there. It was intense, and Sans saw it. You could feel him shake as he held you tightly, you gasped for air.

“Sans...it hurts...” You said between sobs. He quickly let you go and sat back on the bed. “I-I'm sorry...”

He was crying. He rubbed his eyes on his jackets when you noticed. “I...I wasn't expecting that....Shit...” He took a deep breath to collect himself. He got up quickly and went to turn on the room lights.

It was blinding at first and you rubbed your eyes. He wiped his eyes on his jacket again and looked back to you and the sadness quickly turn to worry.

“You're bleeding!” He said as he motioned towards your shoulder. You turned your head, sighing when you couldn't see but believed him. You reached over with your left hand and hit one of the buttons on the wall.

A few moments later a nurse knocked and opened the door, “Is everything alright Miss ____?”

It was the nurse you didn't recognize from earlier. She stopped when she saw you. You must have looked like a mess, your face red, and eyes puffy, added up with your shoulder.

“I-I need a new bandage...I bumped it and it reopened...”

She nodded and quickly turned, “I'll be right back with a new gown and bandages. You turned to Sans and pointed to the chair next to the bed. “Take a seat...” You said softly.

He nodded slowly as he took at seat. You rubbed your eyes again when the nurse returned. She pulled a cart behind her that contained bandages and cleaning supplies. You had already pulled the hair from behind your neck and pulled as much of it around to lay on your left shoulder. The nurse and turned to your guest.

“Um sir...may I ask you to step ou-” She began.

“It's okay, he can stay.” You said softly. You shifted in the bed where you were facing him. The nurse hesitated a moment, but continued with what she need to do. “Sans...there's a small box on that table, would you grab it?” You nodded to it and he turned to look at it. He had dried his eyes, but his cheeks were still flushed with a light shade of blue.

“Uh...this one?” He asked as he grabbed a small container.

You nodded, “That's it...you can take a look inside.”

He looked away quickly as he saw the tie around your neck loosen and the nurse pull the back around towards the front. Your hand quickly caught the fabric and held it up to cover your chest, but you smiled knowing that Sans was at least slightly nervous.

He opened it slowly and looked down at the small piece of glass. He looked back up at you, unsure or what it is. You spun your finger, indicating for him to turn it over. He slowly did and nearly dropped it.

“What the?” He stared down at it and up at you. “What?!”

You smiled,  you trapped your gown under your arm and slowly moved your hand up to move the hair from the right side of your face and tucked it behind your ear. It was easier then you thought it would be to show him. He studied your face, and his eyes stopped where you figured it would. You offered him a small smile.

“Yeah...my eye...”

He looked back down at it and examined it, “That's kind of morbid.” He looked back up at the empty socket. "I guess that's why you never seem to notice things to the right of you right away.”

You nod and outstretched your hand to him. He nodded, and blushed when your gown fell forward slightly. He looked away, but seemed to take the hint to place the glass eye in your hand. It only took you a moment, and he turned back to see you pull your hand away from your face. You blinked a few times and looked back him as you grabbed the top of your gown and held it up once again.

“Look okay?” You asked, he nodded and continue to stare, his eyes outlined your scars and he looked away. His expression pained.

The nurse had finished cleaning the wound and already had almost finishing bandaging it when she reached over and pulled a fresh gown off of the cart. She laid it in your lap and smiled, “Need anything else?” She asked softly and looked to your visitor.

“Yes, actually.” You paused and looked at the box on the dresser. “Could you put that box on the end of the bed?

She looked back towards the box and nodded. She pushed her cart towards the door and returned to place the box at the foot of your bed.

“Thank you.” You said softly and she proceeded to leave, closing the door behind her again.

You sat their silently as Sans looked at the box and then back to you.

“I can only guess what's in there...” He said pointing at it.

You smiled and patted the bed to your right, “Sit here...”

He got up and slowly circled around to approach the bed from the other side. He looked at it nervously. He looked back at you and a grin crawled across your lips.

“Can you give me a _hand_?”

His jaw dropped. He wasn't sure how to respond. You could see the corners of his mouth twitch, trying to form a smile. He hid it in his hand looked away before slowly looking back to you.

“Did you just...make a pun?” He asked.

You grinned, “That's _right_.”

He couldn't help but smile and a laugh escaped him. He grabbed the box and opened it to reveal the broken harness. He slowly took it out and examined it, having actually seeing it like this for the first time. It had been cleaned recently, it still smelled of the solution. He removed it from the box, it was heavy.

“You hid it well...I didn't even realize it...” He said as he looked at the shoulder. There was a crack and on the inside, a chunk was missing. “What was here?”

You leaned over to look at what he was pointing at. “Oh...the straps were connected around there. It's been loose for a while...It was bound to break eventually...” You stopped, you don't remember much about Friday, and you figured you'd asked what happened after he was done looking at it.

He nodded and ran the tips of his fingers over the edges. He looked back at you and looked at your bandaged shoulder. Sans turned back to the harness and laid it back in the box and stood up slowly. He picked it up and set it back on the dresser. It took him a moment before he turned around to stare at you.

“There's one more thing...” You said softly and pulled on the gown that still hung off of your shoulder. “Might be easier to stand closer.”

He nodded. The first step came a moment later as he slowly walked up to the side of the bed. You turned around to show him your back. Without words, he understands what you were wanting to show him.

“I least I know there's nothing up your sleeve.” You chuckled.

You couldn't see him, but you could feel his eyes tracing the scars on your back. The bandage covered the worst of the scars on your shoulder, but old smaller scars traced the curve of your back. A small bruise was visible on your hip, probably from when your harness broke. You held your breath as he silently stood there, jumping when you felt his cool, yet warm fingers trace the outline of your spine.

“S-sorry.” He said quietly and took his hand away.

You shook your head as you slowly turned your back away from him. He slowly took a seat on the side of your bed and thought quietly to himself for a moment.

“That...that's some...” Sans stumbled on his words as he rubbed his chin lightly. “I mean...I guess I understand why you couldn't talk...couldn't say...shit...” He was searching for the right words to use.

It was a weird sensation. A little while ago, you would have never thought you would have been ready to show your scars to anyone, let alone Sans.

Sans was right. Him witnessing your memory, feeling the intense fear, the pain, the unbearable loneliness and so much more you couldn't place words to just yet. It made it easier. He knew, he understood, and he didn't look at you in disgust.

When he held your soul, you could feel a foreign presence. It was warm, it was comforting. It felt safe. The memory, you still didn't want to recall it, but having Sans there with you made it easier to face. His hand never let go of yours. He stayed by your side, and that was the first time you didn't feel alone.

You slowly looked up at the skeleton, your vision blurry once again. You were crying again? Sans had noticed and came back to your side, you couldn't hear what he was saying. Your head was foggy, but watching him stumble, trying to speak to find the words you couldn't help it. You smiled...

...and you laughed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it was...finally the secret it out. All our "Readers" issues are solved right?
> 
> It's not that simple...never that simple.
> 
> Two chapters within 24 hours? I don't think I could do that again...I really don't want to. I'm mentally drained and I need to take a few days to sit back and lay the track to the next plot point. The story isn't over...8 chapters in...and still no romance.
> 
> Could you consider this romance? I don't...I have that figured out already, it's coming. I'm not going to disappoint, I promise.
> 
> Your comments here, asks on tumblr, fanarts, support...all of it means the world to me. The next few days I'm going to spend drawing and clearing my head. Again...thank you all, thank you for the support you are giving me.
> 
> Also...art I created for:
> 
> Reader sitting in the hospital bed:  
> http://kioribug.tumblr.com/post/136073259407/instead-writing-today-i-decided-to-sketch-its  
> I've had the hospital opening scene stuck in my head since before chapter 5 was written.
> 
> Chapter 7th's happy reader:  
> http://kioribug.tumblr.com/post/136647953262/more-detailed-version-of-an-earlier-happy-reader  
> Obviously I have my own image of what the reader looks like, my skills lack how exactly I picture her. I'd like to think she is wearing a light pink hat and matching scarf.
> 
> And finally...reader's soul:  
> http://i.imgur.com/pfP4r4w.png  
> I chose not to upload this to tumblr just yet, since this is the first chapter to mention the reader's soul's color. 
> 
> Shamless tumblr plug if not obvious from above:  
> http://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	9. Understanding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **went back and fixed a lot of errors.
> 
> This chapter is mostly from Sans POV and it goes over the same hospital visit as chapter 8.
> 
> Lovely fanart of the reader submitted by makkurohoshi:  
> http://kioribug.tumblr.com/post/136755005892/kioribug-this-is-my-version-of-the-reader-hope
> 
> I am always blown away by these. :)

****“No Alphys, she's still refusing!” Sans snapped. He took a deep breath and got up from his chair. He paced towards the window and glared outside at the snow. Alphys didn't deserve the anger he felt. She was only concerned for you and her friend. Sans sighed and turned to face her, “Sorry...”

Alphys was already to her feet and had rushed to his side. All she wanted was to comfort Sans, but she was at a loss for words. She opened her mouth and closed it, wanting to speak, but couldn't. She placed her clawed hand on his shoulder and offered a sad smile.

“Sans...” She spoke slowly, her voice wavering slightly.

“Sorry Alphys, I just can't do this...not today.” Sans quickly turned away from her touch and walked back to his desk. He removed the lab jacket and threw it onto the back of his desk chair and turned towards the exit.

“Sans wait!” Alphys called after him. Sans stopped for a moment before pushing forward. “Sans!” She was answered with the sound of the door slamming. She chased after him, quickly swinging the door open and rushed into the hall, but no one was there. Alphys sighed and leaned against the door frame. She regretted asking about you for a moment, but before she could dwell on it her phone vibrated from her pocket. She fumbled for her phone and opened the message, not checking who it was from.

_**Sorry, I just need to talk to her. Have a nice trip.** _

Alphys smiled, the message was form Sans. She sighed and went back into the lab. The door closed slowly behind her and she placed the phone down on her desk. She glanced over at the papers Sans had been working on and approached his side of the desk. She collected the papers and smiled, at least he had finished his work. She took the them and slowly sat back in her chair, looking at her finished pile and to the calendar with the circled date. All she needed to do was enter her data into her PC and she would be able to go home. Her and Undyne were going to the beach for the new years. She pushed those thoughts out of her head for the time being and stared at her phone.

“Don't push her too fast...” She mumbled before flipping open her phone once again to find a playlist. She wanted something to take her mind off her thoughts. She knew Sans wasn't upset at her. She knew that he was having a hard time at home. Papyrus has been an emotional wreck that night. You all were. Alphys sighed again and shook her head. She found the particular song she was looking for, a certain specific theme for a cutsie magical girl anime. She pressed play and turned on the speakers. She wanted the brothers to be fine, but she knew better then anyone, these things took time.

**~ * ~**

Sans sighed as he stood in front of his house. There was an unfamiliar car parked outside, and the front door was unlocked. The door being unlocked wasn't what was strange, but hearing Papyrus speaking to someone on the other side is what was throwing him off. Sans opened the door slowly and he could already hear his brother's greeting.

“Sans?” Papyrus slowly got up from the couch as Sans closed the door behind him.

“Who are you talking to Paps?” Sans asked as he took a few more steps inside. His question was answered quickly when he saw the familiar elderly lady from the library. “You're...Ally correct?” He asked as he slowly came to stand behind the couch.

“I am.” She smiled sweetly and stood up slowly. “I'm sorry to intrude. I'm honestly embarrassed to admit that I had no clue the two of you lived here as well.”

“Sans! She was telling me about the Library were ____ works at. It has so many more books then the one back in Snowdin!” Papyrus sounded happy, this made Sans feel better at least.

“That's real great Pap,” Sans paused before turning his attention to the librarian. “I find it hard to believe you came to discuss books with my brother...”

She cleared her throat and nodded, “Originally no,” She paused and took her seat in the chair opposite of the couch, “There is something I would like to talk with the two of you about though...” Sans nodded as she gestured towards the couch, inviting him to sit. Sans took a seat next to the arm and propped his right elbow up. Papyrus took a seat next to his brother and leaned forward, eager to hear more from Ally. She sighed quietly and looked down to her lap before speaking, “Have you two spoken to ____?” Sans scoffed anIthe could feel Papyrus' glare on the back of his skull, but honestly he was upset. Ally sighed again, “I didn't think so...”

“The nurses turn us away...” Papyrus said sadly. His glare fading as he slowly turned to look at the floor.

Ally nodded and looked up, studying the two. “Could you tell me what happened? I am able to understand that the three of you had gone out drinking?”

Papyrus spoke up first, “I don't really understand it but...” He paused and looked over to Sans, “She was having fun, and then she suddenly wasn't. Something scared her...” He looked away from Sans and then back to Ally, “She ran away and Sans went after her.”

Sans sighed and stared at the black screen of the television, “She freaked out and ran. Hell if I know why. I caught up with her, she was mumbling something. I went to grab her when she tried to bolt again and she slipped.” He paused, the moment was terrifying. He didn't understand what was happening, he thought he hurt you. “She fell, and we called the ambulance.”

Ally listened carefully, their story didn't fill all the gaps, but it was enough for her to piece a few things together. “The poor thing...”

“Care to explain? You seem to know a lot of what's going on.” Sans' tone was low, almost a growl. He was tired of this song and dance. He wanted answers, and he knew she knew something. “We're sitting in the dark here. She wont talk to us, it's like talking to a wall, it-”

“Sans!” Papyrus said sharply.

Sans sighed, he shouldn't have been getting angry with Ally, he knew this.

Ally sighed, “____ is a bit difficult to deal with...”

“That's an understatement.” This earned Sans a jab in his ribs from Papyrus. He grumbled softly and rubbed his ribs.

“I know you're frustrated, but please don't be angry with her.” She paused to collect her thoughts, “Could I ask what you do know of her? I can attempt to fill in the blanks, if only a little.”

Sans shrugged, “She takes medicine to balance chemicals or what ever it's called in her head.” Ally nodded as Sans continued, “And that she takes medicine for pain. She's oversensitive about her appearance and a lot of people make her nervous.”

Ally sat quietly and sighed, “Oversensitive about her appearance?”

Sans nodded and sighed, “It's something about you humans I don't get. You dwell on it too much.”

Ally chuckled softly and gave Sans a soft smile. “Simply put, yes. There's a lot of emphasis on looks in our culture, and it's especially more unforgiving for young women.” Sans could see that. He's seen movies, tv and magazine ads. Even visiting stores, there were sections devoted to “beauty”. It just didn't make sense to him. “I don't know how it was for your kind,” She paused and glanced between the two brothers before speaking again, “but there seems to be an understanding of each other? One that is deeper then your appearances?”

Sans sat there, thinking quietly to himself. It's true, appearances didn't matter. After all, everyone was so different. What mattered was their souls, and they were very fragile. He sighed and looked up at Ally, who was watching him, she was judging him. “We're not like humans.” He spoke slowly, carefully picking his words, “Our bodies are made of magic and dust.”

This time, Papyrus spoke up, “We can see what's inside.”

Sans smiled, that was the simplest way to say it. Ally seemed to accept this answer, but her smile faded. She sighed and spoke slowly.

“I'm happy to hear that is how you can view others, but sadly that is not the case up here. Here, it doesn't matter what your hopes, dreams, and the sorrows you have masked by skin and bones. You find this superficial yes?” She paused as Sans and Papyrus both nod. She smiled softly again. “That may be so.” She paused again and looked up, her stare hardening on the two, “Is is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.”

Sans wanted to protest, but he thought about her words carefully. Humans couldn't see what monsters could see. They can't see souls, let alone their own soul. Sans nodded slowly and he looked over to see Papyrus sitting, fidgeting with this hands.

“Pap? Do you want to make us some spaghetti?” This seemed to brighten him up. Papyrus nodded and slowly stood, he looked back at Ally and then to Sans. “Go on, don't worry about it.” He slowly walked around the couch and went into the kitchen. Papyrus wasn't stupid, but he didn't want his brother to be upset anymore then he was. Sans sighed and looked back at Ally, returning her glare. “This is something we're going to have to agree to disagree with then.”

She held her stare for a few moments longer before leaning back in her chair, “Yes, I can agree with that.” She sighed and looked towards the kitchen, hearing Papyrus rummage through cabinets and running water for his spaghetti.

“Could you answer my question now?” Sans spoke quietly and sat up straight slowly. “What is this accident, and why does it matter now?”

Ally nodded slowly, collecting her thoughts again, “I can't say much, I don't know all the details, but the result of it is how she is now.” She turned her attention back to Sans and took a slow breath, “All I know is that she was in a fire. She doesn't like talking about it, and mentioning it upsets her.” Ally sat quietly watching Sans before checking her watch, “Please forgive me, that is all I know.” She paused, “I do have one favor to ask of you.”

Sans wanted to know more, but she didn't seem like she was lying, it just created more questions. “What is it?”

She looked towards the hall before looking back to him, “Would you take a few things to ____ at the hospital?”

**~ * ~**

Sans wasn't sure how, but he sat in Ally's car as she drove quietly towards the hospital. Sans had convinced Papyrus that only one of them should visit, Ally agreed with him to take it slow. Sans watched the buildings pass by. He was still angry, and confused.

The night at the bar was going so well. He found it funny how you had taken Undyne's bait and showed her you were up to her challenge. After a few drinks you had opened up, smiling and laughing, or was it giggling? Either way, you clung to Papyrus and listened to stories of old times. He thought you could finally open up, but he didn't expect you to show the scars on your hand. He knew they upset you, and he wanted so badly to ask her about them, but he did hold himself to a higher standard. Sans wasn't the type to take advantage of someone.

“Something on your mind?” Ally spoke up, noticing his silence.

Sans turned away from his window and look ahead, they were pulling into the hospital parking lot. “There's a lot of questions.” He recalled his previous visits, and the staff refused him and his brother every time before. “You think they'll let me see her today?”

Ally chuckled softly, “I stopped by earlier, I was going to visit when I remembered I forgot to stop by her home to pick up a few things. The nurse at the desk was new. I've not seen her before.” Ally paused as she pulled into the visitor parking. She got out of her car and waited for Sans.

Sans slowly climbed out of the car and looked up at the hospital. You were in one of those rooms, and he wanted to see you. He needed answers. Ally started walking towards the doors and Sans quickly took off to follow her. Ally led the way to the elevators and the two road it to the 5th floor. The commons area was filled with a few families, enjoying the view from the windows and talking as a few of the children watched the TV.

“Let me speak with her,” Ally said in a hushed tone. It took Sans a moment to realize she had knelt down to whisper to him. She gave him a soft smile and he followed after her to the check in desk.

The nurse looked up, she was very young and wore a bright smile. She grabbed a clipboard and greeted the two, “Hello, how can I help you today?” Ally smiled back to her and motioned to Sans.

“This is my friend's first time here, and he would like to visit his friend in room 514.” She spoke confidently, Sans was impressed.

The nurse looked towards the small skeleton and then back up to Ally, “I um...” She placed her clipboard down and started to shuffle papers on the desk behind the counter, “I had a note for that room somewhere...where was it...” She spoke to herself quietly, continuing to search.

Ally leaned over the desk, “Could you call her and ask if she is taking visitors today?”

The nurse looked up and looked at the phone. She seemed to think about it for a second before reaching for it. She slowly dialed the number and cleared her throat. Sans could hear it ringing softly and held his breath when it stopped. This would be it, the determining factor.

“There is a visitor here to see you, do you want me to send them your way?” The nurse looked back up to the skeleton, in which Sans gave her a smile.

Sans watched as the nurse pressed the phone against her ear harder, and messed with the side of the phone. She took a moment before she spoke again. “Yes, just one. Do you want me to turn them away?”

Sans flinched, he was prepared to be turned away again. The nurse's focused expression changed to a smile and looked back to the monster, “Alright, now if you just head down the hall it will be the seventh door on your right.” She explained all of this while placing the phone on the receiver.

Sans sighed in relief, finally. Ally smiled and thankes the nurse and patted Sans on the shoulder. “Don't treat her like glass.” Ally didn't let him respond as she turned away and headed towards the elevator. She only turned to wave once the doors were closing.

Sans turned to look down the hallway and slowly began to walk. He shoved his hands into his pockets, his left hand knocking the phone charger. It was your charger, that would at least explain a little as to why you hadn't responded. As he passed the other patient's room, he heard more families laughing and talking amongst each other. Everything was happy, the rooms lit brightly and a few decorations for the various holidays were scattered along the walls, doors, and he could spot some on tables in the rooms.

Sans' pace slowed as he approached room 514. He stopped and looked inside, the lights were off, the only light coming from the falling setting sun. He would have thought you may have been asleep if it wasn't that you just spoke to the nurse on the phone. He slowly entered the room. He was determined to get answers. He wanted to scold you for making Papyrus worry. He wanted you to admit your lies, he wanted-

Sans froze as he took a few steps into the room. You were sitting on the bed staring out the window to the left. You hadn't heard him walk in, and his frustration and anger slowly left. For a moment he felt guilty.

Your hair was a mess. It hadn't looked like it has been washed in days. He traced your figure with his eyes and froze as his eyes stopped on your right shoulder. The sleeve was tied in a knot, but he could see that your arm was no longer there. He were relieved slightly, but the memory of Friday still unsettled him. He thought he had hurt you. He thought he had broken you. It had taken some convincing but he was able to ride in the ambulance, and that's where he was relieved of your fear.

He was scared, you had passed out, not sure if it was from drinking, the cold, or from the injury, it didn't matter. You weren't responding. As they drove to the hospital, the sirens echoed, but it all seemed so distant as they checked your pulse and cut away the sweater. It was amusing to think that none of you expected to see what you saw, but it was a relief none the less.

He had no idea. He didn't even know how to explain it. All he could do was watch as the medics cut the remaining straps and removed the arm. They placed the arm and the sweater aside to find where you were bleeding from.

You looked so small. Your shoulders hung low, and your skin pale in the low light. Sans felt that if he so much as breathed wrong, you would shattered. His frustration was all but gone when he removed his right hand from his jacket and lightly wrapped the back of his knuckles against the hard wood door. He held his breath as you slowly turned to look at him, he knew you weren't expecting him.

“Hey...” Sans spoke softly, his frustration not entirely gone, “You haven't checked your phone huh?” He couldn't think of anything to say. It was uncomfortable. He turned and closed the door and turned on the lights, he needed to ease this tension. He turned around to study you once again, but you had closed your eyes, shutting him out once again.

He walked over to the side of the bed and removed his left hand from his jacket. He slowly, carefully, cupped your chin and lifted it up to look at him. He needed to make sure you was okay. He could see it, your eyes looked right through him, you were going to apologize. He could see the guilt in your face.

“I-I'm-”

“Stop it, no more apologies.” His anger slowly coming back to him. He turned away with a frustrated sigh and spotted a chair in the corner of the room. This was going to take a while, Sans might as well pull up a chair.

He pulled the chair close to the bed and sat there silently. You tried to apologize again, but he wouldn't have it. He needed his questions answered. Would she even respond?

“Why hide this?” This was the first, and for the moment, confused him the most. He saw fear. You was scared, confused. He could see it all before you could open your mouth, you wasn't ready to speak, not yet. You had replied with another question. It was barely audible. His own heart sank as he watched the light leave your eyes slowly. Sans didn't want to push you too far, he didn't even know how far he could push you at this point. Sans rose to his feet and leaned against the bed, he didn't want to break you. “Can you please just talk to me?” That's all you wanted. He wanted you to speak, wanted to hear the words come from you directly. You were afraid, and he didn't want you to be.

You tried to change the subject, it was aggravating. He needed to show you. He wanted to show you how you felt one way but said another. Would you trust him?

“We're friends, right?”

There it was again. You were uncertain. You wanted to be. He could see you desperately wanted to say yes. It was the same on Friday, but it was more intense today. The intensity slowly faded, and he could see the guilt well up. The indescribable loneliness shrouded you.

“I wanted to be...”

He chuckled, it amused him at how differently you felt, and how guarded your responses were. You were afraid to get close, he could see that much. Sans repeated your words to himself as he left the side of the bed and walked towards the door. He wanted to know why you were so guarded, why you didn't speak what you felt. He wasn't expecting you to get angry. He watched as you degraded yourself. How could you be ashamed? Why did your appearance weigh a factor in your friendship. Maybe it was the lie, but was it that big of a deal? So you hid the fact you were missing an arm.

“This...this isn't me! This...this shell...this broken shell isn't me!”

Those were the first words you spoke that lined up with how you were feeling. You honestly thought he couldn't see the real you was terrified, lonely, breaking in front of him? Sans needed to show you, he needed you to understand. He stepped forward and shut off the lights, the sun had set, casting dark shadows in the room. Sans took a deep breath and focused, summoning his magic, lighting the room around him.

“There's something I need to show you.” He needed her to understand. It didn't take him long, but he sat to your left and tapped your knees. He needed you to relax. Sans waited as you settled, a new fear, but he reassured you that it would only feel weird.

Out in the open, it was much brighter then it was before. It's color dull, but pure. It was warm, it held your energy, your life. This was everything, everything you kept locked away. Sans wanted to touch it, he wanted to hold it, finally get the answers, but your panic stopped his train of thought. He placed his right hand on your forearm and smiled. It must have been jarring for you. You'd never seen this before, and his smile softened.

“This is the embodiment of your soul...” Sans said softly as he pulled his leg onto the bed to sit more comfortably.

Your hopes, dreams, memories, feelings, all were there in front of him. He admired the light and the indescribable lining that held it all together. This was something you couldn't see, but the best way to describe it to humans would be comparing it to a silver lining. It was something only monsters could see, and it was breathtaking. Sans traced the frail lining.

“Why show me this?”

Sans sighed as he watched the glow from your soul, “It's a bit easier to explain if you can see it for yourself.” Sans finally broke his stare away and looked up, “Am I a friend?”

It was fascinating. Fear, curiosity, and the loneliness all reacted. Maybe you didn't understand, but somewhere you understood you wanted to hide it. It wasn't going to be that easy, even if you could hide it, he would still see it.

He explained it, and you were embarrassed. He felt a little guilty for teasing her. You couldn't hide, and it was much easier to talk now. Sans wanted you to trust him, and this would be what makes or breaks this. He took a deep breath and cupped the air around your soul.

“Can I hold it?” He saw it light up, and watched the many emotions and feelings swirl around it. It pulsed in intensity, this was a good sign. After going back and forth with you, he knew he needed to spell it out so you'd understand, “I'm asking if you'll allow me to look into your soul...”

You were scared, and he could see that easily. Your soul could break if he wasn't careful. He didn't want to hurt you. He wanted to heal your clouded soul, he wanted to protect the intensity it fought to hide. He wanted to ease these dark emotions you felt, show you that you didn't need to be so afraid. It took some coaxing, but you allowed it. Sans gently held the heart, the warmth and energy of it enveloping him. He would finally have the answers he was looking for.

**~ * ~**

It was dark, and everything threatened to swallow him hole. Sans had to focus, he needed to find something to hold onto, something to ground him. It took a moment, but he felt you, he felt an intense fear and you came into view. He was relieved. You were so bright, a beacon that guided him through the darkness.

“____.” He spoke softly and took a hold of your hand. “I'm right here, sorry.” He wanted to thank her, but the darkness slowly faded, and a small bedroom came into focus. You had summoned a memory, unconsciously you wanted to hide it, but instead it began to play like a movie. The sounds, the smells, the fear. Sans could feel it all, and it took his breath away, shook him to his core. He needed to focus, he couldn't let you swallow him. He held your had tightly, and the sudden tug brought his focus to you. You had collapsed to the floor, you didn't want to be here. He just got here, he didn't want to pull away, not now. This was important.

“Hey? You okay?” Sans voice was soft, he needed to make sure she would be okay, but his attention was quickly drawn back to the unfolding scene.

A small girl? She appeared to be Frisk's age, if not just slightly older. Was she a family member, a friend? He knelt down beside you and asked what this was, but without words, he found his answer.

Alarms were blaring, and the smell of smoke filled the air around him. There was an incredible warmth, it wasn't comforting, it was terrifying. Sans had to remind himself, this was only a memory, this wasn't something that was happening right now. Despite telling himself this, it still felt real.

The scene was terrifying, he saw you, it had to be you. There was no one else there Why? Why were you alone? He could hear a growing roar, everything seemed to be going so fast. The girl, you, had hid under the bed as the flames from the broken door seeped in. The terrifying roar and heat made him hold his breath. If it wasn't for the scream and the immense pain he felt in his right eye, he would have pulled you out.

This was too much, Sans listened to the terrible screams, he squeezed your hand tightly, reassuring you he was still there. He wanted to go to the small child, he wanted to pull her from the flames, but he couldn't. Your hand gripped his tightly, and he couldn't move. Sans was frozen in fear, and the pain only became worse. It was sickening, he steadied himself. All he could do was watch. This was enough, he couldn't listen anymore. Everything felt like it was going to shatter around him. Sans squeezed your hand once again and pulled back. The scene faded from vision, and the intense feelings ebbed away.

**~ * ~**

The hospital room came into blurry focus. Sans magic faded and he could longer keep your soul manifested. It faded back into you and he shook. You still hadn't come back, and he watched you, afraid he had went to far. A moment later you gasped for air, and Sans felt relieved. He watched as your shoulders shook, and tears started to trail your cheeks. He did this, he made you cry, but he was happy, so happy you were okay. He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around you tightly and buried his face into the side of your neck.

“I'm sorry....I...I'm sorry...” Sans choked on his own words. You weren't going to break, you were okay. He squeezed tighter when he felt your hand grab onto his jacket. Everything was going to be alright.

You gasped, “Sans...it hurts...” You managed between sobs. Sans jumped back, he had completely forgotten the reason you were in the hospital, your injury. Sans apologized quickly and sat back, rubbing his eyes. His eyes looked up from his jacket, recalling what he just saw, “I...I wasn’t expecting that...Shit...” Sans took a deep breath and looked back to you. He got up slowly and walked over to turn on the lights. His eyes narrowed as he saw the same familiar dark stain daub over your shoulder. Blood. “You're bleeding!”

It worried him how little it seemed to bother you, but you had reached back and pressed a button on the wall. It wasn't long before the nurse from the desk had arrived, opening the door and peering in to see what was wrong. You requested a bandage and the nurse left the door open, returning shortly with a cart.

Sans took a seat nearby when you told him to. He was still worried about the blood, but he was going to trust your judgment with the nurse. He sat there studying you as you wiped your eyes. The light from your soul was brighter, it was calming. He didn't understand. He could still see the fear, but it wasn't as strong as before. There was something there, something he wasn't sure how to put words to.

The nurse had returned with a new gown and fresh bandages. You had turned to face him, turning your back to the nurse and moved your hair aside. The nurse seemed uncomfortable and looked at Sans. Expecting him to understand what she was wanting. When Sans didn't, she sighed.

“Um sir...may I ask you to step ou-” She was interrupted quickly by you.

“It's okay, he can stay.” You spoke softly and moved slightly to look back up at Sans. He was confused, but you pointed to the table near the bed, wanting him to grab a box. Sans nodded and collected it. It was a small protective container. “You can take a look inside.” Something you wanted to show him was in it. Sans looked back up at you and seeing the nurse push your gown forward was something he didn't expect, but it made sense. Sans looked back down at the container and slowly opened it. There was a small, oddly shape piece of glass sitting in a solution. He carefully picked it up, it wasn't just glass, it was made of something else as well, but he couldn't figure it out. Sans rolled it over in his hand and nearly dropped it and the container. It looked like your eye, or at least part of it.

“What?!” It was more surprising then anything. He looked back up at you as you held the fabric of your gown up, covering your chest. It didn't take long before you laughed and confirmed it. You pushed the hair that always hung in your face away, and Sans could see the sunken, drooping eyelid. It was, odd. He didn't even notice it until now. It took him a moment to realize you had outstretched your hand, apparently wanting the small piece he held in his hand. Sans quickly handed it over, and blushed lightly as your gown fell forward. He didn't see much, but he looked away. I guess it made sense you couldn't hold the gown and grab the eye at the same time. You took your hand back and Sans could see from the corner of his eye you go to put it in.

“Look okay?” You asked after a few moments. Sans looked back and studied your face. He never paid it much attention before, but this explained a little more.

The nurse was getting ready to leave when you requested the box on the dresser. Sans watched as the nurse placed it on the bed and left. You turned to him and smiled, what were you up to? Sans had gotten up and slowly walked to the other side of the bed as you patted the mattress next to you. Sans took a seat on the side of the bed and looked at the box before nervously looking back at you, surprised to see a grin growing on your face.

“Can you give me a _hand_?”

You didn't even skip a beat, Sans quickly caught his jaw and tried to hide the expression on his face. You just made a pun, right? You just made a pun about your missing arm. He had to make sure.

“Did you just...make a pun?”

Your grin never left her face, “That's _right_.”

_Oh god...her humor is terrible._

It still made him laugh, though. Sans opened the box and took it out to hold. It was strangely heavy. He questioned a few things from it and you told him what he wanted to know. It was strange how he never noticed before. Sans put the arm back into the box and closed it up. He got up slowly and went to place the box back on the dresser.

“There's one more thing...” Your voice was quiet, “Might be easier to stand closer.”

Sans watched you carefully, what else was there? As he approached, you turned and showed him the open back of the gown. It wasn't long before he understood what that “one thing” was. His eyes trailed the scar that trailed from your lower jaw line, down your neck, disappearing under the bandaged that covered the top and back of your shoulder. There had to be more scars under there as well. The skin was tight, it was shiny, and the color paled in comparison to that on the left. Your back was so small, and his eyes were drawn to your curved spine.

Sans smiled as he finally realized what he saw from your soul. It was a relief. How long had you kept all those feelings locked inside? Letting it eat away? Sans lifted his left hand and slowly trailed his index and middle finger down your spine. Your back was small, but it was strong.

You gasped and Sans quickly realized what he was doing, “S-sorry!” He withdrew his hand and looked back over the scars again. These were the result of the fire, and it amazed you how strong you were. How did you survive? What drove you to survive?

“That...that's some...” Sans stumbled on the words. He wanted to let you know he understood. He searched his thoughts, this must have been how you felt every time he asked what was wrong. “I mean...I guess I understand why you couldn't talk...couldn't say...shit...” He cursed himself, he was normally able to keep his thoughts coherent. Why couldn't he find the words now?

You turned to look at the skeleton, Sans looked back to you, noticing the tears falling down your cheeks once again.

“Hey...what's wrong? I didn't hurt you did I?” He took a few steps closer and leaned against the bed, finding your hand and gently holding it. “I'm sorry if-” He was taken back when you started to laugh. He couldn't help but smile when he caught sight of your soul. It was shining brightly, and only he could see this.

**~ * ~**

Sans had left the room while you changed your gown, only returning when you called him back. He gave you the same smile he away wore, and you quickly returned it.

“Could you tie this for me?” You chuckled softly, holding the shoulder up.

“Yeah.” He said as he walked up to your side, tying a knot in the back so you could finally rest your arm.

“Thank you, Sans.” You rubbed your tired eyes as he walked to the other side of the bed and reached into his pocket.

“Hey, Ally wanted me to take this to you.” Sans pulled a small black cord from his pocket and held it in his outstretched hand.

“Ally? You saw her? Why didn't see come with you?” You asked and he shrugged.

“I guess she figured we needed our space.” Sans took his seat and pulled out his phone. “Do you mind if I call Papyrus?”

You nod, “Actually, may I speak to him?”

Sans smiled as he dialed the number, “I'm sure he'd like that.”

He handed you his phone and you looked at the screen, all you needed to do was press the call button, and it would ring. You took a slow breath and pressed it. You could hear the pause and then the ringing, how long would it take for Papyrus to pick up? Two, it took him two rings.

“SANS?” You guessed that there was no need for hellos between the two, but you also could hear worry and sadness in his voice. You felt guilty, and you almost lost your will to speak, but you had to.

“H-hey Papyrus...” You spoke slowly and quickly had to pull the phone away from your ear.

“____?! HOW DO YOU HAVE SANS PHONE? IS HE THERE WITH YOU? ARE YOU OKAY?” Papyrus was firing off questions, it was overwhelming, but it made you happy. You could hear the excitement in his voice.

“I'm okay Papyrus,” you paused and gave Sans a small smile, “Sans is with me, he is letting me use his phone.” You took another breath, collecting your thoughts before Papyrus could fire off another round of questions, “I wanted to apologize for not allowing you to visit...” You were ready, you were ready for him to scold you. To tell you how stupid you were and that you were a terrible friend.

“I forgive you.” His tone had lowered, and you had to pull the phone back to your ear to hear him.

“Papyrus?” You questioned, your voice cracking slightly.

“You weren't feeling okay right?” Papyrus' voice sounded small, but it was affectionate. You didn't want to cry again, your eyes ached, and you laughed softly.

“I'm feeling better now...Sans and I talked a little bit.” You smiled and held the phone tightly. You missed him, you had missed Sans. You missed home. “I...I'll have my phone back later...I also want you to visit...”

“I CAN COME NOW!” Papyrus yelled from the other end.

“No-no!” You couldn't help but laugh, “Visiting hours are going to be over soon...tomorrow. I want you to visit tomorrow if you have time.”

You could hear the disappointment from his side of the phone, but he assured that he would visit tomorrow. You smiled and glanced over at Sans. He smiled back and held up his hand.

“Papyrus? Sans wants to talk to you, hold on.” You carefully handed over the phone and he nodded thanks.

“Hey bro, I'll be home soon.” Sans spoke softly on the phone. Before he placed the phone to his ear he had lowered it's volume. You chuckled softly and listened when the hospital intercom announced that visiting hours was ending. Sans didn't stay on the phone long and hung up after a moment. He sighed as he listened to the announcement and then back to you. “You going to be okay?”

You gave him a nod and grabbed the cord, “Could you plug this in and plug in my phone before you go?”

He laughed and took the cord back from you and found an empty wall jack near the bed. He picked up your phone and plugged it in before placing it back on the table. Sans looked back at you, you knew he didn't want to leave.

“I'll be okay Sans...really. I mean it this time.” You laughed lightly and looked back towards the phone. “I'll call you if anything is wrong, okay?”

Sans gave you a nod and slowly walked towards the door, opening it slowly. Out in the hall, he could see nurses were bringing evening meals and medicine to patients. “Want the door propped open?” You gave him a nod and he smiled. “I'll stop by tomorrow in the morning with Papyrus. Is there a good time?”

“After 11, the doctors like to visit early. I'll know when I can go home tomorrow.” You smiled and yawned. Today took away all your energy, emotionally and physically. Sans gave you a small waved before leaving and you listened as his footsteps quietly faded as he reached the common area.

You didn't want him to leave, but the nurses would be by to shoo him away soon enough anyway. He said he would be back tomorrow, you could wait until then. You glanced over at your phone and pulled it to you, careful not to unplug it. You opened it to the black screen with the battery logo on it, indicating it was charging. You held the power button and it slowly began to start up, you'd let it charge up fully later, but you wanted to view your messages. It didn't take long until the phone began to vibrate violently in your hand. It took a few minutes, but it finally settled and you saw the many missed messages.

You opened up the first set of messages and smiled.

_**HUMAN? WE ARE HERE TO SEE YOU.** _

_**I GUESS YOU'RE NOT FEELING WELL, SANS AND I WILL RETURN TOMORROW.** _

You sighed softly, feeling guilty for not reading at these sooner. You wanted to see them, but you were scared to look before. You sighed softly and continued to read them. You had a few from Sans as well. You could tell a few of them were bitter, but the tone had slowly changed.

_**____? You're scaring Papyrus. He's worried.** _

_**I'm worried, what's going on?** _

_**Please, just pick up your phone.** _

You held the phone and closed the messages. They were worried about you. Just a little over a week ago you wouldn't have thought there would be people who considered you their friend, let alone worry about you. You told yourself that you were just fine alone, that you didn't need anyone. You realized how wrong you were, you were glad you had friends now, glad they cared. You didn't want to lose them, you owed it to them to do better. You jumped slightly as the phone buzzed in your hand. It was a multimedia message from Sans. You opened it and smiled. Sans was already home, you didn't understand how, but he stood next to Papyrus who was holding a plate of spaghetti. Pasta sauce spelled the words “Come home soon.” You scrolled down the message and smiled.

_**Goodnight.** _

You placed the phone down and ran your fingers through your messy hair. You needed a shower. Sans just saw you after all, so it didn't matter too much. You fixed your hair up the best you could and held the phone up. You smiled and took a photo and turned the phone back around. It was the best you could do, and you didn't think they would care. You attached the photo to your message and typed out a small reply.

_**Goodnight.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again for continuing to support this work. I needed to separate the tone of last chapter with this one for both the reader and Sans.
> 
> I wanted to show both sides of the coin and hope you don't feel this was lazy on my part. I'll have fresh content to work on now and things can only move forward from here.
> 
> I haven't forgotten about Grillby either, I have a plan for making it up to him soon.
> 
> I don't have much to say here today. I'm going to start right away tomorrow on chapter 10. Finally...the HOLIDAY. I want to write something cute :) Thanks again for reading, see you soon!
> 
> shameless tumblr plug:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/kioribug


	10. To Persevere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another lovely piece from makkurohoshi!  
> http://kioribug.tumblr.com/post/136894596187/kioribug-i-promise-this-will-be-the-last-ill
> 
> I can't tell you how honored I feel when you guys submit fanart. I love them so much! 
> 
> Finally...we're at the Holiday, enjoy~

Wednesday came and went faster than you had wanted it to. Papyrus and Sans both stopped by promptly at eleven that morning. Papyrus was so happy to see you. At first you were worried, but Papyrus accepted your apology for ignoring his messages and calls. He truly was just happy you were feeling better. The brothers wanted to know when you would be able to come home, but since your cut had reopened the other night, your doctor wanted to keep you. He would get back to you sometime on Thursday if you were going to be able to go home for the holiday. You didn't want to worry them, but ensured them that you would let them know as soon as you could leave.

Thursday morning you had woken up to the familiar stabbing pain. It had taken a while to call a nurse, but they brought something for you to take that seemed to settle the pain for the most part. You didn't sleep well, and you weren't sure if you would have the energy to entertain guests for too long today.  You just wanted to sleep in your bed at home.

You were leaning back against your pillow with your legs drawn close, propping your sketch pad up against them. You were sketching the city's view from your window. There wasn't much to give you inspiration in your room, outside was much more interesting after all. It still relaxed you none the less. It kept your mind off of the numbing pain in your shoulder and passed the time.

It wasn't long before the familiar laughter of a certain skeleton could be heard from the commons area down the hall. You sighed, took a deep breath, and put on your best “happy” face you could muster. You heard a soft knock followed by a very energetic Papyrus running into the room, holding a bag in his arms. Sans, who you assumed was the one that knocked, gave a small shrug as he entered the room.

“Morning guys.” You said quietly, lightly waving the tip of your pencil at the two in place of an actual wave.

Papyrus seemed eager about something while Sans watched you carefully.

“You feeling alright?” He questioned, concern growing on his face.

Honestly, you weren't at your best. You had very little sleep, and you still felt some pain. You may have been pale, but you weren't positive. You gave him a nod and offered another smile.

“Yeah, just my norm.” You spoke softly and shrugged.

“Is it your shoulder?” Sans asked pointing towards the bandage.

“No Sans, it's hard to explain.” You chuckle and sat your pencil down next to you. He felt guilty, thinking he was the reason your wound reopened. Maybe it was when he hugged you tightly, or maybe you moved wrong yourself, you weren't sure. You didn't want him blaming himself. Your answer seemed to confuse him. You absentmindedly went to clutch your elbow, only noticing when your hand felt nothing.

Sans noticed and narrowed his eyes at the empty space, “You seem to do that a lot. Whenever you feel “pain” you would grab your elbow.” He paused and looked back at the box on the dresser, “I can't imagine that your arm there had felt.”

You thought for a moment before you picked up your pencil and tapped the side of the stump of your shoulder. When you had his attention you traced an invisible line from it down, stopping where your elbow would have been before continuing the rest of the length of the arm. You sighed when he gave you an even more confused look.

“It's hard to explain...but the pain I feel comes from my hand.” You stumbled over your words as you brought your pencil back up to your head and lightly tapped it, “I guess...it's like...it's like my head doesn't remember I don't have an arm sometimes?” You don't know if you sounded convincing, but he still didn't seem to understand. “I'm sorry...I don't know how to explain it better.”

Sans shrugged, “I just don't get it, kid.” He leaned back against the wall and looked up to his brother. Papyrus had been very quiet while you and Sans were speaking.

“Papyrus?” You asked as he perked up, clutching the bag tightly. “What do you have there?” He grinned and jumped to sit in the chair next to your bed. He shoved it onto the bed next to you that forced you to move your sketch pad from you lap. You gave it a quizzical look before looking back up at him. “What's this?”

“HUMAN!” Papyrus paused for a moment, remembering where he was, “Tomorrow is the day Santa comes. I was worried that he would not be able to find you and I did not want you to miss out!” He pushed the bag closer to you and continued. “Sans said not to worry, but I cannot let a friend go without gifts on such a day!”

You couldn't help but laugh until you realized he was actually giving you something. “Papyrus, you shouldn't have.” In all honesty, you never paid much attention to the holidays. You would receive a card from your therapist, and Ally would make it a point to give you a small box of chocolate covered cherries. “I don't even have anything for you in return.”

“Nonsense! This is a time for giving! You have opened your home to my brother and myself. The best thing you can do right now is to get well and come home!” He couldn't push the bag any further towards you, you smiled and picked it up.

“Shouldn't I open this tomorrow then?” Your question was quickly answered with a furious shake of his skull.

“I want to witness your joy and happiness when you open your gift! You must open it now!” Papyrus leaned in closer, glancing at the bag and you.

Looks like you didn't have a choice, you tilted the bag over and removed a bit of the loose paper, slowly pulling out a soft folded piece of white fabric. You shook it, trying to knock the bag away before settling it in your lap. Slowly you unfolded it, it twist and turned in your lap and you caught a glimpse of the front of it. It was a white slip on sweater that had a black arrow pointing to your right that says “I'm with a COOL DUDE”. You looked up to Papyrus, which so happened to be where the arrow was pointing and couldn't help but laugh.

“I love it.” You slowly traced the stitching on the sweater before turning to Papyrus. You slowly scooted over on the mattress and pulled him into a hug. “Thank you.”

Papyrus gently wrapped his arms around your waist and returned your hug before he noticed your open sketchpad. “Oh! What are you sketching now human?” He quickly reached for it and let you go to lean back in his sweat. He looked over the page and turned to look out the window. “Wowie human!” He paused and looked to Sans, who appeared to be nodding off leaning against the wall. “SANS!”

Papyrus' raised tone stirred him and he lazily looked up at him, “What's up bro?”

“We're here to visit ____, you can sleep later Sans!” Papyrus scolded.

Sans shrugged and walked over to his side to take a peek at the sketch pad. He whistled and looked back up to you and gives you a smile. “That's pretty good.”

“Did you not sleep well?” Sans answers your question with a shrug and starts to walk back over to the wall. “Hey,” You grabbed his attention and tapped your feet under the blankets. “you can sit on the bed, don't want you falling over.”

A sly grin spread across his face as he walked to the foot of the bed and took you up on your offer. You didn't expect him to pull himself back to lean against your legs. He lazily rolled his head back to give you an upside down smile, “Don't mind if I do.”

You fold the sweater the best you could and gently pushed it under Sans' skull, “I'll wear it later when it gets colder.” He appreciated the gesture and shoved his hands into his pockets, making himself quite comfortable. He surprisingly didn't feel heavy, but now you didn't want to adjust your legs, not wanting to disturb him. Papyrus wanted to object but his train of thought was interrupted by his cell phone going off.

His face lit up as he answered hastily, setting your sketch pad back down beside you on the bed.

“HELLO TINY HUMAN!”

You watched Papyrus hold a conversation on the phone before tapping Sans lightly on the skull. He rolls his head back to look at you through half-lidded eyes, “The only 'tiny human' he knows is Frisk right?” Sans smiled and nodded. This baffled you, “Then how...?” You motion over towards Papyrus. Sans gives you another smile and shrug before settling himself back against your legs. “Magic huh?” At first you are only teasing but a simple nod from Sans has you confused all over gain. “You guys are very strange...”

“I find you strange as well.” Sans slowly retorted.

You chuckle lightly as you position your sketch pad back in your lap and picked up your pencil to begin drawing again. Papyrus wore an expression you've seldom see him wear. It was almost the same as when he would go on about puzzles or spaghetti, but there was something else, a different fondness to it.

You flipped to a new page and began sketching, softly beginning to hum as you focused on your work. Sans stirred slightly, a soft snore could be heard coming from him. This was nice. Having the two of them visiting you made the hospital feel like not such a lonely place. You still hated staying here, but it was a bit more tolerable now.

You heard Papyrus finish his call and you quickly flipped back to your previous sketch of the skyline. You gave him a smile as you outlined a few of the shadows and slowly shaded them in.

Papyrus walked over to the side of the bed and glared down at Sans, “You're such a lazybones!” He paused before he remembered what he was going to say, “Brother, Toriel, and Frisk want us to stay over this evening so we do not have to worry about the traffic in the morning.”

You think you may have heard the name Toriel before, but you couldn't place where. You shook the thought from your head, it wasn't really your business after-all.

Papyrus turned back to you, “You are sure that you will not be able to return home today?”

You wanted to tell him, yes, but your doctor hasn't even stopped by today. “I don't know Pap, I've not seen anyone today about going home yet.”

Papyrus grinned and quickly posed, motioning to himself, “I, The Great Papyrus, cannot let you stay here another day!” Before you could object Papyrus bolted out of the room, you could hear him at a distance heading towards the nurse's station. You sighed and pressed your face against your art pad.

“Don't want to leave?” Sans quietly spoke up.

“No...that's not it...” You raise your head so you wouldn't be muffled, “I thought you were asleep?”

Sans shrugged, “I'm a light sleeper.” He rolled his head back again to look at you, “Anything bothering you?”

You shrug lightly, “I just don't want to break his heart. I don't want to ruin your guy's Christmas.” You paused, “You have family and friends to spend tomorrow with right?  With Toriel?”

Sans studied your face, when you made eye contact you looked away, you didn't want to talk about this. You sighed softly to yourself, here you were again, closing yourself off.

“What about you?” Sans question was slow, and you could tell that there was a slight hesitation to it.

“Ah...yeah....kinda?” You spoke softly.

“____?” Sans sat up and turned to face you properly. “About your accident-” Sans was quickly cut off when Papyrus came running back into the room.

“You're awake Sans! Good! ____'s doctor will be here soon.” Papyrus was all smiles as he turned and gave you a thumbs up through his glove.

“My doctor's coming here? Now?” You questioned, almost unable to believe him.

“Yes! The nice human at the desk said that he was behind, but after speaking to him on the larger phone he would be up soon.” Papyrus glanced back at the door, almost expecting to see your doctor walk through right then.

You shook your head, “Papyrus...don't get your hopes up yet. He would need to check to make sure my scar hasn't opened again.” You really didn't want to break his heart. You looked towards the door, you were nervous. Would he let you go home today? You made eye contact with Sans once again and averted your eyes. Why did he always have to ask you hard questions?

Sans slowly stood up from the bed, shoving his hands into his pockets and began to walk towards the door. He was going to walk out into the hall when a middle-aged man holding a clipboard and a small tube blocked him. He gave Sans a bright smile and peaked his head around the corner, leaning over the shorter skeleton,

“You seem in higher spirits today.” He walked passed Sans and quickly moved to stand to the right side of the bed, he studied your face before speaking again, “Still having issues sleeping?” You lightly flinched as you felt this thumb brush against the skin under where your right eye would have been. “Other than sleep, any other issues?”

You shook your head slightly and turned to face him, “Everything else is normal.”

“Pain?” He questioned as he placed the clipboard and tube down on the side of the bed and reached behind your neck and slowly undo the tie.

You quickly held the front of your gown as he lightly moved it to the side to remove the bandage.

“I had another attack this morning, but it's doing better now after the medicine the staff brought started to work.” You spoke quickly. “If...if it looks okay, may I go home?” He seemed to smile, but he was out of your field of view. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Sans watching him, his eyes slightly narrowed. “Sans?” You asked softly, “Is something wrong?”

Dr. Harson looked up and smiled, “I guess that was pretty rude of me. My name is David Harson, but you can just call me Dr. Harson. I've been taking care of ____ here since she was about eight years old.” He chuckled lightly and glanced back to your bandage, “I'd shake your hands, but if you want Miss ____ to go home today then I would like to quickly check to see how this is healing.”

“Really?” You were surprised. “I can go home?”

“Let me see how it looks first, if it looks like it's healing well I'll consider it.” He smiled as he finished removing the bandage.

“Human Doctor, please let ____ come home.” Papyrus spoke up suddenly, “We would like to have her home for Christmas dinner.”

He looked up to that with a raised eyebrow, “Oh? Not visiting St. Catherines this year?”

With that question you froze, your mouth began to move on its own, “I...I...would like to go...but I can't if I'm here...”

Dr. Harson seemed to take note of your reaction to his question, “____ take a deep breath.”

You forced yourself to take a breath, coughing slightly as you forced the air into your lungs.

“I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to upset you.” He looked up at the two skeletons, “Are these two new friends of yours?  I've not seen them visit you before.”

You quickly nod, “Roommates...” You wanted to change the subject.

This seemed to make Dr. Harson smile as he addressed the two, “Can I trust you two to make sure she doesn't do any heavy lifting and take it easy?”

Papyrus smiled and nodded, “Yes! As her friend, I will make sure she is resting and well taken care of!”

You blushed lightly, you didn't need them to keep an eye on you.

“Alright, ____ I am going to write up a set of instructions you need to follow, and if there are any issues you will need to come back. No exception.” Dr. Harson grabbed the small tube from the bed, opening it and applying the gel across your back.

“I can go home?” You asked.

“THIS MEANS YOU CAN HAVE DINNER WITH US!” Papyrus couldn't contain his excitement any longer.

Dr. Harson slowly stood up and picked up his clipboard. “I'll send the nurse in with the papers you will need to fill out. I'm going to send you home with a different prescription regarding your pain, so don't take the ones I prescribed last time.” He lightly ruffled your hair, “Try not to drink so much next time. Don't want to see you back in here.”

You blushed and hid your face but nodded, “Yes, sir.”

**~ * ~**

You had finally returned home that evening. The paperwork and your medicine took a while to sort out, but you had your instructions. The first thing you did was take a shower. Your few minutes of peace was only that, a few minutes. Papyrus hurried you along, wanting you and Sans to get ready quickly. You dried yourself off pretty and pulled on the sweater that Papyrus had given you earlier. Once you all had your bags packed you climbed into the car and were on your way to Toriel and Frisk's home. Papyrus had insisted Sans drive this time so he could sit in the back in case you needed anything.

You were frustrated. Papyrus was following you around like a puppy. He refused to let you do or carry anything yourself. You kept messing with the zipper on your coat and biting your lower lip when Papyrus spoke up.

“Human? What is the matter?” He asked, trying his best to keep his tone at a normal volume.

“It's nothing Paps...” You sighed softly. “Could you tell me about Toriel? I haven't met them yet.”

“Toriel? Oh! You mean Frisk's mom.” Papyrus smiled, “She was the queen of all Monsters while we were in Underground.  She's really nice!  Sans gets along well with her.”

You choked on your spit and quickly turned to look at him, “What? The Queen?” You looked down at your coat, remembering what you were wearing and what you brought, “I don't have anything nice to wear! Why didn't you warn me?!”  The rest of what Papyrus said was lost after you heard the word "queen".

“Relax, she gave up that title a while ago. You'll be fine.” Sans laughed from the front seat. You were glad to know he was in a better mood than earlier.

You couldn't relax. Knowing she was the queen at one point was still intimidating. You took a slow breath, “Who's all going to be there?”

“Asgore, our king, may be the only one to show up tomorrow, Undyne and Alphys went to the beach this year,” Sans replied as he turned down a suburban street.

The homes on this street were very small, but beautiful. The people who lived here would more than likely need to be making more than your average college student could afford. It wasn't long before Sans pulled up beside a particular cozy looking home. The two brothers both got out of the car and opened the trunk to fetch their bags. You slowly followed after them, trying to at least grab your art bag before Papyrus could.

The door to the home opened and Frisk came running out to tackle Papyrus.

“Frisk dear! Please put on a coat!” A worried, yet gentle, voice called from the house. You watched as a woman, covered in white fur from head to toe with a pair of horns and long ears, appeared at the opened front door. She reminded you of a goat, but you knew you shouldn't ask. It wasn't long the three of you gathered the bags from the trunk and walked up the sidewalk to meet with the woman, Frisk riding on top of Papyrus' shoulders. “I'm so glad you boys could come again this year.” She gave the two of them a hug. It wasn't long before she noticed you, “Oh my! Are you ____? Papyrus and Sans have told me much about you.”

You offered a nervous smile and nodded, “I..I am. It's nice to meet you!”

Toriel let go of the two brothers and approached you slowly, she carried herself well, it must still be a habit from once being royalty. “Are you well my child? I was told that you were staying at the hospital.” She gently placed her hands...paws...whatever on your shoulders. Her expression was that of concern, it was soft, not scary.

“They let me come home today.” You said, your shoulders sagged slightly.

“You must be terribly tired, come in. Let's get out of this cold and you can have a seat inside.” She quickly turned to her side and placed her hand on your upper back, slowly guiding you in. You sighed softly, her hand was very warm and comforting.

You and your friends were quickly whisked into the foyer, a large living room was to your right and what looks like a dining room and kitchen was to your left. The home was warm, inviting, and littered with decorations for the holiday. Sans strolled into the living room to admire the tree.

“Gee Tori, you sure _spruced_ up the place.” Sans pulled his hand out of his jacket as he turned and pointed with his thumb to the Christmas tree.

Toriel and Frisk, who was still seated on top of Papyrus' shoulders, giggled at Sans' pun. Papyrus groaned as he set the bags down and grabbed onto Frisk's feet to keep them from falling off.

“Oh if you like this, _yule_ just love what's for dinner tomorrow.” Toriel smiled and turned to face the distressed Papyrus and retrieved the giggling Frisk from his shoulders. “Feel free to make yourselves at home, we'll settle sleeping arrangements later this evening. If there is anything you need feel free to ask.” Toriel turned towards the kitchen with Frisk in arms, “Now, how about you help me make some sandwiches for everyone?” As the two walked away Papyrus turned to help you remove your winter wear, he was grumbling, but he still wore a smile.

**~ * ~**

The night was slow and uneventful, Sans was busy joking with Toriel while Papyrus and Frisk played a board game together off to the side. You sat on the couch, leaning your right side against it's arm. It was a very warm atmosphere. Between the idle chit chat and the soft laughter, it made you happy, but uneasy. You were nervous about not wearing your harness, this would have been the first time since you received your first one that you went out to any public gathering. Frisk hadn't seem to notice yet, and you've not seen Toriel since she went off to the kitchen. It was nice not having the sling over your neck, you weren't sure how you were going to handle questions if anyone asked.

It was a strange feeling. You were anxious. You must be intruding, you've not said a word to anyone since you sat down in the living room. Every once in a while Frisk and Papyrus would smile at you and you'd smile back and wave. You couldn't get up to go over to them. They were having so much fun, you didn't want to interrupt them. You could hear the laughter from the kitchen, Sans was happily chatting with Toriel and the two seemed perfectly happy with each others company. You'd catch the occasional pun, and couldn't help buy smile. You didn't want to be a third wheel to their conversation. After all, Sans seemed to have a soft fondness for her. You couldn't help but feel saddened by it. You shrugged it away and closed your eyes. Your eyes were heavy, you leaned back against the couch, sitting quietly to the background noise around you. Maybe you should have stayed home. Family get togethers weren't your thing. You stirred slightly when you felt the weight on the couch shift. You opened your eyes slowly and looked to your left to see the same familiar blue jacket that belonged to Sans.

“Hey kid, did I wake you?” Sans asked quietly, smiling softly as he spotted Papyrus and Frisk playing a board game.

“No, was just listening.” You replied and stretched. “Today was nice...this couch is so much more comfortable than the hospital bed.” You chuckled as you wiggled and pressed your back into the cushion, maybe he wouldn't notice how anxious you were feeling.

Sans laughed as he watched you, “You can join them if you want. Unless you enjoy being a couch potato.”

You smiled lightly and directed your glance towards the two in the corner, “Nah...everyone is happy doing their own thing. I'm okay here. I don't want to intrude.”

Sans went to speak when Toriel walked back in, “Who wants to listen to a story?” She held a book and walked to her chair which was near the tree. Papyrus and Frisk jumped to their feet and went to take a seat on the floor in front of her chair.

“THE ARTISTIC HUMAN TELLS GREAT STORIES AS WELL!” Papyrus said with glee as he picked Frisk up and pulled them into his lap.

“Is that so?” Toriel smiled as she removed a pair of reading glasses from a case and gently put them on. “Would you like to read a story?”

You shook your head a little too quickly, “No..no...It's fine.” You slowly rose to your feet, “I think I would like to go for a walk...get some fresh air.”

“I'll keep you company.” Sans was already to his feet and walking towards the door, waving back at Toriel, Frisk, and Papyrus. You were surprised but quickly followed after him. You smiled towards the group and quickly ducked into the foyer.

As you turned the corner Sans waiting as he held your coat. You bit your lower lip and grabbed your hat from the rack and pulled it on, it was crooked, but you didn't care. You grabbed your scarf and hastily wrapped it around your neck, hiding your chin in the fabric. Sans held up your coat but you hastily took it from you. He let go and watched as you fumbled with it. Normally it would have been zipped up, but having the brothers refuse to let you do anything yourself since you were released was drawing on your last nerve. You couldn't even take a walk without one of them sticking to your side now.

You finally slipped your arm into its place and twisted it back to grab the collar. You swung it around your shoulder before grabbing and pulling it closed around you. You didn't want to fumble with the zipper and walked over towards your boots. You slip your feet into them, leaning down to make sure your heel was flat with the bottom before opening the front door.

Sans watched quietly as you hastily put on your winter clothes and followed after you, keeping a few steps behind you. You didn't need him to follow you, you wanted to turn around and yell at him, to let you have some space, to allow you to breathe and calm yourself. You finally had to stop as you began to make yourself light headed. When did you start breathing faster? You tried to take a deep breath and found you couldn't. It became easier when you felt a gentle hand rub your back. You quickly turned, of course, it was Sans. You looked away and focused on your breathing. Here you go again, why couldn't you just act normal?

“Want to sit for a few?” Sans asked quietly. He motioned towards a bus stop's bench before leading you over to it.

You took a seat and looked away, as he knelt down in front of you. “Hey, kid...” He said softly as he took your hand in his, “If you're having a bad time, I can take you home.” He paused to meet your eyes. This felt oddly familiar to the night you broke down in front of him at the park. You didn't want to repeat that, you just needed to clear your head. You've been taking your medicine after all.  You shouldn't be feeling like this. You finally took a deep breath and smiled.

“I'm fine...I just...I'm not good with this...” You said softly. It was a little easier talking to Sans about some things now at least. “I'm..I'm trying Sans...” You said softly, you weren't crying, but you could feel a tight knot twist in your stomach.

“This have to do with earlier?” Sans asked softly. You bit your lower lip. Between Sans asking about how you spent your Christmas, and the comment your doctor let slip, you felt he could piece it together, at least most of it. You sat there a moment and nodded. He gently squeezed your hand, “Anywhere you want to go?”

You looked away from him in thought for a moment before returning, “Can...can we go to St. Catherines?”

**~ * ~**

The two of you sat quietly as you road the bus and then boarded a subway. Sans didn't ask questions, you made him promise to wait for you at your destination. You couldn't speak about it until then. You needed to mentally prepare yourself, and you were happy that Sans was respecting your wish. He hated promises, but he agreed. When it came to your stop, you lightly tugged on the arm of his jacket and the two of you departed the subway car and made your way to the exit. It was late, the trip was long, maybe nearing close to two hours. Sans made a call, letting Toriel know that the two of you would be back late. She was worried, but he assured her that everything was okay.

Your pace slowed as you neared the destination. The buildings loomed over you as you directed Sans down a smaller, less busy street. To your right was a tall brick fence and in front of you a black barred gate that hung slightly ajar. You stopped before passing it, tightly gripping Sans jacket, requiring him to stop. He had been looking around and stumbled at your sudden stop.

“We're here...” You said quietly and looked towards the gate. Sans followed your gaze and saw the letters above the. Written in the curve of the metal bars above read “ St. Catherines Cemetery”. He stared at it for a moment before slowly returning his gaze to you. If he didn't figure it out before, there was no way to hide it now.

“This okay?” He asked quietly.

You gave him a small nod as you took a shaky step towards the gate. You stopped when you felt Sans hand wrap around your wrist. You didn't want to look back. You twisted your wrist and grabbed his hand. “Just...don't say anything...just come please...”

Sans loosened his grip and slowly took a few steps towards you. You let go of his wrist and pulled it away. He released it willingly, allowing you to grab onto the right side of your coat, pulling it close around you.

The two of you walked quietly passed the many marble and limestone grave markers. The path was lit well enough, but the standing snow made it a bit slippery at times, the two of you walked slowly due to this. It was like a different world. The noise of cars didn't exist here. The walls were surrounded by thick trees, but due to the season, they eerily shadowed over the grounds. You slowed your pace and stopped, looking down a particular row before turning back to Sans.

“Could you, could you wait here? I want to speak to them alone first...” Your voice cracking, but you didn't shed any tears. He gave you slow nod.

“I'll be right here.” Sans was uncomfortable, you felt bad for pulling him along, but you couldn't say the words allowed, you've never tried, and they were extremely hard to admit. You lightly squeezed the fabric of his jacket before slowly turning to walk down the row of barely lit stones.

**~ * ~**

Sans stood there and watched as you slowly walked away. Your soul had been so dark on the journey here, and many times Sans wanted to ask if you wanted to turn back. He made a promise, so he held back. He knew you wanted him to be here. You were trying to open up, but something still stopped you. Kept you from speaking the words that were held so tightly in your chest. You were making the effort to reach out this time. How could he deny you that?

You had stopped at a stone and knelt down on the path. Your expression was soft, he knew you couldn't see him now. You were too focused on the stone. You moved your scarf away and mouthed words. The corners of your mouth twitched. A smile would form, and as soon as it did it was gone. It didn't matter to him, you weren't good with words anyway. Sans instead watched you, saw through you. Your soul, which had remained dull the entire evening, began to brighten, the hue, it's intensity. You were relieved, but he could still see fear, and guilt mixed with your soul as well. You weren't letting those hold you back, not tonight. It wasn't long before you turned to him again and slowly stood up, your hand reaching out. That was Sans signal to approach.

**~ * ~**

“Hey Mom...Dad...” You said slowly as you knelt down in front of the gray stone. You smiled softly before you traced your fingers over the names. “Merry Christmas...” You took another deep breath, thinking a moment before speaking again. “I'm early...I know. I brought a friend as well. He's the first friend I've had in a while.”

The words became easier to say as you went on, “He's my roommate as well. Has a brother, they're...they're watching out for me...you don't have to worry anymore.” You took a slow breath, smiling once again, “This is the first year I'm celebrating Christmas...it's been a while...I know. They have a nice family. I don't remember how we celebrated, but it had to be similar, right?” You lightly brushed off some snow that covered the corners.

“I want to do better, I don't want them to leave. For the first time in a long time, I don't feel alone. I don't feel the need to be alone. I...I trust them...” You bit your lower lip, you promised yourself you wouldn't cry. “I'm going to trust them. I want to move forward...I'm going to make you proud.”

You slowly stood up and took another deep breath before looking back at Sans. You held out your hand to him. “I can't lose him...” Sans was important to you. You felt like time didn't stand still. He was slowly breaking down the walls you built up so long ago. You had shut everyone out. You kept them away to protect yourself. Maybe you didn't understand why Sans tried so hard for you, but you were grateful, grateful that you finally felt like you could take your first real steps.

Sans slowly walked up to your side, the snow under his feet crunched lightly. He reached out to grab your hand, but you moved forward and reached behind the small skeleton's back, pulling him close into a tight hug.

“Thank you...thank you for coming with me...” You said softly as you buried your face into his shoulder.

“It's _snow_ problem kid.” He said softly as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

You laughed lightly as you leaned away, “Puns now?” You couldn't help but smile.

“Doesn't seem like it was a bad time, but _icy_ what you mean,” Sans grinned up at you as you let him go.

“You're terrible.” You said with a chuckle and looked back to the stone, “This...is kinda weird...” You nervously laughed, “Normally...when you do introductions...it doesn't play out like this...I um...these are my parents.”

Sans looked down at the stone you were kneeling over a bit ago. He read the names and studied it for a moment before speaking, “Hey, I'm Sans.” He looked back up to you, you knew he was probably uncomfortable.

“Sorry...” You said as you looked away nervously. “I guess...I guess you can understand what this means...” You try to search for the words, you were fumbling with the zipper on your coat. “I mean...it's...” You bit your tongue and you felt Sans tug on your sleeve.

“I get it,” Sans said softly.

You let go of your zipper and gingerly take his hand into yours, gently squeezing it, “I...don't remember much about them. I don't remember a lot of my childhood.” You slowly began to lead him away from the stone and back towards the entrance. “I come here every year, and I just speak to them. They're the only ones I could open up to.” You stop when you get back to the main path. “Sans...thank you...”

“You don't need to thank me ____.” Sans walked around until he was standing in front of you. He let go of your hand and zipped up your coat. You now realized how cold it was and that you had started shivering. You couldn't be upset, this time, you offered him another smile.

“Let's go home...the buses are going to be stopping soon.” You tried to walk around him, but you stopped from surprise when he warped his arm around your waist. “S-sans?” you stammered.

He looked up and offered a grin, “I know a shortcut. Close your eyes and count to ten.”

You were nervous at first, but at the same time curious. You nodded and slowly as you closed your eyes and began to mouth the words counting towards ten.

It didn't take long, but your breath caught in your throat as you felt an incredible silence and emptiness around you. You felt like you were falling, and you tightly gripped onto Sans, you couldn't hear him, but you could feel he was still there. This feeling, it, didn't last long. You felt your feet touch the ground and your legs, in return, felt like jelly. You would have collapsed on the floor, but Sans quickly supported you.

“Whoa now...you're alright. You can open your eyes now.” Sans voice echoed in your head for a moment before you realized what he had said. You slowly opened your eyes and Toriel and Frisk's living room came into view. The TV in the corner was left on but was muted, and there was a few blankets and pillows laid out on the couch. You blinked a few times before looking down at Sans, who grinned up at you. “Some shortcut huh?” He helped steady you and guide you over to the couch.

“How?” You whispered finally as Sans gently pushed you back to take a seat. You didn't fuss or mind when he went and help you remove your winter clothing. He turned as he stood in the doorway between the foyer and the living room, raising an eye bone at you.

“Magic.” He replied slyly before disappearing around the corner. You rubbed your eye gently, monsters were still indeed strange.

He returned shortly and took a pillow and blanket for himself before propping it up against the right arm of the couch to lean back against.

“I guess we have the couch?” You whispered, not wanting to wake anyone up. Sans nodded and pointed towards the pillow and blanket that was left for you. You were tired, you felt off kilter from the “shortcut” that Sans just used, but you still wanted to talk. There was a lot you felt confident enough to share with him, but you weren't sure how to start. “Sans?” You looked over to him as you retrieved the two items, he had grabbed the remote from the coffee table and was flipping through the channels on the TV, keeping the volume low. He stopped and turned away from the TV towards you. “I um...can we talk a little more?” Sans shrugged and set the remote down on the floor.

“You don't need to push yourself,” Sans mumbled softly.

“I want to!” You quickly placed your hand over your mouth when you realized you had raised your voice slightly. You turned to look down the hall and listened. No one seemed to have woken up and you sighed softly.

“Come here,” Sans said softly as he scooted over towards the front of the couch. He slid his right foot off and steadied it on the ground before he tugged and your sweater's empty sleeve. You were knocked off balance and fell, pinned, between Sans and the back of the couch.

“Sans!” You loudly whispered, your face flushed. You tried to catch yourself from falling and ended up wrapping your arm around his ribs. You were incredibly close to his face.

Sans chuckled as he grabbed your pillow and shoved it behind his shoulder. “I didn't realize I'd have you falling all over me.”

You glared at him, “It's because you pulled me over!” You averted your eyes quickly.

“My bad.” Sans voice replied attentively. He shifted himself a bit more on the couch to give you a bit more room, you weren't uncomfortable. It was surprisingly a lot more comfortable than you thought it would be. He was also warm.  This must be what it felt like when you were sick.  You didn't get to enjoy that feeling like you were able to now. “This way I can hear you without the need to raise your voice.” You looked back up as he turned away, you could almost swear you saw a hint of blue across his cheeks.

“Al-alright...” You muttered embarrassingly. You nearly lost your train of thought before you spoke again. “I know when you answered my ad that you didn't exactly sign up for dealing with me.”

“Everyone has their problems. If I was really bothered by it I wouldn't have moved in when I did.” He closed his eyes, listening to the hum of the TV and you speak.

“I guess...you saw a few my issues at the cafe...” You recalled the incident and buried your face into the blanket that was wrapped around Sans. You muffled something into it and felt a light flick on the top of your head. You moved your face away from the jacket to scowl at him.

“Can't understand you when you're speaking into the blanket,” Sans grinned as he opened his left eye halfway to stare at you. You couldn't help but blush again, or were you still blushing? You continued your scowl before repeating yourself, “I said thank you for helping me...I know I've said it before...but no one's ever stood up for me like that.”

“The guy was out of line,” Sans said flatly. You could see the light disappear from his eye, only viewing the darkness of his socket.  You figured he must be tired as well.

“Yeah...” You paused before looking towards the Christmas tree. “I want to do better...I don't want to live my life as hollow as I have up until now.” You turned your gaze back to look up at him, giving him a smile. “I don't want to be a bother to you or your brother...or your friends. They're all so nice. I just...want them to see the me I've always wanted to be...you know?” You paused waiting for a response. When you didn't receive one you continued, “I mean...up until now I've not gotten close to many people. Only those I had to. My doctor, therapist, and Ally....they were the three people that knew the most about me up until now.”

“That's no longer the case?” Sans asked quietly.

You shook your head, “No...you know more about me then Ally does now...” You paused as your train of thought shifted.

“Sans...what do you think of when you are told you failed?” You watched him as he opened both his eyes and looked down at you.

“That you didn't succeed?” His response was simple.

“What about if you're told no, or that this was the end?” You paused, waiting for his response.

He sat up slightly and gave you a confused look, “What do you mean?”

You shrugged lightly, “When I was young and still had to stay in the hospital. I heard these terms used a lot. I used them a lot. I was told that my writing would never improve, failed at being able to catch a ball, I thought my life was over, that this was the end.” You paused and looked away, “My earliest memories are painful...I couldn't move, I was bound to a hospital bed. I had a lot of surgeries. I didn't know how I'd move on. I didn't have a family or a home to go home to. All I knew was the hospital. There were no other kids to talk to at the time, only adults.” You sighed and tightly wrapped your arm around Sans, “I was born right handed...I didn't think I could ever learn to write, let alone draw. I wanted to give up, but I couldn't. I didn't want to be bound to my bed. I didn't want live my life to feel limited. My left hand was burned, and it blistered on it's palm. There were many days I would practice writing until it would bleed. The doctors weren't happy with me, I mean...I could easily get sick. Any time I failed at something, I tried something different. I looked at it differently. What was I missing? Whenever I was told no, I found something new to focus on.” You paused your speech once again and looked away, “Many days I wanted to give up. I thought if I died there would be no more pain. No more having to try anything anymore. I wanted it to end. Any time I thought that though, I remembered a saying my mother would tell me. It's the only thing I remember of her now...you know what she said?”

Sans shook his head, “What's that kid?”

You smiled and closed your eyes, “She told me effort never dies. I'd remember that, and I would find the strength to get through one more day. I've forgotten about that until recently...you reminded me of it actually.” You smiled softly, nuzzling your face into the soft blanket against his chest. You didn't move when you felt Sans shift below you and feel your blanket being pulled around you. “Thank you...thank you for making me feel safe...thank you for listening...”  You let out a yawn, your strength was leaving you

Sans smiled as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, “Anytime, get some rest. Pap and Frisk will want to open gifts pretty early.”

You didn't object, your eyes didn't want to open, you were comfortable. You were extremely grateful to have the Sans come into your life. You couldn't imagine yourself without him now.

“Merry Christmas Sans...” The words lost among the blankets. You were fading fast, and you couldn't remember hearing Sans respond before falling asleep.

“Merry Christmas ____.” Sans whispered softly.

Sans watched you sleep for a while, smiling watching your soul pulse at your core. It was glowing the brightest he's ever seen before. This is what he wanted to protect. At that moment, you were truly happy, free of whatever bounded you. You held no sadness when you spoke, you wanted to move forward, and he wanted to help whatever way he could.  He yawned lightly before he closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep holding you in his arms.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive me! I really wanted to post this chapter yesterday, but as I had to go back and change a lot I felt the quality wasn't something I felt comfortable to present.
> 
> Originally, I was going to have the Reader still be in the hospital, but I couldn't figure out how to not avoid the "spiral of sad" that's been happening up until this point. I needed a better setting, and actually going to spend Christmas with Toriel and Frisk just seemed right.
> 
> I did bring up some topics in this chapter, but I didn't want them to be viewed as something to be sad about. How the reader spends her holiday by visiting her parent's grave, to finally accepting that she doesn't need to be locked into her old ways anymore. How she mentally dealt with the pain and healing in the hospital when she was young. She wants to improve, she doesn't want to be controlled by her fear. 
> 
> No, we're not doing a full 180 personality swap, I'm just showcasing another side of her. Right now Reader is clinging to Sans, she's clinging to the only person that she feels truly understands her. She finally has someone she can speak with that actually wants to listen, that wants to help her because THEY want to, not because it's their job to.
> 
> I feel the above is getting to long...so again, I want to say thank you! Thank you for all the kind comments, sorry it takes so long between updates. I just can't pump out a chapter every day. Every other day is what I'm striving for. I'll try to improve, but a few chapters a week I know I can promise. Enjoy! Until next time!


	11. Cry Baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for short chapter. I hope you'll forgive me after you read it.

****_**Hesfe dshgi dhe sithes!** _

The words bounced around in your head as you buried your face into the soft fabric you were laying on. You couldn't pick out anything in particular, all you knew is that you could tell was someone speaking. The sounds echoed within you, but you refused to move. You willed yourself to remain lost in your sleep. Begging your consciousness to remain as it were. Everything felt right. However, you felt your body shift, something was pulling on you, or were you falling? The distinction was unclear. You furrowed your brows and a groan escaped your lips. As you inhaled you caught a sweet, warm scent of something delicious. Your stomach growled, you could no longer will yourself to stay asleep. You mumbled incoherent words into the fabric, rubbing your face into the warm blanket. You felt something soft underneath your arm.  Figuring it was your pillow, you hugged it tightly.

“Mornin' kid,” a groggy slow voice hummed, “mind if you don't squeeze too tightly?”

You slowly raised your face, squinting as light blinded you momentarily. You slowly opened your eye and a familiar bony face slowly came into focus. You stared at him for a moment, your mind still fuzzy.

The smile on his face grew as he watched you amusingly through half-lidded eyes, “If you have no objections I'm going to happily continue to nap.”

It was like the second hand of a clock finally clicked somewhere inside your head. You blinked once before realizing you were face to face with a very smug looking Sans as he brought his arms up to rest behind his head. You try to find a spot to place your hand without touching Sans anymore than you were. Your tongue stutters sound that couldn't possibly make sensible words, as you realize you're still pinned on your side between him and couch. You whine softly as you hide your face into his side and slink further into the couch. Sans chuckled softly as he watched you.

“Oh? You too? I guess I can continue to share my spot.” Sans voice hummed again and you could swear you felt it rumble through you. You voiced words with little coherency into his side. Sans laughed again as he removed one of his hands propping up his head and lightly flicked the top of your head, “Can't understand when you speak into the blanket.”

You didn't want to give him the satisfaction of teasing you, not this early.  You lightly pushed him, but you could quickly feel him pushing back against you. It surprised you at first, but you couldn't help but to grin. You weren't going to let him win. You took a deep breath and pushed against him once again, using a bit more force, but you soon found your attempt was useless. Sans somehow remained glued to his spot on the couch, maybe only giving you an inch. When your strength failed, after all you were still waking up, you whined again. Not only could you not lift yourself out of this trap, your hand was now pinned. It was futile. You mumbled incoherent words into the blanket again, earning you another rap on the head. Pouting now, you looked up, glaring at your captor who continue to smugly smile at you.

“No fair!” You whined once your words could be freely spoken. As fast as you spoke you quickly dropped your forehead onto the blankets strewn across his chest. It was early, you were tired, and your stomach at that time chose to growl loudly. There was a silence and you whined softly. Embarrassed...that was another thing to add to your growing list.

“I'm not sure what you're talking about. I'm just trying to sleep.” There was no doubt about it, he enjoyed watching you squirm. You could hear the playfulness present in his voice.

You stretched your legs in frustration, only to jump when your foot brushed against something small and soft. You recoiled quickly and looked to see what was there. Sans leaned up slightly to get a good look over the blankets wrapped around his waist. You were startled at the fact that Frisk was sitting there, so quietly that neither of you noticed, or maybe it was just you? Once Frisk saw they had your attention a mischievous grin curled across their face and they began to sign furiously. You lay, silently watching as their small hands moved quickly close to their chest. You looked back up at Sans, who had a bright streak of blue across his face. You furrowed your brows before you softly spoke up.

“Sans?”

He jumped at your voice and chuckled before looking back at Frisk. Frisk paused, waiting for a response.

“Hey, kid...morning. Where's Pap?” Sans nervously laughed, Frisk smile grew into a mischievous one and slowly signed something, almost as if punctuating each word.

Sans grinned at Frisk, “Hey kid, keep it up and you're going to have yourself a _bad time_...” He slowly sat up, his smug smile fading to a mischievous grin of his own. Frisk giggled before leaping off the couch. They tried to run off in the direction of the kitchen, but they had to run passed the other side of the couch to do this. Sans quickly snatched up the child and pulled them into his lap, ruffling their hair as Frisk tried to squirm away.

This was your chance. Your arm was free and you now had enough space to push yourself up, or so you thought. Sans quickly laid back down, laying Frisk down across his and your stomach, pinning you once again. You couldn't help but laugh seeing Frisk's happy smile. You sighed, resigned to remain trapped on the couch. Despite the minor annoyance, it was still fun.

The noise must have attracted someone's attention. You could hear the soft footsteps of someone coming from the kitchen, but you wouldn't be able to see them from where you were laying. You chuckled softly when you heard Papyrus' voice, full of cheer and excitement call out into the living room.

“OH GOOD! YOU ARE AWAKE NOW!” He bounded over to the couch, wearing a smile that no one could rival. He scooped up Frisk and turned to the dining room. “BREAKFAST IS READY!"  He paused before looking down at his brother, "SANS! YOU LAZY BONES! GET UP AND COME EAT WITH US! IT'S CHRISTMAS!” Despite him scolding Sans, his smile never left his face.

“Sure Pap, I'm getting up.” Sans lazily sat back up and placed both of his feet on the floor near the couch.

Papyrus took off with the giggling Frisk towards the dining room, leaving the two of you alone on the couch once again. You chuckle and stretch your arm, still too tired to move too much, you planned to roll onto your stomach once Sans stood up, but he sat there, smiling back at you.

“What?” You asked, smiling back up at him. He shrugged and turn, being careful as he grabbed your upper arm and slowly pulled you to sit up beside him.

“Sleep alright?' He asked, his voice soft, but sounding slightly concerned. It caught you off guard for a moment, but you remembered the trip you took last night and the conversation the two of you had before falling asleep.

“Yeah...actually...” You smiled as you pulled your legs up to sit beside him more comfortably. “Thank you...”

He shook his head, “Don't need to thank me so much. What are friends for?” He slowly stood up and offered his hand to you, “Let's get something to eat. It won't be long until Frisk and Pap want to open gifts.”

You had forgotten that it was Christmas, you smile and nod, taking his hand. “I need to take my medicine...I forgot it last night.” Sans gave you a worried look but you quickly shook your head, “No no...I should be fine...I wanted to start taking it in the morning again.” You weren't sure if this satisfied him, but you smiled, “Really, no freak outs, no crying, I promise.”

Sans watched you for a moment before smiling. “Alright, the bathroom is down the hall behind you. Third door on the left.” He turned away and headed towards the dining room, “I'll save you a seat.” He waved a hand as you turned to look at the disheveled blankets strewn across the couch and hanging to the floor. You would come back to fold them in a moment. You found your bag, still near the door and opened it. You checked behind your shoulder, making sure no one was watching you before withdrawing a smaller plastic bag from it. Quickly you returned to the living room and followed the hall until you came to the third door on the left.

The door was a jar, and you slowly pushed it opened. In the darkness you searched for the light switch, flipping it, closing your eyes quickly at the blinding florescent light before slowly opening them and walking into the small pale green room. It was lovely, the bathroom rug set and fancy towels all matched. Everything was neat and orderly, no clutter or mess in sight. It was a vast contrast to your white, disorderly bathroom.

You set the bag down in the sink and pulled out a small case and placed it on the counter top. You sighed as you looked at the pills in the container. How many was it now? Four...five? All various shapes and sizes. You removed the bag and slowly ran the cold water. You cupped your hand below it before splashing it on your face. You inhaled quickly, it was cold, but you knew it would be. You lifted your face slowly, catching view of yourself in the mirror. You quickly looked back down to the pills. The water hitting the basin was the only noise in the room as you slowly took a deep breath. You weren't sure how long you were standing there, but a soft tapping at the door brought you out of your thoughts.

“Are you okay in there?” The voice belonged to Toriel.

“Yes, yes I'm fine. I'll be right out.” You quickly grabbed the case, it slipped in your fingers, but you still managed to keep your grip on it. The pills rattled inside it, quietly cursing it. You fumbled opening the small box's lid and rolled it contents into your hand. The pills lightly bounced as they settled into your palm, a few of them sticking to the dampness. You swallowed them quickly before throwing the case back into the bag and cupping your hand under the water again. The pills that stuck left small dabs of their coating on the palm of your hand. The water washed it away and you brought your cupped palm back up to drink. After swallowing you turned back to the door, “Just washing my hands.”

You turned the facet off and dried your hand on the towel hanging to your right before grabbing the small bag and slowly opening the door. Toriel wasn't in sight and you sighed in relief while slowly exited the restroom. As you turned to turn the light off, you heard her speak from the room across the hall.

“____? Would you come here for a moment? I'd like to speak with you.”

She startled you, but she didn't sound upset. You nervously approached the door, hiding the small bag behind your back as you stood in her doorway. You caught sight of Toriel on the foot of her bed, she offered you a smile and lightly patted the spot next to her. Your steps were slow, and you could swear your legs felt like jelly. You somehow managed to approach the bed before taking a seat. The room was dark, only lit from the sun peeking through the clouds outside. She hid it well, but she must be upset right? You didn't socialize, and ran off so quickly last night. Here she was being a lovely host, and you rudely walked out. You gripped the empty sleeve of your sweater to your right and looked down at your feet. You needed to apologize. You heard her take a slow breath, she was about to speak. You needed to tell her first.

“Toriel! I'm sorry...I...I was so rude yesterday! I'm sorry-” You rambled on for a moment, every other line filled with variations of “sorry”. You only quieted yourself when her hand gently rested atop your knee. You froze for a moment before looking up to her face. She wore a warm smile, there was no hint of malice.

“You need not worry, my child. It was alright.” She removed her hand and brought it to her lap. “I only wished to speak to you away from the others for a moment.”

Her regal speech was smooth and calming. She really was royalty huh? You blushed and covered your mouth with your hand, letting the small bag you were hiding sit behind you. You slowly took a breath before mustering up the courage to speak again, “What is...what did you want to talk with me about?”

Toriel turned away momentarily and pulled a small box from the bed beside her and held it in her lap. “Sans had told me that you were the one that helped when Frisk was sick, were you not?”

“Y-yes!” You answered quickly, removing your hand away from your face. “I'm glad they're well now.”

“Yes, I am as well.” She paused, looking down at the small white box. “I cannot begin to thank you enough. Moving in was stressful enough, learning Frisk was sick...” She paused and took a slow breath before offering you another soft smile, “Let us say that being so far away and unable to be at their side, I am glad that Sans and Papyrus had found you.”

You smiled, this wasn't the conversation you were expecting. She was genuinely thanking you for something you thought was such a small thing. It made you happy.  

“Thank you Toriel, I think...I am happy they ran into me as well.” Never had you thought you'd be doing so many things in the last few weeks. Sure, a lot of bad things had happened, but there was a lot of good as well. You've met your first friends, real friends who actually cared about you. They introduced you to their friends, and slowly your world is opening up. It was all because they came into your life.

“Child, I am happy that you are here with us today. I wanted to give you this, but I did not want it to be confused as a holiday gift. This does not amount to the gratitude I feel for what you have done for my family, but I hope that you will accept this.” She paused only to open the small white box, revealing a nicely wrapped pie. It wasn't something you've not seen before, and the scent was lovely. Your stomach rumbled again and you pressed your hand to your stomach, hushing it embarrassingly. “Oh dear! I had forgotten that you have not eaten breakfast yet. Silly me. Please, let us go eat with the others.” She closed the box and placed it gently on the bed behind her. She stood and offered her hand to you to help you stand. You took her hand and stood up, almost forgetting to grab the small bag you were carrying from earlier. You turned and took a few small steps, stopping at the door when you hear Toriel's voice call your name, “____?” You turned slowly, her expression warm with content, “Thank you for opening your home to them.”

You knew who she meant. You laughed lightly, “I'm happy to have them...they've made my house into a home...” You slowly turned back to the hallway, leaving Toriel to stand at the foot of her bed, smiling before following after you.

**~ * ~**

Sans watched Frisk furiously signed.

_**I see what you're doing, Sans. You can't fool me. It makes sense now when you disappeared last night with her. You two went on a date right?** _

Sans blushed, where was Frisk getting all of this from? Out of the corner of his eye, he could see you turn to look up at him.

“Sans?”

Sans jumped as you spoke up. You were waiting for him to tell you what Frisk was saying. He couldn't tell you this. He swallowed quickly and nervously laughed.

“Hey, kid...morning. Where's Pap?” In the back of his mind, he knew that Frisk wouldn't drop it. Not that easily. The smile Frisk wore slowly changed into a mischievous grin. Sans watched as Frisk slowly signed.

_**Do you want some tips on flirting?** _

This kid...They may have been popular in the Underground, and possibly went on a few “dates” with a few of his friends and brother, but he certainly didn't need to take advice from a child for help with flirting, let alone dating. It's not like Sans was flirting with you anyway. He wanted to make sure you woke up with a smile, and he was quite proud of himself for accomplishing just that.

“Hey kid, keep it up and you're going to have yourself a _bad time_...” Sans' smug smile turned into a mischievous grin as he slowly sat up. Frisk, having a good sense to know when to stop, giggled as they jumped off the couch. They took off, trying to escape to the kitchen. Sans was quick to react as he snagged Frisk as they ran by and pulled them into his lap, messing their hair up playfully.

You must have thought he forgot about you as he felt you shift behind him.

_You're not going anywhere just yet..._

Sans pushed Frisk back as he quickly returned to laying in his spot. Having taken you off guard and thwarting your escape, he was rewarded for his efforts with the sound of your laughter.

_Success...._

**~ * ~**

The rest of day went by so fast. Papyrus and Frisk enjoyed sitting in front of the tree opening the various gifts from friends and family. Papyrus had gotten another action figure from _SANSta_ and another labeled from Sans. You had given Sans a knowing look, but he shrugged it off as not knowing what you were talking about. Toriel had found a book that she hopped Papyrus would love, in which he assured her that it will be read when he went to bed that night. You told Papyrus a gift from you would be late, but he just smiled and told you not to worry about it. You needed to figure something out for Sans as well, but at least you had time.

You sat on your familiar couch, listening to the TV in the background. Spending Christmas at Toriel and Frisk's home was nice, but you felt more relaxed at home. You could hear Sans read from Papyrus' room, and the occasional laughter from Papyrus kept a smile on your face. You softly yawned as you brought your hand to cover your mouth. It had been a long week, and you were excited about sleeping in your own bed tonight. As much as you wanted to curl up in your bed now, you wanting nothing more than to sit and work on the drawing for Papyrus you started at the hospital.

You smiled as you happily hummed. The original sketch you outlined in the hospital had changed drastically since yesterday. Ever since you got home you rooted yourself on the couch. Any movement from either of the brothers was watched, you couldn't let Papyrus see the drawing before it was finished. It had to be perfect. You pulled your pencil off the page and pushed the sketch pad away for a moment. You had placed your collection of drawing pencils under your legs within reach. You exchanged your current drawing tool with one that had a thicker lead. You pulled your sketch pad back to lean against your knees and leaned back against the arm of the couch.

_What was I going to do again?_

“Paps' gonna love it.”

You jumped, dropping your pencil. It rolled and bounced off your chest before disappearing under the coffee table. You sighed and took a deep breath.

“I don't know how you do that...you can be sneaky when you want to be Sans.” You couldn't help but laugh. Looks like you were done drawing for the evening. You would remember to find your pencil tomorrow at least.

Sans laughed as he stood behind you against the wall. As you turned, you could see his left hand fiddling with something in his pocket.

“Hey, close your eyes for a second...” Sans turned to face the TV, refusing to look at you.

“What's up?” You watched him, as he slowly turned and grinned.

“Just close your eyes, trust me.” He said once again and took a step closer to the couch. You decided to trust him. You told yourself you were going to start being a better friend. Trusting him seemed logical if that's what you were really planning. You turned away and closed your eyes.

“Alright...eyes are closed...” You heard his jacket rustle behind you and you heard something you didn't recognize. You were surprisingly calm. Sans hadn't given you a reason to be afraid of him even when you felt something wrap around your neck, it was small and Sans quickly tapped you on the shoulders.

“Take a look.” His voice was low, but you could hear a bit of excitement in his voice, or maybe he was nervous.

You opened your eyes and slowly looked down, your hand trailed your neck and you felt something cool and smooth resting there. You picked it up and gasped when you saw it. It was a sterling silver necklace and the pendant attached was a purple heart.

“Just like mine?” You asked as you turned to face him. There was a faint hit of blue on his cheekbones again.

“Yeah, I saw it the other day...figured it may be something you'd like...I don't really see you wearing jewelry...was worried you wouldn't li-” He paused, “Hey kid, why are you crying?”

You placed the heart back to rest just below your collar bone and pressed your hand to your cheek. It was wet...when did you start crying?

Sans quickly knelt down at your side and placed his hand on your right shoulder and knee. You stared rubbed your eye gently, quiet hiccups leaving your lips. “Hey, if you don't like it...it's fine, you don't have to-” You interrupted Sans by wrapping your arm around his neck and hugging him tightly.

“I love it...” You said between sobs.

“Hey...thought you promised no crying?” Sans laughed lightly, relieved that his gift didn't upset you.

“You're the only one that can make me cry when I'm happy...” You whispered softly before laughing lightly at how much of a cry baby you were. You couldn't help but smile as you felt his arm wrap around you and gently return your hug.  Your face was red, you couldn't tell if you were blushing, or it was just warm from crying.  You didn't want to think about it

“Merry Christmas pal,” Sans said softly.

“Merry Christmas Sans.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So Christmas is finally over, and onward to the New Year!
> 
> So last chapter...I was going for cute and sappy then, but I finally figured out to cover the theme nicely here. 
> 
> Why is this chapter short? When I write a normal chapter for me is roughly 10pages in the word document I use (we're up to 121 currently on this story). This time around this chapter was only 6 pages long. I'm sorry. Just can't focus, and I covered what I wanted to cover this chapter. The simple answer as to why this chapter is short though is this: My cold got worse, simple as that. Between lack of sleep (insomnia curse you) and being around sick family members, it just didn't bode well for me. Yesterday I slept most of the day away and today my cold medicine is not allowing me to focus all too well.
> 
> I'm gonna pass out. Just sore from hacking out a lung. I'll be fine, just some bed rest and cough syrup should fix me up. Thanks for reading! Will see you in a few days with another chapter.
> 
> Shamless tumblr plug for updates:  
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	12. Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it's late!
> 
> Another lovely reader fanart from makkurohoshi  
> http://kioribug.tumblr.com/post/137555010327/kioribug-drew-another-picture-of-the-reader-i
> 
> (you seriously spoil me!)

_**Bang Bang Bang** _

“____? ____, are you awake?”

You nearly fell out of bed with the sudden violent banging on your door. It took a moment, but your vision slowly adjusted to the dark around you. You looked to your clock, 4:23am. The room felt cold, and the hairs on your arm and the back of your neck was standing on end. Something felt off, what was going on.

The banging came again.

“____ please, it's brother...I ...I don't know what to do!”

It was Papyrus, his voice was hoarse, was he crying? You felt a lump form in the pit of your stomach as you struggled to uncoil the blankets from around you.

“Papyrus?” You called out, your voice thick and heavy, still groggy. You could hear his bony hand grip your door knob and slowly twist it.

“O-one second Pap!” You called out as you unwrapped your legs from the blanket and stumbled to find your light switch.

You shut your eyes quickly at the sudden brightness. Your eye screamed at you, the light burned and you quickly rubbed the sleep from it. You wobbled over to your dresser on shaky legs, your body still refusing to wake up. You had a dark blue tank top on, the right sleeve had fallen off your shoulder, hanging loosely over your side. You quickly fixed it and looked down to your draws. You shuffled around them quickly until you found a pair of easy slip on flannel black and blue checkered pants. You pulled them on quickly, pulling the draw string tightly, but without being able to tie it would be useless soon. You pulled them up as high as you could and pulled your tank down to cover your hips before stumbling back over to the door. The door opened slowly, and Papyrus stood before it, wringing his hands and nervously looking back at Sans door.

“Papyrus?” You were confused, your mind still catching up on what was going on. You watched as he turned away from Sans door and looked down to you. He had been crying. His expression was full with worry. What was going on? “What...what's wrong?” You stuttered, you looked towards Sans door and back up to the taller skeleton. Papyrus said something was wrong with Sans and you quickly reached for the pendant on your neck.

The pendant Sans gave you on Christmas still hung around your neck. It's been a few days since then, and the only time you had removed it was when you needed to take a shower. You loved the gifts the brothers gave to you. Every time you were cold, you would wear the sweater that Papyrus had give you, and this pendant from Sans served as a reminder. It reminded you that you were not alone. When you were nervous, you would lightly hold the pendant and you would start to feel a calm over you.

“It's Sans...he's...he's...” Papyrus looked back to the door and quickly grabbed the hand that held your pendant. “____, please, he wont talk to me!” Before you could say anything, he quickly led you through their bathroom and hovered at his open side door. It took you a moment, but you realized the light was off, yet an eerie blue light filled the room.

“Pap?” Your voice seemed to fail to reach him as he pulled you through the doorway into the brightly lit room.

You felt your body stiffen, and the color fade from you. This was the first time you've been in Sans room, the room was messy, but there seemed to be an organization to this chaos. There was a pile of socks to the corner, and piles of clothes and books scattered across the floor and small desk. You could spy a small telescope in the corner, but your gaze was quickly drawn to Sans bed. The bed didn't have a frame, and it only had a thick comforter over the old looking mattress. The comforter was pulled around a ball in the middle of the mattress. From underneath the blankets was were the source of the light was coming from.

“Sans?” You choked out. You knew the light, this magic, was coming from Sans. It was different though. It was intense when he first showed it to you at the hospital, but now, now it was terrifying. It felt violent, guarded. What was going on. “Pap? What's going on...what's wrong with Sans?” You finally tugged your hand away from him and clutched the pendant at your neck. You were shaking as you watched the taller skeleton look down at you. He was scared as well.

“It's a nightmare...” Papyrus said slowly. He looked back at his brother and slowly approached him, kneeling down and gently petting the ball. It flinched at the touch, and Papyrus slowly moved the blanket back over the smaller Skeleton's head. His hand slowly went to rest on the top of his head but you lurched forward.

“Don't touch him!” You said sharply as you let go of your pendant shakily and reached towards Papyrus. You didn't mean to snap loudly, but this wasn't a nightmare...not exactly. The smaller skeleton jerked and sat up quickly, surprising Papyrus and you both. You stopped about halfway between the door and Papyrus before Sans narrowed his eyes on you.

You could feel goosebumps ride up your spine as he glared at you. You couldn't move, did you wake him? You flinched when he rose his left hand quickly, and you felt a familiar pull. You watched as the room filled with a mixture of the light from his light blue magic and your bright violet soul. It was brighter then you remembered, and it was comforting to see it if it weren't for what was happening. You stared at Sans, why had he called to your soul? He was so afraid to do it before, but now he only glared at it.

“Brother?” Papyrus was surprised and lightly wrapped his fingers around Sans humerus. Sans wasn't responding still. He was transfixed on your soul.

“Sans?” You spoke quietly. You still couldn't move. Sans' was breathing heavily, was he still asleep? Did you wake him up? You weren't sure, but you needed to know.

Slowly, you forced yourself to take a step forward. Sans watched you, cautiously as you slowly took stiff steps towards him. You stopped at the edge of the bed, staring down at him as he continue to glare at your soul. You watched as the violet soul pulsed lightly, you took a deep breath and tried to smile down towards Sans.

“Sans?” This time, he reacted. His hand quickly lurched forward and tightly grabbed a hold of your soul. You felt your breath leave you. It felt like you were being crushed. Your soul faded, darkening at his touch. Fear...you recognized this. You were terrified, it hurt, his touch was hurting. He said your soul was fragile, that he could break it if he wasn't careful. Could be break it right now? You could feel his magic, his magic strangling your soul.

“Sans! Let...let go!” You defensively put your hand up and grabbed his wrist.

That was a mistake...

Your soul turned a solid blue. You gasped as you felt your body become heavy. Despite this new feeling you were lifted, almost weightlessly, and flew backwards into the air. You felt your back slam against the wall, and you gasped as the air fled your lungs. You couldn't even cry out in pain.

“SANS!” Papyrus shook Sans violently before leaving him to tend to you. “____?! Are you okay?”

You slid down the wall and collapsed on the floor, the blue heart violently fading. You felt heavy, and it was hard to breathe. You ached, but were otherwise unharmed. As you slumped to the floor, your soul vanished, you gasped, but calmed when you felt the familiar warmth return to your chest, your core. You grabbed at the pendant around your neck, violently shaking, you felt it's chain snap under your shaking and the chain crumbled around your hand. Papyrus slowly wrapped his arm around you and lifted you to sit. The pendant fell from your hand as you pushed away from him.

“Don't touch me!” You gasped and coughed as you fell backward.

“Papyrus? ____?” Sans said weakly as he sat on the edge of his bed. His eyes stopped when they locked onto yours.

You quickly looked away from Papyrus and forced yourself to stand against the wall. You legs threatened to give way as you turned to stare at Sans. What did he just do? It happened so fast, what happened? You clutched at your chest and sucked in air quickly. You collapsed to your knees when Sans slowly stood from the bed.

“Hey...” Sans narrowed his eyes, he looked around before taking another step. “What's go-”

Papyrus quickly stood in front of you, blocking Sans from taking any further steps.

“Papyrus?” He looked startled as the taller skeleton placed his hands on Sans shoulders and guided him to sit back in bed.

“Brother...” Papyrus paused to swallow a shallow breath, “Why? Why did you attack ____?”

Sans searched his brothers face for any signs of this being a joke before he leaned to look passed him to see you. He could easily see you were visibly upset. “____?”

Hearing him say your name startled you. He watched you, and you couldn't look at him. You needed to tell yourself to breathe. You needed to calm down.

Sans pushed passed Papyrus and knelt down in front of you.

“Hey kid...you don't look so good...are you okay?” He slowly reached his hand up to place on your shoulder but you flinched and flung your arm in front of you. You shook violently. “Hey...I'm not gonna hurt-”

“You...what did you do to me?” You yelled. Your breaths were ragged and you pushed yourself against the wall away from him.

Sans stopped and slowly withdrew his hand. Papyrus wasn't joking. The thought never crossed his mind that he would actually attack you.

“Sans? Do you not remember? You called her soul.” Papyrus said softly.

Sans didn't need either of you to tell him what that meant. He looked back at you, his face ridden with worry and he reached out to you once again.

You reached to the floor, searching for anything quickly to grab. Your hand found the pendant and you threw it at him. He easily caught it and looked to his hand before he looked back up to you.

“____ I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!” He said quickly as he stood up. He quickly grabbed his jacket and pulled it on before he unlocked the door of his room to the hall and took off running. Papyrus followed after him.

“SANS!” You could hear his heavy footsteps run down the hall before stopping. “Sans?” His voice was quiet, and it was quite clear that Sans wasn't there anymore. Papyrus returned to Sans room shortly and cautiously took small, slow steps as he approached you. He wrung his hand and knelt down in front of you, a mixture of worry and sadness on his face.

You clutched your tank top and looked up at Papyrus. “What happened to my soul?” Papyrus thought to himself before he tried to speak. You couldn't wait for his response, “It was blue! Will...will it be like that from now on?”

Papyrus shook his head, “It is only temporary human...we can do this so we can fight with our magic.”

You let go of your tank top and slowly looked down at your shaking palm, “Fight?”

Papyrus nodded and tried to smile, but he quickly looked back towards the door. “He'll....he'll be home later...”

You nodded, but you couldn't shake the feeling. It was terrifying. You were tossed like you were a rag doll. You chewed on your tongue lightly before speaking again, “Where did he go?”

Papyrus shrugged, “When brother gets upset, he disappears for a while. He always comes home, though.”

You slowly stood up, and Papyrus was quick to his feet to help steady you. You felt you couldn't go back to sleep, so you may as well get on with your day, but first you needed to take your meds and find your phone. Before you turned to enter your room you lightly tugged on the taller skeleton's long sleeved pajamas. “Hey...do you...want to watch a movie? I'll make us breakfast.”

This seemed to cheer Papyrus up, “THERE IS A METTATON SPECIAL I HAVE BEEN MEANING TO WATCH! ALSO, I SHALL MAKE US BREAKFAST!” He bounded off towards the kitchen before you could say otherwise. This made you smile, and you slowly shut the door behind you.

You changed your clothes and pulled on the sweater Papyrus had given you before going to take your seat on the couch. The bag you had taken to spend Christmas with Toriel and Frisk was stuffed away in your pocket, you needed something in your stomach first. You pulled out your phone and scrolled down to Sans' contact information and brought up a new message.

_**I'm sorry.** _

You had time to sit and think about it for a while. You knew Sans didn't mean to attack you. Rationally you thought that, but you still couldn't help but feel terrified. You felt guilty, this morning when he realized what had happened, he was only concerned for you, but you panicked and threw your pendant at him. You couldn't apologize earlier, and now you didn't know when the next time you would see him. You opened a new message, not waiting long after the previous sent.

_**Please come home.** _

The house felt colder then normal. The sun outside may have been rising, but the buildings in the distance would block out the sunrise for quite some time. The kitchen light was on, and the faint smell of bacon waft through the house. You smiled lightly at the thought that Papyrus could make other foods besides pasta, but the corners of your mouth quickly fell. You couldn't bring yourself to hold your smile. Your thoughts easily drifted back to Sans.

“Human?”

You flinched as you felt his hand touch your shoulder, and Papyrus quickly drew his hand away. He frowned and looked back towards the kitchen. You hadn't even noticed that Papyrus had approached you.

“I'm sorry, I did not mean to startle you.” Papyrus said softly. His voice sounded so distant. You could feel a painful lump well up in your chest. “I wanted to know if you wanted to eat at the table?”

He went to turn to walk away and you couldn't let him, not like this. You quickly turn and dug your toes into the carpet under your feet as you nearly tripped trying to grab for his wrist. Papyrus was quick though, he quickly caught you and steadied you.

“Human?”

“Papyrus...” You began softly, “I'm sorry!” You bit back fresh tears and shook your head before your forced yourself to speak again. You had to stop keeping things bottled up. “I didn't mean to wake him...startle him...I didn't mean for it to get out of hand. I made it worse...Sans ran away because I confused him right?” You would have continued, but Papyrus covered your mouth.

“I cannot understand you when you speak so quickly...but know that it is not your fault brother ran off.” Papyrus looked back to the kitchen and motioned for you to wait just a moment. He walked away but quickly returned with a plate of bacon, and eggs. He placed them on the coffee table before hurrying back off into the kitchen to grab two glasses of milk before settling himself to your left on the couch.

The two of you sat in silence before you pulled the small bag out of your pocket and tossed it onto the coffee table. The plastic tapped the surface loudly, shattering the silence the two of you had remained in. Papyrus looked at the bag and then back to you before he finally spoke.

“Are you okay human? I...I know that...” He paused, he looked back down the hall before he tried to speak again. “You are not hurt?”

“I'll be okay Papyrus.” You said softly and leaned forward to grab a piece of food. the bacon was burnt, but it tasted fine. “Thank you for making breakfast.”

Papyrus nodded and looked back at the bag, “What are those?”

You looked back at the bag, you had forgotten that Papyrus didn't really know much about you. The only person you had opened up to was his brother, Sans.

“It's medicine I need to take.” You said softly and leaned forward to grab the bag again. You struggled with the bag for a moment before offering it to Papyrus, “Could you open it for me? I'll explain what they are for.”

Papyrus took a hold of the bag and opened it. He pulled out the small plastic case and handed it to you, tilting his head when he heard it rattle. You gently took the case and used your thumb to pop open the lid to that day's labeled pills. You slow gently set the case down on the cushion on the couch between the two of you before slowly spilling it's contents. Five small pills rolled and bounced a short distance away before you closed the case and tossed it back to the table. Papyrus eyed the small tablets before looking up to meet your eyes. You separated the five of them into three separate piles before picking up the pile of three and your glass of milk.

“Has Sans told you anything about me?” You asked, maybe you wouldn't need to explain.

Papyrus shook his head, “Not directly. This is your medicine yes? Sans mentioned you take medicine for your head, and some for pain?

You slowly nod, that's the simple way to say it at least. “That's right. The ones I have in my hand now are vitamins that I need to keep me from getting sick.” You quickly popped them into your mouth and swallowed them with a small bit of milk. The next pill you picked up was a small round one, “This is the one I take for my head...I take this so I can function.” You paused trying to think of another way to describe it, “I guess the simplest way to describe it is a happy pill.”

“It makes you happy?” Papyrus latched onto the last bit of your explanation.

“It's a bit more complicated then that.” You paused and lean back against the couch and studied the small pill in your hand. It still amazed you at how something so small kept you from shutting down most days. “Papyrus, have you ever been so sad where you haven't felt like doing anything? Days where it feels like everything is closing in on you, and-” You paused to bite your lower lip. You didn't want to think on this too much. The emptiness, the question of why that you couldn't answer. The complete loss of hope. You sighed softly and swallowed it before reaching to take another small gulp of milk.

“No, human, but that sounds terrible.” Papyrus looked down at the last one before speaking, “This one is for pain?”

You nod, “Yeah, it's supposed to help stop the pain. I explained it at the hospital, but I don't know if you understood or not.” If you recalled correctly, Papyrus wasn't really paying attention when you were trying to explain it to Sans.

Papyrus was quiet for a moment and nodded, “I don't really understand it.”

You smiled and shrugged, “I wish I could explain it better, but I don't know another way to.” You picked it up and swallowed it. You grabbed another piece of bacon before leaning back against the couch.

Papyrus sat quietly, he seemed to be thinking about what you had told him and looked at the black TV screen.

“Papyrus?” He looked back to you slowly as you spoke his name, “I...I'm sorry...”

He shook his head, “It's alright human, you didn't do anything wrong. Sans does this...” He slowly stood up and returned to the kitchen to retrieve an additional small plate and two forks before returning once again to divide up the rest of the food on the plate. What he said didn't sit right with you.

“He does this? Has he done it before?” You asked as he offered you the plate and fork. You set it carefully in your lap and watched him out of the corner of your eye.

“Many times. It's been better since we left the Underground.” Papyrus poke at his food with his fork, seeming very uninterested in it.

“I remember you guys talking a little bit about the Underground...but my memory is a bit fuzzy.” You chuckled lightly. At the time, you were probably on drink two and three

Papyrus nodded, “Yeah, a little while before we were freed, Sans started getting these nightmares. I don't know why they started, but they've gotten worse since we've left Underground.”

“It got worse after you left?” You honestly didn't keep up with the news when the barrier at Mt. Ebott fell. You had been too focused on school and your job. The general consensus you would hear was that everyone was happy they could leave Underground. It was even barred from public access, only those with special permission could even go there now. “I thought everyone was happy to leave?”

Papyrus nodded, “Sans was very happy, he always wanted to see the stars.”

“You can't really see the stars here...why did you two move to the city?” You never gave it much thought, but there was very little you actually knew about the brothers. The two have learned more about you from the time they've moved in then you have about them.

“Toriel found a job at one of the local schools here. Sans was already commuting here for work. We had been living with them since we left Underground, so it made sense to move here as well.” Papyrus set his plate down at his side, no longer interested in it.

You took a small bite of the eggs Papyrus had put on your plate. They needed some salt, but they weren't bad. You swallowed and set the plate off to the side. “Are you happy here?”

Papyrus smiled and nodded, “Yes, quite happy human. I am close to Frisk, Undyne, Alphas, and my brother seems happier, despite today's nightmare.” He leaned forward and grabbed the remote that sat on the coffee table in front of him and turned on the TV. “I also got to meet you.”

The statement caught you off guard and you quickly looked towards the TV, “I...I'm glad I met you, both of you.” You said softly.

Papyrus smiled, but he hesitated for a moment. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he chose not to say what was on his mind. He walked over towards the TV and searched around the movies stacked on the shelf below. He found the special he had mentioned earlier and pulled the movie out of it's case and popped it into the player. He sat back down and you picked at your food as the the special began to play.

“Papyrus?” You broke the silence between the two of you and waited for Papyrus to look at you before continuing, “Could you tell me about Underground?”

Papyrus smiled and nodded, “I would be happy to.”

**~ * ~**

8am rolled around when Papyrus' phone chime went off. Toriel had tried to call Sans but she wasn't able to get a hold of him. Papyrus wasn't on the phone long, but it appeared that she wanted him to watch Frisk while she was out for the day.

“You should go.” A gentle yawn escaped your lips as you finished your sentence. The faucet turned on for the sink as you grabbed a sponge and ran the skillet Papyrus had used under the water. Most of the grease was put into a small container near the stove and would be thrown out later.

“Are you sure? Will you be alright on your own? The doctor said-” Papyrus began.

“Papyrus...as soon as these dishes are done I'm going to lay down. You don't need to worry. I can handle myself, don't worry.” You needed assure him. You honestly wanted the peace and quiet. You loved hanging around Papyrus, but you needed your own space.

You learned a lot about him and his life in Underground. Snowdin sounded like a very cold place, similar to how the weather was now, but instead of being surrounded by a forest, there was tall steel buildings. He once had dreams of becoming a member of the royal guard, how he and Undyne had trained, how diverse everything was compared to the familiar city around you. There was a fondness in his voice as he talked about his memories there, but there was a sadness in his eyes that he couldn't hide.

Papyrus came around the corner and stood in the doorway of the kitchen. He adjusted his scarf as you dried off your hand and turned to look at him.

“Human...are you sure you will be-” You interrupted him quickly.

“I'll be fine. I'll watch a movie, take a nap, working on some sketches. I promise I wont do anything to-”

“No human, I was going to ask if you would be okay if Sans was to return...” He paused and looked away, “You don't hate him, do you?”

“What?” The words escaped your lips before you could even think.

“Brother...he wouldn't want to hurt you...he didn't mean to.” There was that sullen expression again. A knot twisted in your stomach again as you approached Papyrus and wrapped your arm around him.

“I don't hate him...I was just scared. I'm sure you've noticed...but people get scared of things they don't understand. I didn't understand what was going on this morning. I've never felt magic like that before.” You paused and looked up passed his scarf, “I need to talk to him, but I don't hate him.”

Papyrus smiled and wrapped his arms tightly around you and gently lifted you, “Thank you human! I am happy to hear this!” He spun you lightly before setting you back down and placed his hands firmly on your shoulders, “Sans has been happiest while living here.”

Your cheeks flushed lightly as you watched the taller skeleton's face light up. “Happiest while living here?” You couldn't imagine why.

“Yes human!” He quickly turned and bounded towards the door, “I am relieved!” The door flung open and the chill of the air slowly seeped into the warm house. You curled your toes into the carpet, wishing you had put on socks. “Brother always smiles, but when he tells you his insufferable puns and you laugh, it feels like he really means it. You mean a lot to him.” Papyrus didn't allow you to respond before he quickly darted out the door and closed it quickly behind him. Leaving you lightly gripping the fabric of your white sweater over your chest.

_Sans is only happy cause you're laughing at his jokes._

You shook your head and returned to finish the dishes. Papyrus had a habit of twisting things in his head, you chuckled softly to yourself when you recalled him assuming going shopping with him was considered a date.

_There's no way he'd be interested in me like that. He's just nice._

You finished the dishes and yawned once again. It was too early to wake up this morning. It's been several hours, but the day seems to have been dragging on. You stopped yourself at the end of the hall and looked into Sans room. You quickly remembered this morning and reached for your neck to grasp as nothing.

_My pendant..._

You forgot that your pendant broke this morning during the incident. You didn't get a change to explain to Papyrus that you didn't think Sans was having a nightmare. It looked more like a night terror. Unlike nightmares, you shouldn't wake someone from a night terror. You sighed softly, you had woken him up, and he probably wasn't aware he was even awake. It made sense to you at least.

_I wish I could have thought this rationally this morning...maybe Sans wouldn't have run off..._

You shook your head once again and took a small step into his room. You had to stop thinking negatively. Your pendant was in here somewhere, and you hoped Sans would forgive you if you were only here to look for your pendant right? You flipped the light on and glanced around the room. How were you going to find it in this mess? You sighed and furrowed your brow, you couldn't leave until you found it.

It may have only just been a few days, but that small gift meant a lot to you. It reminded you of your soul, reminded you that you were no longer alone. Any time you felt unsure you made it a habit to hold onto it. It was reassuring, and now with it missing, you felt uneasy.

_Where is it? Why isn't it here?_

You sighed as you slowly sat on Sans' bed. How could it be gone? You lifted your wrist to your mouth and bit down lightly on the fabric as you pulled your arm through. It was warm in Sans' room, and you still had your tank top on underneath the sweater. Once your arm was free you pulled off the white sweater and tossed it behind you on the bed. His blanket and pillow caught your attention.

The same that he had lent you when laying on the couch, and when you found yourself awake in his-

“No no no no!” You said allowed and shook your head. “That was when I was sick. Nothing was going on!” Your cheeks flushed again as you tried to banish the thought from your head.

_Then there was Christmas Eve..._

“He just couldn't hear you!” You shouted and covered your mouth.

_Christmas morning as well..._

“Whhhhhy!” You groaned. Here you were, sitting on Sans' bed, arguing with yourself. This had to be a new low. You could feel the tops of your ears burning. You whined as you wanted hide away until these thoughts passed. “I mean a lot to him?” You whispered and groaned again. Why did Papyrus say it like that. Sans was your friend, and he treated everyone like this, right?

Your hand quickly grabbed the blanket from his bed and wrapped it around you tightly. It was cool and felt nice against your bare shoulders. It was comforting. You felt a calming sensation as you took a deep breath, the covers smelled a bit musty, and it faintly reminded you of Sans.

_I hope you're okay..._

You once again yawned and chose to fall onto your side. You bounced lightly against the mattress. It was old, you could feel a few springs, and your body rolled naturally into the small dip in the bed. How long had he owned this mattress? There wasn't even a box spring.

You glanced around the room once again, there was a few books, but most of what you saw was just piles of socks and clothes. His telescope was the only luxurious thing he owned it seemed. Papyrus mentioned that Sans wanted to see the stars, but there wasn't a place to view them here. Mt. Ebott was a good two hour drive away. That would be far enough to escape the bright city lights and see the stars. Maybe Sans would like the science museum downtown. They had an exhibit on the solar system with rooms that simulated the night sky to show off the constellations.

Another yawn escaped your lips as you pulled the covers over your head and nuzzled your cheek into the mattress.

_Please come home..._

**~ * ~**

The small violet heart lightly spun on the counter top of the wooden bar. A soft sigh was exhausted from the small being as a familiar red bottle tapped the counter between the heart and their gaze.

“Thanks, Grilbz.” Sans slowly sat up on his stool before he took the bottle.

Grillby grabbed a small cloth and stood behind his counter. Some things never changed as he watched the smaller skeleton. How many times was it now? He'd lost count long before leaving Underground. Sans was a long time customer, but he was an old friend first and foremost. He adjusted the glasses on his face gently before leaning his back against the bar. Sans barged in a while ago, his appearance was more disheveled then normal. He had been holding a broken necklace up until just a moment ago, finally letting it rest atop the bar.

Grillby lightly tapped the counter near the pendant, drawing Sans' attention to it.

“This? It was a gift.” He sighed and took a long pause as he swallowed a bit of ketchup from the upturned bottle. “Remember the human I brought by?”

Grillby nodded, his shoulders falling slightly.

“Yeah...sorry...try not to take it personal. She's...a bit difficult...” Sans sighed and curled his right arm on counter below him before resting his chin on his sleeve. “It's not like she'll probably ever come back here...” Sans jumped as his head clicked with what he just said, “I mean...because of me, not you Grilbz.” Grillby watched the flustered skeleton groan and slowly reach back for the heart. “I've messed up...big time.”

Grillby set his cloth down and placed both hands on the counter in front of Sans. Sans slowly looked and sat back up, laying his other arm on top of the other.

“I scared her.” He paused, “Not just that, I attacked her. I was half asleep, didn't realize it. God...she was terrified.” He grabbed for the pendant and held it up, “I gave her this pendant...it broke sometime during all of this. I tried to apologize, make sure she was okay. She threw it at me.” He groaned again and placed the heart back on the counter in front of him. “All the progress I've made...and I screwed it up.”

Sans felt Grillby's hand rest a top his shoulder, reassuring him. Sans cleared his throat and offered his friend a sad smile. “Yeah...I know, I need to talk to her, but I'm afraid I'm going to-” Sans' phone chime went off and he slowly pulled the phone out. He had several messages and a missed call. The call was from Toriel, and he had several messages from you and one from an unknown contact. He sighed and held his breath as he opened your messages.

_**I'm sorry.** _

_**Please come home.** _

“I can't say I was expecting that...” He laughed lightly, he was worrying himself for nothing it seemed. “Even now...she is apologizing to me when she didn't do anything wrong." Grillby took his hand back and gently lifted the broken chain and heart from the counter to take a closer look at it. “Now...who is this from.” He sighed, it was probably some sort of spam message.

_**Ī̦̄ h̄ōp̄ē̥̄ ̗̄᷉̄̈̄̄ͨ̄ͅȳōū'̄r̄ē ō̼̄᷃̄k̄āȳ̋̄.̄.̄.̄** _

Sans rubbed the screen on his phone. “What in the world?” He grumbled and tapped the side of the phone. He would have Alphys look at it once she returned. Sans shoved his phone back into his pocket and looked up at Grillby who had disappeared from behind the bar into his back room. The pendant was missing from the counter, so he figured he'd wait.

How was he going to approach you. He couldn't forget the fear in your eyes, or the dull color your soul gave off. What ever it was, he didn't want to forgive himself. What had he done when he called your soul? He sighed as he recalled the familiar nightmare he had. A sense of dread washed over him, he could have killed you. What would he have done if that had happened? How could he live with himself. Sans sighed again. That didn't happen, you're fine. What's what he told himself. He just needed to talk to you. Sans was stirred from his thoughts when his friend opened the backroom door and approached Sans from the other side of the counter. He outstretched his hand to Sans.

“What's this?” Sans asked as he flipped his left hand palm up under Grillby's. A moment later, the small pendant was gently placed into his hand, the chain fixed and it was almost as good as new. The chain was still warm from where it was obvious that he had melded the metal back together. It was far from perfect, but it was hardly noticeable. “Thanks pal, I owe ya.” Sans said quietly, a gentle smile forming as he gently traced his thumb over the heart. “I'll catch you later...time for me to head home.”

Grillby nodded and returned to cleaning his counter top, getting ready to open when noon rolled around. Sans hopped down from his bar stool and in a blink of an eye, he was gone.

**~ * ~**

Sans could smell what the two of you had for breakfast. The house was silent, and at the end of the hall he could see his bedroom light on.

“Papyrus?” Sans called out into the still home. There was no response. “____?” Again, he was met with silence. “Guess it's just me.” Sans shrugged and slowly walked towards his bedroom.

He flipped the light and tossed his jacket onto the floor next to his bed. His nightmare left him exhausted, not to mention waking up at 4am. The blind for his room blocked out the sun and he wouldn't have to worry about feeling guilty about napping. He kicked off his shoes and sat back on his bed and grabbed his blanket. He tugged it lightly but was met with some resistance. He turned his head, his vision still adjusting to the darkness and crawled over to the spot his covers were.

He sighed, giving up on waiting for his eyes to adjust, he summoned his magic to his left eye, illuminating the room. He crawled over the hard lump under his covers, straddling it.

“Papyrus, you better not be sleeping in my bed again!” Sans grumbled with a slight annoyance. There went his plan for a nap. He grabbed tightly hold on his blanket and quickly pulled them towards him.

The sudden motion of the covers being pulled back startled you awake. In your slight panic you bolted upright in the bed, your face crashing hard against something solid. “Ah!” You cried out and fell back against the bed, your legs felt a sudden heaviness and wouldn't move. That didn't bother you as much as your nose did. You rubbed it lightly, it stung, and you could feel what was probably blood slowly begin to drip.

“What are you doing in my bed?” Sans asked, more surprised than anything, “Are you okay? You hit me pretty hard there.” He gently rubbed his chin as he turned towards the door and turned on his light with his magic.

“Shans?” You opened your eyes and looked up, sure enough, the smaller skeleton was straddling your legs. It didn't take long to realize that he is what you had collided with. You held your nose and stared up at him through watery eyes.

It took both of you a moment to realize what was going on. Sans quickly jumped back and stood at the side of the bed, “Hey, you okay? Here...let me go and grab som-” He turned to walk towards the door but his wrist was caught. He turned to see your bloody hand grabbing his wrist. “____?”

“Dun un away!” You huffed out with your nose lightly dripping down your chin.

Sans sighed as he rotated his wrist quickly to grab yours. “Come on then. Let's get you cleaned up.” He was already pulling you to your feet before you could even answer. He changed his direction and walked to the door to his and Papyrus' connected bathroom. He directed you to the cold room and guided you to sit on the closed toilet. “Sit here a moment. Let me grab a towel and a cloth from the shelf.

Your eyes slowly followed the direction he was pointing. There was a small shelf near the door with different color and size of towels. When you were sure he wasn't going to leave you let go of his wrist and watched him carefully. He grabbed a moderately sized towel and grabbed a smaller wash cloth before returning to the sink near you. He ran the water and ran his wrist under the faucet. Only then did you realize that there was blood on his wrist, your blood.

“I-I'm sho shorry! I didn realizsh!” You flushed lightly and squeezed your nose. It must look worse then what it actually was. You looked down to your tank top to see the dark blotches from where the blood had dripped from your chin. Sans didn't seem to listen as he rung the cloth out and turned to you slowly. He leaned down and gently wiped your chin and neck before he tapped your hand.

“Let me see it...” He said softly. You removed your hand and he guided your head back to get a better look. The cold cloth felt nice against the heat rising in your face. While he helped clean the blood away, it was almost like this morning never happened, but it did. The blush you felt had went away, and your brow furrowed lightly as he slowly pulled the red and pink cloth away. “There...” He said softly as he tossed the cloth into the sink and looked around the room. “Hey...you have tissue in your bathroom right?” You try to nod but he held your chin and guided you to look down at the floor, “Got it, I'll be back, trust me, just keep your head down like this.” He quickly walked around you back into his room. You could hear your bathroom door open and a few moments later he returned holding a roll of toilet paper. “We don't really have a need for this...so I don't keep any in here.” He laughed lightly as he offered it to you. “This will keep you for making a further mess.”

You took the tissue from him and pulled a little away and rolled it before stuffing the long pieces into your nose. You looked and felt ridiculous. Why were you always embarrassing yourself in front of him? You just wanted to curl up and hide.

“Hey...” He gently took your hand and lightly tugged you to stand in front of him.

You wanted to be angry with him. You had every right to be angry with him, why was he being so nice to you. Why was he making it so hard to stay angry with him. You sighed inwardly, you knew he was always like this. Even this morning, he tried to make sure you were okay, but you freaked out on him and drove him away. Your eyes fell as he pulled you along with him, guiding you back into his room. He stopped suddenly, causing you to look up.

“Are...are you okay?” Sans asked quietly, he couldn't look you in the eyes.

A small nod is all you could manage. You bit the inside of your cheek, you had so many things you wanted to say, but you no longer felt justified in saying them.

“Hey...please...talk to me. If I hurt you...please tell me.” His other hand found it's way to gently cup your face, turning it upwards to look at him.

You parted your lips and quickly shut them. He wasn't being fair. You tried to open your mouth again, but froze when he pulled you forward into him. Your knees buckled and the two of you fell to the floor.

“I'm so sorry...please...forgive me.” His arms tightly gripped you as his voice shook. “I didn't mean to hurt you.”

“Stop!” You pushed him away. You knocked yourself off balance. You instinctively tried to steady yourself by grabbing onto the front of Sans' shirt, but it didn't help. The two of you stumbled backwards. Thankfully, you landed on a pile of Sans' clothes and slowly closed your eyes. You could feel the tears burning at the corner of your eyes before you opened them to stare up at him.

His eyes were full of sadness, worry, and there was something else there, there was always something else hiding behind them.

You clenched your teeth and let go of his shirt before balling up your fist and lightly hit his right shoulder. “You're not being fair!” You bit back your tears again, “You...you ran!”

You shut your eyes again and turned your good eye away from him. You didn't want to see his sullen expression. You wanted to be angry, but if you looked at him...

“I'm sorry...” His voice was slow, broken and you could feel his knees press against your sides.

“If I would have ran...you'd chase me...” You took in a deep breath, calming your own shaky voice, “...but if you run, I can't follow...you're not fair!”

The room fell silent around you. The only sounds were the heavy, angry breaths you heaved. You raised your fist again to hit his shoulder once more, but you instead felt a bony hand catch it. He held it gently and brought it close to his eye. He nuzzled it softly and you quickly turned to watch him. Your anger slowly leaving you. All you could see was the pain written on his face, the guilt.

“You scared me...” Your voice cracked, a soft hiccup escaping your lips. “You scared me....I thought...I thought my soul was...” Before you could finish your sentence, you felt the familiar tug at your core and with little resistance the dull violet soul appeared between the two of you. It startled you, but you felt his left hand gently cup it, his thumb lightly caressing it.

“It's okay...” His voice sounded full of relief. “I was afraid...I was afraid I damaged it...”

You watched him carefully, it was a strange feeling, him holding your soul. You blinked your eyes a few times, feeling the tears create wet trails around the lobes of your ears. “You grabbed it this morning...” You started softly. “It hurt...I thought...I thought you were going to crush it...me...” You sucked in another heavy breath, “I don't understand...next thing...next thing it was blue. My soul changed colors...and you threw me.” Sans froze with your words, his thumb that was gently rubbing your soul stopped. “You...you...” You could no longer form words. You closed your eyes, you couldn't stand to look at him any longer. It hurt to see his expression.

“____...” His hand that held onto your soul slipped away, allowing it to return to your core before he pulled you off the floor into another gentle embrace. This time, you didn't pull away. “I'm sorry...”

You nuzzled your face into his shoulder, “You're not being fair...I made you run...”

“No, you didn't.” He as he slowly sat back on his legs, pulling you into him. “I needed to think...I'm sorry.” He sighed softly, “You didn't do anything wrong.”

“But...”

“No buts...” Sans chuckled softly. “I'm glad you're not hurt...”

You could only nod as you wrapped your arm around his neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *edits: fixed the nosebleed part and found a few grammar mistakes I missed earlier.
> 
> I'm so sorry...I've seriously been trying to write this since the night I put up chapter 11. I have rewritten this chapter at least three or four times. So much has changed... 
> 
> These are a few of the changes that were made:
> 
> -The beginning, Reader originally ran to her room and I was going to have Papyrus follow her after Sans left.  
> -Another change was Reader was going to go back to work in this chapter, and Ally would tease/hint at Reader liking Sans after he sent flowers along with the fixed pendant to apologize.  
> -Papyrus originally wasn't going to leave Reader alone, Frisk was going to come over and Papyrus was going to translate more of the "ship" (sorry I love mischievous Frisk <3)  
> -Sans originally didn't have a side, it was only going to be Reader's POV for the entirety of this chapter.  
> -Grillby wasn't planned to reappear this chapter...I swear I'm still going to do him justice.  
> -Apology wasn't planned for this chapter  
> -Decided to start throwing in the hints of romance
> 
> The above was just tiny changes...I have a list of 40 points on an outline that I just ended up tossing. 
> 
> So today's chapter was longer, maybe not by much, but it's relatively longer then a normal chapter. I've been laid up in bed the last few days, the last two days I have finally felt well enough to write. My cold is in full force with a full blown ear infection, so I'm currently deaf in my right ear until that clears up.
> 
> While resting, I've planned out a lot of things for the future of this fic, we still have the official romance, we have a new element I haven't introduced yet, and if I keep talking I'm going to spoil things. I'm sorry for the delay in chapters once again. I can't promise the next chapter will be out within the next 3 to 4 days
> 
> Thank you for reading, gonna pass out with my medicine again and then start writing once again when I wake up.
> 
> For updates on chapters here is my shameless tumblr plug:  
> http://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	13. Misconception?

It would have been silent if it wasn't for the incessant white noise that filled your head. You had no clue what time it was, only that it was a constant twilight around you. Tall dead trees, so dense, choked the well-trodden path around you. Light refused to light the deepest portions, and an empty darkness loomed among them. Something could be there, watching and you'd never know, never see them coming. Despite thinking this, you didn't feel fear.

Every breath you took blurred your vision momentarily before it disappeared into the cold air. It had to be cold, but you felt nothing. Below the snow, almost ice, laid the stained stone. You've never seen this before, but it felt so familiar.

Everything stopped as a white light flashed and the white noise skipped in the back of your head. In front of you was a broken barricade. A post was missing from it's middle, allowing access to the small bridge. The dense dead trees seemed to thin and you could tell there was an opening. Beyond that you could see the snow covered conifers, pines weighed heavily by the dusted snow.

Another flash, and a skip with with static filling your head, a small figure stood between you and the barricade. It was like listening to a broken record, the static kept resetting as the small figure slowly turned around to face you. The face obscured by sudden tears, the only thing you could make out clearly was the frightening expression shifting on the lower portion of their face. With every skip came a flash of bright white light and the sudden change of soft timid frown to a grin curled so tightly, baring their teeth.

____

**~ * ~**

Your eyes open slowly, you could feel a cold sweat slowly slide down your neck as your blurry vision focused on the unfamiliar ceiling above.

“____? “

That was Papyrus, you were sure at least. It was hard to focus, your head felt heavy as your ears buzzed uncomfortably. That dream left you uncomfortable, but it was refreshing. This was the first time you've not dreamt about the hospital or the accident in a long time. It was an off putting feeling, but maybe you were able to convince yourself you were finally moving forward

A groan softly escapes your lips as you rotate your hips to lift your lower back off the bed. Your back ached something fierce, what were you laying on? A creak of old springs quickly reminded you that you must have fallen asleep in Sans' bed earlier. You sighed as you tried to roll out of bed, you needed to stretch, but the blankets around you kept you firmly in place. You gently rubbed your nose, wincing lightly.

“You heard something in here?” Papyrus said softly outside the direction of the bedroom door.

_Who is he talking to?_

The buzzing slowly died down in your ears as you tried to sit up. You felt something hard tug against your ribs when the door to the bedroom flew open. The light was blinding at first and two dark shadows took a few steps into the room before flipping the light on.

“Ah! There you are hu-...” Papyrus stopped shortly as his eyes adjusted to what he was seeing in front of him. At his feet Frisk peered from behind him, wearing the biggest of grins.

“What...why are you staring at me like that?” You gently rubbed your eye, to try and focus on trying to sit up again. You felt what ever was wrapped around your ribs pull you back down and your left shoulder bumped something hard. You snapped your head to the left to see what was you fell onto. Your jaw dropped and the heat rise on your face. A very peaceful looking Sans laid next to you, softly snoring. If Sans was next to you, then what was around your middle was...

_Oh...my...god!_

You squeaked and you felt your fingers twitch. Your mouth opened and shut many times but no words would escape. Any noise you made was a degree of squeaks and whines. Your head spun and it felt like a coil was tightening in the pit of your stomach. Movement from the door caught your attention as the light was flipped back off and Papyrus was turned away, pushing the unwilling Frisk out of the room.

Papyrus slowly closed the door and whispered through he crack in the door to you. “I'm happy you have forgiven Sans.”

The door latched and the there was a still in the room. Your ears burned and you at some point held your breath. You forced yourself to breath before laying back and looking up at the ceiling. Internally you were screaming. Your head spun, how did you end up in this situation? Swallowing another deep breath you heaved a slow sigh. Despite the awkward position you found yourself in, the discomfort you felt, you couldn't help but feel a wide grin curl up on your lips. Your cheeks ached at how intense it was.

_This don't mean anything!_

You lightly shook your head. Papyrus really got his misconception rooted in your mind. You tilted your head back to sneak a small look at the smaller skeleton, he looked so peaceful. You lightly rub your eye again. You couldn't make out every detail, but you could see the curve of his cheek bone that was tucked under the warm blanket wrapped around the two.

It felt weird. This morning had been such a wild ride. Sans' magic had such a positive impact on your life so far, but you were quickly reminded that it shouldn't be something to take lightly. He didn't warn you in so many words, but he made it clear that he didn't want to hurt you the first time. Maybe it shouldn't have needed to be said. You've not seen monsters use magic in public. All your experiences with magic has been with Sans.

. . .

You whined again and pulled the blanket up over your face. Internally screaming again. Thinking like that made it sound incredibly lewd. Sneaking another peek at Sans you sighed in relief. There was some solace that he wasn't able to see your soul right now.

Sans had apologized over and over again this morning. His arms wrapped almost painfully tight around you as he shook. You didn't want to hear the quaver in his voice, or feel the soft sobs on your shoulder. It was heartbreaking. He didn't mean to, you knew that more then anything. How could you stay mad at him after all of that?

How many times had he held you while you cried? Returning the sentiment made you feel equal to him, that you were no longer just someone he took care of. Your gestures may have felt small, but they meant a lot. Cradling his head, gently petting it offered him comfort as well as a small laugh. Your eyes were heavy, when did you become such a cry baby? It was around the time you met Sans wasn't it. That didn't matter, something about Sans made you feel safe. You couldn't hide, and part of you didn't want to.

Sans' left hand twitched against your ribs as he mumbled softly in his sleep. The grin from earlier finally loosening the corners of your mouth to allow you to relax into a gentle smile. There was something about his sleeping face that pulled painfully at your heart. There was something sad, something worn down that was written all over his face. You wanted to reach out and touch it, but jumped when you heard the familiar chime of his cell ring.

Slowly you rolled over, catching sight of the soft glow of his phone safely stored in his jacket pocket near the bed. You pulled yourself onto your right and tried to reach for the jacket when you felt a second, bony, arm snake under your torso and pull you backwards. Your back softly pressed against Sans' ribs and the feeling off his forehead pressed against the back of your head renewed blush in your face.

“S-Sans!” You managed to squeak out.

He hummed softly and you felt his warm breath against the back of your neck, sending a chill up your spine followed by a trail of goosebumps. “Let it go to voicemail...” He said softly as he nuzzled the back of your head. “I'd rather stay like this.”

Your head spun, this was almost too much and a slow whine escaped your lips. A soft chuckle came from the skeleton behind you as he loosened his grip around your middle. “You sound like you're in a good mood.”

“You're teasing me...” You forced out, feeling light headed and dizzy. You were thankful he couldn't see your face, you didn't want him to see the dopey grin plastered on your face.

“Why would I do that?” He was toying with you, and you couldn't help but chuckle.

“You're giving your brother the wrong idea...him and Frisk saw us.” You whispered. He hummed in response and you felt him slowly roll onto his back. He pulled his left arm away, leaving the space it occupied slightly chilled with the absence of his heat. You took a deep breath, calming your nerves before you slowly pushed against the bed to roll onto your left to face Sans once again. He gently lifted the blankets to make sure your shoulder was covered.

The white lights of his eyes focused just on your chest, or rather, he was looking through to something else. You gently smile and covered the spot his eyes were staring through. His gaze shifted upwards to you as you quickly adverted your eyes.

“Feeling alright?” Sans voice cuts through the silence and you feel forced to meet his gaze again.

“Y-yeah...” You stuttered and took a slow deep breath, “What were you looking at?”

The corner of his mouth twitched as he rolled his head over to stare up at the ceiling. In the darkness you could see the faint shade of blue cover his cheekbones, causing you to shift slightly.

“Your soul...” He admitted quietly.

“You can see it?” You sounded more surprised then you should.

He laughed and turned his head to look at you before he spoke again, “Yeah, I told you before I've seen it plenty of times.”

You felt yourself roll into a ball, ducking your head low, “I didn't think...I thought you had to pull it...”

Sans lightly laughed again, “It's a bit complicated, I can't exactly see it. I can see it's glow, not it's color, it's condition.” He rolled over again to face you and traced the familiar shape in the space between the two of you. “You know everyone has a soul right?” In response you nod and he continued, “You don't need to see it to know it's there. A long time ago, humans could see souls just as monsters still can see them today.” He paused again to catch his thoughts.

“Humans could before?”

“Yeah. In a way they still can, but they may not realize it.” He slowly extended his hand and cupped the right side of your face. You flinch in response and close your eyes as you felt the pressure of his thumb gently rub against the scarred skin below your right eye. “Are you familiar with the phrase the light in your eyes?”

“Y-yes?” You whisper softly, slowly opening your eyes, studying his expression.

“Have you noticed how bright they shine, or how they look when the light leaves them?” His question resonated with you and you softly smiled.

“Window to the soul...” You spoke softly and he smiled.

“Exactly...” His expression hardened as his attention was drawn to his phone that was once again ringing. He grumbled softly as he sat up, removing his arm from under you to steady himself to grab the jacket on the side of the bed. The jacket slipped under the covers and rested between the two of you as he fished the phone from his pocket. It chimed once more before he flipped his phone open and pressed it against his head. “Hello?”

You watched him as he yawned softly. You turned slightly to wiggle your arm out from under you to grab the blanket, that was now pulled down to your hip since Sans had sat up, to pull back up on you. The cool air of the bedroom chilling you. Sans noticed you and pulled the blanket up over you, smiling down at you before his attention was drawn back to the the person on the other side of the phone.

“Directions?” He paused and sighed, “Give Papyrus a call, I'm a bit busy at the moment...yeah...be careful." He closed the phone and tossed it onto his jacket before laying back in the bed, sighing. The room remained silent except for the the noise of loud banging of something hitting the windows and roof above you.

“What's that?” The question was to no on in particular, but Sans chose to answer anyway.

“Hail, apparently storming really bad out there,” Sans said quietly as he stared at the ceiling.

The thought crossed your mind about who he could have possibly been talking to, but it really wasn't your business. You closed your eyes and listened to the sounds of the hail above you. You opened your eyes slowly and turned your head to face Sans once again.

“What about your soul?”

Sans slowly turned his head to acknowledge you, “My soul?”

A slow nod is what you manage before looking away, “I mean...your eyes are different...” The blush returning to your cheeks as you slowly stuttered.

He chuckled lightly, “Can show you if you want.” You couldn't help but look at him again, and he slowly rolled over and propped himself up on his elbow to give you a teasing grin. “Interested huh?” He said softly.

You blushed and couldn't hide your smile, “I am curious...”

He smiled and and adjusted the covers between the two of you, “Close your eyes.” You quickly closed them, excited. It didn't take long, but you could see the light and opened your eyes. He laughed lightly, “Hey now, didn't say you could open them yet.” You blushed and closed your eyes once again. He laughed lightly, “Hey, you've already seen, only teasing you.”

A soft chuckle escape your lips as you open your eyes once more. They focused on the blue light in front of you. Your breath caught in your throat as you stared at it, it was the same blue that your heart had turned earlier. Unlike your soul, his was floating upside down.

“It's...it's the same color as...” Multiple thoughts and memories coursed through your mind as you stumbled on you words. A soft gasp escaped your lips as Sans gently caught the hand that instinctively reached to curl to the spot your soul sat.

“Yeah...same color...” He offered a sad smile before turning his attention back to his soul.

Gently you squeezed his hand, reassuring him you'd be okay before he pulled his hand away. You frowned slightly, something about it seemed sad. The color was dark, similar intensity to yours back in the hospital, but it's light was steady, almost guarded. Your hand slowly outstretched to it, recoiling as you felt the warmth radiate from it.

“Careful,” He laughed lightly as he caught the tips of your fingers. “Similar to yours, I can't touch it.” To prove his point he lightly waved his hand through it.

“So that means I can touch it?” Curiosity overtook you as you reached for it again just to have your wrist caught tightly by Sans' hand. For a moment, the soul's color sparked and a new shade of blue surfaced before disappearing.

“Yeah...not a good idea.” He nervously laughed before calling his soul back. The room was once again dark which left an empty feeling inside of you.

“I'm sorry-” You began before Sans laughed and cut you off.

“Apologizing again, you do that a lot.” His grip on your wrist loosened and instead his thumb gently rubbed your palm. “Why?”

There was that question again, why?

“Why?” You echoed his question. Before you could respond to his question you felt his hand another hand cup the left side of your face and raise your gaze to meet him.

“Don't worry about it. Not an easy answer it seems.” Your eyes shut slowly and you exhaled a soft sigh. When you didn't respond he squeezed your cheek lightly, “Hey, you alright?”

A terrible grin spread across your lips, “No, sorry...I'm all left...” You felt his thumb twitch under your eye and you slowly looked up at him. His eyebrow was cocked as he stared at you with a small smirk on his face.

“Really?” He chuckled softly and squeezed your cheek again.

“Just trying to lighten the mood...” You said softly with a small laugh. “I think I'm allowed to make those types of jokes.”

“You are.” Sans agreed and laughed once again. “Still, it's something I am hands off about.”

You nuzzled your face into his hand and gently squeezed his other, “I dunno, you seem pretty hands on at the moment...” Sans blushed quickly and you felt him pull away from you. You couldn't help but laugh until you could hardly breathe. “I'm sorry...”

Sans shrugged and yawned, “Long as you're smiling.” His yawn was contagious as you quickly covered your mouth. “Not sure about you, but I am going to take a nap. You're more then welcomed to stay.” All you can manage a nod as you listened to him hum softly as he pulled the covers around the two of you and settled himself back in. This feeling was nice.

Silence filled the room once again. Your eyes fluttered between trying to stay open and closing. A soft hissing in the back of your head as something in the distance caught your attention.

“Th-thank you!”

“Woo it's coming down hard out there. Roads are pretty bad! Oh hey! Didn't know Frisk was here. How are you doing nerd?”

Your head felt heavy as you drifted in and out of consciousness when your ears picked up on heavy footsteps approaching the bedroom door.

“In here? Oh, this is going to be good!”

The door swung open, banging loudly against the wall and you quickly jumped, latching tightly onto Sans' arm as you hide your face into his shoulder.

A long high pitched whistled sounded as the light above you flipped on. Beside you Sans slowly sat up, being mindful of you as he glared at the person standing in his door.

“Undyne! You shouldn't barge in...oh...” Alphys rushed around the corner to latch onto Undyne's leg before she caught sight of the two of you. “Oh, my...” You could hear the embarrassment in her voice.

“I had my hunch, but this all but confirms it now. Good for you.” She beamed as she folded her arms and leaned against the wall.

“Good to see you too Undyne.” Sans sighed as he yawned once again. “Suppose I can't get away with napping anymore huh?”

A toothy grin crossed Undyne's lips as she leaned forward, “As long as you let us borrow your girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?!” You managed to squeak out before you sat up, losing balance and falling against Sans. You gently push away from him before hiding your face in the palm of your hand, another whine escaping your lips. You yelped soon after as you felt Undyne grab your upper arm before pulling you from the bed. You stumbled to your feet and tripped slightly over the covers. Undyne's other arm caught you before directing you towards the door. “Wha....wait! Let me grab my sweater!”

Undyne lets you go as you stumble to balance yourself. She wildly laughs as you find your sweater and struggle to pull it on over your head before you felt Undyne's hands grasp the sides and pull it down over you. “Alright you're good! Time to talk!”

Alphys quickly jumped out of the way as Undyne hurries passed and towards the living room. She directed you to the couch where Frisk and Papyrus was sitting. Before you could even get comfortable Frisk crawls over to your side and frantically starts signing. Undyne takes a seat across from you on the edge of the coffee table, laughing as she watches Frisk.

“Whoa...slow down there.” You said softly as Frisk smile widens and bounces on the seat next to you. “I'm sorry I can't understand you.”

Undyne lets out a hearty laugh before she leans forward to pick up Frisk and pull them into their lap. “They were excited to see your date with Uncle Sans went well.”

“D-date?” You stammered and looked towards the floor. “Y-you guys have the wrong idea!”

“Do we?” Undyne chided. “What would you call your cuddling with him just now then?”

You pushed your back into the cushion of the couch, you were not ready for this. “N-no! You really have the wrong idea! We were just sleeping...I swear!”

Frisk bounced again in Undyne's laugh, before signing again, only stopping when Sans walked around the corner. Their smile shifting to a soft giggle.

“Making trouble again kiddo?” Sans laughed lightly before approaching the couch. “Feeling okay?” He tapped the side of the couch close to you, making you jump.

“Alright, you two take Frisk, we need to have some girl talk,” Undyne said as he jumped up and handed Frisk over to Papyrus. “This conversation isn't meant for small ones.” She ruffled Frisk's hair before jumping onto the couch next to you.

“You just got here!” Papyrus sighed as he stood up reluctantly, holding a pouting Frisk.

“We'll be here for a while, just need to borrow ____ for a bit.” Undyne cackled again and threw her arm around you, squeezing you tightly to her side. “While we're back in town, we have to go out tomorrow night! There's this rad party tomorrow to bring in the new year.”

“Sure, can check it out. Don't tease ____ too much.” Sans nodded and turned to head back towards his room.

Papyrus sighed but bounded off to his room to entertain Frisk. All that was left in the living room was Alphys, Undyne, and yourself. The hail from outside sounded louder and the hissing in the back of your head was louder then earlier. What had you gotten yourself into.

Alphys quickly got it up to take a seat close to her girlfriend leaning forward, offering a shy smile.

“So nerd, how long have you two been an item?” Undyne began, pulling you close and rubbing the top of your head with her other hand.

“Hey!” You stammered and pushed away. She let you go with a laugh and leaned back against the couch, Alphys leaning over her lap to get closer.

“W-we are happy for both of you. Sans has been happier since meeting you. H-he has been much more an-animated at the office.” Alphys blushed lightly, you weren't sure what she was thinking.

“N-no really! We're not dating! I-I just...we were talking...and I...I fell asleep.” You managed to force out before hiding your red face, groaning softly.

“Not pulling our legs? Seriously just friends?” Undyne sighed, tilting her head to the side.

You nod quickly, “I-I mean...I like Sans...but I...he's just nice to me! Really! I've not really been around a lot of people...he's just...helped me a lot...” Another groan escapes your lips.

Honestly, you weren't sure how you felt. Sans...he's been so wonderful to you. His friends are great, his brother is great, hell he's opened up your world. It only made sense to be attached to him right? This wasn't love, couldn't be. Or...

The tops of your ears feel hot and Undyne lets out another loud cackle. “Seems like you've got yourself a little crush.”

You gave up and shrugged, “I dunno...I mean...I...” You took a shallow breath and lightly tugged on your sweater, “I don't want to lose him as a friend...I mean I don't know what he even thinks...I don't really know much about him...”

“There's no way he's not into you! The amount of time and attention he gives you. Man, you couldn't get him to sit through an entire sentry shift while in Underground. He fawns over you.” Undyne lightly punched your shoulder, jarring you a moment, but you offer her a smile.

“I..I just dunno...I don't even know how I feel...” Another soft sigh escapes your lips, but you continue to smile none the less.

“Then let's find out! You got a nice dress for tomorrow night?” Undyne turned her attention back to Alphys and wrapped her arms around the small yellow monster tightly.

“A dress? N-no. I don't own anything like that...” Your reply was quick. You've never needed a dress before. You were happy with your baggy sweaters and comfy pants.

“Tomorrow, we're going dress shopping then!” Undyne let out an excited cheer as a mischievous grin curled over her lips once again.

“Oh! I have a few ideas! We have to put your hair up!” Alphys chimed in, sitting up to nearly sit on her girlfriend's lap.

“My h-hair up?” Instinctively you covered the right side of your face and furrowed your brows. “Oh...no..no...that's not-”

“You'll look amazing!” Alphys smiled.

“Worried about a few scars?” Undyne raised an eyebrow and tapped her eye patch. “Wear them proud, they're apart of you. They're wicked cool!”

“C-cool?” The hand hiding the right side of your face slowly dropped to rest in your lap. “I...never thought they were cool...”

“You kidding?” Undyne lets go of Alphys to lean over you, moving the hair that hid the right side of your face, “You're pretty freakin cute.”

“R-really?” You stammered, not expecting that comment.

Alphys nodded in agreement, “Yes, Sans will think you are adorable.”

The corners of your mouth curled upwards into a soft smile, “Really?”

“Then it's settled! Hey! PAPYRUS!” Undyne called down the hall. It didn't take long, but Papyrus came rushing out of his room and appeared around the corner.

“What is it Undyne?” Frisk followed quickly after him, smiling as they peered out from behind his leg.

“Have room for two more tonight?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, sorry my updates have been slow. It's just been hard to sit down and hash it out. I have figured out a lot of how the future of this fic will go. I can't even begin to explain how excited I am.
> 
> Also....13 chapters in and finally hints to romance! What do we have here? I enjoyed writing this fluffy chapter, but other then that I don't have much to say now since I'm super exhausted. See you next chapter!
> 
> Shameless Plug for updates:  
> http://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	14. In A Heartbeat

“Hey dweeb! Where's your mirror?” Undyne called from your bathroom.

“Oh...um...” You stumbled, trying to think of something to say. “It...it's under the sink...”

“What the hell is it doing there?!” The sounds of the door below the sink could be quickly heard opening, slamming against the tiny waste bin.

Your bathroom was a disaster zone. You stored all your medical supplies in there; lotions, bandages, soaps, creams, disinfectants....anything and everything you needed or could need. Undyne had been in there for a while shuffling things around followed by a few crashes. You were afraid to enter the room.

“Got a screwdriver?” Undyne popped her head around the corner of your bathroom's door, holding the mirror under her arm. “How did you get this down anyway?”

“Oh..um...not easily? I think I cut my foot up pretty badly...” You nervously laughed and gently rubbed the top of your left foot. “There should be a crack in it...it landed pretty hard.”

Undyne flipped it around, “Gah, this wont do! We need a proper mirror!” She stormed back into the bathroom where the sound of the mirror being tossed under the sink could be heard once again before hearing the bathroom door to the hallway open. “PAPYRUS!”

A sigh quietly escaped your lips as you leaned your back against the headboard of the bed. Alphys sat at the foot of the bed, looking through a few of your anatomy books when she turned to check on you.

“Are you doing okay?” The smaller soft-spoken monster asked.

“Yeah...just a bit nervous about tomorrow.” In the other room Undyne and Papyrus were laughing and talking, but you couldn't make out what they were saying. “I just...public events are not really my thing.”

“You did well with us at Grillby's.” Alphys paused and clasped her hands over her mouth embarrassingly, “I mean...you were social meeting us and um...”

“Not my finest moment...I admit it. I drank too much and some how I ended up falling and-” You began before being interrupted.

“Yo! Let's see what bonehead did to ya.” Undyne once again stood in the bathroom door, carrying a rather tall mirror awkwardly under her arm.

“What who did what?” The sudden question threw you off guard. “Huh?!”

Undyne placed the mirror against the wall before diving onto the bed next to her girlfriend. “Yeah, you know, bonehead, Sans?” She rolled her hand in the area like the answer should have been obvious.

“He...didn't do anything to me?” You were at a loss at to what she could have been talking about.

“Gah! Your arm! What made you have to stay in the hospital? Hello?” Undyne sat up, looking rather annoyed with your lack of ability to understand her.

“Oh! He...he really didn't do anything and um...it was an accident! I swear!” You threw up your hand defensively in front of you. “It's not...it's not something I'm very comfortable showing...”

“Another scar? Come on now! Be proud of them! What are you worried about?” Undyne rolled onto her stomach. “They're just marks. Don't let them speak for you.”

“It's not just marks though...” Your voice trailed off as you lightly pulled at the bottom of your sweatshirt. “It's not... _normal_...” That word again. It left a bitter taste in your mouth as you lightly clenched your teeth

“Oh come on! What are you going on about now?” Undyne rolled onto her back once again before sitting up. “You're not making a lot of sense.”

“What's not making sense?” The tone of your voice was a low growl.

“Hey, chill out. What's got you all riled up?” Undyne growled back, narrowing her eyes at you.

“Sweety...” Alphys tried to calm her lover, wrapping her tiny arms around Undyne's middle, trying to grab her attention.

“No, this nerd wants to sit there and get upset with what ever she sees as her view of what _normal_ is then so be it. News flash, you aren't _normal_ , I'm not _normal_. There is no _**normal**_!” Undyne wrapped her arm around Alphys' shoulder and lightly kissed the top of her head before turning her eyes to watch you.

Loosening your jaw you bit on your lower lip, chewing on the soft skin in frustration. She wasn't wrong. What was normal? Instead of responding you brought your sleeve up to your mouth and bit down on the end, gripping it tightly between your teeth as you pulled your arm out enough.

“Here, let me help you.” Alphys offered and lightly grabbed your left sleeve.

You didn't respond right away due to having the sleeve held tightly between your teeth. You dropped it and sighed. You didn't want to argue. You still didn't need help, but you knew the two of them didn't deserve your frustration.

“I'm sorry...I just...don't understand you guys sometimes.” The words come out slightly airy, and Alphys laughed lightly.

“Oh, there is no need to apologize, everyone is a little...oh...oh my!” Alphys recoiled her claws from your sweater as she caught sight of your shoulder.

“Whoa! He did a number on ya!” Undyne crawled closer to you on the bed, hovering her hands over your back and shoulder, “Okay if I take a closer look?”

You looked away, a mix of strange emotions welling up in your chest. “Sans...he didn't do this. Here...” You slid yourself off of the bed, adjusting your blue tank top before taking a few steps to a large box on the ground. “Here...this may look familiar.”

The two sat on the side of the bed, watching your backside as you knelt down on floor, shifting through the box in front of you. Their eyes focused on the small manikin like arm that you slowly pulled from it, holding it by the wrist before rest it on the bed next to them. The shoulder rolled over slightly and you lightly ran your thumb over the rough, chipped area.

“A strap came loose and made a cut down the scar on my back...it wasn't all that serious, but it can be if I'm not careful.” Your voice barely spoke above a whisper, but you believed they still heard you. They didn't respond right away, but Alphys turned to take a look at the arm.

“Human technology...it's amazing.” Alphys looked up at you and you slowly nodded, allowing her pick up and examine the prosthetic.

“Hold on? You're saying you have been wearing this the entire time? Totally had us fooled.” Undyne placed her hand on Alphys' shoulders as she looked at the harness.

“Kinda...I mean...this is the one I've had since when I met you all, but this isn't the only one I've had.” You said quietly, taking a seat at next to the small yellow monster. “I've had a few growing up.” You took another deep breath, “It's been well over ten years since my _accident_...so I've gotten pretty used to it.”

“That long huh? What type of accident gave you scars like that? Wow...they go even further don't they?” Undyne had crawled passed her girlfriend to sit behind you on the bed, one of her hands gently rested on your left shoulder while the other gently pressed against your right side.

“It...it was a f-” You paused biting your tongue.

You can do this...we're not going to stay hung up on it. Remember...effort never dies...

“I was in a house f-fire...” It was still hard to say, but at least you did it. “I lost my arm...and vision in my right eye.” You looked down towards your lap, playing with the string along the waist of your comfy PJ pants. You hadn't changed the tank top and a small darker stain reminded you of the nose bleed this morning. “Do you...do you mind if I change my shirt? You'll be able to see how bad it was.”

You slowly stood up, Undyne's hand retracting to lean back on the bed. Neither of the two objected as you walked over to your dresser to find another tank top in the drawers. You settled on a red one and threw it on top before you grabbed the bottom of your shirt and slowly pulled it above your head. You took another deep breath as you tossed it into the bin of clothes you would need to wash eventually. From behind you the sound of Alphys gasping again and Undyne lowly whistling filled your ears.

“Looks like it was pretty bad,” Undyne said softly.

“I-I am terribly sorry this happened, but why hide it?” Alphys asked.  She must have crawled to sit closer to Undyne as her voice sounded much closer than before.

“I just...these don't bring back happy memories. I could have died...but I didn't. People look at them weird...a lot of people are scared to approach me. That's WHY I hide them.” An answer to why, that was the first of many. “I just...want people to see me, not these...these scars. How many humans have you seen that are missing pieces of themselves? Not many right?” You quickly pulled the red tank top over your head and turned around to face them, “I just...this isn't what people want to see. People don't like seeing things that aren't _normal_...”

“That's tough for them then! You could have died, but you didn't. How freakin' cool is that? You stared death in the face and maybe they give you a few scars, but holy hell ____! Screw what other people think!” Undyne shot up from the bed to quickly stand in front of you. Her hands quickly fell to tightly grip your shoulders as she gently shook you. “Be proud of the fact that you're here standing now! Man, I knew you were pretty gutsy when you took up my challenge at Grillby's, but hell, no wonder!”

It must have been a minute of you staring up at the blue scaled, red haired aquatic monster. She wore a toothy grin, and her grip on your shoulders felt reassuring. You didn't have words for how you felt, but you offered her a genuine smile before letting out a soft laugh, “Thank you...really...thank you Undyne...” You lifted your hand to rub your cheek, feeling the dampness. “I'm such a crybaby...” You laughed harder at that fact and how ridiculous you had been.

“You're such a dweeb! C'mere!” Undyne pulled you into a tight hug, lifting your feet off the ground as she swung you around and nearly tossed you onto the bed. You let out another laugh and rolled into your back, staring up at the ceiling.

The weight on the bed shifted lightly and you felt a small clawed hand gently tap your left shoulder. You leaned your head up to smile at the Alphys. She returned your smile before adverting her eyes and gently adjust her glasses on her face. “Y-you mentioned that you lost your vision in your right eye, but I am assuming that you have something similar like your arm?”

You gave the smaller monster a nod, “Yeah, another prosthetic, a glass eye in other words.”

“A glass what? How does that even work?” Undyne took a seat close to you and leaned over your face. “Can't see out of it can you?”

“No, no. Nothing like that. It's pretty gross...but I'll take it out one second.” You sit up and turn to face the two, who were now watching you intently. This would be the first time you had removed your eye in front of anyone else besides your doctor, and it was a strange feeling. “Okay...”

Slowly you raised your left hand to cover your right eye, not trying to block their view as you notice them slightly tilt their heads. You mouthed the words sorry but continued as your middle finger pushed the skin away from the corner of your eye. Your index finger lightly brushed against your eyelid as you pressed it upwards as your thumb lightly found the edge at the bottom. In a quick fluid motion the glass eye slid from it's place and lightly dropped onto your pant leg. Your hand dropped to quickly pick it up, afraid to lose it.

“Whoa! Gnarly!” Undyne grinned as Alphys followed the small piece drop from your socket.

“I've read about these in my books, but I have never seen one. May I take a closer look?” Her small hand gestured to the eye in your hand and you hold it out to gently place in her hand. “It's so light.” She examined it closely, lightly tapping on it. She took great care in not scratching it though.

“Should totally get you an eye patch to match mine.” Undyne grinned from fin to fin at you.

A soft laugh escapes your lips as you shake your head, “I don't think I can pull it off.”

“Nonsense! Eye patches are badass! Here, let's see.” Undyne reached behind her head and pulled the strap of her eye patch over her pony tail before standing from the bed. With her other hand she grabbed your wrist and pulled you towards the mirror she borrowed from Papyrus. “Stand here,” she paused as she pulled the eye patch around you. You adjusted it as she held it. “What I tell ya? Looks badass!”

Your stomach threaten to flip itself as you looked into the mirror. How long had it been since you've seen yourself like this. A quick shake from Undyne made you slightly dizzy, but brought you out of your thoughts, “Oh yeah, looks pretty cool, but I don't think it suits me well.” She offered you another smile as you watched the reflection of her in the mirror. She was extremely confident, cool, everything you wanted to be. “I would love to be as strong as you one day...”

“What are you going on about now?” Undyne gently removed her eye patch from around you and placed it back around her head, adjusting it in the mirror. “You're plenty strong now nerd. You just need to be a bit more confident. You'll build that up over time, tomorrow we're going to give you a boost!”

Tomorrow...the party, the dress. Your stomach did another roll and you lightly pat it. You were going to try wearing a dress for the first time since you were a little girl. Something you never thought you could ever find yourself wearing again. What made matters worse was that you were specifically going to wear it to try and impress Sans. Way too much had happened today. Behind you felt Alphys' small hand lightly tug on your tank top and you turned to face her.

“I wanted to make sure that I gave this back to you. It was very well made.” She smiled up at you as she placed your glass eye in the palm of your hand. Alphys softly yawned and removed her glasses before lightly rubbing her eyes.

“Thank you, it's getting kinda late, so I'm going to head out to the other room.” You walked over towards the bathroom door and turned at the sound of Alphys' voice.

“Are you sure you do not want us to sleep in the other room? We don't wish to intrude.” Alphys adjusted her glasses on her face once again.

“Yeah, I'm sure. There's two of you, my bed may be a bit small, but it should be a lot more comfortable then the couch. I've slept out there before and it's no problem. You're guests after all.” You lightly wave your hand as a goodnight, “If you need anything don't be afraid to ask. If you need something from the kitchen don't worry about making noise.”

“Be prepared! We're getting up early to get started. We need to find you a dress and need to get your hair and make up all set.” Undyne laughed lightly as she swiftly scooped up her girlfriend, kissing her cheek and grinning at the fact that she knows how to make her blush. “Night!”

“Night guys.” You close the bathroom door behind you quietly.

After cleaning your prosthetic and inserting it back in place you left through the hallway door and walked out to take a seat on the couch. Sans was still awake and there was a science fiction movie on about dinosaurs and a theme park. He turned his head and grabbed the remote.

“Anything you want to watch?” He offered you the remote and you shook your head.

“This is fine, was going to fall asleep soon anyway.” You smile and leaned back against the couch.

“Busy day tomorrow?” Sans placed the remote back down onto the couch before making himself comfortable again. He took up the remaining two cushions on the couch, and his slippers were inching closer to you until he was almost stretching.

You pulled your knees close and pressed the bottom of your feet to his slippers giggling softly, “What are you up to?”

Sans shrugged and let out a forceful yawn as he pressed against your feet. “Putting a smile back on your face. You've been crying again.”

His words surprised you as you quickly touched cheek under your left eye. It still felt puffy and you couldn't help but chuckle softly. “Oh..don't worry. They didn't really upset me. It's just...nice knowing I can just be me...that I don't feel the need to hide around you guys anymore.”

Sans smiled as he lifted his left hand, his magic humming softly as it slowly wrapped around his hand. A few moments later his blue blanket and pillow came to rest between the two of you on the couch. “Not sure where you keep your spare blankets, but you can use mine.”

“Thanks Sans...but are you sure you don't need them?” You pull the blanket over your legs and lean back against the couch to watch the show on the TV.

“I'm good, too lazy to get up.” His feet once again pressed against yours and in return you pressed back. “You going to continue to play footsies or get some sleep before tomorrow?” He chuckled to himself as raised his brow at you, grinning smugly. You couldn't help but blush, remembering everything that had happened today again as well as what will come tomorrow.

“GO AWAY SANS!” You pull the blanket to your face and giggle once again.

“That's what you say, but I find that hard to believe.” Sans laughed as he grabbed the pillow and placed it behind his head.

“SANS! Why is it so loud at there? Are you bothering ____?” Papyrus opened his door to yell into the hall.

“No Papyrus, everything is fine!” You yelled after him, his door, however, it didn't close.

“I don't believe I am familiar with that phrase Frisk, what does it mean to 'get a room'?” Papyrus was responding to Frisk.

“OMG PAP!” You whined loudly. You slowly peek your face to look at Sans, seeing a faint hint of blue on his cheekbones. “How old is Frisk again? Are they even old enough to know what they're implying?” You cupped your hand over your face, your face a lovely shade of crimson.

“Kids these days...know too much...” Sans tried to laugh it off, but the two of you were both thinking along the same lines.

“I...I'm gonna try to sleep!” You said quickly as you pulled the blanket over your face and leaned against the couch. You gently pushed your feet against his and you smiled as he let out a soft chuckle.

“Night ____.” Sans said softly.

**~ * ~**

The two girls woke you up early, Sans at one point had left the couch, probably finally went back to his own room. With help from Undyne you were able to change quickly and you quickly took your medicine before being rushed off for the day or shopping.

You don't remember how many store you had been too, but your hope in finding a dress that worked for you was faltering. It was already going on three in the afternoon and this was the last store you would have time to visit.

“This place better have something. We're running out of time.” Undyne sighed as she rested her right hand on her hip and leaned to the side, her gaze scanning the store's layout for anything.

“I'm sorry...I just...it seems that the style this year has wide necks...they just don't work...they just fall off my shoulder...” You sighed, your mood was somber, and at any point, you just wanted something that worked.

“Hello, welcome to our store, is there anything I can assist you...” She paused as she looked over the two monsters, completely ignoring you at first. “Oh...I..” She cleared her throat before speaking once again. “Is there anything I can assist you with?”

Undyne glared down at the petite woman, “Yeah, we're looking for a dress for our friend. We've been all over town and we're pretty exhausted.” Undyne motioned to you, and the assistant finally noticed you. Her expression changed to something of relief before she noticed how your sleeve on your sweater hung awkwardly at your side.

“I see...what type of dress are you looking for?” She asked, offering a smile.

“I...I just want a simple dress that has a bit of a sleeve, but nothing too long.” The woman nodded and turned to look back over the store's layout.

“Can you tell me your size? If you wait by the dressing room and mirrors I will take a look around to see if we have anything that would fit your needs.” She offered and waited for your response. Once she heard your size she turned away from the group and went out on her search of the store.

“This sounds a bit more promising at least.” Undyne sighed as she took a seat on a bench near the mirrors.

“Hopefully, we will find something that will work here. We're all pretty tired and hungry.” Alphys sighed as she took a seat next to Undyne and gently patted her knee.

“Sure babe, hopefully, this won't be too long.” Undyne lightly kissed the top of Alphys' head and smiled sweetly down at her.

“I'm really sorry guys...” You apologized as you grasped the fabric at the collar of your sweater.

“Don't sweat it, if we can't find something here we'll find something at our place. Don't worry about it.” Undyne shook her head and sighed. She was more frustrated with the stores then she could ever be with you. You still sigh as you take a look at one of the racks near the dressing rooms.

There were so many beautiful dresses. A few of them you could see Undyne in, but most of them required a certain body type to pull off the look. The door for the entrance chimed and a group of young woman walked in. They may have been in their later years in high school or even starting years at university. They completely ignored your group as they pulled a few of the sleek, no back dresses and showed them off to each other. Your attention was snapped away when the store's assistant came back holding three dresses.

“Let's try these.” She wore a gentle smile as she hung up two outside of one of the rooms and placed one inside. “When ever you are ready, I will around the store, if you need anything please let me know.” You give her a nod and slowly turn away from the rack and approach the door.

“Undyne?” You asked sheepishly. “May I ask you to help me with my sweater? My shoulder aches and-” You slowly stepped into the room and turned to watch Undyne.

“Yeah, no problem.” She lightly squeezed Alphys' side before she stood up and grabbed the bottom of your sweater and helped pull it over your head. “Need anything else?”

“No no, this is fine. I won't take long, I promise.” You offered her a smile as she closed the door behind her.

You turned to view the dress hanging on the hook and kicked off your shoes. One of these three had to work, they needed to. You only bothered to pull on your sports bra this morning, You didn't want to have to bother with a light t-shirt since you figured you would be changing a lot. You sighed softly as you rolled your left shoulder. The couch wasn't too bad, but it certainly didn't help today when you woke up with a stiff back. You were able to hide it pretty well earlier today, but as the afternoon went on you were just too tired to deal with it anymore. You tugged at the waist of your pants and kicked them into the corner near your shoes and reached up to flip the dress.

The dress had a zipper...lovely. You sighed as you carefully pulled it down. The neck opened at the top, causing the hanger to slip off requiring you to catch it. You sighed again as you took a seat on the bench in the room and flipped it over to slip into the dress from the bottom. You stood up and straightened it out the best you could, but you already knew this dress wouldn't work. The lace around the collar was incredibly uncomfortable. It was scratchy, and if you were going to be wearing it for a few hours, you didn't want to be any more uncomfortable then you already would be. You pulled it over your head as quickly as you could and shuffled it over your arm.

“Undyne, could you take this dress and hand me the second one? The first one isn't going to work at all.” You called out to the door. It took a few moments but you heard Undyne knock softly and you leaned forward to unlatch the door. She parted the door enough to reach in to grab the hanger and dress before passing you the second dress. The two of you had done this for almost all the stores you had visited today. Your modesty left you long before now and the two of you didn't even bat an eye. You looked at the second dress and frowned. This one had sleeves that were elbow length, it would look strange. “Could you pass the third one in?”

“That one isn't going to work either? Come on, let us at least see you try something on.” Undyne sighed.

“I'll try on the third one...I'm sorry.” You apologized again as she knocked and you repeated the process and passed her back the second dress before she passed you the third dress.

It was a white cotton dress with a deep violet hem. It reminded you of a sundress, it would probably be cold but at least the fabric was soft. You sighed as you noticed right away that this dress was sleeveless, but you promised to at least try it on. You flipped it over, expecting a zipper, buttons, or something, but to your relief there was nothing there. This was just a simple white dress that you could pull over your head. It didn't take long for you to pull it on. It really was soft, and the material was light. You could move freely and it had been the most comfortable you've been all day. You straightened it out the best you could before taking a deep breath and taking a step out of the dressing room. Alphys and Undyne looked up and smiled.

“Looks great, how do you feel about it?” Alphys was the first to stand, a genuine smile on her face as she awaited your answer.

“It's comfortable. It may be a little cold, but I can live with that I think.” You laughed lightly as Undyne quickly stood up and hurried you to stand in front of the mirror.

“Come on, take a look, you look beautiful!” Her grin made you smile as she pushed you to stand in front of the mirror. You turned slowly and viewed the angles on it, everything looked wonderful. The only thing that bugged you was-

“ _Oh my god...she's kidding right?”_

“ _You couldn't catch me dead in something like that. I could never show my face in public looking like that!”_

Their voices were hushed, and a shrill giggle could be heard from behind you. A few racks away were the group of girls who walked in earlier. Three of them were whispering and pointing towards your small group while the forth quietly watched.

“ _What was she thinking? She needs to find a dress that covers up those scars.”_

_I know..._

“ _Who is shy trying to impress? She's hanging around monsters, probably one of them.”_

_I just...I just wanted to look nice..._

Your hand slowly crept up to your right shoulder. Trying to hide it from view, but you could still see it in your reflection.

“What's wrong ____?” Undyne asked, seeing your expression from a smile rapidly change as you begun to shake. You couldn't open your mouth in response. It took everything you had to not run away. To hide from view.

You knew this was a bad idea. You knew that wearing a dress was a bad idea. You just...wanted to so badly feel pretty for a change. You knew it was impossible.

“ _Gawd! I couldn't bring myself to be brave like her. I don't know how she even gets out of bed in the morning. How could you live like that?”_

_I'm...I'm not brave...I just...I just wanted to..._

You bit your lower lip and closed your eyes.

“ _Oh? Look, you think she heard us?”_

Undyne quickly turned as she finally heard the giggles and the horrible comments the group was making. Her lips curled into a sneer as she swiftly approached the group. Alphys quickly jumped to her girlfriend's side, holding desperately to her leg.

“Hey! Shut your traps unless you want them to shut for you!” Undyne growled as she was forced to stop.

“Sweetie don't! Just ignore them!” Alphys pleaded.

Undyne held up her hand, an light blue swirl of magic starting to take a solid form in her hand. The group of girls blanched and stepped back a few steps away from her. The girl that was quiet took a few steps away from her three friends who were making the comments.

“They're not worth it. Just leave them be. We need to go back over to ____.” Alphys begged as Undyne looked down at her worried lover.

She sighed and the magic disappeared. “Someone needs to teach these assholes-”

“N-no...th-they're right...This...this was a te-terrible idea.” Your voice shakily cracked as you let go of your shoulder and covered your face. “I look...I look ridiculous...” You tried to walk away but stopped when the fourth girl finally spoke up.

“Wait! Please...” She said softly and took a step forward.

“What do you want.” Undyne glared down at the smaller woman. She stopped but refused to take a step back.

“I'm sorry my friends were rude...but I have an idea...if you would like to hear it?” She looked passed Undyne to give you a sympathetic smile. You could see her in the reflection of the mirror and slowly turned and moved the hand away from your face. You couldn't respond but you watched her.

“Excuse me...” She said softly. She removed the scarf from around her neck and held it out. “I want to show you something. May I?” She asked, her voice was quiet as she approached.

You looked at the scarf and then back up to her, not really understanding what she was trying to show you. “A...scarf?” You asked.

“Yeah...it's my infinity scarf. If you allow me to, I can show you something. Despite not knowing her intentions, you nodded.

Her smile brightened as she wrapped it around your neck. It was soft and the fabric was very elastic. It hugged you and she slowly draped it over your right shoulder and pulled it to hang close to your left elbow. You didn't understand at first, but she grabbed the edge close to your elbow and flipped it upward to wrap around the top of your left shoulder. The middle twisted lightly, and she quickly adjusted the edges and smiled. She took a step back and pointed towards the mirror. “How does this look?”

You slowly turned, and stared at your reflection for a few moments. The scarf covered your shoulders, and due to the fabric hugging your gently, it didn't droop or fall. It held to the curve of your shoulders nicely and moving your left arm, it didn't ride up, just naturally stayed in place. The color was off, but if you could find a violet one to match the color on the dress it would be perfect. “Th-thank you.” You smiled and gently touched your right shoulder.

The girl reached out and adjusted it once more before she spoke, “There's a store a few blocks down the street that sells all different types of shoulder wraps and scarfs. They may be closing soon, but they may have one to match this dress if you like it.”

You offered her a smile as you gently pulled the scarf off of your shoulders and over your neck. “Thank you...” You said again, not able to form any other words for now.

“Could you tell me the name of the store?” Alphys asked as she slowly approached the girl, no longer fearing Undyne was going to go after the other group of girls.

**~ * ~**

Nervously you sat in Undyne's car as you waited for Sans' and Papyrus' car to arrive at the venue. It was already 11pm, and you could see monsters and people coming and going with out much of a care. The parking lot was packed and you held onto your phone tightly. You were tired, and slightly annoyed with Undyne who had implied this event required formal attire. Alphys wore a simple black dress with white polka dots, but Undyne wore a pair of black skinny jeans, white t-shirt with a black studded vest over it. She looked nice, but it wasn't the typical attire for anything formal. Undyne's phone broke the silence in the car as she quickly answered it.

“Papyrus? Man you guys took forever! Where are you at?” Undyne paused as she waited for his response. “You're what? Where? You know we've been waiting for you guys...ARG!!! We'll see you inside.” Undyne quickly snapped her phone shut as she turned back to face you. “Looks like Sans forgot his phone, but the two of them are already inside.”

You sighed as you slowly left the car. Undyne wouldn't allow you to wear your hat and you could feel the cold on your ears and face. The two had done your hair for you. Undyne had given you a white headband for a bit of color, not so much to hold your bangs back. She used a comb and some styling gel to pull them up and out of your face. Alphys had pulled your hair into a low ponytail and then braided the rest. You've never worn your hair up, all of this was a new experience for you. You stood next to the car, your knuckles white from squeezing your phone.

“Hey, relax! He's gonna love it!” Undyne lightly swatted the space in the middle of your back, knocking you forward. She steadied you and laughed lightly, “Come on, you look great. No way he isn't gonna notice.”

“I'm almost afraid he will...” You took a deep breath by smiled. “I...I guess it's now or never?”

Alphys took a hold of your hand and patted it gently. “We're here, so don't worry.”

You couldn't help but laugh lightly, “Yeah, thanks guys...thanks for everything...thanks for the scarf...the dress...my hair-”

“Hey now, thank us later, let's party!” Undyne cheered as she wrapped her arm around your shoulder and forced you to walk forward at her pace.

**~ * ~**

The music was loud, and the club was dark. The fast beasts and the flickering lights made you slightly dizzy, but you thought you would be okay. Papyrus was jumping and waving from the middle of the room, it wasn't hard to miss him. The three of you approached and he greeted you enthusiastically.

“Wowwie!” Papyrus smiled as he caught sight of you. “Human! You look great! I'm sorry to say not as great as I, but great none the less!” You giggled softly as he reached for your hand. “Come on! There are many friends to be made on the dance floor!” He tried to pull you along but you pulled back.

“W-wait! Um...where...where is Sa-AH!” You jumped in surprised as a small arm snaked around your waist and you were pulled to your right. Your phone slipped from your fingers and a ivory white hand quickly caught it. You turned your head to your right as you caught Sans slowly walking around towards your front so you could see him.

“Looking for me?” He wore a smug grin and placed your phone in the pockets of his blue hoodie. “You didn't need to look far.”

You blushed but quickly collected yourself. “Don't scare me like that.” Despite being startled, you still smiled.

Sans lightly laughed and removed his arm from your waist to place his hands in his pockets. “Ever dance at a club before?”

“N-no! I...I've never done it I mean.” You looked away and scanned the crowd. Everyone was moving and chatting. The dance floor was full of people, and it looked extremely crowded. People were laughing and bumping into each other. You weren't sure if that would be your thing.

“Are you going to join us?” Papyrus looked passed you and smiled to Alphys and Undyne. The two were grinning but shook their head.

“Nah, we're going to get a drink first. Want to take a look around and see a few friends.” Undyne smiled as she and Alphys started to take off towards the bar. Undyne gave you a wink and wave as she turned to give Alphys a loving smile.

You chuckled lightly as you felt a small hand grab onto yours and lightly pull you along. You looked up to see Sans smiling at you pulling you to the dance floor, where Papyrus was already bounding off, parting the sea of people like they weren't even there. You gently squeezed his hand and followed.

_He didn't say anything about my dress..._

No one really paid you much attention as the music blared around you. The flashing multicolor lights made it hard to see, but everyone was having a good time. People were jumping, waving their arms, and just moving along with the beat.

Papyrus had made room for the three of you and turned and started to move at his own rythem. You were about to speak up when Sans gently nudged you, “He follows his own beat. Let him have fun.”

You couldn't help to laugh, “It's just like him huh?” Sans simply nodded.

“Yeah, just have fun. I'll go get you something to drink. Anything, in particular, you would like?” Sans let go of your hand and pointed towards the bar. “Before you ask, no tequila.”

You laughed with a small grimace. “No...no alcohol...anything is fine honestly.”

He gave you a nod and turned away, you reached out to have him wait, but he was quick, and the sea of people quickly moved into the free place. You backed up and bumped into Papyrus behind you and apologized.

“Come on! Dance human!” Papyrus took your hand motioned towards the speakers. “Most people will follow along with what is playing, but it takes a much more skilled dancer, as myself, to find the hidden beat.”

You laughed lightly as you listened to the music. “Alright...” The grimace was gone, but you were sad at the fact that Sans ignored your outfit, and really didn't seem interested in dancing, despite pulling you out here with him. He wanted you to have fun, but you wanted to be around him. You sighed softly as the music changed into a new beat. You couldn't help it, but you soon felt your hips sway along with the beat and you shoulders follow along.

“That's it!” Papyrus smiled and gave you thumbs up. This caused you to pause and laugh.

You smiled and could feel someone lightly bump into you from behind, you turned your head to meet a face of a tall, thin monster with a clear globe for a head. He offered a smile and a nod in apology before he quickly turned away and continue along dancing to the beat. There was so many monsters around.

You could pick out one or two humans in the crowd. Undyne mentioned earlier in the car that this even was for mainly monsters, but humans weren't turned away if they truly wanted to be there. No one was paying you any mind, and you sighed softly. You could just have fun for a chance. No one was looking at your scars. They were too busy enjoying themselves and their friends. You turned back to Papyrus and laughed as you spun around and let yourself get carried away by the music.

A few songs passed and everyone once in a while you would stop and take a moment to glance over the crowd. Sans was taking a while, and you were afraid he wasn't going to be able to find you. You waved to Papyrus, you needed to find him.

You slowly pushed through the crowd until you were free of the dance floor. You looked around, not seeing any faces you recognized. You lightly gripped the hem of your shoulder wrap and glanced around once again. You finally caught site of the DJ who's booth was positioned near the bar. A small ghost with a giant smile on his face happily played the music for the club. You chuckle softly as he bobbed from side to side as the speakers blared around him. You looked towards the bar, spotting Alphys, Undyne, and next to them Sans was talking. He must have lost track of time. That made sense. Maybe this time you could sneak up on him.

The music was building and people yelled at each other to speak. You grew closer to the bar but stopped when you could finally hear the two talking. Neither had noticed you approaching.

“So when are you going to ask her out?” Undyne smiled as she leaned her chin on her closed fist, watching Sans who stood not far below her. He didn't reply right away but shrugged.

_I shouldn't be hearing this..._

You turned away quickly, but stopped when he spoke.

“I'm afraid it's not going to work Undyne...there's-”

The rest of his words were cut off by the music reaching its climax and people around you laughing and yelling. You gripped the fabric close to your chest and looked down to the floor.

_We're...not going to work?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anything can happen in a heartbeat...
> 
> I'm completely off sync these last two weeks. I've been in a slump and I haven't been able to focus. I finally banged out the rest of the chapter.
> 
> I'm going to try and figure out a better schedule. I don't want to only update once a week, but it may be like that for another week until I am able to find more time to write as well. Saturday-Tuesday is very hard to find time to write due to DnD on weekends and Raid happening Sun-Tuesday on an MMO I play. Raid is probably going to be stopping here within a month, so we'll see see how open my schedule will be after that.
> 
> This chapter ran on longer then I thought it would. There was a lot crammed, but I knew how I wanted it to end. Sorry...not sorry for leaving off at a cliff hanger. You'll have to wait to see what happens :)
> 
> shameless tumblr plug for Patchwork updates: http://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	15. Countdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for 10k views! I never thought so many people would look at this, let alone return. It means souch to me, thank you!

The TV was the only light that lit the living room. The movie Sans had been watching had long since ended. Sans had sat quietly, watching you fall asleep. He had pulled his feet away. Snores from down the hall could be heard from her room. The sound all too familiar from when Undyne had stayed with you back in Snowdin. A door creaking slowly open from the hall caught his attention as Papyrus quietly peeked into the hall. He quickly turned his head, probably looking back to check on Frisk before entering the hall and pulling his door closed behind him.

“Sa-” Papyrus began but stopped when Sans quickly rose his index finger to cross his mouth. He pointed towards the other end of the couch to where you were sleeping. Papyrus nodded and motioned towards the front door.

Sans glanced back towards you, a gentle smile still curled your lips as you shifted against the couch. He smiled to himself as he carefully untangled himself from the blanket and stood from the couch. Papyrus had already passed the couch and was standing near the front door. His gloved hand rested on the handle as he waited for Sans to walk closer before opening it.

The cold air from the late December air chilled the warm house. The two quickly stepped outside and closed the door behind them. The familiar sound of motors and laughter could be heard in the distance. The road in front of the house reflected the light, ans small round pellets of ice littered the sides of the road and small piles had collected on the hood of Papyrus and Undyne's car. A large truck attempting to scrap the ice slowly drove passed, behind it spilling salt to melt the ice.

Papyrus shifted on his feet and wrung his hands. He looked down at Sans. He wanted to say something, and Sans wasn't blind to this fact.

“What's wrong Pap?” Sans looked up at his brother, offering him a smile. Papyrus smiled lightly before his lower jaw relaxed again. He shifted on his feet once again before falling to his knees and wrapping his arms tightly around his older brother. “Whoa Pap...what's gotten into-”

“I am glad that you are okay, brother, but I...I thought things were getting better. I thought these dreams would stop...” Papyrus tightly held Sans. Sans quickly wrapped his arms around Papyrus neck and gently rubbed the back of his skull.

“Sorry to worry you bro. I guess I've messed up huh?” Papyrus slowly released Sans. He still wore a worried expression though. It made Sans feel guilty to cause his brother to worry so much.

“Please do not run. You can always talk to me Sans. We're brothers. I'll always be here for you. You've told me a little about your nightmares before, but you don't have to worry anymore. We're on the surface now.” Papyrus stood up, but continued to watch Sans. “Has...has the human helped you?”

“Papyrus?” Sans shoved his hands into his pockets as he leaned back against the door.

“I was afraid that you and her would not speak to each other for a while...I am glad I was wrong.” Papyrus finally let a smile return to his face. “I am happy that the two of you are getting along. I glad that she makes you happy.”

“Papyrus...I'm not sure what you're thinking, but I think you are misunderstanding something.” Sans began before Papyrus spoke up.

“Sans, I know you do not share a lot with me, but I know when you are happy, when you're _really_ happy.” His smile widened as he looked up at the city's pale lit sky.

“I am happy.” Sans followed his brother's gaze to look up at the sky. He sighed, still couldn't see the stars.

“Sans...I know you better then anyone...I know when you're happy, and when you're not.” Papyrus paused for a moment before continuing, “There is nothing more I wish for then for your happiness Sans. I am happy that the human has made you happy.”

“Papyrus, the human and I aren't-” Sans tried to correct him, but Papyrus interrupted once again.

“Aren't what? The two of you spend a lot of time together. You've talked about souls, haven't you?” Sans' cheeks flushed lightly as he turned his face away.

“It's not how you are thinking Paps. I showed her, her own soul. I explained what it contained. I didn't want to make it complicated.” Sans rubbed at the temples of his forehead with left thumb and index finger.

“She is fond of you brother...” Papyrus said slowly.

“She is lonely, Pap.” Sans recalled when he had touched your soul. He felt everything all at once. Your fear, your pain, and the over bearing loneliness. There was a pain he didn't understand within it all. It wasn't a physical pain, but your trust for others had been broken. It was a pain that kept people at a distance, that made you hide away. The suffocating and deafening hissing of the darkness that encased all that was you. Sans let out of slow breath, “If it was you, she would be attached to you.”

“I don't think so Sans.” Papyrus slowly turned to gently grab the door handle, “She may have been lonely before, but she has us now.” Papyrus smiled greatly down at Sans, “It wasn't long ago when I made my first friend.” Papyrus disappeared through the door, but before closing it he whispered once more, “I don't think that it's wrong to believe that you have an attachment to her as well.”

Sans watched his brother quietly disappear into the house. He recalled how when Frisk had befriend him how his world had opened up. One by one Frisk had helped Papyrus grow his friend circle, and now his brother had the confidence to make friends with anyone he wanted to. Papyrus' last parting words lingered with him as he turned to look back up at the blank canvas of a sky.

Papyrus wasn't wrong.  You _were_ attached. He had been putting in extra effort when it came to you. He wanted her to be happy. Everything you held in; how long had you suffered? He had taken some time to talk with Alphys about human depression, and things that he could do to help. A subject that came up often was therapy, and you had mentioned a therapist before. Considering your willingness to open up to people still, it was safe to assume that it wasn't working for what ever reason. Sans knew better then anyone, if you don't want to talk about a problem, being forced to doesn't help. Ally, your boss, knew the least about your situation.

Sans didn't willingly talk to anyone about his problems. Who would believe him? It was ridiculous to think about it. No one really remembered Flowey, or at least no one except Papyrus. No one would believe him if he tried to tell them Frisk had been possessed by the royal family's dead human child. Frisk could never explain how they came to possess a power such as “RESET”, “SAVE”, and “LOAD”. On the surface, no other human seemed to posses any magic, or power to the same ability as the small child did. There had to be more humans who possessed such abilities right?

Sans shook his head as he quickly turned to quietly enter the home again. He locked the door behind him and quietly approached the couch. You slept soundly, your face buried into the couch cushion. You mumbled a few words and a smile slowly turned the sides of your lips up. Sans leaned against the back of the couch and smiled. Your smile fit with your personality better then the relaxed frown you had constantly worn before. The hidden sadness slowly fading away with each day.

Sans looked away from you as he focused to the plates sitting on the counter in the kitchen, their surfaces reflecting the pale light from the TV behind him. He shoved his hands into his pockets and tapped lightly against something. His fingers wrapped around it gently and pulled it out to look at it. He forgot he had your pendant still.

“Guess I'll give this to you tomorrow.” He whispered as he turned his head to look back down at you. You moved in your sleep slightly, the covers fell slightly as you shivered lightly. Sans chuckled softly as he turned to reach for the blanket. His fingers latched his onto the blanket and lightly tucked it over your shoulder. You pressed against the back of the couch, smiled again, and settled to sleep once again. Sans smiled again as he stood up and quietly walked off towards his room. Tomorrow wasn't that far away...

**~ * ~**

The morning was extremely loud. Between Undyne yelling for Alphys and you to hurry up, while Papyrus yelled at them to eat breakfast before they leave. The sound of small feet running back and forth down the hall didn't help settle the noise. Sans was determined to stay in bed. He had today and tomorrow before he had to return to work. He rolled over on his bed and pulled his hood up over his head. It would block out the noise a little bit at least. It continued on for an hour before the familiar sound of Undyne's car engine roared out from signaling the departure of the ladies. Maybe now Sans could finally get some sleep.

Sans' phone begged to differ.

He groaned as he rolled out of his bed and quickly collected his phone from the desk across the room. The chime rang out loudly in his room, and the the familiar sound of small feet could be heard running down the hall. Sans quickly grabbed his phone before sitting back on his mattress and opened the phone, not looking to see who was calling him.

“Hello?” He said lazily as Frisk flung his bedroom door open. A very frolicsome smile stretched thinly over their lips.

“Good morning Sans.” A motherly voice calmly said over the phone. There was only one person he knew that it could have been.

“Morning Tori.” He closed his eyes lazily, avoiding Frisk's mischievous gaze. It wasn't long before Frisk took a running jump and landed behind Sans on the bed. They quickly scrambled to their knees and tightly wrapped Sans in a hug, tucking Sans' jacket between his hips and ribs. “Morning kiddo.” Sans laughed as he lightly patted the small child's hand.

“Thank you for taking care of Frisk last night, the sudden storm made it impossible to safely travel the city's roads.” Toriel apologized. She softly chuckled as she heard him address Frisk. “I imagine they weren't too much trouble.”

“Not too much. Undyne and Alphys stopped by and stayed over as well last night. Frisk got to visit with them for a bit.” Sans pulled his jacket loose as Frisk crawled to sit next to him, waving at the phone. “Frisk says good morning.” Sans used his other hand to ruffle their hair. The small child dived from the mattress into a pile of clothes and covered their mouth, stifling and inaudible giggle.

“Oh? I didn't think they were due to come back until after the New Years.” Toriel's voice sounded concerned, but she cleared her throat.

“It's probably work related, the two of them took ____ this morning. They were excited for a New Years party tonight. Looks like Papyrus and myself will be meeting up with them later.” Sans paused as he grinned down at Frisk, “I don't think the party is kid friendly.” Frisk stuck their tongue out at Sans and furrowed their brow. “Sorry kid.” Sans chuckled softly.

“Oh, I was going to ask when it would be a good time for me to pick up Frisk. We have a lot to get ready for. I know Frisk has been avoiding doing their homework since the winter break has started up.” Sans could hear a light annoyance in her voice. He knew she wasn't mad, Frisk after all was a kid just being a kid.

“Any time is fine. I'll put on a pot of tea for you before you get here.” Sans slowly rose from his bed and held out his hand for Frisk. Frisk gently grabbed it and held on tightly as the two walked out of Sans' room and towards the kitchen. Once the two approached the table, Frisk let go of Sans' hand and went to take a seat at the table, grabbing a piece of bacon to munch on.

“I will be over shortly then. Tea sounds lovely. I will see you soon.” Toriel hung up the phone which gave Sans time to grab a tea pot and place it on the stove. He shoved his phone into his pocket and turned to look up at the cabinet above the stove.

Papyrus, who had started washing the mountain of dishes turned to acknowledge his shorter brother, “Sans! Morning brother! Would you like breakfast? I still have some left over on the table.” He paused as he saw Sans' hand light up and open the tallest cabinet door and a fee small bags of tea gingerly floated down along with four tea cups hanging from under the shelf. “Tea?”

“Tori is coming to pick up Frisk. I'm putting on a pot of tea since she'll be here soon.” Sans leaned back against the counter and turned the faucet to fill the pot in the other half of the sink.

“The house is a mess Sans! I haven't had time to clean!” Papyrus furiously began to scrub the dishes, cleaning them as fast as he could before setting them into the drying wrack next to him. “Sans! Your pillow and blanket is in the living room!”

“Tori's not going to mind Pap.” Sans laughed as he positioned the pot back onto the stove and turned on the heat.

“No! I do not want our home a mess...there's so much to do. Sans hurry!” Papyrus frantically cleaned out the sink and quickly grabbed the dirty plates sitting on the stove.

“Alright, alright.” Sans smiled as he left the pot on the stove and turned around to take a seat at the table next to Frisk. His eye and hand still glowed brightly as his blanket and pillow lifted from the couch and slowly drifted down the hall.

“Sans! Don't waste your magic!” Papyrus finished the dishes and began to scrub the counter. He looked over at Frisk, who was smiling up at them.

“I know that look...it's the look of someone who's about to ask something they shouldn't.” Sans leaned his chin on his open palm as he watched Frisk's expression change from a smile to an annoyed glare. “Look, I know what you're going to imply, and it's still not the case.”

Frisk placed their piece of bacon on the table and slowly began to sign.

**Everyone already thinks you're together. Why not?**

“It's not that simple Frisk.” Sans sighed.

Frisk's hand quickened as they frowned, getting frustrated with Sans.

**You're making it too complicated.**

“You'll understand better when you're older.” Sans lifted his head and reached over to rustle their hair once more. Frisk pulled away but slid the plate of food closer to Sans. “Nah, I'll have something else later.”

**~ * ~**

“Sans, have you called ____ to let them know we are outside?” Papyrus looked down at his brother, and sighed when Sans reached into his pockets and didn't produce his phone.

“I guess I left it at home.” Sans smiled as Papyrus reached into his pocket and grabbed his cell. He quickly dialed a number and waited for who ever he dialed to answer.

“Greetings Undyne!” Papyrus, no longer annoyed, brightened when Undyne finally picked up their cell. “We're outside! Sans forgot his phone.” Papyrus paused as he turned away from the door. The music from the door blaring, making it hard to hear. “We're waiting for you! You should head inside!” Papyrus hung up the phone and smiled, “They're coming!” Sans smiled as he turned to follow his eager younger brother into the club.

“I'm going to take a look around,” Sans said quietly as he began to wonder off.

“Sans, our friends will be here any minute.” Papyrus hooked his hands on his hips and leaned forward, towering over Sans. “Get back here!”

Sans smiled and waved, “Don't worry, I won't go far.”

Sans reached into his pocket, he didn't show Papyrus, but he did have his phone on him. After he was a good distance away from Papyrus, and being slightly obstructed from the crowd, he pulled out his phone. Your message still on his screen as he reread it.

**I'm nervous Sans...Alphys wants to braid my hair...while Undyne wants to pull my hair up. I think they're making a compromise. They say I look nice, but I've never worn anything like this before. (1/2)**

**You're still coming right? You'll meet up with us before we go inside? (2/2)**

Sans replied saying he would call her to meet up, but honestly he wanted see you at a distance first. He wanted a little time to prepare himself before approaching you. The last thing Sans wanted was to upset you, or make the wrong comment about how you looked. He needed to make sure you were comfortable.

“Wowwie!”

Papyrus' voice carried over the loud music and crowd. Sans quickly looked up towards the door. He saw Undyne first, and through the crowd he could make out the top of Alphys' head. There were too many people walking between where everyone was standing and where Sans was hiding out. He needed to get closer.

Sans slowly walked around. Papyrus was leaning down, talking to someone. He could no longer make out what he was saying, but he was getting closer. A gap finally opened up in the mass of people and Sans froze. You were wearing a white dress. It followed your curves and hugged your hips just enough to show off your waist line. You still had your shoulder covered with a purple scarf. He didn't think you were comfortable enough just yet to wear anything with little sleeves. Your hair was pulled back into a loose braid that you had pulled over your shoulder. Your bangs had been pulled up with a white headband. This would the first time he has seen so much of your face. Over all you were beautiful.

A small shade of blue covered his cheekbones as Sans took a moment to stare at you. He took a breath and calmed himself. He needed to act normal. Appearances were a touchy subject with you. You were nervous. He could see it ever more clearly written across your face and even further with how tightly you held your phone in your hand. You had to be strung up so high that the slightest touch would probably set you off.

Undyne saw him first. She grinned as Sans slowly walked up behind you, wrapping his arm around the small of your back. You jumped at his touch.

_Called it._

Sans smirked as he caught the phone which had slipped through your fingers. “Looking for me?”

A light blush covered your face as you focused on Sans and smiled. “Don't scare me like that.”

Sans laughed lightly. He reluctantly took his arm away from your back and shoved your phone into his pocket. “Ever dance at a club before?”

Sans never expected you would, but he quietly watched as you scanned the crowd, a hint of fear and curiosity was mixed in your expression. You turned suddenly to watch as Alphys and Undyne waved to the group and took off towards the bar.

Let's get her having fun, and I'll grab her something to drink.

He took a hold of your hand and stepped a few steps in front of you, tugging at your hand lightly. Papyrus already took off towards the dance floor. Anywhere Papyrus was he knew there would be enough room for you to breathe and maybe dance. You held onto Sans' hand tightly. He knew you couldn't see him, but he smiled to himself.

So far so good...

Papyrus had made enough room for the two of you to join him, and he was already off into his own little world dancing to anything but the current beat of the song. The two of you stopped, and it wasn't long before Sans noticed his amused expression. He nudged you lightly and whispered, “He follows his own beat. Let him have fun.”

“It's just like him huh?” You laughed and Sans simply smiled. It was just like his brother.

“Yeah, just have fun. I'll go get you something to drink. Anything in particular you would like?” He let go of your hand and motioned towards the bar. “Before you ask, no tequila.” He wasn't going to have another repeat of the last group event.

“No...no alcohol...anything is fine honestly.” You grimaced and Sans was relieved you were probably thinking the same thing. He nodded and turned to head towards the bar.

The song had changed by the time he reached the bar and he hopped up to lean on the side of the bar. The bartender was a human male, and he looked pretty swamped. He looked over at Sans and offered a smile none the less, “What you having?”

“Two soda's please.” Sans had scooted over to put his feet on the leg of a stool before he reached into his pocket.

“I got it!” Undyne walked up behind Sans and slapped some cash on the counter and pushed it towards the bartender. She already had her drink and she leaned her back against the bar. “What's your deal?” She sounded annoyed as she addressed Sans.

“What are you talking about?” Sans sighed as he pulled the stool over and took a seat as he waited for his drinks.

“We spent all day looking for the perfect outfit and fixing up her hair. You completely blew her off.” Undyne took a drink her glass before breathing out, “Whoo...that's strong.”

“She looks great. All that matters is what she thinks.” Sans didn't want to get into this. His number one priority tonight was to make sure you were having a good time. He turned to look out into the crowd, spotting Papyrus quickly. He had to look a bit harder, but you were right there beside him. You were smiling, and had started dancing.

“She needs to hear it from you Sans. Give her some confidence. She needs it.” Undyne paused as she shook the drink lightly in her hand, causing the ice to chink against the glass. “She lost a lot of her courage today. Took a lot of convincing her to come out here tonight once we got her back to our place.”

Sans turned away from you and looked up at Undyne, trying to read her aggravated expression. “What happened?”

“Some prissy loudmouths made a few comments when she tried on the dress she's wearing now.” Undyne pointed out to the crowd, having spotted you from following Sans' gaze. “It was the first dress that just worked, she was happy, but they took that from her.” Undyne's other fist clenched and he turned to look back out to where you were dancing. The song had changed and you seemed to be laughing at what ever Papyrus was saying.

“She needs this night to be well Undyne.” Sans sighed as he turned when he heard two cups be placed behind him on the counter.

“Here's your order.” The bartender didn't stick around long as he went to help serve the next customer. Sans waved him in thanks and turned back to Undyne.

“Look, anything you tell her she's going to believe.” Undyne took another drink before knocking her elbow into Sans' arm. “The two of you are terrible at hiding it. Everyone knows the two of you have a thing for each other.” Sans took the drinks from the counter and hopped down from the stool. He sighed before glaring up at her again. “Hey now, no need to get your panties in a bunch. Why is it such a touchy subject with you two?”

“I'm not trying to take advantage of her right now.” Sans had to choose his words carefully. He couldn't tell Undyne, she'd just jump to conclusions.

“Oh come on, take advantage how? It's not like the two of you have touched each other's souls.” Undyne laughed but quickly stopped when she saw Sans advert his eyes. “No way...what were you thinking?” Undyne pushed away from the counter and took a few steps away before turning back to face him. “Does she know what that means? What the hell Sans?”

This was the conversation he wanted to avoid at all costs. “I didn't have a choice Undyne.” He growled and looked back towards the dance floor. You were looking around, probably searching to see what was taking so long with the drinks. “It was the fastest way to get her to trust me. She was willing to push herself away when she was in hold up in the hospital. At first I was just angry, angry she was hiding so many secrets from us. I didn't intend on touching her soul when I went to the hospital, but seeing her sitting there having nearly lost all of her hope. I couldn't walk away knowing that she could give up.” Sans held onto the plastic cups tightly, bending one of them as his grip tightened. “She wanted to talk to someone Undyne. She just couldn't speak.” Sans stopped himself before he said more than you may want. “All she knows is that I looked at her memory. She doesn't know what it means for monsters. She barely even understands our magic.”

Undyned sighed and looked away. She watched the DJ, some human that worked at the club who had put on another track. It started off slow but it would build up. “You need to take this seriously Sans. You need to take responsibility. God Sans...for all we know she's only attached to you because your magi-”

“I know that!” Sans cut her off. Sans knew what it meant when matters came to soul handling.

Normally the two sharing souls would have established some kind of relationship before hand, but Sans skipped that step. When one bears their soul, they are bearing everything that they are made of. Hopes, dreams, memories, fears, emotions...again, everything that wasn't physical. This was process was only meant to be shared with who you had determined to be your soul mate. When you touch someone's soul, you are giving them part of your soul, part of your magic. You mark them. It doesn't go away, and an attachment is formed between the two that was stronger then before.

Sans let out a soft sigh as he calmed down. “Look...we don't know if it works the same for humans as it does for us.” Sans paused to take another long breath. “I've made sure she hasn't touched my soul. Right now, she may be marked, and I may be attached to her right now, and what she's feeling right now may just be the result of my selfish way to have her open up to me, to trust me. I'm not going to trap her with me. Especially if the only reason I feel this way is because of what I did.”

Undyne let out another sigh before she took another long drink from her glass. “So you're unsure if how she's feeling right now is because you left your mark on her or if she is being genuine. Look, you're going to torture yourself over it. I understand that you're trying to take responsibility, but you're acting selfish here. First you assumed that she already hasn't had some feelings for you before you did this. You mentioned you touched her soul while she was in the hospital right?” Undyne may have paused, but it was more for taking a breath, not so much waiting for Sans to answer. “Dude, she was totally crushing on you at Grillby's. You were fawning over her under the mistletoe, and the way she talked about how you had 'saved her' made it pretty clear she was at least a little smitten.”

“She was drunk Undyne. She doesn't even remember that night.” Sans sighed once again. The speaker behind Undyne started to amp up, it wouldn't be long before the two would have to move away to be able to continue their conversation.

“It doesn't mean she wasn't being honest. You're over thinking this.” Undyne took one last drink from her glass before setting it on the counter. “You like her, she likes you. Just give it a try. It it doesn't work out then let her go. You said she hasn't touched your soul yet, so that means she's not attached to you. She doesn't have an obligation to you. You just want her to be happy right?”

Sans nodded. That's all he really wanted. He didn't want to see you lose all of your hope again. He loved your smile, and loved your passion for the dream you was working for. The way you lit up when you read to the children at the library, and maybe one day possibly reading your own story to them. He'd do anything to keep you happy.

“Yeah. She deserves to be happy.” Sans said softly.

“So when are you going to ask her out?” Undyne smiled, she leaned against the counter and propped her head up on her closed fist.

Wasn't she listening to him at all? It didn't seem like this conversation was going to go anywhere. Sans began to speak, but the song that had been build for the last minute finally reached its peak, the speakers rumbled loudly behind the bar.

“I'm afraid it's not going to work Undyne...there's too much that's being forced. She needs something real, not something fake.” Sans quickly turned to head back towards the dance floor and froze. There you stood, not too far away. Your head was held low and it wasn't long before you took a few brisk steps towards the door.

_She heard everything..._

Sans quickly turned away and shoved the drink into Undyne's hands. She was confused at first but looked up to where Sans drew his attention and furrowed her brows. She understood what was going on and she looked back at Sans, “Go.”

**~ * ~**

You needed some fresh air. Away from the noises and others. There was a soft pain in your chest, and your stomach felt tight. It didn't take much to squeeze pass the people on the way to the front exit. The air was even cooler then earlier. You didn't bring your coat in and it was probably locked in Undyne's car. The parking garage probably would at least block the wind. You rubbed your eyes and briskly made for the parking garage.

_I'm not going to cry...not this time...it's...it's okay..._

You were prepared for this. You knew that all this time Sans was just being nice to you. He wasn't romantically involved with you. You didn't even know your own feelings...

_That's not true...I know now..._

You had carried yourself to just outside of the opening of the garage. The pain in your chest, the tightness from your stomach. The burning tears that you held back. You knew what you were feeling right now. Another cold wind shot through your light dress. You shivered and closed your eyes, only opening them when a soft warm fabric wrapped around your shoulders. You pulled away and backed a few steps away as your eyes focused on Sans.

“Sans?” Your voice cracked, but still, you held your tears back. You didn't want to let him see you cry, not now, not for this reason.

“Hey...it's kinda cold out here.” Sans began to speak slowly. He adverted his eyes and held up his jacket he held in his hand. “Here...put this on at least.” You didn't want to take his jacket, but you didn't have a good reason to give him to decline. You didn't say a word as you left him approach you and wrap his warm blue hoodie around you. He leaned forward and pulled the hood up, covering your ears and shielding your face from the wind. Sans stood there for a moment, not looking directly at you. “I...saw you near the bar.”

_Of course, he did. Of course, that's why he is here now._

“I wanted to explain...you over heard us...Undyne and I talking right?” Sans began, but you didn't want to hear it.

“Stop...”

It hurt worse knowing that he was trying to justify his reasons to you. He had no obligation to you. Everything since Christmas was just all a big misunderstanding. How you confused his friendship towards you with other feelings. You could deal with his rejection, but you needed him to tell you.

“I get it...” You paused and gripped at the scarf tied around your shoulders. “You don't think we'd work. I just...okay...just listen. Don't say anything.” You wanted to know why. Why wouldn't the two of you work? You needed a firm answer, but you didn't want it until you could say your peace. “Everyone has been saying that there's something between us. Maybe there is...maybe I'm just over thinking things, but I'd be lying if part of me didn't believe them.” You took in a shaky breath and adverted your eyes. Your courage was slowly fading but you forced yourself to continued, “It hurt...it hurts to hear you think we wouldn't work. We haven't even tried...I just...I don't know how to put into words how I feel. I...I'm worried how I'm feeling is wrong...for the wrong reasons.”

“Wrong reasons? What reasons?” Sans interrupted. His hand gripped the empty sleeves on his jacket as the two of you stood outside of the parking garage. The expression he wore was full of worry, and there was a slight pain behind his eyes.

_He's always taking care of me..._

“I'm a _burden_.”

_I pretended I was fine, that I was normal...that I wasn't broken..._

“I'm a _liar_.”

_I don't want to lose you..._

“You're my _friend_.”

_I like him..._

“I'm _lonely_.”

The two of you stood silently for a moment as you leaned your head forward as you covered your left eye with your open palm. You were lonely...you wanted to feel loved. That's why...you needed to feel love, but not like this. You didn't want to make him love you.

“Sans...I've been lonely for so long. I...I'm scared. I'm scared that I don't love you...that I'm just lonely...and this is just the result of being lonely for so long...”

“You're not a burden, and I don't think of you as a liar.” Sans began slowly. You could feel his cold hand press against the scars on your right cheek and you pulled away slightly. He didn't let you get far as he still held onto his hoodie's sleeve with his right hand. “You are my friend, and I know you were lonely...but you haven't been, not for a while. You have Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, Tori, Frisk and myself now. You've met a lot of people in the last few weeks we've known each other. You consider us all friends right?”

The hand covering your eye slowly fell to your chin as you stared down at Sans. His smile was gentle, and his words were soft. He was right. “Yeah...you're...you're all my friends...I like that.”

“So looks like we're both unsure.” Sans lightly laughed and you could feel his thumb press against your cheek.

“Both?” Your hand found his and you pressed your warm skin against his cold bony hand.

“Yeah, seems like we've got swept up in everyone's idea of us. Sans removed his hand from your cheek and curled his fingers under yours, pulling your hand out of his hoodie and closer to him. It was distant, but the music had stopped at the club, and people had begun to chant.

_**10...9...** _

It must be close to midnight...

“I don't want to force you...” You said softly.

_**8..7...** _

“You're not,” Sans said softly as he brought your hand closer to his chin.

“But...you said we wouldn't work...” The burning behind your eye left as you felt the blood rush to your face.

_**6...5...** _

“You didn't hear everything...I wasn't going to force an 'US'.” Sans pressed the back of your hand against his mouth, a small spark of magic warmed the area, giving you goosebumps.

_**4...3...** _

“So what do we do now?” You looked away once again as his eyes rose to meet yours. You couldn't help but let a smile curl over your lips.

_**2...** _

“We'll move at our own pace, not theirs.” Sans gave your hand a gentle squeeze, “You want to go someplace warmer?”

It didn't take you long to answer as you felt another cold gust of wind. The tips of your fingers hurt, and you could feel the burn of the cold on your arms and legs. “Please...”

_**1...** _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love teasing you guys...
> 
> So, a few of you guessed bits of it right in the last chapter. Of course there was a misunderstanding! So we're kinda sorta official...kinda...
> 
> Sans is unclear if his feelings for you are just due to touching your soul, and reader is unsure if she is just in love or just desperately wanting to be loved. Remember, this is the first boy she's gotten close to in...we'll just say a long time... If you're confused at why she was feeling hurt, just think about it for a moment. No one likes to be rejected. She's attracted to Sans, he's been a hero for her, her friend, and he's her support. 
> 
> I'm sorry for the long delay. Right now it looks like I will only have time to update once a week. Looks like Friday mornings, no specific time. This chapter would have been out a day earlier...but my computer restarted yesterday and I lost half of the progress I was stupid enough to not save. 
> 
> For updates for chapters please check out my tumblr.  
> http://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	16. The Right Shade of Blue

Sans' arm wrapped around your waist to pull you close. It didn't take you long to remember Christmas Eve, and somehow traveling what took you and him a few hours by public transit a matter of seconds to return back to Toriel's home. You once again began to mouth the words as you counted towards ten. Your hand gripped the white t-shirt on his shoulders tightly as you braced yourself for the familiar deafening silence.

The sound of static filled your head...

You felt your body shake, something felt wrong. A sharp pain pulsed from your head as the hissing grew louder. The sound skipped, and would start up again. The ground fell from below your feet and the sense of vertigo made you dizzy.  Your hand that once gripped Sans’ shoulder reached up to your head, and as you felt the ground crash below your feet the pressure grew in your lower back as Sans’ arm gripped you tighter.

“Are you okay?”

The voice cut through the static as a heat that vastly contrasted the harsh cold wind ran goosebumps up your legs and down your arm.  The arm that was wrapped around your middle was now steadying you and you felt feel your that you were pressing a lot of your weight onto the small skeleton in front of you.

“Sans?” Your voice was shaky, and your breath was short as your vision slowly came into focus.

_What was that?_

“Hey, you don’t look well.  Here’s, let’s go take a seat.” Sans slowly directed you across the wooden floor.  It was familiar, you knew this place.  You wish your head would calm down enough to let you focus.

Another pulse of pierces your skull, and it almost looked like the room around you got darker.  In the distance, you could hear others.  It was a mix of Happy New Years, complaints about something you couldn’t quite catch, and the sounds of people greeting Sans.

“Heya Sans!”

“Welcome back Sans!”

“Who’s the girl sans?”

You slowly moved your hand away from your face to rest closer towards your temple.  Sans guided you to a stool and you gently took a seat at the bar.  He quickly took a seat next to you and gently pulled the hood away from your hair.  He looked back out to the rest of the bar and offered a smile and wave.

“Hey guys, happy New Years.  I’ll introduce you in a bit.  We just came in from the cold.” Sans turned back to give you attention at that point and help remove the jacket.  “Let’s get you something warm, if you are like me, you must be _chilled to the bone_.”

You softly chuckle but wince slightly at the pain in your head and the ringing in your ears.  You weren’t going to let this headache ruin your night.  You could handle this, it was a new pain, but it wasn’t the worse you’ve ever endured.  After all you just…

_I confessed…he confessed?_

Your cheeks burned, maybe your face was still red from the cold, or at least you hoped so.  You pulled your hand away as you caught the worried look Sans was giving you.  He tried to offer you a smile, but it still didn’t hide his concern.

“I’ll be fine.  Don’t worry.  Probably just the sudden shift from cold to warm?”  You laugh lightly and take a moment to look around.  “Grillby’s?” You hadn’t been here since the night you were admitted to the hospital.  “Sans?”

Sans had relaxed and was looking towards the back room doors, waiting for the bartender probably.  He turned as he slipped his jacket on to fish out two small phones from his pocket.  “Yeah?”

_Wait...he HAD his phone on him the whole time?_

Your eyes darted to his phone and he laughed lightly as he noticed where you were looking.  You didn’t let that distract you from the question you hadn’t asked before now, “What happened that night?”

“That night, what do you…”  Sans paused as the smile slowly faded from his face, “Oh...let me see your hand for a moment.”  He held out his hand.  You hesitated before you pulled your hand away from the side of your head and placed it in his icy hand.  

Your fingers twitched and you chuckled, “You weren’t kidding...you are chilled to the bone.”

Sans laughed and leaned his side against the bar to face you, “Yeah, it's _snow_ joke.”  Great, more cold themed puns.  You squeezed his hand as you lightly laughed, but you hoped he would get onto answering your question.  “Alright...do you trust me?”  You offer him a nod but freeze when the back door of the bar swings open and a tall monster takes a few brisk steps out.  Your hand grips Sans’ tighter as he steadies you on the stool.  “It’s okay.” He smiles but his words fall on deaf ears.

 _Fire...he’s...he’s on_ **_fire_ ** _…_

Another surge of pain pierced your skull and you were almost positive the lights dimmed around you.  Sans looked up at the light before he slowly turned and offered Grillby a wave with his free hand.

“Hey, Grillbz,” Sans smiled as he gave a sideways glance motioning towards you next to him.  Grillby regarded his friend and stopped a few steps away from the bar.  His gaze followed Sans and without missing a beat nodded.  Sans relaxed slightly but winced as he felt the grip on his hand grew tighter.  “Hey...Grillbz...could you make the house special hot chocolate and add it to my tab?  No incidents, I promise.” Grillby nodded before he turned around to head back into his kitchen.  When the door swung closed Sans left out a soft sigh.  He turned his head and gently placed his other hand on top of yours.  He waited a moment and gently shook your hand, “Hey, sorry...I wasn’t thinking when I brought you here.”

_Fire...he was on fire…_

Your mind was racing, the pain dulling, but the ringing in your ears growing ever loud.  You gasped for air as your hand shook and you focused on Sans in front of you.  How long had you held your breath?  Where did the man go?

“Sans?” Your voice was raspy and you only then realized how tightly you were holding in his hand.  You loosened your grip and tried to pull your hand back, but he refused to let it go.  “I...I’m sorry...Sans…”  You stuttered as a thousand questions cropped up into your head.  “Sans...what...I… I need...I can’t…”

_Gotta go...can’t stay here…_

“Whoa whoa.  Hold on.” Sans said as he quickly jumped to the floor as you stood from your seat.  He wasn’t going to let you run.  “Hey, listen.”  He kept his voice down to not draw attention.  “Just, trust me okay?  It’s okay.  Let me explain okay?”

Your mouth felt dry and you wavered back and forth on your feet.  The bar spun and Sans was quick to help steady you.  Your breathing was quick and rapid and you were becoming lightheaded.  This wasn’t a good idea.  It suddenly made sense.  You didn’t need to remember, you could at least piece together that night a bit better.  You looked to Sans, pleading to let you leave but his expression pleaded with you to wait.  To listen.  You wanted to leave, but you owed this much to him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think about this.  I understand, I get it really kid.”  He was searching for the words to settle your nerves, but it wasn’t going to be easy.  Sans knew better than anyone the reason you were like this.  “Hey, Grillbz...Grillby is a good guy.  He’s my friend.  He’s not going to hurt you.  He’s not...what you’re thinking he is.  I mean he is, but…”

“He’s on _fire_ Sans.” You managed quickly between short breaths.  “Sans...fire...I can’t…”

“Hey, you can.  Just trust me.  Grillby is a sensitive guy.  Not a hot head.”  Sans offered a smile.

“Jokes...really?”  You held your breath once again as the door to the back swung open.  The color in your face was gone and your palm was clammy as you caught sight of Grillby once again.  You didn’t look away this time, but your eye followed as he took a few steps towards the bar and stop.  His shoulders sagged slightly as he placed the white mug, and a small pitcher on the counter.  He looked away from you, and you could almost swear you could see a small sad smile appear ways below his glasses.  It was unnerving, but you felt a sharp pang of guilt.  This thing, no, the monster was Sans’ friend.  All of his friends had been nice and welcoming in their own ways.  Actually, all of the monsters you have met up to this point had been kind and welcoming.  You were being ridiculous, and your actions have probably left a poor impression of you.

Sans refused to let go of your hand as he gave you another smile and turned to address Grillby.  Grillby, however, was busy making the drink that Sans had ordered for you.

_Milk?_

You were interested in what he was doing.  You could see the mug from where you were standing, and it was clear that it was about three-quarters full of milk.  Grillby had reached under the counter and pulled out a candy bar and set it down on the counter in front of him before turning around and grabbing a spoon.  He returned to the counter and unwrapped about a fourth of the chocolate bar and gently placed it in the mug.  He reached over to the pitcher and poured what looked like cream into the mug before he placed his hand on one side of the mug and gently stirred the drink with the other.

“Ah!” You gasped and jerked your hand slightly, but Sans squeezed your hand.  You watched as the chocolate melted and the white milk and cream slowly create a chocolate swirl.  

_Of...of course...he’s fire...it...makes sense…_

You felt your hand tremble, but you tried desperately to calm yourself down.  This was Sans’ friend, and you needed to consider that first, but it was hard.  It didn’t take long, but the contents of the mug were steaming and Grillby had wrapped up the remaining chocolate and took the pitcher and disappeared behind the bar once again.  Sans gently tugged your hand and you slowly took a step towards the bar once again.

“Come on, take a sip.  I hear Grillbz here makes the best hot chocolate in the city.  It has his _personal touch_ after all.”  Sans chuckled at himself.

You groaned softly as you take your seat and look down at the drink Sans scooted in front of you.  He leaned against the bar and let go of your hand to move it to rest gently on the small of your back.  The drink below you was intimidating.  You just watched a man...monster...whatever...just physically melt chocolate and pretty much boil milk and cream in front of your eyes with his very own hand.  You jumped when Sans reached over and gripped the mug and laughed.

“Really, nothing to worry about.  See?  My hand is just fine.” Sans removed his hand and showed you.  It wasn’t very reassuring.  You gave him a look and laughed again.  “Promise, it’s just warm.  Take a sip, test it.  If it’s too hot let it sit a bit longer.”

You couldn’t argue anymore, you needed to get passed how irrational you were being.  You took a deep breath, after you had finally calmed your breathing, and picked up the mug.  It was heavy, and as you brought it closer to your lips you could smell the sweetness.  You closed your eye and counted to three before taking a sip.

“Wow!” Your eye snapped open and you looked over to Sans as you took another sip.  “This is really good.”

“Glad you like it, normally he doesn’t use real chocolate like that, but Grillbz will add it for me if I order for Frisk,” Sans smiled as he moved his phone away from the edge of the bar to lean his elbow on the edge.  Your eyes fell to it once again before you glanced up to meet Sans’ eyes.  “Glad you like it.”

You give him a small nod and take another drink.  This was specially made.  By all means, Grillby would have refused to make you anything, you had been rather rude after all.  You needed to apologize.  “Sans…”

You were cut off when someone from behind approached, another friend of Sans.  He was a bunny, about the height Sans as he sat at the bar.  They appeared to have been drinking heavily, and the smell of alcohol was heavy on their breath as they spoke.

“Hey Sansy, you haven’t been by lately.  Your girl here keeping you pretty busy?”  He let out a hearty laughed and threw an arm of Sans’ shoulder.  He leaned his body weight against Sans and leaned forward towards you.  Sans’ arm fell from your back as he tried to push the guy away.  You leaned away as you set the drink back onto the bar.  Their eyes squinted as he looked you up and down.  Instinctively you turned the right side of your face away and dipped your head low.  He let out a loud whistled that startled you and your hand gripped the wrap around your shoulders quickly.  “Boy Sansy, you’ve got yourself a pretty date.”

_Pretty date?_

Sans finally managed to push him away, “Sure do, how about you give us some space pal?”

Your cheeks flushed as Sans responded and the rabbit laughed lightly.

“Right, right!  You should come back more often!  We miss having you around!”  He turned on his heel and headed back from where he came from.

Sans laughed and straightened his jacket as he offered you another smile.  “Sorry about that.  I’ve been a regular since I lived in Snowdin.  I’m a known face here.”  He paused as he noticed the flush on your face.  “You okay?  Not too warm is it?”  He motioned towards the hot chocolate and you quickly shook your head.

“No...no...I just…”  You had so many questions for Sans, but you needed to apologize first, to him, and somehow to Grillby.  “I’m...sorry.” You said quietly.

“Sorry?” Sans asked quietly but paused as he realized what you meant.  “Hey, it’s alright.  I’m sorry I didn’t think before coming here.  It was just the first place I thought of.”

“No...I...Sans, I’ve caused your friend a lot of grief...haven’t I?” You asked quietly.  “I mean...I’ve been told I freaked out and ran off.  I...it was because I saw your friend, right?”

Sans let out a soft sigh and simply nodded, “I talked to Grillby already, don’t worry about it.  He knows it’s not personal.”

“That still doesn’t make it right Sans.” You said a bit louder than you wanted to.  You quickly clasped your hand to your mouth and Sans couldn’t help but laugh.

“Really, don’t sweat it.  Don’t force yourself if you’re not ready.”  Sans offered another smile but turned when your phone began to ring.  He quickly picked it up and offered it to you.  You took it and flipped the phone up and pressed it to your ear.  It didn’t take you long before you quickly pulled it away as a loud voice boomed over the phone.

“SANS?  ARE YOU WITH THE HUMAN?  WHERE DID YOU GO?”  The mix of the club’s music and his voice was unmistakable.  

“Papyrus, I’m with Sans.”  You couldn’t help but chuckle.  The tension you had felt melted away when he began to speak again.

“OH! ____!  I AM HAPPY THAT YOU ARE WITH MY BROTHER!  UNDYNE WAS WORRIED AND SHE WANTED TO TALK TO YOU.”

“You can put her on Papyrus,” You smiled and could hear Undyne in the background asking for the phone.  It didn’t take her long before her voice could be heard through the speaker.

“Hey, you alright?  I don’t need to knock any skulls do I?” Undyne’s voice was low, and there was a softness to it that you hadn’t heard before.

“Undyne?  No..no...I’m okay.” You said softly, turning away from Sans.

“The two of you okay?” Undyne asked gently.  There was a slight hesitation, and possibly maybe she felt guilty over having been pushing for you so hard the last couple of days.

“Yeah, we’re okay.” You couldn’t help but smile.  You’ve not known her long, but it made you happy to know she was concerned for you.  “Thanks, Undyne.  I’ll talk to you later?”

“Yeah, hey!  I need your number.” You could hear Undyne’s spirits lift as she was relieved to hear everything was fine.  You chuckled softly again and turned back towards Sans.

“Papyrus has my number, have him give it to you and just text me with your name so I can add you, I’ll talk later.” You looked back down at your hot chocolate, everything was good now.

“Yeah, enjoy your _date_ nerd!”  Your cheeks flushed but Undyne didn’t give you a chance to respond as she hung up the phone.

“Date?” You said out loud before pressing the back of your hand to your mouth.  Sans lightly laughed, but as you glanced over to him, you could see a hint of blue across his cheekbones.

“I guess this could be considered a date, huh?” Neither of you had considered it as such, but technically it could be a date.

_So...first date...my first date….OUR first date…_

You could feel the tops of your ears heat up.  You wanted to hide them, but with your hair done up, there’d be no way you could.  You needed to start a conversation.  

“So…”  You paused as you searched your thoughts for a subject, you glanced around before noticing his phone again.  You could start with that.  “You forgot your phone?”

Sans lightly cleared his throat, you didn’t question it at this point, and turned away slightly.  You could almost swear the color on his cheeks were turning a deeper shade.  “Looks like I found it.”

Something about the way he said it doesn’t make you believe him, “Found it...huh?”  You moved your hand away from your mouth and placed your phone down in front of you and gently lifted the mug of hot chocolate up to your lips once again, taking a larger drink since it had cooled off a bit more.  You had to hand it to Sans at least, he wasn’t lying when he said it was the best in the city.

Sans sighed before he turned to face you once again, “Alright, not going to sugar coat it.”  He paused as he looked over at his phone in front of him and spun it lightly on the counter top.  “I wanted a chance to see you first before you saw me.”

You were taken aback by what he had said, “Wanted a chance to see me first?  Why?”

He took a moment to answer, but a smile spread across the lower half of his face as he answered, “I didn’t want to say anything dumb?  That sounds about right.”  He turned and you could feel his eyes scan over you.  “You said you were nervous.  I didn’t want to say anything to upset you.”

It made sense, you had made a big deal about your looks before.  Of course Sans would be thinking of that, he was considerate of your feelings after all.  The mug you were holding made a soft thunk against the wooden bar as your hand found it’s way to your bangs.  You still felt self-conscious as he watched you, and out of habit you tried to pull your hair down in front of your face to hide the ever growing blush.

“Hey.” He laughed lightly as he leaned forward and pushed the hair you were pulling at behind your ear.  “You don’t need to hide.”

Mush, that’s what your mind had turned into.  You couldn’t form words.  Nope.  You weren’t expecting that.  Sans laughed lightly but withdrew his hand and looked away, You pressed the back of your hand against your mouth again,

_Okay...think...this...is just the two of us hanging out.  “Date” is just another word for hanging out.  We’ve been alone plenty of times before.  The only thing that’s really been “date” worthy has been the kiss on…_

Your brows furrowed as you pulled the back of your hand slowly away from your mouth and stared at it for a minute.  If your face could be any darker shade of crimson, it would probably be at this moment.

“____?” Sans asked as he took notice of your silence and the redness to your face.

_This...this is an indirect kiss…_

“Y-yeah...to totally fine…” Your voice trailed off as the ringing slowly returned to your ears.  You quickly picked up your mug once again and went to finish the drink.

Sans smiled as he watched you.  The blush that colored your cheeks and the tops of your ears was cute, but he couldn’t help but watch your soul burning brightly at your core.  It was blinding.  He only wished he could see the color it had now, at this very moment.  He leaned his hand on his elbow and smiled softly up at you.  This, this is what he wanted to protect.  He’d do whatever he could to keep the light in your soul from dying out.

You placed the mug back down on the bar just in time for Grillby to come out of the backroom once again.  You jumped at his sudden entrance, but you forced yourself to take a deep breath.  The blush had left your face.

_It’s okay...he’s Sans’ friend...It’s...okay…_

You reminded yourself as you broke eye contact with the flame monster.

I want to move forward…

“Th-thank...you!” Your voice shook, and the pitch was uneven, but you needed to say it.  “I...I’m sorry.  I’m sorry for…” The last of it caught in your throat as you forced yourself to take another deep breath.  

Almost there, just a few more things.

“I’m sorry...for ca-causing you trouble!”  Your voice cracked.  You were trying so hard, but it was still too much too soon.  You choked as your throat ached and felt you couldn’t breathe.  You yelped lightly as you heard a small glass chink against the countertop in front of you.  You glanced up to see the fire elemental slowly back away from in front of you.  You could see some steam rising from his hand and you noticed the glass of what looked like cold water in front of you.

“Hey, you alright Grillbz?” Sans quickly stood and watched his friend’s hand before turning to check on you.  “Hey, don’t choke, take a drink.” Sans picked up the glass and held it up to your lips.  You didn’t argue as you tipped your head back slightly as Sans helped you drink.  You rose your hand shortly after you had enough and Sans slowly backed off, gently rubbing the space between your shoulders on your back.  “Better?”

“Steam?” You said softly as you looked up and stared at Grillby’s hand.  He picked up a cloth from behind the bar and quickly covered his hand.

“Yeah...um…” Sans paused as he looked at his friend and then back to you, “So water and fire don't mix.  Like fire will burn you, water is the equivalent for someone like Grillby.”

“Wait...he...he was burned?” You furrowed your brow and you felt a knot twist in the pit of your stomach.

Sans paused but nodded, “Yeah, basically.”

“I..I’m so sorry.” You felt your throat tighten once again and your hand began to shake again.  “I’m-”

“I am fine.  Do not worry.” The voice was low, and it took you a moment to realize that it was Grillby that had spoken.  He had removed the cloth and you could no longer see steam coming from his hand.

“Really?” You breathed out softly as you looked up.  He gave you a soft nod as he tilted his head slightly before turning it to face Sans.

“Alright,” Sans smiled as he stood up and gently tugged at your waist.  “Come on, let’s head home.”

“Wait? But…” You began as you grabbed his and your phone from the bar.  You quickly turned away from Grillby and stood on shaky legs next to Sans.

“We’ll come back another time.  Don’t worry.” Sans’ hand found yours and gently squeezed it.  “Promise.”

You nod as you let Sans lead you around the corner of the bar and back to where you must have entered.  “See ya later Grillbz,”  Sans called out as he wrapped his arm around your waist and held you tightly.  “Last time tonight, think you can handle it?”

You’re not sure, but at least you have medicine at home if your head begins to hurt like it did earlier.  You took a deep breath and closed your eyes and started to count to ten once again.  A few moments later your breath caught as you felt your feet slip through into nothing.  The static returned almost instantly, but the pain thankfully did not.  The trip didn’t seem to last as long either.  You opened your eyes to the darkness to what you knew as your home.  

“You alright to stand?” Sans asked as he loosened his grip on your waist and waited to make sure you were okay.

“Yeah, I’m okay now.”  You replied as you outstretched your hand and felt the soft cushion on the back of the couch.  You hadn’t realized it until now, but you were getting tired.  It was late, you had an extremely busy day, and overall a lot had happened.

The light overhead flickered on and Sans returned to your side.  “Still good?” You nod lightly,

“Yeah, I’m good.” You leaned against the couch for a moment before you looked towards Sans.  “Is...Grillby going to be okay?  He’s really not hurt?”

Sans smiled and grabbed a hold of your hand and lightly tugged you towards the hall.  “Yeah, probably stung a little, but he’ll be fine.  If makes you feel better, he was happy that you enjoyed the hot chocolate.”

You smiled and nodded, “It was pretty good...I just...I’m sorry…”

“You keep saying that, come on.  You’re apologizing for something you really can’t control.” Sans stopped and raised his other hand to rub the back of his head.  “You went through something no one should.  You’re afraid, you have every reason to be afraid.  I’ll explain it better to Grillby later if you want.”

You sighed, “Sans...it’s not okay...it’s really not.  He’s not...Grillby isn’t...he’s like you and me Sans...and I...didn’t treat him that way…”

“Hey, it will be fine.  Grillby will be fine.  If you want to go back and speak to him, we can go back when you’re ready.  There’s no need to force yourself.” Sans once again gently tugged on your arm as he led you back down the hall.  He stopped between his and your bedroom door.  “Why not get changed and meet me back out in the living room.”

“Alright, I’ll see you in a few minutes.” You smile as Sans lets go of your hand.

**~ * ~**

It wasn’t long before you were sitting on your couch in a pair of long flannel bottom PJ pants and a black t-shirt.  You would have sat in your normal spot on the couch, but Sans had refused to hand it over.  He retrieved his pillow and blanket from his room and had brought it out to the couch.  Sans had put on some sci-fi movie and had made himself comfortable.  You, on the other hand, was messing with the braid in your hair, which you were having trouble combing it out.

“Would you like some help?” Sans offered as he pulled the blanket away and lightly patted the spot next to him.

“I guess…”  You scooted closer and his hand quickly, yet gently, pulled your hair around behind you as you faced yours back to him.  The two of you sat quietly as you felt the braided hair loose at the base of your neck.  When the braid was out he gently ran his fingers up the base of your skull, combing through your hair.  It felt amazing and you couldn’t help but lean back into his touch.  “Feels good…”

Sans chuckled softly, “Does it now?” You hummed softly and closed your eyes as you felt his fingers gently massage your scalp behind your ears, moving towards the crown of your head.

“Going to put me to sleep like this…” Your voice was already thick with the sound of sleep.

“You’ll be asleep soon enough.” Sans chuckled softly as he untangled his hands from your head to wrap his arms around your waist.  He pulled you back into him.

You didn’t fight it, you were exhausted.  “Sans?” You closed your eyes and leaned back against his soft jacket.

“Yeah?” Sans replied as he pulled the blankets over the two of you.  He turned the volume down on the TV and set the remote down beside the couch.

“What...what are we?” You mumbled softly.  Your consciousness ebbing quickly.

“What do you mean, kid?” Sans settled himself against the arm of the couch and stretched his legs out around you.

“We...we’re...only friends?” You voice trailed off and it took Sans a moment to realize what you asked.

“We’ll move at our own pace.” Sans gently squeezed your waist, but you shaking your head and waking yourself up slightly was enough to grab his attention.

“What does that mean?” You didn’t want to play games.  Not with this.

“Oh,” Sans paused as he thought about it, “Somewhere in between I guess?”

“Between friends...and being a couple?”  You settled back down against him and sighed, “Friends plus then?”

“Sounds about right.” Sans chuckled.

“Sounds like something lewd…” You sighed and forced yourself to sit up.

“It’s not like that.” Sans let go of your waist to let you up, but he sat up quickly.  “Where are you going?”

_I need to make him understand…_

“Going to bed.” You said softly as you yawned.

“Can stay here,” Sans said as he reached for your hand once more.

“No...no I can’t.” You whispered.

“Why not?” Sans wrapped his hand around your wrist, squeezing it lightly as you slowly turned to face him.

_It’s now or never...make him understand…_

You didn’t give him time to react, you leaned forward and pressed your lips against his lower jaw.  You could feel him tense against you and you pulled away shortly after.  Your face, the familiar shade of red.  You couldn’t even look him in the eyes.

“Because...because of that…”  You slowly stood up.  Sans could no longer hold his grip as you walked passed him and quickly to your room.  You close the door behind you and walked over towards your bed.  You dove face first into your pillow and let out a happy squeal into it.  You didn’t even care if he could hear you at this point.

_I did it...no misunderstandings!_

Sans, on the other hand, sat quietly on the couch.  His cheeks flushed with a faint blue as he held the spot where your lips had just left.  Your reason was very understandable.  He understood loud and clear.

“Wow…” He whispered to himself.  A smile curled over his lower jaw as he could barely make out a faint sound from your room.  “Wasn’t expecting that.” Sans leaned back against the couch as he stared at the faintly lit ceiling above him.  You weren’t going to give him an option of an "in between".  You wanted one extreme or the other.  “I need to figure this out quick then.”  Not only did he still need to figure out his own feelings, but now he also needed to be upfront about the mark.  Tonight, however, was not the night to go over this.  Besides a few rough patches this evening, you had been the happiest you’ve ever been.  He couldn’t ruin that for you.  Sans turned his head to look down the hall and smiled at the closed door.  “Night kid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's a few hours late. I may have fallen asleep once or twice while finishing this up. I am using a different writing software so hopefully I can write a bit easier in a few more places and not just restricted to my PC.
> 
> Also, I'm sorry about last chapter. I wasn't trying to make it a cliffhanger...seriously. Wasn't my intention, but a few comments, and my friend telling me so made me rethink it. I'm hoping I was better with this chapter...Still not trying to cliff hanger. This is going to take time. The relationship isn't going to be figured out in one chapter...there's a lot to go over...and new elements to bring in, but it's started. 
> 
> This is also part 1 for Grillby redemption...we're working on it. We'll head back to Grillby's in the future. Don't worry.
> 
> I'm going to pass out...I've fallen asleep again in the process of finishing up the last paragraph...
> 
> Lastly...I apparently can't write short chapters...still the same page length on average as the rest of them...maybe one day I can find a good stopping point in the middle where it's not during something important...bleh...enjoy...
> 
> Also, I've not said it in a while, but really, thank you all. I appreciate your comments, the kudos, and silent readers. I never expected to reach 10k view, or have as many of you reading as there are...thank you. I can't say it enough.
> 
> shamless tumblr plug for update: http://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	17. Nothing In Between

It was the same forest.

You were happily following Papyrus around, but you kept careful watch on the child.  Why were you so uneasy feeling?  Every slight movement you held your breath.  The two seemed to be having so much fun, so there was no need to interrupt them.  You watched on from a distance, and despite the frustration that Papyrus would show, he still looked like he was having the time of his life.  He turned quickly. a giant smile on his face.

A sharp pain and the static crackled shot through your head.  

As you focused, you looked up at Papyrus, and his smile was gone.  There was a sadness, a fear, as he took off in a sprint down the path behind you.  Turning back to look at the child, the same creepy smile curled over their face.  Why couldn’t you see their eyes?  Why couldn’t you make out anything else?  You couldn’t see, but they watched you as they walked passed to follow after Papyrus.  

Another sharp pain, and a jump in the static shifted the scene around you.  Papyrus was nowhere in sight, but the child was talking and playing with various monsters along the patch.  Everyone was so happy, but why weren’t you?  What was that earlier?  Why was there this feeling of a whole in your chest.  Why did have this nagging feeling.

The static jumped once again and you stood at opposite ends of a long bridge that overlooked the giant dark forest.  There were a few houses scattered below, all unlit, eerie settled amongst the snow below.  Out of the corner of your eye, Papyrus stepped forward and this no longer felt like fun and games.  In front of you was the scary sight of various weapons, fire, and a strangely out of place dog.  What was this?  Why was this set up?  The child, however, seemed unfazed.  They didn’t seem to care.

Papyrus spoke, but his words were lost in the static that filled your head.  Why, why only static?  Why couldn’t you clearly hear what he was saying right next to you.  There was a pause in his speech as he turned around to address you before turning back towards the child.  After a few more muted words, the weapons, fire, and the dog disappeared, clearing the path on the bridge for the child to pass.   Papyrus turned away, a wave a relief, and frustration could be seen on his face as he went on ahead.  

The child didn’t wait long after the path was clear to approach you.  They stared up at you, and you knew you were speaking.  The vibrations in your body, the elevated fear and anger rising in the pit of your stomach.  The child stood quietly, listening before what you could only see as a start to a laugh before the jump of static cut through you once again.  

The child was gone, and you quickly walked along the unmarked path that led through the small snowy town you were in.  You head ached, and the static grew louder with each jump.  One moment the town was brightly lit, people were smiling and chatting in the streets, the next the town was barren.  The lights in the buildings were off, and the door to what you could assume was a store was left open.  The static skipped frequently as you continued down passed what looked like a Christmas tree.  One moment a small armless child happily looked over the gifts, the next there was no sign of the small child, the presents were scattered, neglected as they rested in the snow.  

Not far passed the tree was a small restaurant.  The words scrambled on the sign, but it looked familiar.  It was similar in size and the decor reminded you of the bar Sans had taken you to twice before.  The static skipped again, and the bar, full of life and people merrily sat around, sipping drinks and eating good food.

You felt sick.  You felt hollow, and you could feel your breath catch as you caught Papyrus walking towards the other side of town.  Another skip in the static and Papyrus had stopped.  He was hesitating, why?  He turned as you approached, and you could see the nervous expression he wore.

He was scared.

Scared of what?  What was going on?  You could feel yourself reach out and grab his wrist.  He pulled it away quickly and placed his hands on his hips.  Whenever you were saying, it wasn’t getting through to Papyrus.  


_D̯ò͐᷄̿̽n͋’̹ṭ ̥̰̜g̳ò…̖p̦̆l̛̉e͉ͦā̴͢s᷾eͩ.ͭ.̝.̖̑d̵oͤ̍n̛’̫̦t̾͞ ̻d͌o͎͊ ̡̑̎͟t̊h̬᷀i͉s̈́᷉…̷_

Those words, _your_ words, echoed through the static as Papyrus quickly turned away.  He took a few steps before he paused and turned.  He offered a sad smile before he quickly took off out of town.  You turned around and in the distance, the silhouette of the smiling child approached.  You took a few steps back towards Papyrus before another pain pulsed through your head.

Your vision was blurred and you stood watching the scene in front of you from a distance.  The child and Papyrus were...playing?  Papyrus was focused, but he looked like he was having fun.   No, they weren’t playing.  You could see a bright red heart floating inches from the chest of the child.  They were fighting?

Bones flew, and the child dodged them, giggling while doing so.  Why?  Why were they fighting?  Stop...why couldn’t you stop them?  Why did you refuse to move?  You were being consumed by this overwhelming sense of dread.  You needed this to stop.  Before it was too late.

The child had stopped at some point, and must have said something to Papyrus as his cheeks quickly flushed.  He shook it off, smiling as he raised his hands.  You held your breath as the child stood still.  Bright blue bones, big and small soared through the air, piercing the small child.  You wanted to scream, what was going on?  What was Papyrus doing?  The child...what...why weren’t they trying to dodge?  

_R̦᷊u͞n...͚̦͔᷅́g̬e͒t ̀ö᷊ŭ̵̘t..͆᷀.ͬdon͓̤’̕t̪᷇ ju᷇s͜͝t ᷅s̙͎͖᷁͢tand ṱ̡̺̮᷆̍̓h̵e̩̠ͯ̐ͬ̔᷅͠͞r̨͛e!̠_

You shouted, screamed.  Why did nobody hear you?  You watched as Papyrus lowered his hands, cocking on on his hip and the other fell to his side.  He looked proud, happy.  Your heart froze when the child’s bright red heart suddenly changed to the very same blue that your soul had changed to.  You noticed quickly, and it seemed the child did as well, a small white bone tunneling from under the snow.  The child jumped over it and landed heavily in the snow once again.

The child shook, probably laughing, and you could tell that they were having fun.  Papyrus blushed and laughed, and it warmed your heart to see him enjoying himself this much.  Why were you letting this overwhelming sense of dread bother you?  Everything was okay.  No one was getting hurt.

Papyrus seemed to be preparing something, and then turned to make his grand reveal, only to have a small dog, possibly the one hanging in the monstrosity earlier, chewing on a small bone.  Papyrus shouted at it and it took off running.  He probably would have run after it if it wasn’t for the smile child he had been focusing on up until then.  He shook his head and smiled confidently towards them.  His words lost in the growing static in your head.

The next sight was intimidating.  Papyrus was sweating, throwing everything he had at the child.  Confident that they could handle it.  Papyrus’ outgoing, expressive personality shone brightly as the bones flew in left and right, up and down.  The child would stop with every blue bone, allowing it to pierce them before dodging the next white one.  Maybe they just didn’t hurt?  The dog that took off with a bone earlier, ran through and the child jumped over it.  The next sight was ridiculous, but charming as bones that formed the words “Cool Dude” crawled low to the ground.  The child shook with laughter once more before jumping over those as well.  Just when you couldn’t think it could be any more ridiculous.  You were wrong.  One last bone, somehow riding a skateboard and wearing sunglasses glided passed.  

A small pause was all that was needed for the child to catch their breath before the sudden horror of what seemed like hundreds of small bones rose from beneath the snow.  There was no way the child could jump over this.  What was Papyrus thinking?  You panicked slightly before you noticed a soft blue glow envelope the child’s soul.  They somehow seemed to float weightlessly above the army of bones and over, to your horror, the giant bone that followed.  Papyrus looked stunned, but winded.  He panted as one last small bone slowly inched across the ground.  The child only needed to step over it before it vanished.

Papyrus turned away, a frown covered his face.  He was mumbling something to himself.  You felt your heart ache.  He as just having so much fun a few moments ago.  Why would he be upset now?  The child seemed to speak up as Papyrus quickly turned to face them, his smile returning bright as ever as he opened his arms wide.

**_Well aren’t you fascinating…_ **

The new voice startled you as another sharp pain pierced through your skull.  You tried to focus on the new voice, but you couldn’t help but notice the sudden shift in Papyrus.  He was fidgeting and sweating as the small child approached him.  He still held his arms open, ready to embrace the child.

_N͓͆͡o..͘.̧͆thi̷s᷊̺ is͆n᷿̳͆’t᷄ ̳͖͌͆ͣr̢͔i̷g᷾͆h͆t!_

Your words echoed in your head as you called out again.  A glint from behind the child’s back caught your attention.  It was a small, dull knife.

_P̷̨᷊̞̞͈᷊ͥ͆͌́͘A̺͆Ṗ͙̘̚͟Y͆R̡̲̥US!̛͚_

It was too late.  The child drew the knife from behind their back and slashed out at Papyrus.  The skeleton staggered, and you watched in horror as his body disintegrated before your eyes.  His head fell to the ground and landed in the soft pile of snow, his red scarf, and dust.

Why...why were you just standing there?  Why weren’t you trying to stop this?  What was going on?  Were they having fun?  Why...what’s happening?

As you tried to understand what was going on, you watched as the small child approached Papyrus’ head.  There was still hope, still life in Papyrus.  He watched the child approach, and he spoke.  You couldn’t hear him through the roaring static, but closed your eyes as a small foot pressed against the top of his head, crushing it.

**~ * ~**

The floor was hard as you crashed into it.  You struggled as you twisted and turned on the ground, you retched, leaving a sour taste in your mouth.  Your throat burned and you could feel your nose run as you rolled over to your side and wiped your mouth.

Your stomach rolled again and you rolled back over, the sour taste in your mouth, and the foul stench from your freshly made mess made you queasy as you pulled yourself from the covers and crawled into your bathroom.

Your stomach settled and you pulled yourself up to the sink.  Your eyes were bloodshot, and you could see heavy bags under your eyes.  The water felt like ice as you cupped your hand under the faucet before splashing the water on your face.  Water dripped down your arm and neck as you splashed more onto you.  You needed to wake up.  You needed to calm down.  You turned to face your door as the familiar sounds you had grown accustomed to were not heard.  The home was quiet.

_Papyrus…_

You stumbled towards the door and flung it open into the hall.

“Papyrus?”  You paused as you looked down the hall.  The lights were off, but the living room was still well lit.  It must be mid morning or the early afternoon.  Your heart sank.  “Sans?” You called out once more, only greeted by silence.  You took in quick short breaths as you quickly ran out to the living room.

No one...no one was there.

You turned on your heals, your head dizzy from moving so fast, and from the quick short breaths as you stopped at Papyrus’ room.  You banged on the door, rattling it against the frame.

“Papyrus!  PAPYRUS!” You shouted as you pounded your fist on the door.  

_Why won't he answer?_

Your mind began to race.

_He’s gone...I...I watched him…_

Your breath caught in your chest as the front door to the home suddenly opened.  A wave of relief washed over you as Papyrus walked through the door.  Oblivious to you ever calling his name.  He held a small bag branded with the name of the nearest gas station.  He must had gone out to pick up some food.  He closed the door and turned back and smiled as bright as ever.  He paused and studied you, his smile slowly fading.

“Good morning human, I’m glad you are awake.”  He paused to walk towards the dining room table to set the bag down.  He turned his attention to you once more, a worried expression forming.  “Are...you doing well?”

“Papyrus…” You manage to croak out as you turned to face him.  Your right side leaned against the door as you covered your mouth with your left.  Tears blurred your vision as you lightly shook.  “You’re okay…” You barely managed to say under your breath before you sobbed.

_It was just a horrible dream...thank...thank god…_

Papyrus rushed to your side and placed his hands on your shoulders.  “____?  You don’t look well.  Are you, are you alright?”

You couldn’t speak but you leaned forward and pressed your forehead against his sternum.  “You’re alive…” You sobbed harder as you pressed your face harder against his chest.

_He’s alive...he’s…_

Papyrus watched as you leaned against him.  The hands that rested on your shoulder pushed you away so he could see your face.  “That’s a silly thing to say.  Of course I am alive!” He smiled and laughed lightly, but stopped when you did not return his smile.  He paused as he watched you.  He didn’t understand, but he did notice you were still in your pajamas.  “It’s cold, let us go find you a sweater.”  He pulled you towards your room and opened the door.  He saw your covers on the floor, and your mess near the bed.  He turned back to look at you with a worried frown, “If you are ill you need to rest-”

“I’m not sick.” You had caught your breath and rubbed your eye once again.  “I...I had a nightmare…”

Papyrus listened gently placed his hand on your head.  Your hair was still wavy, the hairspray and gel Undyne had used in your hair still held, causing your hair to stick up every which way.  It was calming as he gently patted your head.  “I will clean this up, why not take a shower.  When you are done we can have…” Papyrus paused as he looked towards your digital clock and saw that it was not long after 11am.  “I will make us lunch.  Is there anything you would like?”

You rubbed your eye once more and nodded, “Spaghetti…”

Papyrus smiled and nodded ecstatically as he directed you towards your bathroom and grabbed the door handle.  “Do take your time human!  I will clean up and then start making you my special recipe!”  He didn’t give you time to reply before he closed the door to rush off to the laundry room where the cleaning supplies was kept.  A shower did sound good...you needed it.

**~ * ~**

The living room felt chilly as you pulled at the deep red turtleneck sweater.  Your hair was still damp, and at some point you would need to pull your brush through it.  That would come later once your headache went away.  You rounded the corner and stood at the dining room table where Papyrus was putting the finishing touches.  He had pulled out two heavy plates and a large bowl was placed between them.  Papyrus had out did himself this time.  The bowl was filled to the brim with spaghetti, along with meatballs and pasta sauce.  It smelled heavenly as your stomach let out a loud growl.

Papyrus looked up and smiled.  “It is already human!  I will get your drink and silverware and we can begin eating!”  He quickly hurried back into the kitchen as you took your seat.

“Where’s Sans?” You asked quietly.

Papyrus returned shortly and placed a glass of water next to your plate and handed you a fork and napkin.  He grabbed the tongs in the bowl and began to scoop out a very healthy serving of his spaghetti.  You watched your plate, and you weren’t sure if you would be able to finish all of this.  You smiled anyway.  Papyrus filled his own plate before sitting down.  He didn’t start eating, but sat quietly thinking.

“I came home late and he was already in bed, and by the time I got up this morning he had already left.” Papyrus shrugged as he picked up his fork to dig into his plate.  He spun his fork in the middle of his plate to pick up a giant forkful of food before shoving it into his open jaw.

“Oh…” You sighed softly but shook your head.

_So he’s avoiding me... It makes sense...I mean after…_

Your face flushed when recalling the night before when you had kissed Sans.  You dropped your fork and covered your face.

I really did that...didn’t I?  What was I thinking?!

You frantically yelled at yourself inside your head.

Papyrus sat across from you, watching you fidget as the tops of your ears turned a light shade of red.  “Are you feeling alright, or is the spaghetti to hot?”

His voice brought you out of your thoughts and you stuttered your words. “N-no! I...I was thinking of something…”

“Your nightmare?” Papyrus rested his hands near his plate as he watched you.

“Huh? No...NO.” You paused.  Your thoughts were far from your dream, but now that was fresh in your mind once again.  “I was thinking about last night.”  You paused and blushed once again.

“Oh!” Papyrus smiled and dug back into his food.  “I was worried when you did not come back.”

You finally lowered your hand and looked guiltily at your plate.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you.  I...we just needed to talk.”

Papyrus nodded as he took another large bite of his spaghetti.  You grabbed your fork and split one of the meatballs in half before taking a bite yourself.  You smiled despite the amount of pepper you could taste.  Your tongue burned, but you were happy.  Papyrus loved to cook, and enjoyed experimenting.  You could indulge him.  You quickly grabbed for your water and took a nice, cold, drink.

“Thank you for making my brother happy.” Papyrus had swallowed and was twirling his fork once again.

You choked on the water you were swallowing and set the glass down quickly with a loud thud.  You rubbed your mouth and looked up at Papyrus before covering your mouth.  “Papyrus?”

He smiled once again, “Yes!  You make him very happy!”  Papyrus paused in his speech once again as he stopped twirling his fork.  He broke eye contact and looked down towards his plate.  “Sans works very hard when it comes to you.”

“He does.”  You couldn’t help but smile.  Sans was very attentive.  Your feelings was always the first thing he considered when if came to anything the two of you would do.  Even last night at Grillby’s.  You weren’t expecting to meet a monster that was...well on fire.  Without Sans, and a sober mind, you probably would have freaked out again.  He held your hand, and told you everything would be okay.  He was right, and Grillby was incredibly sweet.  He didn’t speak a word, but Sans had said they were a friend, and him must had said a few things about you to Grillby.

Papyrus nodded once again as he took another bite.  

“I wish...I wish Sans wouldn’t treat me like glass…” You paused.  Was that request unreasonable?  Maybe it was.  How many times had he seen you at your lowest points?  You were ready not even a few weeks ago to throw away the first friends you had made in years.  You didn’t want to be that person anymore.  

_Maybe that’s why he is hesitant…_

“I’m...I’m not sure I can make him happy Papyrus…” You took a moment and took another bite of the dish Papyrus had made at your request.  “I want to.  I mean...last night…” You paused.  You were nervous, but excited to dress up for the party.  

“You do make him happy, I know my brother.” Papyrus had somehow finished the rest of his plate as you kept to your thoughts.  “He has been full of life more recently then he has in a long while.  When ever he thinks no one is looking he looks at the picture of you on his phone.”

You swallowed another bite and choked.  “P-picture?  The one from when I was in the hospital?”  That was such a terrible picture.  You looked a mess and it wasn’t something you thought he would have kept.  The lock to the front door clicked and the door opened making it clear that Sans had returned.

Papyrus shook his head, “No, he has another one of you drawing.”

“Who has one of whom drawing?” Sans smiled as he walked around the corner to stand behind your chair.  He couldn’t see your face, but he chuckled as he caught sight of the tips of your ears as they flushed a deep red.

“You have a picture on your phone of ____ drawing, remember?” Papyrus smiled as he got up and walked to the kitchen to grab another plate.  “Join us for lunch brother?”

Sans shook his head and leaned forward, placing the backs of his hands on the chair, waiting and watching for your reaction.  “Telling my secrets huh, bro?  I’ll pass on lunch.”  He paused as he tapped the back of your chair, grinning when you jumped slightly, “Mind if I borrow ____ for a moment?”

Papyrus turned and studied Sans for a moment and nodded.  “I will leave you two for now, but ____ must eat the spaghetti she requested!” Papyrus closed the cupboard and walked off to his room.  He looked back once and smiled before he closed the door to his room.

The room was silent except for Sans tapping the back of your chair and your fork clicking against the plate as you set it down.  

“You asked him to make you spaghetti?” Sans chuckled as he circled around to the side of your chair and stood next to the table.  You nodded since you were not able to look at him just yet.  “Feeling alright?”

“Y-yeah.  I just had a nightmare...I have a small headache...and I just wanted to eat spaghetti.” You poked at the food with your fork and sighed.

Sans tilted his head slightly as he thought about, “That...doesn’t make sense...but hey, if that’s what you really wanted,”  Sans paused as he took a few steps away from you and grabbed a chair.  “We need to talk.”

“About last night?” You managed to squeak out.

“You aren’t playing fair.” He laughed as he pulled up a chair to sit next to you.

“I..I wasn’t playing…” You groaned as you continued to stare at your food.

“I know that.  I’ve had a bit to think things over.  Could you look at me?” Sans sighed as he grabbed a hold of your chair to turn so you were completely facing him.  You rose your head and gave him a quick smile.  He reached for your hand and took it in his, squeezing softly.  “That’s better,” He paused and leaned back in his chair, “I’m going to be completely honest with you kid, I don’t have a lot to offer you.”

“I’m not asking for much...I just…I want to say I’m not asking for much...but I mean...you’re heart’s a lot right?  I understand that...that if you-”

“I gotta say, I lack the pulse for that.” Sans chuckled as he stared down at your hand he was holding.  He sat quietly for a second before gently turning your hand over to look at it.  His grip on your wrist loosened, giving the option for you to take your hand back if you wished before he traced your scars with the tips of his fingers.  “If we’re going to do this we need to be honest with each other.”

“Let me go first…” You hesitated slightly as you pulled your hand away.  You looked off to the side and sighed softly as you gripped the at the neck of your turtleneck.

I have to tell him I lost my pendant…

“I...the day that you…” You paused as you tried to figure out how to phrase it.  “The day Frisk, Alphys, and Undyne stayed over...the reason I was in your room...I was looking for the pendant you gave me.  I’m sorry Sans...I lost it…”  You moved your hand away from your neck and gently rubbed your temple.

Sans sat quietly for a moment before leaning back in his chair and let out a laugh, “You don’t need to worry about that.”

“I do! You gave it to me...it’s...special…” It _was_ special.  

Sans smiled as he cupped your hand on your hand before pulling it away, “Don’t worry about it.  I get it.  I actually had it.” He smiled as he squeezed your hand once more, “You threw it at me after all.  The chain snapped and needed to have that fixed.”  You did remember throwing something at him after all...it must have been your pendant.

“I’m sorry!” You apologized quickly.  Your eyes slowly shut and you took a slow breath as sat their.  Your headache wasn’t getting any better and you began to notice to the quiet ringing in your ears.

“It’s fine,” Sans smiled as he reached into his pocket to grab the pendant.  “A headache bothering you?”

“Yeah...don’t worry...where were you this morning?  I thought you didn’t have to go back to work today?”  You were relieved that your pendant wasn’t lost, and you were happy he wasn’t upset with you.

“Needed to clear my head and think of a few _creative_ things to say,” Sans grinned, waiting for your response.

“Hey...you’ve already used that before.” You chuckled softly, forgetting about your headache for a moment.

“I didn’t think _hue_ would mind.” He chuckled.

“I am starting to see your _pattern_ …” You couldn’t help but laugh.  “I didn’t think that was your _style_.”

“I think you’re underestimating my technique.  A comedian like myself must always be using their _material_.”

“Alright...alright enough.” You chuckled softly and squeezed his hand, “I get it...so you went out to think up jokes and puns…”

“Not entirely.  I needed to give my answer to you.” It was faint, but you could see blue lightly tint his cheek bones.

You couldn’t help but blush, “I-I-I’m sorry about last night...I just…”  You let out an audible whimper and leaned forward, pulling his hand up as you covered your face with your arm.  “I don’t know what I was thinking...I just...it was part spur of the moment...part a lot of things going through my head…” You rambled before Sans gently pulled your arm away.

“Hey, like I said.  You weren’t playing fair.” His smile only grew as he watched you.  “Not in between?”

“Can...can I see my soul?”

Sans paused, caught back by your request.  “Your soul?  Why?”

You bit your lip once again as you took a deep breath, “You said it’s made of the...non physical things...like emotions and such…”  Sans nodded and you continued, “I want you to see how serious I am...about...us?”

“I believe you’re serious.” Sans hesitated as you pulled your hand out of his.

“Please...I want to see it…” You begged you needed him to see.  He needed to see before he gave you his answer.

Sans sighed as he held up his hand, “Just for a minute then…”  You closed your eyes as you felt the familiar pull at your core.  You sat quietly, afraid to open your own eyes.  “Wow…” Sans said softly that caused your breath to catch.

“What?  Is something wrong?”  You opened your eyes and stared at your soul.  “It...It’s so bright.”

Sans smiled, enamored by the sight, “It is.  You really don’t play fair kid.”

“Don’t call me kid…” You pressed your lips together tightly before speaking again, “I...I’m not a child.  Call me anything else...but that…”

“Got it...how about hun?”

Your cheeks flushed and a smile slowly curled your lips, “I...I would be okay with that…”  Sans chuckled as you watched his index finger trace the outline of your soul in front of him.  “What are you doing?”

Sans finally looked away, “Don’t think I’d ever get tired of seeing it.  It was bright before...but I wasn’t expecting the color.  It’s come a long way since I first saw it…”  His attention returned to your soul.

“Because of you…” You didn’t understand why, but you felt embarrassed at just how he stared at your soul.  “Do...do you understand?”

“Yeah, clearly.” He smiled as he hesitated to move his hand closer.  Sans knew he shouldn’t touch it, but he couldn’t help it.  Your soul was beautiful, it was full of life.  He never thought he would see it like this.

You reached out and gently grabbed his hand, “Don’t...don’t do that…” You pulled his hand closer to your soul and stopped, “It’s fine…”

**_That’s not a very good idea…_ **

You gasped as another sharp pain shot through your skull as Sans’ fingers wrapped around your soul.

“Hey!  What’s wrong?” Sans let go of your soul and let it return to your core before he pressed his hand against your forehead.

You leaned into his touch and took a deep breath, “Yeah...just...my head.  I don’t think I slept enough…”

_That voice...what was that?_

Sans sat quietly as he watched you, waiting for any signs you may be getting worse, but sighed in relief when your shoulders relaxed and you slowly opened your eyes.  “Alright...here, let’s get you back to bed for now then…”  Sans slowly stood up and hooked one hand under your arm to slowly pull you to your feet.

“Wait!  I...what about us?  No in between?” You stuttered as Sans helped you stand.

“Yes, nothing in between.” He smiled as he helped steady you on your feet.  “Still okay with going at our own pace?”

You nodded, a new smile curling on your lips that made your jaw ache.  “I’m okay with that…”

“Hey...no tears.” Sans laughed as his other hand reached up to cup your cheek.

“I'm not crying.” You paused as you felt his thumb gently wipe the now noticeable tears from below your eyes.  You chuckled lightly and nuzzled your face into his hand.  “I’m...I’m happy.”

Sans nodded as he let go of your hand and reached into his pocket.  “Here, this belongs to you.” He pulled out the pendant and pulled his other hand away from your face.  He froze for a moment as he looked down at the necklace in his hand.  “This…”

“I’m...I’m glad it wasn’t lost…” You laughed as you reached out and gently took it from his hands, “Could you put it on me later after I’ve slept for a bit?”  Sans stood quietly as he continued to stare at it.  “Sans?”  

“Huh?” Sans quickly looked away from it and back at you.

“Could you put it on me later?”  You didn’t understand the confused expression on his face, but his smile returned shortly and he continued to lead you down the hallway.

“Ah, yeah.  That’s no problem.”  Sans was clearly distracted by something, but you didn’t press it.  Your day started out crummy, but it quickly turned around.  You were happy, and you weren’t going to let a headache ruin that for you.

You closed the door to your bedroom and crawled into bed.  The pendant that Sans had given you was safely returned.  You admired it before you shut your eyes.

Sans stood outside your door, something wasn’t right.  When he heard you settle down he quietly walk down the hall and knocked on his brother’s door.  Papyrus quickly opened it and darted back out into the kitchen.

“Sans!  You didn’t let her finish eating!” Papyrus sighed as he picked up the bowl to retrieve a container to save the leftovers.

“Sorry Paps, I’ll be sure to have her finish it later.  She’s just feeling tired still.”  He paused as Papyrus continued to clear the table and separated the leftovers into two large containers.  “Hey, do you remember the pendant I gave ____?”

“You mean the heart?  I haven’t seen her wear it recently.  She hasn’t been wearing it the last couple of days.

“Yeah, I was holding onto it for her for a while.  I was just wondering if you remembered what color it was?”  
Papyrus stopped as he placed the large bowl into the sink.  “Of course brother, it was blue.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a day late...I tried getting this out last night, but I took some sleeping pills and they knocked me out faster then I thought. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter and I'm sorry about the nightmare at the start. A lot is happening, and I hope you'll stick around for the many questions I may have you wondering.
> 
> My mind's pretty dead at this point and sadly I can't think of much to say today.
> 
> Thanks for reading and I'll start working on the next update! You guys are seriously amazing and thank you for giving me the determination to keep writing.
> 
> shameless tumblr plug for updates: http://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	18. The Voice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 100k words...never thought this would be going for this long...

Sans stood outside of your bedroom door and waited until he heard your breathing slow.  He sighed as you slept again.  He didn’t just imagine it, right?  He needed to make sure.  He approached Papyrus’ door and lightly rapped his knuckles on the door.  Papyrus quickly opened the door and ran passed Sans, assuming that the two of you were done chatting and ran off in the direction of the kitchen.

“Sans!  You didn’t let her finish eating!”  He sighed as he picked up the bowl in the middle of the table and took it with him as he entered the kitchen.  He placed it on the counter and searched the cabinets above for a few saver bowls.

“Sorry Paps, I’ll be sure to have her finish it later.  She’s just feeling tired still.”  Sans paused as he looked back down the hall and then back to Papyrus.  He had moved to the table once again and picked up the plate you had left on the table to put in a separate bowl for later.  Sans hesitated, but he need to make sure he wasn’t going crazy.  “Hey, do you remember the pendant I gave ____?”

Papyrus slowly turned to look at his brother, “You mean the heart?  I haven’t seen her wear it recently.  She hasn’t been wearing it the last couple of days.”

Sans rubbed the back of his neck, trying to find the words to say, but there wasn’t any way this question wasn’t going to sound strange.  “Yeah, I was holding onto it for her for a while.  I was just wondering if you remember what color it was?”

Papyrus turned back to cleaning up the dishes behind him.  He smiled brightly and placed the large bowl from earlier into the sink, “Of course brother, it was blue.”

Sans froze once again.  “Blue, huh?”

He wasn’t going crazy.  It really was blue.  Papyrus wouldn’t lie to him.  He knew that.  The pendant wasn’t blue.  It wasn’t supposed to be blue.  It was purple, it matched her soul.  That was the entire purpose of it.  Now though, it resembled the color of his magic.  The very same magic that he has used on…

No.

That’s not possible.  The pendant was a simple pendant.  It wasn't made from magic.  It was bought from a simple human jewelry store.  He didn’t know of any magic that physically changed an item.  It was different if the item was made from magic, but that wasn't the case.  Not with this.

“Sans?”  Papyrus has turned once again and turned to watch his brother.  “Is there something wrong?”

He couldn’t worry Papyrus with this.  Papyrus didn’t notice, and you didn’t notice.  You saw it as your pendant.  So far, he was the only one to notice the change.

“No, no.  Was just lost in thought.”  Sans hated lying to his brother, but there was no reason to worry Papyrus over it.  

While Sans was digging through his thoughts, trying to make any sense of what was going on, Papyrus had approached him.  He placed his hands ungloved hands and gently shook him.  Sans snapped out of his thoughts and looked up, surprised he didn’t notice his brother approaching.

“Sans...is this about ____?” Papyrus paused but then quickly smiled.  “Worry not brother!  If it is dating advice I can help!  I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS is more then happy to help his brother in need!” Papyrus grinned as he hugged Sans tightly and then quickly darted back towards his room to retrieve an all familiar book.

Sans shook his head and followed his brother to stand in the doorway.  “What makes you think I need dating advice?”

Papyrus froze as he picked up the book but smiled guiltily as he glanced back over at Sans.

“Eavesdropping?” Sans chuckled.  He would worry about the pendant later.

“I was just worried about my brother, and my friend!” Papyrus defended himself, not the least bit sorry.  “I am happy to know that you were finally honest with yourself!”  Papyrus held the book in his hand and firmly pressed his fists against his hips.  “I assured you she was fond of you!  There was no reason to doubt THE GREAT PAPYRUS!”

Sans couldn’t help but smile and shrug his shoulders.  “What can I say.  My bro’s always right.  Never should have doubted you.”

Papyrus smiled before he pulled his hands away from his hips and looked through his book.  “Yes!  This is the one.”  He quickly approached Sans and shoved the book into his hands.  “This will help with the confessions of your true feelings!”

Sans opened the book and flipped through a few pages, he laughed lightly and closed it, “I don’t know if this book will be much help Paps, but I’ll read it over.  Sans turned to walk out of the room but was suddenly lifted from behind and pulled into a tight hug.  He laughed and turned his head to look back at his brother.

“I am happy for you Sans, truly happy.  I know that she will make you happy.”  Papyrus held Sans tightly for a moment longer before setting him back down.  He bounded out of his room and ran towards the front door.  He quickly turned and waved, “I will be home later!  Be sure to take care of ____!”

Papyrus has already bolted out of the door and closed it behind him before Sans could ask where he was off to.  He placed the book on the table as he walked into the kitchen.  The saver bowls still sitting out.  Sans shook his head and collected them to toss into the fridge before he retrieved his phone from his other pocket and opened it to message Alphys.

**Do you know of any magic that changes physical properties of something made traditionally?**

He sent the message and stared at his phone.  He knew it wasn’t worth asking if either Undyne or Alphys about the color of the pendant since they were out of town when he originally purchased it.  His phone buzzed in his hand and he opened the new message.

 **I can check a few things, but I’ve never heard of magic behaving in such a manner.  I’ll get back to you if I can find anything.** **_\- Alphys_ **

Sans replied back with his thanks and took a seat on the couch in the living room, flipping the TV on and turning to some random channel for background noise.

_What did I just get myself into?_

Sans recalled your soul and smiled.  It had never been that bright before.  You were serious, your feelings were true.  There was no game, no reason to deceive him.  You had been scared to hear his response.  You were happy, sad, anxious, excited, and there was something mysterious hidden away that Sans just couldn’t read.  That’s what made him hesitate.  Whatever it was, he wasn’t going to let that bother him now.

He would worry about the pendant later.  For now, you were happy.  He didn’t want to worry you with the sudden change in your pendant.  He’d be on the lookout for any other noticeable changes.  He turned his attention down the hall and smiled.  He would be there for you when you wake up.

**~ * ~**

Sleep wasn’t what you needed.

The scene before you had changed, but the people had not.  You still continued to follow the child through a dark cave lit from above with beautiful crystals.  Blue glowing mushrooms and brightly blue flowers spotted the floor as you advanced.  The static continued to skip inside your head as you slowly moved along the cavern.  

It was unsettling.  Why was the child happy one second, then the next they would outright murder.  You helplessly watched, unable to shut your eyes to what you were witnessing.  You stopped a distance from the child, still outside of view of them.  You watched as a figure drew attention atop the other cave’s entrance, tossing aside their helmet to reveal the long red hair tied tightly up in a pony tail.  You were surprised at first that it was Undyne, but she mentioned a while back that she used to be Captain of the Royal Guard in Underground.  You didn’t want to see what was going to happen.

_S᷇̓top ̢i᷄͒̽̽̔̎t̐ͩ.͍̭͓̓᷈᷀.̦̇ͧͧ͂.ẅ̼̱ͣh̸̬y͚᷁ͦ̎̀̄̀͘ i̵s̶̞̜ͨ͐ ̖᷆̔th̪is ͪh̓a̛͇̕p̜͛ͭp̳̺̓̂̀ͤͅe̝᷆n̆i̻ͯͯ̉͗n̦ģ̙᷾̌̅᷁…̆̀_

Another sharp pain blurred your vision and the scene in front of you slowly faded away.

**_Why indeed.  It is a question I would very much like an answer to as well._ **

Why was their voice so clear in the sea of static filling your head.

_Ẉ͔̳h́o̭᷇͋᷉͘ ̖a̔̅͊̏͟r̦̣ͦ᷾͊e͏͍ͮ͂͜ ̨͓̐y͇͉᷂̯ͣ᷾᷉ọ̴͆̚u̮̻᷈̕?̻̮̇_

**_Who I am is unimportant.  I am here, there, and everywhere.  In future, past, and present.  The question is, who are you?_ **

Their voice echoed inside your head.  They were within you, but not.  In front of you, but behind you.  To your right, but also your left.

Iͥ'm m̧̛̳̖ͦ̓e?̣̓᷉ ̕͡ W̬̝̿h̦̭ͦ͂̚o̓̈́͐ͮ ̺̝ͣ̕el̥̫᷅s̴e ̲w̜̲o᷊ͬ̓͟ul͔᷁̆̐᷅̈́̍͡dͤ ͙̲̓ͨI̷̓̕͡ beͩ?ͤ

**_Answering a question with a question will not get us anywhere._ **

The voice had grown impatient and another sharp pain pulsed in your head.  You were getting tired of these.

_M̈a͌͜k̷᷂̼e᷾ ̙͏̬ͩ̾iț̞ sto͎̫̚p͖̙ͯͅ!̛̊_

The darkness faded and you were able to see the mouth of the cave once again.  Undyne, in a rush to save the small armless child you were sure you had seen in the small snowy town previously.  Undyne had pushed the kid behind her and took the full force.

Their voices still hidden behind the static.  You cried out in your head as you just stood there, watching.  Why.  Why couldn’t you move.  Why couldn’t you look away?  It was nauseating watching the scene repeat itself.  The times the child would run away, run into the mouth of the cave were the only welcomed visions, but another break in the static, another flash, and they would be holding the knife.  Dodging Undyne’s fierce attacks.  She was determined to stop the child...and you had started to wish for it as well.

_W̭᷿̬̒̋̉h̨͖̭͚̗̝̊ͣ̐᷆ͦ̾y̲͒́᷈ͤ͆̏̚͜?_

Another sharp pain blocked off your vision once again.

**_It seems that me being here is causing you pain, interesting._ **

_Wh᷁o ̐ar̸e y̳̕o͗͛̽̕̚u᷁̾?  I̲̋f̨̼ ͓̖͛ͭ᷅y̸̷̹͞ou’ŗ̷̣᷀e ͓wha̖͆t̆’̯͖̲̈sͪ̎ ̖c̳᷃̃͐a̜͈͋ͨͪͫu̒s̈́in̦̜̜̜̮̋̂͡g t͝h̟᷿eͫsͣ̿͋e̶ drē᷉a̓ms t̫͌ͯh̿͏̂᷉e̠̗̓͏͚n-̢̩̘̙͑͂͒͌̒͐̇᷄̓_

**_Dreams?  Ah, that would make sense for you, wouldn’t it._ **

You could feel yourself wince.  Every time they spoke it felt like your head was splitting open.

_St᷄o̷᷊p̫͇̐̈́.᷇̊.ͬͯ̾.͍͠st᷊o̥p͚ͥ t̤al᷃̾͟kinĝ̞ͥ.̻́..͕̆͂͛͑̂͡i̖t ̭͍͙̩̖̑̽̊̊̚hͦͨṳ̯ͧͬrts̾…_

There was a silence, but the darkness persisted.  You thought it was finally gone with another pain pulsed.

**_It would be troublesome if something were to happen to you.  You’ll be familiar with this, bear with this pain for just a moment longer._ **

Before you could respond you felt the familiar pull in your chest.  You froze as your soul floated effortlessly in front of you.  The color was a deep purple, it resonated softly.  You watched it, unsure what was going on.  You reached out for it, but stopped shortly before it.  Your hand would just pass through it anyway.

The darkness around you began to spin.  The sudden change  and a new white light cut through as the mass encircled your soul.

_Wͫhaͫt͛ ̡ar̦e̐ ̑y̷͕̮͒o̫᷀u̵̸̙͛᷾ ̬͈͍͍ͪ͡d̜͍̼̏̊oi̫͍ͥng̗!̪_

There was no other way to explain it but a heaviness.  You felt a pressure well up inside you as the blackness enclosed it.

_D̤onͪͣ’̸᷿̒ͮ̿͜ṭ͔͍̄!̡̠̒ ̟ͅ ͍̝Get̉ ᷅̌awa̲᷀̇᷅y ̨̰̄fróͭm î̩̦͊t͔᷆!͈̔_

You instinctively reached out for it, surprised when your hand wrapped around what felt like velvet.  You gripped tightly and pulled at it, desperately trying to free your soul.  You yanked at it and the blackness seeped through your fingers, joining back with the mass.

_Ş͔͚̱ͯ᷀̚tͭơ̠ͧ̔͢p ̸͘it!͇_

Your chest felt tight as you gasped for air.  You squeezed your eyes as a burning sensation overtook you.  You collapsed into a ball as you tried to catch your breath.  The static had finally settled, and the burning sensation slowly faded.  Your breath returned as you slowly opened your eyes, vision blurred with tears.  You took in a deep breath as you tried to look at your soul, and froze.

**_I am sorry for the intrusion, but for now I think this would work best for the both of us._ **

Before you stood a man...monster...something.  It’s form felt solid, yet it wasn’t.  Their white hands floated effortlessly cradling your soul which floated inches away.  You watched them cautionary as a crooked smile formed on their face.  A terrible crack split the top of their head from their right eye and on the lower left side of their mouth it cut down through their jaw.

_W̜͉͕̄̐̾̓ȟ͎̗͓͈̈̆a̢̛᷈̅̈̈́̇t̘͚͖̞᷄̍͠.͖̼͈̳̌͊͂.̴̝͚̊ͯ̕͡.̙͔͔̼͐̋͑ẇ̙ͪ̈́᷀̃͟h̡᷿̯̥ͤ᷃̕a̢̪̺̎̓᷾͘tͨ͏͕̼ͦ̐͟ d̨͕̯͂ͤͥ̚ï̴᷿̣̄͘͠d̟̟͚᷊͎͆̑ y͕᷄͌ͮ͑ͤͪo̱᷿̅᷃᷈͆͋u͚̣̲͆̉ͥ̔ d̞̞̆ͦ͏̢ͣo̶᷉̏ͧ̇̈́́ t̲͓̆̒᷀̏͡ơ̥̟̞̌̋͝ m̱̬ͧ̄͑᷈ͅe̷̙̝͉̘̅̊?̴͙͔͌ͣ̾̈́_

The static returned as you opened your mouth.  The words barely audible through the piercing static.  You tightly shut your mouth and clasped your hands over your ears.  You watched the monster crouch, pulling your soul with it.  It watched you curiously.  Almost lost in thought.

A new hand levitated out from behind it and started to form symbols above their head.  You watched, curiosity taking over.  They began to speak again once they held your attention.

**_It seems while you are here you and I cannot communicate clearly.  For now, I can offer some information as to what it was you just experienced._ **

You couldn’t help but nod.  You slowly pulled your hands away from your ears and slowly looked around the white space you were in.

_W̗᷀̍ͦ᷅̅͘ͅh̋͏̡̛͉̖͈̀ė̸̸̍ͧ᷉͞r̫̟͕̅᷅᷉̋ȩ̡͈̦̱ͮ̍.̡̠̺̠̙̼̺ͥ.̶̸̵᷂̜̄᷀.̦̳͚̻͖̟̔_

You shut your mouth quickly.  Frustrated with this static.  It no longer hummed in your head, and you were happy the pain was gone.

They held up the hand above their head in a motion to have you wait and slowly stood up.  They took a few steps away and turned back to you before motioning around themselves.

**_This is a space I have created for the two of us to speak.  Since I have found myself stuck here, I may as well get to know my host._ **

A new smile formed on their face as they turned their attention to your soul.

**_I was not expecting to find someone like yourself.  I intend to find out who exactly you are and where you have come from._ **

You listened closely, their words almost foreign to you as they spoke.  What did they mean exactly.  Who exactly was this?  What did they do to your soul.

The monster laughed as he watched your soul pulse, you gasped as you saw the blackness earlier swirl around it’s edges.  They drew their attention away from your soul as you slowly began to panic.

**_Do not worry, I am only borrowing a small amount of your essence.  Like you, I have a very powerful will to live._ **

They paused as they waited for your reaction.  You were nervous, and you didn’t like that someone else was near your soul.  That was you.  That was all of you, who ever this was.  They looked back down to your soul that was floating in their hands.

**_Your soul is unharmed.  I have taken residence within it for the time being.  Your mind was far too unstable and volatile.  The magic that still holds my consciousness together was far too demanding for such a tiny space to contain._ **

You felt there was an insult there, but you let it slide.  Your attention was still on your soul that they held.

The monster laughed and took a few steps back towards you and held out your soul in front of them.

**_I assure you that I have no interest in existing for an extensive amount of time within you.  My reach is rather limited here and I can no longer observe quietly from this plane._ **

_This plane?_

You were happy to find that your thoughts alone did not contain the annoying static.

**_Ah! Of course!_ **

Their sudden declaration and quick jerk of their body startled you as they pulled the soul closer to their face.

**_It would make perfect sense that your thoughts could be conveyed.  Interesting.  This will make it easier to communicate._ **

_Wait wait wait...you can read my thoughts?_

**_It seems I will have to explain things to you._ **  

They sighed, basically annoyed with your question.

**_You are already aware of your soul and what it represents, but I will explain it again.  This is a visual form of all non physical elements of yourself as a human._ **

They paused, seemingly pulling one of their hands away, separating the distance between your soul, and their now empty hand.  You watched as a monster soul, their violet soul, manifested in their empty hand.

**_Unlike a human’s soul, a monster’s soul is white-_ **

_But Sans’ was blue!  And your soul is purple like mine!_

You remembered this.  You remembered their soul appeared upside down, but it definitely had a color to it.

**_Please do not interrupt me._ **

They snapped quickly, you flinched at the harshness, but tried to calm your thoughts.  Once you had settled, they continued.

**_The soul you saw was in fact white.  What you saw was it’s most predominant trait.  You see like I mentioned earlier, the two of us share the similar trait.  That is not important now though.  In my current form, I lack a physical form, and no, what you felt earlier was not considered physical.  It is something you will not be able to comprehend._ **

_Like...magic?_

The monster sighed and shook their hand free of the soul they had claimed as their own.  They approached you once again and your soul slowly returned to your core.  You felt a bit of relief, but still felt uneasy.

**_That is the closest term that can be used to describe it, but not quite.  I do not wish to explain unimportant things._ **

_You’re saying you’re residing in my soul...and that explaining what exactly you did...what exactly you placed in my soul isn’t important?_

You were annoyed, who did this thing think they were?

_What gave you the right to even be here...in my...soul...head...body...wherever.  I don’t get it._

**_I did not choose to be here.  If I had my way I would have never chose to reside here.  Do to unfortunate circumstances, we are stuck like this.  The best we can do is tolerate each other._ **

_This can’t be happening...this is just a dream…_

Your head spun, and you could feel a slight ache in your head.  It wasn’t as bad as earlier, but you didn’t understand anything that was going on.

**_Then why not just wake up?_ **

A loud knock sounded on your door, startling you from your sleep.  Your eyes slowly opened as you sat up in bed.  The pain in your head dully throbbed.  You don’t know what was going on, but you would be happy to just have a normal dream.  Even better yet, no dream.  Just sound sleep.  The knock sounded again.  Before you could answer, the door cracked open and you could see Sans slowly peek through the crack.

“S’okay if I come in?” he asked quietly.

“Y-yeah.”  You suddenly felt nervous and pulled your blanket up over your head.  You didn’t need to be embarrassed about seeing you when you wake up.  You couldn’t help that you were now.

Sans slowly opened the door just enough to slip through before closing the door quietly.  He waited a moment before he turned and approached the side of your bed, taking a seat near the foot.  “How you feeling?  I heard you mumbling and figured you were awake.”  He rubbed the back of his head as he glanced at you and then to the blankets.

“Mumbling?”  You spoke the word softly as you sat and thought for a moment.  Maybe you were talking in your sleep.  

“Yeah, couldn’t make it out.  I was going to see if the pharmacy down the road was opened.  Do you want me to pick up anything, or…” He trailed off as he looked over onto dresser.  He paused and slowly looked back at you, “Maybe you’re good?”

You glanced over to your dresser and quickly grabbed your blanket and pulled it further over your head.  Between the stacks of books and clothes was your collection of pill bottles.  You’d move them from your nightstand to sit there, out of the way after spilling them last time.  

“I-I don’t actually take all of those...I just...I don’t throw them away...What if...if…”  You rambled as you felt the weight of the bed shift and then a pressure press against your legs.  You attempted to shift them when you felt yourself loose the grip on the blanket as the blanket was pulled up to let Sans see you once again.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to imply that ki-....hun.” Sans quickly caught himself and you chuckled.

“So that wasn’t something I imagined earlier?” You offered a shy smile.

“Imagined what?” Sans pulled the blanket over his head to let it rest.

“Us...we?  We’re...official right?  Not joking?  Not a dream?” You looked down and gently chewed on your lip.  You desperately hoped it wasn’t part of the dream.

Sans chuckled once again, leaned forward, and pressed his forehead to yours.  “You were serious.  I gave you a serious answer.”

You were grinning like a fool, and you could feel the heat rising in your cheeks.

_This is real…_

You couldn’t help but giggle and Sans laughed lightly.  “I take it you’re feeling better.  Up to finishing your dinner?”

You paused a moment as you pulled the blanket back from over your heads.  It fell behind your back and you leaned forward, keeping your forehead pressed against Sans.  This was nice.  You finally looked up and noticed the light shade of blue on his cheek.

_Is that blush?_

You were more curious than anything, but it made you happy.  Maybe he was just as nervous as you were.  Even so, you felt his hand find yours and lift it slowly to his chin.  He looked down at it and pressed his mouth against it.  You felt another warm tingle from the contact and your hand lightly twitched.

“What are you doing?” You didn’t want to break the mood, but you were fascinated.  He did this with you last night, but when you surprised him, and yourself, by kissing him, there was no ‘spark’.  It was awkward, and in a way you felt silly recalling it.

“You mean this?” Sans slowly flipped over your hand lightly pressed your wrist to his mouth.  You again felt the warm tingle of magic and you couldn’t help but giggle.

“Yes...yes that…” With the way, he held your hand you could wrap your fingers lightly around his thumb.  You gently squeezed it and smiled.

“Well, as you can see I lack lips to properly kiss, but the sentiment behind it is the same.  Humans tend to exaggerate and use the term _magical_ when referring to a first kiss...but unlike humans, I can actually apply…” You couldn’t help but interrupt him.

“Magic?”

Sans gently rubbed the tip of his thumb into your palm.  “For lack of a better word, yes.”

You smiled as he gently caressed the palm of your hand.  You loosened your grip on his thumb and watched him.  The terrible dreams that you had this morning and afternoon were all but forgotten in this moment.  Nothing could ruin this moment for you.

Or so you thought…

**_I see little point in your hesitations…_ **

You jerked away from Sans and quickly looked around the room.  

_No...no...no...no...you were a dream!_

“____?”

**_How many times does one need to explain things to you before you understand them?_ **

_What do you mean?  How can you expect me to take this so lightly?_

“...____?”

**_For the time being we tolerate our situation.  I have a few questions I need answers for.  When I find those answers, I am assuming I will find an answer as to how we can separate._ **

“____!”

Sans’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts as you finally turned to acknowledge him.

“Huh?  Sorry...sorry…”  You paused.

_How do I explain to him I’m literally talking to a voice...in my head…_

**_Telling others you are speaking to voices in your head doesn’t bode well.  I for one cannot have you admitted to some ward for study.  For now it would be wise to keep this between ourselves._ **

Great...now you were crazy...and the voice was rationalizing with you to keep said crazy voice a secret…

“I...I thought I heard something...sorry...I just…”  You kept your eyes adverted from his.  You hope he wouldn’t be able to tell you were lying, and if he could you hoped he wouldn’t press it.

“It’s just you and me.  Papyrus left earlier, I’m not sure when he’ll be back.”  Sans slowly stood from your bed and offered his hand.  “Papyrus wanted me to make sure you finished your spaghetti.  I’ll find something on the TV to watch

You nodded slowly, “That sounds fine.  I’m...feeling better than earlier.  Food sounds good...and a movie…”  You took his hand and he helped pull you to your feet.  You wobbled on your legs slightly, but you steadied yourself and turned to your nightstand.  “Could...could you…”

Sans followed your eyes and saw the blue pendant resting on the stand.  “Yeah, sure.”  He let go of your hand and grabbed it.  He studied it in his hand for a moment before looking back up to you.

**_Ah, so he’s noticed it as well…_ **

_What?_

The voice was silent, and you clenched your jaw slightly.  You wished they would just keep silent, but you somehow knew this wasn’t going to be the case.

“Could you lean forward?” Sans grabbed the chain with both of his hands and waited for you.

You nodded your head lightly and pulled your hair away from the back of your neck.  “This okay?”

He gave you a nod and reached his hands behind your neck. You could feel him fiddle with the clasp before pulling his hands away.  You didn’t wait before you let go of your hair and quickly grabbed at the pendant around your neck.

“Looks good,”  Sans said as he was focused on the pendant and you couldn’t help but smile.

“Thank you...thank you for getting it fixed...I’m so happy it wasn’t lost.” Before you realized what you were doing, you leaned forward, letting the pendant fall to rest near your collarbone.  You wrapped your arm around Sans and hugged him tightly.  “Thank you...thank you thank you thank you!”

Sans lightly laughed and pushed away from you.  “It wasn’t a problem.”  He gently guided your arm from around his back and he took your hand in his.  “Come on.  Get comfortable on the couch and I’ll bring you your food.”

“So my pick?” You chuckled softly as he squeezed your hand.

“Knock yourself out.”  Sans let go of your hand as the two of you separated at the couch.  You quickly found your spot on the couch and quietly flipped through channels on the television.  You could hear the microwave from the kitchen, and it wasn’t long before it alerted Sans to retrieve it.    His light footsteps quickly found their way to the opposite side of the couch.  Sans quickly took his seat, balancing the saver bowl in his hand.  He had his right knee drawn up on the couch and smiled at you.  

“You’re going to sit over there?”  You asked, glancing at the wide space on the couch between the two of you.

“If you’re wanting your food you’ll need to come get it.”  You weren’t entirely sure what he was up to, but the smell of the spaghetti made your stomach growl  You slowly stood from the comfortable place you had settled into on the couch and took a few steps towards him.  He playfully pulled the bowl back as you tried to reach for it and laughed.  

_So he’s going to play games…_

You waiting a moment before quickly grabbing for it.  This was a mistake.  The bowl levitated from his hand quickly into the air.  He used this moment to grab your wrist.  He quickly spun you so you would land, sitting on the couch.  He laughed once again at your stunned expression as he pulled you back to lean against his ribs.  Only then did the bowl slowly float down to land in your lap.  “That’s better.  This spot is definitely comfy.”

You sat for a moment, unsure what exactly just happened.  You looked at your lap at the bowl and then both to your right and left.  Sans’ right knee leaned against the back of the couch, while his left leg hung off the side of the couch.

“How…”

“It was all in the wrist.”  Sans wore a smug smile as the remote quickly floated passed you and into his hand.  “Looks like I get to pick the movie as well.

“That’s not fair!  You cheated!”  You couldn’t hold back your laughter.  What just happened was absurd, but you’d be lying if you said you honestly didn’t mind your sitting arrangements.

“I guess that makes the two of us.”  His smile never faded as you felt his right arm slowly wrap around your middle, hugging you tightly to him.  
You blushed lightly and you focused your attention on the food in front of you.  Despite how your day had gone before, you couldn’t have been more happier.  The nightmares were terrible, and the random voice inside your head was annoying, but sitting here with Sans made everything up until now not matter.  You were happy.  Sans seemed happy.  You were not going to let this ruin this moment for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to first apologize at how late this chapter is!
> 
> My brother's PC was in the shop all the way up until Thursday afternoon. I sat down with the full intent of having this ready to go on Friday...but then other things came up. I had been so busy that I wasn't even able to give any update until Saturday. Between family needing my attention for things, and weekends just being overly busy...I finally forced myself to finish the chapter tonight. The long delay in updates is not what I'm aiming for, and I'm hoping things have calmed down a bit...
> 
> Speaking of writing...a lot...I mean I finally threw in a few things I've been wanting to for a while. If it wasn't clear, the "static" is represented as the "glitchy" text. The louder it is the harder the text is to read was the idea for it. It's a pain...but I'm so...so glad it works. I'm also not going to beat around the bush, we know the "voice" is Gaster. I hope I made it completely obvious...if not...sorry for the spoiler?
> 
> More questions, more plans...so much...I'm excited for what's coming, and I hope you all are too. Next chapter we're returning to normal life. Let's see where this takes us. :3
> 
> Again...thank you so, so much for reading. I seriously love you guys, I love your comments, and the rare asks...I can't say how happy you all have made me. Thank you!
> 
> shamless tumblr plug for updates: http://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	19. Unease

The holiday had passed.  The first of the month had came and went, and there you were, lying in your bed staring up at the ceiling.  The morning sun had risen a while ago, and the sun shafts drew distinct lines across your bed and wall.   Sounds from the kitchen at the other end of the house could be heard quietly through the walls, reminding you that this is a normal waking hour, but for you, this was just another night passed that you had refused to fall asleep.

Sleep had not been welcoming.  Your eyes burned and the images seemed etched into the blackness as you closed your eyes to let them rest.  You forced your eyes shut, not to sleep, but to just lay there and think.  You did your best to ignore the terrible scenes.

You recalled last night how you laid with Sans on the couch.  You had your fill of Papyrus’ spaghetti and watched one corny movie after another.  A gentle smile curled over your lips and you couldn’t help but bring the back of your left hand to rest on them softly.  You stretched your fingers and flinched at the tightness that pulled at the base of your fingers.

You lifted your hand and stared at the scars and smiled.  The feeling had long since been gone from the palm of your hand, but something Sans did with his magic made your hand tingle.  It was a strange feeling, one you never thought you’d feel again.  He was gentle whenever he touched you, and you couldn’t help but smile like a fool.

You needed to start your day, though.  You slowly rolled over and pushed yourself out of bed and stumbled into your bathroom.  You felt your feet shuffle and knock aside a dirty towel and possibly an empty bottle as you stumbled towards your sink.  You splashed some water onto your face and lightly patted yourself dry before walking back out into your bedroom.

The light above you flickered on as you caught sight of yourself in the mirror next to your door.  You looked into the mirror and examined your face, sighing at the sight of the dark circles under your eyes.  You stood up straight as you grabbed ahold of your tank top and began to pull it over your head.

**_You really should clean that room…_ **

You yelped and ducked quickly out of the sight of the mirror.  “Will you just not pop out of nowhere?  I almost forgot you were there!” You growled in a hushed whisper to your intruding guest.

**_You asked me to remain silent last night, and I was, but I refuse to keep silent forever._ **

You did recall after some time during the movie requesting the voice to be quiet during the movies.  

“Right...right...your comments were distracting.”  You sighed as you remained on the floor, having turned away from the mirror and removed your shirt.  You searched the floor around you and turned to look into your bathroom.  “I guess I really do need to clean it…”

**_My comments were my own opinions on the absurdity of the movies._ **

“They were actors, and it was just a story.  It wasn’t real.”  You rubbed your stomach that decided to ache and growl.  

**_Your concepts and designs on monsters are ludicrous.  There are far scary looking monsters that lived in Underground, but none that has quite the murderous intent as the ones portrayed in those movies._ **

You couldn’t help but chuckle.  “Yeah...half the time you could even see the makeup.  Those monsters were designed on what we thought was just fairy tales.  No one really believed a race of monsters actually lived under Mt. Ebott for so long.”  You slowly stood to your feet and found some clothes from your clothset to wear.

**_Fascinating how much your ancestors wished to forget us._ **

“It was pretty scary at first... I just got out of the hospital and…” You quickly clasped your hand over your mouth.  Why were you suddenly just opening up to this thing that forced themselves into your head, into your soul?

_Why did I almost open up to them so easily?_

**_Like what you experienced with Sans, being in contact with your soul has formed a bond, however small it is._ **

There was no sanctuary from them.  They could hear your voice and your thoughts.  Nothing was private.

“Can you not do that?” You closed your eyes and imagined the face of the monster.  “Sans touched my soul...you...you’re in it right?”  Between the nightmares and the very little sleep you actually achieved last night, you had a lot of time to think.  You were thankful they didn’t interrupt but you were finally able to let everything sink in.  “What...what you are doing, and what Sans did are two different things.  Right?”

**_Yes.  That’s correct.  You found yourself opening up to Sans at the hospital did you not?_ **

“He saw that memory though...hey...WAIT!”  You clasped your hand on your mouth again, not wanting either Papyrus or Sans to hear you speaking to yourself.

_How do you know about the time at the hospital?  How long have you been inside me?_

**_Not long, but I am within your soul right now.  I have been looking for answers and came across the memory._ **

_You can see my memories?!_

**_That is what I had said._ **

_You’re looking for answers in my memories?  Why?!_

**_Does this surprise you?_ **

Honestly you didn’t know what to think.  Not only were your thoughts no longer personal, but now your memories were shared as well.  “I don't like this at all…” You felt extremely vulnerable.  You couldn't hide from them, and this only made you hate this even more.

**_How long are we going to stay in this room?  Do you not have things you need to do today?_ **

“Do I have things to do?  I...I guess I go back to work today…” You looked around your room and spotted your bag.  “I guess I need to do some shopping for food as well.”

**_It is after the first of the month.  In recent memories, that had a strong feeling attached to it._ **

You paused as you tried to understand what they meant when it clicked.  “Rent!”

If the voice spoke to you, you ignored it as you frantically searched your dresser for your check book.  You threw it onto your bed and searched around for your phone.  A soft knock sounded at your door, but you were too focused on sending a text message.

“____?” Papyrus slowly cracked your door and peeked inside, “I thought I heard noise and would like to ask if you would join me for breakfast.  I saw on your human television a show that--”  He stopped as he opened the door a bit more and quickly shut it.  “I am sorry!  I did not know that you were not dressed, forgive me!”

You finally looked up and back towards the door to see it close and realized the state of dress you were in.  You may have found clothes to wear at your clothset, but you hadn’t actually put them on yet.  You dropped your phone and quickly grabbed for your covers, but it was already too late.  You blushed and stammered to Papyrus through the door.

“I-I’ll be out in a moment!” You hid your face in your blanket and only looked up once your phone chimed again.  Papyrus answered and closed your door the rest of the way.  You could hear his footsteps grew quieter as he returned towards the kitchen.

**_You weren’t this shy while you were in the hospital._ **

“That’s different!” You paused as you chewed on your lower lip lightly.  “Privacy isn’t really a thing you have when it comes to treatment.  It’s something I got used to while being at a hospital.  It’s really not worth fighting.  Having casts made for molds, surgeries, cleanings…” You paused and grumbled.  There you went again, opening up to this voice.  “You can just see it can’t you?  Those memories?  Why ask?”

**_I thought you didn’t like that I could see your memories._ **

“I don’t!”

**_Then you rather I look through your memories then ask directly now?  Which is it?_ **

You grumbled again as you picked up your phone, your stomach turned as you reviewed the balance that was your bank account.

“Not enough….”  You ignored the voice again as you closed your phone and pressed wrist to your temple and looked towards the closet.  Another soft knock came at your door and you quickly pulled the blankets up further.  “Yes?”

“Hey.”  Sans voice softly called through the door.

“Sans?  You’re awake?” You quickly looked at the time, not long after 8am.

“Yeah, need to head in early to catch up with Alphys about some things.  Figured I’d ask what time you need to be at the Library?”  Sans didn’t open the door as he spoke to you.

“Just a moment, I’ll be out shortly!” You called as you pushed the blanket aside and found the clothes from your closet.  Without looking into the mirror you quickly pulled your sweater over your head and slipped on a pair of comfy slacks.  S

ans had long left your door and you waited a moment to make sure he was gone before you walked back over to your clothset and dug behind the stored art material.  Old sketchbooks, broken pencils, empty led containers, erasers...a lot was garbage, but you could never bring yourself to throw it out.  That wasn’t your current concern though.  You reached passed the empty containers to lift a small metal tin.

You slowly sat back on your heels as you placed the tin between your knees and pried the lid open.  A small envelope with the remnants of a note along with  Below that was what looked like a small pile of bills.

**_What’s this?_ **

You laid the lid for the tin off to the side before you slowly picked up the envelope.

“This is the last of my savings.” You barely spoke above a whisper as you shook the note free of it’s loose holder.

**_Savings?  Why do you keep this here?_ **

“If I don’t answer do you intend to find out either way?” You slowly unfolded the paper and read through the scrawled amounts written on the sheet.  The silence from the voice told you what you needed to know.  You decided to answer them, “If anything were to happen to my account, I would have extra money I could live off of...or for sudden emergencies.”

**_It seems like you need to replenish your savings._ **

“It will be easier now with Sans and Papyrus living here.”  You were doing it again.  You bit your lower lip as you focused on the tin in front of you.  There wasn’t a lot of money left in the box, maybe a little less than a thousand dollars, but you removed roughly half of it and scribbled a number and a reason onto the paper and tossed it back into the tin.  You quickly placed the lid back onto it and shoved it safely back into it’s hiding place before returning to your bedroom.  Another soft knock came from your door as you quickly shoved the money into your pocket as you lifted your bag from the floor.

“Coming!  For real this time!” You called as you quickly ran over to your dresser and pinned your bag between you and the drawer.  You ran a brush through your hair as Papyrus slowly peeked into your room.

“Human, your food is getting cold.” His tone was soft at first, possibly still embarrassed from earlier but he regained his happy composure as he realized you were fully dressed and standing by your dresser.  “I see you are doing better this morning!”  He threw open the door and rushed over to you.  He quickly hugged you around your middle and lifted you from your feet.  You couldn’t help but chuckle as your bag fell to the floor and you let your brush drop from your hand.

“Hey now!” You couldn’t help but laugh at this point.  Papyrus was so full of energy and he refused to let you down as he quickly rushed you out of your bedroom.  “My bag!” You laughed as you held onto his arm for dear life.  

He quickly placed you at the kitchen table, and it took you a moment to realize that your chair and Sans chair were pushed closely together, and your knee gently knocked against his.  You looked up to see the table was full of pancakes, bacon, eggs, and you couldn’t help but to spot what looked like to be cut up peppers prepared from the skillet.

“Papyrus!  What is all of this?” You looked from the table to him and he smiled greatly.

“I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS! WAS INSPIRED!” Papyrus proclaimed loudly as he gestured to himself.  

Sans lightly pressed his elbow against your arm and leaned in close to you, “My bro was watching a cooking show last night after you went to bed.”

You couldn’t help but blush as you felt his hand find yours under the table and give it a gentle squeeze before Papyrus divided up the food.  He returned his hands to the top of the table and helped Papyrus pass the food around.

“He did mention something about a TV show earlier…”  You mumbled softly under your breath as you focused on your plate in front of you.

Somewhere from within yourself you could almost swear you could feel the presence of your unwanted guest.  The heaviness you felt at your core almost felt heavier.  It was a strange feeling and you weren’t quite sure how to put what you were feeling into words.  It almost felt like a sadness, if you were to pick any word to apply to it.

“Are you okay?” You whispered softly to yourself.

“What was that?” Sans asked as he leaned back in his chair, holding a small bottle in his left hand.  “Didn’t quite catch that.”

“Oh no no! It’s nothing.  I was just thinking allowed.  Don’t worry.”  You quickly picked up your fork and took a mouthful of food.  Papyrus certainly was good at cooking if he wasn’t trying to put his own spin on things.  You couldn’t contain your smile as you savored the peppers and eggs.

**_You don’t need to speak aloud when speaking to me._ **

You sat chewing on your food, a habit to clear your mouth before speaking, but they were right.  You didn’t need to speak, but it still felt awkward.

_Speaking like this is weird, though._

There was silence within you before you chose to ask them again.

_Are you okay?  You...I felt something...it almost felt, sad?_

**_You do not need to concern yourself with me._ ** There was a long pause before they spoke again.  I will remember to keep things more in check in the future.

You tried to speak with the voice once more but all that was returned was their silence.  You decided to let them be and finish your breakfast.

**~ * ~**

Papyrus was kind enough to chauffeur you and Sans to your bank to deposit money and drop off the rent check with the landlord.  You made a sigh of relief as you climbed back into the backseat of the car, you were surprised to find that Sans took the seat next to you and left the front passenger seat empty.  You slowly opened your mouth to ask why but without words you received your answer.

“I’m going to be home late tonight,” Sans said quietly as Papyrus started the car’s engine.  You felt Sans’ hand rest at the right side of your leg and gently hold the fabric.  You couldn’t help but blush as you wished you sat behind the passenger seat.

“Yeah?  I am going to be closing with Ally tonight.”  You placed your hand in your lap and lightly played with the fabric from your sweater.  Your hand flinched slightly as Sans slowly turned his hand over so his palm faced up.  You smiled again as you curled the tips of your fingers with his and squeezed his hand lightly.  You didn’t give much thought as you shifted in your seat and felt yourself leaning up against his shoulder.

“I CAN TAKE A DETOUR IF YOU TWO WISH TO CANOODLE!” His intentions were pure, but oh god, could he not have phrased it better.

“C-canoodle?” You stammered as you sat up right and quickly unlatch your hand from Sans.  You could feel the tops of your ears warm up and you were sure they must have been red.

Sans laughed, but you could see the tops of his cheekbones were burning a bright shade of blue.  You smiled, happy to see that you weren’t the only one caught off by Papyrus’ outburst.  “No Paps, the normal route is fine.”  Sans let out a low chuckle as his eyes slowly turned to glance at you.  You offered him a smile and chuckled softly.  The small moment between the two of you may have been interrupted, but it made you happy none the less.

The remainder of the car ride was silent.  You turned and watched out the windows as you passed by tall skyscrapers.  You nearly pressed your face against the glass as you tried to see their tops before the car turned into an underground parking garage.  You closed your eyes as the lights dimmed and opened them once again as the car came to a complete stop.  

There wasn’t any words of goodbye before Sans unbuckled his belt and exited the car on his right.  You couldn’t help but feel sadden by this until you heard a tap at your car window and the door slowly open.  Sans stood there a moment before moving aside.  “Sit up front with Paps.  I’m sure he’ll like the company.”

It took you a moment before you unbuckled your belt and took Sans’s right hand as he helped you out of the car.  You tried to take your hand back, but he refused to let you go.  You watched as his grip loosened and slowly bring the tops of your fingers to his mouth and hold them there for a moment.  You felt the warmth of his magic prickle across the top of your skin and you smiled.  He may not have lips, but his kisses were gentle.  He still held your hand as he reached up with his left to lightly brush the hair away from the right side of your face and tuck it behind your ear.

“Message me when you’re done at the library.  I’ll meet you to head home.”  Sans smiled as he hesitated to take his hand away from you.  He watched you for a moment and didn’t move when another set of employees passed by.  “You going to be okay today?”

You smiled, “I’ll be okay.  You don’t need to worry about me, really.”

He offered you another smile as he closed the car door behind you and finally turned to take slow steps towards the building’s entrance.  He turned once more to wave and you smiled and returned the gesture as he turned back to enter the building.  You stood there watching the doors for a moment and took a deep breath.

Papyrus waited patiently for you to return to the car and he happily helped you fasten your seat belt before starting the car up once again.  You couldn’t help the smile that formed on your face as you watched the buildings pass by your car window once more.

“I AM HAPPY FOR YOU HUMAN!” Papyrus proclaimed loudly.  He could no longer contain his excitement, but you still winced at the volume of his voice in the tight space.  “MY BROTHER DOES NOT LIKE MORNINGS VERY MUCH, BUT HE KNEW THAT YOU WOULD NOT SEE EACH OTHER UNTIL AFTER YOUR SHIFT AT THE LIBRARY!.”

“Sans does like to sleep in.”  You smiled softly to yourself as you recalled the many times that Sans would just lounge in his chair, the couch, and his bed.  If you would leave him there, he would probably sleep all day.

**_It seems some things never change…_ **

The voice startled you, they had been quiet for the last few hours of running errands and while you and talked with your landlord.  You were almost sad to admit that you had almost forgotten they were there.

“Don’t scare me like that…” You said quietly.

“Oh,” Papyrus said softly, “I did not mean to scare you.”

You realized you spoke aloud again and you quickly raised your hand to wave in front of you. “No-no-no!  I was just thinking about something else.  You didn’t do anything wrong! I was…” You searched your thoughts for any excuse that would make sense.

**_Thinking about those terrible movies…_ **

“Thinking about the movies from last night!” You burst out loud.

Papyrus sat quietly to himself and sighed.  He furrowed his brow and shook his head.  “I told Sans those movies would be too scary!  I am sorry Sans does not understand how to handle a proper date.  I will be sure he reads my guide before he makes another grave mistake!”

You didn’t quite understand, but you were happy that Papyrus seemed to not question your statement.

**_Use your thoughts.  Be more careful._ **

_I’m sorry!  It’s still strange!  You sound like you’re right here..._

**_I am within you.  Furthermore, do you feel anything...strange?_ **

The way the voice asked sent a chill down your spine.  Did you feel strange?  You slowly closed your eyes as you thought to yourself.

Yes.  You did feel strange.  The odd heaviness at your core was something you didn’t know if you could get used to.  Even with noticing that strange feeling, you were sure that’s not what they meant.

_I...don’t think so.  I feel as normal as I could feel...I mean...I feel you?_

**_Does anything ELSE feel strange?_ **

_No…_

You didn’t like this.

_What’s going on...why-_

“Do not worry human!  Do not think ill of Sans.  Sans may not look like it, but he can be very serious when he puts his mind to it.”  Papyrus paused as you felt the car slow to a stop.  You slowly opened your eyes looked out the window to see that you were in front of the library.  Sans’ office was a lot closer than you thought it was.  “My brother cares for you, please give him a little time to express it properly.”

“Papyrus?  I...I don’t understand.  I’m not upset with Sans?”  You were taken aback, not sure why Papyrus would believe you were upset with Sans so suddenly.

“You...you have been tapping your foot for a while.  I assumed his movies from last night had upset you…”  Papyrus said as he motioned towards your leg.

You slowly looked down and sure enough, your right knee bounced up and down in a fast rhythm that could almost be mistaken for agitation if you were wearing a frown.  You quickly pressed your hand against your knee and held your leg down and laughed nervously.

“I was just distracted.  I’m sorry...just worried about my first day back is all…”  Part of you wasn’t lying at least, but now you understood what the voice was referring to.  You quickly unhooked your belt and slowly climbed out of the car.

Papyrus left the car and grabbed your bag from the back seat before you could walk around to his side of the car, “Do not worry, you will be just fine!  I am sure of it!” Papyrus wore his bright smile once again and you couldn’t help but return it.

“Yeah...I’ll be fine.”  You agreed as you reached for your bag.  Papyrus shook his head and grabbed your hand within his and look off in a march towards the library.  “Papyrus?”  You struggled to match his pace at first, but you quickly steadied yourself as you fell into step.

“I will stay here with you!  If you need anything I will be close by!” Papyrus was almost humming to himself and you lightly tugged your hand away.  He stopped to give you a confused look.  “Papyrus, you...you don’t have to.  Really!” You didn’t hesitate before you lean forward and wrapped your arm around him.  

Papyrus was really kind.  He was was worried about you, and you hated to possibly be a burden for him.  You’d be fine, or at least you thought you’d be.  This voice, whatever it was, made you nervous and uneasy, but you felt you could handle it.  If you needed to, you would ask for help.  You promised yourself that.

“I’ll be okay.  Sans is going to meet me after work, so don’t worry okay?”  Papyrus watched you as you let him go and offered him a gentle smile.  “Would you help me with my coat inside?”  His expression lit up as he nodded quickly and grabbed for your hand once again to lead you inside.

“Of course!  I trust you will be fine!  I know that my brother will keep to his word.  If you really don’t require my presence here I will head home and watch more of the human cooking shows to find someone to prepare for dinner when the two of you return home!”

You couldn’t help but chuckle and nod.  “Sounds wonderful.  I can’t wait to try what you end up making.”

Papyrus held the door open for you as you entered, and you sighed as you took in the familiar scent of the old books.  You didn’t have long to enjoy the peace it brought you before Papyrus bounded over to the desk to greet Ally.

“Greetings!  I have brought ____ in today!”  He leaned in close as Ally slowly stood up from her desk to address Papyrus and you properly.   Papyrus leaned in, and you couldn’t help but smile as he whispered a little too loudly where you could still make out what he was saying.  “____ is a little nervous about today, but I assure you she will be just fine!”

Ally smiled as she slowly walked around the desk and stopped as you approached.  You looked down at your feet suddenly as brought your hand up towards your collar and found the pendant that hung there.  You took a deep breath as you held it and forced yourself to look back up.  “I’m feeling better...sorry to have made you worry, and for burdening the other staff with my abs-.”  Ally didn’t give you time to finish before she wrapped her arms around your head and pulled you close.

“We’re glad to have you back,” Ally said softly as she held you there for a moment before she let you go.  “Today’s a slow day, take it easy.”

You nod as Papyrus approached you and helped you with the zipper on your coat.  You slipped your arm out of the sleeve easily and take your coat and your bag from Papyrus.  You said your goodbyes as you watched Papyrus bound out of the library before you walked over to your desk.

Everything was the way you had left it.  Your pens and pencils were in place, your papers and notes neatly stacked neatly behind the keyboard.  You placed your bag down against the side of the desk as you draped your coat over the back of the chair.  It was familiar, and you couldn’t believe that it had nearly been two weeks since you’ve stepped foot in here.  Out of the corner of your eye you could see your phone from your bag blink once.  You sat down and quickly pulled your phone from the bag to view the message.

_Keep your chin up.  It’s busy here at the lab, I’ll see you later this evening. -Sans_

You couldn’t help but smile as you leaned back in your chair.  You thought for a moment before you pressed your thumb to the reply button.  You tried to tap a message but your hand froze.  You felt uneasy and didn’t quite understand what was going on until your hand twitched, opening quickly and letting your phone drop to make a loud sound against the hard surface of your desk.  You yelped as you pushed your arm down.

_What...what’s going on?_

You looked back to your hand and you flexed your fingers slowly.  What ever was wrong before seemed to be gone and you let out a soft sigh.  This wasn’t any kind of spasm you’ve experienced before.  The fact that you didn’t feel your hand mood made it all more unsettling.

“Work on another project?” Ally’s sudden voice made you jump as it pulled you from your thoughts.

“Project?” You managed to ask as you quickly picked up your phone to place it back in your bag.

“Yes.  How many times must I tell you to take breaks to rest yourself?  You will seriously end up injuring your wrist, or even your hand if you aren’t careful.”  Ally scolded you lightly but she wore a smile.  “Once you are settled in, could you handle the book returns and go through the logs to see if there are any phone calls to be made?”

You quickly nodded as you pushed your bag against the side of your desk and stood back up.  “Yes!  I’ll be happy to do it.”  You quickly took off and you leaned your weight against the trolley to move it towards the many rows of shelves.  

You grabbed a book from the shelf and checked the barcode to find it’s section and place.  It was easy for you to quickly fall back into rhythm and you knew you would be able to clear your head as you cleared the trolley of the many books.

_Hey...may I ask you something…_

You paused as you found the row for the book you held in your hand and slowly walked down the silent wall of books.  When the voice did not answer you couldn’t help but sigh audibly and lightly clench your jaw.

_Hey...voice...whoever you are.  Answer me!_

**_Please do not address me as voice._ **

You clenched your hand tightly around the book and came to a full stop on your feet.  You quickly peered around, glad to see no one around you before you returned to your thoughts.

How am I supposed to address you?  You never told me what to call you!

The voice remained quiet for a moment.  You decided to give them a moment as you found the location for the book and carefully slid it into place.  When there still wasn’t a response you reached and held onto your pendant.  It calmed you a little and helped you clear your thoughts before you tried to reach out to them again.

_What do you do...when you’re not….when...you’re not speaking with me?  Why were you asking if I felt weird...what’s...going on?_

**_Gaster…._ **

_What?_

**_W.D. Gaster.  Call me Gaster._ **

At least that was something.  One question was answered at least.  

_Gaster?  That’s an interesting name._

**_Please do try to keep it to yourself.  That name should have been long forgotten._ **

There was a hint of sadness in their voice and you took a moment to look at the next book on the trolley before you attempted to push it

_Gaster...what do you...what are you doing?_

**_I’m testing my limits.  I will show you later this evening.  This will make doing the research necessary much easier.  I can assure you that no harm will come as a result of this process._ **

_Testing your limits?  Harm?  What...did you...did you have something to do with my leg and my hand?_  
Gaster was silent, and refused to respond further.  You felt a heaviness in the pit of your stomach.  You you didn’t like this.  You didn’t like this at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writers block....has been killing me all weekend. I sat down Wednesday, had a clear thought in my head that I wanted to cover in this chapter...and I just couldn't do it. I sat and wrote and rewrote and just was not happy with the chapter and how it was turning out. I'm sorry this chapter was late. I've been saying that a lot lately. 
> 
> I'm getting to the part in my story I envisioned since I released chapter one. We're getting closer, and there's a few things I need to go over before things just go down. We're going to slowly learn more about reader, read is going to learn more about Sans, and we're going to finally show off why Gaster is around. I eased up on Gaster a bit, I don't want him to be a jerk, and I have a clear view of how I want him and I just need to shut up and show you guys...
> 
> I'm going to pass out. I hammered out 3k words this morning...just...mentally drained at this point...goodnight all, thank you for reading. I'll try to get back on a proper schedule soon.


	20. Possession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My goodness, you guys sent me a lot of art this week <3 thank you so much!!!
> 
> makkurohoshi submitted:
> 
> http://kioribug.tumblr.com/post/141538845837/i-was-suppose-to-submit-this-to-you-months-ago-but  
> http://kioribug.tumblr.com/post/141424600442/ok-here-it-is-kiori-did-i-not-tell-you-guys-im  
> http://kioribug.tumblr.com/post/141424107752/heres-a-quick-doodle-of-reader-san-in-her-party
> 
> I was emailed this on tumblr, I'm not sure if they wanted their named shared, and I have it, but we have this one:
> 
> http://kioribug.tumblr.com/post/141475719217/ok-um-help-at-the-time-i-did-this-it-was-like-2-in
> 
> flanuh sent this in as well:
> 
> http://kioribug.tumblr.com/post/141525410642/i-told-myself-all-im-making-is-a-little-scribbly
> 
> You guys are amazing. I love them all so much! I can't tell you how happy you guys make me for reading my work and for submitting art to me.
> 
> Just as a warning, today's chapter is a really heavy feels one.

The sky had turned from grey to the blueish black it was now.  The grey clouds that hung in the sky above would not allow the moon to shine through. The streetlights outside flickered on slowly, one by one, as the night spread across the sky.  The familiar sounds of the busy traffic outside dull to your ears.  The normal murmurs of people passing in groups, and the agitated drivers that were quick to lay on their horns were normal.  They were background noise, and they easily went unnoticed after hearing them so often for so long.  The occasional siren would chime in the distance, but again, it was normal.  The library was located near downtown, not far from the University, and local high schools.

The warmth and glow of the library were comforting as you watched as small white flakes of snow softly float passed the windowsills.  The familiar sound of the front door heavily shutting broke the otherwise stillness of the building.  The last of the murmuring teens giggled as they left, returning the quiet library to itself.  The only noise now was the occasional tapping of the keys on the keyboard or the scratching of a pen against rough paper.

It was nearing six and you would be off from work soon.  You had collected your phone and was watching the screen, turning your wondering gaze away from the outside.  You wish you had grabbed your scarf and hat, but you forgot them since you were riding in Papyrus’ car all morning.  

Gaster had been extremely silent, and there were no further twitches you’ve noticed since earlier that afternoon.  His tone still bothered you.  The name, Gaster, had an extremely sad and lonely sound to it.

Several times you called out to him.

_Gaster?_

_Are you busy?  I have a question._

_Where were you...before you found me?_

Each time you were greeted with silence.  You’ve had time to consider your situation, and there was no use moping about it.  He was, after all, the one stuck inside of you.  You didn’t understand how that came to happen, and you assumed by his irritation as well that he was at a loss as well.  After all, you were nothing special.  You were just…

You quickly slapped your cheek, making more sound than actually trying to hurt yourself.

**_You should really give yourself more credit…_ **

You sighed softly as you gently rubbed your cheek and looked down at your phone once again.

_So is that what it will take to get you to speak with me?_

**_I was resting. Forgive me, I forget time does not stop on this plane._ **

_Was time stopped where you were before?_

Before Gaster could respond your head snapped up with the sound of the desk behind.  Something heavy had knocked into it, causing the pencils and smaller loose objects to bounce and clang.  You quickly turned to see Ally, leaning sideways as she corrected her balance.

“Ally?!”  You shot up from your seat so fast the chair you were sitting it knocked to the side.  You quickly rushed to her side and lightly held her upper arm to help her stand up.

“Oh, thank you.  I’m sorry, I was just a little dizzy.” She quickly apologized and offered you a tired smile.  You helped her to her seat and you stood by her side as she took a long slow breath.  “Please don’t worry yourself over me.  I am fine.”

She didn’t look fine.  She looked exhausted.  Her skin was pale, and there were heavy dark circles under her eyes.  “You look tired...are...are you okay?” You managed to stammer out as you stood awkwardly by her side.

“Everything will be fine now.  It has been a long few weeks and even longer nights.” Ally closed her eyes, her age finally showing as she leaned back to rest against her chair.  Her grey hairs, loose and fell in thin strands that outlined her face.  

Guilty.  You felt guilty.  There were two others that worked alongside Ally in the library, neither of the two put in any more effort than they needed to though.  They did their clerical work and gossiped with one another if their shifts overlapped.  They did their job, and nothing more.  You personally handled book returns, helping to log new books, and dusting.  Ally must have done your share of the work this entire time.

“Please...you should rest.” You said softly, your eyes slowly following to the floor.  “I can close up.”

Ally sat quietly before she chose to speak.  “You just returned.  I am fine, there is no need to push yourself.”

You shook your head and quickly grabbed your pendant and held it tightly within your hand.  You took a deep breath, calming yourself before speaking again, “I’m okay!  I could have returned sooner...I just...there’s just…”

Ally slowly stood up and gently placed her hand on your left shoulder.  “I’ll be fine, there’s no need to worry about-” Ally went to take a step closer to you, but her foot refused to lift as she tripped forward.  You were able to catch her and you quickly let go of your pendant to wrap your arm around her waist.  

“You’re not fine.  Please, you need a break.  The library isn’t busy this time of night.  I can handle it.  I don’t mind.”  

Ally sighed, she was just too tired to make her point.  She sighed as she let you help her back to her seat.  She looked over to her bag and pulled it towards her.  You stood at her side and watched her cautiously.  A moment passed of her digging through her bag before she pulled out a key ring.  “These are the keys to the doors.  Please lock them and bring the keys back tomorrow.  I have a spare set so don’t worry about coming in when we open.”  You smiled softly as she offered you the small keyring and gently held your hand.  “Thank you.”

**~ * ~**

**_I’ll come keep you company once I am done here. -sans_ **

You already messaged Papyrus and told him to not wait on food and you would find another story to bring home for him to read.  Ally had called a cab, and she ordered food for you to thank you for staying late.  It was close to seven before your food came and you stood at the main desk in the quiet library.  Another student dropped off some books and you logged them into the computer before you decided to put them away.  There was only two of them, and you didn’t need the trolley to carry them.

It was strange being alone in the library, or at least physically alone.  Gaster was still with you.  At one point in time, you would have welcomed the fact no one would be around, but now you felt uneasy.  What was it about completely innocent places that gave off such an eerie vibe when left alone.

**_I do not understand why you worry about such things…_ **

You nearly yelped at the sound of Gaster’s voice speaking suddenly.

“Please do not do that!” You bit your lower lip as you found the row you were looking for.

 **_YOU are the one who is scaring yourself._ ** There was a pause before he spoke again. **_Does your library contained books on quantum physics?_ **

You stopped as you placed both books on the empty space on the shelf before grabbing the one that you needed to put away.  “Quantum...Physics?  Why do you want to know about that?” You were sure there was probably a book or two, but you were never really interested in the field of science personally.

**_You’re speaking out loud again…_ **

“I’m the only one here...not like anyone can hear me.” You sigh.  Did it truly matter who you spoke to him in private?  You ignored it for now as you picked up the other book from the shelf and left the row of books you were currently standing in.  You wandered around and froze as the lights above you flickered.  Gaster was right, you were spooking yourself more than anything else.  You took comfort in knowing that at least Gaster was there to keep you company.

It wasn’t long before you found the home for the second book and slid it into place.  You gently trailed your fingers over the bindings of the books, reading a few of the titles before your fingers sought out the pendant wrapped around your neck.  You took a slow shaky breath and laughed how fooling you were being.

**_You’re scared._ **

You slowly opened your eyes and slowly pulled your hand away from the necklace around your neck.  Sure enough, you watched as your hand gently shook.

“It’s stupid...huh?” You could feel your voice cracking and you laughed lightly to yourself.  “It’s so stupid, you know?”  Gaster was silent as you watched your handshake and your eyes fell to the scars on your palm and up the bottom of your wrist.  “It’s scary...It’s scary at how used to being alone I was.  How I welcomed the silence and there to be no one around.”  You laughed as you gently pressed the back of your hand to your lips.  “I always thought that I could do it alone.  I always did EVERYTHING alone.  I...grew up alone….I took care of myself alone….and nobody understood,  and I thought that was okay because they didn’t need to.”

**_Do you not have people to talk with about these things?  Professionals?_ **

You laughed as you lightly leaned against the shelf next to you.  “ _Professionals_ were not interested.  They didn’t listen, they chose to ignore me.”  You gritted your teeth as the memory flooded back into your mind.  You sat painfully in your hospital bed as a man visited you daily.  He would repeat the same questions:

_How are you feeling today?_

_Why do you think I’m here?_

_Please tell me about yourself._

_Now let’s talk about your accident._

“Everyday...the same questions, over and over, and each day it was like he heard it for the first time.   _Everyday_ , I grew angrier.  He was supposed to help, but he didn’t even care.  He cared so little he forgot me, didn’t recognize me.  It was like I was a stranger.”

**_Everyday they would forget?_ **

You sighed in frustration and quickly walked out to the main aisle and looked at the signs hanging above, “Yes, _everyday_ .  It was just...easier to keep things to myself.  It did me no good talking to someone like _him_.”  You took in a slow breath as you stopped under the sign that designated you were in the section used for study materials.  “There's...there’s bound to be what you’re looking for here…” You mumbled as you took a few steps towards the shelves.  You rested your hand on the side of the shelf and scanned the bindings of the books before you cast your gaze down to the floor.  “I’m sorry...I don’t know why...I said all of that…”

**_Allow me…_ **

You didn’t understand what he meant at first.  It didn’t register until you rose your head and turned to look at another shelf that you realized what was happening.  You were moving, but, _you_ weren’t in control.

_Gaster?  What’s going on!_

Your mouth refused to move, but you could still shout your thoughts.

**“I am testing my limits.”**

That was...you voice...as his mixed together.  No, your voice came out vocally, but his voice was still within you.  

_How?  How are you doing this?  Why can’t I control my body?_

So many questions raced through your mind as you begun to panic.  You helplessly watched as Gaster passed by the shelves, no title in particular caught your attention, but you weren’t concerned with that.  

**“Do you feel any discomfort?”**

_What kind of question is that?  YES!  YES!  YES!  YES!  YES!  I’m moving and I’m not the one moving!_

**“Please calm down.”**

_NO!  How can I be calm, I’m...not in control!_

**“Do not worry.  I am just looking for what I need.  You will have yourself back soon enough.”**

_You...that’s not the point!  You hijacked me...without permission!  Why didn’t you tell me you could do this?_

**“I wasn’t sure I could.  I was testing earlier, and it seemed there was no harm except some feeling of disorientation.”**

You were angry, and you felt entirely helpless.  You watched helplessly as they pulled a book from the shelf and turned their back to lean against the wood.  They slowly flipped the book open and skimmed through the words.

 **“When people are faced with difficulty, they make one of two choices.  You either work through them, or you run.”** Gaster slowly flipped another page in the book, he must have been reading. **“You felt betrayed by someone who was meant to help you.  Instead of helping, they added to your burden, making your decision of handling your problems yourself much easier to make.”**

_You...you don’t know what you’re talking about!  You don’t...you don’t know me!  What does this have to do with what you’re doing right now?_

**“It has nothing to do with what I’m doing now, but I have your memories, I feel your emotions,  I know your fears, hopes, and dreams.  At this moment, I** **_do_ ** **know you.”** There was a pause in his speech before he spoke again.   **“Granted.  You are able to speak your mind with me because I do know these things.  The idiom that you may familiar with, the one that is to wear one’s heart on one’s sleeve.  I have taken residence within your soul, the embodiment of yourself as a whole.    You notice the heaviness, my presence, centered at your core.  As you experienced with Sans, you are experiencing with myself.”**

_What I experienced with Sans?_

**“Did you not open up with Sans after you shared your soul with him?”**

That’s right.  It was so easy to talk to Sans after he saw that memory.  He felt your pain, saw your fears, he saw something that you have had to cope with for so long alone.  He understood, and now, Gaster understands. 

_Souls...are strange...I don’t...get it...how it makes everything...how everything just becomes easier…_

**“When there are no walls, there is nothing to hide.  I give you no reason to believe that speaking with me will harm you, the same as when Sans marked your soul.”**

_Marked?_

Gaster was silent for a few moments before closing the book in your hand went to press it to the right side of your body.  In a strange motion, he let go of the book and you both watched as it fell to the floor.

**“Old habits do not disappear...you are...not the same as I was.  I’ll take care to remember that in the future.”**

_I’m...sorry…_

**“You apologize for strange things.  Apologizing for things that you cannot change is pointless.  It does no good and it loses it’s meaning quickly.”**  Gaster lowered himself to the floor slowly and picked up the book. **“My complaints and frustrations are my own, and you do not need to concern yourself with them.”**

_But if I was nor-_

**“You need to accept the fact that you are you.  Your opinion on yourself has only forced yourself to keep others at arm's length.  You formed opinions others held of you from your own view of yourself.  Thinking if you felt this way, others must think this way as well.  It’s a flawed logic, but it’s easy for you to fall into.”**  He rested the book against your knees and brushed away any dust it may have collected as it hit the ground.  He inspected the cover and pages for any tears, and only held the book to stand once he was sure there was no damages.   **“Don’t be a bother.  Keep your head low.  Don’t draw their attention.  I don’t need help.  These are things you’ve felt and still continue to feel.  The same with my old habits, your habits will not change overnight.  You will learn, and you will grow.”**

You listened silently to him speak.  He wasn’t wrong.

_I don’t understand why you would say this to me…_

**“I was only speaking my thoughts.  You can choose to ignore them.  Just understand that I will be frustrated with such illogical thinking.”**

You didn’t know how to respond to him.  His words held some truths to them, and you couldn’t help feeling there was something familiar in his tone.  This didn’t excuse what they were doing.  This was your body, not his to do with how he pleased.

 _Give it_ **_B̷̵̪̹̩͇̘̙͙ͨ̊̓͒᷁̿͛̕Ą͙̤͉᷂̍̄ͧ̕͠ͅC̸̥̜̙̞̘̬̲̐᷀̊᷇͘͞͠K̸̴͔̖̼͚̼͕̬̭͕̼͂̅᷅̌ͧ᷈̔̇̎͢͜͢͠_ ** _!_

The only way to describe it was a snap.  Something snapped inside of you and somehow you stumbled forward onto your knees.  The clatter of the book sliding across the floor echoed in your head as you forced your eyes shut.  You were busy, but you felt yourself in control once again.

**_Interesting...you’re stronger than I originally thought._ **

You took in quick, sharp breaths as you tried to wrap yourself around what Gaster was saying.

“What...what are you talking about?”  You slowly opened your eyes as you felt your vision settle.  The book that Gaster have pulled from the shelf wasn’t far from you, and you slowly crawled over to it.  You stumbled slightly and stopped.  It was terrifying.  There was nothing you could do to stop him from easily taking control of you.  Would there be a next time?  No...there was no question...of course, there would be a "next time".  You shook violent, a mix between anger and worry as you felt violated.  You didn’t notice the soft tapping in the background.

“I’ve lost everything dear to me...don’t...don’t take the only thing I have left that’s fine…”  You begged, pleaded with Gaster inside of you.  “I...I can’t bear to lose anything else.  I...have...I have a reason to live….someone to live for…” You closed your eyes and an image of Sans slowly crossed your mind.  “I’ve not known him long, and a lot these feelings are new...but he means so much to me...I...can’t lose any more…”

“____?”

Your breath caught in your chest as you felt a small hand lightly press against your shaking shoulder.  You didn’t turn to look, you knew who it was.

“When...when did you get-” You began.

“Hey, look at me.”

You slowly turned to face the familiar voice.  Your head hung low as you slowly sat up to turn, but before you could shift to turn to face him you felt his arms wrap around your middle and his forehead press against the back of your head.

“Sans…” You said softly as you leaned back against him.  He said he would stop by when he was done.  You just didn’t expected him later.  “How long have-”

“Long enough.”  Sans pulled away as he slowly helped you turn to face him.  His hand found and cupped your cheek, his thumb gently wiping away the new formed tears.  “Who were you talking to?”  His eyes scanned the aisle behind you.  His gaze fell upon the book on the ground a short distance away from you and his brow furrowed.  

You should tell him, Gaster was dangerous, and Sans would probably be able to help.  Your eyes met his and you opened your mouth to speak but couldn’t.  You couldn’t breathe, and you shut your eyes tightly.

**_Please...just trust me…_ **

You were scared, you didn’t want to trust Gaster, but deep down within yourself, you could feel his desperation, his plea.  Despite your better judgment, you decided to listen.

_Okay…_

You could feel your chest pull in air as you took a deep breath.  You opened your eyes and hesitated.  Sans sat in front of you, a worried look on his face as he waited for you to answer him.  You bit your lip, you didn’t want to lie to him, but...you were at a loss.

“No one…” You said softly.  You looked away from him and off to the side.  You couldn’t look him in the eyes.  “I...was talking to myself...I’m sorry…”

He didn’t believe you.  You could read it from his expression.  Sans watched you cautiously, unsure if he should push or not but the corner of his mouth twitched as he offered you a sad smile.

“Okay...here.  I saw your food at your desk.  It’s probably getting cold.”  He tried to stand but you wouldn’t let him.  Your arm wrapped around his neck and held onto him tightly.

“Please...don’t go...not yet…” You said softly as you buried your face into his shoulder.  Sans wasn’t wearing his hoodie, at least not today.  He was wearing the nice shirt and dress pants, his usual attire from when he would return from work.  You missed the stale scent his jacket had, but you still took comfort that he was right here.  He didn’t answer right away, but you felt his arms wrap around your back and one hand rest against the back of your head.  With gentle movements, he ran his fingers through your hair.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He said softly as you held onto him tighter.  He gently pressed his cheek onto the top of your head and nuzzled you lightly.

“Stay with me tonight?” Your voice shook as your fingers found the small spaces between his ribs.

“I won't go anywhere,” Sans repeated.

  
That was all you needed to hear to relax.  To calm your fears, the scare away the worries.  In his arms you were safe.  You felt safe.  All you could manage was a soft, heartfelt whisper, “Thank you…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! So it's almost Saturday, but I still made it on a Friday. Today's chapter is a bit shorter, but today was a heavy feelings chapter. Next chapter we're going to have a bit more romance between Sans and Reader (long time coming right?). 
> 
> You guys called it right away with what Gaster was up to, but again I wasn't trying to skirt around it. I feel I'm going in the write direction with Gaster...and I'm no longer too afraid to write for him...he's actually been a bit of fun to write. I have a lot planned, and I know I mentioned awhile ago I estimated we'd be ending around chapter 20...yeah...no...not the end. I will 100% tell you if the next update would be the end. Until then, expect more Patchwork. 
> 
> I'm going to pass out and start planning out chapter 21. Thank you all very much for reading and supporting this! I can never say it enough. You guys give me the passion, and I have so many ideas for future works.
> 
> Shameless tumblr plug for updates on Patchwork and random other things: http://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	21. The Calm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> makkurohoshi drew this comic for a scene that happened in chapter 2! I love it and could totally see this happen in my head as I wrote it <3 
> 
> http://kioribug.tumblr.com/post/141740351772/makkurohoshi-i-made-a-comic-out-of-kioribugs

The night air was cold and the snowflakes continued to fall silently around you.  A thin layer of snow dusted the sidewalks and you could see Sans’ footsteps lead off behind you.  The library was dark as you pulled the heavy doors closed behind you.  You reached into your pocket and fished out the keys Ally had loaned to you.  You gave the doors a firm tug to ensure they locked properly before safely storing the key away and turning to face Sans.  

You offered him a smile as you noticed he stopped to stand under the streetlight just down the library’s steps.  He was flipping through the book you had decided  to check out.  You held your breath as you stopped, not sure how to answer any questions he may have for you.   You didn’t have to worry for now at least.  When Sans noticed he held your attention, he smiled as he carefully placed the book back into your bag and hung it over his shoulder.

“Got everything?” Sans asked as he extended his hand to you.

You didn’t hesitate to take it, not this time.  You squeezed his hand lightly if only to remind yourself that he was there.  You took a deep breath and quickly descended the few steps to stand beside him.

“I have everything.  I don’t need to return the keys I have to Ally until tomorrow.”  You brushed against him as he pulled his hand away to grip the shoulder strap on your bag.  “I can take my bag if it’s heavy, I’m used to it.” You offered but he only chuckled.

“I got it.  Ready to head home?”

There weren’t many people out walking.  The snow had been falling for a while, and there were fewer cars driving down the streets.  Most of the noise could be heard coming from the direction of the main street.  Your hand suddenly felt the cold as he slipped his away from yours.  You wanted to be close to him, you needed to be. breathed a sigh of relief as you shook your head.  

“The weather is nice.  If you don’t mind can we stay out for a little longer?  If you would rather we go home instead that is-”  You started to ramble as you began to second guess your suggestion.  Your worries were cast aside as you heard Sans familiar laugh.

“ _Chill_.  Tonight seems alright for a walk.” His grin never faltered as he glanced up at you.  You felt a mild frustration from deep within you but ignored it.  You just wanted to spend time with Sans.

The two of you walked side by side as you took slow strides towards the park.  The small bench was occupied tonight with a young couple.  You blushed and turned away as the girl giggled.  The boy was whispering things to her, and both wore gentle smiles.  They looked happy, and you couldn’t bring yourself to admit you were-

**_Jealous?_ **

_I don’t want to hear anything from you!_

Gaster was the last person you wanted to hear from right now.  You were still angry with him.  He voice unsettled you and you still felt violated.  Your frustration only grew when you mulled over what he said.

_Am I jealous?_

It would make sense, wouldn’t it?  You quieted your thoughts as you watched the two stand from the bench.  Their hands entwined with one another as the two continued their idle chatting and minded themselves as they left the park.

Yeah, maybe you were a bit jealous of how close they were being.  You turned towards Sans, who was watching you with a grin as he glanced at you, and the couple you were gazing at.

“I never thought you’d be the type to stop and stare.” His teasing caught you off guard and you quickly tried to correct his line of thinking.

“No-no-no-no!”  You shook your head and quickly caught up to him and took a few steps passed him.  His smile never left as you passed by him to continue down the sidewalk.

You definitely weren’t staring.

Probably not…

Not intentionally….

You felt a slight sense of amusement within you, and it only further aggravated you.  You lightly shook your head as you pushed any thoughts of Gaster from your head.  You wanted to focus on your time with Sans now.  You stopped after a few steps and took in the sights around you.

The park you were in was small and connected two of the city’s blocks together.  There were a few cafe shops and grocery stores for the local residents to shop at.  Mostly during the day the park would be filled with children playing and others walking their dogs.  At this time of night, though, only a few people were out.  Approaching you was yet another couple, another man a woman holding hands just chatting among themselves.  You watch them pass and caught sight of another grin from Sans.

You huffed and puffed your cheeks slightly and looked away.  Again, you weren’t staring.  Gaster’s amusement was soon turning to frustration and you only pushed the thoughts of him away again.  You wanted to forget about him.  Forget about what happened at the library, but that wasn’t going to be easy.  You were frustrated, and you rolled the thought around in your head about just telling Sans about your uninvited guest.  Between that and seeing the constant public displays of affection around you just irritated you.  Was it so hard for you just to hold his hand?  It was that easy right?  You just had to stop and let Sans catch up to you and just grab his hand, but part of you couldn’t look at his teasing grin.

“Having eyes for more than just me?” Sans’ had caught up and before you could protest, you felt him slip his bony fingers between yours.

You quickly looked over to him to see his grin still there, but a light shade of blue had tinted his cheekbones.  You ignored the frustration and your own irritation.  The couples from before already forgotten.  All that you could think of was how warm his hand felt.  Something so small, almost silly, calmed your thoughts and made everything else around you no longer mattered.  

You lightly chewed on your tongue as you squeezed his hand in response.  You could think of a thousand things to say, but you were too embarrassed to say them directly.

_Only for you._

You could feel yourself blushing, and you were probably red from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.  You could at least blame it on the cold today.  You gently squeezed his hand and turned your head to offer him a gentle smile, only to see a sad expression on his face as he stared straight along the path ahead of you.  It appeared that he lost in thought.

“Sans?” You asked quietly as you gently squeezed his hand and slowly came to a stop.  He didn’t notice at first but quickly snapped his attention back to you.  His concerned expression changed to offer a smile and chuckled softly.

“Sorry babe was just thinking of something.” He apologized quickly as he adjusted your bag on his shoulder once again.

“Babe?” The pet name took you by surprise, but you couldn’t help but smile.

His eyes widened for a second before his cheeks flushed a bright shade of blue and he quickly averted his eyes.  “Sorry.  That’s okay, right?  You don’t want me calling you a kid anymore.”

You couldn’t help as your smile grew as you quickly let go of his hand and approached him.  You gently fiddled with the collar of his dress shirt.  His frame looked so small when he wasn’t wearing his jacket.  You couldn’t help but lean forward and gently kiss the top of his head.

“It’s just fine.” You said as your hand found his again and you gently traced his thumb with yours.

“Heh…” He laughed lightly as he leaned back to look up at you.  You couldn't help but look away.  Maybe you were too forward.

“Hey,” Sans said softly as you heard your bag drop to your feet.  You quickly turned back to ask what happened but was taken by surprise as his other hand quickly cupped your chin and pulled you in.  

It took you a moment to realize that Sans has pulled your lips down to meet his mouth, and you tensed for a moment before you felt the warm spark of his magic.  All his kisses had been gentle with you, but this time was different.  This time, you felt the warmth of his magic course through you.  It was electrifying and you found your arm slowly wrapping around his back.

Sans pulled away slightly and pressed his forehead to yours and hummed softly.  You couldn’t help but notice the cool air around you as his magic slowly dissipated.  You were about to speak when the familiar chime of your phone broke the silence.  You didn’t want to let it go but Sans pulled away and picked your bag back up from his feet.  He brushed the snow off and reached in to grab your phone and hand it to you.  You pouted as you looked at your phone’s caller ID and sighed as you answered it.

“Hello?” Your tone held a bit of agitation, but you corrected yourself quickly.  “H-how are you Undyne?”

“WHY DIDN’T YOU CALL ME!” Undyne’s voice could be heard yelling through the phone as you pulled it quickly away from your ear.  You put the phone back to your ear once she quieted down, confused by her initial question.

“What do you mean?  Call you about what?” You tucked the phone between your chin and shoulder as you freed your hand to straighten your coat.  The chill of the night had started to get to you, and a felt yourself shiver slightly.

“You know exactly what I mean, nerd!  You and Sans!  Alphys told me when she got home!  I told you there was nothing to worry about at the party!”  She lowered her voice as you glanced over towards Sans.  He offered you a shrug and a wide smile as he pulled the strap back over his shoulder and shoved his hands into his pockets.  He took a few steps away from you which only made you pout further.  

“I’m sorry Undyne!” You apologized quickly, “Can...can I call you back later?   _Please?_ ”  You hope that she would understand whatever subtone you were trying to convey.

Undyne was quiet for a moment before you heard a low laugh from her, “Oh?  Did I interrupt something?”  Your breath caught in your throat as you let out a frustrated whine.  This earned you another laugh from Undyne.  “Alright, I get it.  Enjoy your time with your _bone buddy!_ ”

You quickly hung up the phone on her cackling, a new shade of red flushed your cheeks as you tightly tripped your phone.  Sans’ attention was elsewhere and you were happy about that for now.  You quickly shoved the phone into your pocket and brought your fingers back up to gently blow warm air on them.  You glanced back up to notice Sans had turned to check on you.  You smiled as you approached him.

“Cold?” He asked as he gently grabbed your hand and pressed it against his mouth.  You couldn’t help but giggle as you felt his magic gently prick the top of your skin.

“A bit, could we head home?  It’s a bit colder than I thought it would be.” You smiled as you brought your forehead down to gently press to his.  You sighed happily, content with this closeness.

“Sure, up for a shortcut?” Sans quickly snaked his arm around your waist and pulled you in close.  All he needed was your permission and he’d have the two of you home quickly.

You squeezed his hand tightly, remembering the last time you had gone through one of his doors.  A terrible headache and the thought occurred to you that may have been when Gaster joined with you.

**_It is worth a try.  I may be able to separate once we are inside._ **

You didn’t want to hear from him, but he was right.  Maybe he was right, though.  You needed to try.  If he could leave, that means he couldn’t take control of you again.  You took a deep breath and nodded.

“Yeah, a shortcut sounds fine.”

Sans nodded as he adjusted his hold on you and pulled his hand away from yours.  “Hold on tight and count to ten.” He said softly as he held out his hand and focused his magic.  

You instinctively closed your eyes and started to count backward from ten.  You felt the familiar sense of falling and tightly gripped onto Sans shirt.  You felt his arm tighten around you and a smile tugged at the corners of your mouth.

**_Open your eyes._ **

You don’t know why you listened, but you slowly opened your eyes and took a sharp breath.  You could almost feel your blood run cold as your vision failed to focus on any one thing.  You are surrounded by a vast darkness.  It was all consuming, endless, and within in there were hundreds of creatures you’ve never seen before.  All with glowing eyes as they watched you pass by.  What mainly distracted you was what was passed the creatures.  There were hundreds if not thousands of images and movie reels playing all simultaneously.  Some of the same people, others had different.  As you turned your head you saw more, and you finally forced yourself to close your eyes.  There was too much, far too much going on to make any sense of it.  You only felt relief once you feet was firmly on the ground again.

“You okay, babe?” Sans voice brought you out of your thoughts and you could feel his grip on you loosen as he guided you to what you felt as your couch.  

You realized quickly that you were shaking.  You slowly opened your eyes and looked up at Sans who stood over you, clearly concerned about you.  It took you another moment to realize just how tightly your fingers were digging into his shoulder and quickly let him go.

“S-sorry...I...I didn’t hurt you did I?” You asked as you watched the tips of your hand shake.

“You saw it huh?” Sans sighed as he gently took a hold of your hand and took a seat beside you.  “It’s intimidating, there’s a lot of nothing.  Just feels like it swallows you whole.”

“There...there was more...what...what were those...things?” You recalled the white glowing eyes and shook your head.  Those were things you would see in nightmares alone.

“You saw those too?  They’re...a little difficult to explain.  They just exist.”  Sans did his best to explain, but he seemed to be failing to find the right words to use.  

You shook your head as you took in a slow breath, recalling the thousands of images.  “What about...what about everything else...I...I don’t understand…”

“Everything else?” Sans paused as he gently squeezed your hand, “There’s a lot of nothing there.”

**_He can’t see what we see._ **

Gaster’s voice within yourself startled you and you quickly jerked your hand away from Sans.  You immediately grabbed the zipper of your coat and gently pulled on it to distract yourself.

_Are you still here?_

There was a momentary silence from Gaster before your attention was brought back to Sans.

**_You will be happy to know that if we were allowed a longer stay within that plane that I could possibly separate from you with no harm._ **

“Are you okay?  I’m sorry you had to see that...it’s...it’s not something I’d like for you to get used to seeing.”  Sans saw you pulling at the zipper of your coat and attempted to try and help you with your coat.

**_You seem to create more questions than answers as well._ **

“No!  No...I’m fine.” You said quickly as you slowly turned away.  “I’m fine.  I...it was just overwhelming…” You were able to pull the zipper down and shrug off your coat.  You hadn’t noticed until now, but you were sitting in your living room in the dark.  Wasn’t Papyrus going to prepare a dinner for you and Sans when you got home?  “Where’s Papyrus?”  You chose to ignore Gaster.  You would find time to talk with him later when you weren’t still upset with him.

Sans slowly stood up and walked passed you to turn on the living room lights.  They flickered on without any trouble.  You placed your coat on the cushion behind you and turned to look towards the kitchen.  There were two plates on the table wrapped in plastic and a small card leaning up against it.

“What does it say?” You asked as you motioned towards the small piece of paper.  Sans approached it and picked it up to read.  He glanced over the plates on the table, noticing more spaghetti and what looked to be what was leftovers from breakfast mixed in.  He placed the note back on the table and approached the back of the couch.

He leaned down and wrapped his arms around your neck and shrugged lightly, “Looks like Paps left to visit Undyne.”  His arm gently rested at your side as he gently nuzzled the side of your cheek with his.  “You’re okay?”

You nodded.  You had some time to sit and let the sight of what ever that was to set in.  Despite the scary creatures and strange images, it felt, familiar.  Maybe it was because you’ve passed through it with Sans before, mostly unharmed.  You remembered what you believed Gaster looked like.  He didn’t look like anything else from their, but he was familiar with it.  He mentioned something about his reach being limited.  What connection did Gaster have with that place?

You were pulled from your thoughts when you felt Sans gently tug on your pendant.  You leaned into Sans and smiled as he rolled the small heart between his thumb and index finger.  He noticed he had your attention and gently let it go.  “I never thought you would like the pendant as much as you do.  I figured you would have liked something else.”

“Of course, I like it!  This was from you.  You thought I’d like it right?”  Sans smiled and nodded as he put a little more of his weight on the back of the couch.  You chuckled as you pulled away, pulling him along with you.  He finally let you go before standing up again.  “It’s special to me.” You admitted with a quiet yawn.  You were exhausted.  The lack of sleep and the stress you’ve dealt with Gaster has not mixed well.

**_Why do you find this pendant so special?_ **

Gaster’s tone was different.  Why did he want to know?

_It’s special because it was a gift from Sans?_

**_That’s not what I meant.  What makes this gift from Sans special?_ **

Again, this question felt off, like there was more to what he was asking.

_It represents a soul...his soul._

**_Is that what you thought when he gave it to you?_ **

_Yes...it reminded me of his soul._

**_When did you see Sans’ soul?_ **

_When did I..see his...soul..._

The thought finally sunk it.  You hadn’t seen Sans’ soul until after Christmas.  It was a few days after when he had show you his soul at your request.  Something was off, and you held your breath as you looked up towards Sans, who only offered you a smile.  His smile quickly faded as he seemed to be looking through you.  You covered your chest, the spot where your soul would manifest.  

“Hey, what’s been on your mind?  You’ve been out of it all evening.  What’s been bothering you?” He hadn’t pushed you about what had happened earlier, but you knew he would eventually ask.

“I…”  You felt your chest tighten, Gaster ever reminding you he was always listening.  “I haven’t been sleeping well.”  You admit.  That was true, not a lie.  “I’ve been having terrible nightmares when trying to sleep...I...I’m just afraid to sleep right now.” You said softly.

Sans nodded as he gently grabbed your hand and walked around the side of the couch to stand in front of you.  “Want to talk about them?  The nightmares?  I’m all ears...well…” A small grin crawled across his face and you rolled your eyes.

“No..I don’t really want to remember them…” You said softly.  You closed your eyes and shuddered.  You couldn’t even make sense of the dreams to tell him.  How could you tell him you watch your friends, his brother, die every time you close your eyes to fall asleep recently?  The soundless scenes, the creepy child with the ghastly smile.  You didn’t want to see them again, let alone remember them.  “Not really at least…” You said quietly.

Sans pulled you to your feet and gently wrapped his free arm around your waist and started to direct you down the hall.  “How about writing about them in a journal?  Maybe if you keep a diary of sorts.  Get it out of your head in a way?”

“Has that helped you with your nightmares?” You asked, recalling his most recent episode.

Sans nervously laughed and looked away, “Mine are a bit different.  Writing about them won't get rid of them…”

Somewhere from within you, you felt a slight amusement.  You sighed and ignored Gaster.  What Sans had said did leave you with little confidence it would help you, though.  “I’m not much of a writer, though...I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”

“Maybe try drawing a scene?  I haven’t seen you work on anything in awhile.  Could use this to practice or something.  If you don’t want to show the drawings to anyone you don’t have to.”

That could work.  If you didn’t have to show anyone afterward, you could feel confident enough in drawing at least.  “I’ll try that if I have another nightmare.” You said as you tried to stifle a yawn.  You didn’t even realize when you were in front of your bedroom door.

“Head to bed babe.  Get some sleep.” Sans said quietly as he let go of your waist and hand.  “We can talk more before I head to work tomorrow.”  Sans started to turn towards his door when you caught his hand in yours.

“Sans…” You said quietly, a faint tint of pink covering your cheeks.  “Would you...stay with me tonight?”  The volume of your voice lowering with every word you spoke.

Sans couldn’t help but smile, “You sure that’s alright?”

You didn’t have to think twice before you gave him a nod.  You didn’t want to be alone.  You didn’t want to be left alone with Gaster, and you wanted him to be there in case you had another nightmare.

“Alright, let me get changed.  Want to stay in my room or-”

“Mine is fine...the bed is bigger...you need a new mattress…” You chuckled softly.  Sans only laughed before he turned to enter his room.  

You turned away and hurried into your own room, finding the tank top and a pair of flannel PJ pants.  You kept yourself hidden away from the mirror’s view.  You scanned your room and quickly threw any clothes into the hamper before you approached your bedroom door.  You took a slow, deep breath as you opened it and the light shade of pink that covered your cheeks quickly darkened in hue.

Sans hadn’t closed his door, and you wouldn’t help but stand and stare, no, _admire_ him as he pulled a black t-shirt over his head.  You could glimpse the ivory color and shape of his ribs and could see his spine extend to connect to his pelvis.  He really did look like a skeleton.  Once his shirt was pulled over his head he turned and spotted you staring from your doorway.  His grin widened as he folded his arms over his chest.

“Can’t keep your eyes to yourself huh?” Sans chuckled and you looked away.

“I..you didn’t close your bedroom door.” You said as you felt your voice’s pitch raise a bit.  When you looked back he had taken a few steps and was leaning against his door frame.  His smile wide as you caught him watching you.  “You sure this is okay?”  

You nod once again, “We’re slept in the same bed and place before...I trust you…”  You were a little nervous, but you had slept on the couch with him at Toriels at Christmas, and then again you slept in his bed next to him before New Years.  This wasn’t even counting when you were sick.  You trusted Sans.  Just because the two of you were dating now, doesn’t mean you couldn’t share the same bed together.  It wasn’t like you were…You couldn’t finish that line of thinking before you blushed and quickly turned away from Sans.

“I get it,” Sans said gently as he took a few steps into your bedroom.  

You smiled as you led the way to your bed.  You took a seat and gently squeezed his hand.  Sans approached you and pulled his hand out of yours to gently cup your face.  “You can talk to me.  Don’t shut me out.”

You pressed your hand against his and leaned into his touch.  “Tonight I just want to enjoy spending time with you…”

The pupils in Sans’ eyes slowly faded as he his left eye was enveloped in the bright blue light of his magic.  The door to your room slowly closed as he pulled his other hand away and the lights above flickered off.  The room was enveloped in the glow of his magic as he lightly pressed and left a trail of kisses from your forehead down to your chin.  You loved how gentle he was, how every little thing he did made your heart swell.  Tonight would be okay.  You would be able to sleep with no worries as long as Sans was with you.

  
You pulled your hand away from Sans and crawled backward onto the bed.  Sans followed as he pulled the covers around the two of you.  As he settled beside you on the bed the magic in his eye dissipated, leaving the two of you surrounded by the quiet darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter proved to be a bit difficult to get out. I intended to have this chapter to be out on the 1st, but I could not focus to finish the last few paragraphs. It didn't help that since I was typing on my phone, and when my power/battery died on it I lost half of what I worked on because I didn't have my documents synced. Part of today's chapter was cut out, but it would have upset the tone I was trying to go for with this chapter. I hope you all enjoy~
> 
> Shameless tumblr plug for updates: http://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	22. The Crack in the Mirror

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This week we received another drawing of Reader and a Submission of a Pendant that is very similar to the one I'd envisioned Sans giving Reader for Christmas~
> 
> Pendant submitted by thats-some-metta-madness  
> http://kioribug.tumblr.com/post/142184669412/so-this-is-the-pendant-that-i-have-on-my-necklace
> 
> Reader Holding the Heart/And Reader submitted by thats-some-metta-madness  
> http://kioribug.tumblr.com/post/142274231517/hello-friend-so-this-is-my-first-version-of-the
> 
> This Reader is so adorable <3 I love the things you guys submit.

The digital clock face read a few minutes past twelve.  The house was silent except for the soft snores that escaped the small skeleton lying on the other half of the large bed in your room.  It took a moment to unravel yourself from his limbs and you sat silently, staring into the lessening darkness in the room.  

There was a soft glow coming from somewhere that you couldn’t discern.  It didn’t matter though as you carefully got out of bed.  You felt wobbly on your feet, but after a few seconds to adjust you were able to slowly walk towards the door.  You feet tripped over the cover that was hanging off the side of the bed which caused a small yelp to escape your lips.

A loud startled snore came from behind you as you froze.  Slowly turning the small skeleton rolled over on the bed and mumbled something before falling back into a deep slumber.  A soft, frustrated sigh escaped your lips as you continued to quietly approach the door.   

Your hand gently grabbed the doorknob, finally feeling the strength of your muscles waking up after finally just falling asleep.  You froze as you turned your head towards the mirror, not even surprised when you discovered the small shade of light that was illuminating the room was coming from you.  A deep purple glow eclipsed the pupil and iris.  The color of your iris refusing to allow the magic to seep through.

“ _Interesting…_ ” A voice that sounded like your own, but wasn’t.

Gaster had waited until you had fallen asleep before he had taken free reign of your body once again.  It was easier earlier when you were awake when you didn’t resist.  Ever since you regained control of yourself, he found it hard to take control once again.  You had somehow used his magic against _him._ You seal his magic away somehow.  

You fascinated him, the mystery, the innate magic that slept inside you.  What was keeping it locked away was slowly cracking, and if he could push you more he could finally understand it, understand a part of you that didn’t make sense to him.

The door quietly shut behind him as he slowly walked through the dark house.  The murmur of cars and people in the distance was the only noise that broke the silence.  Gaster wanted time to himself, something he hadn’t had in awhile.  The fact that he felt time pass was an experience he hadn’t felt in a long time.

Gaster found himself standing in the middle of the living room shortly after pulling himself away from his thoughts.  Unlike you, he could ponder, run ideas through his head without you being the wiser.  Despite how hard he tried to hide himself away, his soul would reveal a little of himself to you.  

He had to be more careful.  He couldn’t let you divulge to anyone he was there.  At one point in time, his existence flowed through your time, but an unfortunate accident put an end to that.  His work, left behind, his creations, still exist.

Gaster looked around the room, searching for the book you had checked out for him.  Despite your anger towards him, he could feel almost a silent understanding.  He felt a little guilty for what he had done, he never meant to use as much of his magic as he did to reframe you from revealing himself to Sans.  He was afraid, and he lost control of all logical senses.

He found your bag by the door and approached it.  He still wasn’t completely used to your body.  You felt off balance, your vision was disorientating.  As he knelt down, he stumbled and fell against the floor.  Thrown off balance once again.  He grumbled to himself and he could see the magic from his eye flicker with intensity.  He needed to turn on a light.  Until he was able to control his magic in your body, he couldn’t let anyone find you like this.  He needed to practice, and he knew you would be against the idea.

He collected the book from your bag and slowly pushed himself off the floor.  A task that was so simple proved to take him a bit longer than he would have liked.  After settling himself on his two feet, he looked around the room and found the light switch for the living room.  The lights flickered on above the room as he went to take a seat on the couch.  

He flipped open the book and began skimming the pages once again.  The book itself wasn’t going to be helpful for his current situation.  He knew, he knew that if he could return to that place at any time he passed through it.  He was still too far interested in you.  Why you were different?  Why did you, like him, lacked an internal clock?

A noise from the front door drew his attention promptly.  The sound of a key clicking the lock caused him to close the book he was reading quickly and set it down on the couch beside him.  He was more interested in the fact as to who would be entering this house at this hour.  He didn't’ need to wait long before he found out.  He quickly held the palm of his hand up to reflect the soft glow of his magic.  He needed to contain it.  He closed the eye and focused intently on it.

The door behind him slowly swung open before the intruder spoke.  “Human?  I did not expect you would be awake.”

Gaster didn’t need to look to know who was standing behind him.  He slowly opened his eye, a wave of relief overcame him as he was able to pull his magic back.  He needed to calm himself first.  He never considered the fact that Papyrus wasn’t home.  He figured he would have to worry more about Sans instead of the youngest brother.

“Human?  Are you feeling alright?” Papyrus had taken a few steps and was standing behind you.  His hand, cold from behind outside, gently pressed against your left shoulder.  Gaster slowly turned to look at him, studying his expression first.  Gaster needed to respond.  He needed to have Papyrus leave you alone before you woke up.

He could feel your presence within him.  You were having another “nightmare”.  He couldn’t wake you up to force you to face Papyrus.  That wasn’t an option.  He would have to deal with him.  What would you say at a time like this?

“I found myself unable to sleep…” Gaster said as quietly as he could.

Papyrus watched you for a moment before he smiles and turned to walk over to the kitchen.  “Oh, I am sure you just had a busy day!  I will keep you company until you are ready to sleep!”

Gaster turned away to furrow your brow.  All he wanted to do was read the book quietly by himself, and maybe practice a small bit of magic.

_What are you doing?!_

**~ * ~**

It was sickening just how you were getting used to the terrible scenes of genocide unfolded before you.  You had stopped asking the questions that remained unanswered.  It still bothered you as you just stood and watched.  You wanted to help, but you felt an overwhelming sense of defeat.  You hated the sense of helpless you felt.  

Today’s nightmare was slightly different than previous ones.  You’ve seen Mettaton on the television before.  You’ve had no connection with him personally.  Alphys had told you she created Mettaton while they lived in Underground, but he had been too busy with shows and you didn’t want to bother him with a request to meet him.

Even still, you watched the ever-shifting scenes between the small child performing on stage one minute, then the next leaving him a pile of scrap on the floor.  The child, holding firmly to their dusty knife, continued on their way, not even looking back.  You could tell you were turning, looking away from the site where Mettaton just stood.  Another life was wasted.

The static flashed.  You slowly paced a long corridor.  Beautiful stained glass windows lined the windows.  Dark shadows were casted by the tall pillars that eloquently lined the checkered floor.  Even without sound, you could feel a hum, vibrations from somewhere beyond this room.  The light felt unnatural.  Something, somewhere, was emitting it, but you couldn’t see it’s source.  You didn’t have long to look before you slowly turned back to look down the hall you had just passed through.  

Your heart froze.

The child, the source of this senseless genocide, stood at a distance.  This time, their wicked smile, their piercing red eyes staring at you, through you.  Finally, they were paying attention to _you_.  The questions you gave up asking, maybe you could finally get the answers you were looking for.

_Why?  Why do this?_

_What’s going on?_

_Why kill Papyrus? Undyne?  Mettaton, ALL the monsters?_

_You were happy!  You were friends, right?_

_I don’t understand why you’re doing this!  Tell me!_

Could they even hear you?  It didn’t look like it.  They appeared to laugh and slowly raised the knife close to their neck.  It was inches away as they drew a line, showcasing their intent to kill.  

No...there wasn’t any sense to all of this.  These senseless nightmares haunted you.  Why?  Why was your dreams of the hospital, the fire, your family, all replaced by these terrible scenes?  It didn’t matter though, not now.  You were angry, angry at what ever this demon was.  They looked like a child...but no child could do this, be this cruel.

The anger you held was short lived as you two large shadows over took you.  Out of the corner of your eyes you could see giant, white fangs slowly creep forward.  A gentle light started to emit from their mouth before opening wide.  The blinding light that shot out of their open mouths lasted only a moment. You looked ahead to see scorched titles and a cracked wall as the heads circled the child.  

They dodged the beams of light effortlessly.  The skulls quickly returned to your sides.  You’ve seen them some place before…Images of that place flashed into recent memory.

_They’re from...?_

You didn’t have long to question this as another familiar sight caught your attention.  A familiar arm rose from your right.  The child before you soul came into focus and the bright red switched to a deep blue.  The ivory hand, encompassed by a blue glow of magic quickly flicked right, sending the child crashing into the pillar.

_Sans?!_

There was no doubt about it.  That was San’s magic, that was his arm.  We were watching this from San’s point of view.

_Why?_

You didn’t have time to ponder that question as the child dashed forward, their knife slicing quickly through the air as you...Sans dodged out of the way.  You watched the back and forth dance the two were involved in.  Several times the bones that Sans had conjured skewered the child, but it seemed useless.  The child would appear behind and the dance would begin again.  You felt helpless as Sans was slowly running out of energy.

_No...no no no NO NONONONONO!_

You cried out as you felt the overpowering magic that surrounded him dissipate.  The skulls disappeared into nothingness, and the child in front of him frozen in a jail in front of him.  His vision blurred and darkened.  His eyes slowly closed and you could feel his energy leaving him.

_SANS!  WAKE UP!_

You cried out.  You were helpless.  You could only watch in horror.  The sound of scraping caught your attention, and you could feel your heart plummet to your stomach.

_SANS!  WAKE UP!  PLEASE!_

A moment later Sans’ eyes snapped open and he dodged to the right.  You felt a bit relieved as he dodged the strike, but your relief quickly changed to horror.  The child, slashed a second time, they hadn’t done this before, and Sans was too tired to attempt to dodge.

Blood splattered across the floor as Sans fell to the floor.

_Noo!_

You cried out as his vision slowly faded.  He looked to his hand and then slowly stood up.  The child’s hellish grin watched as Sans slowly passed him, walking towards where he and the child had come from.  The sound of static rang throughout your head as the scene before you faded to black.

**~ * ~**

You felt a tightness in your chest as you slowly began to focus on the blackness that was around you.  You wanted to open your eyes, but you couldn’t.

“I did not expect you would be awake.”

The voice sounded familiar, and you slowly opened your eye.  You sat confused, wondering why the living room came into focus and your hand slowly move away from your eye.  This couldn’t be a dream.

“Human?  Are you feeling alright?”  Papyrus’ was closer than before.  You felt his hand gently touch your shoulder as his red glove slowly came into view.  It was cold, he must have just come in from outside.

What time was it?  From what you could tell the overhead light was on, and the sun hadn’t come up yet.  You felt exhausted still, but part of that could be from the lack of uninterrupted sleep.

“I found myself unable to sleep…” Hearing the sound of your own voice irritated you.  

“Oh, I am sure you just had a busy day!  I will keep you company until you are ready to sleep!”  You could feel Gaster’s frustration with Papyrus’ answer.  You were able to regain control once, you had to figure out how to do it again.

_What are you doing?_

Gaster tried his best not to react to your question, but he couldn’t help but to let out a short frustrated sigh.  Timings were just not his thing tonight it seemed.  

“You do not need to worry Papyrus.”  Gaster’s tone was curt.  He slowly stood up and quickly grabbed the your coat that was sitting beside him on the couch.  He fumbled with it as he tried to pull it on.  He finally managed to pull it over his head before he approached your bag and lifted it to rest on his shoulder.

“Wait!  What are you doing this time of night?”  Papyrus quickly approached you, ready to follow you outside.

“Papyrus, if Sans wakes up someone needs to be here to tell him I’ve just gone for a walk.” Gaster didn’t turn to look back at Papyrus before opening the door and quickly leaving.  He descended the steps quickly before turning the corner on the steps towards the busier districts passed the pharmacy a few blocks down.

_WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR!_

Gaster waited until he was a little ways away from the house.  When he did not hear Papyrus follow he let out a soft sigh.

**_There is no need to think so loudly.  I can hear you perfectly fine._ **

_Don’t give me that!  You’ve taken my body AGAIN and what’s worse you were rude to Papyrus!_

**_He will be fine.  You and Sans baby him far too much._ **

You could feel his aggravation grow as continue he quickened his pace along the sidewalk.  The pharmacy was just up ahead after crossing at the intersection and after that along the next block was a small park.

_Being nice isn’t babying him!_

Your nightmare quickly flashed back to recent memory and Gaster slowed their pace.

**_What’s wrong?_ **

You wished you could be annoyed at the fact that he noticed your shift it mood, but it was strange to say you were starting to get used to it.  You could feel the knot twisting in your stomach as you tried to push the nightmare out of your head.

_Can we...please go back home?  I need to make sure Sans is alright…_

**_Sans is perfectly fine._ **

_Please!  I need to see him._

Gaster paused as he approached the park.  Not many people were around, and there was an empty bench within view and he slowly turned to approach it.

**_He is asleep in your bed.  I take it you saw something new today?_ **

_I had another nightmare…_

Gaster sighed softly as he took a seat on the bench and set the bag down at your side.

**_It’s funny you still consider them dreams._ **

You were about to retort to his comment when you felt a gentle push from within you.  Before you could comprehend what had happened you felt as if you were whole again.  

“I’m...in control?” You spoke softly to yourself.  You jumped when you heard yourself speak.  

**_Draw it._ **

“What?  What do you mean?” You were confused as the sudden command, irritated at his tone.

**_Draw what you’ve seen.  You mentioned you would to Sans earlier at least._ **

He was right, you said you would try.  You sighed as you reached into your bag and slowly pulled out the drawing pad and drew up one leg on the bench in front of you.

“I don’t even know where to start.”  You fetched a pencil from your case and turned to lean on your right side on the bench.

**_The first thing that comes to mind._ **

You couldn’t help but smile as your pencil lead touch the paper and slowly you began to etch out shapes and wildly scratch thick black shades onto the page.  As you focused on the page you slowly began to tune out the gentle cool breeze and the murmur of traffic from the busy street behind you.  Once you had the basic shapes down you began to add the details which brought forth an amused laugh from within you.

**_Is that how you see me?  This ghastly figure?_ **

You couldn’t help but chuckle as you reached back into your bag and pulled out a small package of crayons.  You set it on the pad as you pulled the cardboard lid open and gingerly fished out a purple one in color.

“You did first appear to me in a nightmare, and you’re pretty scary.”  You paused as you filled in a large portion of his eyes with the purple.

**_My eyes are not that large._ **

“Just wait.” You spoke softly, trying not to break your focus as you placed the purple crayon back into the box to replace it with a black one.

You heavily covered the page, not caring if you missed any white spots for now.  There would always be time later to fill those in.  You etched around the outline of his shape, leaving a jagged rough edge before you move to his eyes and filled them in, as well as the small cracks in his face.

**_You’ve gone over the color.  I suppose that is one way to correct an error._ **

“Not a mistake, just watch.” Once you covered the page, you put the crayons away and searched your bag.  “I know it’s here somewhere...AH!” You proudly exclaimed as you fished out a metal nail file.

_**I hardly see the use for this here.** _

“Hush, just watch.” You smiled as you flipped the pointed end of the file down and slowly started to scratch the wax of the black crayon away.  What was left behind was the thick layer of black and the new purple iris.

You felt Gaster’s amusement as you continued onto the second eye before reaching back into your back for your colored pencils.

**_You carry a lot of supplies around in your bag for drawing._ **

It wasn’t a question, but more of an observation.  You still couldn’t help but smile as you flipped to a new page and began roughly sketching another face.

“It’s a passion of mine.”  You paused for a moment as you slowly started to sketch out the mouth.  “I loved reading when I was smaller, and I figured that one day I’d write my own.”

**_Is this where Pasta and Noodle have meaning?_ **

You couldn’t help but blush.  If he knew those names he knew where your inspiration for them came from.  “Yeah...I don’t have a story yet.  It’s a lot harder to come up with a story for children than you think.”  You pushed your embarrassment aside to continue work on your drawing.  “I’m not letting you off the hook either.  This taking control of me has to stop.”  You lightly tapped the tip of your pencil on the page before you.

**_It has been a long time since I’ve interacted with this world.  I only wished to read the book and test the possibility of magic._ **

“Magic?  You can use your magic with my body?” You put steadied your pencil as you focused on quickly shading a few areas in on the drawing.

**_It can manifest, but I haven’t needed my magic in so long, a part of it was locked away inside of you._ **

“Inside of me?  How?”  You pulled the pencil off of the paper and placed it within your bag, no longer able to focus on the piece.

**_Yes, I do not know how you managed to, but some of my strength was pulled into the place that holds your magic._ **

“My magic?  I don't...I don't have any magic!” You had no clue what he was talking about.  You were a human.  You never showed any signs of magic before.

**_All humans possess magic.  Most humans have lost attunement with their souls.  Humans like yourself and Frisk are special._ **

“Frisk?  The child that lives with Toriel?” You weren't quite sure what the small child had to do with magic.

**_Yes, I see you don’t have any memories of when Monsters left Mt. Ebott.  Frisk is the one that freed them._ **

You really hadn’t known.  It’s been close to a year now since the news that Monsters were coming down from the summit after what they called a barrier had broke.  During that time you were back in the hospital with a terrible fever and infection.  You knew that a child had somehow saved Monster kind, but by the time you were released from the hospital, all pictures of the child were no longer allowed for circulation.  Due to privacy and concern for their safety.

“It’s silly, huh?  I never connected the dots.  Toriel was the Queen right?  I guess it makes sense as to why Frisk is living with her.  I just...never gave it much thought.”  There was so much you didn’t know, and moving forward you needed to put in the effort.  “I really did shut myself and everyone else out.  I keep telling myself I need to do better, but I haven't put in that much effort to try.  I still don't know much about my friends.  Papyrus told me about himself and him living in Snowdin.  I need to talk to Undyne and Alphys, get to know them better.  I want to know more about you, and why you feel the way you do, despite your silences and things you say.”  You paused as you looked down at the blue pendant over your chest.  You still didn't understand why it felt wrong, but you'd worry about that later.  "I need to learn more about Sans...I know the least amount about him."

 **_Everyone deals with their problems differently.  When you devote yourself to think one way, you easily lose perspective on other things you neglect._ **  
You felt a hint of sadness in his words.  “You have experience with this?”  You weren’t expecting an answer, but his silence was enough to know he did not with to talk about it further.  “When you want to talk, I'll listen okay?”  You decided it was time to pack up your supplies.  Having lost focus, you could feel the chill of the wind against you and your exhaustion.  It was only then that you heard the soft sound of snow crunching behind you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Between being sick and hitting a major writing block, I finally was able to push through and finally get this chapter posted.
> 
> More Gaster shenanigans, another nightmare, and a cliffhanger. I am struggling to keep things paced properly...I want to do my great reveal so badly...but can't...it wont make sense x.x; writer's problems huh?
> 
> There's been a lot of Reader/Gaster focus lately, it's important for the plot! We're going to have more more Sans/Reader interaction in the next few chapters. Reader realizes she needs to put in a little more effort and get to know Sans better.
> 
> I want to say thank you for reading! I'll see you for the next update~
> 
> Tumblr for Updates: http://kioribug.tumblr.com/
> 
> Feel free to ask questions


	23. The Price of Protection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Strong language and physical violence.

With the last of your supplies quickly tossed into the bag, you weren’t sure who you were expecting to be walking up behind you.  It was probably Papyrus coming to look for you.  How long had you been out anyway?  You quickly turned to offer a smile but it faded as you saw a small group of boys your age approach you.

“Well, well, well!  Look who we have here!” The familiar carrot top boy said.

You quickly grabbed your bag and stood up, taking a few steps back from the small group.  “I-I was just leaving.” You said softly.  Your voice cracked as you recalled your incident with them early last month.

“Now now, you ran off pretty quickly after we were interrupted last time.” The carrot top said as he quickly stepped around the bench to block your way.

“I was really just leaving.”  You took a step away from him and gently bumped into something behind you.  Turning quickly, you jumped at the sight of one of his friends had circled around behind you as you were watching his friend.

You could feel your chest tighten as you took a sharp breath.

**_Calm down.  Leave when they give you a chance._ **

_I wasn’t planning on sticking around._

You were quickly brought out of your thoughts as you felt an arm wrap around your waist and pull you sideways.  The boy with the orange hair had moved to your side and his hand was tightly gripping your waist.  You squirmed and pushed away but it only caused him to hold you tighter.

“Up until a moment ago you were sitting out here alone on this bench.  It’s the early hours of the morning, anywhere you needed to be you would have been there by now.  Besides, with what you’re wearing, I’d be surprised if any place would have let you in.”  His smile turned your stomach as you looked down to recall what exactly you were wearing.

Gaster had slipped into your shoes from earlier, but you were still in your flannel pajama pants and the light t-shirt for bed.  You cursed him silently as you felt the cold more than ever.  You stumbled slightly as he slowly started walking.  His other friend walking just to your right, and his other friend walking behind you.  You gently bit down on your lip as you were pulled along with him.

**_Do not let him guide you.  We need to leave._ **

You weren’t trying to ignore Gaster, but being surrounded and being led down the park’s sidewalks away from the main road was your current main focus.  You felt his fingers gently strum against your stomach, making the muscles their twitch.

“Relax, I’m not going to bite.”  The boy holding onto you leaned closer to your ear which made you jump and push away once again.  His two friends chuckled before quickly hushing up as he slowed his pace.

Your breath caught in your chest as you heard the familiar chime of your phone from your pocket.  You quickly reached for it, forcing your bag to shift against the boy who was holding you tightly.  Once in your hand, you flipped the phone open but yelped as the boy quickly grabbed it out of your hand with his.

“A little late for people to be calling hmm?” He chuckled as he came to a complete stop.  His friends kept their distance as he looked over your phone, “Now who’s trying to interrupt this time?”  He quickly clicked his tongue as you heard him press the button to answer the phone.  He waited until the one calling spoke first.

You quickly looked up when you heard Sans’ familiar voice come over the speaker.

“Hello? ____?  Are you there?” Your heart sank at the sound of concern in his voice.

“I’m afraid she’s a little busy at the moment.”  His grin only added to your growing irritation as you squirmed against him.  He pulled you closer, pinning your arm against his side.  You struggled against him.

“Let go!” You finally managed to yell as you pushed against him.

He managed to drop your phone as he tried to keep his hold on you.  “That _freak_ has your number?!”

You watched as your phone hit the cement at your feet hard.  The screen shattered.  The bright light faded to black, and you weren’t even sure if the phone was working anymore.  You finally managed to break free from his grasp

“He is not a freak!”  You swung your bag at his face before you lost your balance and fell hard on the sidewalk.  His friend had jumped back out of the way as your bag crashed against the ground a short distance ways away from you.  A few of your tools rolling out onto the sidewalk.  You reached for your phone that you had landed next to and quickly grasped it in your hand.  The boy you had struck with your bag cried out in pain, but you ignored him as you began to speak into the phone.

“Sans?  Sans! I’m in the park passed the pharmacy...where we first met.  Please!  I need your help!”  You rambled quickly.  You swallowed hard as your call for help was met with silence.  You pulled the phone away from your face and quickly pressed the buttons.  “Nononono, please work!”  

**_You need to run!_ **

Gaster’s voice roared into your head, startling you, but you needed help.  Sans would come, you knew he would.  As fast as you could, you stumbled to your feet and grabbed your bag, you turned to try to run you felt a tight grip latch onto your wrist, twisting you to face the boy once again.  What only could be described as a low sounding thud and white light flashing before you fell hard to the ground once again?

The world spun as you felt like your head was swimming in water.  You have no clue what just happened, as you slowly pushed yourself up off the ground.  You heard muffled voices above you and you slowly looked up.  The boy you had hit with your bag slowly came into focus as specks of white dotted your vision.  In the poor light from the lights hanging in the park you could see a small trail of blood dripping from his lower chin.  

“You bitch!”  He hollered as one of his friends quickly grabbed him.  

**_Are you okay?_ **

You sat up on the sidewalk, at a loss for words as you watched as he fought against his friends.  Gaster’s words were the only thing that made sense to you.  You felt the side of your face flare of and a creeping ache slowly began to throb.  You slowly took your hand and pressed it against the side of your face, it felt hot, and you flinched when you touched the side of your lip.  Pulling your hand away you saw blood.

_He hit me?_

You were still in disbelief as you began to shake.  You jerked as you felt the neck of your coat being violently tugged forward.  You quickly closed your eyes as you clutched at your coat.

_Please, help me!_

You slowly felt yourself being detached as Gaster slowly spoke to you.

**_We can discuss this later._ **

**~ * ~**

Sans quickly sat up in bed.  His hand gripped the shirt as his chest, and his other gripped the sheet over the mattress.  He gasped for air as he quickly looked around the room.  

_Not in Snowdin…_

He sighed in relief as he took in the unfamiliar sight.  Where was he?  He slowly released the sheet below him as he shifted his hand and felt the coolness beside him.  He was reaching for someone.  His vision adjusted to the darkness as he glanced around the room.  

He had another nightmare.  His friends, lost to the child, the savior of all monster-kind.  He had been killed.  He felt it.  He felt the knife cutting through his bone.  His body crumble to dust.  It felt real, he knew it had to be real.  Frisk had control over time, he was certain of that.  Frisk knew his password, his fail safe.  There was no doubt in his mind that his nightmares were more than just, nightmares.  He just wished he could recall them more clearly.

How many nights has he woken up like this?  There were too many to count.  It felt like these nightmares took years from his life, and what scared him most was not knowing.  Not being able to verify it.  

He had spent countless hours researching time and space.  He knew of the anomaly, that was Frisk.  It had to be Frisk.  He just couldn’t remember how he discovered it.  His notes were only half the equation.  The only other notes he had were written in a writing he wasn’t familiar with.  He tried to decipher it, but he didn’t make it far.  He could have thrown them out, but somewhere deep inside him refused to let them go.  They were important, but he didn’t know why.

Sans settled down as his memory of earlier returned to him.  This was your room, he was in your bed.  The only thing missing was you.  He slowly crawled out of bed and rubbed the back of his skull.  Your bathroom door was left ajar, so you weren’t there.  A sound from the other side of the house drew his attention as he slowly shuffled towards the door.  Maybe you were just getting a glass of water from the kitchen.

He opened the door and squinted at the bright lights from the living room as he made his way around the morning.  He stopped, taking a moment to register that it wasn’t you, but Papyrus cleaning out the refrigerator.

“Papyrus?” Sans asked, watching his brother from the walkway.

Papyrus instantly perked up, his usual smile on his face.

“Good morning brother!  I hope I did not wake you!” Papyrus pulled a container of his spaghetti out and placed it on the counter.

“Nah, what time is it, and why are you going through the fridge?” Sans walked into the kitchen and leaned against the counter to stifle a yawn.

Papyrus looked up to the wall where a clock hung before turning back to continue rummaging through the fridge.  “It is half past one currently.  I am cleaning in hopes that will cheer up our human friend.  She wasn’t like herself earlier.”  Papyrus paused as he recalled his thoughts from earlier, “Oh!  She had gone for a walk and told me to let you know.  I thought she would have been back by now.”  He stood once again and gently began to squeeze his hands.  “It is cold outside, and she did not look like she was wearing the appropriate clothing to be out there long.”

Sans quickly looked towards the living room.  Your coat, shoes, and bag were missing.  He knew something had been bothering you, but he wasn’t sure how to approach you about it.  He didn’t expect to find you crying on the floor of the library.  You were speaking to someone, there was no other explanation for it.  

_“...don’t take the only thing I have left that’s mine…”_

Those were your words.  You were saying that to someone, but that’s the only piece to this puzzle Sans couldn’t figure out.  There was no one else in that library.  He didn’t pass anyone, and there was no one else there as you locked up and left.

Ever since you confessed, and asked him to show you your soul again, you’ve acted strangely.  For the brief moment Sans had grasped your soul, he could feel something was on your mind.  Something that weighed you down, but he couldn’t hold on long enough to see what that was.  Something was hurting you, and your well-being was far more important at the time.

Even your pendant still bothered him.  The violet pendant that he had picked out to match your soul, now matched his, and he couldn’t understand it.  What bothered him the most is that you didn’t even notice, no, it wasn’t that you didn’t notice.  You truly believed that this pendant was yours.  He wanted to ask, but you were happy.  Your soul pulsed brightly as you held it.  He couldn’t bring himself to take it away from you.

You’ve been jumpy, lost in your thoughts a lot more recently.  The brightness was slowly fading, and what looked like a shadow was taking over.  He could tell that you wanted to speak to him.  You had been good about opening up, sharing your thoughts and feelings instead of bottling them up.  Whatever was bothering you now must be difficult to speak of.

“Do you know if she took her phone with her?” Sans asked as he pushed off the counter and took a few steps into the dining room.

“I am not sure.  If her phone was in her bag then she should have it.” Papyrus emptied out a few of the bowls into the trash sadly and placed the empty containers in the sink.  “Are you planning on calling her?”

Sans nodded as he walked towards his bedroom, “Yeah, going to make sure she’s okay.”

Sans walked back to his room and slipped on his jacket.  He pulled his phone out from his pocket and scrolled to his contacts to find your number.  A picture of you was assigned to your contact information and he couldn’t help but smile.  It was the same picture he had taken in secret of you as you were drawing.  He pressed the call button and held the phone to his head as he searched around for another pair of shorts.  The familiar tone of the call connecting sounded as he slipped on a new pair of shorts and headed back towards the living room.

He came to a stop by the couch and pulled the phone away from his head to check it.  He was definitely calling you.  He looked around the house, listening closely for the familiar chime of your phone, but it wasn’t there.  

“Sans?” Papyrus watched from the kitchen, his smile slowly fading as he watched Sans.  “Is the human okay?”

Sans was about to answer when he heard the chime end and the familiar click letting him know you picked up.  Sans waited a moment, listening to the distant sound of cars in the background.  What began to worry him was the lack of your response and the sound of breathing from your side.

“Hello?”

_Why didn’t you answer…_

“____?”

_Just respond…_

“Are you there?”

Sans pressed the phone to his head, listening for any clue as to what was going on.

“I’m afraid she’s a little busy at the moment.”

That wasn’t your voice.  He’s heard it before, but he couldn’t recall where.

“Who is this?  Where’s ____?!” Sans growled into the phone.  He held his breath as he heard your voice.

“Let go!”

“____!” Sans called into the phone.  He clenched his fist as he heard the anger in the stranger’s voice.

“That _freak_ has your number?!”

Now he remembered this voice.  It belonged to the creep that was harassing you at that little cafe on your University’s grounds.  He quickly pulled the phone away from his head as he heard a loud crack.

“Sans?  What’s going-” Papyrus approached Sans side as Sans pressed the phone back to his head once again.

“____!?  ____!  What’s going on?!” Sans ran towards the door as he slipped on a pair of sneakers.  He turned to his brother, quickly thinking as he continued to focus on the phone.

“..not a...freak!”

There was a heavy static as the phone began to cut out.  He heard a yell from the hissing and he was unsure who it belong to.  He grit his teeth as he listened, hoping to hear any clues to where you were.

“Sans?”

Through the static, a wave of relief washed over him as he heard your voice.

“____!  Where are you?”  Sans paused as he tried to make out your message through the static.

“I’m...park….where we...please....help…”  Sans relaxed his fist as he listened.  You couldn’t hear him, and a lot of what you were saying was being lost to the static.  You mentioned a park.  Did you go back to the library?  Maybe you forgot something.

“I’m going to go look for her.”  Sans quickly opened the door be nearly tripped as he felt Papyrus tightly grip his arm.

“Let me help, I can search too.” Papyrus tighten his grip on Sans’ arm, staring down at him.

“Papyrus you should stay-”

“No!  I will not stay here and wait this time Sans.” Papyrus let go of Sans arm and pushed passed him to the front steps.  “I do not know what is going on, but made a mistake.  It-it’s my fault I didn’t stop her.  This is my fault.”

“Papyrus-” Sans closed his phone, no longer able to hear anything from the other end and shoved it into his pocket.  “Whatever is going on...isn’t your fault.”

“I could have stopped her Sans.  If...if she’s not…” Papyrus struggled to finish his thought as he kept his back to Sans.

“Papyrus just listen.” Sans paused as he held the door open to the house.  “Grab your phone at least...if she tries to call us, we need to be able to answer.” Papyrus perked up as he turned around.  He wore a weak smile, but Sans could still see the worry in his eyes.  “She’ll be okay.”

Papyrus nodded as he quickly ran back into the house and grabbed his phone from his room.  Sans had taken his place on the front steps as Papyrus returned to Sans side.  Papyrus quickly pulled the door shut behind him and held up his phone.

“Do you know where she is?” Papyrus asked as he looked up and down the sidewalk.  He pointed to his car as Sans shook his head.

“The only thing I could make out was a park.  I think she’s talking about the one near the library.” Sans said softly as he grabbed Papyrus’ arm.  “I know a shortcut.”

“Sans...I hate your shortcuts.  I do not like what I see there, but I will tolerate it just this once.” Papyrus didn’t put up much a fuss as he and Sans descended the steps and stood on the sidewalk.  He sighed as he watched Sans cut a hole beneath their feet as they slowly became enveloped in the blackness.

**~ * ~**

“What was in that bag!”

You stumbled forward as your knees scraped against the cement and ice.  You didn’t cry out, the only noise from you was the heavy, sharp breaths you took.  This only made him angrier.  His grip on the back of your coat pulled you back before throwing you towards the sidewalk once again.

“Hey, man!  That’s enough!” One of his friends were once gripping him, holding him back as he fought them.

“This monster-fucker cut me!”

Gaster settled himself inside of you as he slowly pushed you off the ground to stand.  Your pain was his, and quickly spit the pooled blood in your mouth out.  The metallic copper taste was new to him, but he would worry about this later.  He rubbed the back of your hand over your chin, flinching at the pain that was slowly beginning to throb.

He could feel the need for you to take in air more quickly, the fluttering of your heart.  This was your body’s natural response to the danger presented before you, your, as they say, fight or flight response.  He could feel your adrenalin holding back the pain, every nerve in your body told him you wanted to run.  He needed to give you that fighting chance.  

He looked down at your hand.  He had smeared blood along the back of it.  However, he paused as he noticed your hand was shaking.  He flexed your fingers lightly as he recognized the violet light.  

“If all you’re worried about is a minor scrape, I’m afraid you’re not going to like what happens next...” Gaster lightly clenched your fist as he steadied your shaking hand.

“What was that?” His friends must have released him due to the sound of his steps growing closer.  His hand reached for your wrist, but he was surprised when you grab his hand and twisted it back instead.  He let out a loud cry in pain as he reached his other arm around to knock you away.  His fist stopped, held by an invisible force.  “Wha...what the fuck?!”  

The boy watched in horror as Gaster reached his hand out, calling to something unseen within the boy.  His face turned anger to horror as a dull yellow light was pulled from his chest.

“What is that?  What the hell did you do to me?!”  The boy struggled, trying to get away as Gaster moved your hand closer to it.

  
“This?  This is you.”  Gaster paused as his magic slowly enveloped your arm before wrapping itself around your hand.  “It’s ironic given your treatment of the girl that this is your soul.”  Magic wrapped around your fingers as he tightly gripped the boy’s soul.  He cried out as the color slowly began to fade.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter came out late. I did not intend for the chapter to leave off on a cliff hanger. 
> 
> Gaster isn't happy, we'll have to wait until next chapter to see what he has in store for the jerk who's harmed reader.
> 
> Tumblr for updates: http://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	24. Penitence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Strong language, grief, and violence.

**_We can discuss this later._ **

Gaster’s voice grew distant as you were swallowed by his comforting darkness.  You knew you should have ran, but you froze.  You have no idea what you would have done if Gaster didn’t take control when he did.

When had you become so unstable?  You didn’t want to be alone on Christmas.  You were scared of being left alone in the library.  Any problem life threw at you would always face it head on.  You never needed anyone’s help before.  You could never ask for help.  You were so dead set on proving you were no different than anyone else.

Your fear faded, meshed with what you could only describe as anger.  You cried out inside of yourself, cursing how weak you felt you were.  The darkness around you was your only comfort.  

It _was_ so comforting.  Why?

You were startled by the sudden bright light and the sound of tapping feet against a hard floor.

You shielded your eye from the bright light, adjusting to it slowly before moving your arm away.  You were lying upright in an examination chair.  Maybe comforting was the exact word you should have used.  To your left and right were two more chairs, both covered in an unfamiliar dust.  Despite the bright light that was turned on overhead, the room still felt dark, cold.  

It was uninviting.

A chill ran up your spine as you swung your legs over the side of the chair and steadied yourself on your feet.

_How did I get here?  Where is here?_

The sound of someone’s heavy steps caught your attention as you jumped at the sudden appearance of man in a white coat.  They didn’t seem to notice you as they held a small device in their gloved hands.  You stumbled backwards and gently bumped into the chair behind you.  They didn’t seem to respond to the noise as they approached a table opposite of the door they entered from.  You could hear the sound of a second pair of footsteps from the door the man entered from a moment earlier.  These footsteps were a lot softer and quicker in pace.

Another monster quickly walked through the door, wearing their own white coat as they came to stand at the other’s side.  They were stocky with strange markings over their eyes.  The height difference may have been comical if you were given more time to observe them, but the shorter monster quickly spoke.

“Sir?”  They spoke carefully as they tightly held what you could only guess was a clipboard to their chest.  When the taller man, no, monster, didn’t respond they spoke up again.  “Sir, you haven’t eaten anything since yesterday.  You need to rest.  You haven’t even stopped to grieve.  You...you need to go home to your family.”

“I am needed here.”  The voice was low, familiar, emotionless.

“We can take care of what needs to be looked after here.  Sir, your family needs you.” The smaller monster spoke quietly as they took another step forward.  “If the guards only were able to relay their reports earlier, your...he may have been-”

“Enough!” The familiar voice slammed his fists against the counter top, silencing the smaller monster below.  The device in his hand bounced against the surface before coming to a stop.  “I will remain here and await our King’s arrival.”

The smaller monster, startled by the outburst tightly held their small mouth shut.  There was something else they wanted to say, but sighed.  “Forgive me, I...we just worry this assignment has been putting a lot of stress on you.  If you were to... _fall down_...we would be at a loss on how to proceed.  You’re...you’ve given many of us Hope.  We’ve only made it this far with the improvements, the quality of life you have given us.  If you would only share with us what you are working on, this project assigned by our King, we could help you.  You shouldn’t need to do this alone.”

The taller monster slowly stood and picked up the small device, curses under his breath as he checked it for any damage.  “You and any of the other staff that are still here may go home for today.”

“Sir?”  They took a step away from the taller monster, their arms and the clipboard dropping to their side.  “Please, allow _me_ to assist you.”

The taller monster did not respond.  They stood silently, staring down at the device they held in their hand.  The smaller monster huffed before turning and left the room.  You stood silently, having witnessed the two talking.  Were the two of them too tied up in their own conversation that they just didn’t notice you?

It wasn’t long before you heard a humming off to your left and the monster in front of you slouched his shoulders.  He set the device back down and pressed his palms against it.  His fingers slowly curled as they shook.

“How could this happen…”

You could only gasp as the monster turned, finally catching a glimpse of their face.  There was a horrible sinking feeling in your chest.  A hopelessness that had been eating at you as the two monsters had spoken earlier.  The monster in front of you seem to almost radiate these exact feelings.

_Gaster?_

You hesitated to call out to him, but something seemed off.  He looked different.  He rolled his shoulders as he began to walk down the hall the smaller monster had disappeared to.  You couldn’t be left alone here, especially not knowing what here is.

“Gaster?”

You called out but was only met with silence.  Was he ignoring you?  You didn’t understand why he would.  You cleared your throat, but still they kept their pace, never faltering.  You had to take twice as many steps to keep up with his long strides.  You sighed, frustrated that your questions were going to go unanswered.

You stumbled over yourself as you struggled to keep up, not wanting to get lost.  Your chest felt tight as a numbness threatened to stop you dead in your tracks.  You couldn’t be left behind.  The hallway was coming to an end when Gaster quickly turned right.  You held your arm up to press off against the wall, almost needing to run to keep up with him now.  Whatever Gaster was focused on didn’t interrupt his pace.  The way he is able to walk as he fiddles with the device in his hand only raises more questions.  How familiar with this place was he to not have to look where he was going?

As you followed him around the winding corner you noticed a pair of metallic sliding doors on your left.  That must have been what you had heard earlier.  You didn’t have time to confirm before Gaster disappeared around another corner.  You tripped and bumped into the wall, cursing as you righted yourself and took off after him once again.  The doors opened and were about to close as Gaster passed through.  You barely made it through as the doors closed behind you.

The hallway opened into a large room filled with several desks.  Papers were strewn around them.  It was messy, but everything looked like it was purposely in it’s place.  You weaved through the desks as Gaster left through a door to the far left.  Another panel lit up as you passed the door and sighed.

_Another hallway…_

You found a small relief as Gaster stopped, having noticed the distant humming coming from where you just were.

“Please slow down!”

You whined loudly as you knew your request was futile.  As you took a deep breath, you sighed as the cool air helped you relax.  Gaster didn’t respond and just kept on this way down the hall.  It was another long hallway, branching left and right.  The panels on the walls lit up as he walked by.  Information on the screen was blurred, and you were unable to read anything as you continued your pace.

Gaster took a deep breath before he slowly turned.  You could finally make him out entirely.  He looked younger.  If you compared him to yourself, he would probably be around your age.  This wasn’t the Gaster you knew.  Your Gaster looked older, a little more worn down.  He finally stopped as a low buzzing sound and a light shone brightly from his white jacket’s pocket.  He quickly grabbed it, revealing a small phone and stared at the information.  You could feel a knot twist in your stomach as he finally answered the call.  Before he could answer, a tiny voice rang throughout your head.

“Where are you!  Mom locked herself in her room and won't come out!”

You wrapped your arm around your stomach as you listened.  This was definitely a child.  He said “mom”, maybe someone related to him?

Gaster leaned back against the wall, taking a slow breath before answering.  “I am needed here.  I will come home when-”

“Mom needs you here!  I need you here!  Why is she like this?  What’s-”  You could hear his tiny voice shake, a mix of anger, sadness, and fear.  Thier voice hitched and you could hear a soft crying in the background.  “He...he won't stop crying.  I don’t know what to do…”

You could feel that every part of Gaster wanted to leave.  Every bit of instincts told him, told _you,_ that being here was a mistake.  

“When I’m not there, you are the man of the house.  In the fridge is a bottle, he’s probably hungry.”  Gaster spoke slowly, calming himself as he stared down at a watch on his wrist.  “You need to be strong for both of them right now.”

You froze as your breath caught in your chest as you once again heard a humming sound from the corridor in the other room.  When it stopped, footsteps echoed in the silent building.  They were slow, heavy, soft against the surface of the tiled floor.  You could barely make out the sound of a heavy before you jumped.  Gaster had walked passed you, back into the room of desks to greet whoever was there.

“I have to go now.  I won't be reachable for a while.” Gaster said as he quickly pulled the phone away from his head.  The small voice objected loudly, but Gaster flipped the phone off and shoved it into his pocket before greeting the visitor.

You had no choice but to follow.

You stopped at the door, observing as Gaster approached the giant monster.  You recognized them.  This was Asgore, their King.  You leaned against the door as you tightly grasped the pendant at your neck.  You could feel your stomach knot and your muscles tighten as an uncontrollable wave of anger and sorrow washed over you as he pulled his mantle aside and presented a container to Gaster.  You gasped as you took a few steps back.  Your eyes fixated on the contents.  The device he held he tucked under his arm as he held out his hands towards his King.

“Is this their soul?” Gaster hesitated slightly, but he still took the container, staring down at the container that held a bright violet soul.

Asgore sighed and nodded, “I am sorry my dear friend.  At times like these, you should be with your family.  Keeping you here is a selfish request from this old fool.”

Gaster gripped the canister before turning his back towards the King.  “Casualties have been far too common when obtaining these souls.  He was aware of the risk.  My place is here.  Until the barrier is broken.  If I was more thorough with my previous research, maybe his death wouldn’t have occurred.”  He didn’t wait for his King to speak again before he began his pace back into the corridor you just came from.  

You turned back to look at Asgore one more, only to see nothing was there.  You stumbled as you turned to follow Gaster once more.  The anger and sorrow had all but left you as it turned to guilt.  You finally understood what was going on.  This was a memory, this was Gaster’s memory.  This was the Underground before the barrier fell.  You didn’t understand where they got the human soul from though.

The hallway was dark, but the glow of the human’s soul guided your way.  The panels on the wall lit up as you passed.  You dared not look, afraid to miss whatever Gaster was trying to accomplish.  He stopped in a dark open room, fixing the container into something you couldn’t quite make out.  You came to stand by his side as you looked out into the darkness.  The lights flickered in front of you as Gaster flipped a switch on the device he was carrying.  You tripped as you stumbled backwards against the wall

In front of you was a monstrous machine.  The metallic body, shaped like a skull, hung from the ceiling over a dark pit.  The machine began to rumble and wheeze as you finally noticed the container holding the human’s soul in what you thought as it’s jaws.  Your focus shifted as you heard Gaster swear loudly before he raised his fist to slam it back down on the device.  It sparked, causing the machine in front of him to whined and vibrate. You watched in horror as the unstable machine in front of you released some of it’s pressure in the form of steam.

You quickly looked to your left and then to your right.  The floor you were sitting on was cold to the touch.  No, it wasn’t just the floor.  The walls, the entire room felt cold.  You felt a draft coming from your left as you began to tremble.  This was your fear.  This soul, it reminded you of yours, of Gasters, as you saw it’s light faded as the machine almost seemed to devour it.

Your breath caught in your chest as you slowly stood up.   You swallowed your unease and leaned against the wall as support.  The panel to the left of the machine caught your attention as a representation of the violet soul appeared on the screen.

Numbers and symbols you didn’t recognize scrolled over the screen as lines highlighting details of the soul before it flashed away onto another screen.  It showed the outline of an empty soul and one by one colored soul appeared around its edge.  The first was green.  To the left, there was finally text you could read.

 **_Subject 1:_ ** _Kindness_

You didn’t understand but watched as the second soul lit up in a familiar indigo color.  You quickly looked to the left to read what was digitally scribed.

 **_Subject 2:_ ** _Integrity_

The souls around the empty soul in the middle began to fill up and divide.  The first soul contained a larger piece of Kindness then it did of Integrity.  The opposite was true for the second soul.  As the souls filled in you noticed that each contained a little part of each Soul’s trait, and the dominate one having a larger piece.  You watched as each subject was listed and what trait was considered the dominate one.

 **_Subject 3:_ ** _Patience_

 **_Subject 4:_ ** _Bravery_

 **_Subject 5:_ ** _..._

You held your breath as a sickening knot twisted as you saw the new subject flash onto the screen.  It’s name was colored violet and each soul filled in the missing color.  Gaster approached the machine as he retrieved the container from the mechanical jaws.  He stared at it for a moment as you slowly took stepped towards him.  You stopped as he tilted the canister and unlatched one end.  The soul instantly tried to escape, but a third and fourth disembodied hand flew out from behind Gaster and tightly gripped the fleeing violet . You scrunched your nose as you felt a terrible anger push aside the sickening feeling.  This was Gaster’s anger, you could see it written on his face as his eyes began to glow brightly.

He swapped the container to the disembodied hands as he tightly held the human’s soul in his hands.  The soul pulsed frantically.

_Fear…_

You felt your hand grip your pendant tightly as you watched as another disembodied set of hands floated to his left or right.  He loosened his grip on the soul, allowing it to fly free from his grasp.  He frantically tried to escape, but it suddenly stopped as it’s violet shade changed to that of the second subject.

“Let’s find what makes you, _you_.”  Gaster held out in hands, each side a set of bones materialized.  In his right a light blue bone, and in his left a white one.  He held his left hand out in front of him first.  The bone turned and hovered mere inches from the base of his palm.

His eye flashed once again and the bone rocketed from his palm and struck the soul.  You quickly looked away and gripped your chest as you saw it connect.  You heard Gaster fire off another burst of magic and you heard as it connected once more.

“Stop it…” You begged, knowing he couldn’t hear you.

You could tell his magic flared up once more followed by another set of indescribable sounds as the magic connected with the soul once more.

“Please...do...do they really deserve this?”  You called once again.  “I...don’t want to see this anymore...please...anything...anything is better than watching this!”  You yelled out as you collapsed to your knees.  “...please…”

Once there was only silence did you turn to look at Gaster.  He had pulled the soul back to him and held it tightly in his hands.  The soul pulsed weakly in his hands.  You gasped as his face contorted and he furrowed his brow.  You didn’t understand and leaned away as he took a few steps away from the monstrous machine and leaned back against the wall.  His shoulder shook as he ground his teeth.  You were frightened as well as confused about what he was doing.  You had so many questions you knew he couldn’t answer, not here.  You looked away for a moment as your vision grew blurry.

“Huh?” You softly spoke as you rubbed your left, wet eye.  When did you start crying?

You looked back towards Gaster as tears trailed his chin as slid down the wall.  He was mumbling something you could barely make out as the violet glow from his eyes faded to a jade color.  The magic in his hand emanated the green magic as he wrapped around the soul.  The anger from earlier was gone.  All you could feel now was the immense guilt, sorrow, and grief as Gaster sobbed his apologies.

“...it was an accident...that old fool…”  You couldn’t catch everything that was said as he hung his head low.  The only noises you could hear now was the soft mumbling sobs from Gaster as he let the green magic encase the violet soul as the echoing buzz of the phone in his pocket vibrating against the hard tiled floor.

The darkness once again swallowed you as you doubled over onto yourself.  You could feel Gaster’s emotions tear at your core.  The guilt and grief overwhelming as you struggled to breathe.  Whatever he saw within that human’s soul was tearing him apart, and in relation, tearing you apart.  This human was related to the grief that Gaster felt.  The anger and blame that he had felt towards this soul was misplaced, for whatever reason.  You didn’t understand any of it.  You didn’t understand what he was doing, or what that machine was doing to the souls.

As you finally caught your breath you felt the sorrow and guilt give way to a deep, anger.  The physical pain from earlier throbbed on the left side of your face, reminding you of your reality.  You could feel the tightness in your chest as you felt Gaster magic well up around you.  Your thoughts instantly recalled what Gaster had done to the soul in his memory.

Every part of your being wanted to believe that the boy who hit you deserved whatever Gaster had planned for him, but part of you didn't want this.  You couldn't be responsible if…

No...you couldn't think like that.  You felt trapped within yourself, closed off from everything this time.  You couldn't see what was going on.  All you could do is feel the pain Gaster felt, and the anger growing with ferocity around you.  Gaster had been able to grip you at your core.  Take control of you whenever he wanted.  He was protecting you, you could tell his much.  There was an overwhelming need to protect you.  Beneath all the anger you could sense a painful guilt.

“Gaster!” You called out into the darkness.  “Please stop!  Whatever you are doing, please just stop!” You begged as you could make out a blurry image in front of you.  A yellow, golden light, washed over you as you slowly made out the boy in front of you.  “Gaster please...please please please stop!”

You begged as you watched as the darkness around you began to crack.  You continued to beg as you felt his magic seep into the yellow soul, the color draining as he tossed it aside.  You wanted him to listen to you, but you weren’t sure if he would hear you over the overwhelming anger that seemed to be guiding his emotions.

**~ * ~**

The red headed human cried out as Gaster tossed him aside.  Where he once gripped the soul were violet imprints that slowly faded as he turned his attention to the other two quickly backed away.

“She’s a freak!”  The shorter of the two stumbled back and fell into the soul two sets of hands flew towards them.  They both shrieked as they were retrained and their own souls pulled from their core.

Gaster refused to speak as their souls shifted to indigo and he hoisted them into the air as he raised your hand.  Gaster’s breaths were heavy as he felt your body begin to sweat.  He wouldn’t be able to keep this up for long.  He was able to manifest his magical limbs, making it easier to control each of the human separately.  His disembodied hands quickly swung to his left as the two humans were flug to land against their friend writhing in pain on the ground.

Gaster stumbled as tried to keep his focus.  You were fighting the magic he had encased you in to allow you to block out everything that was happening.  He didn’t want you to see him like this, but he couldn’t forgive this human for hurting you either.  He raised your hand and held it high above your head.  His magic began to manifest above him and a low growl hissed from its center.

White glowing eyes bore into the three humans that were pinned to the ground below as its form took shape.  Long sharp horns jutted from the top of its skull, as well as long jagged fangs, hung from it’s lower jaw.  It’s jaw cracked loudly as it snapped towards the humans below.  The two that were thrown earlier let out a shriek as it stopped.

_Gͤͯa᷾͠s̖͠t́ḙ̸̬͒ȑ̹̮͚͔͔!_

He froze as his fist, _your first_ , begun to tremble once more.  He only needed a little more time

**_Let me finish!  I won't allow anyone else to be hurt!_ **

He was losing it, his magic was requiring most of his energy and you fighting him for control once more was too much for him to contain the manifestation above him.  It let out a growl once again as he it’s form faded into a cloud of smoke above him.  Gaster stood frozen, glaring down at the humans who cowered below.  His anger seething as he focused on you.

**_Let me do this!_ **

_I can’t!  This...this isn’t what I want!_

**_Your fear, anger, confusion.  I felt it.  If you continued as you were what do you think could have happened to you?_ **

You didn’t want to answer his question, but you knew that you didn’t want this.  

_Gaster please...let’s just go home.  They don’t deserve this.  No matter how much they hurt me.  I was scared...but that doesn’t mean that you should kill...you can’t kill them Gaster._

Gaster lowered your arm as he shook.  Their souls still hovered out in front of them.  The Yellow soul’s color was slowly returning as the purple marks faded away.  The boy still wailed in pain as he clutched his chest, unable to open his eyes.  Gaster clenched your jaw, but flinched as he felt the pain well up on the side of your face.  The unfamiliar taste of copper filled his mouth and forced himself to wipe your lip.  There was more blood from earlier.  He was growing tired as he steadied himself.  

**_I’ve made a mistake…_ **

His voice went silent as you felt yourself take control once again.  Your body ached, and your vision was blurry as you stumbled backwards.  Their souls disappeared and you knew you wouldn’t have long before they would notice it themselves.  You quickly turned and grabbed your bag.  You saw your broken phone on the ground and shoved it into your pocket as you ran towards the the back alley away from them.

_Gaster?  What’s wrong?_

You were met with silence once more.  You tripped and tumbled to the ground.  Your pant leg was torn and you could see the scraped skin.  You were dizzy but you knew you needed to get home.  You called out to Gaster within yourself, but you couldn’t feel his presence anymore.  

Please answer me!

You felt a tightness in your chest as you felt a familiar pain you haven’t felt in a long time.  You rolled over onto your left and tightly gripped your right side.  Your breath caught in your chest as you heard distant yelling coming from the park.

“Where is she?!”

“I don’t know man...she’s gone...let’s just get out of here!”

“No, find her!”

“Fuck no...that is some shit I want nothing to do with!”  

“She’s one of them man...not worth it!”

“Fuck both of you!  I’ll make her regret what she did to me!”

You swallowed hard as you bit back the pain as you scrambled to stand.  You stumbled down the alleyway to come face first with a fence.  You pressed your hands against it, searching for a whole as you dreaded him finding you once more.

_Gaster please!  I you didn’t have to disappear...please...PLEASE don’t leave now...help me!_

You panic as you saw a crack in the fence.  You peered through, seeing a side street and people passing at the end in the distance.  You didn’t know why you just didn’t run back towards the main street, but you just wanted to get away.  You cursed the stupid decision as you leaned your forehead against the wood, softly sobbing as you could hear his heavy footsteps draw near.

You forced your eyes shut as you leaned your weight against the wood.  You wished Sans was here.  He could take you away from here in an instant.  All you wanted was to be on the other side of this fence.  You felt what could only be yourself coming undone once again as you began to tremble.  You were angry at how weak you were.  How you crumbled so quickly.  Your head spun as you felt a familiar darkness wash over you.  You shook your head, begging to stay conscious long enough.

_Let me through…_

You begged as you banged your fist against the wood.

_Please…_

You lightly tapped your forehead against the fence.  You couldn’t let him find you here.  You had figure out You looked around yourself, spying boxes and garbage can.  You threw your bag over the top of the fence.  This would be your only chance.  You pulled your bag tight, satisfied with your grip as you hoisted yourself up onto the box before crawling onto the slippery lid of the garbage can.

You attempted to steady yourself as you stood, but your foot slipped and your waist crashed against the flat edge of the fence.  The wind escaped you as your vision went white.  You stumbled forward onto the fence and you felt yourself tumble head first to the ground below.  The only thing you could do was to cover your face as you fell towards the ground below.

A loud crash echoed through the alley as you tried to focus in front of you.  Disorientated, you looked around as you heard distant murmurs coming from the street and a pair of blurry figures approaching you.

“Are you, like, okay?”

“She doesn’t, like, look okay.”

“Oh! Catty!  I think we know her!”

“Isn’t that like, our neighbor?”

“Oh. My. God.  It totally is our neighbor!”

“It’s totally her, Bratty!”

The two stopped and giggled a moment.

“What are you doing out here in the trash?”

“There’s, like, nothing good in these bins.”

You finally focused on the two, trying to push yourself up right, but slipped once again.  You couldn’t breath, every inch of your body was screaming at you in pain.

“Catty, isn’t that, like, blood?”

“That totally _IS_ blood!”

The two quickly approached you and helped you to your feet.  Catty’s hand securely grabbed under your arm as she steadied you. You flinched as Bratty’s arm snaked around your back and held up you up by your waist.  You took a sharp breath as you squeezed your eye shut.

Before the two could ask any more questions you felt your muscles stiffen as the sound of the boy’s voice spoke up once more.

“Where the hell did that bitch go?”  You could hear his steps, walking down the alley behind you and you pressed yourself into Bratty.  

“Like, did he do this to you?”

“That’s so not cool.”

Catty let go of your arm as she leaned down and picked up an aluminum can from the trash spilled at your feet.  She wait for the exact moment as his head appeared over the fence before launching it at him.  It bounced off his head as he jerked his head back in reflex.  

“Hey!  What’s your problem!” He stopped as he stared down at you being held by the taller green Alligator looking monster.  The monster that threw the can was the larger purple cat.

“You should scram, dude.  You’re not wanted here.”  Catty placed her hand on her hip and stood her ground.  He glanced between the two of them before his gaze fixated on you.

“What the fuck did you do to me?!” He lifted himself up on the fence and you flinched against Bratty.

“I thought I told you to scram man!” Catty took a step forward and kicked the fence.  It caused it to shake making him fall backward into the alley.  You heard the garbage can you used to climb over spill over the ground.

A small group of people seemed to be standing at the entrance of the alley on your side.  You buried your face into Bratty’s shoulder, the cold finally catching up to you.  You heard him curse one more before the sound of the snow crunching below his feet faded into the distance.

“Catty and I were heading home.  You should, like, totally let us walk you home.” Bratty took a step as you struggled beside her.  

“...ans…”  You mangled to mumble.

“Like, could you speak up?  I sooo couldn’t catch what you said.” Bratty pulled away as she attempted to listen to you clearly.  Catty kicked the fence once more before she approached you and her friend.

“Please...let me call Sans…” You begged as you felt your head begin to spin once again.

“Sans?  Oh!  He’s your new roomie right?  Him and his brother are just the like, total sweeties!”  Catty smiled as she reached into her pocket and grabbed her phone.

“He’s totally not just a roomie.” Bratty couldn’t help as the two of them exchanged a look before breaking into a giggle.  You didn’t understand but you heard Catty dialing a number on her cell.  Catty stood close by as she waved the small group of people staring at the three of you in the alley.

“Heeyeh!”  Catty giggled into the phone.  The smile quickly wiped from her face as she listened.  “Hey, like, chill!  Bratty and I like, totally found her.  We’re going to bring her home, so like, you can totally relax now.”  She paused again as she awaited Sans’ response.  “A guy?  Totally scared him off.  He won't be bothering her anymore tonight.  You should totally like, wait for us.”

**~ * ~**

Sans ran towards the steps of the Library when he didn’t see you or anyone at the park.  Papyrus stood on the sidewalk.

“Brother, is there another park she could be at?”  His voice was quiet as he watched the back of Sans’ jacket .  

“I don’t know…” Sans said quietly as he looked to his left and right.  “One sec bro.  Going to see if she’s in here.”  Before Papyrus could reply his brother was gone from his sight.  Papyrus turned away as he began to pace the sidewalk.

Sans called out into the dark library.  He clenched his fists as the silence told him to continue looking.  He appeared back onto the steps of the sidewalk as he wracked his head for what park she could be talking about.

“Did she mean the parking lot?”  Sans mumbled to himself as Papyrus placed his hands on Sans’ shoulder.

“Was she in there?”  Papyrus furrowed his brow but looked away.  “No...she wasn’t…”  He answered his own question.  “You mentioned a parking lot?”

Sans nodded as he grabbed onto his brother’s wrist, “Yeah, hold on…”

“Sans wait!” Papyrus called out, but it was useless.  Sans had already begun the process and the two sank into the darkness.  Papyrus quickly shut his eyes, only opening them once his two feet were flat against the solid ground.  “Honestly Sans!  You need to becareful!  We both know that this consumes a lot of your magic.  It is dangerous to push yourself!”  He paused as he stood up straight and checked Sans over before finally taking in the scene around him.  “I want to find ____ just as much as you do, but she wouldn’t want you to fall down…”  He heaved a sigh as he turned away to take a look around.  “...neither do I.”

Sans took a moment to catch his breath as he focused.  He was listening, trying to make out any voice that could have belonged to you.  “I’ll be fine.  We’ll worry later after we find her.”  He took a few steps and scanned the area.  He didn’t see you here either.  He cursed under his breath as his left hand cupped his jaw, tracing his jawline as he thought of any possible places you could be.

_Maybe she’s near Grillby’s?  No..I don’t remember seeing a park near there._

“Sans…”

_What about a park on the way to St. Kat..Chatherins?  What ever...there were so many parks...she wasn’t visiting her parents again?_

“Sans!”

_No...Pap said she was still in her pajamas.  You couldn’t have gone far…_

“SANS!”  Papyrus placed his hands once again on his brothers shoulders and lightly shook him.

“Paps?” Sans looked up at his brother with slight confusion.

“Brother, your phone is ringing!  Please answer it!”  Papyrus let Sans go and took a step back.  He looked hopeful as Sans quickly scrambled to answer the phone he was now aware was ringing.  He didn’t recognize the number as he answered it and held his phone up to his face.

“Hello?” Sans hesitant tone quickly soured as he heard the sing song voice of Catty on the other end.  He waved his hand in frustration over his head as he yelled into the phone.  “Catty?  Look, I’m sorry I don’t have time to talk right now.  ____, she lives next door to you, she’s missing and Papyrus and I are looking for her.  I don’t have time for-”  He froze as she interrupted him.  His hand slowly fell as he listened to what she had to say.

“Sans?” Papyrus wasn’t sure how to make out the expression his brother was making.  Sans eyes had gone dark.  He was motionless except for his hand as it slowly came to rest at his side.

“Where is he.”  His left eye began to glow, a mixture of lucid yellow and blue magic swirled around.  “There was a guy...where is he.”  Sans paused again and the magic slowly faded from his eyes.  “Gone?”  He paused again, “Where are you?  I’ll come to you.”

“Sans?” Papyrus wrung his hands together as he waited anxiously for you to answer him.

“Sorry...yeah...They found her...Catty and Bratty found her…” Sans sighed in relief as he finally let it set in.  His worry subsided for now.  “Is she alright?”  Sans held his breath as he waited for Catty to reply.  She hesitated and he gripped his phone a little tighter.  

_“She doesn’t look too good.  Your brother knows a little bit of healing magic right?”_

“Where are you?” Sans demanded as he helplessly stood in front of his brother.

_“Chill man.  We’re on our way home.  We’re like, totally neighbors!”_

Sans didn’t want anything more than to be at your side this moment, but Catty had hung up the on her side of the call.  He stood there for a moment, staring at the phone before letting out a frustrated groan.

“Is there anything wrong?”  Papyrus gently grabbed Sans phone from his hand.  “What’s wrong?”

Sans tried to rationalize that if they were walking you home you couldn’t be in that bad of shape.  He was worried when Catty mentioned healing magic, but he could worry about that later.  He looked up at Papyrus and offered him a half smile.  “She’ll meet us at home...we just need to wait for her there.”  
  
Papyrus didn’t need Sans to explain what he was about to do.  Papyrus took a deep breath and placed his hands on Sans’ shoulder.  “No more shortcuts…”  His sigh went unanswered as the two faced once again into the blackness of Sans’ magic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6,406 words...This when on for a lot more than I intended it to. I needed to draw the line. 
> 
> I know I left off on a partial cliffhanger once again, but we're finally going to get some answers. I can't promise when the next update will be. It was a day over two weeks since the last update. I want to be able to post a chapter at least once a week again. Between the busy schedule I've found myself to have, and writers block, it's been a struggle trying to get this out.
> 
> Sorry for the wait, but hopefully this longer chapter made up for at least part of it.
> 
> For updates, please check my Tumblr: http://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	25. Bear With Me

_“She doesn’t look too good.”_

Those words echoed in his head as Sans leaned against Papyrus car. Papyrus paced the sidewalk in front of their house waiting eagerly for you to return home.  Sans allowed his leg to bounce, the pent up nerves needing some form of release, as he closed his eyes.  He let out a slow breath as he let it block out the sound around him.  

_“She doesn’t look too good.”_

Sans shook his head, blocking out the thoughts.  He leaned back against the front door to their small home and took a slow, deep breath.  At times like these, he wished the the cold would distract him.  His left hand rested lightly on his chest just below his collar.  

_How long until she’s home safe?_

He tightly gripped the fabric of his t-shirt tightly in his left hand as his shoulders sagged.  Beneath his hand, deep within his chest, Sans focused on the light aching pain.

“Sans?”

Sans opened his eyes and focused on his brother kneeling in front of him.  He offered a smile and loosened his grip on his shirt when Papyrus gently grasped his left hand between his own.

“I’m alright Paps, just a little tired,” Sans smiled and pulled his right hand from his jacket’s pocket to lightly pat Papyrus’ gloved hand.  “Don’t worry about me.”

Papyrus offered a light smile as he stared down at Sans’ and his own hands.  “I do worry, Sans.  I do not know what is going on.”  Papyrus paused as he stopped to collect his thoughts, “She’ll be okay.  You said it yourself.  I trust you, Sans.”

Sans sighed, but offered Papyrus an honest smile, “You’re right Paps.  She’s going to be alright.”

“Do you know how long they would be?  Were they near by?” Papyrus stood back up, releasing Sans’ hand and gently

“I’m not sure Paps.  I don’t know where they were when she Catty called to let us know.”  Sans let out a frustrated sigh.  Catty and Bratty have always been nice.  They seem to be off in their own little world most of the time, enjoying life to the fullest.

Sans sat quietly as Papyrus watched him.  Papyrus took a step back and took the few steps towards his old, red sports card.  He squeezed his hands as he watched his own reflection in the window before turning to peer down the road on his left.  He turned to his right and stopped.  He had to squint to barely make out a small group walking slowly in their direction.

“Sans!  I think I see them!” Papyrus’ smile widened as he quickly turned to return to Sans’ side.  He quickly pulled his brother to stand before bolting down the sidewalk, leaving Sans to follow behind him.

His breath hitched as he quickly followed after his brother.  As the two of them got closer they knew it was you.  Catty had removed her coat and wrapped it around your shoulders to help warm you up.  Her arm was wrapped around her waist as she helped you walk along the sidewalk.  You were leaning forward holding your stomach.  Sans and Papyrus stopped as the the girls took small steps to allow you to walk.

“____...” Sans quietly spoke your name.  He raised his hand slowly, outstretched towards you before pulling it back.  You looked so fragile, that the slightest breeze would shatter you.

Your head rose so your eyes would meet.  A gentle smile tugged at the corner of your lips as your lips parted.

“I’m…”

Before you could finish your sentence Papyrus had kept forward and pulled you away from Bratty and Catty to tightly hug you.  His embrace pained you, but you were relieved to finally feel safe once again.

“I’m so sorry human!  I should have never let you leave our home in such a state!  You must be-” Papyrus rambled as tears formed in the corners of his eyes.

Sans could only stand there.  His hand that reached out towards you just moments before tightly gripped his jacket.  

_Blood…_

He watched as Catty quickly jumped to your side and highly tapped Papyrus on the shoulder.

“Like, right now may not be the best time for hugs.” Catty was able to loosen Papyrus’ grip before she looked up at Sans.

“That is silly!  There is never a time when hugs are…”  Bratty gently rubbed your back as Papyrus leaned away to take a good look at you.  His voice fell quiet and his smile fell into a concerned frown.  “What happened?”  Papyrus’ grip loosened around you as he lightly touched your cheek.  You flinched at his touch as a bruise had started to color your cheek.

“We found her as she was running away from this guy.” Bratty looked back to her friend as she nodded.

“The guy was a total creep.” Catty folded her arms over her chest as she bit the inside of her cheek with frustration.

“A serious creep.” Bratty agreed.  “Like, it didn’t take much to get him to leave, but he didn’t seem happy with ___.”

“You remembered my name?” You’ve only ever held short conversation with either Bratty or Catty when you would walk passed each other while going to and from  your own home.  You told them your name when you first moved in, but until Sans and Papyrus moved in, you didn’t generally involve yourself with too many people.

Catty couldn’t help but giggle as she knelt down beside you.  “That’s like, a totally silly question.”

Bratty giggled with her friend and gently squeezed your shoulder, “You’re like, our neighbor.”

You covered your good eye as your shoulder fell.  You were tired, cold, and your body ached.  All you could do was nod your head and softly speak with a shaky voice, “Thank...you…”  You couldn’t see, but Catty and Bratty smiled.

“You should join us for a night out when you’re feeling better.” Bratty offered as she adjusted her coat and scarf as a cold breeze picked up.

“We know all the best clubs.  It would be totally cool if you could hang out.” Catty pulled her coat off your shoulders and folded it over her arms.

“Like, you should go with us some time.  You’d totally have fun!” Bratty smiled as she handed your bag to Papyrus before hooking her arm into Catty’s.

“Sans, like, has my number.  Just give us a call any time!”  The two waved as they left you with Papyrus.  “We’re going to go chill.  If that jerk shows up again you will be just fine.”  The two peered over at Sans before exchanging a knowing look and giggled.  “If Sans will be willing to share I mean.”

“Thank you…” You said weakly.  Your legs shook and the adrenaline was finally wearing off.  You looked passed Papyrus and reached your hand out to Sans.  He was watching Catty and Bratty before he turned his attention back to you.  He took a step forward and gently took your hand into his.  His hand was cold to the touch but it was a welcomed feeling.  He held your hand like you would break at any moment.

Catty and Bratty smiled, “Take care of her.” “Take it easy.” The two spoke in unison as they left you with the two brothers.

“Human?  Are you...terribly hurt?”  Papyrus spoke slowly as they felt you shake against him.  His eyes watched the bruise on your face as well as the cut on your lip before checking your arm.  You only nodded as everything ached.  Sans finally approached as he placed his hand on your shoulder.

“I’m going to take you to a friend to help.” Sans’ voice was soft and you could see his eye began to glow.  You shook your head before you finally spoke.

“No!  N-no magic!” You couldn’t help but beg.  You’ve had enough magic for one day.  

Sans froze as Papyrus looked up at him.  He gave Sans a worrying look, “She is right, brother, you cannot continue like this you’ve-.”

You didn’t understand but Sans removed his hand from your shoulder and interrupted Papyrus.  “Come on, Paps get her into the car.”

“Brother?  Where are we going?”  Papyrus placed his hand on your back and let you lean on him as he walked you towards the car.  “Sans?”

“We’re going to have her looked at,” Sans said quickly as he opened the driver's side door and hopped in.

Papyrus walked to back of the car and opened the door to let you in.  He helped you to sit and placed your back next to you in the seat.  He slipped in next to you as you buckled up.  Sans adjusted the rearview mirror to check on you before putting the car into drive and taking off down the road.

**~ * ~**

Sans stood outside of Toriel’s door, banging on it loudly.  Papyrus held you in his arms as you clutched your stomach.  A light sweat had formed on your brow and your complexion had paled.

The lights of a few houses flickered on as a few disgruntled neighbors peeked through their curtains.

“Tori!  Please, open up!” Sans yelled as he continued to hammer his fist onto her door.

“Sans, you’re waking the neighbors…”  Papyrus nervously looked up and down the road before he checked on you.  You were chewing on your lip, distracting yourself from the pains aching your body.  Papyrus looked up as the warm glow of lights filtered out through Toriel’s curtains.  It wasn’t that much longer until the regal monster swung open the door, agitation clearly written on her face.

Toriel’s mouth moved to scold Sans for banging on her door at this hour until her eyes caught sight of Papyrus holding you in his arms.  Her expression instantly soften as she tighten the lilac robe around her neck and quickly took a few steps back to allow you all to enter.

“Oh dear, my child what has happened?”  Her voice held no evidence of her earlier irritation, only concern.

“Tori, please, can you heal her?” Sans begged as let out a breath he was holding.  He clutched at his chest as he walked passed her and moved aside to let Papyrus enter quickly.

“I do not know.  I will see what I can do.” Toriel closed the door behind Papyrus and motioned towards the spare bedroom next to Frisk’s room.  “Take her there, I will be there in a moment.”

Toriel rushed towards her bedroom to change as Papyrus carried you to the spare room.  The second door creaked open as a bleary-eyed Frisk opened their door.  They rubbed their eyes before catching site of Papyrus who disappeared into the spare room.  Sans followed behind him but stopped to ruffle Frisk’s hair.

“Sorry kiddo didn’t mean to wake you.  Go back to bed, we can talk in the morning.” Sans sighed as his eyes were heavy.

Frisk shook their head as they weakly signed.

**_That was ____.  What is going on, Sans?_ **

“Don’t worry about it.  Your mom is going to fix her up.  Go on now.”  Sans placed his hand on their shoulder to guide them back to their room.  Toriel emerged from her room once again.  She spotted Frisk and her concerned expression changed to that of a soft smile.

“My child, I’m sorry if the noise had awoken you.”  She knelt down so she could be closer to eye level with Frisk before speaking again, “I am going to be in the room next to yours looking after ____.  You need not worry.  Try to go back to sleep.”

Frisk shook their head once more before signing.

**_I want to help.  She helped me when I was sick, let me help her now._ **

Toriel smiled as she pulled Frisk into a gentle hug.  “You are very kind.”  Frisk smiled as they leaned back.

I can make them some tea.  That can help her, right?

Toriel nodded as she turned to Sans.  “Will you go with Frisk to help them make some Sea Tea?”

Sans looked back at the bedroom where you were before turning back to Toriel.  He couldn’t say no to her.  The corner of his mouth twitched as he nodded and held out his hand.  “Sure, Tori.”  He paused as Frisk took a hold of his hand.  Toriel rose to her feet and offered him a gentle smile before taking a few steps to stand in the room’s doorway.

“I will do what I can Sans.”  Sans nodded as Frisk let go of their hand to hurry off to the kitchen, leaving Sans standing at the end of the hall.  Toriel turned to face the door and spoke in a hushed voice, “ After I check on her, could you please tell me what is going on?”  

“Yeah, Tor.  I’ll tell you what I know.” Sans spoke quietly before following after Frisk.

Papyrus stood over the bed as he watched you roll onto your side in pain.  He looked up as Toriel entered the room and tried to smile, but it quickly fell.  “Lady Asgore, is there anything I can do to help my friend.”

Toriel smiled as she took a seat on the bed and gently placed her hand on your hip, “Do you know what happened to her?”  Papyrus shook his head and she sighed.  “Alright,” Toriel paused as she brushed the hair out of your face.  Your skin was cool to the touch from being outside, but she didn’t believe you had a fever.  “Can you speak Miss ____?”

“Toriel?” You mumbled softly as you opened your eye to glance at her.  You tried to offer a smile but the crack in your lip burned and you winced.

“I am glad to see that you are with us.  Could you tell me how this happened?” Toriel took her hand away from your hip as she leaned forward to hold her hand above your cheek.  “Do not be alarmed, I am just going to help lessen the bruise.”

You nodded and took a slow breath as her palm started to glow a shade of green.  You closed your eye as you as you felt the soothing aura seep, deep, into your skin.  You couldn’t help but smile as you felt pain become dull.

“Do you have pain elsewhere?  You are holding your stomach.” Her voice was warm and caring.  “Are you cold?  Your clothing is very light and does not seem appropriate for the weather outside.

“She left in a hurry from our home and did not change.” Papyrus quickly spoke up.  “I am sorry if I upset you and you felt you needed to leave…”

You quickly rolled over, ignoring the pain and reached out for Papyrus’ hand.  Toriel shifted on the bed to make sure you were within reach.  Papyrus watched you and quickly grabbed your hand and squeezed it gently.  You smiled and mouthed an apology before forcing yourself to speak..

“Papyrus, you didn’t upset me.” You felt guilty for having made him feel like this.  Gaster was the one that spoke to Papyrus earlier that night and forced you out of the house in nothing but your pajamas.  Gaster...who has been quiet since you regained control.  “I...my friend...he...I don’t know what’s happened to him.”  You paused as you squeezed one of the hands that grabbed your hand.  “I could never be really upset with you Papyrus.  I’m sorry.”

Papyrus shook his head and finally let a smile return to his face, “I am glad to hear you are not upset with me.  If there is anything I, the Great Papyrus can do to help your friend, please let me know.”

You couldn’t help but return his smile, “I’ll be sure to ask you when I need help.”  As you finished speaking you heard a soft knock on the bedroom door.  Papyrus looked up and nodded as he let go of your hand to move aside.  It wasn’t long before Sans stood in his place and Frisk leaned over the bed to get a look at you.  Worry crossed their face but Sans lightly tapped their shoulder and handed them a small tea cup.  Frisk nodded and placed the cup on the bed side table before looked up at Toriel.

“Thank you, Frisk.”  Toriel pulled her hand away and gently pat the bed next to her.  Frisk smiled as they ran behind Sans to climb up onto the bed next to their mother.  “Stay still my child.”

Sans watched you, his hands shoved back into his pockets.  You held your hand out to him but he only watched it.  “Sans...I’m okay.”  You wanted to reassure him, despite the pain you felt in your stomach.  Sans pulled his left hand out of his pocket and hesitated.  “Really...I’m okay.” You wanted to assure him.

“You scared me, kid.”  He spoke softly.  You wanted to scold him but now wasn’t the time.

“I’m sorry...I didn't mean for this to happen…” You pulled your hand away and broke eye contact with him.  You jumped as you felt his cool hand grab ahold of yours.  

Toriel cleared her throat to grab your attention, “My dear, can you tell me what has happened to cause your middle such pain?”

“I fell...I was climbing over a fence and slipped and-” You paused as you felt Sans squeeze your hand.

“It wasn’t _him_?” The was a low growl to his voice as Sans spoke.  All you could do was gently stroke the side of his hand with your thumb.

“No, I was running away from him and that’s why I climbed the fence...Catty and Bratty found me after that and helped.  The worst he did was hit me.” Sans once against tightly squeezed your hand.  “I’m okay...really Sans.  I just ache...if it wasn’t for Ga…” You quickly shut your mouth and pretended to cough.

“If it wasn’t for what?” Sans tried to press before Toriel interrupted.

“Please allow me to check for any bruising.” Toriel motioned towards your stomach and you pulled up the t-shirt you were wearing after letting go of Sans.  A purple and black bruise was visible right away and you winced as Toriel lightly pressed it.  “Do you believe anything is broken?”

“No.  I’m just sore.” You bit the inside of your cheek as she continued to check the area.  Once she was done she held her hand above the middle of the bruise before her palm began to glow green once again.  You didn’t notice at first, but the pain in your cheek and lip had stopped.

You pressed the tips of your fingers to where the split on your lip was to feel it was lacking the cut.  “It’s gone?”

Toriel chuckled at your question and nodded.  “Yes.  I am using the combination of your soul and mine to heal your bruises.”

“Magic?” You asked quietly as she nodded.

“Simply?  Yes.” You felt the warmth of her magic warm your skin and you relaxed as the pain disappeared.  “I cannot heal bones, but minor bumps and bruises I can help with confidently.”

You closed your eyes and let out a relieved sigh, “Monster magic is wonderful...yet scary…”  Toriel didn’t reply but nodded.  Frisk looked up at Sans to give him a questioning look.  Sans adverted his eyes as he leaned against the side of your bed.

“Hey...Frisk made you some tea.  It’s something we’ve have when we would visit Waterfall.” Sans said as he helped you sit up.  Toriel had pulled her hand away and you were able to adjust your shirt again.  

“It keeps you alert for battle!” Papyrus chimed in.

“I don’t think I’d like to battle…” You said quietly.  Sans chuckled and turned to grab the drink.

“It’ll help heal your soul.” Sans help hold the cup and brought it up to your mouth.  “Will make the kid happy as well.”  You looked over at Frisk who watched you cautiously.  You gave them a smile as you took a large sip from the cough.  You instantly regret it as you choked and began to cough.  Sans couldn’t help but laugh.  “Forgot to mention that it’s bitter.”

Frisk smiled as they leaned against Toriel.  She wrapped her arm around them and hugged them affectionately.  “Alright little one, it is back to bed for you.”  Frisk tried to refuse but relented as Toriel narrowed her her eyes at them.  Frisk couldn’t help but giggle as they leaned forward to hug you.  Toriel’s attention changed to you as she let out a tired sigh.  “You are welcomed to stay here until morning.  I am going to take Frisk back to bed before I go back to sleep myself.”  Frisk pulled away and sighed something, but you were unable to understand them.  Toriel smiled as she pulled Frisk back into her arms, “They are happy that you are okay and hopes that you sleep well.”

You hugged Frisk and smiled, “Thank you.  I’ll sleep well.  I’ll finish the tea you made before I fall asleep.”

Frisk nodded before stifling a yawn of their own as they allowed Toriel to carry them out of the room.  She turned back and smiled as Sans held up the cup once again.  “Papyrus, would you like to help me Frisk back to bed?”

Papyrus looked between you and his brother before turning to face Toriel.  “Oh!  Certainly!”

“Hold on Paps,”  Sans said as he made sure you were holding the cup before standing up.  “If we’re staying here tonight could you pick up a few things from home?”

Papyrus nodded, “Is there anything you’d like for me to pick up?”

“My medicine…” You requested silently.  “I’ll need to take that in the morning, and my bag.  I’d like that before you leave...”

“Grab a change of clothes for her as well Paps, she’ll need them.” Sans finally took a seat next to you as he let out a long sigh.  “I don’t need anything.”  Papyrus hesitated before looking back at Toriel.  “I’ll be with her, she’s not going anywhere else tonight.”

You hung your head as his words, guilt weighing heavy on your heart to make the two of them worry and cause Toriel any inconveniences.

“I’m sorry...I...I didn’t mean to for this to happen…” You choked as your hand found it’s way to the pendant wrapped hanging at your neck.  Your hand shook as you cried.

“Let’s let her rest,” Toriel spoke up just enough for Papyrus to hear.  He nodded before he turned once more to see his brother take his hand and wrap them around hers.  Papyrus smiled as he pulled the door shut behind him.

The light flickered off as you cried softly in the darkness, the coolness of Sans’ hand gently caressed your hand as his other arm wrapped around to gently pull you to lean against him.  He sat their quietly, letting you cry into his jacket.  You were finally warming up.  The aches and pains were gone, but the memories were not.  You shook as you let everything that had happened sink in.

“I’m...I’m sor-”

“Don’t...just tell me what happened.” Sans nuzzled your forehead as he pressed his chin against your temple.

You bit back more tears as the words caught in your throat.  “I...I…”

“If you don’t want to talk about it right now, then I can wait.” Sans paused as he pulled away to lift your face to meet his.  “Hey, look at me for a minute.”  You learned your chin into his hand as he tilted your face up towards him.  You squeezed your eyes shut as he brushed the hair away from your face.  “Come on now, look at me, please.”  You slowly opened your eye as you saw the dim lights of his eyes watch you.  There was a sadness there that only made the weight on your heart heavier.  “What’s going on?”

You watched, searched his face for any meaning to his question.  You felt lost with his words.  “What do you mean?”

“Today you have been lost in thought it seems.  Something’s been bothering you.” Sans spoke carefully as he searched for the right words, “I’ve been trying to be patient with you.  You promised, after all, that you would open up more.”  His other hand gently tugged at your hand to let go of your pendant.  You let go of the pendant only to find your fingers laced between his as he pulled you into an embrace.  “You’re soul has been getting darker for a while now.  Tonight, the light was all but gone, and I didn’t understand why you were still here.”

“Still...here?  Sans...I’m okay.  He wasn’t going to kill me.” You really didn’t know what he wanted.  You only knew him as a jerk floating by on a scholarship for his athletics.  You didn’t even share classes with him.

“You don’t know that ____!” The tone in Sans lowered slightly, making you pull away from him slightly.  “Sorry…” He apologized quickly before letting out a frustrated sigh.  “Remember what he did to you?  You can’t even tell me what happened.  What would have happened if Catty or Bratty didn’t find you?”

“I...don’t know…” You admitted.  If the two didn’t find you, you didn’t want to think about what could have happened.  You stopped Gaster from killing him, but what if he tried to kill you after that?

“Just...why?  Why did you leave the house at the hour?  What’s going on?  Today there’s been something weighing on your mind...and you almost didn’t come back tonight.  Papyrus would have never forgiven himself.  He already blames himself for-” He stopped as the sound of your sobbing grabbed his attention.  “I’m sorry.  I just...for god’s sake, don’t keep me shut out.”  He dropped your hand as he wrapped his arms around you and held you tightly.

You buried your face into his hoodie.  Your shoulder shook as you apologized over and over.  Your words muffled against the fabric as he sat there.  “Sans...I’m scared…” Your voice was hoarse, but those were the only words you could form.  All the pent of emotions you kept between you and Gaster finally came pouring out.  “Everything’s different now Sans.  I’m scared…”  

“I can’t help you if you don’t let me ____.” Sans said gently as he put a little distance between the two of you.  “Just talk to me…”

You nodded as you tried to speak.  Where could you start.  What do you tell him first.  Insecurities, doubts, nightmares, your sanity?  Your soul still felt heavy.

“Sans...I don’t...I don’t even know where to begin.”  You wiped your face as you stared down at the bed’s sheets.  “I’ve been having terrible nightmares.  Every night someone I love is taken away as I watch, and I continue to see something new every time I close my eyes.”  You jumped as Sans leaned his forehead against yours.

“Did you have another nightmare tonight?” Sans frustration was gone.  His touch was gentle, warm, safe.  He was pushing you forward, waiting for you to open up to him.

“Yeah…”  Your voice felt weak.  Could you even tell Sans you watched, no, felt him die?  The deafening silence, the cold terror you felt as the red eyes of the small demon pierced your very own soul?

“You could have woken me up to talk.” Sans sighed softly, “You took your bag with your art supplies right?  Did you try drawing anything at least?”

You shook your head, “No...but I drew a few other things that had been weighing on my mind.  It helped a bit to talk through them, and the night air actually felt nice.”

“That’s good at least.  Here…”  Sans reached over and picked up the cup of tea again.  You winced at the sight of it, not wanting to take another sip of it.  “Come on, it’s not that bad.”  Sans let out a soft chuckle as he helped to hold the cup to your lip.  You reluctantly took another drink.  You felt goosebumps raise on the back of your neck as you swallowed.

“It’s really terrible…” You managed to choke out.

“But it makes you feel better at least.”  Sans looked at the cup, satisfied with what you had more than enough to appease Frisk, he downed the rest of the tea before placing the empty cup back onto the nightstand.  There was a pause before he chose to speak again, “Want to tell me what was up at the Library last night?”

“What did you hear?” You adjusted yourself to sit with your back against the head of the bed.

“You sounded like you were talking to someone, but I didn’t see anyone else with you.” Sans shifted on the bed as he leaned against the wall next to you.  He sat to your left and pulled you to lean over onto his shoulder.

“I…” You weren’t alone.  You were speaking with Gaster, but how do you explain that to him?  Sans would think you were crazy, but you trusted him.  He trusted you, would he honestly think that?

You didn’t know.

You didn’t know if Sans would think you were crazy.  You’d hope he didn’t, but what was his limit.   Where would he draw the line at the amount of trouble you had caused him?  What could you show him to prove that you weren’t crazy?

Your soul.

“My soul…” You whispered as Sans leaned in closer to listen.

“What was that?” He leaned forward as you mumbled, watching the expression on your face.

“I want you to look at my soul...I...Sans, I have to tell you something, and I need you to see it believe me.” You looked down at your check, at the very core of your being your violet soul rested.  You were afraid, afraid to see your soul being devoured by whatever Gaster was.  

“If you’re worried I’d think you were lying, you don’t have to worry, just tell me.”  Sans gently squeezed your side with a shaky hand, not understanding your request.

“No, Sans.  Please, there’s...there’s something wrong with my soul.” This seemed to grab his attention as he sat up quickly to lean over you.  

“What’s wrong?” Sans asked as him held out his left hand in front of you. He closed his eye for a second before opening them once again.  The lights in his eyes were gone and a swirl of yellow and blue began to form as you felt the familiar tug at your center.

_What if he is gone?_

The thought was scary.  What if Gaster truly was gone?  Would your soul return to normal?  Shouldn’t you be happy he was gone?  

You weren’t.

You never thought you would have grown an attachment to the intrude that took residence inside your soul, but you did.  You didn’t harbor the same feelings for him as you did with Sans.  No, Gaster was more like an elder brother.  He kept himself well guarded.  The one thing that you knew for sure, he was alone.  He was lonely, just as you were.  You didn’t understand why, but you couldn’t bear the thought if he was gone.

**_Who are you?_ **

You were ____, who else could you be?

**_All humans possess magic.  Humans like yourself and Frisk are special._ **

Special?  Special how?  You had so many questions about magic.  Was there a difference between human and Monster magic?  What about souls?

You closed your eye, afraid to see the state of your soul.  If it was it’s regular hue, would that mean-- The pull in your chest stopped suddenly and you felt it return to its place in your core.  The awkwardness startled you to open your eyes as you saw the magic in Sans eye fade and him collapse in front of you.

“Sans?” You leaned forward as he fell into your lap.  His dead weight pinning you where you sat.  You shook his shoulder, but he wouldn’t move.  “Sans?  What’s wrong?  Sans?!”  You began to panic as you looked around the room frantically, “Toriel?!”  Your voice bounced off the walls as you heard heavy footsteps rush down the hall.  The door opened suddenly and Toriel quickly turned the lights on.

“What is it, my child?” Her voice was shaken as her eyes frantically searched for the reason for panic in your voice.  She spotted Sans and hurried to the side of the bed.  “What happened?”

“I-I don’t know!  He was fine until just now.  He just...he just collapsed!  I don’t know what’s wrong!” You shook him again as you felt your arm shake.  “Sans...wake up!”

Toriel took a seat close to the two of you and helped lift the smaller skeletal monsters off of you to lay next to you in the bed.  Without hesitation, she motioned with her hand and the room was bathed in a dull shade of indigo.  Sans’ soul floated inches from his chest.  At the sight of his soul, Toriel sighed in relief before returning it to his core.

“There is no need to worry, he will be alright,” Toriel spoke softly.  A gentle smile appeared on her face she looked up at you.

“What’s going on?  What did that mean?” Your hand had found it’s way to his hoodie and tightly gripped the fabric.  “What happened?”

“Sans will be just fine, dear.  He seemed to have exhausted himself tonight.  With some rest, he will return to his usual self.”  Toriel stood from the bed slowly, careful not to disturb him before collecting the empty tea cup from the nightstand.

“Exhausted?  So he’s just-”

“Yes, sleeping, my child.  His brother spoke briefly about this evening to me before he departed.  I do not fully understand what is going on, nor do I know if it truly my place to question you about it,”  Toriel paused as she glanced over at Sans and then towards you, “but I know one thing is true.  You are important to Sans, and what ever happened tonight, he may have been a bit reckless in his use of magic.”  

You were relieved as you leaned back against the wall once more.  “I never meant for anyone to worry...I’m...I’m just glad he’s okay.  If...if a monster uses magic they get tired?”  Toriel smiled as walked to the foot of the bed and took a seat once more.

“Do you know the difference between monsters and humans?” Toriel  set the empty cup down beside her as she folded her hands in her lap.  You shook your head as you awaited her answer.  “Our kind is made of magic.”

“Magic...but...how?” You looked back towards Sans and pulled your hand away.

“Souls are very powerful, and ours are said to be made of love, hope, and compassion.  You as a human, your bodies and souls are different.  Your kind does not need to have these qualities to exist.  A lot is still unknown, but know that our souls are what makes us who we are.  They are the source of our magic, and nothing in this world lasts forever.”

“So...he just used too much magic?” You finally noticed the slow rise and fall of Sans’ chest as he peacefully inhaled and exhaled.  “Thank goodness…”

“In the morning I would be more than happy to discuss this topic more.  For now, I think it is best that you get some rest.” Toriel picked up the empty cup once more and took to her feet.  She stopped a moment to look down at her feet before kneeling to pick something up off the floor, “This must be your bad.”

“Could you hand it to me?  I’d like...I’d like to sketch something before I fall asleep.”  Toriel nodded as she handed you the bag containing your art supplies.  You wasted little time retrieving your art pad and fishing for a pencil to sketch with, hoping they weren’t broken.

“Do not stay awake too much longer.  Rest will do you well.” Toriel smiled as walked towards the door, “If you need me, do not hesitate to call out.  When Papyrus returns I will send him off to bed before returning to mine.”

You could see the exhaustion on her face.  You returned her smile and held your art pad close to you, “Thank you Tori, for everything tonight.”

“Think nothing of it, I am happy I could help.  Though, let us not make a habit of this, shall we?” She bade you goodnight one last time before closing the door behind her, leaving the light on in the room for you.

You leaned back against the head of the bed once more as the sound of Toriel’s heavy footsteps faded down the hall.  You looked to your right to get a better look at your bag.  A small, red stain was visible at the bottom from earlier.  You adjusted the bag to no longer be able to see it, not wanting to think of that now.  You looked through the bag once more until you finally found what you were looking for.  
You placed the pencil down beside you to flip your art pad open to a blank page.  You picked up the pencil once more and placed it against the smooth surface of the page.  You glanced back over to Sans one more time before looking back at the blank page in front of you.  You took a deep breath and decided to put to paper the nightmares you’ve been having.  Starting with the first, you began to sketch the snowy forest and the silhouette of Papyrus blocking a path.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, and no amount of apologies can ever be said to express how guilty I feel it's taken so long. For those that don't follow my tumblr, I went to Anime North May 27th-29th. I had a lot of fun and saw a lot of cool cosplays. I missed the Undertale panel on Saturday because I got sick, but I still enjoyed my time at the convention. 
> 
> I was writing off and on through the week, but Friday an old filling in one of my teeth fell out which left me with a hole until I could visit a dentist on Monday last week (the 6th). I ended up having to have some teeth pulled since I do not have insurance to cover the cost of replacing the filling/root canal. Go home, mild discomfort until two days later I am in extreme pain again. My head/neck/jaw all hurt. Another tooth in my mouth hurt so bad I couldn't close my mouth. So Thursday, I go back to the dentist once again to remove yet one more tooth. I come to find out I had a terrible infection that was touching a nerve. So, after many, many shots of what ever the numbing needle had, the pain is gone. I've been taking medication for the infection, and some pain meds which have been making me sleep incredibly long hours/lose focus. 
> 
> After finally forcing myself to sit and stay awake I finally got this chapter written. It was difficult, but I finally have the ground work set for the big event I've had planned since I started writing this back in December (holy cow it's already June...) I wont make any promises when the next chapter will be, but I'm not going to end this. I'm trying to get back on a schedule, but I've broken too many promises of that to say it again. I want to say thank you for reading, thank you for continuing to come back, and those who are new to the story. You guys really do mean so much to me! Have a lovely day!


	26. Caught Between Two Souls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fanart: (I believe I messed it up and it does not show if this submission was anon or not, but I don't believe it was, I'm sorry it's not credited properly!)
> 
> Gaster protecting Reader:  
> http://kioribug.tumblr.com/post/146074821462/if-all-youre-worried-about-is-a-minor-scrapeim

Your eyes opened to a gray world.  The world was silent, and there was no sign of life.  Tall white, stone buildings loomed over you over a black sky.  The windows were shut, and those that you could see into felt like a void of darkness.  Nothing was there.  Everything was just _still_.  

As you looked from one building to another, something of color flickered to your right.  You jumped and took a few steps backward and scanned the path in front of you.  Whatever was there before, gone in an instant.  A cry echoed out in the distance, the direction the movement came from.  You swallowed as you took a slow breath, preparing yourself as you looked down to see your own two feet below you.  This wasn’t like the other dreams.  You were in control of this one.  

Before you a path formed, leading you forward.  Static filled your head as you walked along the broken path in front of you.   Behind you, the darkness ate away at everything.  There was nowhere else to go but forward.  The path filled in before you with each new step.  Following the cry you felt your chest tighten as you could make out a woman’s and child’s voices.  

_“Your fight is with me!”_

It sounded like feet shuffling against the paved street as a sharp crack interrupted the woman’s cry of anger.  A new scream filled its place, one of terror, one of pain, it belonged to someone else.

You froze as you found yourself in the main square of this silent city.  A flash of light and a monster running caught your attention to your left.  You froze as you saw them limping.  It appeared to be a woman, and she was frantically looked around.  

_“Someone?  Please!  Help me!”_

This was the woman you heard, you took a step forward but stopped as a bloodied teen appeared from the wall of buildings she was running from.  A glint of yellow could be seen out in front of him as they lifted their hand to point at the monster fleeing.  The small tool in their hand caught your attention, but it was too late.

You gasped at the sudden flash of light and the sharp crack that accompanied it echoed in the small vicinity.  You covered your ears and shielded your eye to the bright, blinding yellow flash.  The last thing you saw was the woman before she turned and held out her hands.  A green light encased her knocking the beam of light off track to ricochet into the front of one of the buildings facing the square.  The green orb around her cracked as a second and third ear-piercing bang echoed in the small space.  The woman flinched as the orb shattered around her.  She turned to run but a fourth and final shot sounded.  She cried out in pain as it connected with her back.  She flew forward, crashing hard against the ground.  She moved slightly, her cry softened to that of a whimper as she tried to reach her hand behind to the point on her back where her clothes were charred.

The teen once again approached her.  She rolled over onto her side as her body visibly vibrated and blurred.  The fear she expressed before gone, she watched as he approached and her face showed very little life.

 _“You’re the monster here...”_  Her voice was weak, and the lights of her eyes were becoming unfocused as she slowly closed them.  Her slender frame laid still against the ground as she awaiting the teen’s final act.

This wasn’t like any of the nightmares you’ve had before.  Could you help her?  What could you do?  They had a weapon, what did you have?

 **_Nothing_ **...but that didn’t stop you.

You took a deep breath before sprinting towards the man.  You stepped between the human and monster and held out your arm wide, trying to block his way.

“Stop it!  Why are you doing this?!”  You called out to the man.  You tried to be brave, to stand up to him, but your voice betrayed you.  It shook, and your body quickly trembled.  “Leave her alone!”  The man ignored you as he continued to approach.  “I told you to stop!”  Your voice continued to shake and you squeezed your eye shut as his hand holding the weapon rose once again.

“Please...don’t do this!” You begged softly to yourself, your voice dying before it left your lips.

The hair on your arm suddenly stood on end as you felt the familiar static of magic around you.  You opened your eyes once again to see the man standing in front of you frozen.  You looked down at his chest, finally making out the yellow object in front of him.  It was a soul, his human soul.  It pulsed once again and the color darkened until it was a vibrant blue.  

The teen was lifted off his feet and launched backward into the side of one of the nearby buildings.  You flinched as the man cried out in pain as the sound of broken glass and the cracking of weak wood splintered from the force of impact.  

You fell to your knees as you tightly gripped the pendant hanging from your neck.  

“Sans…” You whispered as you looked around.  He was here just like the others.  He was finally doing something, finally helping.  You weren’t seeing through his eyes, not this time

The teen emerged from the remnants of the broken glass and wood.  He stumbled to his feet but looked at you, through you.  You turned around and scrambled backward as a giant animalistic skull floated a few meters away.  You wanted to run, but you couldn’t run knowing the woman laid hurt in front of you.  

“Come on!” You called out and tried to reach for her, but you could not grab her.  Your hand slipped through her and she turned to look passed the floating skull.  You looked up again, staring at the beast hovering in front of you.  

It didn’t notice you.

You stood up, taking a deep breath as you urged yourself forward.  You held out your hand, afraid to touch the skull in front of you.  Your hand phased through it, and you sighed as you turned to look back at the human.  He was afraid, but there was something more.  Backed into a corner, he was like a feral beast, poised and ready to strike back.  His hand tightly gripped as he held it out in front of him.

“Send as many as you need!  I’ll eradicate every last one of you!”  He cried out, seething in anger.

“ _There’s only one monster here…_ ” The voice was weak as you turned to stare down at the woman.  Her hand no longer attempting to reach to the wound on her back.  She reached out passed the skull, reaching for someone.  “ _How many lives must you take until you’re satisfied?  How many families must you destroy with your actions today…_ ”

You followed her reach to notice another being.  Two disembodied hands outstretched to his sides as a tear in the world beside him opened to an abyss so dark that not even the light affected it.  A white fanged snout slowly emerged as the tear widen, allowing a second skull to hover towards the first.  They stood guard, snapping, baring their fangs to the teen who was slowly retreating away.

The tear near the man vanished with a wave of a third hand.  You took a few steps forward, wanting to get a better look at the man before you.

This wasn’t Sans...but it was someone else you were familiar with…

“Gaster?” Your lips mumbled his name as you stopped.  This wasn’t just a dream, was it?

You jumped as you felt the pressure of a heavy hand rest upon your shoulder.  You screamed as you turned and swung your arm to knock whatever was touching you away.  You stumbled and nearly fell as you felt cold fingers grip your wrist, catching you before you fell.  You turned to see what was holding you, a mix of surprise, confusion, and relief washed over you as the figure came into focus.

“How?” Relief washed over you as Gaster stood before you.  “I thought you were gone...you went silent…”

“You shouldn’t be here…”  Gaster spoke quietly as the world around you began to fade into a bright light.

“What’s going on?  What was that!  How?  You’re here...are you here?  Where is here?”  You rambled off one question after another, knowing he couldn’t answer them that quickly.

Gaster pulled his hand away as he looked passed you to the disappearing scene.  “You’ve experienced something like this before, no?”

You turned to look back as the jaws of the floating skulls split and opened wide.  The lights of their eyes faded as a beam of white light shot out towards the human.  With that, the scene was gone, and you were left to stand with Gaster in an empty abyss.

“This...is this a memory?” You asked slowly as you turned back to face the sullen monster before you.

“I had underestimated your soul.  The walls I had built up to hide these memories from you have crumbled.  You weren’t meant to see these…”  Gaster turned away and his body glided across the nonexistent floor.

“What...what does all of this mean?  I don’t understand.  What happened to the soul that is like mine?  What happened to the teenager back there?  What does this mean?  What’s going on?”  You were tired of being left in the dark.  Tired of Gaster’s secrecy.  “What are you?  What happened to you?”

Gaster stopped as his shoulders visibly sank.  “I do not have the energy to argue with you.  I do not wish to-”

“Do not walk away!” You tightly balled up your fist and flung your arm in frustration.  “Gaster!  I can’t forget what I just saw!  I can’t forget what happened last night!  You...I want to believe you helped me...SAVED me last night...but I don’t understand what’s going on.  I can’t shake these feelings I have right now!”  You finally mustered the strength to take a step forward.  “These dreams...your memories...these feelings?  She...the woman back there...she’s gone...isn’t she?”  You reached out and grabbed his hand.  Your fingers tightly gripped his hand, squeezing it desperately in yours.  Gaster turned at your words, his gaze met yours, his sullen expression never changed.  That was enough of a response for you to continue, “It hurts...there's this hole in my heart, this helplessness I feel, yet there is a sick satisfaction that lingers underneath.  You...you killed that boy...didn’t you?”

Gaster’s gaze finally fell to look at your hand that refused to let him go.  You expected him to attempt to pull your hand away, but he surprised you by gently patting it, soothing the anger you felt.

“Why?”  You felt your legs shake as you pulled on his arm.  He didn’t move, and his arm freely followed your own.  You didn’t need him to answer, you just knew.  Gaster’s free hand found it’s way to gently pet the top of your head.  He made a small nod for you to turn around.  “How can you comfort me when it should be the other way around?”  You felt your throat tighten as you gripped his hand even tighter.  “She was important to you...and she…” You couldn’t finish your sentence as you turned around and gasped.

The scene before you was Gaster cradling the woman in his arms.  He looked so small next to her.  His shoulders sagged as his vacant expression stared down at the woman.  The scene was silent as she reached up to gently caress his cheek.  Above him, his two disembodied hands tightly grasped the yellow soul.  Violet magic seeped into it, mimicking the mark you saw on the boy’s soul from last night.  The soul’s color was fading, but it was subdued within his grasp.  

The woman’s mouth moved as she reached past him to point at something that you couldn’t see.  The Gaster in front of you turned to look, the vacant expression never changing as he turned back to the woman a moment later.  His hand gripped her’s as he nodded and closed his eyes.  You felt the gentle breeze across your skin and shook as the woman crumbled in his arms.  Her body turned to dust.

You turned back to Gaster as his hand gently pet the top of your head.  “There are wounds that may never heal, I never intended for you to see these things.  You were never meant to know.”

_I won't allow anyone else to be hurt!_

Those words rang out in your head.  You looked up, searching his face for any other emotion, but you could only see a deep sadness.  “Those words… you were afraid he would…” The words fell silent as you turned back to gaze out into the abyss.  “..to me…”

“Memories are powerful.  When you allowed Sans to view your memory before, you both felt how powerful your emotions were.  I am residing within your soul where I feel everything you do, and the opposite is true as well.  I used a lot of my magic to shield myself from you.  I attempted to keep our sense of beings separated.  I had no intentions of sharing information about myself, but your magic is persistent and you are finding your way into my memories.  This is becoming too dangerous for me to continue.  I need to separate if I do not wish to be swallowed whole.”

“What are you talking about?  Swallowed whole?  How?”  You let go of his hand as he pulled away, putting a little distance between the two of you.  “You’re going to leave?  How?  We still don’t know how!”

“When we return to the space between time, I will be able to leave.”  He looked back over his shoulder to look at you, “I have one last thing I need to do before I return.  After all, this has been what you’ve wanted.”

“Space between time?  I don’t understand...what does that even mean?” You rushed to his side and stopped in front of him, blocking his path.  “I am tired of the confusing things you keep saying.  How do we get to the space between time?  How is that even possible?”

“You’ve seen it before.”  Gaster sighed as he waved his hand in front of him.  His hand was like a dagger, shredding the white abyss as a tear formed before your eyes.  The tear opened and the sight of the creatures lurking deep within the darkness was visible once again.  It pulled you into it, but you backed away.  Beyond the creatures was the thousands of reels that showed strangers played once again.  “This is the space between time.  Sans’ _shortcuts_ pass through here.”

You reached for Gaster’s hand and held it tightly as you stared into it.  “This...this is the space between time?  There’s...Sans says there’s nothing there, though…”

“You don’t believe that though, you can see something he does not.” Gaster waved his other hand and the tear closed.  It was like it was never there to begin with.  “When we pass through again, I will leave.”

“I thought you didn’t know how to separate?  You were looking for answers, did you find them?” You looked up at him, a sickness twisting in your stomach.

“I lied…” He voice was low and he pulled his hand away once again.  “When we first met...I asked you a question.  Do you not remember?”

You took a few steps away from him and gripped the pendant around your neck, “You lied to me?  Why?  What for?  I don’t understand!”

“I was curious.  I need an answer.  If I could understand what held you to your time, maybe I could return to it once again.”  Gaster placed his hand to his chin as he began to pace back and forth.  “How did you exist within this time, when you do not contain any?”

“Enough!” You yelled, frustrated with him evading your questions.

Gaster finally smiled as he turned to face you, “Who are you?”

“Stop!  Stop with this nonsense!  What are you talking about?  I don’t have any time?  What do you mean?  I don’t understand what you’re talking about!” You felt a familiar tug as your soul manifested in front of you.  It pulsed violently before you as Gaster held out his hands to cup it within his grasp.  “What are you doing?”  You choked as his hands tightly grasped your soul.  The sound of glass cracking echoed around you as pain violently shot throughout your body.  You cried out as you fell to your knees, grasping at your chest.

“I am breaking the seal...I am taking the magic you stole from me…” Gaster said slowly as his hand began to glow the familiar shade of green.  “Please bear with this for a moment longer, do not worry…”  His voice lost to you as you felt another sharp pain as the sound of breaking glass sounded around you once again.  Your soul pulsed and you cried out in pain once again.

You squeezed your eye shut, the sickening knot in your stomach twisted.  The ground below you was unstable, or maybe it was the fact that you were shaking so violently that you were unsure how you were able to hold yourself up.  

As soon as the pain had started, it faded.  It was replaced with a comforting warmth and the sound of breaking glass had stopped.  You slowly opened your eye and jumped at the fact that Gaster knelt before you.  He held out your soul in his hands to offer it back to you.  The white abyss around him crumbled as he began to fade.  A new pain took over as your head began to throb.  With each shock, the crack in the abyss grew bigger.  Static rang out in your ears before everything suddenly stopped.  Gaster's voice broke the silence.

“Whatever may happen...remember I am not your enemy…”

~ * ~

You quickly sat up in bed, gasping for air as you clutched your chest.  It took you a moment to recall your surroundings and the shifting weight to your left startled you.  You looked down at the bed and saw Sans asleep beside you, he had rolled over, pressing the side of his face into the pillow as he slept.

_I’m at Toriel’s…_

You took a deep breath as you tried to move the blanket off your lap.  It felt heavy, and you noticed your sketch pad in front of you.  You must have fallen asleep with it last night.  You don’t remember how long you had spent sketching, but you opened the pad and flipped through the pages.  

Papyrus...the room full of blue flowers...Undyne...The child wielding the knife….A blank slate, unable to ever focus on them.  You still didn’t understand why you were having these dreams.  You longed for a dreamless night.  You closed the book and set it aside as you swung your legs out of bed.

_I have one last thing I need to do before I return..._

You sat there, staring down at the floor.  Gaster was silent again, and he worried you more than ever now.  He left you with so many questions, and what did he do to your soul?  The pain was indescribable, and the sound...What had he done?  What did he need to do?

_I’m breaking the seal_

He mentioned last night about you having magic that was locked away.  That you had stolen some of his magic.  How?  You didn’t understand.  

_How did you exist within this time, when you do not contain any?_

You were timeless, but what did that mean?  

_Who are you?_

All these questions.  What did they mean?  What did he mean, what does the seal being broken mean, who are you, WHAT are you?  Besides the dull pain throbbing in your head, you felt the familiar prickling pain to your right as you instinctively reached to hold it.  You stopped as your hand found itself gripping the fabric of your shirt at your side.  You didn’t miss having this pain.

“Hey?” A groggy voice called out from behind you.  You turned around and offered a small smile.

“I didn’t wake you...did I?” You turned to face him.  The lights in his eyes were still dim, but you assumed it was because he was still tired.

Sans shook his head as he propped himself up on his elbow.  He leaned forward to hold out his left hand to rest on your elbow.  “You doing alright?”  You watched as his gaze followed to where your hand rested.  His eyes met yours and you quickly averted your eyes.

“Yeah, I’m okay...just everything is back to normal.” You let go of your side to rest it beside you on the bed.  Sans’ hand slid down the side of your arm to find yours.  “What about you?  You collapsed last night…”

Sans lightly laughed as he squeezed your hand, “I guess I overdid it a bit looking for you last night.  Didn’t mean for you to see me like that.”

“I’m just glad you’re okay.” You whispered softly, “I didn’t mean for you to-”

“Hey, I’m the one who chose to use a bit more magic than I should have.  I’m fine, really.  I just needed some rest to be good as new.”  Sans squeezed your hand again, reassuring you.  “I was just bone tired.”  He smiled as you chuckled softly at his pun.  He laid there for a moment, lightly caressing the top of your hand with his thumb. “It’s still early, come back to bed.”

You laughed, but you didn’t want to sleep anymore.  You shook your head, “No, I want to get up.  I want to thank Toriel and get something to eat.”  You paused before you leaned over to gently kiss his cheek, “Go ahead and sleep a little longer.  I’ll be here when you wake up, promise.”

Sans shrugged and laid back down as he pressed the side of his face into his pillow.  He was quiet for a moment before he looked back up to meet you gaze, “I want to talk later.”

You nodded, “Yeah, I want to talk too…”

Sans broke his gaze as the lights of his eyes went out.  “Me too…”

You forced yourself to stand, walking towards the bedroom door.  You paused and looked back towards Sans.  He still seemed to have fallen asleep quickly.  You smiled as you turned back to the door and quietly opened it.

Toriel’s home was warm, and the Christmas decorations had been put away.  The home had many pictures framed on the walls.  You walked down the hall towards the living room, glancing at the family photos of Toriel, Frisk, and occasionally spying Papyrus and Sans in a few.  You stopped as you entered the living room.  

Toriel sat in her chair quietly reading.  She wore a pair of small framed reading glasses.  She wore a smile as she appeared lost in her book.  She only looked up when you took another step into the room.  She offered you a gentle smile and grabbed a small bookmark from the arm of her chair to place within the pages of her book.  She closed it and removed the glasses from her face, “Good morning my dear.”

You returned her smile, “Good morning.”

She placed her book on the table beside her chair and stood up, “How are you feeling today?  Did you sleep well?”

“I slept well,” You paused as you gently touched your stomach.  “I’m feeling alright.”  You still felt uneasy, and you were at a loss at what to do about Gaster, but you would figure that out later.  “Did Papyrus come back?”

Toriel nodded as she walked over to the window overlooking the front yard.  It didn’t take long to realize what she was looking at when you heard a familiar “Nyeh!” call out.  “Papyrus returned with a change of clothing and medicine you requested.”  She turned away from the window and took a few steps towards the kitchen, “You must be hungry, allow me to make you breakfast.”

You followed her to the kitchen and noticed the small bag sitting on the counter.  Toriel nodded to it before she walked over to the sink to wash her hands.  “There are the things that Papyrus has brought back for you.”  She paused as she grabbed a towel to dry her hands and look towards the refrigerator, “I was not expecting so many people this morning.  I am sorry I do not have anything prepared.”

“No, no.  It’s fine.  I’m sorry for the mess I’ve caused you…” You apologized as you rummaged through the bag.  You pulled out the small bag with your medicine to set on the counter before walking towards the sink.

“It was a surprise, but I am glad that you are feeling better this morning.  Is Sans doing better?” Toriel noticed you and opened a cabinet near her to hand you a small glass.

“He is sleeping, I’m not honestly sure, but he looked alright.  I wish I could see what you guys could see…” You paused, “You can see each other’s souls, right?”

Toriel nodded when you glanced at her.  She thought to herself for a moment before opening another cabinet to grab out a loaf of bread, soft butter, and a few small plates.  “Souls are very personal ____.  We can sense each other’s souls, but we cannot see them unless they are manifested outside of ourselves.”

You thought back to last night.  Toriel pulled Sans’ soul out to see his condition.  You were still confused by what Sans meant before though.

“Sans...mentioned that he could see my soul before.  How it was darker…” You began, Toriel turned, listening but chose not to speak.  “He said that when he first showed me, my soul...Can monsters pull out someone’s soul without them knowing?”

Toriel shook her head, she looked at you, no, through you, before she forced her gaze to meet yours.  “We can feel hope.  To explain it in a way that you can understand, have you seen a mother after her child has been born?”

You shook your head, “Not in person, no, but in movies I have.  Does that count?”

Toriel smiled, “We’ll count them.”  She paused as she carefully chose her words, “When the mother sits, holding her child, you can see her happiness, glowing?  That is the term I believe I’ve heard people up here use before.”

You nodded, “Yeah, I’ve heard that term before.  People say that about a bride, or when a woman…” You paused, maybe that wasn’t appropriate to mention here.  You blushed and shook your head, “Nevermind...but I understand…”

“That is hope, my dear,” Toriel smiled before turning back to grab flour, cinnamon, and other ingredients from the shelves before grabbing eggs and milk from the refrigerator.  “We can see that very clearly, but we cannot see your soul.”

“Hope...that...that’s kinda scary…” You found the pendant around your neck and held it gently between your fingers.

“It can be.” She sighed as she looked away from her countertop to look back at you again.  “I have not known you for very long, and we only met like this twice now, but you have gained hope since the last time we met.”  Toriel approached you and wrapped her arms around you gently.  “When I spoke to you alone to thank you for helping my family, you were very fragile.  Your soul was dark, but now your soul is much brighter.  Last night your soul may have been darker, but as of this morning, I can see the light returning once again.”

“Toriel?” You spoke softly, surprised by her words and actions.  She was soft, but she was incredibly warm.  She cared deeply for everyone around her, and she showed you that very same kindness.  You wrapped your arm around her back and returned her hug, “Thank you...thank you for everything…”

Toriel finally let you go, but her right hand rested on your elbow, “Souls are very complex, but each one is beautiful and unique.”

“You said last night that your magic is tied to your soul, everyone can use magic?” You needed to word this carefully.

“Not everyone.” She corrected you quickly, “Monsters are magical by nature, but everyone is different.  No one’s magic is the same as another’s.”  

“Humans can use magic too?” You asked, hoping to find answers.

Toriel hesitated.  She pulled her hand away and returned to the meal she was preparing.  “Humans…” She paused, “...their magic was not quite the same as ours.”

“How was it different?” You wanted answers.  Gaster mentioned you possessed magic, but you didn’t know what that meant.  “Humans can’t use magic anymore?”

“This matter is hard to explain…” Toriel sighed.  You could sense her discomfort.  “The magic a human hold behaves differently than ours.  As a human, you hold a far more powerful trait than monsters.  We call this determination.”

“Determination?” You grabbed the glass Toriel had grabbed for you and filled it with water.  Your back was to her, but you could hear her deep sigh.

“Last night you saw what happens to a monster when they recklessly use magic.” You could hear Toriel crack a few eggs against the counter behind you as she spoke.  “Determination makes the impossible possible.”

“So...miracles?” You asked as you turned and leaned against the counter top.

“That all depends on the intent of the human…” Toriel paused as she looked back over her shoulder, “Miracles can, and have happened.”

“You mean what Frisk did?” You asked.  An egg dropped to the floor at Toriel’s feet.

“What do you know about Frisk?” Toriel held a towel in her hand, and she watched you, confused by your question.

**_You should choose your words wisely.  If your memory serves correctly, the child that saved everyone was never named.  I was the one to give you the name Frisk..._ **

You jumped at Gaster’s sudden interjection.  You choked on the water you were swallowing.  You cleared your throat.  Gaster was right, he was the one that told you about Frisk.

“I um...I mean...you’re the queen of Monsters, right?” You tried to change the subject.

“That is a title I no longer hold, but please explain what you meant earlier.” Toriel pushed as she slowly knelt to the floor to pick up the egg shells from the floor.

“I uh...they said a child saved you guys...and I ...just assumed Frisk had something to do with it?  I mean...they are living with you...the former queen I mean…” You hoped that would satisfy her.

Toriel sat quietly on the floor before heaving a heavy sigh.  “You are right.  Frisk is the child that the media spoke about.  Asgore and I had requested that they please respect their privacy and not give out any identifiable information.”  Once the mess had been cleaned from the floor, she stood once again and approached you.  You moved aside so that she could wash her hands and waited for her to speak again.  “I suppose I should not be surprised that you would come to that conclusion.  It would make the most sense as to why Frisk is living with me.” She dried her hands and turned to you once more, “Frisk is a very special child.  There is more to them that I could ever begin to explain.  They were able to unite a people and remind us that not all humans lack compassion.”

**_There are many things even she does not know about Frisk…_ **

“I don’t understand what you are talking about!” You hissed as you squeezed the glass within your hand, it cracked in your hand.

“____?” Toriel turned to you and placed her hands over the glass.

You realized you spoke out loud again.  Your cheeks flushed and your anger dissipated, “I’m sorry!  I wasn’t talking to you I was-”

**_Do not tell her…_ **

“To whom my child?” Toriel finally convinced you to let go of the glass and placed it in the sink.  She checked your hand and sighed in relief when she saw you were okay.

The two of you had finally begun to talk.  It wasn’t like you were trying to see into his memories, you didn’t understand why you were seeing them begin with.  It was like when he first really spoke to you as a person at the library.  He was choosing to run from his own problems now.  Had he always been speaking from experience?  Gaster was ready to leave, and you still wanted answers.  

“Myself, I was talking to myself…” You didn’t want to hide him anymore.  You didn’t have to hide him, all you had to do was speak up.

Toriel gently squeezed your hand before letting it go.  “You look pale, are you sure you are feeling alright?”

“I’m fine...I just have a headache…”  It wasn’t a lie.  Between your phantom pains, and the dull headache, you still didn’t feel one hundred percent.  You sighed as you walked towards the kitchen table.

Toriel went back to preparing the food she was making.  Silence fell between the two of you, and you felt like your chance to find answers to some of your questions was not lost.  You needed more information.

“You mentioned last night that human souls are different than a monster soul.  That our kind doesn’t require love, hope, and compassion.”  You leaned against the back of your chair and turned your head as you heard the bedroom door from the other side of the house open.  Sans wobbled out as he stifled a yawn.  

Toriel pulled out a skillet a lower cabinet before setting on the stove near her.  She adjusted the heat before answering your question, “That is correct.  A human is a lot more complex than a monster.”

You could hear Sans walk up behind you and place a cool hand on your shoulder.  He gently squeezed it as he looked towards the kitchen, “Morning Tori.”

Toriel turned and smiled brightly, “Good morning Sans.  Go ahead and take a seat as I finish making breakfast.”

“Sounds good.” Sans nodded as he left you to find a chair.  He pulled it up next to you and quickly stole your hand into his.  “You still hurting?”

“Yeah, but I’ll be okay.” You squeezed his hand gently and looked back towards Toriel.  “Is that why our souls are different colors?  They represent us, right?  Like Sans’ soul.”  You turned towards him and absently stared at the space in front of his chest, “It’s indigo, it means integrity right?”  Sans’ grip on your hand tightened and you flinched.  “Sans?”

“Where did you hear that?” Sans turned to you, pulling your chair for you to properly face him, “How did you know that?”  You leaned back against the chair as you watched the lights of his eyes focus on you, searching for something.  His tone was steady, but he was being serious.

“What do you mean?” You didn’t understand where this suddenly came from.

“You said my soul’s color meant integrity.  Where did you learn this?  Alphys?  Did you look through papers in my room?”  Sans’ grip on your hand was tightening, and his sudden forceful questions made you uncomfortable.

“Sans...you’re hurting me.  I haven’t talked to Alphys about souls...only you and Toriel.  I haven’t looked through your things, what’s wrong?”

“How about the time you were looking for this?”  Sans’s other hand pulled on the pendant around your neck.  You flinched and pulled your hand away from his to hold it.

“I didn’t snoop through your things!  What’s going on?  Why are you acting like this?” You pushed the chair back, putting a little distance between you and Sans.

“Then how!” Sans quickly stood to his feet and leaned over you, “That information was classified.  Who told you?”

You sunk back into your chair, “Sans...you’re scaring me…”

Sans hesitated and his serious expression soften as he sat back down.  He gently cupped your hand in his.  You flinched, and he sighed.  “Sorry...just...this is serious...how did you learn this?”

**_You can’t tell them how you found out._ **

Gaster spoke quickly, and you bit your tongue.

“My friend…” You said quietly.  

Sans leaned closer as Toriel removed the hot pan from the burner on the stove.  She left the kitchen and came to stand near Sans and yourself.   Toriel leaned down and rested her hand on your shoulder, “Child, please tell us what your friend has told you.”

**_Do not tell them anything!_ **

You couldn’t hide it anymore.  Deep within you, you could feel Gaster’s anger, his anxiousness, his fear.  He couldn’t stop you from asking for help now…

“Gaster…” You coughed as you felt the familiar tightness close around your throat.

**_____!_ **

“Gaster?” Sans looked up to Toriel.  The two of them shared a glance between each other before returning their attention to you.

**_Do not do this!  Do you not understand they will believe you to be insane?_ **

You cried softly as you squeezed your eyes shut.  Like a jolt of electricity, you felt a painful surge pulse through your skull.  

“____!” Sans called out as he gripped your hand tightly in his.

You pulled your hand away from Sans and pressed it against your forehead.  The pain was unbearable, and it reminded you of the night you met Gaster.  “Please stop!” You begged as you felt another wave of pain.  

“My child, please tell me what is wrong!” Toriel pleaded as she rested her hand on your back.

“Why are you doing this?” You whispered hoarsely.

**_Nothing good will come from telling them I am here.  It will not matter!_ **

“Who?  What’s going on?”  Sans let out a frustrated sigh, “Dammit what’s going on?”

“Gaster…” You whispered, trying to ignore the pain and tightness around your throat, “He’s here…”

“Where?  Where is he?” Sans looked around Toriel’s home.  “Show yourself!”

You shook your head and reached out to hook your hand in Sans’ jacket, “No...that’s not what I meant!”

**_Do not make me do this!_ **

The door in the foyer opened as Papyrus hurried in followed closely by Frisk.  The two were smiling and laughing but stopped when they saw.

“Sans?  ____?  What’s wrong?” Papyrus spoke up first as he quickly looked around.  He instinctively stopped in front of Frisk, who pushed their way around him to vigorously sign.

“A bit preoccupied kid,” Sans began as he glanced to Frisk before looking back to you.  Frisk quickly stamped their foot on the ground, but Sans still focused on you.

“What do you mean?” Papyrus looked down at Frisk and tilted his head to the side.  He rested his chin in one of his gloves before looking back towards you.

**_We need to leave._ **

“It’s just Sans, Lady Asgore, and ____, Frisk.  There’s no one else there.” Papyrus turned back to Frisk who shook their head and pointed towards you.

You looked up at Frisk who stared at you.  They pointed again and started to sign once again.  You felt your blood run cold as you felt Gaster’s grip on you tighten.

Sans stopped as he turned to Frisk.  Toriel spoke up first as she approached Frisk to take them to another room, “Frisk, come with me.”

Sans looked up at Papyrus.  The two exchanged a concerned look before turning their attention to you.  Sans pushed you to sit up in the chair, he held his left hand out and you saw the lights of his eyes fade.  The familiar yellow and cyan coloring returned to his left eye as you felt him pull at your core.  

“I don’t really follow, but if you’re sure…”  Sans focused as he pulled your soul out.  He furrowed his brow, but a breath caught as he finally caught a glimpse of your soul.

Toriel turned as the room was bathed in the violet glow of your soul.  She gasped as she pushed Frisk behind her.

**_You left me with no choice…_ **

You felt your hand forcefully press against Sans shoulder, causing the two of you to stumble apart.  You fell to the floor and quickly pushed yourself to your feet.  

“Sans!” Papyrus called out as he rushed to his brother’s side.  He helped him up and turned to look at you.  “What are you doing ____?”

You watched as your soul floated effortlessly in front of you.  It had to be your soul.  You watched as your hand outstretched to it.  The soul followed the palm of your hand, and you realized what was going on.

You felt yourself turn, your feet carrying you towards the door but you stopped as you saw the color of your soul shift from violet to blue.  You felt the familiar weightlessness as your body was pulled from the ground.  Your breath left you as your body collided with the ceiling pinning it there.

Below you Sans held out his hand, glaring up at you.  “What the hell is going on!”

You wanted to call out, beg for him to stop, but you couldn’t speak.  You watched as your hand reached out slowly, struggling against Sans magic.  You saw the familiar tendrils of Gaster’s magic wrap around your arm.  The room mixed with a new color as Sans’ soul was pulled in front of him.

_D͖̘̙ȏ᷾̏n̟̮᷂’̤̰᷃̿t̟͐͑ do this!_

It was already too late.  You felt helpless as you watched, disconnected as Gaster obtained control of you again.  You could feel Gaster’s magic envelop you, but this time, you wouldn’t willingly allow it to cut off your senses.  You felt an unfamiliar warmth at your core.  

Sans crashed into the table behind him, causing it to flip and crash to the floor.  Your body fell from the ceiling it was pinned to.  Gaster easily lifted himself to his feet and sighed.

_Sans!_

Your violet soul floated effortlessly in the palm of your outstretched hand.  The light was fading, and a blackness tightly weaved itself around it.  You heard yourself sigh, and Gaster shifted your posture to lean to one side.  Sans glared at your soul before looking up at you.  Papyrus rushed to his side and helped pull him to his feet.  

_G̴͓̭a̴͉̚s̴͓͚t̴̢ͮe̷̴͍͖͉r̴ͥ̕!̴͍̜̼ͭ Don’t do this!_

“So the kid was right.” San brushed his jacket off and glanced towards Toriel who held Frisk back. Sans sighed as he shoved his hands into his hoodie’s pockets, “You going to explain who you are, and what you’re doing to ____?”

Gaster watched the two in front of him before glancing at the soul he held in your hand.  He watched it before glancing back to Sans, “It does not matter who I am.  It means nothing now.  You have my name, and that is all you need.”  Papyrus watched your soul and quickly glanced between the two.  He looked back to Sans and Gaster let out a frustrated noise.  “She is not enjoying my method, but you can rest assured she is fine.”

Sans’ left hand fell from his pocket as he took a few steps forward.  Gaster refused to take a step back but he held your soul close.  Sans smiled as his magic wrapped around his fingers, “I’m not going to ask again, who are you!” The magic in Sans’ eye swirled violently as he focused on your soul.

Gaster smiled as he watched the fanged skull emerge from it.  “There’s no reason to be rash.”  Gaster held up your soul, “What do you think would happen if you continue this?”  

Frisk pushed past Toriel and rushed to stand by Sans’ and Papyrus’ side.  Papyrus quickly knelt down to speak with Frisk.  Papyrus kept an eye on you as he quietly spoke to Frisk.  “Do not worry tiny human.”

_Gaster p͇᷀ͨļ͔ͨeͨ̇̚a̡̯ͨș̯ͨȩ͖ͨ...donot do this!  Allow me to e͌̚͢x̴͌᷁p̠͌̇ͅl͚͌͠a̱ͭ͌ǐ͌̀n̑͌̄ everything!_

“Yes, do not worry.  I will not harm her, or her... _friends_ …” Gaster ignored your words, but in his words, you felt a deep pain.

Toriel stood up and held out her hands, “Frisk, please let us handle this.”  Her attention quickly changed to you as Gaster turned to look back at her.  He took a few steps back, attempting to keep everyone within view.  “If you will not answer that question, would you answer another?”  Toriel paused as Gaster looked to her, waiting.  “Did you help her last night?”

_Tell them y̩̫᷿̮̒o̶͂̇u͈͎̟ did!  Gaster just c̴͓̍o̴̳ͤo̴̒͆p̴̷͝ě̴̷r̴̃᷀a̴̺᷄t̴̨͋ē̴̿!̴̬͜  Please, d͇̍̍o̍᷄̍n̍̒̍’᷊̍̍t͖̍̍᷀̍ give them the w̷̯̥r̯̘̓o͇̯͟ṅ̺̯ģ̴̯ idea!_

**“Be quiet!”** Gaster lets go of your soul to rub the temple on your forehead.

Gaster stumbled back and bumped against the wall.  The tables had turned.  You were gaining control again somehow.  You felt Gaster fighting you.  Sans saw he was distracted and leaped forward.  He reached out and took a firm hold of your soul.  Gaster jerked as he felt Sans’ magic wrap around his.  Gaster quickly regained control over you as he desperately reached out.  He forced your hand too tightly grasp Sans’ soul before your consciousness quickly faded.  Gaster’s words echoed within you before you fell unconscious.

**_“Try and find me…”_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader only wanted her questions answered...not this...
> 
> We're setting up to finally reach the middle point of Patchwork... I'm sorry for the abrupt end, but I don't want to rush the next part. I am going to keep this text short as well because I'm afraid I'm going to ramble about spoilers.
> 
> Either way, working on trying to update more often again. Things are finally calming down where I can sit and actually write again. 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! I truly appreciate it! For updates, be sure to follow my Tumblr: http://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	27. Breaking Down

You gasped as you awoke in the darkness.  You reached out, grasping for anything, no light, no sound,  no warmth.  You felt like it was suffocating you.  You were tired.  So many emotions twisted and weighed heavily on your chest.  

Loneliness, anger, fear, grief, regret…

_“I got you.”_

His voice was familiar, and the darkness that swallowed you shattered as you felt his cool hand grab yours.  

“Sans?” You weakly called out.

As soon as you could see him, he pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly.  “Thank god you’re alright.” His grip was tight, slightly painful, but you leaned against him as you wrapped your arm tightly around him.

“Sans, I’m sorry.  I don’t know what’s going on… I-” You paused as a familiar voice forced a catch in your breath.

_“You bitch!”_

You pushed yourself away from Sans and looked behind him.  You could see yourself, on the ground.  The boy pushed his friend away who had grabbed him and approached you.  He grabbed the back of your coat and lifted you, dragging you over the sidewalk and ice before throwing you.

_“What was in that bag!”_

You felt Sans wrap his arm around you and hold you close as he turned to watch.  He didn’t say any words, but his grip on you was firm.  

 _“Coward…”_ Sans whispered as he helped you to your feet.  

You buried your face into his hood.  You knew what was going to come next.  The lab, the violet soul.  You grasped for your pendant, but it was missing.  You pulled away from Sans, but he refused to let you go.  “Sans please...it’s gone!”

Sans looked up as he cupped your face, forcing you to look at him, “What’s wrong?  What’s gone?”

“My pendant...I had it, but now it’s gone!  I don’t know-” You stammered.

“Don’t worry about it.  It’s not important.” Sans tried to distract you but you pulled further away.

“No!  It’s important!  It reminds me you’re-” You began before Sans cut you off.

“Hey, I’m right here.  Just focus on me…”

You grabbed his hand and turned back as you heard the sounds around you garble.  The memory before you faded, leaving the two of you standing in the black abyss as the sound droned on.  “What’s going on?”

“Don’t know.  Something isn’t right.” Sans looked around and paused.

You squeezed his hand as you felt your heart flutter.

_“I don’t want to force you…”_

You heard your voice speak clearly, and a distant chant could be heard in the distance.  Your heart ached, but you felt light as the voice and figured became clearer.  

_“You’re not.”_

The both of you looked to your left.  You could see yourselves standing outside the parking garage.  You could feel your cheeks flush as you watched as Sans from your memory pulled your hand to his mouth.

_“But...you said we wouldn’t work…”_

You felt the familiar warmth in your chest and you couldn’t help but try to hide your face.  It didn’t last long as this memory too distorted.  It’s colors faded, mixing with the sounds of the previous memory.  All of this was making you anxious, this shouldn’t be happening.

_“If you want to talk about what's troubling you I'm all ears...or at least I would be if I had them.”_

You gasped as the anxiety you felt tighten around your chest.  The mix of all the emotions was suffocating and was making it hard to breathe.

“Sans?  I don’t understand...this needs to stop.” You begged as you pulled away.  You looked around, unable to see the memory you were not hearing.

_“H-how?”_

You didn’t need to see what was going on, but it felt like everything was spinning around you.  Fear bubbled up inside of you, and you dreaded what it could be showing you next.

“Look, the lady ain’t interested.”

That was Sans...you think it was Sans at least.  It felt like everything was speaking to you at once.  The memories were overwhelming you as you tried to move away.

“Why are we here Sans?  What’s going on?  I...this is wrong...it’s broken...why is it broken?”  You begged as you felt yourself take small quick breaths.

“I dunno kid I am just-” Sans began before you interrupted.

“Don’t call me kid!”  You weren’t even sure if it was your own voice, or your memory speaking now.  You felt dizzy, sick, and it was only getting worse.

“Sorry…” Sans voice felt distant.  He was next to you, wasn’t he?  

“Sans?”  You called off quietly.

Just as it all began to boil over, you felt it calm.  It was still present.  It was painfully welling up in your chest, but it was tolerable.  You opened your eyes and stopped as you looked around.  You were standing in the pharmacy near your house, but you felt lost.  It was familiar, yet unfamiliar at the same time.  You turned around and sighed when you saw Sans.  He was looking at something, but you were just glad that he was still nearby.

“Sans...I’m sorry I snapped...I just...this is too much.”  You held out your hand and jumped as it phased through him.  “Sans?!”

You jumped as another person passed you, a girl bundled in a hat and coat.  She kept her head low as she stood next to Sans.  It took you a minute as you watched Sans look up and watch you.  You had picked up a box and slipped it into your coat.  You felt embarrassed, it did look like you were stealing.

_“I...I'm sorry you startled me...”_

You nearly let out a scream as you felt someone’s hand rest on your elbow and took a few steps away.

“Just me...we shouldn't separate, can get lost in here…” Sans looked up and sighed.  “I was wondering if this was going to happen…”

“That what was going to happen?” You snapped.  “I’m tired Sans...if you know what’s going on please just-”

_“Sorry I rattled your bones, but do you think you can lend me a hand?”_

“I wasn’t sure...I’m still not exactly sure what’s going on.  That thing inside of you, that monster?  He has a hold of your soul.  I just thought, maybe, that if I could grab your soul I could get to him.  I didn’t, no, I couldn’t hurt you...”  Sans paused as the memory continued on around the two of you.

_“Your child is sick?”_

This wasn’t like your memory, you just felt numb.  Empty.  You were tired.

“Sans...what is this?” You were far too distracted with how you were feeling than focus on his words.  “I don’t feel...before I felt so much...but this...this is worse...I don’t feel anything.  What does that mean?”  You looked at him, searching his face for anything.  Sans could only avert his eyes.

“Everyone wears a mask.” Sans shrugged, “It’s not important.” Sans tried to distract you as he laced his fingers with yours.  “Focus on me…”

The sounds began to fade into the background.  It blurred with your memories.  It just didn’t settle right with you.  You felt anger bubble up inside you and you weren’t sure if wanted to know why.  

“Sans...these are...these are your memories, right?”  You tried to ignore the white walls that surrounded the two of you.  You had spent far too much time in that place to not be able to recognize it.  You felt your heart drop as you saw yourself in Sans memory.  You forced yourself to look away.

“It looks like it.”  Sans paused as he pulled you back to him.  “This is why I didn’t want you to touch it before.”  You felt his fingers run through your hair as he tried to distract you, but his fingers stopped and you felt his fingers press into your scalp, “Look, this,” he pulled away and motioned towards the memory playing out before you.  “This isn’t what’s important right now.  We need to find him.”

“Who?” You pulled yourself away as you tried to block out the building emotions you felt from Sans memories.  You were numb, and it was swallowing you whole.  You’ve felt this before.  You recognized it.  Before you met Sans and Papyrus, you went on with your life, but you weren’t actually living.  You existed, but that’s all it was.

“Him...the name you mentioned before, that was Gaster, wasn’t it?” Sans let out a frustrated sigh as he let go of you.  He ignored the new memory forming where he stood silently behind you as you cried on the library floor.  You looked past him and tightly grabbed at the collar of your shirt.  “Why didn’t you say anything?  Why didn’t you...trust me?”

“I do trust you, Sans!” You choked as you watched yourself sob.  You had let out a lot of things that built up over the years that you thought didn’t bother you.  Gaster poked at those wounds and you were able to speak out loud.

_“I can’t bear to lose anything else.”_

You pressed your hand to try and block out the sounds as Sans spoke again.  “How long?  How long has he been...here?”  Sans let out another frustrated noise.

“I don’t know...I think since New Years?  I don’t remember.”  That was only a few days ago.  Now that you think about it, it’s not been even been a week.  How did you not even notice?  When did you become comfortable with Gaster being within you?  You were freaked out at first, at least you thought you were.  What changed so suddenly to make his presence okay in such a short amount of time.

“New Years?” Sans voice fell silent, only making the memory around you louder.

_“...he means so much to me…”_

You felt Sans move away, distance himself from you.

_No... don't do this…_

“Sans please, I was going to tell you!” You yelled as you felt your head begin to spin.

“Enough!” Sans turned around and watched you for a moment before he spoke again.  “I just don’t understand.  When were you planning on telling me?”

“Last night, I swear!” You felt a burning at your core as we spoke.  Your mind raced and you could no longer focus.  “I wanted you to look at my soul...remember?”  Sans didn’t reply, but you could barely hear his sigh.  “I wanted to tell you, I just didn’t know how.”

“You didn’t even try.” Sans’ voice sounded so distant as the voices and muddled sounds around you rumbled

You felt your heart sink as those words echoed in your mind.  It mixed and distorted with everything else.  You were dizzy, your chest felt heavy, and the what you were having trouble figuring out just exactly how you were feeling.  You remembered the last time you experienced your memory with Sans.  The fire was all too real once again.  This, all of this wouldn’t be so bad if it was just one memory, but this wasn’t the case.  This was wrong, this _felt_ wrong.  Your memories, Sans’ memories, everything was bleeding together.  The emotions were piling up on top of your own.  This was all too much.  Everything was so loud, you needed the silence.

This needed to stop…

“Just stop!  Stop it!” You pressed the palm of your fist into your temple, chanting for the noise around you to stop.

“Stopstopstopstopstop--”

“Hey, calm down.  Look, I’m sorry, we’ll have time to discuss this later.” Sans approached you once again and knelt down to lightly shake your shoulder.  You didn’t even realize you had fallen to the floor.  

You wanted to focus on him so badly, but you couldn’t.  The hope, the numbness, the dread, the fear, all of it.  What was yours, what was his, what were you feeling now?  You couldn’t tell anymore.  You felt yourself knock away the arm touching you as you swung your arm high above your head.

**_“S͖᷊͠t̬̥̣o̧̦ͩp̭̹̿ t̺̤̉ḧ᷂̅i̵̽̀͟s̟͎̋!̧̞͊”_ **

You balled your hand into a fist before slamming it on the ground in front of you.  The sound ceased as you slowly looked up.  Sans sat in front of you.  His hands outstretched to you but hovered a short distance away.  He was watching you, his brow furrowed.  His eyes narrowed as his pupils searched your face quickly.  

What was he looking for?  Why was he looking at you like that?

You wanted to ask but the familiar sound of shattering glass broke the silence.  The memories around you cracked and crumbled, but the weight of the emotions had been lifted.  You still felt anxious and lifting your hand you could feel yourself shaking.  You tried to look around, away from Sans, but he quickly caught you and cupped your face in his palms.

“Sans?” It startled you just how strong his grip was.  He was careful not to hurt you, but you still tried to pull away as he moved his face closer to yours.  He was focused on something.  “Sans?  What’s wrong?”

“Your eye…” Sans quickly let go of your face as he realized what he was doing.  “Sorry…” He spoke softly as he looked up and around at the shattering memories.  “What did you do?”

_What did I do?_

What did that even mean?  You didn’t understand.  You held your hand up to your eye and gasped as a light purple light reflected off the palm of your hand.  You looked around again before a low chuckle filled your ears from behind you.

_“You!”_

Before you could stand Sans was already to his feet and placed himself between you and the owner of the laugh.  You didn’t even need to turn to know who it belonged to.

“Gaster…” You said quietly as you pushed yourself to your feet.  As you got a better look at him, you gasped as you noticed the object held within his hand.  “My pendant!”

Gaster stood a short distance away from you, the chain wrapped entwined in his fingers as the heart dangled off the side of his hand.  It spun in his hand as he looked passed you, not really paying the two of you any attention.

“This is a wonderful development.”  Gaster hummed as he was lost in thought looking around at the shattered memories.  “This manifestation of magic is far more fascinating...”

Sans left your side as he charged at the taller monster.  Gaster turned and held out the hand that held your pendant.  It reflected the blueish-yellow glow that emitted from Sans’ left eye as Gaster’s purple magic enveloped his extended limb.

You don’t know why, but the yellow soul from earlier flashed into your memory as you called out, “Sans!  Stop!”

Sans didn’t listen as he charged forward, the only thing that made him stop was the sudden manifestation of a familiar blue soul appearing above Gaster’s outstretched hand.  He stopped a few feet before Gaster and tightly clenched his fists.  

“ _Coward!_  Are you afraid to face me fairly?” Sans let out a low growl as he glared at Gaster.  The smile that he wore before was gone.  His face became sullen as he held the soul of the monster before him.

“I have no interest in fighting you…”  Gaster spoke quietly as his magic flared up and stretch out to lap at the bottom of the small soul.  “Please do not force my hand…”

You watched, horrified as you felt a tightness in your chest.  You were afraid, you were nervous, there was a terrible guilt deep within you.  Why?  You haven’t done anything wrong.  You watched Gaster.  He wore the same expression he showed you this morning.  

“Why are you doing this?”  You called out as your feet carried you to Sans’ side.  You pulled on his arm and took a few steps back from Gaster.  “You don’t want to do this!”

Sans pulled his arm from your grip and turned back, he hesitated before speaking, “Don’t try to reason with him!”

You shook your head and forced yourself passed Sans and stood between the two.  “This...this isn’t right.  Please, just listen to me, Sans.  I know that this looks bad, but trust me, Gaster isn’t-”

“Trust you?” Sans couldn’t help but let out a small laugh as he scoffed the mere thought, “Trust you like you trust me, right?”

“Sans?” The way he said it stung.  He didn’t really mean that, did he?  Sans looked passed you as he glared up at Gaster.

“You’ve been with her a while.  You were there last night right?” Sans watched as Gaster acknowledged his question, but did not speak.  “Right…” Sans turned back to you, the magic in his eye faded and his white pupils returned to his eyes.  They were dim, and his voice had a gentle shake to it.  “Guess you can’t help it right?  All you need is for someone to come to your rescue you, huh?  Doesn’t really matter who it is.”

“What are you talking about?  Sans...I don’t understand what you mean.  Why...why are you acting like this?”  His words stung as he spoke.  He didn’t mean what he was saying, he couldn’t.  “He did help me, but what does that have to do with-”

“Just stop!” Sans cut you off, the corner of his mouth twitched as he looked away and shoved his hands into his pockets, “This is my fault.  ”

You heard enough, you felt a coil in the pit of your stomach tighten as each word drove daggers into your heart, “Sans!  I don’t know what you’re thinking, but you’re wrong!”

“Am I now?” Sans’ shoulders fell as he kept his back to you.

“Sans...I love you!  Why...why are you acting this way?  Why say all these hurtful things?” The dizziness returned as your eyes burned and vision blurred.  You let out a soft cry as a white hand wrapped around your eyes and pull you backward.  The last thing you saw was the light purple glowing off his white fingers.  Sans quickly turned around and glared at Gaster.

“When someone is hurt, it becomes easier to lash out at those you find dear to you…” Gaster words were soft in your ear.  The pressure of his fingers laid lightly over your left eye.  Another hand rested on your shoulder, gripping it lightly.  “Take a moment to calm yourself, you wouldn’t want to regret this later if anything were to happen…” Gaster looked up, watching Sans before he addressed him, “I suggest you do the same.”

“Get your hands off of her!” Sans growled, his magic once again flaring up as he watched the two of you.

Gaster looked down at you, you had gripped the top of his hand, holding it tightly as you cried.  He did this, caused this rift between the two of you.  

No…

It was just his fault...

“You stand here, speak in words laced with venom, for what reasons?” Gaster paused before he spoke again, not waiting for Sans to reply, “The walls you built after everything that had happened.  You never intended to allow her to get close, correct?”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”  Sans’ voice was even as he picked his words carefully.  “You have no idea what I’ve been through.”

The corner of Gaster’s crooked mouth twitched before he spoke, “I know more than you will ever understand…” He paused before his eyes locked with Sans, “You speak of trust, but you ask for something you refused to give.”

“It’s not his fault!” You pulled Gaster’s hand away but your gaze locked to the floor.  “I didn’t have to listen to you...I could have... _should_ have told Sans the night you made yourself known to me.  I just...I didn’t know how.  I wasn’t even sure what was going on.  I don’t know what I was thinking.   I felt like you  would think I was crazy.   _I_ thought I was crazy.  It became so much so fast.  I resolved to tell you, and then something changed that made it even more unbelievable.”  You stuttered as you caught your breath.  

“He stands before you, yet he hasn’t explained why.” Gaster passed the container resembling Sans’ soul to another hand before raise his other.  “How much has Sans kept from you?”  You didn’t understand, but the sound of music started off quiet before raising in volume to blare around you.  

_“We spent all day looking for the perfect outfit and fixing up her hair. You completely blew her off.”_

The familiar voice of Undyne interrupted the flow of the music.  She came into focus and she wore a stern look on her face as she stared down at Sans.

“This is the party…” You said quietly to yourself as you watched the memory.  Undyne tipped the glass she was holding back as she swallowed and heavily sighed as she commented about her drink.  You felt agitated as Undyne spoke and you realized it was coming from Sans.

_“She looks great.  All that matters is what she things.”_

Sans turned away from Undyne and looked out towards the crowd.

“Don’t,” Sans warned as he took a step forward towards Gaster.  He stopped as Gaster flexed his fingers, the purple magic reached out towards the container of Sans’ soul.  Sans stopped, angry at how in control Gaster was of all of this.  You ignored their exchange, remembering where this conversation lead.  You would eventually come by, mishear Sans and assume that-

_“I’m not trying to take advantage of her right now.”_

_Advantage?_

You couldn’t help but look at Sans.  Why would he think that?  Undyne continued the conversation, her frustration visible in her body language.

_“Oh come on, take advantage how? It's not like the two of you have touched each other's souls.”_

You felt your heart catch in your throat as Undyne’s nonchalant comment.  Sans looked away, the feeling of guilt now welling up inside you.  Undyne wasn’t expecting that either, as she quickly changed from being angry to concern.

_“Does she know what that means?  What the hell Sans?”_

What is this?  You didn’t remember this at all.  This...was the conversation you had walked into.  What did Sans having touched your soul mean?  He only looked at the memory of the fire.  Anger welled up inside as Sans lashed out at Undyne.  A well of emotions rushed over you, but the familiar numbness was still present, and as he spoke it only hurt worse.

_“All she knows is that I looked at her memory.  She doesn’t know what it means for monsters.  She barely even understands our magic.”_

Your hand tightened around Gaster’s palm.  What was going on?  This...this wasn’t what you remembered at all.  You were too caught up in trying to process what the two of them were talking about that you didn’t notice Undyne begin speaking again.

_“God Sans...for all we know she’s only attached to you because of your magi-”_

_“I know that!”_

“Because of magic?” You felt yourself choke out as you watched Sans.  The anger on his face vanished as his eyes caught yours.  He quickly broke eye contact as he shook his head.

“Wait...just let me explain…” Sans began, but the memory interrupted him.

_“I've made sure she hasn't touched my soul. Right now, she may be marked, and I may be attached to her right now, and what she's feeling right now may just be the result of my selfish way to have her open up to me, to trust me. I'm not going to trap her with me. Especially if the only reason, I feel this way is because of what I did.”_

_“I̜'͔̭᷄v͌é h̙éa᷊̘r͌d̓ e̋nͪo̱űgͣhͅ!̙̈́”_

You rang out as you heard the memory shatter around you.  You cried out, not sure what to think of what you just heard.

“It was all fake?  None of this was real?  Mark?  I just...what the hell is going on Sans?!”

“Now, now,” Gaster chimed in as he gently squeezed your shoulder and again covered your eye.  You could see the violet light reflecting brightly off his white fingers as he shielded your sight.

“Just let me explain, please…” Sans’ voice sounded weak, it was quiet as the sound of his footsteps echoed around you.  

“I made a fool of myself...how...how could you do this?” You felt your eyes burn and your body shake.  It was so painful, your heart felt like it was crushed.  A mix of anger and sadness overwhelmed you.  

“It’s not like that!  This is just complicated.  I wasn’t even sure how this would affect you.” Sans stopped not too far away from you.  You could hear his jacket rustle and assumed he shoved one of his hands into his pockets.

“What is a Mark?”  You pushed Gaster’s hand away once again.  You shoved it to your side and pressed your palm against your chest where you knew your soul would be.  “I’ve heard this word, but I don’t understand.  What does this mean?  What did you do to me?”

Sans sighed, the corner of his mouth twitched as he fell silent.  He went to speak a few times but stopped.  His hesitation didn’t help.  “When you place a Mark on someone...you’re basically telling others that you are spoken for…”

“So I’m yours?  Can others see this?  How?” You pressed your hand harder against your chest as you searched his face.

“Monsters leave a trace of their magic attached to the other’s soul.  Any time our kind touches someone’s soul, they leave their magic behind.  It’s invisible to see, but it’s something another monster can feel.”  Sans paused, a faint shade of blue highlighted his cheekbones as he slowly spoke, but you ignored it.  “It’s very personal...between two monsters... _people_.  It forms a stronger bond between the two of them.  It’s...not something you share with just anyone…”

You pulled your hand away from your chest to stare down at the palm of your hand.  “Because you did this...because you marked me...we formed a bond?”

Sans shook his head and let out another sigh, “The bond isn’t complete.  I don’t even know if you can complete it.  I don’t even…” Sans fell quiet and you could see his face strain in a mix of anger as he looked passed you towards Gaster.  “I don’t know how his action affects all of this!”

The hand that rested on your shoulder was comforting as you listened to everything Sans had to say.  None of it made sense.  Was Undyne right, though?  You became attached to Sans after the night in the hospital.  After he had touched your soul?  What about the park?  The night you cried in front of him.  When you showed him the rooms?  

“It was all a lie?” The words died on your lips as Gaster gently squeezed your shoulder once again.  He had no words to share.  You were lost in your own thoughts.  Your chest ached, your heart broken as you ran circles in your head around the question.  Something felt off, and it wasn’t until you finally acknowledged the weight on your shoulder did you realize what it was.  

You pulled away from Gaster and distanced yourself from both Sans and him.  “This...I don’t understand this!  I’m so comfortable with you!” You looked towards Gaster before looking down at your own hand, “Is this what monster magic does to humans?”  You looked around you, locked in whatever this all was.  The three of you, at this moment, was all connected, but at the same time, everything felt distant.  Invisible walls were in place that you could just barely make out around the two of them.  However, you held no walls of your own.  You were left open, bear to the two of them, and it scared you just how vulnerable you felt around them.

The worst part was Gaster scared you most of all.  How did he play out in all of this?  You didn’t fawn over him.  You didn’t love him, that’s for sure.  He irritated you, you felt something familiar about him, but most of all, you felt comfortable.  When did that even happen?  It’s been two days after all.  How did you become so familiar with him?

_“It forms a strong bond between the two…”_

Sans’ words echoed back to you as you watched Gaster.  Was this another “bond”, but they were personal, where they?  Was Gaster within your soul?  What’s the difference?  Why was Monster’s magic so confusing!  Why were souls so complicated?

“Why do you feel right?  Why am I so content with you Gaster?  You know I’d catch myself, realize that you being here wasn’t right.  You’re so familiar with me, I just...I don’t understand _this_.  I don’t understand Monsters, I don’t understand magic, and I don’t understand you!”

You finally glanced towards Sans before looking away.  “Sans...I don’t know anything about you...I mean I don’t know where you draw the line with me.  We...we decided we were something right?  Was that base on a lie?  Are you humoring me?  Your memories...the ones I saw, you didn’t seem to care at all.”  You paused as you felt the warmth at your core flare up, and the memories around you ring out, echo the heartache you felt around you.  “Why didn’t you turn me down?  I don’t...I don’t get it.  I don’t understand this at all!”

The space around you hummed as your anger rose.  Just when you had finally found your slice of happiness.  When you had realized the bubble you placed yourself in to avoid all of these complicated situations.  Fall in love...did you even fall in love?  You could hear the rumble in his voice though the words were lost in the hum stirring around you.

“That was not the purpose of showing you that memory.” Gaster wasn’t speaking to you as he watched the area around them.  The shards echoed as they violently resonated.  “The purpose was to show you that everyone holds secrets to avoid hurting others.  Please take a moment to calm down.  We do not know how your magic will respond, please.”

“Calm down?”  You shook your head as you felt yourself sink to the ground.  You pulled your legs close as you stared at the ground. How could you just _calm down_?  Who was he to tell you how to feel right now?  He used magic to show you that memory, he keeps saying to be careful of your magic, but you didn’t even know how to use it.  You wanted answers.  

“Ever since you showed up, everything has been wrong!” You balled up your fist before glaring up at the monster in front of you.  “You treated me like I was an idiot.  That I was an inconvenience to you!”  You bit your lip as you made eye contact with him.  “You spoke to me in the library.  You listened to me, but not once did you chastise me.  You talked to me, talked to me and _really_ listened to me.” You fought to find the words that muddled around inside your head.  “What am I to you?  You asked me who I am?  I don’t even know anymore…”

_I’m a liar._

Those words echoed once again in your skull as your eyes fell to stare at the floor once again.  You relaxed your fist and placed it down in front of you.  You hardly registered the tips of your fingers in your sight before you spoke quietly.  “I don’t know who I am...you know more about me than I do...Just… _t̋̓ͭe̷ͤͦl͓͎̆l̬̘̆̌͢ m̶͇͜e̹̮̯͍᷈_!”

The vibrations around you stopped and the room fell quiet once again.  You gasped as a pool of violet tendriled out from your hand into the floor around you.  The domed over you as you let out a scream and covered your head.

You heard your name, but you weren’t sure who called for it first.  You saw a blur of black and blue before the tendrils stopped.  Everything felt still, the sound around you stopped as you finally dared to look out from under your arm.  You flinched as you heard an echo of a footstep in an open room.  

You couldn’t see anything at first, you watched as the magic that coiled out from under you swallow the shards of the memories from earlier and assemble a grand mirror.  A mix of your shards and Sans took shape and a familiar room appeared before you…

“No…” You said softly as you pushed yourself to your feet.  “Anything but this...I didn’t want this!”

_“Heya.”_

The breath caught in your throat as you looked up, this was the first time you had heard a voice from the dreams.  You didn’t expect to hear Sans.  

_“So, I’ve got a question for ya.  Do you think even the worst person can change...that everyone can be a good person if they just try?”_

You heard him laugh, but there was an emptiness to it.  The pit of your stomach churned as he continued to speak.  The child’s wicked, twisted smile almost seem to light up with Sans’ words.  It was sickening.  You felt sick listening to this.  You didn’t want to hear this…

_“It’s a beautiful day outside.  Birds are singing, flowers are blooming…”_

Out of the corner of your vision behind the child, you could see two sets of two giant fanged skulls tear through the world.

“...on days like these, kids like you…”

The familiar arm that you knew belong to Sans quickly extended at your left.  The child’s heart, red as blood, quickly changed to blue as Sans held the child to the ground.

 _“_ S _h_ o _u_ l _d_ b _e_ b _u_ r _n_ i _n_ g _i_ n _h_ e _l_ l _. . .”_

After jumping from the sudden spike of bones their soul changed back to its original crimson shade to flawlessly dodge the onslaught of white bones.  The skulls took action, not letting up on the assault as they hummed.  They fired beam after beam of magic towards the child, but they managed to dodge them all.  It was terrifying.  This wasn’t like your dream at all.   

**_“That’s enough!”_ **

If the sudden loud voice didn’t scare you, the hand did.  You felt something grab your wrist and you screamed as it pulled you through the memory.  You felt yourself being pulled through the memory to stumble and collide into Sans.  The magic that held up the memory cracked and it crumbled to the floor.  The tendrils of the purple magic seeped into the floor before disappearing under the pile of shards.  You quickly pulled your wrist away from Sans and pushed yourself to your feet.

“I don’t know how just-”  Sans spoke softly before you cut him off.

“I’m sorry!  Sans, I’m sorry!  I didn’t mean to show you that!” You felt yourself take quick, sharp breaths as you struggled to wrap your head around the memory of your dream.  “It...it wasn’t like that before!  I swear-”

“Before? What are you talking about?” Sans reached for your wrist again as he watched you frantically stumble over your own words.

“The dreams...I didn’t...I never heard you speak...You didn’t do this last time...I-” You rambled as you felt yourself begin to hyperventilate.

“Stop!  Slow down!” Sans’ grip on your wrist tightens as he searched your face.  You flinched at his grip.  All he could do was focus on you now.  “ _You’ve_ seen this before?”

You couldn’t hide it anymore.  You still didn’t know how you would explain it, but you forced yourself to take a deep breath and looked him in the eyes.

“Yes...Sans...they’re just dreams...I see them every time I close my eyes.”  You flinched as the lights in his eyes slowly faded.  You needed to continue.  You needed to tell him before you accidentally showed him another dream.  “Every time I close my eyes...someone I loved died...people I didn’t know died...Sans...I didn’t mean to dream this.  I didn’t want to see Papyrus and Undyne die.  I couldn’t stop it, I-”

You gasped as you felt a sudden pain at your core.  Sans let go of your wrist as he grasped at the neck of his hoodie.  Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the familiar fluid black wrap around you before pulling you back to be cradled in his arms.  

You felt Gaster’s hand cover your good eye before you felt him lean forward to whisper in your ear.  “They are attempting to pull the two of you apart."  Gaster paused before he spoke again, much quieter this time.  "I’ll take you to the place where all your questions may be answered.  Find a resolve and when you are ready I will set things in motion.”

You didn’t understand what he meant until you were swallowed in darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Relationships are never easy...
> 
> This chapter was hard to write for...not everything is answered, but one part at a time. Gaster still pulling invisible strings, but at least he looks like he's ready to talk. So many emotions and fears happening right now. Gaster just had to make it all complicated...but finally we know what it means to be "marked". 
> 
> I honestly don't mean to leave you guys off on cliff hangers, but I don't want to split parts up that should be together. Things will pick up with the high emotions in the next chapter. A bit more talking and more questions will be answered in the coming chapters.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Shamless tumblr plug for updates: kioribug.tumblr.com


	28. No Easy Answers

You felt yourself gasp for air as a stabbing pain brought you back to consciousness.  You could hardly focus around you as muffled sounds swam through your head.  You were dizzy, you felt sick, and you felt a cold sweat beading on your forehead.

**_Please bear with this._ **

You focused on those words.  Nothing else needed to make sense except for those words.  You took in a breath and breathed out slowly, regaining your breath and calming yourself as your body tingled.  You didn’t understand why you hurt so terribly.  You didn’t know where this tearing pain came from.

You repeated the words in your head, possibly mouthed the words, as you tried to grasp your surroundings.  The words kept you from focused as light blurred your vision.  You felt your body flinch as a hand pressed against your shoulder.  

“...child?”

Toriel slowly came into focus as she knelt before you, gently shaking you.

“Thank goodness, you are alright.”  Relief was clearly showing on her face as she sighed.

“What the hell Tori?” You could make out Sans’ strained voice from somewhere behind her.  You watched as Toriel turned to look back where the voice had come from.  Everything moved slowly as your head continued to swim.

“You know how dangerous it is to manually separate us like that.” Sans placed his hand on Toriel’s shoulder as he leaned some of his weight against her as he approached you.  Another blur appeared behind him before you recognized it was Papyrus.  He looked between you and his brother as he fidgeted with his hands.

“Sans, it wasn’t right...something wasn’t right,” Papyrus mumbled.  

Toriel nodded, “Sans, the darkness attached to her soul was wrapping around yours.  We did not know what it would do to you.  You were right, separating you was dangerous, but please understand we were worried.  We do not know what this means.”

Sans looked back to you before standing on his own once again.  His other hand still tightly clutched the neck of his hoodie as he held his right hand out towards you.  You felt the familiar sensation of your soul being pulled from your core as everyone was bathed in the weak violet glow.

Sans guided your soul out and over to him as he watched the black essence vein out around your soul.   A low aggravated noise escaped him.  Your hand let loose of your shirt and instinctively reached up to shield your soul.  Purple magic resonated from your hand and startled you.  

“So this is how you were doing it…” Sans mumbled to himself as he watched your hand attempt to cup your own soul.  He watched as the magic, your magic, pulled your soul back to you to hold it close.

You wanted to speak, but you couldn’t.  All you could do was bite your lower lip as you tried to ignore the pain.  You watched as your magic pushed aside the black tendrils to reveal a chip in your soul.  You gasped which surprised your friends around you.

“What’s wrong?” Sans reached out towards your soul again and you pulled away.

“No!  Don’t touch me!” You practically yelled as you forced out the words.  You could still remember the recent memories.  You didn’t want anyone to touch your soul.  Knowing Gaster was there made you feel uneasy.  Souls were complicated before, but now you didn’t even know how to make heads or taIls of it.  The only thing you knew, that you felt was real, was that everything was built upon this uncertainty.

Toriel leaned forward and gently placed her hand on the top of your knee, “My child, it is you, isn’t it?”

You didn’t understand her question at first.  You must have given her a funny look for her expression to suddenly watch you with concern.

**_Time does not pass the same as it does when two souls are connected.  What may have only been a minute for them may have felt longer to you.  You were not yourself not long ago._ **

You quickly nodded as you listened to Gaster.  You still didn’t know who or what to believe.  The only thing that you could hold onto was what Gaster had said to you before.  You still wanted to hold onto the feeling you could believe him when he told you he wasn’t your enemy.

“My child, I am glad that you have returned to us.” Toriel’s soothing voice brought you out of your thoughts as you acknowledged her.  You quickly looked back to the chip in your soul before you felt your soul returning to your core.  As your soul disappeared you felt Toriel’s soft hands carefully hold yours.  

You tried to pull away as your magic weaved itself around Toriel’s hands, but she did not pull away.  Once you did not attempt to pull away again did she let go with one of her hands to gently cup your cheek.  Her thumb lightly caressed the skin under your eye as she watched.  

“Child, what is going on?  What is this?” Toriel’s words were quiet as you took in short quick breaths.  Between the pain and the realization that the same magic you saw in the memories was still present you stumbled on your words as you felt your heart flutter in your chest.  It didn’t help that as you acknowledged it’s presence it flared up to coil around Toriel’s hand.

**_Calm down.  Remember that your soul is the source of your magic and your soul is the embodiment of the nonphysical elementals of yourself.  Do not feed into the fear._ **

You took a deep breath to steady yourself.  The magic that coiled around Toriel’s hand receded back onto yours as you continued to let out slow breaths.  You couldn’t speak, afraid to open your mouth as you focused yourself now on the air you were breathing.

“He has something to do with this,” Sans spoke up from behind Toriel. “I don't know what she did, but he was interested in whatever it was.”

“Are you both okay?  This...your souls…” Toriel lost her words as she danced around the subject.  Sans only sighed, but he refused to look at you.

“We didn’t have control.  Gaster jumbled her memories, our memories.  I could deal with it, but…” Sans finally looked back to you, “She’s not like us...she doesn’t know how to handle being overwhelmed...that’s when she shattered our-”

“Shattered?” Toriel clasped her hands over her mouth as she looked back towards you.  You felt ashamed that you may have done something wrong but didn’t know.  How could you have?

“I didn’t mean to...I...I don’t know how I did...I just wanted it to stop.  I felt I was losing myself in it all…” You managed to choke out.  You still remembered everything you saw.  Maybe the memories shattered while the two of you were pulled into each other’s souls, but you still had them.  “I still remember them...they not gone!”

“Not yet…” Sans said quietly.

“You would prefer if I forgot…” You said quietly that you’re sure only you could hear.  If Sans did hear you, he didn’t react.  He turned away as he shoved his hands into his pockets.  Any discomfort he felt earlier was gone, or he masked it well.  You weren’t sure which at this point, but his statement did interest you.  “What do you mean not yet?”

Toriel was the one to answer you, “Your magic, the kind it is, isn’t like traditional magic.  It does not have an instant effect like Sans’ magic.  It’s more like-”

“A poison.” Sans interrupted before turning back to approach you.  “Tori, I need to talk with her alone for a bit.”  Before you could object Sans stood over you and pulled you to your feet.  You stumbled at first but followed behind him as he pulled you back towards the spare bedroom.  Sans pulled you into the bedroom before turning back towards the door where Toriel had followed.  He ignored both Papyrus’ and Toriel’s protest as he closed the bedroom door behind him.  “Just...give us a couple minutes.”

Toriel fell silent on the other side of the door.  You heard a heavy sigh before hearing her heavy footsteps walk back down the hall.  You gathered yourself before walking towards the opposite side of the room.  You felt your stomach flutter as the silence and building tension around you threatened to swallow you whole.  You flexed your hand as you couldn’t keep still.  There was too much going through your head.

You stopped as you saw the glow of the magic that had wrapped itself around your hand flare up.  Gaster’s words echoed in your head once again.  You needed to stay calm.  The only problem now was that the cause of your unsettling feelings right now was standing behind you.  You could feel his eyes on your back as the muscles in your body tensed.  You could almost physically feel a string pulling taut inside of you as you stood there in silence.  How long he was going to make you wait.

**_Be careful._ **

“I don’t need you to chime in now!” You said as your frustration boiled over.  You clasped your hand over your mouth but it was already too late.  You heard Sans hum behind your before you turned to look at him.

“Lover’s spat?” You weren’t the only one agitated.  You could hear it in his as well.

“You know it’s not like that.” The fluttering in your stomach wasn’t helping as the pain in your chest throbbed.

“Do I?  It’s hard to know when you refuse to speak to me.” You watched as Sans leaned back against the door.  If you wanted to leave, you would have to get passed him.  You didn’t want to face him right now.  You wanted time to think to yourself to gather your thoughts, but obviously, you wouldn’t get that now.

“I don’t even know myself, Sans!” You felt yourself bite your tongue as you snapped at him.  You hid your hand behind your back, not wanting to see the magic flare up around your arms.  “Were those memories real?”

“Ours?  They felt real…” Sans said quietly.  His gaze shifted to watch your arm.  “Could you tell me about those _dreams_?”

You didn’t want to be reminded.  It was the last memory that the two of you saw.  You shrugged as you pulled your arm out from behind your back.  Before you could stop yourself, your hand found it’s way to latch onto the pendant around your neck.  You don’t know why Gaster had your pendant before, or even how it was possible.  You decided to worry about one thing at a time.

“You saw it...I wouldn’t call that a memory, though.  That was the dream I had last night.  I never heard speaking before, but it was different as well.  How does that work?”

“You’ve had other...dreams...like that then?  You said Undyne and Papyrus earlier, you had dreams of them as well?”  His voice quieter, almost as if he were afraid anyone who may be listening outside could hear.

“Yeah...I mean...it was like watching a silent film.  All I could hear was static.  Every Time I would try to sleep I’d see them…” Your voice trailed off as you recalled the terrible dreams.  Sans stood quietly watching you.  You weren’t sure if he was mad, but it wasn’t like you meant to have these dreams.  You didn’t want this to happen to them.  You didn’t want to admit to him how numb you had become to everyone’s death.  The only one that startled you lately was the last one, the one Sans just saw.  You sighed in frustration and fidgeted with the pendant around your neck.

“Did _he_ show them to you?” Sans’ response was short, and you could hear the low rumble of irritation in his voice.  You stood there for a moment, thinking quietly to yourself.  You tried to recall the first dream you had, and if Gaster was truly responsible for them.

**_You were having those “dreams” long before I found myself connected to you._ **

“No.” You quickly forced out as you returned to your thoughts.  You wished Gaster wouldn’t just chime in randomly when he wanted.

“Is that what he told you to tell me?  Speaking for you?  Which is it?” Sans pulled himself away from the door to stand firmly on his two feet.  

“No.” You said a bit more firmly than you wanted.  “What’s your problem?”

“I don’t know. It couldn’t possibly be that I can’t tell who is speaking to me right now.” His words struck a cord and you felt the tight string inside yourself snap.

“It has always been me, Sans!  It’s always just been me speaking to you!” You clamped your jaw shut, feeling the muscles tense as you balled up your fist around the pendant.

“Really?  Not sure who you’re trying to fool, _kid_ .  Your act almost fooled Papyrus.  He could tell you weren’t _yourself_ last night.”  Sans had taken a few steps forward towards you.  He stopped just out of arm’s reach.  His white pupils were small as they glared up at you.

Gaster did talk to Papyrus last night...it was the first time he had talked to anyone that wasn’t you using your body.  Not counting today, or the encounter with those jerks last night, that was truly the only time he interacted with anyone.

“I wasn’t trying to fool him!  I didn’t want that to happen!”  You paused as you felt the blood rush to your head.  You took another deep breath as you could feel the nagging reminder to remain calm.  You couldn’t contain it any longer.  You were upset, hurt, and Sans had pretty much come looking for this fight.

“What did you want?  You were shutting people out again.  Shutting _me_ out again.”  He pulled his right hand out of his pocket and firmly grabbed your arm.  “I asked last night what’s been on your mind since you’ve been acting weird.  The light in your soul was growing darker.  I was waiting for you to talk to me, but you refused to.”

“What could I say?” You nearly laughed at the absurdity of all of this.  “Oh, by the way, I am hearing a voice in my head.  I may or may not be imaging it.  Also, don’t be alarmed, but _your_ already broken excuse of a _girlfriend_ may just be crazy.  Yes!  How could I not just share that with you?”  You paused as the word girlfriend echoed back to you.  “You want to stand here and act like I’m the only one hiding things.  Let’s not forget that you’ve been hiding the whole soul marking thing from me for how long?”  You paid little attention to the magic that intensified at your fingertips.  Sans let your arm go as he cautiously watched it.

“I had no clue if it would do anything.  I was worried about you and I chose to take a risk.” Sans shoved his hand back into his pocket.  “If I was sure something was up I was going to tell you.”

“You never even thought to tell me, Sans!  I’ve been going back and forth in my head trying to figure out my feelings for you.  God Sans, I listening to every monster close to me point out something that was common for you.  Were you wanting to make me a walking joke?  Alphys, Undyne, those people at your friend’s bar...even Papyrus and Toriel now that I think about it made knowing smiles about this.”

**_Your magic is responding to your agitated state.  Calm down or-_ **

“Do not tell me how to feel!”  You snapped which caused Sans to flinch.  “This is the first thing I know that I am feeling.  This anger is mine!  I can say without a doubt that I am angry right now.  I have every right to be!”  You yanked the pendant from around your neck and looked down at it in the palm of your hand before looking back to Sans.  You recalled the memories of his you saw.  You couldn’t shake the emptiness you felt as you watched them. “Did you even care?”  You felt your throat become tight as you forced yourself to swallow, “All of my memories...I could feel everything.  I felt what I felt then, but with yours, they’re just heavy.  They’re empty!”

_Everyone wears a mask._

He said that.  Sans told you that when you asked about the first memory of his.  When Sans found you at the library, you could feel his guilt and emptiness.  He was numb watching you, he’d always been numb towards you.  How couldn’t you see this before?

“When I confessed to you I made it clear that I didn’t want anything in between.  If you wanted to be friends that would have been fine!  You didn’t need to play with my emotions anymore then you already had!”  After letting out the building frustration you let out a heavy sigh.  

Your thumb gently rubbed the small heart in your hand.  You looked back down towards the pendant in your hand.  You were so attached to this small piece of jewelry.  This had become a comfort.  Looking at it now weighed heavily on your heart.

_Why do you find this pendant so special?_

Last night, Gaster pressed you for answers about this pendant.  It was your reminder of Sans, but it didn’t make sense why.  You felt you clearly remembered him giving you this pendant.  It reminded you of his soul, it was just like his!

“Look at this...what color is this?” You held the pendant out towards him, the broken chain hanging off your fingertips.

Sans didn’t know what you were getting at.  Suddenly bringing up the pendant again out of nowhere.  What did it have to do with anything, “It’s bl-”

“NO!  It _wasn’t_ blue!”  You pulled your hand back and slammed the pendant against the wall.  The force of your hand hitting the wall shook the hanging photos on the wall.  You held your hand there, not wanting to look at it any longer.  “Last night...I realized it was wrong.  It doesn’t make sense why it’s blue!”

You felt your anger returning when recalled the night Sans returned it to you.  You were so happy to have it back, you had felt lost without it.  It was silly just how much you clung to it.  Sans gave you the courage to step out of your shell, to speak up.  Any time you felt like running, you held it and it calmed you down.

“It’s crazy...I know you gave me a pendant.  It meant something to me...but this blue pendant isn’t the one you gave me...why can’t I remember?” You couldn’t help but weakly laugh as you remembered how strangely he was looking at it.  “You noticed it didn’t you?  You were staring at it the other night.  What else are you keeping from me?  Why is everything turning into lies?”  You pulled your hand away from the wall and you felt something fall from your hand.  You turned your hand slowly and bit your lower lip.

Your stomach knotted when it saw the broken heart in your hand.  This had to be a sick joke.  Your magic from your hand circled the pendant in your hand only for a moment before the door to the bedroom opened up.  Papyrus stood in the doorway, worry written clearly on his face as he debated if he should have opened the door or not.  Sans didn’t say a word, he only looked at the broken pendant before looking away from you.  “Am I just crazy?”  You bit your lip, tired of his silence.  “Answer me!”

“You’re not crazy.” Sans barely spoke above a whisper before turning to his brother.  “Papyrus, please give us a little more time.”

“We heard a loud noise.  I came to check on you.”  Papyrus’ eyes darted between the two of you before hovering over you.  “Are you okay, human?”

You shook your head as your eyes screwed shut, “No, I’m not okay!  All this...all this started after I got home from the hospital.”  You paused as you took in a shallow breath, “I wish...I wish…” You stumbled on your words as you slowly opened your eyes.  “I wish I didn’t love you...”

You weren’t sure if Sans was just ignoring you altogether at this point.  You had enough.  Your anger was at its limit as you quickly walked forward and placed your hand squarely in the middle of Sans’ back.  You pushed him forwards with enough force for him to lightly bump into Papyrus who took a few steps back outside of the room.

“Get out” Once Sans had crossed the door’s threshold you through the broken pendant and chain at him.  You quickly slammed the door shut and latched the lock on it.  You leaned your back against the door, and tightly gripped the doorknob, “I don’t want to see you again!”  You bit your lower lip as you heard a frustrated mumble and soft footsteps walk away from the door.

You felt your handshake as it gripped the handle tightly.  You jumped when you heard a soft knock on your door.

“Human?” Papyrus said quietly through the door.

“Papyrus I just want to be left alone right now.” You said as softly as you could through the door.

You felt the handle on the door turn before hearing a light thud just above your head behind the door.  His voice carried through the door louder, which told you the sound came from him leaning his head against the wood of the door.

“I understand that you are upset with my brother, I may not know why, but I don’t believe you really want to be alone.” You felt guilty as you unlocked the door.  Papyrus didn’t deserve this.  He was right.  You didn’t want to be alone, not alone with Gaster just yet.

You took a few steps away from the door as you heard the door creak open.  You turned around as you heard the door latch.  You watched as the taller skeleton turn to face you.  He watched you cautiously before quickly rushing forward to wrap his arms around you.

“Last night may not have been the best time for a hug, but I am sure right now is a good time for one!”  A smile wormed it’s way across your lips as you leaned your forehead onto his shoulder.

“Papyrus...I’m sorry...This is...I don’t know what _this_ is.  Papyrus, I didn’t mean for all this to happen.” You stammered on.  The anger you had felt was gone.  All that was left was the heaviness in your heart and guilt.

“Worry not friend!” Papyrus leaned away and smiled.  His smile quickly faded as he looked from your eye to your hand.  “Do you remember what I told you last night?”  A lot had happened, but you tried to remember.  You apologized to him for what Gaster had said.  You couldn’t clearly remember what he told you, though, so you shook your head.  Papyrus smiled as he carefully took the hand you were trying to hide and gave it a gentle squeeze.  “If your friend is listening, I wanted to remind you that if there is anything that I, the Great Papyrus can do to help, I will!”

You couldn’t help but smile, but beneath the thankful feeling you felt a terrible sadness.  Behind your eyes burned terribly.  You could feel yourself ready to cry, but you refused to let yourself.  After everything today, you still hadn’t gotten many answers.  Why was Sans pressing you about your terrible nightmares?  You had let yourself lash out and didn’t give Sans really any time to answer your questions.

“Papyrus, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys about Gaster…” You weren’t sure if Papyrus would understand, but he was a lot easier to talk to right now.  “I should have said something.  I knew I should have...but…” You paused as you thought on the reason why.  Gaster asked you not to, and you felt that he could hurt you if you tried to speak to Sans at the Library yesterday.  Gaster scared you, he still scares you, but there is another nagging feeling you couldn’t shake.  Gaster didn’t want to hurt you.  He never wanted to hurt you.  That’s something you felt to be true, but you still didn’t understand why he was here.  Why did he find your magic so fascinating?  Why did he find _you_ fascinating?  “Papyrus...Gaster isn’t a bad guy!  He’s really not!  I don’t know what he really wants-”

Papyrus only squeezed your hand and offered a sad smile.  “If you believe that he is good then I shall believe so as well!”  Papyrus leaned in close and whispered into your ear, “Though your friend has not been doing nice things.”

**_It seems he does not realize I can still hear him._ **

You couldn’t help but laugh at Gaster’s statement.  “Papyrus...Gaster can hear everything you say to me.”

Papyrus quickly clamped a gloved hand over his mouth as a light shade of orange colored his cheeks.  “I did not mean to be rude!”  Papyrus’ embarrassment quickly disappeared as he hooked his hands on his hips and leaned forward.  “It is rude to listen to other people’s conversations.  It is also rude to push people and make your friends upset.”

You felt awkward but you could feel Gaster’s amusement as Papyrus scolded him.  You laughed lightly before falling silent.  The smile that you had disappeared as quickly as it came.  You caught yourself as felt your hand rest close to your chest.  You knew what you were searching for and it only made it hurt worse.

“Papyrus...you told me once that I meant a lot to Sans…” You could feel the breath catch in your throat as you tried to swallow.

Papyrus leaned back, noticing your sadness and gently placed a hand on top of your head to lightly pet you.  “I did.  You do mean a lot to him.”

“How do you know?  Papyrus, he felt nothing in his memories.  I don’t...I don’t understand how I can mean anything to him!”  You bit your cheek as you choked back a sob.  You still refused to cry, but it was becoming difficult.

“If Sans did not care, he would not be as upset as he was today…” Papyrus was quiet as he spoke softly.  “If my brother truly did not care, he would not be here.  He is just very stubborn, and is quick to distrust those that that hurt the people he cares about.”  Papyrus narrowed his eyes at you, but you knew he was not looking at you.

“Then why? Why does he feel nothing?  These feelings that I have for him, he can’t even tell me if they’re my own or just a side effect from the mark he placed on my soul!”  You quickly placed your hand over your mouth.  “I’m sorry...I didn’t mean to yell at you…”

Papyrus shook his head, “It is alright.  I am sorry, but I do not have the answers to the questions you are asking me.”  You shut your eyes as Papyrus lightly patted your head.

Papyrus removed his hand from your head and gently guided you back towards the bed.  Once you were sitting he took a seat next to you and lightly pressed his arm against your shoulder.  You leaned against him and let your forehead rest against his shoulder.

“Sans wasn’t always like this…” Papyrus began softly.  You watched as Papyrus picked at his gloves as he spoke.  You felt a small sudden pang which caused you to squeeze Papyrus’ hands once again.  You pulled your head away from his shoulder as you felt Papyrus turn to look at you.  He didn’t meet your eyes, but rather look passed you.

“I am terribly sorry friend, but I haven’t been truthful to you.” Papyrus paused as his eyes flicked towards you.  He was being serious, but you could tell that whatever he was going to tell you was going to be difficult.  “When you asked me to tell you about Underground, I only shared with you the happy times.”

You breathed a small sigh of relief with his admission.  “Papyrus, that’s not really being dishonest it-”

“Do not misunderstand human.  Snowdin wasn’t a very happy place.  Not a lot of people were happy.  A lot of monsters did not believe we would ever come to live on the surface.  Sans would tell me stories and make plans for what we would do once on the surface.  For as long as I can remember, he would promise me that we travel the world and he’d take me to meet the Jolly Roger himself!”  A smile of excitement quickly lit up his face before his expression deflated.  “We’d talk for hours and every day he made sure that I was happy-”

“Papyrus…” You didn’t mean to interrupt him, but you didn’t understand what this had to do with your questions.  “I don’t understand why you are telling me this.”

“Oh…” Papyrus nodded slowly before he collected his thoughts.  “When Sans and I were but baby bones...something terrible happened.  I was not always the well-mannered find skeleton you see before you today.  I was not always very nice to Sans.”

“What?” If you heard anyone else tell you that Papyrus could have ever been mean to anyone, let alone Sans, you would have considered them a liar.  Papyrus was telling you himself.  Despite him telling you he wasn’t truthful earlier, he had never lied to you.  You didn’t have a reason to believe he was lying now.  “Papyrus, what would make you think that?”

Papyrus took a heavy breath as he searched for the words, “We did not always live in Snowdin, friend. When we were baby bones, we lived in a nice home with our mother in the capital.”  

“Papyrus, you don’t need to tell me this.  If it upsets you this much you don’t have to-” You could see that this conversation was upsetting him.  You gently squeezed his hand as he interrupted you.

“I do!  This is very important for your question.”  Papyrus pulled the hand from behind his head to gently rub at his cheek.  Hiding the light orange hue that trailed his cheekbones.  “Human, this is a very sad memory, but it is a very important one.”  You nod as the corner of Papyrus’ mouth twitches into a smile.  It took him another moment before he began to speak again.   

“I do not remember a lot about my mother, friend.  The only thing I can remember is that she was always sad.  Every night we could hear her cry before she would fall asleep.  Sans took care of me most days as she would not leave her room.  There were days where I was hungry and refuse to eat the food that Sans would cook for me.  Sans would complain to mother constantly about me.”  He paused as he took another slow breath to steady himself, “The day the terrible thing happened...Sans and mother were fighting.  Mother told us we could not play outside that day.  Sans got mad and yelled at her before he went to his room.  I don’t remember what he had said to her, but she had started to cry.  It didn’t take much for her to cry, but it made me mad.  I went to tell Sans to apologize to her.  I went to Sans’ room to find he had left out his window.  I told mother and she told me to wait in her room until she came back with Sans…”  Papyrus quickly fell silent as he hid his eyes.  You squeezed his hand which he squeezed back.  “I did not see Sans until the next day...he returned home.”

“What about your-” You started before Papyrus quickly interrupted you.

“She never came home…” You felt your blood run cold as Papyrus continued.  “I blamed Sans for a very long time…”

“Papyrus, I’m so sorry.” You said weakly.  You quickly understood what he meant.

Papyrus looked away, “After that day...Sans never complained.  He never left me alone and tried his best to always smile.  He would do anything I asked.  I never forgave him, even as we got older.  For the longest time, I thought he did not care, that he was happy our mother was gone.  It made me angry.”  Papyrus looked away, ashamed as he told you this.  “Finally, one day he left me alone.  I think we were running out of money because he suddenly got a job.  That day I decided to run away.”  Papyrus pulled his hand away from you, to wrap his arms around himself.  “I ran away to make Sans mad.  I ran all the way to Hotland before Sans found me.  For the first time in years, he yelled at me.  He scolded me and told me how much of an ungrateful baby bones I had been.  At some point, he suddenly stopped.  He grabbed me and held me tightly and began to cry.  It was the first time I’ve seen him cry.  He told me he thought I was going to disappear, just like Mother had…” You felt your stomach knot as quiet sobs left Papyrus.  “All that time I thought he did not care.  I realized then how wrong I was.”

You closed your eye as you leaned against Papyrus.  You didn’t want for Papyrus to cry.  You were startled as you felt a gentle pull as you realized Gaster had forced himself back into control.

_What are you-_

You were shocked at first, you watched as Gaster gently place your hand on top on Papyrus’ head.  He gently pulled Papyrus’ head down to lean against your own before lightly patting his head.  The sudden gestures startled Papyrus at first, but he quickly calmed down when a soft, unfamiliar tune hummed lightly from you.

Papyrus smiled as he leaned his weight against yours, “Thank you, friend.  I am okay now.  Thank you for your kindness.”  Papyrus pulled away and gently rubbed his eyes again.  “After that day I decided I would be the brother that Sans deserved.  I always knew that it wasn’t truly Sans’ fault.  I was young, and I never even thought that Sans wasn’t dealing with losing our mother in his own way.  He understood what it meant and he did his very best to raise me.”  Papyrus paused as a light smile returned to his face, “I had made Sans feel very lonely for so long.  I decided that if it was within my ability, that I would never let him feel that way again.  I decided that I too would smile.”  Papyrus quickly stood up and lightly held your hand to pull you to your feet.  “Day by day I became the skeleton you see before you now.”

You once again felt the gentle push as Gaster relinquished his control over you.  You stumbled on your feet slightly, but Papyrus steadied you.  You did not understand why Gaster did what he did, but it only reassured the feeling that you had about him.  You looked up at Papyrus and smiled, “I’m happy that I met the person you had become.”

Papyrus nodded as he began to speak again, “I know this does not answer you questions, but there is just a little more to this if you do not mind to listen more.”

You shook your head, “No no, please continue...I...I just want to understand.”

Papyrus smiled, “After we moved to Snowdin Sans quit his job in the capital.  He shut himself up in his room for a long time.  I didn’t know what to do to make him happy again, so I did what I could.  I kept the house clean, I started to make learn how to make spaghetti.  I took over the basic things Sans had always done in the capital.  He finally left his room after I told him that I found a job as a sentry in Snowdin.”  Papyrus smiled brightly, “That was when I met Undyne, Captain of the Royal Guard!  She’s the one that decided to train me every day, and help me out with cooking!  She was strong and everyone looked up to her!  I told myself that I was going to be just like her one day.  If I joined the Royal Guard, Sans wouldn’t have to worry anymore.  I could take care of him and make sure nothing bad ever happened again.”  Papyrus smiled as he gestured to himself, “I would be known to all as The Great Papyrus!” Papyrus paused as his eyes fell to the floor.

“I believe I once told you how Sans started to get nightmares.  It’s been a long time since then, but I still remember it quite clearly.”  You reached over and placed your hand on his.  This gave Papyrus the needed push to continue, “At the same time Sans started getting the nightmares, he changed.  I don’t quite remember when I noticed, but as his only brother I could tell.”  Papyrus pulled his hand away from yours as he began to speak again.  “After Sans had started coming out of his room again, he returned to closing himself off.  He would only leave the house to go to Grillby’s.  Overnight my brother had lost all hope.  He never told me about his nightmares, and still doesn’t talk about them, but he’s been like that since coming to the surface.”

“A lot has happened since the nightmares had started.  Sans would disappear for hours only to return home to sleep.  It wasn’t long after that Frisk came to Snowdin.”  Papyrus quickly covered his mouth.  “I’m sorry human, I wasn’t supposed to-”

“It’s okay Papyrus!” You quickly reassured him, “I know that Frisk is the one that set everyone free.  Gaster told me…” You said quietly.  Papyrus watched you for a moment longer before nodding.  

“Then that makes this a little easier to explain.”  He smiled lightly at you and looked around at the pictures on the wall.  “Sans, for whatever reason, followed Frisk on their journey to meet our King.  I don’t think Sans trusted them and took me to befriend them before Sans believed me when I said that we could trust them!” Papyrus smiled, “Frisk made it possible for us to live on the surface, and we’re forever thankful for this opportunity.  Leaving Snowdin returned some of the hope Sans had lost.”

Papyrus suddenly pulled you back into a firm hug.  This motion caught you off guard but you didn’t fight him.  “Papyrus?”

Papyrus didn’t let go as he spoke gently, “Meeting you was the best thing that has happened to my brother since living on the surface.  Sans does not express himself honestly in front of others.”  Papyrus finally pulled away as he looked down at you.  There was a sadness in his eyes, “Human...was it true what you said before?  Do you truly wish you did not love my brother?”

You felt your breath catch, and Papyrus became blurry in your eye.  You felt yourself shake as everything you’ve held back finally come rushing out.  You sobbed loudly as Papyrus gently rubbed the tears from your face.

“Papyrus...I don’t know...this mark...this mark Sans placed on my soul.  I don’t know if it made me fall in love or if-” Papyrus lightly pressed his gloved thumb to your lips.

“I do not understand everything you are talking about.  Humans souls are very powerful, more powerful than any one monster soul.  I do not know if a mark can make you fall in love, but I know that no one can force you to love them.  The only one who can answer the question if you love someone is yourself…”

“Papyrus...I don’t know the answer...I...I need time to think.” You said softly.  You could see the sadness in his eyes, but there was an understanding.  You took his hand in yours and squeezed it lightly.  “I don’t hate him…”  This response brought a smile back to his face as he gave you one last hug before walking towards the door.

“I am going to talk to Sans.  When you are ready we will be in the other room.”  He opened the door and checked down the hall before leaving.  Before closing the door behind him he smiled brightly at you, “Take whatever time you need.”  With that, he closed the door behind him and you heard his heavy footsteps walk down the hall.

When you heard Papyrus’ distant muffled voice you took a seat on the edge of the bed.  You held out your hand and watched the magic that weakly wrapped itself around your hand.

**_You will not be left alone here long.  Have you decided what you would like to do?_ **

You sat on the edge of the bed.  You rubbed your good eye as you thought about everything that had happened.  Something along the wall across from you caught your attention on the floor.  You stood up, choosing not to answer Gaster’s question just yet.  You squatted down onto the floor and picked up the blue jewel you quickly recognized as a piece of your pendant.  You held it tightly in your hand as you cradled it close to your heart.

“Will you really answer all of my questions?” The words fell effortlessly from your lips as you took in a shaky breath.

**_I will answer any question you ask._ **

You didn’t feel he was lying to you.  You wanted answers.  You wanted to talk to Sans once you better understood magic and souls.  Most of all, you wanted to know about the magic you had, and why Gaster was so interested in you.

“You said you would take me somewhere to answer my questions.  How do you plan to do that?” You asked quietly him as you watched the bedroom door.

**_Allow me to guide your hand, I will lend you some of my magic to create a door._ **

“A door?” It seemed absurd, but everything that had to deal with magic seemed absurd to you.

_**You are familiar with it, Sans calls these shortcuts.** _

“You use shortcuts?” You felt yourself not wanting to participate in this method, “You said the place within those shortcuts was the space between time.  You said when we returned to the space between time you would separate...how can I trust you to not just leave?”

**_You can choose not to trust that I will remain.  Do understand that I originally was planning on trying to leave when would next take another shortcut with Sans.  I could at least guarantee you could leave.  With only myself, I cannot guarantee your safe return._ **

You lightly chewed on your tongue as you followed his words.  You felt uneasy, but you still wanted your questions answered.  “You’ll promise not to leave until you’ve answered my questions?”

**_If it is safe I will remain._ **

You took a deep breath as you shoved the small piece of your broken pendant into your pocket before looking at your empty palm.  “What do you need me to do?”  You felt a strange sensation as the hair on your arm slowly stood on end as the magic’s light intensified.  You outstretched your arm away from you as a gasp escaped you.  “What’s going on?”

**_Relax, allow me to guide you._ **

You took a deep breath as you nodded.  You tried to steady yourself, but it still scared you.  You knew it would be now or never.  “I’m ready…”

As the words escaped your lips you felt as if someone was physically directing your arm out in front of you.  It wasn’t the exact same feeling as if Gaster fully took control of you.  It was almost like you could feel his arm gently guide you in a motion as yours and his magic stretched out pull at a spot in the air.

_**Focus at your fingertips.  Imagine the world splitting in two.** _

You did your best to focus, but the smallest spark made you flinch, “I can’t-”

**_You can.  I will teach you the proper techniques to control magic when we are at our destination, but you first need to listen to my instructions._ **

You held your breath as you held out your hand again.  You flinched once again as the magic sparked, but you steadied your hand quickly afterward.  It startled you at first as a tear slowly began to open in front of you.  You couldn’t help but smile as it was working.

**_Do not lose focus now.  When we are safely on the other side we can celebrate your accomplishment._ **

You didn’t nod but hummed in acknowledgment as Gaster helped guide your hand down to extend the tear.  When it was wide enough for you to fit through you felt the familiar pull as Gaster took complete control.

 _ **I want to ensure that we will make it to our destination.** _    
  
You didn’t get a chance to reply as Gaster took a step into the door.  He didn’t even look back as the tear closed behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter marks the halfway point in the story for Patchwork. I'm sorry Papyrus, but Reader needs to figure out a few things before she is ready to face Sans.
> 
> I really wanted to get this chapter out last night, but I never intended Papyrus's part in this chapter to go on for as long as it did. I'm happy where it ended up, though. 
> 
> It's 8:30 am, my neck hurts, and honestly I'm just ready to try and pass out.
> 
> Shameless tumblr plug for updates: http://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	29. It's Snowing Somewhere Else

“But Sans-”

“Papyrus, I do not want to talk about this right now,” Sans said crossly.  He couldn’t look Papyrus in the eyes as he hung his head low.

Toriel had taken a seat in her favorite chair.  She was exhausted and it was becoming harder to hide her frustration.  She covered her eyes with the palm of her hand as she let out a sigh.

Frisk stood at her side, gently holding onto her arm as they watched Sans and Papyrus argue.

“Sans you are not being sensible!” Papyrus hooked the top of his hands on his hips as he blocked Sans from walking out the front door.

“Papyrus...I mean it.” Sans warned.

“You can’t leave until you’ve properly talked to her.” Papyrus did not budge from his spot in front of the door.

Sans kept his hands in his pockets.  His left hand tightly gripped the broken pendant.  The chain was wound tightly around his thumb and the broken jewel scraped in the palm of his hand.

“I'm not leaving yet, I just need time fresh air.” Sans’ voice became weaker with each word that escaped him.  He didn't want to argue with Papyrus, not after arguing with you.  “There’s just a lot I need to think about.”

Papyrus’ expression seem to soften as Sans’s frustration left him.  He finally moved aside so Sans could walk outside if he still wished.  As Sans approached the door he stopped as Papyrus placed his hand gently on his shoulder.

“She does not hate you, Sans.” Papyrus’ voice was as quiet as it has ever been as he spoke.  

_I wish I didn’t love you…_

Your voice still echoed inside his head.  Your words weren’t as loud as your soul, though.  He could see the anger, the hurt, and the loudest of all, fear.  Your soul had grown dark so quickly it scared him.  Sans was upset that you didn’t talk to him, that you didn’t trust him.  Not that he could blame you after how he reacted today.  Despite all that.  Despite all the anger and pain you laced those words with, you still loved him.

“I know Paps, I know.” Guilt weighed heavily on his mind as he squeezed the broken pendant in his hand.  This time, he knew this was something that Grillby couldn’t help him fix.  Sans turned to look back down the hallway where he knew you were.  He looked back up to his brother and studied his expression before speaking softly.  “You talked with her?”

Papyrus nodded as he removed his hand from Sans’ shoulder.  He cupped his hands together and played with the fabric as he spoke.  “I don’t understand what is going on, but she had calmed down as I left to come out here to speak with you.”

The corner of Sans’ mouth twitches into a smile before returning to its relaxed state.  “I’ve made a mess of things, huh?  You did great Papyrus, thanks.”

Papyrus’ bright smile returned to his face as he adjusted his scarf and proudly rose his chin, “Well, of course, brother!  The Great Papyrus is very good at cleaning up your messes after all!”

While the two brothers talked and calmed each other, Frisk gently shook their mother’s arm to grab her attention.

“My child, are you okay?” Toriel removed her soft paw from cover her eyes to put on a weak smile for her child.  She gently held their hand and moved the hair away from their eyes to get a good look at their face.  Her expression softened as she felt relieved that Frisk was okay.  “Do not worry.  We will figure out a way to help our dear friend.  You do not need-”  Toriel paused as Frisk pulled their hand away.  They looked back down the hall to where you were staying.  Toriel gently wrapped her arms around Frisk and pulled them into a gentle embrace, “You have a big heart, my child.  We will do what we can.”

Toriel slowly stood up, cradling Frisk in her arms as she approached the two brothers.  She carefully adjusted Frisk so she could free up one of her hands as she placed her hand on Sans’ back.  He slowly turned to acknowledge her but looked away as fast as he met her eyes.

Toriel knew she could stand there and lecture Sans for how he acted.  He brought this commotion into her home late last night, waking her from her sound sleep.  Yes, she could scold him for the broken table, the crack in her ceiling, and the overall mess her home was now left in, but she didn’t.  She saw the guilt as well as the concern.  The broken furniture, the cluttered mess, all it did not matter to her as much as her friends and family.  

“How are you feeling?” Toriel’s voice was soft as she watched Sans.

Sans took a moment to think about her question.  It was obvious how irrational he had been.  How he let his anger control him when he should have shown restraint.  He knew she wasn’t asking about that.  He removed his right hand from his jacket’s pocket to tightly grip the fabric at the center of his chest.

“Tibia honest I hurt like hell.” Sans let out a soft laugh as Papyrus huffed.

“Sans!  This is no time for your insufferable puns!” Papyrus folded his arms over his chest as he leaned down over his brother.  Toriel and Frisk quietly giggled as Sans only shrugged at Papyrus.

“Sorry bro, I couldn’t help myself.” Sans let go of his jacket as his right pupil dimmed.  His left eye flared up with the swirl of yellow and indigo magic as a faint blue light enveloped his hand.  A moment later, Sans’s soul floated effortlessly in front of him as he carefully cradled it with his own hand.

Toriel let out a soft gasp as what looked like violet bruises gripped his soul.  Papyrus quickly rushed off to the kitchen with a frantic cry to find something for Sans to eat quickly.  If Sans was worried, he didn’t show any signs of it as he looked at his soul.

“Sans, how is your ho-” She began.

“I’m okay Tori.  Don’t worry.  It will take more than something like this to do me in.” Sans smiled as he watched his soul for a moment longer.  He was familiar with the effects of this magic.  After all, he passively used this style himself.  Beneath the painful bruises, though, he felt something calming, familiar.  He couldn’t help but smile as he returned his soul to his core.

Frisk motioned to be placed down onto the floor which Toriel obliged.  She kneeled next to Sans and took his hand into her’s, “Please do not take me for a fool, you are not okay.  What were those marks?”

Sans looked down at Toriel’s and his hand as he thought of what to tell her.  This magic was unique to him.  At least he thought that up until he saw the marks on his own soul.  It was a poison, it was what enforced his judgments.

“Just my karma.” Sans laughed it off as he pulled his hand back and returned it to his jacket’s pocket.  “Really Tori, I’m okay.”  

Despite knowing what it was, he could feel something else beneath it.  Something comforting, soothing.  The poison, he could tell that wasn’t you, that wasn’t your magic.  Even backed into a corner, you still didn’t hurt anyone out of malice.  A small amount of the poison did seep through, but most of it was being negated by what he felt was your magic.  The poison had to belong to Gaster.  He had so many questions he needed answers to, but first, he needed to make things right with you.

Papyrus ran back into the foyer and quickly thrust the food he had found towards Sans.  “Please eat something, Sans!”

Sans looked through the things his brother had brought him and chose a small piece of candy.  He pulled his hands out of his pockets to unwrap the candy.  The chain of the pendant had become entangled in his hand.  The broken charm slipped from the silver chain and clattered to the floor.  

Sans kneeled to pick it up but stopped as a tiny hand carefully picked it up.  Sans looked up and saw a strange expression on Frisk’s face.  They were thinking, lost in thought as they stared at the cracked jewel.  When Frisk noticed Sans watching them they quickly offered the jewel back.

“Something on your mind, kid?” Sans knew something was bothering them.  Frisk may be a quiet kid, but when it comes to their friends and family, Frisk would sit still for long.  “I don't want you getting any ideas.  I know you want to help, but we need some time to figure this out.  Promise me you won't try to go off and try fixing this yourself.”  Sans took the small stone and glanced at it as his thumb slid across the jagged edge.  He looked back up at Frisk who had started to chew on their lower lip.  Their hands were raised, hesitant as what Sans assumed was Frisk gathering their thoughts.

_“It’s just Sans, Lady Asgore, and ____, Frisk.  There’s no one else there.”_

Sans remembered something Papyrus had said right before Gaster took control of you.

“Hey, kid.  Could you see him inside of her earlier?” Sans said quietly.

“Sans?” Toriel asked as she gently placed a hand on Frisk’s shoulder.  Sans motioned with his hand for Toriel to hold on.  Toriel turned her attention back to Frisk who had nodded and slowly began to sign.

**_I didn’t see what they looked like, but there was a shadow hovering over her._ **

So Frisk could see something.  Before Sans could speak, Frisk continued to sign.

**_I met a few monsters before the barrier broke.  They kept talking about someone named Gaster.  A lot of them didn't make sense.  There was something wrong with them, something wrong with their souls._ **

“Could you tell us what you mean, my child?” Toriel quietly spoke up.  Frisk nodded as they signed slowly.

**_The ones that talked about Gaster said he created the CORE…._ **

“My child, the CORE was created long ago by-” Toriel caught herself as she searched for what she wanted to say.  “I...I’m sorry...for the many centuries I’ve lived below I cannot recall clearly when the CORE was made…”

Sans watched Toriel’s normally calm expression shift to confusion and then worry.  The CORE’s construction and the grand opening was a very important point in their history.  Sans wasn't even born when the CORE had been constructed.  Toriel, on the other hand, would have stood beside her husband, King Asgore, to commemorate the occasion and its creator.  Despite how young he was, he should remember this as well.  Frisk continued to sign.

**_They said that he was brilliant, and they understood why Asgore took so long to find a replacement.  They were worried…_ **

Frisk paused a moment as they flexed their fingers, gathering their thoughts for a moment.

**_They were worried that Alphys would suffer the same fate as Dr. Gaster._ **

“My child, did they tell you what happened to him?” Toriel spoke slowly, almost afraid of what the answer could be.

Frisk nodded but hesitated to sign.  Their hands held out in front of them, motionless.  Sans waited as patiently as he could, but something kept nagging him.  Why was it only now that it felt like something was missing?  Why didn’t anyone ever question the CORE’s creation, or who created it?  The fact that he still held papers that he saved since working at the lab with Alphys so long ago.  Papers that were considered trash, but something wouldn’t allow him to throw them away.  Did they belong to Gaster?  Things just weren’t making sense.

As Frisk began to move their fingers again, Sans felt a strange sensation.  A shortcut had opened.  He quickly looked at his feet, and then to his hand.  It wasn’t him...then who?  Sans stumbled to his feet, startling both Papyrus and Toriel.

“Sans?”

“Brother?”

Sans took off, sprinting down the hall.  The magical sensation felt denser the closer he got to your door.  His hand hooked onto the handle of her bedroom door as he tried to open the door.  Sans’ shoulder clattered against the door as he righted himself.  His hand lit up with his magic as the sound of the lock on the door clicked.  He had done this once before at home when you had locked yourself in the bathroom after an earlier nightmare.  The door to your bedroom opened, and Sans watched as you disappeared inside the shortcut as it closed quickly behind you.

“____!” Sans called out as he lunged forward.  

It was too late.  His hand grasped onto nothing as the shortcut closed a moment before he could reach you.  It was like you were never there at all.  Meanwhile, in the other room, Frisk finished what they were saying.

**_They said he wasn’t with us any longer.  He fell into his creation and shattered…_ **

**~ * ~**

You turned to look back at where the door had once opened.  For a moment, you thought you had heard someone call your name, but you must have imagined it.  You felt your stomach twist as you looked around.  The small white lights of the creatures eyes stopped and stared, motionless at you as you passed through the darkness.  Past them, you saw the familiar images, which now that you could really look, you saw they were framed but you weren’t sure with what.  

You felt your body lurch as Gaster fought for control once more.

**_Do not interrupt me while we are in here, I do not have the magical energy to fight with you for-_ **

You hadn’t meant to force yourself back into control, but with the amount of magic needed to create this door and passage, it had become easier to break his hold over you.  You felt Gaster struggle, but his concentration was broken.  The door to your destination closed as you felt Gaster push you into complete control once again.

**_Do as I say if you wish to not remain stuck here!  Quickly before all my energy leaves me again!_ **

You held your breath as you held your hand out in front of you.  You felt your hand shake as the sudden fear of being trapped here sunk in.

_I don’t want to be-_

**_Then concentrate!  We won’t make it to our original destination, but I can get us close by.  Trust me!_ **

You made a small whimper in agreement as your fear fueled your magic.  You focused on your hand instead of the eyes, instead of the distant images.  You’d have time to ask what all of this was later.  

A small distance away from you another door opened.  You hesitated but felt Gaster urge your forward.

You do not have much time, this is the last I could do.  I haven’t fully recovered from last time.

_Recovered?  But-_

**_DO NOT DALLY!_ **

You didn’t argue as you felt yourself quickly approaching the portal.  It felt like you were being sucked through and you closed your eyes.  As you left the passage, you could once again hear the sounds of the world around you.  The sudden cold caught your attention first before the realization of nothing below your feet.  Your eyes opened as you watched yourself fall to the dark ground below you.  

You couldn’t help but scream as you felt your back connect with twigs.  The sound of the limbs cracking, echoing around you as your mind raced.  Gaster was quiet, but that was the last thing on your mind.  You felt the air in your lungs leave you as you landed in a soft, wet, and cold pile of what felt like snow.

You lay there for a moment, hand shaking as you lifted your aching arm from the pile of snow.  You flexed your hand before trying to sit up.  The scratches from the branches burned and throbbed, but at least you were sure nothing was broken.  

You took in a few slow breaths as you checked where you had landed.  There were a lot of trees.

"Where...where are we?" You asked quietly.

You waited a moment for Gaster to speak before you heard a distant branch snap.  You let out a startled yelp before you forced yourself to your feet.  You felt the blood rush to your head which made you stumble.  You fell back down to your knees as you let out a cry as a sharp pain shot up your left leg.  You reached out to it and your hand to move aside your pant leg.  With the little light you had you could still see your ankle had begun to swell.  You gently pressed your fingers onto the spot, it was warm, and it was tender.  You winced and pulled your hand away.

Around you were the broken twigs and branches from when you fell from above.  You weren’t sure how high up you were, but that didn’t matter now.  You were alive, but you had no clue where you were.  All you could see was snow and trees.  You weren’t sure what time it was, but it looked like the sun had or was setting.  You found what looked like a sturdy branch and stuck it deep into the snow in front of you.  You struggled to your feet, careful not to put much weight on your ankle as you balanced yourself and took a step forward.  You stumbled a few times and you were becoming tired quickly, but at least you were able to move.  Not far from you was a dug out path.  Fresh snow had fallen on it, but it looked at least a bit easier to walk on.

**_Take this path and head to your left.  I need to take some time to recover...forgive me, but please find shelter and get some rest…_ **

“Gaster?  What’s wrong?” You were met with silence, and you remembered what Toriel had told you last night.  Gaster had used a lot of his magic today.  

“No no no!  You can’t leave me alone right now!  I don’t know where I am!  I’m hurt...I’m cold...I...you can’t do this to me!” You yelled out into the twilight as you frantically looked up and down the path.

You knew it was useless, but you still couldn’t help to let out your fear and frustration.  You swallowed hard as you looked down the path.  You could make out in the distance what looked like the outline of homes.  You weren’t in the city, that was for sure.  Maybe you could find someone to look at your ankle and tell you where you were.

You took a deep breath as you struggled along the path.  Your breath was visible in front of you, and you wished terribly you had your shoes.  Your feet burned, and soon you could no longer feel your feet.  The numbing cold help to sooth the pain you felt in your left foot, but at the same time it brought its own pain.

You whimpered as you struggled through the snow.  Your body stung but you did everything you could to focus on the outline of the buildings in the distance growing bigger.  You passed what looked like mounds of snow and a dog house with a small sign next to it.  You glanced over at it but thought it was some kind of joke.  Who would write random dog sounds on it?  You didn’t have long to think on it as you felt your heart drop out of what you assumed was your stomach.

Your legs shook as you found yourself  in front of a rope bridge.  It creaked in the wind, but what really bothered you was how long the drop was below you.  You forced yourself to look up at the town that was not too far from the other side of this bridge.  All you needed to do was cross it.  If you could cross this you would be able to find someone.  Ask for help, ask where you were.

“Damnit Gaster…” You mumbled to yourself as you bit your lip.  You ached, and you wanted to get off your feet.  “Just a little more…”

You tucked the branch under your arm as you held the ropes with your hand and hobbled on one foot forward.  You clung to the side as it swayed, whimpering as you caught sight of the ground far below you.  This was too high...if you fell you could-

“No!  No!  I’ve been through worse than this!” You reminded yourself as you summoned up any courage you had within you.  “Just look forward, I’m almost there…”

You had no clue how long you had been stumbling in the snow.  The cold was painful, but you didn’t want to die out here.  

“Maybe I shouldn’t have listened to Gaster…” You gritted your teeth as the wind picked up, shaking the bridge once again.  You yelped as you felt yourself accidentally put weight on your left foot.  You hissed and took a deep breath.  The cold air burned your lungs and caused you to cough.

“DAMNIT GASTER!” You yelled, trying to keep yourself focus.  As the wind died down you hobbled along the bridge.

A while later you stumbled to the ground, safely on the other side of the bridge.  You were never so happy to feel the cold snow between your fingers as you were now.  As quickly as the relief had washed over you, you were greeted with the painful burning the cold had brought.  You shivered violently as you forced yourself up to your feet once again.  Your strength was leaving you fast, and you were becoming lightheaded.

You focused on the small dark town in front of you.  There was still light out, why was everything so dark?  You couldn’t think of this now as you stumbled forward.  A sign to your left was covered in snow, probably welcoming you to the town.  If you weren’t so cold you’d take a look now, but first, you needed to find shelter.

You took in sharp, quick breaths as you struggled through the town.  You were on the last of your strength, and every door you approached was locked, or you received no answer.  The windows were dark, and it didn’t take long for you to realize that your footprints were the only prints in the snow.  There was no sign of anyone else living in this town at all.

You swallowed hard, wondering what could possibly have caused people to leave.  The outline of the town that gave you hope had quickly became eerie in your eyes.  You were walking among a literal ghost town.  You didn’t think places like this could even exist.

You passed what may have been a shop, a few homes, a restaurant, and you had just left the door of what looked like a library.  You could hear distant water from what you assumed was a river just beyond the tree line.

Fresh snow had begun to silently fall as you approached what looked like the final home.  This place wasn’t very big at all after all.  You fell against the door as you let go of the stick that you balanced your weight on.

_Please...let someone be home…_

“Hello?  Anyone home?  Please...I...I need help…” You weren’t sure how far your voice would carry as you banged on the door.  You let out a soft cry as the silence of the home filled you with dread.  “Please!  Someone...anyone.”

You placed your hand on the doorknob and turned it.  To your surprise, the door opened and you stumbled onto the carpet of the home.  It took you a moment before you rolled over and shut the door behind you.  The home was still cold, but it shut out the wind.  You shivered as you looked around.  

“I’m sorry for intruding!” You called out into what you assumed was the empty home.  You had hoped it wasn’t, but you knew when no one answered your call.

The room you sat in was large. And you could see what looked like a kitchen in a room not too far in front of you.  To your left was a lot of open space.  The floor had indents where furniture once had sat.  You pulled yourself to your feet and balanced yourself on the wall.  You saw there were rooms upstairs.  One of them had to have something you could use to warm up.  

As your feet found the steps you stumbled forward onto your knees.  You gave up trying to force yourself to stand.  You needed to find a place that was warm enough to sleep.  You grunted and took in long breaths as you crawled to the top of the stairs.  Your foot was numb, and the pain had stopped bothering you long ago.  It had to be a mixture of the cold and how tired you were.  

You kept your mind busy as you opened the door to the first room.  There wasn’t anything left in this room beside an old frame for what looked like a child’s bed, and a tape on the walls.  There was nothing left for you to use here and you chose to continue down the hallway.

Your vision began to blur as your head spun.  The door to the second room opened, and you sighed in relief to see an old mattress in the corner along with what looked like balled up sheets.  You crawled over towards the bed and placed your hand on the sheets.  They felt dirty, and it took you a moment to pull them apart.  You chose not to think about it as you wrapped the bedding around you and shivered.  There was an old pillow on the floor next to the mattress as you pulled it back onto the bed.  You felt your body collapse onto the mattress as you closed your eyes.  The room was silent, and there was an odor you couldn’t quite place, but it was comforting.  It was almost familiar, but you must had been imaging it.  

You couldn’t help but cry as you shivered into the dirty sheets.  Your chest felt warm, and you couldn’t help but remember curling up and holding Sans’ hand as you slept last night.  Before you realized it, you had begun to laugh as you felt yourself sob harder.

“I’m sorry...God, I’m so sorry…”

_I wish I didn’t love you…_

“I’m so sorry…”

You whispered to yourself, repeating apologies that fell onto no one’s ears but your own.  You missed being home.  You missed being around your friends.  Most of all, your heart ached, and you missed Sans, despite everything that had happened.  
After all...you still couldn’t help but love him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got this chapter finished. I'm sorry it took a little extra time. It's been busy, and I've had no energy to sit down and write. I do have the next few chapters figured out, so I'll begin working on the next chapter soon. I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Shameless Tumblr plug for updates and if you just want to say hi: http://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	30. A New Friend

You don’t remember when you fell asleep, but you did.  You had become used to falling asleep and seeing distant memories that no longer belong to you.  You sat with your legs pulled tightly up to your chest.  Your arm wrapped around your legs with your chin resting on your knees as you watched a Gaster you didn’t know work away on some papers on a desk.  

This room’s aesthetics were different from the previous memory you saw before.  This place was newer and the colors felt a lot more welcoming than the cold suffocating atmosphere of the...you couldn’t finish the thought as a shiver ran up your spine.  All you could think about was that terrible machine and what it did to those souls.

The room was a bright blue shade, the floors and walls looked liked they were made out of a metal that you weren’t quite familiar with.  The floor was a color of blue similar to the walls.  In the middle of the floor blinked and quietly beeped as fluorescent tubes of what you could only assume was magic lit the walls.  A panel on the wall near the only exit of the room held bright green text in a language you were unfamiliar with.  It didn’t interest you as much as the papers on Gaster’s desk, though.  

You had watched Gaster write for a little bit, he used strange symbols and numbers that you couldn’t remember if you’ve seen or not before.  Whatever he was writing, something wasn’t working out as Gaster let out a frustrated sigh.  He cradled his head in his left palm as his right shoved the papers he was working on onto the floor.  The pages scattered over the floor and you felt the room around you vibrate and hum.

Gaster stood up and walked towards the panel.  He keyed in something and the familiar diagram of the soul container came up and filled with the various colors.  Each subject labeled with a corresponding trait.  Kindness, Integrity, Patience, Bravery, Perseverance, Justice…

You stared at the screen and bit your lip.  You were at a lost for words, your muscles tensed as you bit back the mix of anger and anxiousness you felt deep within your core.  You forced yourself to look away from the panel Gaster was focused on.  This would just be one more question to add to all the rest.  

A quiet tap came from the door which you almost missed over the hum and mechanical beeps the floor made.  One of Gaster’s disembodied hands moved just out of his reach to press a button to unlock the door.  The door hummed and you felt a bit of cool air rush into the room before a damp heat filtered in.  You pushed yourself off the floor and walked over to stand next to Gaster’s desk where it was cooler.  

“D-D-D-Dr. G-G-Ga-Gaster?”

You couldn’t help but jump at the familiar voice.  You turned quickly to see the small familiar yellow monster you had come to know.  This wasn’t the Alphys you knew, though, of course, she was different.  She looked younger, her frame was smaller, and she held the stack of papers tightly against her chest.  Her head was held low, and her eyes looked up before they looked back down to the floor as Gaster turned to acknowledge her.

“What is it Miss Alphys?  I am very busy with the upcoming experiment and I do not have time for idling here.  If you have brought the papers I requested please put them on my desk and leave me to them.” Gaster keyed in another code to the monitor.  The screen flashed and the terrible machine from the lab flickered onto the screen.  Gaster turned away from it and walked back to his desk and opened a drawer.  He pulled a large rolled up parchment from the drawer before a pair of disembodied hands retrieved it from him and carefully unrolled it.

The paper was worn and showed just how much it had been used.  You could also see the care that was put into keeping everything that was written neatly intact.  There were no tears, and only the edges appeared lightly frayed.  There was more of Gaster’s strange writing and a very elaborate schematic.

“Oh y-y-yes s-s-s-sir!” Alphys squeaked as she hurried over to his desk.  She was inches away from you.  If you held out your hand you were sure you could be able to reach her.  It wasn’t the Alphys you knew, though.  This was her from the past.  You held your hand out to try to place it on her shoulder but you felt nothing on your palm as your hand passed through her.  She looked nervous, more than usual.  She couldn't look up at Gaster to meet his eyes for long and she kept her voice small.  

Once she placed the stack of papers onto the table she turned and kneeled onto the floor to collect the other scattered papers that Gaster had discarded earlier.  She didn’t need to pick up his messes, you didn’t understand why, in her position, she would do this.  She pulled herself upright after collecting the scattered pieces and returned them to their proper place on Gaster’s desk.  She took a few steps and stood on the other side of Gaster and looked up at the parchment in front of him.

Alphys looked back up to Gaster.  Her lips moved as if she was trying to speak but she stopped.  She fiddled with her empty hands, picking at her nails before she looked up and finally forced out what she wanted to ask.

“I-i-is every-th-thing re-ready for th-the ex-experiment?” The words finally left her lips as she took another step forward.  She focused on the schematic and diagrams.  She went to reach a clawed hand up to touch the paper but Gaster’s hand quickly grabbed her's and directed it away.

“Everything will be ready.  My team has been preparing for this for several decades.  You do not need to worry yourself with this.” Gaster directed Alphys around and began to walk her towards the door.

“I c-c-can as-ssist you!” Alphys spoke up quickly.  Her voice cracked as she looked up to meet his gaze but her’s quickly fell back to the floor.

“This project has been my life’s work.”  Gaster stood in front of his door as Alphys took the final few steps on her own.  She turned to face him as she stood in the hallway.  “I cannot afford for there to be any mishaps-”

“I c-c-can h-h-help!” Alphys begged as she clasped her hands together.

Gaster stood silently as his left hand hovered over the keypad that operated his door. You could hear the slow intake of his breath before he let out a sigh.  “My team is full of the brightest minds the whole of the Underground can offer.  You may have fooled our King, but a fraud could never fool me.”  Before Alphys could speak Gaster pressed a button on his keypad and the door shut tightly between the two of them.

You bit your lip as Gaster turned away from the door and returned to study the parchment in front of him.  You wanted to yell at him, to tell Gaster to apologize to Alphys.  She wasn’t a fraud.  She was the Royal Scientist.  She was your friend.  

You jumped as you felt a hand grab your shoulder.  It pulled you back which caused you to stumble.  Someone caught you, and you couldn’t hide your sour expression in time.

“You are in a place you do not belong…” Gaster said slowly as he tried to close off this memory from you.  His voice was quieter, weaker than it was before.

“You always say that like it’s perfectly fine for you to intrude on my memories!” You pulled away and turned to face him.  You glared up at him, still upset with his past self.  You ignored the way he sounded for now.  “You treated Alphys horribly!  She is not a fraud!  How could you say something like that to the Royal Scientist!  She-”

“She was not the Royal Scientist.” Gaster interrupted.

“Alphys wouldn’t lie!  She told me she was!” He already called her a fraud, you weren’t going to let it stand him calling her a liar now.  

“She didn’t lie either.  At this time, in this memory, she is not the Royal Scientist.” Gaster motioned backed to his memory.

You turned back to watch as the Gaster put away the diagram and returned to look through the new stack of papers.  You took a deep breath and exhaled slowly to let go of your agitation.    You’d have time for this later.

“What was that giant piece of paper for?  What was the drawing and what language are you writing in?” You attempted to walk closer to the memory but Gaster held you back.

“Do not worry about this, it does not-” Gaster began.

“No!  You agreed if I left Toriel’s and came here...to wherever _here_ is and you would answer me!“ You wanted answers, and now that he was awake you could obtain them.

Gaster sighed as he turned away from you.  “I did promise that I suppose…”  He mumbled to himself before speaking quietly.

“I’m sure you heard mention of it, an experiment?  It was my life’s work.  My purpose.  My distraction.  I was younger then, foolish even.  I truly thought that what I was doing would free our kind from our prison.”  

“What about the souls?  The colors and traits?  The...that machine...what was it doing?  What did it do?” You clutched your chest as you recalled the painful sensation you felt in that room.  “It...it looked horrifying…”

Gaster did not turn, he only continued to speak, “That machine extracts the soul’s magic.  It extracts a magic that our kind can not have.  Determination.”

“So those souls were types of determination?” You asked as you looked back at the panel.

“No, I did not understand what Determination was back then.  That was discovered by Dr. Alphys.” Gaster admitted.  “I gave her less credit than she deserved.  She may have received her title under a guise, but she does have a brilliant mind when she focuses.”

“You’ve said that twice now.  Explain.” You turned back to face him.  Gaster hadn’t moved since he began to speak.  At least he was being compliant now.

“She claimed to have made an artificial soul, but that’s not what happened.  I believe she mentioned him by name.” Gaster finally turned to face you.  He didn’t look at you but looked passed you at the memory.

You pulled your hand away from your chest and stared down at your palm.  Was he talking about Mettaton?  It had to be.  You figured asking Alphys about her being the Royal Scientist.  You had so many other questions you wanted to ask.  You just didn’t know where to start.  You flexed your hand and remembered what brought you here.

“Can you tell me anything about my magic?” It scared you, it scared your friends.  You wanted to know what happened to the memories that shattered.  What it meant.  

Gaster didn’t reply.  He pressed the tips of his fingers together as he became lost in thought.  You stood in silence, anxiously waiting while you listened to the sound of the Gaster behind you shuffled through papers on the desk.  You tried to be patient, but the silence was killing you.  You opened your mouth to begin speaking when Gaster finally spoke.

“Your magic is unlike a magic I’ve seen before.  The only thing I am certain of at this time is that it sets a balance for yourself.” Gaster paused as he held out his hand.  You hesitated to take it as he led you away from the memory.  

A new memory unfolded around the both and you tensed up at the sight of the boy who had assaulted you.  Gaster froze the memory in place and approached the small yellow soul he held in your hand.  Gaster pointed towards the soul and where his magic had started to take effect.

“Normally, the magic of our color does not take an instant effect.  It is a slow process, and it is based on our perception we hold of our target.  If we hold positive feelings towards our target, we inspire them.  If we hold negative feelings towards them, our magic would seep deep within their souls to slowly bring them to their knees.”

“I don’t want to hurt people…” You remembered what Sans had said about this before.  He called this magic a _poison_.

“Do not worry, your magic hasn’t manifested this way as of yet.  Your soul does have the qualities to do so, but you’ve only been able to do so by borrowing from me.  The door and karma have been borrowed magic from me.”

“Borrowed from you?” You echoed his statement as you flexed you pulled your hand from his to look down at your palm.

“Yes.  I do not have a physical body of my own.  It takes a lot to allow you this privilege and I rather not offer it carelessly in the future.  The more I become exposed, the harder it is to recover from it each time.  This is why I cannot stay if I wish to preserve what I have left.”  Gaster sighed as he finished speaking.  “I am sorry, but I do not have a clear answer for you at this time.”

“Convincing Sans you only wish to leave now won't be easy.” You mumbled.  “Why did you attack him?  Was it really because I said your name?  That I told them about you?  I don’t understand what the problem is!”  You reached out and grabbed Gaster’s hand once again.  “I don’t understand you!  Every time I get a little peak into who you are you pull me away.  The memory of the lab, the memory of Alphys, and the memory with that monster that-” You didn’t want to say it, "you felt the pain, the Gaster I experienced those memories with.  I know how you felt, I-”

“You could never understand.” Gaster pulled his hand away quickly from you.  He no longer held the calm demeanor from before.  The whites of his eyes replaced with a luminescent violet aura.  You felt a deep anger, almost hatred and you instinctively took a step back.

Around you, a new memory began to form but you were afraid to let Gaster leave your sight.  Gaster took a step towards you.  He reached out but stumbled as you backed away.  “How could you ever understand the things that have happened to me?”

You caught a glimpse of what looked like Gaster as a child that manifested between you.  He held a book in his hands and held it up to someone who wasn’t there.  Another bulky looking skeletal monster stood proudly before him.  He wore a plated armor that made him appear even larger than what he actually was.  Despite his intimidating armor and size, his expression was soft and that of someone who was extremely proud of the child before him.  Without any hesitation, the larger monster collected Gaster into his arms and took the book from his’s hands.  Gaster pouted for a moment as he reached for the book but stopped as a woman holding a swaddled child materialized next to them.  You instantly recognized her as the monster being attacked by the teenager with the yellow soul.  

“Is this...was she…” You looked passed them to look at the present Gaster.  He had stopped to stare at the memory.  A terrible grief began to build up within you as your heart ached for the scene in front of you.  “Gaster I-”

He finally broke his gaze on the scene and he banished it as quickly as it had formed.  “Everything I ever had, ever worked for has been ripped away from me.”  Gaster memories began to flash in front of you.  His hopes, wishes, dreams, sadness, anxiety, and everything in between began to flood into you.  You watched as his life literally flashed before yours.  

You saw Gaster grow from the child he was into a responsible older brother.  He and his mother would sit outside as she would read to him and his younger sibling, it wasn’t until later you felt something familiar.  You couldn’t ask as his memories changed so quickly.  You saw a glimpse of him as he got older, him reading at a desk and writing notes to the day he stood outside a large building next to someone you recognized right away.

“Toriel?” She was gone as fast as she appeared.

“Wait, Gaster, what’s going on?” You finally asked but the words got stuck in your throat as the memory from the lab flashed before you.  The things that the monsters in the memory said echoed as they spoke over each other.

_“You haven’t even stopped to grieve.”_

_“Enough!”_

_“You’ve given many of us Hope.”_

_“How could this happen…”_

_“Where are you!”_

_“Mom needs you here!”_

_“I need you here!”_

_“He won’t stop crying.”_

You could hear the little things you couldn’t before.  You could hear the distant crying of a small child.  The young child, the boy must have been Gaster’s younger brother.  Gaster held a heavy heart.  It felt like at any moment Gaster would fall apart, but he held onto something that kept him going.

“I distanced myself from them.  My promise that we’d come to see the surface.  I became a monster by more than just a name.  The things I did just to reach my goal was for naught.  I was always a foolish child who promised that I would free us from our cage.”  Gaster had begun to shake as the image of him cradling the woman you now understood to be his mother slowly lay dying in his arms.

The words that were lost to you before you could hear as clear as day now as she quietly spoke to Gaster.

_“They need you...Sans gets so lonely when you don’t come home…”_

Your breath caught in your throat as your stomach began to knot.

“No...no no no no no!  This doesn’t make sense!  How?  You’re lying...Papyrus wouldn’t lie!” You rambled off the thoughts in your head but stopped as his mother pointed off in the distance.  A fair amount away a teary-eyed, scared skeletal child stood.  He was missing a front tooth, and it was clear that he didn’t know what to do.  You couldn’t deny the resemblance any longer.  That had to be Sans.  “How?” You whispered.

A moment later you let out a scream as Gaster pushed you off balance as he pinned you to the ground.  The memory vanished but a new one replaced it.

“Why?  Why is it that you who possess no time is allowed to remain?  You, who squandered your existence worrying about trivial things.  This gift that was given to you, and you chose to idly live as if you had already passed on.  How could you ever understand what I have been through?  How everything I worked for, gave up, neglected, was for naught?  How is it that I was allowed this consciousness to see everything I’ve ever done be forgotten?  For I, to be forgotten…” His grip on you loosened but he still pinned you to the ground.

You could finally see the memory that played on behind him.  He was falling, and you felt an intense pain within you that you couldn’t begin to describe.  It took your voice, you couldn’t breathe, all you could do was stare up at the image of Gaster being pulled apart piece by piece.  You don’t know if it was the fear that you felt that caused your magic to react, but you felt a pulse at your core as you held out your arm in front of you to try and push Gaster away.  Your magic tendriled around him, pushing him up and away forcefully.  You still couldn’t catch your breath as Gaster’s expression softened.  The same velvet black that you saw when the two of you first met dripped from Gaster as his solid form deformed in front of you.  You shook as you sat up and stared up at the monster in front of you.  Your lips moved, but still, you could not speak.

“Do not look at me that way…” Gaster said quietly.  His voice echoed as he cast his gaze to the ground.  “You were just another anomaly found in the threads of time when I first observed you.  I admit I hated you.  Why?  Why were you allowed to continue?  Was determination really all that you needed?” His voice became hoarse as more of him dripped to the ground.  “Why must I be forgotten?”

Your magic tightens its grip and you waved your arm out in front of you.

_N̖͕͛o̲̿͝,͉̗͎ n̰̂͐o͋̿᷾,᷊̬᷾ n̩̒̓o̻̺ͨ᷁,̩᷇̿ n̶̳ͅo̗͚ͮ,̫͙͛ n͂̅͟ŏ̫̕,̰͉᷊ n̶̰͊o̷̹̍!᷃ͮ̆ Ï̪̖̟͘ d̶̏͢o̢᷊͒n̦͊᷀’̪͖̋t͚̗͊ w͇᷃͡a̮ͣ̌n̆ͦ͋t̸̜ͥ t̶̙̊h̟᷾͢ì͉̉s̲᷿̩!̣̃͑ P̳̙̄l̢̛ͯ͆᷄e̬͊̃á̰͢s̪̮ͭe̶̟̝ s̴͑̚t̑͢͞o̭̩͕p᷅̕͝!̝̝ͩ S᷉᷆ͅẗ͇̜́̅o̴̻᷈p̧̱̘ͥ᷁,͇͒͟ ͓̊s̮͉͕t̜̺᷇ͧ̈́o᷇ͥ᷆p̶̅̕,̼̭̻ ṡ͐̓ṯ̡̄͡ọ̉͗p̋̑᷾,̠̈᷉̄́ s̴͖̋t̾ͫ͠o᷂̘̊p̨ͩ̽!̳̞͋_

You mouthed the words but you couldn’t speak.  The same static as before echoed out around you and you tightly shut your mouth.

_Why...why is this happening now?  I didn’t want this, I didn’t want to hurt anyone...Why can’t I make this stop?_

You pleaded to yourself as you watched Gaster deteriorate in front of you.

The corner of Gaster’s mouth twitched into a smile as his gaze rose to meet yours.  “Do not worry.  I was just not meant to stay in this thread for very long.  When you awake, head back to your right and go to the river.  There are very few left here that can assist you.  Ask them to take you to Hotland.  Once there-”  Even if you couldn’t speak, you had forgotten that you could still communicate mentally with him.

_Hotland?  Papyrus mentioned-_

“Yes...I took us to where it all began.  Just listen for now...please.” Gaster's voice had grown much weaker, and you bit back the urge to interrupt him.  “You will find an elevator not far from the river.  Take that as far as you can to find yourself at the CORE.  You will find my room still in tact.  You’ll find a journal I kept regarding my observation on the human’s souls.  I’m sure you will find some answers to your questions within.  The code for my room is the same as the traits listed on the machine...you’ll understand when you see it.”

_How do I stop this?  I don’t want this...please tell me how to stop!_

You tightly shut your eyes.  You couldn’t watch as you begged for it all to stop.  You heard a quiet chuckle that just barely reached your ears.

“Take a deep breath, and wake up.”

**~ * ~**

You gasped as you bolted upright.  You shook violently, a mix between the bitter cold and the horrible experience you went through.  You pushed the blankets away and held out your hand.  The magic that you clearly felt still hummed around your finger tips and you instinctively reached for your soul.  Your magic called out for your soul, and the old room you slept in was bathed in a violet light.  You were relieved at first when you saw the black veins clinging to your soul still, but realized not long after that they were receding.

“No no no no no!  Gaster!” You shouted into the stillness of the house.  

You ignored the throbbing pain from your ankle as you twisted and kicked the blankets off of you.  Your fingertips sparked brightly with your magic as a black crystal was pulled from your soul.  You continued to call out, begging for Gaster to answer you, but you receive no response.  You no longer felt his presence deep within you.

The crystal fell to the floor and bounced next to your knee as your magic disappeared from your hand.  You felt your soul return to your core and you sat silently staring at the black gem in front of you.

“Gaster?” You spoke softly as you carefully picked up the gem.  It was cold, and didn’t feel any different from an ordinary gem, but you knew.  Deep down inside, you knew.

You cradled the gem close to as you.  Your ragged breaths were the only sounds that echoed off the empty walls in the room.

“You jerk…” You hoarsely whispered as you squeezed your eyes shut.  “You said I couldn’t understand...but I do.  I understand how lonely it must have been for you.  After losing everything you loved...I understood...you understood…”  You didn’t know when you started laughing, but soon the room filled with the echoing of your broken laughter.  “You left me here...all alone...how do I even get home?  Why did you want me to come here?”  You couldn’t help but laugh as you covered your good eye with the back of your hand.  You held the crystal tightly in your hand as your body shook from the cold.

You don’t know how long you sat there.  You felt ridiculous at how upset you felt.  Gaster has only caused trouble for you since he first spoke to you.  You finally understood why you had become so comfortable with Gaster as quickly as you did.  He was just like you.  He had lost everything.  Unlike you, though, he wasn’t able to move on.  The old wounds that still pained your heart hurt, but being able to honestly talk to those you cared about had been enough to start it’s healing process.

Sans had looked at you as a person.  He saw the person that you were within and looked passed the scarred shell that was your body.  You remembered the first time Sans showed you your soul.  You can remember now just how careful he was, how delicately he held your soul as if treasuring it, treasuring you.  He saw you at your worst, but he still stood by your side.

Sans experienced you as a person, he was with you as you experienced the tragic memory that you had been lucky enough to even survive.  He accepted you, and he had been protective of you and your soul after that.

_“Why must I be forgotten?”_

Gaster never had time to heal.  You still didn’t understand why anyone couldn't remember Gaster.  Why couldn’t Sans, or Papyrus remember?  He knew Alphys, he was the Royal Scientist...why couldn’t they remember?

_“You’ll find a journal…”_

The journal Gaster spoke of, maybe it could help.  You had to try.  You wanted to know why he brought you here, to Underground, in the first place.  You safely stored the crystal in your pocket before you took a deep breath.  You dried your eye and examined your ankle.  It was swollen, and you needed to cover your feet before you tried to go back outside again.  

You had pulled yourself up to stand as best as you could on one foot and hobbled back towards the first room.  You stumbled a few times but caught yourself on the banister to steady yourself.  The room was still empty, but you noticed a closet you didn’t see before.  You slowly made your away across the room to open the door.  You were relieved when you found an old worn out jacket that was just a few sizes too large for you.  It would do to keep out some of the cold.  You reached and pulled the right sleeve through to the inside before pulling the jacket on over your head.  You didn’t want the sleeve to get caught on anything, and there was no way for you to tie it, so you did the best you could.  On the floor of the closet was a pair of oversized slippers as well.  You smiled as you slipped them on the best you could and prepared yourself to go downstairs.

You were winded when you reached the bottom of the stairs.  Your muscles ached and you didn’t know how you were going to make it to Hotland at this rate.  You took a minute to catch your breath before you hobbled to the front door.  You took a slow, long breath as you braced yourself for the weather.

You felt a rush of cold air that just seemed to seep through where you could feel it deep within your bones.  It was cold, but you had prepared yourself for this.  You took your first step onto the step and looked around for the stick you had used to help you balance yourself.  You sighed as you saw it had fallen over off the step into a pile of snow.

“Of course…” You mumbled to yourself as you held onto the post next to the door.  

Your foot sunk into the fresh snow as you left the final step and you turned to retrieve your walking stick when you caught sight of something reflecting in the glass of the window.  You felt your blood run cold as you caught a glance at a pair of red glowing eyes and a familiar grin in the window.

You let out a silent screen as you stumbled backward away from the window.  The soft snow broke your fall and you felt your heart pounding in your chest.

“No...I’m just seeing things…” You spoke to yourself as you leaned forward to grab the stick and plant it firmly into the ground beside you.  You pulled yourself up to your feet.  It took you a moment before you forced yourself to look into the window once more.  You were relieved when you saw yourself staring back at you.  “Just...seeing things…” You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.  You couldn’t help but laugh lightly at yourself before you turned to your left to start your long journey to Hotland.

“Howdy!”

You stopped in your tracks as you blinked a few times in disbelief.  This was just another trick of your mind, right?  There was no way this could be real.

“Looks like you’ve hurt yourself, _friend_.  Golly, that looks like it hurts!”

No...you definitely weren’t seeing things.  A small, yellow flower was truly speaking to you right now.

“H-hello?” You stumbled across your word as you still couldn’t believe what you were seeing.

The flower smiled brightly and tilted its head to it’s right.  It almost seemed amused as it watched you.  
  
“My name’s Flowey, Flowey the flower.  You seem awfully lost.  It appears you could use my help!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Closer to getting back to a once a week schedule. I'm just off by three days now.
> 
> Anyway. Gaster answered a few questions, and we finally got a look into the mental state Gaster has been in for a while now. We still don't know why he brought Reader here to the Underground, but we'll worry about that later.
> 
> With the crystal safely stored, and a destination in mind, we're on our way to exploring the Underground, hopefully our new "friend" will prove helpful~
> 
> Thank you for reading, we'll get a peak at what Frisk, Papyrus, Sans and Toriel are up to in the next chapter. Either way, I'm off to sleep. Enjoy~
> 
> Shameless tumblr plug for updates: http://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	31. The Hope That We Had Lost

Sans stood quietly in the room as he watched the world mend itself.  For a moment the thought crossed his mind if this was how he had made his brother feel when he ran away to someplace he could go.  Sans shook his head as Papyrus followed by Frisk ran into the room.

“Brother?” Papyrus was the first to break the silence as he be looked around the room.  It didn't take him long as he scanned the room to notice you were no longer there.  “What happened to-”

“She left, Papyrus.” Sans said evenly.  He shoved his hands into his pockets and continued to stare at the space you had just been moments ago.

Frisk was the first to approach Sans as they reached out and grabbed the fabric of his hoodie’s sleeve.  Sans turned slowly, recognizing who it was and turned to face them.  He didn't speak as he let out a tired sigh.

Frisk pulled their hand away as they began to sign something.

**Are you okay?**

Sans stood there as his shoulders began to droop.  His smile felt weak as your last words echoed again in his head.

“Yeah kid.  It's nothing I can't handle.” Sans turned away from the spot you were and attempted to leave the room, but stopped as Toriel stood in the door behind Papyrus.  She reached out and placed a gentle hand on Papyrus’ shoulder and held out her other hand for Sans.

“Please follow me out to the other room.” Toriel waited a moment longer before she stepped forward and took Sans’ hand into her own.  “Come now, friend.  You are exhausted.  Come sit in the other room for a short while.”

Sans couldn’t protest as he felt her hand firmly grip his as she begun to lead the brothers back to the main room.  Sans followed behind her quietly as Papyrus held onto her other hand.  The happy smile that had finally returned to his face early had fallen again.  

Toriel guided the two to sit on the couch before she took a step back.  There wasn’t a word spoken between the three of them as Toriel cupped her hands and held them loosely in front of her.

“I will be back shortly.  I need to make a few phone calls.  Please wait until I return.” Toriel left the two on the couch as she walked back to her bedroom to make a few private phone calls.

Sans leaned his elbow on the left arm of the couch before cupping his chin in his hand.  Papyrus fidgeted with his hands.  Papyrus couldn’t sit still before he took to his feet.

“Sans?” Papyrus asked quietly.

“Just sit down Papyrus and wait for Tori.” Sans said quietly.  He shut his eyes and focused on his breathing.  He just wanted time to think about everything that had happened today.  He wanted to know where or why you decided to go.

“Sans, I know that she would not leave unless she had a good reason too.  She was going to come talk with-” Papyrus began before Sans interrupted.

“Papyrus!  Just, stop, please.” Sans let out a heavy sigh.  He didn’t open his eyes until he heard Papyrus quietly shuffle his feet and the weight of the couch shift to his right.  Papyrus didn’t deserve this.  He didn’t deserve to be lashed out at.  “Papyrus, I’m sorry.  This is just something that you can’t force.  I know you just want to help, but you need to let me handle this on my own.”

“I’m afraid to leave this for just you to handle, Sans.” Papyrus spoke up softly.  “I worry, brother.  I worry that you will put up the walls around yourself that you have been chipping at for a long time.  I don’t want you to feel you need to put on a brave face for anyone,” Papyrus paused before he whispered the last part of his thought, “for me.”

Sans opened his eyes and turned his head to speak but hesitated when he saw Toriel emerge from her room down the hall.  She looked upset, but she quickly pulled herself together and adjusted her posture to stand up straight.  Sans couldn’t help but think that her old habits of being the Queen still dictated how she handled herself when in view of others.  She was in a position where she could not show her subjects when she was losing hope.  She needed to be strong for them, as she is trying to be now.

Toriel held herself well as she returned to the living room and stood before the two brothers.  “I have called Alphys and Asgore.  We need to understand more about the being that has been using your friend.  If he, if Gaster was the Royal Scientist we need to figure out what he is doing and why he needs the help of your friend.”  Toriel paused, the uneasiness that she felt at her core.  She took a deep breath to calm herself as she turned to Sans.  “When the three of you shared souls-”

“It wasn't like that.” Sans abruptly stated.  “It was only the two of our souls.  Whatever Gaster was, he didn't have a soul.  I know that for a fact.”. Sans clutched at his chest above where his soul would be.  The marks still pained him, but if this was truly meant to hurt him, he knew he wouldn’t be sitting here now.  He didn’t know how to explain what he felt.  He was too wrapped up in his own self to notice this at the time.  

“There wasn't another soul?”. This worried Toriel, but she was also relieved.  “I don't quite understand but for now we need to think about our friend.  We do not know where she would have gone or even if Gaster was the one to lead her away.  Despite everything that was happening earlier, I did not sense malice towards us.”. Toriel’s phone began to ring and she turned away from the two.  “I am sorry to be rude but I must take this.”. Toriel took a few steps away from them and answered the call.  “Hello?”

Sans leaned back onto the couch as he focused on his soul. It bothered him how familiar this felt.  He could feel your soul and it helped calm him, but Gaster’s magic is what he was trying to concentrate on.  It felt familiar and he didn’t understand why.

_What have I told you about using your magic on others?_

A breath caught in Sans’ throat.  It was sudden, and light a spark the voice and feeling was gone in an instant.  Sans clenched his hand over his jacket tightly and he realized a bead of sweat trailing down his temple.  That had to be a trick.  All of this was messing with his head.  That voice couldn’t have belonged to…  Sans shook his head as he stood up.  He took a few steps towards the door before he was stopped.

“Sans, please don’t leave…” Papyrus pleaded.  His gloved hand had caught Sans’ arm holding him firmly in place.

“I’m not going to leave.  I just want to get some air, promise.” Sans let go of his jacket and realized how much his hand was shaking.  He placed his hand on Papyrus’ and focused on the direction of the front door.  He felt Papyrus’ hand flinch below his.  He knew Papyrus could feel him shaking, and he didn’t want to worry his little brother more than he already has.  “You can come with me if you want.”

Papyrus was quick to his feet as the two of them passed Toriel.  She turned away from her phone for a moment before Papyrus pointed towards the door.

“We will be outside Lady Asgore!” Papyrus pointed towards the foyer and smiled.  “We will leave you to your call so do not worry about us!” Toriel nodded, a smile returning to her face as she turned back to speak with whoever she was on the phone with.

Sans held the door open for his brother to walk out onto the steps.  Sans shut the door quietly behind him before joining Papyrus.  He felt the wind blow over him as he looked over the small yard in front.  Papyrus and Frisk had been building snowmen and Papyrus was back to perfecting his self-image in the snow.  He couldn't help but smile as he remembered the place him and Papyrus made sculptures back in Snowdin.  He looked up to stare at the darkening sky.  There would be no stars again tonight.  

Papyrus had been happy Sans invited him outside, but his joy only lasted until Sans stood next to him.  His hand found Sans’ shoulder, a sign of his silent support that he was always giving to Sans.

Sans could stand there silently like he always did.  He was thankful for the support Papyrus gave him.  He doesn't remember when Papyrus started or he stopped asking him what was wrong.  Sans knew whatever the reason was his fault.  He knew he never talked to Papyrus about his problems.  He only told Papyrus he was having nightmares because Papyrus would leave him alone until he spoke.  Sans sighed and he forced himself to reach up to grab onto the end of Papyrus’ scarf.

“Do you...do you remember anything from living in New Home?” Sans’ voice was quiet, but Papyrus could still hear him over the wind and distant sound of cars.

Papyrus stood quietly next to Sans as he thought over the question.  “I remember it being the two of us for a long time.”  Papyrus had just gone over this with you and wasn’t quite ready to speak about it again so soon.  “I like remembering when we were living in Snowdin more.”

“Yeah…” Sans could understand that.  New Home didn’t really feel like home anymore.  Snowdin was their home for years.  Sans felt they haven’t really found their place on the surface just yet.

Papyrus squeezed Sans’ shoulder as he watched a car drive slowly down the street in front of them.  When it was out of sight Papyrus spoke up.  “I told ____ about Mother…”

Sans felt his entire body stiffen at the mention of their mother.  After a moment to look up at Papyrus.  Papyrus refused to look at him but continued to stare out towards the road.  “Why?  She didn’t need to-”

“I thought if she could understand why you were like you are she wouldn’t be as upset with you.” Papyrus finally turned to Sans to meet his gaze.  Sans could see the sadness in his eyes as he continued to speak.  “Ever since...ever since you came home you haven’t been yourself.  We didn’t lose only Mother that day.  I lost you, Sans.”

“Papyrus, you know that’s not true.  I’m standing right here.” Sans let go of Papyrus’ scarf as he placed his hand on Papyrus’ glove.  “I’ve always been-”

“No, Sans, you weren’t.  When you came home, you weren’t you.  You stopped caring.  You just...were.” Papyrus’ gaze fell as he couldn’t handle looking at Sans anymore.  “You didn’t care for a long time.  It took me running away to find my brother again.  The brother I looked up to for so long.” Papyrus took another deep breath before he placed his other hand on Sans’ shoulder and shook him.  

“You always keep things to yourself.  You bottle up your thoughts and never let anyone know what’s going on.  We’re your family Sans!  We care about you.”  Papyrus stopped shaking Sans as his own body began to shake.  “When you started having nightmares and wouldn’t leave your room I was afraid I was going to lose you again.  You closed yourself off from everyone again and I didn’t want to see you lose any more hope.”  

Papyrus didn’t pause as a car turned down the street at the end of the road.  “I don’t like not knowing if I’m going to lose you again.”  

Sans steadied himself on his feet as he tightly gripped Papyrus’ wrists.  He had always done what he thought he needed to.  He wanted to protect Papyrus, protect everyone from ever feeling as hopeless as he had felt.  He _needed_ to be okay.  He _gave up_ everything for Papyrus.  He would bear the weight of his fears and insecurities.  He deserved to be happy.

“Sans, I never know what is bothering you.  I was happy when the nightmares had stopped.  Living on the surface had done wonders for you.  I thought you were getting better, that you would regain the hope you had lost, but you didn’t.  When Toriel had to move here into the city and told us that there wouldn’t be enough room for the four of us, I know it upset you.  You shrugged and put on the same false smile you’ve always worn before.  I know moving in with a stranger was scary, but at least it was easier when it happened to be the human that helped when Frisk was sick.”  Papyrus pulled his hands away and rubbed his face before watching a familiar car pull up to the curb in front of Toriel’s home.

Sans turned to look at the road to see Alphys climbing out of the car bundled in a giant coat.  She hadn’t looked up at them just yet as she was still speaking to Undyne in the car.  Sans turned back to look up at Papyrus and whispered quietly, “I remembered something Mom had said earlier...I don’t know why, or what it was for, but it just unnerved me.  I don’t like not knowing who Gaster is, and why he’s bothering ____.  I just needed to take a breath of fresh air, ground myself.”

Papyrus turned back to Sans and a gentle smile appeared on his face.  “Thank you for telling me, Sans.”

“Hey!  What are you nerds doing out in the cold?” Undyne called from her side of the car as she closed her door.  She walked towards the back seat and opened the door to grab a large bag before meeting Alphys to approach the steps.

Sans and Papyrus separated as they turned back towards the front door to help them inside.  Papyrus was the first to speak as bounded out into the yard to meet the two of them to help with their bags.  “Why are you guys here?”

Alphys pulled the scarf from around her mouth and responded through chattering teeth, “Ms. Toriel called us and requested I come over right away.”

“The two of you got here pretty fast then.  We you two in town?” Sans held the door open as Alphys hurried past him into the house.  Papyrus wasn’t far behind as he bounded up the steps and into the house.  Undyne had stopped in front of the door as she waited until Papyrus was out of sight.

“You two okay?” Undyne asked.  Her voice was muffled by the orange scarf she wore around her neck, but Sans could still hear the worry in the tone of her voice.  Her question was sudden but Sans expected it.

“It’s been a rough day.  How much do you guys know?” Sans motioned to go inside so they could speak in the foyer.  Undyne stepped inside with Sans on her heal.  The door shut tightly behind him to block out the cold January wind.

Alphys had removed her gloves and was undoing her scarf as she turned to look towards Sans and Undyne.  Sans could sense how nervous she was as well as see how fidgety her hands were as she worked on the knot of her scarf.  Undyne stepped forward and helped untie the scarf, remove her hat, and help her out of her coat.

“Go on.  The Queen was waiting for you.  I’ll be along soon after I speak with Sans.” Undyne kneeled down before pressing a kiss to the small yellow monster’s forehead.  A smile returned to Alphys’ face as some of her nerves settled.

“O-okay.  Please don’t be long...” Alphys peered over her shoulder to Sans before returning her attention to Undyne.  “...this is something everyone should be here to discuss.”  Alphys leaned up on her toes to press her forehead to Undyne’s affectionately before hurrying off into the living room where Toriel was.

Undyne began to remove her own winter clothes as she began to speak in a hushed tone.  “Alphys was just locking up at the office when she received the call from Toriel.” Undyne paused as she glanced over towards the living room where she could hear Alphys speaking to their Queen.  “Whatever they talked about it didn’t sit well with Alphys.”  Undyne finally glanced back to Sans who had stood quietly leaning against the door listen to her speak.  “Alphys went back into the office to retrieve a journal and folder she kept there over the holiday.”  

Undyne turned away once again and glanced around the room.  When she didn’t see what she was looking for she turned and grinned.  “I know Papyrus is here, did you bring your _girlfriend_ or did you leave her at home for this super-secret monster business?”  Undyne searched her pockets for her phone and held it in her hand when she found it.  She flipped it open and stared down at the notification before glancing back to Sans.  “She said she would call me back later, but I’ve not heard back from her yet.  Does she not like phones either?”

Sans shook his head as his shoulders sagged, “There was a problem, last night.  It will be explained with everything else.”

Undyne folded her arms over her chest.  The grin that was on her fair a moment ago was replaced with a thin line as she pressed her lips together.  “Sans, where is she?”  Sans couldn’t answer that.  If he knew, he would have gone after you.  Undyne unfolded her arms to take a step closer to Sans but stopped as she felt a firm hand grip her shoulder.  She turned to see Toriel who wore a strained smile.

“This is not a time to become angry with one another.  Please come take a seat.  We are waiting for another before we begin and discuss why I’ve called you here.” Toriel led the two back into the living room where Alphys and Papyrus sat.  Papyrus was helping Alphys unpack a few of her bags that contained journals and stacks of papers.  Undyne pulled away from Toriel and sat next to Alphys who watched her cautiously before looking up to Sans.  He could only nod as he took a seat on the couch next to Papyrus to wait for their final guest.

**~ * ~**

The sun had long since set and the lights from the streetlamps illuminated the still winter night outside.  Occasionally a car could be heard turning down the road but to everyone’s annoyance it would drive slowly pass before turning off onto another street.  Toriel had gone into her kitchen to make some tea for everyone as well as to keep herself busy.  

Sans had stood up and leaned against the wall with the kitchen at his back.  He couldn’t sit still any longer and he started to jump at any sound.  He had hoped that you would have contacted someone, anyone, by now.  He knew you didn’t have a phone, but still.  In his pocket he still held onto the purple fragment of the pendant that he had given you.  He didn’t understand why it had returned to its original state but he would worry about that later.

Another car turned down the road and everyone sat in silence.  When the car came to a stop you could feel the wave of relief everyone felt.  Toriel glanced up at her door before turning back to the tea.  The sound of her placing the teacups on the tray were a little rougher as the glass clinking together echoed throughout the small home.  It wasn’t long before a soft knock came at the front door.

Undyne was the first to her feet as she approached the door.  She opened it wide and smiled up at the familiar face.

“I figured it was you we were waiting on.  Glad to see you’ve finally made it!” Undyne hurried forward, not waiting for Asgore to come inside before she embraced him in a tight hug.

Asgore’s stolid expression shifted suddenly at Undyne’s embrace.  He now wore a soft, affectionate smile as he placed one of his large hands on her back as he returned the kind gesture.

“It has been a while since I have seen you.  I hope that you and Alphys have been well.” Asgore pulled away to get a good look at his former Captain.  Asgore gently guided her back inside as he leaned forward to squeeze himself into the home.  Human doors were rather inconvenient for his size.  He closed the door behind him and removed his winter hat and coat.  He draped them over his arm and stood up once again.  He was still wearing a suit along with a sash with an embroidered emblem that everyone could recognize as the Delta Rune.  To the humans, this symbol represented the monster race as a whole.  They never understood, nor cared to understand the symbolism behind it.  It was a reminder of the prophecy.  

Toriel walked passed Asgore and Undyne carrying a tray with a full teapot and enough teacups for everyone.  She paused in her steps as she nodded to Asgore.  There was an air of agitation, but it wasn’t directed to anyone in particular.  Asgore, however, gazed down to the floor as he held his hat to his chest.

“I am sorry I am late Tori-el…” Asgore caught himself as Toriel turned to continue into the living room with the tea.  “I had a few things to look over before the human officials would allow me to leave for the day.  If everyone is here, we can begin.”

Asgore did not waste any more time as he followed after Toriel into the living room.  Papyrus scooted over on the couch and gently pat the seat for the King.  He smiled and approached the small group and scanned the room.  “I see that everyone is here, ah!” He stopped when he did not see the smallest member of their group.  “Where is Frisk?”

Toriel looked up and down into the hall as she finished pouring a cup of tea.  “They have been quiet this evening.  Sans, would you please go and check on them?”

Sans shrugged as he left his place by the wall to mosey on down the hallway.  He peered into Frisk’s room and rapped his knuckles on the wood door but Frisk was not there.  He continued on down the hall and stopped as he spotted the human child in the bedroom you and he had shared the morning before.  Frisk sat on the side of the bed with their back to him.  Sans couldn’t see, but they were looking at something.

“Whatcha got their kiddo?” Sans leaned against the doorframe as Frisk jumped.  They closed the small book and placed it on the bed beside them.  Sans recognized it quickly as your art pad and took a few steps into the room.  “Hey, you know better than to look through other people’s things.”

Frisk climbed off the bed and turned around to face Sans.  Sans noticed right away the despondent look they had as their eyes glanced back over to the book.

“Don’t worry kid.  We’ll figure out something.  Once we can figure out what this Gaster wants we will be able to find ____.” Sans held out his hand as Frisk slowly walked around the bed towards him.

Their small hands held tightly to their chest as they chose not to take Sans’ hand and continued past him towards the living room.  Between leaving your room to meeting everyone in the living room they had masked their worry as they ran up to Asgore and gave him a hug.

Sans watched over them for a moment before turning back to the bed.  He couldn’t help but remember the last words you had said to him.  They still hurt, but part of him just couldn't help but believe you.  He shook his head and returned to the living room where everyone was waiting.

Asgore had put on a smile for Frisk as they greeted him but that moment had passed as he now looked around the room at his friends and family.

“Most of us are aware of the dark secret our kingdom has kept.  I have made a terrible mistake that I could spend a lifetime and never pay back.  I have kept another secret from all of you that I am sure you can all guess without further explanations.” Asgore's eyes were full of regret as he chose to seek out Alphys.  Alphys leaned against Undyne as she wrapped her arms around herself.  Her eyes fell to the coffee table where her papers were stacked.  Asgore drew in a solemn breath as he chose his words careful, “After I had chosen Alphys to become our Royal Scientist I entrusted to her a the task to create a soul that would break the barrier.”

Alphys cleared her throat as she pulled the glasses off her face before carefully cleaning the lenses.  Undyne wrapped her arm around Alphys’ shoulder and squeezed her gently.  Alphys placed her glasses back and adjusted them before moving aside some papers to find the journal.

“I-I never told anyone, but when I was doing re-research on the human souls I came across this journal in the castle.  I do not recognize the ha-handwriting, and there are some parts that I do not understand the language.”  Alphys opened the journal and caught a folded piece of paper that fell from it in her hand.  She tucked the journal under her arm as she unfolded the detailed blueprint.  Toriel cupped her hands over her mouth when Alphys turned to show her and everyone else in the room what was on it.

“What is that?” Undyne leaned up on her knees to get a better look.  

There was a language that no one could recognize.  No one, except Sans that is.  He took a few steps forwards and reached out for the blueprint before Alphys pulled it back.  The page was extremely detailed.  It listed the souls on both the left and right.  Their color was represented with a few scribbled lines outlining their interior.  The machine listed parts and listed what looked like instructions.  There were very few words on this paper that they could understand, but the title at the top was written clearly for them all to read.

_Soul Extraction_

“Th-This paper is very old.  I have been taking care not to tear it.  This, and a few other blueprints helped me create what I call the Determination Extraction machine back in my old personal laboratory.”  Alphys folded the blueprint and placed it on the table before flipping through the journal.  “My machine w-was not the original, and I do not know where the original is…”  Alphys closed the journal and opened the cover.  “The re-reason this is important is because of the owner of this journal…”  Clear as day for everyone to see was a name everyone had come to learn that afternoon.

_W.D. Gaster_

Undyne was the first to speak as she climbed to her feet and folded her arms over her chest as she looked towards the kitchen.  The chairs were still in disorder but the table had been set up the right way.  It was clear that something had happened here.

“So let me get this straight…” Undyne gripped her forearms tightly as she shifted her weight onto her right foot.  “So this journal has details on this machine, and it has information on the human souls Asgore was keeping?  Why is this such a big deal?”  The room was silent which only irritated Undyne further.  She began to tap her foot and let out a low growl.  

“It means that he at one time had access to the same human souls…” Sans said flatly.  As Alphys was distracted he was able to take the journal from her claws and gently flipped through the book.  He made a quiet clicking sound as he couldn’t pretend the handwriting wasn’t the same as the few documents he had.  “You found this in the castle?”

Alphys frantically reached for the journal but Sans effortlessly pulled away from her grasp.  When she realized he would not return the journal that easily she let out a dejected sigh before adjusting her glasses.

“Yes.  I found that journal along with papers here and there while looking through the CORE.”  Alphys motioned to the table that had papers and folders scattered over it.  “There is a lot here that I do not understand, but it is because of these that I was able to maintain the CORE as it is.”

“So if this guy had access to the souls that means…” Undyne rolled her hand as she watched Sans close the journal and hand it back to the eagerly waiting Alyphs.

“As the Royal Scientist, the only scientist, only the King and I had clearance to access the souls.” Alphys’ voice was quiet as she tightly gripped the journal and looked back over the papers.

“Hold on, if only you and Asgore had access to the souls, why did this guy have a journal written about them?  Who was he anyway?” Undyne switched the weight from one foot to the other as she unfolded her arms and hooked her hands on her hips.

“We don’t know…” Alphys admitted quicker than anyone expected.  “Asgore and I discussed it once I looked over the journal.  This was a security risk.  We needed to find Gaster and ask how he came to learn of the souls.  The only problem was nobody had ever heard that name before.  There were no records of them anywhere.  The more we looked, the more questions arose.”  Alphys paused as she looked up to Undyne, “Do you remember when the CORE was constructed?”

Undyne smiled as she nodded.  She took in a deep breath to proudly exclaim it before she stopped.  Alphys held the journal in her left hand as she reached out and wrapped her claws around Undyne’s fingers.  She gently squeezed them as Undyne looked down at her.

“This is why it is important.  There are a few things that don’t make sense and Toriel said she may have met them?”  Alphys spoke quietly as everyone turned to look at Toriel.  She sat quietly as Frisk at one point went to her side and held her hand.  Her stern face broke as she smiled down at Frisk and ruffled their hair gently with her free hand.

“It’s very unsettling knowing that someone who had great importance in our history has been forgotten.” Toriel let out a sigh as her eyes shifted to gaze at Asgore.  His eyes met hers and a mutual understanding could be noticed between the two as Toriel rose from her seat.  “For so long we lived without the CORE.  I remember the grand celebration we held as we stood at it’s entrance for it’s grand opening.  I remember thinking how now everyone could live without need to use their own magic just to light a stove, or light their way through even the darkest of passages.  The CORE brought light to our dim world.  It brought us hope that we were able to survive, despite our harsh environment.”  Toriel’s gaze fell to her hands as she looked down at Frisk.  Her smile was sad, and her heart ached as she leaned down and placed a kiss on their forehead.  

“I remember the day I left the castle.  As I traveled by Hotland I heard the echoes of the CORE.  It was like it’s own being as it groaned.  It echoed the grief I had let build up in me and it reverberated deep down within my core.”  Her smile faltered as her expression became solemn.  “I am ashamed that I did not stay when our Kingdom needed me most.  I cannot change what happened in the past nor do I know if there was anything I could have done to save the lives of the humans who had become sacrificed for this-”

“Not all the humans who passed through were kind.  We had our share of losses Toriel.” Asgore’s deep voice rumbled over Toriel’s.  “Innocent monsters lost their friends, their children, their parents.”

Papyrus took to his feet as he quietly cleared his throat.  “They were probably scared.  I don’t think they meant too.  They were all alone away from home.  Maybe they were scared?  It could have been a misunderstanding.”

Sans didn’t have the heart to argue with Papyrus.  He wasn't stupid.  He knew that their mother was a victim.  Sans had never explicitly told Papyrus the exact details that surrounded their mother’s death and maybe that is why Papyrus could come to an understanding of the human so easily.   Papyrus always tried to see the best in everyone.  Sans felt his anger boil up inside as he recalled the day long ago.  The human that killed their Mom didn’t make a mistake.  He did it on purpose.  There was nothing anyone could tell him to make him believe otherwise.

“So where did Toriel meet him?” Undyne saved the heavy mood that had started to settle among the small group.

Papyrus chimed in quickly with a smile, “He is ____’s friend!”

The room fell silent as everyone who didn't understand glanced over towards Sans.

“It's a bit complicated.  She was possessed.  That's the best way I can describe it.  He had done something to her soul.” Sans could feel his magic begin to well up within him.  It took Papyrus approaching him and placing a hand on his shoulder to calm him down.  

“Possessed?” Alphys squeaked as she nearly dropped the journal.

“Where is she now?  You refused to answer me earlier.” Undyne clenched her jaw as she took a step towards Sans.

“They had a fight and she left…” Papyrus said quietly.

Frisk was the first to step between Undyne and Sans as they held their hands up.

“Get out of the way squirt.” Undyne said evenly through clenched teeth.  Frisk shook their head and stood their ground.  Undyne felt two large hands grab her shoulders and firmly hold her.

“I have had enough fighting in my home today.”  Toriel said sternly.  Undyne shook her off and turned to Toriel.

“She’s our friend as well!  How long did you guys know this?  Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Undyne demanded as she looked over her shoulder at Sans.

“Look, I just found out a few hours ago.  She didn’t tell anyone until it was too late.  If I had a clue where he took her I’d have gone after her instead of wasting time here!” Sans pulled away from Papyrus and left the living room.  

Undyne shrugged Toriel off and turned to follow but Papyrus grabbed her arm.  She turned on him and stopped when she saw Papyrus’ worried face.  The room went silent as they heard a door down the hall slam shut.  Papyrus spoke in a hushed tone as he watched down the hallway where Sans disappeared to.

“They had a fight before she disappeared.  Something happened when they shared their memories and the two of them haven’t spoken since.  She disappeared when Frisk told us what they heard of her friend.” Papyrus finally released Undyne as she calmed herself.

“So, besides him possibly being the previous Royal Scientist, what else do we know?” Undyne turned to look at Frisk who stood silently by her side.  “Sorry squirt.”  Undyne knelt down and ruffled their hair as she forced a toothy smile.  “She’s an important friend for us all, I got a little carried away.”  Frisk returned her smile.  They pushed Undyne’s hand away and leapt up to wrap their arms around her neck to hug Undyne tightly.

Frisk pulled away and quickly signed for everyone what they told Toriel, Papyrus, and Sans earlier.  Everyone had settled down that had remained in the living room and spoke quietly to themselves as Alphys looked through the journals.

“Who were those people Frisk talked to?  I can’t recall them either.” Toriel thought out loud as she leaned back in her chair.

“If Gaster was shattered across time and space due to an accident with an experimental machine he had created, it’s not unlikely it was a machine having to deal with the human souls.  Asgore may have made a different request based on Gaster knowledge.  If he did truly create the CORE, it also isn’t unlikely he was tasked to create a machine to create a soul strong enough to break the barrier.  Beyond the machine I used to extract Determination from the souls, I don’t know what type of machine he would have created.”  Alphys closed another folder as she picked up another from the table.  Her eyes looked heavy as she skimmed over the written words on the papers.  Most of the files were unreadable as they were written in the same language the journal was written in.

Undyne pulled the folder out of Alphys’ hand with little resistance and placed it on the table.  “I may not understand the technical stuff and anything these documents may hold, but if we couldn’t remember before, and still can’t figure out anything based on the few new details Frisk has given us I don’t believe we’re going to make any headway.” Undyne said quietly as she rested her head on Alphys’.

“The power hidden within human souls is still vastly unknown to our kind.  Anything is possible when a human is involved.” Asgore said as he slowly stood up from his place on the couch.  “Undyne is correct, I do not believe will find out any further information then what is already known to us now.  If we were to actually ask Gaster, maybe we could have our questions answered, but until the human returns with them, we will have to wait.”  He turned to Toriel who had also risen to her feet.  “It has become late, and for now I believe it is best I return home.

**~ * ~**

Toriel’s house had grown silent and almost everyone had fallen asleep.  Undyne and Alphys took over Toriel’s couch and Papyrus stayed with Frisk in their room.  Sans had stayed locked up in the spare bedroom since earlier that evening.  He held your bag in his lap as he sat on the side of the bed.

Sans was looking for anything that may give him a clue on where Gaster could have taken you.  The contents of your bag was spilled over the bed as he picked through everything.  You grumbled at the amount of random things you kept in the bag but also surprised.  He hadn’t seen you work on anything recently, but each tool in your bag showed it’s wear as he sorted things out.  There was a small bag full of colored pencils, some of them broken in half or random colored shavings dirtying up the bottom.  You had a nail file for whatever reason, but he spotted a black wax at its tip and put it aside.  He jumped when he heard a soft knock at the door behind him.

Sans stood up and approached the door when he didn’t hear a reply.  Another soft knock gently rapped on the door.  Sans unlocked the latch and propped the door ajar.  Frisk stood in front of the door holding the same pad of paper as they were earlier without a word Sans opened the door and allowed Frisk to enter.

“Pap keeping you awake?” Sans asked, trying to avoid the subject of earlier if he could.  When Frisk didn’t respond but crawl up onto the bed Sans hurried over to start throwing things back into your bag.

“Hey, careful.  Sorry, it’s a mess.  I was just looking for something.”  Sans didn’t notice at first when Frisk held the pad out in front of them.  Once Sans had cleared the bed he took a seat next to Frisk and took it from their hands.  “What’s this?  You writing something?”  Frisk shook their head and opened the cover.  Sans noticed right away the style.  This was your art book.  “What were you doing with this?”

Frisk leaned back and signed in the darkness.  Sans used his magic to flip the light switch on as he watched Frisk explain.

**I was waiting to talk to you, but there’s something in here that you need to see.  I found it on accident when I was looking through her drawings earlier.**

“It’s bad to snoop through other people’s things Frisk, you know that.” Sans flipped through the pages and saw studies on shapes, perspective, people, places, and animals.  When he came across a small sketch labeled Captain Pasta he couldn’t help but laugh.

**You were just doing the same thing…**

Sans continue to chuckle as he flipped the page and saw a sketch of Papyrus in the book.  “That doesn’t count.”  Sans continued to flip through the book as he came across the view from the hospital and paused.  It seemed so long ago now but he sighed as he was getting ready to close the book, “What did you want to show me, kid?”

Frisk quickly stopped the book from closing as they flipped a few pages in the book.  What Sans saw next saw he felt his breath catch.  A shadowed figure with red eyes with an eerie smile.  Sans quickly turned the page only to be met with a ghastly figure surrounded in black with piercing violet eyes staring back at him.  It was haunting, and it made him nervous but he quickly recognized the being.

“Gaster…”

Frisk pulled the art pad from Sans’ grip and hesitated before flipping the page.  Sans felt a growing pit within his core as he saw an image of a shadowed figure standing over Papyrus’ battle body outfit and his red scarf.

“How?” Sans’s voice was rough as he quickly flipped away from drawing just to be met with another horrible scene he could recognize.  Sans sat there, flipping through the pages of his nightmares materialized on paper.  When it came to Sans’ turn, he found an unfinished sketch of the mosaic window.  There were a few scribbles on the page but overall this one had the same shadowed figured with the wicked smile.

Sans remembered the memory and that you had said you had more “dreams” like that one.  He hadn’t given it much thought since he had other things on his mind.  He flipped to the last page where he saw a monster in a lab coat standing next to a familiar machine that Alphys had.

“You think she’s there?” Sans glanced over at Frisk who shrugged but nodded.  They held their hands up and signed something as Sans flipped the lights back out.

**It’s worth a try.  If he was the Royal Scientist then he may have gone back to his lab.**

Sans nodded as he placed the art pad in your bag and swung it over his shoulder.  “I guess this is a good place to start.  Hope you’re right.”  Sans took a few steps and put a little distance between him and Frisk as he held his hand out.  He turned back when he felt Frisk tightly grasp ahold of his jacket.  “Whoa kiddo.  You can’t come.  Tori would have my head if you weren’t here in the morning.”

Frisk shook their head as they signed something quickly to Sans.

**No way!  You can’t leave me behind!  I’m the one that showed you this.**

Sans sighed, he didn’t want to stand here and argue.  “Fine, but if we don’t see her then we’re coming right back.”  Sans wrapped his arm tightly around Frisk and held them tightly against them.  “Remember, eyes shut and keep a hold of me.  Stay by my side, I can’t spend tonight looking for the both of you.”

Frisk closed their eyes as Sans split the world in two before them.  The empty blackness echoed out and Sans pulled Frisk along as he took the step into it.  The door snapped as it sealed itself behind him.  Leaving the room quiet as if they were never there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, sorry about that.
> 
> After many weeks of not updating we're finally here. This chapter just didn't want to be written. Getting back to any solid schedule just looks like a pipe dream right now. Writing information sit and talk type of chapters are difficult for me. Papyrus has been on of my favorite characters to write for since I started figuring out the role I wanted him to play in Patchwork. He's what keeps Sans grounded and steers him to focus on what's important.
> 
> Reader will return next chapter, along with a certain yellow flower. It's time to let the fun begin.
> 
> As always, thank you for taking time to read this, and thank you for the lovely comments. They mean so much to me.
> 
> Shameless Tumblr plug for updates: http://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	32. Finding Solace

You must have a fever.  You couldn’t help but laugh as you turned away, hoping that if you glanced back the flower would have been gone, but instead, it sat there in the snow, smiling at you.

“You, you’re actually talking to me?” You gripped the stick tightly in your hand.  You could still feel your heart pounding from what you saw in the window of the house.  

“Who else would I be talking to?  It didn’t look like you hit your head when you fell.” The flower’s smile twitched at the sound of your laugh.

“No, no, I’m fine.  I...I'm sorry you surprised me.  Do you know where I am?”  You paused as you felt your face heat up.  “I’m sorry!  I...I didn’t catch what you said your name was.”

The flower brighten up with your questions and quickly spoke, “Flowey!  It’s Flowey the flower!  I don’t see many of your kind around here if anyone lately.”  As Flowey spoke, his body waved back and forth as if on an invisible pendulum matching the speed of his speech.  “You’ve found yourself in Snowdin.”

You weren’t sure what it was about them that made the hair on the back of your neck stand on end, but you hugged the stick tightly to yourself as you balanced yourself.  “I’m trying to get to Hotland...I fell and...wait...I’m in Snowdin?”  You took another glance around.  The dim light messed with your sight as you tried to get a better look around.

“Your kind sure has trouble with falling down here…” Flowey’s voice was almost too quiet for you to hear.

“What was that?” You asked as you looked back at the flower.  They had been long in thought for a moment before a smile returned to their face.

You still didn’t know what it was about Flowey, but something didn’t sit right with you.  You took a step away before nodding your head in place of a wave.  “I have to go...there’s some place in Hotland I’m supposed to go.”

“I can help you there.  That’s what a new  _ friend _ would do.” The flower smile grew wider as it disappeared into the ground.  

You frantically looked around to try and see where Flowey had disappeared to.  When you didn’t see him you turned and took a few shaky steps through the snow.  You froze as you felt your air leave your chest as you felt your soul being pulled from you.  You felt yourself resist shut your eyes to focus.  You couldn't help but jump as you felt something coil around your waist.  You let out a surprised yelp as the stick you clung to was forcefully pulled from your hand.  You opened your eyes just to watch it disappear somewhere off to your right.  Flowey coiled himself around where their head was just hovering inches in front of you.  

“Why are you trying to leave so suddenly?  Can’t you see I am offering you  _ help _ .” Flowey tightened his coiled vines around you as his face came into focus.

You stared at them as you watched his face warp in front of you.  You instinctively grabbed ahold of the closest vine and pulled at it.  It didn’t give way but only painfully tightened it’s grip around you.  You could hear it stretch and snap as Flowey’s face molded into something more sinister.  Behind his head, you could see the glow of your soul which only made his smile grow wider as he began to laugh.

“Golly, that’s nice a friendly expression you’ve been wearing friend.  Hasn’t anyone ever taught you manners?” Flowey said mockingly.

You grit your teeth as you let go of the vine around your waist and reached up to firmly grasp the thin stalk that held the flower upright.  Flowey did not like this and narrowed his eyes on you.

“Let go of me!” You grunted through gritted teeth.

You felt yourself getting lightheaded from the lack of oxygen as you pulled at Flowey’s vine.  You saw a glint of white float up from behind Flowey to hover just above him.

Flowey only smiled grimly as his smile curved into a twisted smile.  “You’ll have to make me.”

You fought against Flowey and you let out the last of the air held within your lungs as you felt Flowey lift you from the ground.  You squeezed your eyes tightly as you tried to pull with all your might.  You froze as you heard Flowey speak again.

“Why don’t I teach you the rules of the Underground.”  He paused as he waited for you open your eye and look at him.  His eyes narrowed as you realized the white specks of light floating behind him were reminiscent of pellets, almost seed like.

“Rules?” You hoarsely breathed out as Flowey loosened his grip to allow you to breathe once again.

Flowey smiled as he leaned back and moved so that his body moved out to get a good luck at your soul.  His expression soured but his words were as cold as ice when he spoke again.

“Down here, it’s  **_K I L L O R B E K I L L E D . . ._ ** “

**~ * ~**

Sans refused to let go of Frisk’s hand as they stumbled together around Alphys’ old lab.  Frisk held their hand out in front of them as they held their brilliant red soul.  Frisk’s soul was the only thing that illuminated the dark corridors as they listened for any sign you were around.

“I guess Alphys didn’t want to keep this place powered,” Sans spoke to no one in particular.  Half of the machines in the lab were silent as they lifelessly sat nestled on their shelves or hung from the walls.  

Alphys had figured out how to limit the power directed to parts of the Underground before Undyne and her moved outside of the city.  There were a few still who chose to remain living in the Underground.  Some were scared to leave, others didn’t feel they’d have a place to go.  As long as they were happy staying here that’s all that mattered.  

Sans sighed as he stopped in place.  He took one last look around before tugging Frisk closer.  “Come on kiddo, doesn’t look like she’s here.”

Frisk pulled their hand away and shook their head from side to side quickly.  They quickly signed in protest.

**We need to check upstairs!**

Sans slumped his shoulders but nodded.  “Alright, it's the last place we’ll check before I take you home.”

Sans placed his hand on Frisk’s back and pulled the child close as the two fell into the darkness of his shortcut.  After a moment the two stood on solid ground in the darkness that used to be Alphys’ home.  The heat generated from outside was more noticeable and Frisk gently tugged on their shirt’s collar before taking a few steps towards the entrance of the lab.

Sans looked around, he was hopeful that you would be here, but his smile faltered when he quickly realized that Frisk and he were the only two there.  In the dark, Sans could still see outlines and indents where things would sit.  Alphys’ old desk left scuff marks on the floor, the fridge had left a noticeably weighted indent in the floor.  The hole in which Mettaton burst through the wall was still there, boarded up, but it was still visible.  Ascending the steps Sans couldn’t help but chuckle noticing the empty bookshelves.  Alphys, of course, took her material with her when she left.  The old work table, broken tools, were all that was left of the upstairs.  Sans walked to the other end of the room and placed his hand on the wall in front of the second set of stairs.  He traced the outline of the remnants of an old poster that hung there before turning back to the stairs.

“Not here either squirt.  C’mon.  I gotta get you home.” Sans shoved his hands into his pockets and looked around the lower floor for Frisk.  He spotted them quickly.  “What are you looking at?”

Frisk had leaned over the giant computer controls pressing buttons.  Sans recognized this as Alphys’ old surveillance system and didn’t give it much thought from there.

“We are flying blind here kid, we’ll figure something out later.  Let’s get you home and in bed before Tori wakes up.” Sans placed his hand on Frisk’s shoulder before they turned around to tightly grab Sans’ hand.  They gently tugged on Sans and pointed at the blinking light.

Sans scooted Frisk over to get a better look as he finally noticed the hum of a computer that still held power.  “Huh, so Alphys didn’t completely shut the power off here.  Why would she leave this on though?”  Sans glanced over to Frisk who was encouraging Sans to use the computer.  “You know what this is?”

Frisk nodded before carefully signing.

**Alphys used this to watch me while I was traveling through Underground.  If she is here, we may be able to see her on the monitor.  The light is on, it has to be running, right?**

Sans placed his right hand on top of Frisk’s head and lightly ruffled their hair.  “If Alphys kept the power on for her surveillance system, I can’t imagine she’d cut power to her cameras.  It’s worth a look.”

Sans effortlessly turned on the monitor and began pressing the buttons on the control board with practiced ease.  Frisk and Sans covered their eyes temporarily as the electronic light suddenly banished the darkness they had grown used to.  A moment later a picture of the CORE was visible on the screen along with text indicating the names of the other cameras.  Some of the cameras were grayed out with a large red labeled over their names that read “DEACTIVATED”.  Upon selecting them, the screen would flash blue.  

Frisk leaned over Sans and pointed at the camera in Waterfall that had a blinking indicator.  Sans quickly flipped to that camera and watched as a cloaked figure sat on a dock as they looked over into the bright, shining, clear water that Waterfall had become well known for.  Sans held his breath as his hand hesitated over the controls.  Could this be you?

The figure turned only to disappoint.  They slowly stood up, careful so their figure was still hidden underneath the robes as a familiar creature approached them off shore.

“Just the River Person…” Sans mumbled to himself as he leaned back as he flipped to another camera.  He flipped through the other cameras with the indicators, recognizing a few of the monsters that chose to remain behind.  They were happy living out their quiet lives.  

Sans glanced back again at Frisk who smiled brightly after seeing a few monsters they recognized.  Sans couldn’t help but smile as he reached to turn off the monitor.  Frisk grabbed his hand and pointed to the last that was blinking on the display.

“Frisk, it’s time we go.  It’s probably the Slime family.” Sans reached to press the switch again but Frisk wouldn’t let him go.  They shook their head and pointed to the camera.  Sans sighed as he pressed the button to switch to the camera.  He didn’t watch the screen, not wanting to be disappointed again.  Sans only looked up at the screen when he saw Frisk’s lower jaw drop slightly.

Sans looked up at the moment he saw the familiar Flower that had entangled them near the barrier.  What he was worried about though was who he saw in his grasp.

“No!” 

Sans placed his hand on Frisk’s shoulder and tightly gripped the fabric there.  Without so much as a word, the two disappeared from in front of the monitor.

**~ * ~**

Sans let go of Frisk as soon as his feet touched the soft snow.  He didn’t look back as he ran forward as blue bone materialized at his fingertips before he threw it towards you as he held out his other hand and forced your soul to shift to blue. 

You couldn’t see what was going on as you saw the purple light of your soul change suddenly to a deep blue.  You inhaled quickly as you saw a brightly colored bone phase through you and strike Flowey who tightened around you for a moment before quickly uncoiling himself from you.

You fell to the ground and the snow broke your fall as your soul returned to normal and return to your core.  You looked up just in time to see Flowey wince in pain as he glared passed you to someone before disappearing under the snow.

You took in a deep breath as you pushed yourself up as best as you could before a flash of blue and gray flashed in front of you before you felt yourself being pulled into a tight embrace.  It didn’t take you long to realize as your nose pressed against the fabric of the hood and the all too familiar scent of someone you didn’t think you’d see again so soon.  As he cradled you in his arms and held you tightly against him, you could hear his breath and feel his chest rise and fall as his fingers entwined in the hair as he held the back of your head.  You felt your hand wrap around him and grip tightly onto his food as buried your face into his chest.

“I-”

“Shh!  Don’t.  Please, let me speak.  Just...don’t say anything…” Sans quickly cut you off as you felt his head rest on the top of yours.  You could only nod as he hugged you tighter.

_ I didn’t think I’d ever see you again… _

You leaned into him as spoke.  You were relieved he was there.  The anger you had felt towards him had vanished.  All that mattered was the moment right here and now.

“Look...you shouldn’t be down here!” You could feel his voice vibrate through his coat as he stumbled over words as he spoke in a hushed tone into your ear.  You tried to pull away to face him, but he wouldn’t let you move.  Sans grip only tightened around your shoulder as he held you firmly to him.  “Look, if you hate me, I can live with that.”  Sans loosened his grip around you as he took in a deep breath before continuing.  “I’m at the end of my rope.  I know I was pushing you yesterday, but you need to understand I’m at the end of my rope with ya.  I can’t know what’s going on with you unless you talk to me.  I don’t like what’s happening to you, I don’t like seeing your soul looking like this.”  Sans pulled away finally to look down at your face.  He adjusted you in his arms so he could lift his hand to brush your hair out of your face.  “Just let me help you.”

“I don't hate you.” Your words were quiet as you let go of his jacket to seek out his hand.  You gripped the end of his hand with yours and softly traced your thumb over the tips of his fingers.  “I’m sorry, Sans.  I didn’t mean it.  I’m just frustrated, and nothing's making sense to me.  Everything about souls and magic is just confusing. Gaster has made this all so complicated.  “I just...It’s only been just me for so long.  I just never needed to ask for help.  I’ve taken care of everything on my own.”

“You’ll learn…”  The concern written on Sans’ face quickly changed as he pulled his hand from you.  You felt the familiar sensation of Sans pulling at your soul before it emerged to illuminate the two of you.  Any agitation Sans felt was replaced with confusion as he stared at your violet soul.  There were no signs of the foreign magic that belong to Gaster visible on your soul.

“He’s gone...I don’t feel him anymore.” You had answered him before Sans even asked.

“Gone?” Sans glanced over at you as he held out his hand to guide your soul as he inspected it.  His confusion faded as a relieved smile crept onto his face.

You could only nod as you reached into your pocket and fished out the crystal you had found this morning.  “I think this is what Gaster was…”  The black crystal reflected against the twilight that lit Snowdin and reflected a deep purple onto the snow just beside you.  Sans couldn’t help but stare at it as he tried to find his thoughts.

“Maybe that’s what they meant…” Sans mumbled to himself as he returned your soul safely to your core.

“Huh?” You pulled the crystal away as Sans reached for it.  “What do you mean?”

Sans watched as you put the crystal back into your pocket before he stood up and held out his hand to you.  “I’ll explain in a bit, let’s get-” Before he could finish the familiar chime of his cell began to ring.  He fished his phone out of his pocket and chuckled to himself as he saw who was calling.  He glanced up at Frisk and flipped his phone open, “Looks like they discovered we were gone.”  

You looked back just as Frisk ran over to your side and wrapped their small arms around your neck.  You couldn’t help but smile as you sat up and wrapped your arm around them, “Frisk?”

Frisk crawled into your lap and leaned back as a smile widens on their face.  You held onto them as they leaned far enough away so that they had enough room to sign.

“Oh, Frisk...I’m sorry I can’t-” You paused as you watched their hands carefully.

**I told Sans we would find you.  I didn’t think you would be in Snowdin though.  Are you okay?  I’m sure if I talk to Flowey he will understand that what he was doing was wrong-**

You didn’t have time to question it as Sans gently tapped Frisk on the shoulder, “Hey, Tori would like to speak with you.” Frisk frowned and looked pleadingly up at Sans.  Sans chuckled before handing them his phone, “I got an earful, now it’s your turn.” Frisk only pouted for a moment before they climbed off of your lap and took a few steps away to speak with Toriel on the phone.  Their pout turn to guilt and you could faintly hear Toriel’s concerned voice on the other end.

“Here, let’s get you back on your feet.” Sans didn’t wait for you to grab his hand as he grabbed your upper arm to pull you to your feet.  As soon as you were upright you stumbled with a sharp yelp.  Sans caught you promptly and looked down to see you were wearing literal rags around your feet.  He let out a frustrated sigh, “Where’s your shoes?”

You didn’t have any, at least not here.  When you left Toriel’s you were still in the clothing from the other night.  You didn’t even slip on your shoes before you decided to hop through a magical door to who knows where.  You realize it was dumb, and you didn’t mind Sans’ subtly reminding you of that.  Before you could respond Sans leaned forward before literally sweeping you off your feet.  You let out a startled noise as Sans balanced his weight to carry you.

“Let’s get you inside and I’ll take a look.”  Sans paused for a moment and you could feel his grip squeeze you, “Did he hurt you?”

“Gaster?” You said the first thing that popped into your head.

“No.  Flowey.  Did  _ he _ hurt you?” You could see the lights fade from Sans’ eyes as you shook your head.

“Maybe I’ll have a bruise, but I’m fine.  He scared me more than anything.”  You looked over Sans’ shoulder and watched Frisk as they continued to hold the phone to their ear.  You looked back to Sans who only smiled.

“It’s another soul thing.  It’s kinda hard to explain.” Sans took a few steps before turning to call after Frisk.  “Come on kiddo, let’s get out of the cold.  Tell Tori we’ll be home soon.”

“No!  I can’t go home yet!” You nearly shouted as you struggled in his arms.

“Whoa! Whoa!  Careful!  What’s this about not wanting to go home?” Sans balanced himself as you settled down.  When you were still Sans began to move once again.

“I need to go to the CORE.  It’s the only clue I have from Gaster.  Please, Sans, I need answers.”  You didn’t look at Sans when you spoke.  You took a deep breath before speaking once again, “I know you may not trust me, but please…”

You sat quietly in Sans’ arms as he carried you silently.  You closed your eyes and focused on your breathing as you tried to find any other point to reason with Sans.  You know you were probably the last person he would trust right now.  You did it to yourself, and you deserved any resistance he would give you on the subject.

“Alright,” Sans replied.  You continued to sit quietly in his arms as he carried you through the snow.  Sans looked back over his shoulder to make sure Frisk was following before speaking again.  “While you were gone everyone came to discuss everything that’s going on.”

“Everyone?” You watched as Sans nodded.

“Yeah.  I’ll explain in a bit.”  Sans paused as he stood in front of the small home that you had stayed into sleep.  “Anyone else been through here?”  You shook your head and he didn’t press it further.

You entered the home once again and Sans set you down close to the kitchen.  Frisk closed the home’s door behind them and approached Sans holding the phone.  Sans nodded as he took the phone and held it up to the side of his head as he began to speak with Toriel again.

“Yeah, tell everyone I found her.”  Sans paused as he walked into the kitchen.  You could hear cupboards opening and closing as well as Sans shifting through the drawers.  “I’ll bring everyone home soon.  There’s something I need to check on while I’m down here.  Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on them.”  Sans paused as you heard him set something on the counter.  “Yeah, sorry Tori, we’ll be home soon.” 

Frisk sat on your right and leaned against your side.  They laid their head against you before wrapping their arms around themselves.  You could feel them shiver and gently nudged them.  They looked up at you and you smiled as you unzipped the oversized jacket  you had found upstairs.

“It’s a bit big for just me.  You’re welcomed to share it with me, it will be warmer at least.” Frisk quickly nodded as they helped you unzip the jacket before wrapping it around their shoulder.  They snuggled against you and laugh quietly before Sans walked back into the room.  You caught the familiar scent of a tea and you couldn’t help as you curled up your lip.

“You know it will help.” Sans couldn’t help but laugh as he handed you the warm cup before taking a seat next to you against the wall.  He waited patiently as you took a sip.  “It will be easier if you just get it over with.”  You stuck your tongue out at the thought but took a deep breath before downing the rest of it.  You coughed as you choked on the last of it.  Sans chuckled once again as he took the cup from your hand to set it on the floor beside him.

“I hope the owner of this place doesn’t get upset we’re using their things...or that I took these…” You shrugged your shoulder and kicked your good foot indicating your makeshift winter clothing.

Sans leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes as a smile widened across his face.  “They’ll be  _ frigid _ with us.”

You nudged him with your elbow and sighed.  You couldn’t help but smile as you felt Frisk laugh quietly beside you.

“No, really, they’re real  _ cold _ -hearted people.” Sans couldn’t help but laugh at his own joke now.

You couldn’t help but laugh as you let out a frustrated sigh, “You’re on thin ice mist-ugh!  You got me doing it too now!”  Sans couldn’t help but howl with laughter.  He held his sides and you joined in shortly after. 

The three of you laughed until your sides hurt.  You wiped the tears from your eyes and continued to chuckle to yourself.  You held your hand over your mouth to try and stifle your laughter, but you knew it was no use.  You felt yourself smile, truly smile, for the first time in what you felt like was forever.  You finally moved your hand away from your mouth to set it in your lap.  You jumped as you felt Sans’ cool hand catch your hand before lacing his fingers with yours.

“Want to have that talk now?” Sans stared down at your hand in his as he spoke quietly.

You turned to see Frisk yawn as they got comfortable beside you.  You nodded as you looked down towards your hand and squeezed his fingers in yours.  “Yeah...we need to talk…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we're off to the CORE!
> 
> I know a few were worried about if I'd have Sans and Reader miss each other, but I honestly never planned for that to happen. If anything I was planning for them meeting up later but decided it would just be easier to have Sans and Frisk meet up earlier with the Reader. We're finally here. Next chapter has the start of what I've been wanting to write for a while. I need to hammer out the last bit of details to make sure I don't leave any holes for later. 
> 
> As always guys, thanks for reading, I may have slowed a bit on the updates but I'm not going to abandon it. That promise I know I can keep.
> 
> Shameless Tumblr plug for updates / questions ect~  
> http://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	33. The Promise

You told Sans everything.  

Well, not exactly everything.

You told him when you believed Gaster began to speak to you.  How scary it was that you had become so comfortable with him around, how completely alone you felt last night when he separated from your soul.  You told him how trapped you felt when you questioned your own sanity over it all.  How easily it was to believe every word he spoke to you because it felt so familiar to you.  

You explained the night Sans found you at the library and how that was the first time Gaster had taken control of your body.  You explained how foreign it felt to watch and hear yourself speak and move as you watched idly inside yourself.  You told him how happy you were when Gaster stepped in to help you against the jerk in the park.

You told him how scared you were of the magic that was inside you.  You found relief in the fact that Sans still had his memories and you still had your own.  They weren’t harmed, but you told him how relieved you felt when the memories shattered around you.

You told him how tired you were since you’ve begun having the nightmares.  You told him how Gaster also suggested they may not even be dreams.It felt good to finally talk to him about everything that had been going on.  You were afraid to talk about them, and you didn’t want to admit that you were beginning to grow numb watching your friends die every time you closed your eyes.

Frisk slept quietly in the borrowed jacket on the floor beside you.  The house was still cold, but it wasn’t as bad sharing the blanket you had used last night to sleep in.  Sans held the blanket closed with one hand while his right firmly gripped your left hand.  He didn’t interrupt you, he sat quietly listening, gently squeezing your hand as you stumbled forward through the difficult parts.  At some point, you had leaned against Sans.  You had forgotten how nice it felt to be close to him.

“Thank you for listening.” You spoke softly as you gently traced your thumb over his.

You didn’t expect a response but his silence had only begun to add to the uneasy, tight feeling gripping your chest.

Sans only stared down at your hands.  His fingers intertwined in yours.  In that moment, he realized just how small your hand was.  It was thin and delicate, and at the same time, it was strong.

Everyone had their burdens, had their own paths to walk.  No one lived a carefree easy life, no one had lived without some hardship.  Sans had been working his entire life to make it what it was.  Papyrus had kept him grounded, Frisk gave him hope and the future that everyone had wanted.  His family of two grew, and he had come to see the night sky for himself.

Sans swallowed a dry breath as he gently squeezed your hand once again.

“It’s funny, being back here.” Sans shrugged as he finally lifted his gaze to glance around at the empty living room in front of him.  He stole a quick glance at you as you glanced at him.  He held your gaze for a moment before he looked away, staring at the blank wall in front of him.  “For a long time, this was our home.  Moving into this house was one of the best things I could have ever done for Papyrus.” Sans hesitated for a moment before he once again stared back down at his and your hand.  “For us…”

“Papyrus and I have always been there for each other.  We didn’t even need to ask each other for help, it was just second nature.  We were all we had.” There was a long silence between his thoughts as collected his words.  “Ever since I was small I’ve heard stories about the surface, about how endless the skies were, how vast the oceans are, and how clean and refreshing the fresh air is.”  Sans couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle, “Maybe not all of that was true, but we’ve come to appreciate the little things that most of you humans have taken for granted.”  Sans paused again as he lifted your hand up and entwined your fingers from his.  He turned and gently pressed his palm to yours and gently guided your fingers to spread outward.  “What do you think of Snowdin?”

You felt taken aback by his sudden question.  You really hadn’t taken the time to really look around Snowdin since you’ve arrived.  All you could recall was how cold it’s been and how dark and empty the town felt.  You looked up towards the front window and took a moment to actually take it in.

There were a few homes across from this one, and beyond those homes were trees.  There were many, full, pine trees dusted with snow sitting quietly, only swaying lightly in the cold breeze.  You understood quickly that the twilight outside was a magical artificial light and you wondered how Sans or anyone could get used to it.  You closed your eyes for a moment and just listened to the silence.  The chilling wind and the sound of rushing water from behind the small home were the only other thing you could hear besides the creaks in the wood as the wind blew against the home.

It wasn’t terrible...and maybe you would even consider it charming if the homes were warmly lit.  Your smile was all Sans needed before his fingers laced with yours again.

“When you get used to seeing something one way for so long, it loses it’s meaning to you after a while.  You grow numb to it and you only start to think of what you don’t have, and not what you do have.”  Sans faced the window and focused on something off in the distance.  “Living here doesn’t compare to the surface.  Our community was small, and everyone was a bit more open with each other.”  He paused once again and you could feel him gently guide your hand closer to him.  He turned and lightly pressed the tops of your fingers against his chin.  You could feel the warmth of his magic and you couldn’t help feeling your cheeks flush as you buried your face in his shoulder.  “You do things your own way.  I get that you’ve been on your own for a long time, but that’s not the case any longer.  You’re a part of our family now.  You don’t need to do everything alone anymore.”

You nuzzled your cheek into Sans’ shoulder and nodded.  You knew he was right, and it warmed your heart.  You would have smiled, but a small, growing, part of you felt guilty.

This family wasn’t complete…

You didn’t know how to approach the subject to Sans about Gaster.  Gaster certainly didn’t help with his recent actions either.  You weren’t trying to hide the fact that Gaster was Sans and Papyrus’ older brother.  How could you explain to Sans that the monster that had caused all this trouble was also a part of his family?  How could you explain someone who was forgotten?

You were pulled out of your thoughts as Sans turned and was guiding you to sit up.  He was watching you, waiting for a response.

“Sorry...I just...have a lot on my mind.  I’ve not had a lot of time just to think for myself in a while…”  You would tell Sans about Gaster, but you needed to figure out how to approach the issue first.  You did have a lot on your mind.  You had a lot of questions, and most of all, your heart ached.  You pulled your hand away from Sans and clutched at the blanket over your chest.  “What are we going to do?  Sharing our souls, does that still mean something?”

Sans didn’t answer right away, but he stood up and turned to face you.  He glanced over to Frisk who was still sleeping soundly in the warmth of the jacket before he held his hand up to the center of his chest.  He took a deep breath and pulled his hand away slowly.  The room was soon bathed in the light of Sans’ soul as he held it out in front of him.  He stared at it for a moment before kneeling down in front of you.

You gasped as you saw the purple marks left by what you believe was your magic.  You pressed your hand over your mouth to keep silent as you began to choke back the tears now forming at the corner of your eye.

Sans shook his head as he reached out and gently wrapped his fingers around your wrist.  “Here, just focus on my soul.”

You shook your head and pulled away as you stared at the marks, “I’ll only hurt you...I can’t...I can’t control my magic if it-”

Sans gripped your wrist tighter as he carefully forced your hand to face palm up.  He transferred his soul to linger in the space just above your open palm.  “You won't hurt me.”

“How do you know that?” Your hand shook as you tried to keep it still under Sans’ soul.  You took a shallow breath before speaking again, “I...I don’t think I can handle seeing your memories right now Sans...not yet at least.”

“No memories, just trust me.”  Sans paused as he gently cupped your hand and close your hand around his soul.  

The light of his soul pulsed at your touch and you couldn’t help but flinch slightly at the sudden warmth of his magic tingling the palm of your hand.  Sans loosened his grip on your hand as he took a slow breath.  You were expecting to black out again, wake up and be surrounded by his memories, but like he said, there was none.  The cold that you felt was all but gone now.  It was like a warm, gentle, heat was pulsing through you.

Just as you relaxed you gently rubbed your thumb over the surface of his soul.  It was like liquid, but it wasn’t.  It was smooth as silk and you remembered this feeling from something else.  You heard Sans take a quick breath of air and glanced up to see a light shade of blue darkening his cheeks.  The corner of his mouth twitched as he let out a quiet chuckle.

“It’s a strange feeling, you doing that I mean…” Sans didn’t try to stop you, but it was written clearly on his face that he was a bit embarrassed.

“I-I’m sorry!” You couldn’t help but blurt out as you felt the tops of your ears begin to burn.

Sans couldn’t help but laugh and you soon felt a new feeling wash over you.  You felt your heart flutter as your breath weaken.  You felt uneasy and you looked up for reassurance from Sans as he squeezed your hand.  It grounded you as you realized what was going on.

_These are his raw emotions…_

You felt his fear…

...his hesitation…

...most of all, you felt the warmth from before.

You couldn’t tell if that exact feeling was love, but it was comforting, and you watched as the light from his soul fade as you felt the uneasy feeling wash over you again.

“It’s not the clear answer you’ve been wanting from me, but for now this is all I’ve got.” Sans tugged on your wrist lightly in which you released his soul.  You watched as it returned to his core and Sans took a deep breath.  “I know you don’t see it, but I admired how strong you had to be up until now.  Despite all you’ve been through, you don’t have a mean bone in your body.” Sans couldn’t help but laugh as you broke a smile.  “When we first met, I wasn’t sure if you’d help me.  I was tired, probably a little rough around the edges, but you took the time to help me out.  I can’t tell you how relieved I was to see that you were also the one who had placed the ad for roommates.  That day was also the first time I saw how brilliant your soul could shine.”

“The first time?” You asked before you could stop yourself.

Sans nodded as he held out his hand and you felt the familiar pull at your core.  You didn’t resist as you saw your soul appear before you.  The light from your soul pulsed, and you felt shy suddenly.

“Yeah, the moment you lost yourself in your pad of paper it was like the dark cloud around you cleared away.  It wasn’t the last time I saw it either.  The night at the part, the first time we were there.  When I didn’t leave you alone I saw the spark of hope light up within you.  I think that was the moment you began to trust me, to trust us.”  Sans carefully held your soul in his hands.  He watched as the intensity of its color brightened.  

Sans couldn’t help but chuckle as he finally wrapped his fingers around your soul.  The sudden touch felt odd.  You felt safe.  His grip was strong but caring.  Sans was careful as he spoke once again.  

“When you first saw your soul, I couldn’t help but tease you.” As he spoke he gently caressed the surface with his thumb, mimicking the motion you made earlier.  You couldn’t help but let out a gasp as you clasped your hand to your mouth.  It did feel weird, there weren't any words you could think of to describe it.  You chewed on your lower lip as you watched as your soul pulsed.  

“Sorry...couldn’t help myself.” Sans only grinned as he laughed.  “I remember how at any moment you looked like you would break, but still, your soul felt so warm in my hands.  You finally let me in.  You finally trusted me enough to share an extremely personal memory.  The way you smiled…” Sans paused as he fondly remembered how bright your soul had been at that moment.

Sans would have continued if it wasn’t for a rustling sound and a pair of small mischievous eyes peeked out through spread fingers.  You turned your head just in time to see Frisk giggling at the two of you.  In just a moment the room was lit by the twilight as your soul returned to your core.

“Someone’s gotten their energy back it seems.” Sans couldn’t help but grin as he left your side to take a few steps towards Frisk who had pulled the jacket up above them.  The jacket fidgeted at their poor attempt to hide.  Sans knelt down in front of them before suddenly grabbing around where the child’s middle would be and began to tickle them.  “What have I told you about eavesdropping, hmm?”

Frisk’s small head popped out of the top of jacket laughing as they rolled around within the jacket, unable to escape.  Watching the two your embarrassment left you as you let yourself softly laugh.  Sans finished tickling Frisk and allowed them to stand back up as he turned to approach you.  He held out his hand and smiled.

“Looks like we should get going if you’re ready.” Sans’ voice was soft and you didn’t hesitate as you took his hand.  He pulled you to your feet and helped you keep your balance as you tested the weight on your foot.  “How does it feel?”

“It’s a little stiff, but there’s no pain.  I don’t think I’ll ever get used to your food…” You smiled as Frisk shed the jacket from them as they ran up too tightly grasp yours’ and Sans’ wrist.  Once they had the two of your attentions they pulled their hands away and signed a quick word.

**Shortcut!**

Sans chuckled as he looked up towards you.  “Kid here wants to take one of my shortcuts there.  You feeling up to that?”

That was another thing you didn’t share.  You weren’t sure until that moment, but it really did seem that you were able to understand Frisk.  You weren’t sure how that came to be.  If Gaster was still within you, you may have thought it was his doing, but no, this was you.  Something had changed within you.

“Uh...yeah...will it be safe?” You stumbled over your words as you glanced back up to Sans.  You met a slightly annoyed expression as Frisk took off towards the kitchen.  They turned and signed something quickly before taking off out of sight.  You sighed.  “I...I was just caught off guard.  Frisk...right now just said they were grabbing something?”

Sans glanced towards the kitchen then back at you and shrugged, “Yeah.  Is there something you need to say before they come back?  I don’t think you’ll have long.”

You glanced back at the door and sighed, “That’s the thing...I understood them, Sans.  They said they said to give them a moment to grab something.”

“You’ve been around for awhile, you’re probably just picking up a few things here and there.” Sans shrugged as the smile returned to his face.  “That’s not something to worry about.”

“No. Sans.  I understood them.  Completely.”  You glanced back towards the door as Frisk reappeared.  In their hand, they held what looked an ice cream.

Sans paused for a moment as he thought about what you said and looked at the small package in Frisk’s hands. “Heh, thought you and Paps ate all of them before we left for the surface.”

Frisk couldn’t help but smile.

**I always kept a secret stash.**

“I always kept a secret stash…” You mumbled quietly to yourself.  Frisk’s eyes became as big as saucers as they excitedly ran over to you and wrapped their arms around your waist.  They pulled away quickly and it didn’t take long for them to try to speak to you once again.

**You can understand me, Auntie?**

You blushed at the nickname and glanced back at Sans.  “Y-yeah...but...Auntie?”

**Well, you and my Uncle Sans are dating!  That makes you my Auntie!**

Sans laughed as he gently grabbed ahold of Frisk’s shoulder and pulled them back to lean against him.  “That doesn’t make her your Auntie yet.”

“Yet?” You couldn’t help but squeak.  You caught the familiar shade of blue light up under Sans’ eyes as he lightly laughed it off.  

“Slip of the tongue….”  He cleared his throat before he spoke again.  “You have magic now...it’s not too far-fetched to believe you’re becoming a bit more attuned to your soul.  Like I said earlier when Frisk was talking to Toriel over the phone, it’s a souls thing.  There’s just a mutual understanding.  It’s a bit complicated and I can explain it later.”

You nodded as you looked down at Frisk who was beaming a wide smile up at you.  “Alright.” You spoke softly as you felt Sans’ arm gently wrap around your waist.  Frisk wrapped their arms around your middle tightly and you couldn’t help but feel the tops of your ears heat up again.

“I gotcha.  We’re not going far.” Sans smiled as he held out his other hand and the familiar process in which the world split in two began.  

You closed your eyes and reached into your pocket.  You gripped the black crystal tightly as you felt yourself sink and the dead silence filled your head once again.

**~ * ~**

The first thing you could clearly hear was an electronic sound, almost like a computer sending data.  The light was blinding, and you slowly opened your eye to the bright colors that were a world of a difference from Snowdin.  You felt the ground below you warm your cold feet and it wasn’t long before you realized just how warm it was.

When you could focus, Sans had already turned to help you out of his jacket.  He pulled it over himself and shrugged, “The heat doesn’t bother me either.”

“Is this?” You stammered as you turned and glanced around as you looked at everything in awe.

“The CORE?  Yeah.  Alphys comes by every few months to check up on it.  For those who still live down here, this provides all of Underground the convenience to live comfortably.  The place is located in the middle of a magma pocket, so if it gets too warm for either of you, we’ll head out.  We can always come back another day.”

You could only nod your head.  As stubborn as you wanted to be about finding Gaster’s lab, you needed to remain reasonable.  You turned  towards what looked like an elevator in front of you.  A large dark panel sat idle, unused, on the wall. You wondered for a moment what could have been written on it at one time.  You saw Frisk take off towards the right and wave to you and Sans as they turned to run through the dark corridor.

“Frisk!  Wait for us!” You called after them as you took a step.  You felt Sans suddenly grip your elbow and you couldn’t help but stumble.  You caught yourself and turned as Sans righted himself.  You could see a bead of sweat running down his temple which startled you.  “Sans?  Sans are you alright?”

Sans nodded and the corner of his mouth twitched.  “Yeah, just…”  Sans stopped to take a deep breath.

“You’ve...you’re still exhausted...aren’t you?” You asked quietly as you grabbed his forearm to help keep him balanced.

“I’ll be fine.  I’ll rest when we get back to Tori’s.  Until then I can handle walking around this place.  Let’s just hope we find what we’re looking for.”  Sans finally steadied himself properly and released you.  He took another slow breath before offering you a smile.  “Did he leave you any clues?”

_The code for my room is the same…_

“Yes...but I don’t know where it’s at.  There should be a panel somewhere in here to access his workspace.  I just don’t know where the panel is.  Gaster told me I’d understand when I see it.” You sighed as you felt lost already.  “I’m sorry...I’m not very helpful…”

“Don’t worry about it.  If he would have given you better instructions we wouldn’t have this problem.  We can come back if we don’t find it.” Sans took a few steps before catching your hand in his.  “Come on, Frisk will leave us behind if we don’t hurry.”

You couldn’t help but smile and nod.  “Alright...but may I ask you something?”  Sans paused as he waited for your question.  You took a deep breath and closed your eyes, “Why do you do so much for me?”

You felt Sans gently pull on your hand as you stumbled a few steps forward into his arms.  It didn’t surprise you as you opened your eyes and turned to look at Sans.  He offered you a smile as his arms firmly wrapped around your neck.  “I chose to never give up on my friends.  I’m not going to give up on you either.”

**~ * ~**

You gently squeezed Sans’ hand as you followed him after Frisk.  You realized just how hard Sans had been working to try to get you to open up to him.  Never once did you think he or anyone would have put that much effort for you.  It made you feel guilty.  He shouldn’t have had to put up with half of your stubbornness.  You didn’t realize it then, but you now realized just how hard you pushed people away.  You don’t remember when you, but for the longest time you thought the world had given up on you.  As you felt how warm Sans’ hand was in yours, your realized you were the one that had turned your back on them.  You felt determined to make it up to them, to Sans for everything they had given you.  

You traveled the dimly lit hallways.  The fluorescent tubes on the walls cascaded an assortment of colors as you searched the walls for a panel.  Each empty room you went through you felt more discouraged.  Your feet had begun to ache as you felt the three of you had combed through the entire facility.

You had kept yourself close to the wall as most walkways were suspended high above what could have very well been the middle of the magma pocket.  You were amazed at how something like this could have been built here.  This place, the CORE, was what gave power to everyone underground.  

As you came to the end of a hallway and spied what looked like an elevator you sighed.  You had not found the panel Gaster mentioned in any of the previous rooms and hallways.  You had begun to even wonder if his room even existed anymore.  You heard Sans let out a frustrated sigh as he walked over to where Frisk patiently waited in front of the door.  He took their hand before turning to face you.

“All that’s up there is the way to New Home.  We’ve searched every room and couldn’t find the panel you said Gaster mentioned.  He probably just wanted to mess with you one last time.”  Sans held his other hand out to you, waiting for you to take his hand.

“It’s not much more...please.  I don’t believe he was trying to trick me.  Can we just look through here?”  You pushed yourself off the wall and took his hand into yours.

Sans smiled as he shrugged his shoulders.  “There’s nothing up here.  This place hasn’t been used since Mettaton used it as a stage.”

“A stage?” You were slightly taken aback but Frisk nodded furiously and began to pull Sans down the hall.

You couldn’t help but smile.  At this moment you envied just how much energy Frisk still seemed to have.  You called out to them in front of you to wait up as you followed after them.

The stage was dark, and there was no clear indication of any panels that could be the one Gaster had mentioned.  The first thing you did notice, however, was how much cooler this room was from the rest.

You quickly caught up to Sans and Frisk as they passed through the stage and continued onto the hallway in front of them.

“It’s not as hot here…” You said idly as you stopped at the beginning of the long hallway.  You could spy at the end of the hall an elevator which you believed must take you out of the CORE.

“Yeah, we’re just below the New Home.  The room that was used as a stage was built into the rock.  New Home and the Asgore’s palace should be warmer than Snowdin, but we’re not heading there today.” Sans held out his hand once again, “I know we didn’t find what you were looking for.  We can come back later and search, but I don’t think we’re going to find it.”

You felt your shoulder sag as you turned back towards the hall you entered from.  On the wall to your left was a poster advertising a show from Mettaton.  You stood there for a moment to collect your thoughts, trying to think of any place you may have overlooked the panel.  You didn’t want to believe Gaster’s final words to you were a lie.

“____?” Sans spoke softly.

You turned towards him and paused.  A sudden light blinked out of the corner of your eye and you once again turned back towards the hallway.  “One second…”  You spoke softly as you searched around from where the light had come from.  

“Think of something?” Sans asked as you heard him take a few footsteps towards you.

“No...wasn’t that-” There was the flash again, and this time you saw where it had come from.  “There!” You said suddenly, startling Sans as you moved towards the poster.

You grabbed the paper from the wall and tore it away.  Behind it was a small panel, indented into the wall that resembled the fluorescent tubes on the wall.  They offered little light, but it was clear that there was something more to them.  You felt your spirits rise as you gently placed your fingertips on one of the tubes.

“I think we found it!” You said excitedly as you gently tested the pressure.

The orange one lit up moments after your press and a red light blinked followed by an audible flat buzzer.  Frisk walked up to your side and stood on their tiptoes to reach another button.  They pressed the green one.  There was no buzzing sound and a green light blinked once to recognize the input.

“A puzzle?” Sans asked as he took his place behind Frisk.  Frisk didn’t hesitate as they pressed the yellow tube which was met with the same buzzer sound and red flashing light.

_...The code for the room…_

“Oh!” You had to think back to the panel.  There was an order to this.

_The colors had something to do with the traits...what was the one Frisk pressed again?_

You hesitated as you saw the green tube.

“Kindness…” You mumbled to yourself as you pressed it.  The light flashed green accepting your input and you hesitated over.

“What was that?” Sans asked as he watched as your fingers traced over the darker blue tube.

“Integrity…”

Sans watched as the panel once again flashed a green light.  The words you mumbled, however, struck a cord within him.

“The souls...that means the next one is-” Sans spoke to himself as you mumbled the next one beside him.

“...patience.”

“Patience…”

You glanced over at Sans as he raised his hand towards the panel.  Your fingertips bumped into each other as the two of you lightly pressed the orange tube.

“Bravery…”

You hesitated as you glanced over at Sans.

“You know it?” You felt your stomach turn at the thought of what each of these panels represented.

Sans stood quietly as his hand stopped over the violet colored tube.  He nodded, and you could see the lights of his eyes faded away as he spoke evenly to you.

“Yeah...There’s not a monster in the Underground that works for Asgore that doesn’t know what this means…” Sans didn’t wait for you as he pressed the violet button.

_Perseverance…_

You pulled your hand away as the light on the panel flashed green again.  The only one that was left was the yellow tube.

Frisk didn’t hesitate as they reached towards the panel and pressed the final color.

_Justice…_

The panel dinged as the green light stayed on for a few seconds longer.  A moment later you felt the hallway rumble below your feet and you instantly found your hand tightly gripping Sans’ shoulder.  To your right came a loud sound of metal scraping against metal.  You turned your head away from the screeching and it wasn’t long before an elevator rose from the darkness.

You stood there as the door creaked open.  You loosened your grip on Sans’ shoulder and the two of you shared a glance before speaking.

“Doesn’t sound safe…” You thought allowed as you stared at the interior of the elevator.  It didn’t look damaged.  It was obvious from the state of it that this hadn’t been taken care of in decades.

“Yeah...don’t know if we can trust it.” Sans agreed.

You needed to go, though.  This was the only path to what you believed was Gaster’s room.

“I have to go..he said there would be answers.” You let out a breath that you had held in to collect yourself as you took the first step towards the elevator.  You stopped when you felt a tiny hand grab onto the tail of your shirt.  You turned to see Frisk, who offered you a smile as they reached back and tightly gripped Sans’ hand.

“Not going to let you two out of my sight.” Sans gave you a nervous glance.

The three of you carefully boarded the elevator.  The dust tickled the back of your throat as you cleared your throat and gently rubbed your nose as you looked for the elevator’s panel.  There were only two buttons, up, and down.  Since there was no track to head up, the only option was to press the button for down.

The elevator jerked and you felt Sans tightly trip your upper arm.  You could see the reflection of his magic against the metal interior as he prepared himself for a sudden escape if needed.  You leaned against the wall of the elevator as he shook on its way down.  The light above you blinked and the sound of metal scraping against metal echoed loudly inside the metal box.  

You didn’t open your eyes until the elevator stopped and you heard the doors creak open.  You felt a rush of warm air rush into the elevator before you heard Frisk’s light footsteps echo in front.  When you finally opened your eyes you could see before you was a long corridor with a door at the end of the hall.  It was dark, most of the lights had gone out.  There had been no maintenance on this section of the CORE and it was surprising anything was function in the first place.  Faded light filtered through the right side of the corridor where you could see what looked like another door lined with windows.  You quickly followed after Frisk as Sans kept to your right.

“This place wasn’t marked on the blueprints at all…” Sans mumbled to himself as he looked around the corridor.  Frisk wasn’t too far ahead and they stopped as the sound of glass breaking at their feet caused them to pause.  Frisk took a step back as they looked up at the window on the right.

As you reached the middle of the corridor with Frisk you stopped to look through the broken window.  You felt your heart skip a beat as you let out a soft gasp.  The room below you was brightly lit and it was clear that the source of the heat was coming from the room in front of you.  The same magma within the CORE lined the back of the room that almost looked like a central stage.  

“What happened here…” Sans spoke first of the scene below them.

In front of the stage, there was rubble everywhere.  The floor was cracked in some places, and directly in the middle was a machine you recognized all too well.  The machine Gaster used on the violet soul sat in the middle of the room.  The tubes, wires, gears and other unrecognizable parts lay scattered on the floor.  Metal plates that protected the exterior shell of what looked like a skull were all that remained.

You took a step back away from the window before continuing down the hall.  You stopped as Sans’ hand caught your elbow.  You froze in place as he released you.  The sound of glass cracking below his feet was the only sound you heard as he walked to your side and gently placed his hand on your lower back.

“You okay?” His question was simple, and as much as you wanted to tell him you were, you knew you couldn’t lie.

“That machine...I saw what it did to a soul.  It’s terrible...I...I don’t want to think about it…” Your hand found his jacket pocket as you gripped the fabric.  “I just...want to continue forward.”

Sans nodded as he turned and called Frisk to follow.  The three of you continued silently down the hallway until you reached the metal door.  There was a panel on the right that you recognized from above and you began to key in the same code.

The door shuddered as it had trouble sliding open.  It stopped halfway before stopping, no longer capable of moving on its own.  Sans held out his hand and his blue magic illuminated the door as he forced it the rest of the way open.  The panel on the right sparked and he shrugged.

“Hope we won't be needing that again.” Sans shrugged as he was the first to take a step into the room.

As you followed him into the room you were surprised.

“Just like the memory…” You spoke softly as you turned to look at the wall behind you.  The monitor on the wall that listed the details of the machine and souls had a giant crack through the middle.  The monitor wasn’t the only thing that was broken.  The desk had been moved, along with old papers scattered around the room.

You felt the hair on your arm slowly stand on end as you felt goosebumps rise and fall suddenly.  This room was cooler than the rest, but it was slowly becoming warmer as the door behind you was forever stuck open.

“Why was this room cooler than the rest of the CORE?” You asked allowed to no one in particular.

Sans squatted to the floor as he began to collect some of the papers.  He shuffled through them before standing back up.  He walked towards the desk and flipped through more of the papers scattered there.

“It was probably to keep the papers from becoming damaged.  This room has a lot of documents.  The damn things are all written in that strange language so who knows what it says.  We won't ever find out now…” Sans spoke as he set the desk chair upright and took a seat.  “Was this the room you were looking for?”

You nodded, even though Sans couldn’t see you.  “Yeah...there’s a journal here.  It said it would have the answers I seek.”  You stood next to Sans as you reached for the drawer.  It was jammed and Sans reached over to help.  The drawer sprung open and the contents within spilled over the floor.  “Thanks.” You said softly as you took a seat next to Sans on the floor.

Frisk had been keeping themselves busy looking through another pile of books and papers while Sans kept to the desk.  It wasn’t long before Frisk sprung back to their feet and ran over to you holding a small old book in their hands in front of them.

“Did you find it?” You smiled as you took the book from Frisk and placed it in your lap.  You opened the book as you heard the chair Sans was sitting in creaked as he turned to see what you were looking at.

A few small pieces of paper fell from the book and scattered between you and Frisk.  Frisk collected them quickly and looked through them as you watched them.

“What are those Frisk?” You asked softly as you glanced back down at the book.  The same symbols were written here, and you sighed as you flipped through a few pages.  Frisk stood up slowly and handed the papers over to Sans.

“Hmm?” Sans hummed as he took the small pieces from Frisk and glanced at them.  “What are-”

The sudden stop is what caused you to glance up at Sans.  His hands shook as he flipped through the small pieces of paper.  “Sans?” You asked quietly as you carefully closed the book

“Where did you find these?” Sans asked flatly.  The lights in his eyes were small, focused, and you could sense a bit of agitation from him.

“Sans?” you asked again.  Frisk pointed at the book in your hands and Sans glanced down at it.  You cleared your throat as you tucked the book under your arm and carefully stood up.  You glanced over his shoulder and finally realized what he was looking at.

“Pictures?” You spoke softly as you set the journal in his lap.  It didn’t take you long to see why Sans was upset.

The picture on top was a picture of the woman you recognized as their Mother.  He forced open the journal and flipped through the pages roughly.  A few pages tore as he violently flipped through to the next.

“Why the hell does he have these pictures?  What the-” He froze once again as another picture bookmarked a page that was written in a clear language that you could read.  You read a few words as Sans held the page open.

_Throughout my research, I have concluded that all living things possess magic.  This magic is found in every Human, Plant, Animal, and Monster I have come to study.  Each varies from subject to subject with no exact quantity recordable._

_This magic is the being’s life essence.  In short, when the source of the subject’s magic is extinguished, the subject ceases to exist.  In other terms, this is the subject’s SOUL._

“What is this…” You asked quietly as you carefully took the photo in the journal from Sans.  He dropped the photos into his lap as he closed the journal.

You stared down at a young Gaster sleeping against a headboard.  On his right, an extremely small child laid sprawled out in a onesie PJ set with one of Gaster’s small hands resting on their stomach.  On his left, you saw an older child, curled up against Gaster with a hand outstretched as they held the sleeping baby’s hand in his.  Gaster’s other hand rested on their side.

This was what you needed to show him.  You took a deep breath as Sans reached for the photo in your hand.  You pulled it away and made sure to look him in the eyes.

“What is that?” Sans narrowed his eyes on the photo as the corners of his mouth twitched.  You could see the magic begin to spin in his left eye and you swallowed the spit in your mouth to wet the back of your throat.

“Sans...I didn’t know how to tell you before...but after seeing these photos...I need to tell you something about Gaster.” You jumped as Sans slammed the journal onto the desk and took to his feet.  He turned to you as he ripped the photo out of your hand.  He looked at the photo and stopped.  The lights of his eyes vanished as he stared down at the photo now in his hands.

“This doesn’t make sense…” Sans spoke softly as he stared at the photo.  “How...how is this possible?”

“Sans…” You spoke quietly as you placed your hand on his shoulder as he flipped over the photo to read aloud what was written on the back.

_don’t forget._

“Gaster...he’s a part of your family...he’s...your brother…” Sans only stood their silently as he flipped the photo over once again.

“I wasn’t trying to hide this...I just didn’t know how to tell you...Sans...talks to me, please.” You squeezed his shoulder and he pulled away from you.

“I need a few minutes to think…” Sans placed the photo back down on the desk as he turned to walk out of the room.  

You stood there as Frisk placed their hand in yours.  You looked down at Frisk and offered a sad smile as you kneeled down beside them.

“He’ll be okay.  There’s just a lot to think about right now.”  You needed to reassure Frisk as they nodded.  You stood back up and opened the journal once again to the page you were reading before.  You skimmed a few passages and began to read again.

_From the few human subjects, I have had the chance to study.  None of them have shown to have a strong connection with their SOUL.  The human’s bodies are stronger than  those of Monsters.  This I have found to only be a half truth.  Like a Monster, when a Human’s soul has been deleted, they will die.  Their bodies, which are made of up of many common elements among many smaller traces of other elements.  A monster’s body is a manifestation of our SOUL.  Every monster is unique--_

You skimmed a few of the paragraphs to see if there was anything that may pertain to you.  You flipped to the next page as you skimmed through information about the human subjects.  You stopped as you came to Subject 5.  You knew it as the violet soul.

_Subject 5’s SOUL is extremely resilient.  It studies its surrounding diligently and notices necessary changes to reach their goal.  The tests that I have set up have proved to be useful.  Subject 5 uses information learned in prior tests to continue to reach each new goal set for them._

There were a few dates corresponding with the results of the tests.  One of the last ones caught your attention.

_When presented with the same scenario multiple times, Subject 5 attempts to mimic their actions to recreate previous results.  Subject 5 still notices differences but attempts to revert the changes._

“Revert the changes?  What does that mean?” You asked quietly as you felt Frisk tug lightly on your shirt.  You closed the book and turned to them as they held up a familiar parchment.

You recognized it as you took it carefully from their hand and placed it on the ground.  “Can you help me hold this open?” You asked as Frisk nodded.  You held the corner as Frisk unrolled the parchment

You finally understood what this schematic was for.  The room you had passed earlier was in the same shape as the diagram before you.  There were six spots on each side of the room indicated with a marking.  S1-S6.  

“Subjects maybe?” You mumbled as you noted a faint indicator of colors in thin colored pencil marks along the top of the pedestals.  

It made sense.  You felt another knot in your stomach as you noticed the machine in the center.  You hated it, you hated the memory, and you couldn’t understand how Gaster could willingly subject the souls to it.

You were ready to leave.  You’d take this schematic and the journal with you to read.  You could always come back with Sans later when the two of you were ready.  You let the parchment go as it rolled up loosely.  Frisk collected it and you climbed to your feet.  You grabbed the journal and approached the door.

“Let’s get Sans and head home.  Toriel must be worried sick about us.” You smiled as Frisk nodded and followed.  They walked ahead of you as you followed them back down the hallway.  Sans was nowhere in sight.  The elevator had not left and you had begun to worry if he had opened a shortcut.

You don’t know if you were happy when you saw Sans out of the corner of your eye in the room below.  Sans stood next to the horrible machine as he seemed to be inspecting it.  

“Stay here Frisk.” You said quietly as you approached the door that led down into the room.

**I want to come with.**

Frisk signed as they tried to take a step passed you **.**

“Please, Frisk.  That room doesn’t look safe.  I know you can look after yourself, but please.  Let me keep a peace of mind knowing you are safe up here.  I’m just going to get Sans and come right back.  I promise.” You waited as Frisk nodded.  You could see their lower lipstick out in a pout as they folded their arms over their chest and walked away from you.  You smiled as turned back towards the door, “Thank you, Frisk.  I’ll be right back.”

The stairs were in terrible shape.  You felt your foot slip a few times and had nearly dropped the journal on the way down.  You regretted not giving it to Frisk, but it was too late now.  You took a deep breath at the bottom of the stairs as you watched Sans approach the stage area.  You felt a strange sensation you couldn’t completely describe.  You felt a tingling sensation course through your body.  You could hear a soft hum in your ears and you began to wonder if the heat was overwhelming you.

Sans turned to you as he glanced around the room one more time.  You took a deep breath as you felt a bead of sweat trickle down the side of your face.  This room was almost unbearably hot.  You could hear the magma from just beyond Sans.  It gurgled and bubbled that echoed with the low groan of the CORE.

“This much be where it happened…” Sans said quietly as he looked passed you before turning his gaze to the floor.  

You turned to see what he had looked at and gasped.  There were black scorch marks that lined the wall, and there were clear outlines of where people had been standing.

“Oh my god…” You whispered softly as you dropped the journal at your feet.

You heard Sans jump off the stage behind you as he walked to your side.  He picked up the journal and flipped through the pages.

“If this was his journal, there has to be something in here about this-” Sans flipped to the back of the journal and hesitated as he read aloud.

“Soul Infusion…” Sans spoke quietly as he looked back again at the machine in the middle.

_I have selected the prime location for this experiment to take place.  The CORE is at the center of Earth’s greatest power source as well as the well for the origination of magic.  The two mix together so brilliantly and the closer one gets to this concoction one can feel the very magic within them hum through their SOUL.  This is the location where the life essence of all living creatures returns as well as begins.  The SOULs we have collected thus far react in our favor.  The life that they have left is bolstered, rejuvenating them even while contained in their case.  This is the pinnacle of my research._

That would explain why you felt strange.  You gripped your shirt’s collar as Sans looked up from the journal to you.

“You feel that as well?” Sans only nodded as he glanced back down to the journal and continued to read.

_If everything goes as planned, I will not absorb the SOULs of the six fallen children.  I will combine to create one new soul to break the barrier.  I will become a true amalgamation of Monster and Human.  I will not just be a Monster who absorbs their souls.  After today, I, W.D. Gaster will cease to be.  What I will become I do not have a name for it, but it will be my life’s work and I will see to it that everyone will be free at last._

You read the text and recalled the memory of Gaster deteriorating.  You remembered how painful it felt and you couldn’t hold back the tears that fell from your cheeks.

“Why?  Why go to this extent?  Why would he willing throw away his life…” You gasped as you turned your back to the wall.  In the middle of the stage was a ring from where something had sat long ago but wasn’t here now.

“It didn’t work...I mean...Asgore still had the human souls.  I don’t know what this all means, but something terrible happened here.  It has to be the reason we can’t remember him…” Sans closed the book and threw it to the floor below him.  “DAMN IT!”

You jumped as you watched the journal slam against the ground.  It’s binding split and several pages scattered across the floor.  You leaned down and started to collect the pages.  “I want to go home, Sans...I don’t want to be here any longer…”

Sans stood quietly as he held his hand over his mouth.  After Sans collected his thoughts he nodded, “Yeah...me too.  Where’s Frisk?”

“They’re upstairs...I told them to wait for us.  They have to be getting impatient.” You glanced away from the wall and knelt to the ground to collect the scattered papers and journal.  You let out a soft sigh and you heard a faint sound come from the stairwell.

“We were just about to head up kiddo.” Sans’ voice had sounded warm again.  There wasn’t a need to worry Frisk about this.  You would have time to talk with the others later after you and Sans rested a bit.

The journal and all of its contents were gathered in together quickly and you pushed yourself to your feet.  You felt a shiver down your spine as you looked up from the journal.  It was odd.  Something felt off.  You couldn’t put your finger on what exactly gave you a chill.  You rolled your shoulder and stretched your neck as you turned around to follow after Sans.

Frisk stood on the bottom step, their head held low as Sans approached them slowly.  You noticed right away their left fist was squeezed tightly into a ball.  The thought crossed your mind that they must have been upset with the two of you for taking so long.  On the other hand, being in this room was disorientating, maybe it was a bit harder on Frisk.

“Frisk, head back up, we’ll be right behind you.” You called out to Frisk.  Sans glanced back at you and smiled.  He seemed to be in better spirits for now at least.  You’d rather head home to sleep in your own bed, but going to Toriel’s wasn’t that unappealing.  Sleeping in a soft, clean, bed just sounded wonderful.  

You started to make your way back towards the two of them when you noticed a small reflection of light.  You didn’t see where it was at first until you saw the reflection again.  Frisk was holding something small in their right hand that you didn’t notice earlier.  It didn’t take long for you to realize that they were holding a large piece of glass from the broken windows up top.

“Frisk!  Put that down!” You may have sounded harsh, but they should know better than to pick up glass with their bare hands.

Frisk, however, didn’t listen.  In an instant, they darted forward and raised the shard of glass high above their head as if they were going to strike Sans.

Sans didn’t hesitate.

In an instant, Frisk’s soul hovered in front of their body as the crimson red swiftly changed to blue.  Frisk’s small body was thrown to the side and they hit the ground with a roll.

“FRISK!” You dropped the journal as you ran towards and grabbed his arm.  It surprised you at how sturdy Sans was when you couldn’t budge him at all.  “Sans!  What are you doing?  They’re just a child!  What’s gotten into you!”

Sans finally looked at you and your breath caught in your chest.  Sans’ expression was grim, his right pupil was dark and his left was a mixture of yellow and light blue magic.  His left hand illuminated the same blue that had become of Frisk’s soul.

“ **G e t b a c k.** ”

You released Sans quickly as you took a step away.

“Sans...what’s going on...what’s wrong?” As the fear built up within you felt the familiar warmth of your magic wrap itself around your arm.  “No...no no no not now!” You glanced down at your hand to see the familiar violet magic tendril around your arm as your hand began to shake.

Sans rose his left hand out in front of him as he moved his hand through the air.  Before him, the world split into two and a low growl escaped the crack as an animalistic skull emerged from it.  Its eyes glowed brightly white as it opened its mouth.  In a moment the same intensity of light began to shine from its mouth as he opened it’s jaw slowly.

“Sans stop this!” Your feet carried you forward before you could think.  You had placed yourself between the creature and Frisk as you held your hand out in front of you.

_Please...just protect me…_

“Get out of the way!” Sans called out to you angrily as the creature shot a beam of magic from its jaw.

You held your ground as you closed your eyes, praying that your magic would know what to do.

You felt the familiar pull from your chest and your violet soul changed to the same blue as you felt yourself get thrown across the room.  You coughed as you pushed yourself up to sit.  You wiped the dust out of your eye as you looked back up towards Sans.  The grim expression was gone, but an expression filled with worry had replaced it.

“What were you thinking?” Sans called after you as his magic released your soul.  “You could have been killed!”

He was right, he could have killed you.  You couldn’t rely on your magic that you knew nothing about to protect you.  You weren’t thinking.  You weren’t thinking of your own well being, but Frisk…

“Frisk…” You looked up to where the blast had been fired.  Frisk was back on their feet tightly gripping the shard of glass as a trickle of blood dripped from its tip.

“What are you doing?  Why are you attacking Frisk?” You turned back to Sans who had returned to watching Frisk in front of him.

_ņ҉o҉̨t̨ ̀F̶̷͡ŕ͢i̸͟͝sk.͟.̶҉.҉͜_

The static had returned as you felt the sharp splitting headache return.  Your vision went white as you held your head in your hand.

_.̧͏.͏̷͏҉̢.̴̧͢͜s̴̷҉̡e͘͡p͏́ą̴̕͡r̡͟͝a̴̸͞͞͠t̸͘͢e͏̨̢͜_

You wanted it to stop.  Every word spoke felt like needles pricking you repeatedly.  

_I don’t understand what you want…_

You opened your good eye to glance back up towards Sans.  Frisk had taken another swing at Sans, but Sans had dodged to the side before sending Frisk flying once again.

_.̡.̨̨͘.̵̢̕̕y̵̷̶̸̕ớ̴̀͠u̴̧̡͜ ̶̷̢͞͝k̴͜ǹ̷̶͞҉o̵͘͝w̛͘͜͝ ̴̡̛h̷̷͝͞҉o̧͟w͝͡ ̵҉̀ţh́͠i̧͡ş̴͡͞͏ ̵͏͜͏ȩ̴̡̕͡n̷̛d̴̡̛͏͞s̨͡҉̶͢.͘͜.̷̨͜.̡͜͟_

The words screamed, echoed, whispered, and spoke softly all at the same time through the static.  You could catch a word every no and then, but you still couldn’t understand what it was wanting you to do.

_Please...Gaster...if that’s you...please...help me.  I don’t know what’s going on…_

_ņ҉o҉̨t̨ ̀F̶̷͡ŕ͢i̸͟͝sk.͟.̶҉.҉͜_

You finally got a good look at Frisk.  You felt your blood run cold  as you caught sight of the glowing red eyes and creepy inhuman smile.

_No..._

.̶̷̕.͡͏̵͢h͏͝ę́ ͢͡w̷̸í̵̷̷ĺ̶͜l҉̴̷̕ ̶͘͠͝͡d̵̡͟͟͢i̶͠ę̷̧̨͡.̛͠.̷͜.̸̛͢͜

_Die?_

Sans dodged another one of the child’s attacks and cut another hole in the world before him.  The two of them had moved around the room and now stood on opposite sides of the stage.  Another skull emerged from the crack as it readied another beam of magic at the child.  As Sans turned to follow the child he stopped.  His legs didn’t want to move and he fell to his knees.  It was clear that he was breathing heavy and that you could see the pools of sweat beading on his skull.

_...you’re still exhausted…_

“No...he can’t do this!”  You screamed at yourself as you felt helpless.

.̷̶.̴҉͏͏̸.̷̨͢h̵̡̢͜e̷̛̕͟l̀p̸̧̀ ̢͡h̴̴̀i̷͝͠m̀͘͞.͞.̵́.̴̷̵͜

_How?  I can’t do anything…_

_.̧͏.͏̷͏҉̢.̴̧͢͜s̴̷҉̡e͘͡p͏́ą̴̕͡r̡͟͝a̴̸͞͞͠t̸͘͢e͏̨̢͜_

_What do you mean?_

_ņ҉o҉̨t̨ ̀F̶̷͡ŕ͢i̸͟͝sk.͟.̶҉.҉͜_

You wanted to believe it wasn’t Frisk.  You didn’t want to think the small child that was beloved by you and all of your friends could hurt anyone.

_How?  How do I fix this?_

_.̴̢̢͘.̧͡͝.́̕͜͠l̸͢͠͞í̴̷͘ķ͘͘e͟͝ ̛͢b͏̕̕͝҉e͢͜͠҉͞f̴̵̵͞͠o͜r͜͠é̸̢͘͝.̵̡.̷͘҉͏̵.̢҉̢̨͠_

_Before?_

_.̧͏.͏̷͏҉̢.̴̧͢͜s̴̷҉̡e͘͡p͏́ą̴̕͡r̡͟͝a̴̸͞͞͠t̸͘͢e͏̨̢͜_

You tried to understand.

“Before...separated like before...before what?” The voice was silent as you racked your mind trying to understand what the voice was getting at.  You looked around, trying to find anything that may help.  You leaned back and reached into your pocket and you flinched.  

_The crystal…Gaster!_

You pushed yourself to your feet despite a nauseating headache and took a step forward.  Sans could no longer stand as he held out his hand in front of him.  The child was frozen in place but the smile never left their face.  The blue was fading from their soul and it wouldn’t be long before Sans could hold them.

“I can’t lose him...I can’t let him die.” You took a few forced steps towards Sans before slipping.  At your feet, you saw the scattered papers of the journal once again.

_Subject 5 attempts to mimic their actions to recreate previous results._

“Mimic their actions...I can try…” You didn’t have time to think of anything else.  “Hold out my hand?  Wish for this to stop?  I don’t know how to fix this…”

The sound of Sans collapsing to the ground brought you out of your thoughts as you focused on what was before you.  The child had already begun to approach Sans.  You had to act now.  Pushing through the pain, you forced yourself into a run as you ran to Sans’ side.  You fell to your knees.  Sans rolled over onto his side and you felt relieved as his eyes returned to the white.

“You need to get out of here…” Sans said weakly as he slowly pushed himself off the ground.

“You can’t do this Sans...you’re exhausted.” You whispered as you pushed yourself to your feet.  “I’ll fix this…”

“Don’t go near them!  That isn’t Frisk! That’s...that’s-”

“I know…” You interrupted him.  You turned and offered him a gentle smile, “I can’t lose you, Sans...I can’t let it happen…”

You heard the soft footsteps of the child behind you as they sprinted towards the two of you.  You didn’t expect them to to be this fast.  You flinched as you raised your arm to block the smiling child waiting for what you assumed the glass shard to rip into you but didn’t.  You opened your eyes to see them froze in front of you.  The Red soul once again colored partially blue.

“GO!” Sans called out weakly behind you.  “I can’t let you become another nightmare!”

“I won’t…” You spoke softly as you reached out to grab the child’s soul in front of you.

You felt a pulse course through you as your magic entwined itself around child’s soul.  It was suffocating, and it felt like something was gripping at your very own core.  It was like a vice, it hurt, you couldn’t breathe, and you couldn’t stop it.  

A soundless scream escaped you as you pulled your hand away.  Your magic continued to tendril around the blue soul.  The red of the soul pulled at the center as something began to emerge from the center.

It was working, or at least you hoped it was.  You only needed to hold on for a bit longer.

**_I w o n ’ t l e t y o u s t o p m e._ **

This voice was new.  It echoed a,d all you could hear after that was the familiar cackling laughter.

You flinched.

In that moment another crimson soul separated from Frisk’s soul.  The magic that had entwined itself with it was being drawn in.

_.͏̵̢̀͢.̡͘.̕͏f̨́҉a̸̵̡͝͝l҉͢l̸̢͝.͏̶̴́.̸̨.̸̢͘͟͞_

You cried out in pain as you stumbled a few steps away from Frisk and Sans.  Sans dropped Frisk to the ground as he tried to force himself to his feet.  Sans called out to you but your head was flooded with the laughter and the splitting pain.

_.͏̵̢̀͢.̡͘.̕͏f̨́҉a̸̵̡͝͝l҉͢l̸̢͝.͏̶̴́.̸̨.̸̢͘͟͞_

_I don’t understand!_

_.͏̵̢̀͢.̡͘.̕͏f̨́҉a̸̵̡͝͝l҉͢l̸̢͝.͏̶̴́.̸̨.̸̢͘͟͞_

You just wanted it to stop.  You continue to back away.  This soul was fighting against you, It was taking everything you had just to not be swallowed whole.

.͏̵̢̀͢.̡͘.̕͏f̨́҉a̸̵̡͝͝l҉͢l̸̢͝.͏̶̴́.̸̨.̸̢͘͟͞

You felt your foot slip as it teetered on an edge.  You turned around and to your horror, you saw the source of the CORE’s energy behind you.  You gasped for air as you took a step forwards away from the ledge.

_.̧͘͠.͞͏̵̧̀.̷̢s͏̵͢ḩ̶͟͞a̡̢̨͞t̕͏̶t̸̡̧͜e̷r̸͘҉.̸̢.̢͘͜.̶̵̨͟͢_

The voice wanted you to fall…  Sans’ voice echoed as he stumbled to reach for you.  You looked up to him with panic as you noticed Frisk stir from behind him.  

 **_I t ’ s u s e l e s s.  Y o u c a n ’ t w i n_ **.

This wasn’t a matter of winning.  You wanted to protect them.  You didn’t want the nightmares to become reality.  

“I’m sorry…” You whispered hoarsely as you glanced back at Sans.

_.̢͢.͜͡.̸̀s̷͝͞ṕ̵͜a͜҉͝c͠͏é̛͝͞ ̨̢͏҉̀b̶͝è̢͞ţ́w̴̨̡͜҉e̴̛̕͟͝ȩ́́n̶͏͞͠ ͏́́̕͢t̢̡͠͝í̛͟͠m̨͝ę̨̛͟͟.͞.̷̷͝͡.̵̀҉̨_

You remembered the final memory.  You remember Gaster falling, shattering in the darkness that swallowed him whole.  

“I’m sorry…” You whispered again as you took a step back towards the ledge.

“What are you doing?” Sans called after you as he fell to his knees again.  “Stop!”

“I’ll fix this…I promise...”

You took a deep breath and took the step back.

The light was bright, and soon you were swallowed in darkness.  You finally let go as the world around you disappeared.  
**_  
W H A T H A V E Y O U D O N E !_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10k words...
> 
> I finally made it. The turning point. The first idea I had for Patchwork that I never thought would take this long to get to. I've been super excited and been working on this nonstop between everything else I've been doing this week.
> 
> I ache, I'm exhausted, and gosh I'm nervous. I know only terrible things happen to Reader but please, just trust me...this is by far a good thing. Reader isn't dead, but given the hints I gave within the chapter, you can guess where we'll end up next chapter. As for Sans? Well, you guys will see when I update again.
> 
> I could have split this chapter into two parts, but I just wanted to get it done. If I split it I felt like it would have been another two chapters. I tried for a bit of fluff this chapter, which took up the first half of this chapter. I have a lot of ideas for the future and I hope you'll continue to stick around and see where this goes.
> 
> As always, thank you lovelies for reading. You guys brighten my day
> 
> Shamless tumblr link for questions/updates and just me: http://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	34. Not Quite Right

_ No… _

Sans stumbled on his feet as he felt his entire core shudder.  His vision was blurred but he could still see you.  He saw what you were doing.

Sans tried to call out, begged for you to understand.

“What are you doing?!” He fell to the floor and forced himself to sit up with the little energy he had left.

_ This place...this damn fucking place! _

The demon from his nightmares was real.  He had always known it was real.  He knew what could happen to him.  In his sleep, he had relieved the pain that hate filled strike had caused him.  His body ached, his very core threatened to crumble around him anticipating when he could no longer be able to fight.

He knew that he couldn’t win.

He knew it was hopeless.

The only thing he wanted to prevent was your death.  If he was to wake up tomorrow, and this was all just another bad dream.  As long as you wasn’t a new victim to the demon, he could continue to wear the smile he had practiced for so long.

If Sans could truly save anyone, he had hoped it would have been you.

_ B u t y o u r e f u s e d . . . _

Before collapsing to the ground, Sans called out your name, begged you not to go.

“...I promise…”

That was the last thing he heard from you.  As Sans’ vision spun, he saw your sad smile, your resolve, and then…

...there was nothing…

**~ * ~**

Sans woke with a start as he bellowed out in the darkness of the room.  His magic flared up and it cracked around him as another familiar voice let out a startled yell.

“Sans!  Sans, it’s okay!”

Sans felt someone grab his shoulders and he felt himself violently shake.  His eyes darted from every which way as he struggled to focus.

“Sans?  Can you hear me?” 

There came the voice again.  It was familiar, and Sans could hear the worry in their voice.

“Please...wake up.”

Sans took a deep breath as he screwed his eyes shut.  He focused on the firm hands that gripped his shoulders and grounded himself.  When he opened his eyes again he was met with a worried frown from Papyrus.

He felt a pang of guilt as his eye lights lit up.

The corner’s of Papyrus’ mouth turned up into a relieved smile as he pulled Sans into a hug.  He let a heavy sigh as he positioned himself on the edge of the bed.

“I am glad you are finally awake brother…” Papyrus said quietly.  Sans nodded into his brother’s shoulder as he let himself settle down.

There was a silence between the two of them as Papyrus pulled away from Sans.  He looked down at his brother and it was clear that he had something on his mind.  Papyrus stood up but kept a firm grip on Sans’ shoulder.

“If you would like for me to remain at home today I am sure Undyne will understand.  It is important to me that you are alright.” Papyrus smiled as he finally released Sans’ shoulder and clasped his own hands together.

When Papyrus was unsettled, he had that habit, and Sans hated seeing him like this.

“No, it’s alright.  If you had plans with Undyne don’t let me stop you.  It was just a terrible dream-” Sans paused as he recalled everything.  The lights in his faded again as his words hitched.   “Where’s the kid and ____?”

Papyrus stood inches from him, staring down at Sans.  His hands had stopped fidgeting as his head tilted to the side.  “I don’t understand?”

“Pap?” Sans was taken aback.  Papyrus wouldn’t lie to him.  Papyrus wasn’t one to hide anything either.  Sans through the covers off of his legs as he turned to crawl out of bed.

He froze.

Sans felt sick as he caught himself before he fell backward into his own bed.  Papyrus rushed to Sans side and placed his hands on Sans’ shoulder once more.

“Sans?  Do I need to call a doctor?” The worry in Papryus’ voice was clear as the words warbled.

Sans didn’t answer, he couldn’t answer.  He forced himself to stumble forward out of bed.  Papyrus jumped back as Sans scrambled to his bedroom window and forced it open.  

The cold wind cut through him like a knife.

Sans stood there, silently as he stared out at the snowy landscape.  The distant gray walls and ceiling loomed before him.  The sounds of children playing and adults talking amongst themselves were clear enough for Sans to understand what was going.

“Sans?” Papyrus hesitated as he approached Sans.  He held his hand out inches away from Sans shoulder.  He was afraid to touch Sans.  Afraid that he could-

“Papyrus...I’m going to stay in today…” The life from Sans’ voice left him as he closed the window.  His hand fell limply to the sides as he processed what was going on.

“Sans?” Papyrus spoke again, his hands had clasped together and he fidgeted with his gloves.  

“I’ll be okay Papyrus...I’m just  _ bone _ -tired.  You don’t need to stay home with me today.  I’m just going to go back to sleep.” Sans didn’t hear Papyrus’ usual complaint about his puns.  Sans’ room was silent.  Sans didn’t want his brother to worry.  He needed to think, some time alone to process everything.  He turned and reached out to Papyrus.  He jumped at Sans’ touch and looked down as his face twisted with worry and concern.  “I’ll be alright.  That nightmare just took a lot out of me.  I’ll be here when you come back.  Don’t let me get in your way…” Sans paused, “ _...of joining the Royal Guard… _ ”

Papyrus watched as Sans returned to his bed and pulled the covers over his head.  He wanted to be there for Sans, let him know that everything would be okay.  He stood there silently for a moment and waiting until he heard Sans softly breathing from underneath the sheet.  As quietly as he could, Papyrus crossed the threshold of the doorway to Sans’ room.  He stood in the hall tightly gripping the doorknob as he paused there in the door frame.  He watched as the covers rose and fell with each breath and he cast his head down.

Papyrus took a slow breath as he closed the door behind him.

**~ * ~**

You felt weightless.  

The world around you had vanished and you felt like you were falling endlessly.  Your senses were dulled and you couldn’t even tell if you had opened your eyes or not.  All you could see, could feel, was the darkness swallowing you whole.

Your head spun, and the silence screamed loudly in your ears.  

How did you get here?

Where was here?

What is happening?

You wanted to scream, but your voice wouldn’t come.  You felt your entire self being consumed.

**_W h a t d i d Y O U d o ! ?_ **

The voice was sudden and ear shattering.  You couldn’t move as you felt a set of small hands tightly grip your neck.  

**_T h i s i s Y O U R f a u l t !_ **

You could finally see.

Hovering over you within the darkness the terrifying red eyes and crooked smile stared down at you.  You still couldn’t find your voice.  You gasped for air as you grabbed their arm.  It wouldn’t budge as you twisted and pulled.

You weren’t strong enough.

How could you fix anything?

You let go of their arm as you dropped it back to your side.

When did you ever have the power to change anything?

**_I w i l l m a k e Y O U p a y !_ **

You felt the familiar tingle of magic around you before a white concentrated beam shot just above your head.  The thing that had you in their grasp let go of you moments before dodging to the side.  They backed away quickly as a flare of black and red circled around them.  A moment later you saw the elongated jaw of the skull Sans had summoned earlier over over you.  It passed over you and growled as another skull appeared at its side, placing themselves between you and the thing in front of you.

“You will do no such thing.  This is  **my** domain.   **You** have no power here.”

The skulls before you opened their mouths wide just as another concentrated beam shot forth towards the shadowed entity.  It disappeared into the darkness around it and echoed a laugh that came from everywhere and nowhere all at once.

**_I will not be held here .  I MADE MY C H O I C E LONG AGO!_ **

Their laugh continued before silence overcame you once again.

Your eyes were heavy as they closed.  The white skulls blurred as they turned to look passed you.  You felt your body move.  The familiar feeling of wet silk pressed against you as you felt a familiar hum.

You wanted to open your eyes, you wanted to see who the voice belonged to.  

You couldn’t.

You felt empty and at some point, you gave into the silence.

**~ * ~**

You sat there in the arms of someone strange, yet familiar.  They held you upright and cradled your head.  They did not speak but you could feel the hum of their very being beneath you.  You forced yourself to open your eyes.  Your head lay still against the stranger as your eyes focused on what was in front of you.

It was like movies.  Thousands of silent movies in grayscale all playing at once. You tried to focus, understand what was going on but the body holding you stirred.

“I see you are finally awake.”  There was a pause in their voice.  “How are you feeling?”

You went to open your mouth, but as soon as you did your head buzzed and crackled with the grainy sound of static.  You reached up and grabbed your head, feeling suddenly dizzy as the stranger allowed you to sit with your knees tucked under you.  They steadied you as you swayed.  The world spun and you took a deep breath to let your head settle.

“You will become accustomed to this place when you are ready.  You will find your voice and your strength again.” 

There a brief pause as you saw the black and white pictures in front of you shift and new ones brought forward.  You jerked forward as you recognized a figure in one of the glass frames before you.

_ Papyrus… _

He stood in an unfamiliar kitchen.  He looked small.  His shoulders were slouched, and he wrung his hands watching the water run in the sink.  The usual smile that lit his face was gone as he furrowed his brows and wore a frown.

You reached out to touch the glass before your head became clouded and your consciousness faded once again.

When you next opened your eyes you laid facing the mirrored frames.  Papyrus was gone and a new array of figures you didn’t recognize went about daily life in front of you.  You no longer sensed the stranger and you felt a bit of energy return to you as you forced yourself to sit up once again.  You heard a rattling noise to your left and turned to be greeted by none other than by a towering skull.

You jerked away from it, stumbling as you tried to stand.  The monster watched you, tilting itself sideways before circling around to your right.  You turned to find it, not wanting it to remain at your blind side as you rolled over.  You felt your heart pumping in your chest as you turned your back to the mirrored frames only to feel it skip a beat as you noticed the hundreds of white lights and skulls floating off in the distance, watching you.

To your left, you caught sight of the one again.  It approached you cautiously and you curled in on yourself.  You held your breath, begging to yourself for it to leave you be, but it didn’t.  To your surprise, you felt what you believe the tip of his nose nudge you.  When you didn’t respond, he nudged you again before you felt it’s warm breath.

You shuddered, letting out a soft whimper as you felt a slight pinch as it grabbed the loose fabric of your top and tug on it.  You finally looked up at it as it froze, staring at you through the lights of its eyes.It’s eyes locked onto something behind you.

“They are curious.  There is no need to be afraid of them.  They do not attack without being issued a command.”

You jumped at the sudden voice, but you turned to look at them.  You felt your lips move, and as you tried to utter a sound the painful static welled up inside of you again.

“Do not force yourself.”

_.̰͙̻̳̭͙̊.̛̫͙̻͙᷆ͬ.̶͙͇͙̍᷄ͬĜ̯͙̳͙̓̈́a͙̗̖͙͓͛͞s̲͙̗̟͙̣̃t̯͙͙᷾̈́̾͞e͙̜͙͎̊̒͆ŗ͙̻͙ͯͫ͢.̶͙̟͙̔͌͝.̷͙͙̤́͂̆͋ͩ.̸͙̭͙̎ͅ͏ _

He wore a sad smile as he knelt down beside you.  You reached out your hand as you pressed it against the side of his face.  He did not look away, and you could see the guilt clearly written on his face.

“You should not have come here…” Gaster spoke quietly as he removed your hand from the side of his face.  He guided your hand to your lap before brushing the stray hairs away from your eyes.  “You do not belong here.”

_ Where is here? _

Your thoughts were silent, and it was a relief when you saw the corner’s of Gaster’s mouth curl upwards.

“It is as we first met.” Gaster slowly rose to his feet as he offered you his hand.  You took his hand in yours and he effortlessly pulled you to your feet.  “I see that your strength is returning.  This is excellent progress.”

_ Where is here? _

You asked again and Gaster’s smile disappeared.  He looked around as the skull that approached you earlier floated to his side.  He held out his hand as it nuzzled against his palm.  A low rumble escaped it as it clicked his jaw open and shut.

“Do you not recognize it?” He spoke slowly as he turned his hand and lightly rubbed the palm of his hand against the smooth bone that could be considered it’s nose.

You looked around once again.  The endless darkness, the thousand of eyes and the framed mirrors reminded you of one place.

_ Between the shortcuts?  How did I get here?  What is this? _

Gaster nodded.  The skull retreated as it disappeared behind the frames.

“This is the space between time.  What you see before you are the threads of time.”  Gaster paused as he turned towards the frames and held out his hand.  The rows shifted until a single mirrored frame stood out in front of the rest.  “Do you remember what happened before you came here?”

You watched the frame.  At first, you didn’t recognize what you were seeing.  It took someone you recognized walking into the frame to finally realize what you were looking at.

_.͈͈͈͈͂̿̚.͈͈͈᷂͈̑᷉.̸͈͈͈̙͈͘t͈̤͈̭͈̬͈h͈͈͈̞͈ͯ̆è͈͓͈͈̳͈͈ͦ l̷̨͈͈͈͈̉ā͈͈̺͈͈͟b͈͈͈͔͈́́.̸͈͈͈̠͈̌.͈͈̖͈̤͈̓.͈͈̱͈͈ͩ̚ _

You clasped your hand over your mouth again as Gaster nodded.  He took a step forward and held out his hand to you once again.  You didn’t hesitate as he firmly grasped it and had you approach the frame.

You watched as Sans placed in the room before approaching the remains of the terrible machine from before.  Gaster raised his other to place it on the mirror, but it did not touch a solid surface.  It was like water as Gaster slowly merged with the frame and soon you found your hand merging with it.  You held your breath as Gaster pulled you through. 

You felt cold as you came to a stop shortly behind Gaster.  He turned to you and rested his hand on your upper back.  You looked up at him before looking around, taking in the scene before you.

You jumped as you heard a loud crash.  You followed the sound to see Sans had kicked a piece of rubble below the machine.

You let go of Gaster’s hand as you hurried forward towards Sans.  He was flustered, and you didn’t notice at first but as you stood next to him, you noticed something was off.  You could see Sans standing in front of you, but he lacked color.  You took another look around and noticed right away that it wasn’t only Sans, everything lacked color.

_ What’s going on? _

“We do not belong in this thread, we are only spectators in a series of events.” Gaster had approached you and now stood at your side.  His hand reached out to rest on Sans’ shoulder, but it did not connect.  Sans moved and Gaster’s hand fazed through him similar to the same way you could not interact with Gaster’s memories.

_ Why is there no color? _

Gaster was silent as he took your hand and guided you away from Sans.  You turned to look over your shoulder.  You jerked your hand away from Gaster as you stared back at Sans.

_ Wait...there is color… _

Gaster turned to view what you were referring to.  Sans stood with his back to you, and in the middle of his back, you saw a deep, blue light resonating from him.

“Color represents life in the threads and at a distance even we can recognize it.” Gaster paused as his attention turned to the stairs.

Sans had turned back to the machine in the middle of the room and you recognized what was to come soon.  You gasped as you took a few steps backward only to bump into Gaster.  He rested his hands on your shoulder and side as he watched you.

_ Where is it?  What happened to it?  What about Sans? _

“You brought it here.  It is trapped, just as we are.  It can no longer alter the threads of time.” Gaster spoke quietly.

_ Sans is safe then? _

Gaster was silent but he gently squeezed your shoulder.

_ Did...is he… _

“I do not know.  This thread...something does not make sense.”  Gaster spoke softly as you entered the room.  From where you stood, you could not hear what you and Sans were talking about.  You knew you and Sans were reading the journal, and you couldn’t help but feel strange.

It’s so surreal.  I mean...watching me...I...we...they can’t see us?

“They cannot.  We are only spectators watching a turn of events.” Gaster looked back to the stairs and you watched as Frisk descended the steps.  This time, you could see the black cloud that encased the child.  A separate entity floated at its side as it surrounded the black cloud.

_ How could this happen?  How did that thing get ahold of Frisk? _

“When Frisk came to our world, their soul took residence, alike myself, in their soul.  Frisk has been battling the demon within them for a long time.” Gaster guided you forward as you approached Frisk.

_ Like you? _

“Frisk had grown stronger on their journey.  The demon could no longer regain control over Frisk.  However, it’s likely that they regained control due to being close to the pinnacle-”

_ The pinnacle? _

You didn’t mean to interrupt Gaster, but you felt your heart ache as you watched Sans and Frisk’s body begin to fight.

“You read it in my journal, no?  This place is connected to the origination of magic.  As you were in this room, I am sure you could feel its effects.” Gaster was right.  You did feel strange, but you didn’t understand it then.  With your nod in agreeance, Gaster continued.  “The soul Frisk had been fighting used the excess energies in regaining control over Frisk.  You saw the result of this…”

You watched as you saw yourself sit idly watching from the platform.  You knew at any moment you would intervene.

“This was not the first time that it had won its control over Frisk...remember those ‘dreams’?”

You felt your heart race as you saw Sans collapse.  You could see the light from his soul fading and you desperately looked back at yourself.  You sat frozen, crying.  Why weren’t you getting up?

The child approached Sans.

This...no...this isn’t what happened…

You watched as the child rose the shard of glass high above their head before plunging it downwards.

_ S̘̪̻̜᷿̤̮͇᷊᷄͊̇̈́ͬͧͫ̍͛ͦͭ͊͟͞A̢̧̖͔͔̫᷊̰ͤ̊̏͆̇᷀ͭ̕͢͢͜͞ͅ͏̸̧̪̅̒̓᷾̑̒N̝͍̣͖ͫ̑͠Ș̡̨̞̫͔̺̟̩̻̌͆᷆̓̈́!̵̵̸̨̥̻̻̹᷂̖̬͌̄̓̽̾᷇̓᷀̌͘̚͜ _

You cried out despite the pain.  You felt Gaster tightly wrap his arms around you as he tried to calm you.

“Open your eyes!  What else is different!” Gaster’s words were demanding as he fought against your thrashing body.

_ N̛͇̲͍᷄̀ͫ̔᷾̀̀ͮ̀͂͘Ò̴̡᷊͙͂͛͋̀̍ͪ̀̀ͮ̕!̶͖̭̀̽̇̾̀ͨ̀̚͏̠͊̀̆ͦ̀̈́ _

Gaster finally released you as you fell to the floor.  You cried as you pressed your palm to your mouth as you felt your stomach twist and turn.

_ This...this wasn’t what happened- _

“What happened?”

You didn’t understand.  You didn’t move.  Why didn’t you help him?  Why did you just let this happen?  You thought you saved Sans.  If you didn’t, how did you come here?  You didn’t understand.

You didn’t have time to process it as you felt Gaster lift you off the ground.  His arms held you tightly and it wasn’t long before you felt the cold sensation rush through your body once again as you left the thread.  You expected Gaster to put you down, but he did not.  He only held you tighter and the familiar sensation of went silk enveloped you.

**_P a t h e t i c . . ._ **

You felt your breath hitch in your throat as you heard their voice echo.  You pushed away from Gaster only to see you had become surrounded by multiple skulls.  Their eyes narrowed towards the thread you just left and sitting upon it was them.

**_To think that you trapped me here. . ._ **

_ W̡᷿᷄h̻̑᷈a͎͉̽t͉͏̃ d̹̬᷾ͭ͂o̺̬ͨ y̸͒͏ő̮͋uͮ᷁͢ w᷂͙̖a̵ͬ͘n̸͎᷆t̝ͨͣ!̧̂̓ _

The words left your mouth as another surge of pain struck from within you.  Gaster carefully set you down before held out his hand to steady the skulls.

“If you only came to make petty remarks you’ll find yourself unwelcome,” Gaster spoke callously.

The demon only laughed as it dropped behind the frame.  You tried to follow it’s laughter as it echoed around you.  You froze as you felt a small hand rest on your shoulder.  You turned your head and let out a startled yelp as you saw the demon inches in front of your face.

Gaster whirled around and you saw his magic wrap around his hand.  The demon was flung from behind you and pinned to the ground several feet away.

The black shadow dissipated and in its place you were surprised to see a child.  Their eyes and mouth were empty as it twisted and thrashed in anger on the floor.  The skulls floating to your side noticed where it had gone and you could feel the familiar hum of magic well up around you.

“Do  **not** touch her!” Gaster’s words echoed around you.  The base in his voice sent vibrations through you as the skulls began to open their mouth wide.

The child only laughed again as it seemed to melt into the floor below.

**_What you saw?  That was what I was going to do until Y O U interrupted me._ **

_ Why?  Why do this? _

You wiped your cheek and forced yourself to stand.  You felt your body shaking as you felt a variety of emotions twist inside of you.

Pain…

Sadness…

Anger…

One was not stronger than the other.  They melded together to fuel you, give you the strength to stand to finally have your question answered.

_ What possible reason could you have to do this? _

The violent nightmares where you saw your friends fall one by one.  You couldn’t understand how anyone, let alone a child, could do this.

The laugh echoed once again and this time you felt a presence towards the thread once again.  They stood inches from you the black cloud of magic encased them once more.  Their crooked smile twisted unnaturally upwards

**_H e d e s e r v e d i t . . ._ **

They disappeared moments before you raised your open fist.  Never before had you ever struck anyone out of anger but their response tipped you over the edge.

_ N᷿̥᷿̥᷿᷿ͩȍ᷿᷿᷿̯᷿ͣ ȍ᷿͔᷿᷿̱᷿ń᷿͕᷿᷿᷿͜e᷿᷿̮᷿̩᷿͡ d᷿᷿᷿̲᷿̐̿e᷿᷿᷿᷿᷿ͪ̄s᷿᷿͓᷿᷿̑ͬe᷿̜᷿᷿᷿ͦ͆r᷿᷿᷿̰᷿̐̚v̷᷿᷿̞᷿᷿᷉e᷿᷿᷅͏᷿᷿͝s᷿᷿᷿᷿̈ͨ́ ᷿͎᷿̄t᷿᷿᷿᷿᷀͌̔o᷿͏᷿᷿̝᷿᷇ d̶̶᷿᷿᷿᷿͘i᷿᷿᷿᷿ͣͣ͘ȩ᷿̰᷿͉᷿᷿!̸᷿̩᷿᷿᷿̒ _

You balled up your first as you felt the familiar tingle of your magic wrap itself around your arm.  You looked up at the frame, staring back at the reflection of yourself in the mirror.

You know you didn’t let Sans die.  What you just saw, wasn’t right.

__ T̤᷂͕h͔̻᷈i᷂ͨ̆s̼̋ͯ d̮͘͝ï̖̎d̪̳̯n̸͎̓’̮̖̒tͣͧ̌ ̢̮h̴͒ͭa̶᷈ͦp̡̝͆p̶͙᷅ĕ̳͜n̡̹͐!͐̂̕  
  
You cried out as your fist hit the mirror frame.  A burst of energy escaped from the thread in front of you as the frame cracked.  It shattered before you and fell to the floor.  The pieces were swallowed by the floor as the room began to spin for you once again.  All you heard before you lost consciousness again was the manic laughter of the child as you fell backward towards the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't think this would come out as fast as it did.
> 
> I had a lot of time to write yesterday and today. I was also pretty excited to start writing about my representation of the threads of time. Not very thread like, huh? 
> 
> Thank you for the lovely feedback for last chapter. I am extremely happy you guys liked it. We are reaching the climax of the story, but we still have a little way to go before the end of this fic.
> 
> Either way, thank you so much for reading Patchwork. We're going to be figuring out what happened with Patchwork's thread as we advance through the next few chapters. Despite how terrible it may seem now, stay determined all!
> 
> Shameless tumblr plug for updates, questions, and all things related to myself: kioribug.tumblr.com


	35. The Anomaly

You sat silently in front of the place the thread had once been.  You didn’t mean to.  The magic that had welled up inside you had dispersed once the thread had shattered.  Once the laughter had died down, you sat staring at the spot the shards had been just moments before.  You didn’t hear Gaster’s steps behind you, but you could sense him.

_ I’m tired…  _

Your thoughts felt weak as you let the frustration from earlier dissipate.  You were too tired to be angry, too tired to be sad, just...tired of this.  When Gaster chose to remain silent you gritted your teeth and tightly clenched your fist.  

_ I...we’re truly trapped here? _

Gaster was slow to respond which had little to no emotion in it, “Yes.  You are correct.”

You spun around to fix him with a hard glare, but you faltered.  You saw the lights of his eyes had faded, he stood looking passed you to where the thread had once been  You were upset and honestly a bit scared.  

_ D̂᷆͜id y̢̮̟̌ou᷁ͮ̽ ǩnow?̮͔͠ _

It felt easier to speak, despite how empty you felt.  It felt good to smash the thread in front of you.  You never intended to do that, but still.  The anger you felt when you saw how the thread played out.  You didn’t understand why you didn’t intervene.  You know you stepped in, but you saw yourself just sit there.  You couldn’t understand why Frisk would turn on you, but between the voice and then…

_ The voice… _

You knew your thoughts would carry to Gaster, but you didn’t care.  His silence only grated on your nerves, but after smashing the thread, you didn’t have the energy to sit there and argue.  As if sensing your mood, Gaster let out a sigh.

“I knew.” Gaster approached you before offering his hand.  You hesitated to take it, but you took his offer and he helped you to stand.  “I never saw the need to bring it up.  I never saw this in any of the threads.”

_ That’s because it didn’t happen yet.  It...that’s something you should have told me! _

“That does not matter-”

_ Of course, it matters!  How can you know what’s going to happen if it hasn’t happened yet! _

“In this place, there is no time.  Everything that can happen, has happened.”  Gaster slowly turned you around and placed a hand on your shoulder.

As you looked out at them, you felt small.  Before you were thousands of frames.  You felt your head spin, but you knew you wouldn’t figure it out on your own.

_ What are the threads? _

You turned back to look up at Gaster as he gently squeezed your shoulder.

“They are records of time,” Gaster responded emotionless once again.  He came to stand at your side as he raised his hand once again, calling on another thread.  When it stopped, you instantly recognized it.

It was strange and you felt the hint of embarrassment as you watched Sans having a bit of fun at your expense.  You had forgotten about waking up next to him on Christmas morning and him keeping you pinned.  You felt a warmth in your chest that you hadn’t felt in a while.

“There are infinite records.  Alternate timelines which are not limited by ‘what ifs’.” Gaster held out his hand as another thread appeared next to it.  You saw the same scene again but this time Sans slept on the couch while Frisk sat at their feet.  

He didn’t wait for you to comment as these two threads rotated out what seemed to be an overlapping collection of threads appeared before you suddenly.  The threads in front of you all contained records of Sans. 

“Any conscious living individual has immeasurable threads, but when one thread ends-” As Gaster spoke a dull, inanimate frames emerged from behind the previous frames. “-the thread simply stops as well.”  Gaster traced his hand along the crack before turning back to look at you.  “Those nightmares you had accessed were recorded threads, or, Sans’ access with those threads…”

Sans’ access?  Has he seen these?  He told me there was nothing here...YOU told me he couldn’t see this place!

“He does, he hasn’t, and I did,” Gaster answered your questions quickly with his response.  With another pass of his hand, a new thread came forward.  More branching threads appeared behind it and expanded further than any previous set.

_ What...what is this? _

The frame around the thread in front gave off a soft glow before a new thread appeared behind it.

“A new thread has been created from the original.” Gaster motioned for the new one to come forward and you saw a small patch of yellow flowers.  You gasped as you saw Frisk lay amongst them, unconscious.  “I had hoped that this was no longer possible…” Gaster pulled his hand away as he let it rest in the middle of his chest.  “...I was wrong.”

You didn’t understand what he meant but you watched as Frisk sat up.  They rubbed their head and looked around before a familiar flower came into view.

_ F̓l̸o᷅w̿ḛy͒!͎ _

You thought the flower would attack Frisk like they had to you.  You watched helplessly but something was strange.  The flower looked worried, unsettled even.  They were talking with Frisk.

What’s going on?

“A RESET,” Gaster spoke as he turned his attention elsewhere.

_ Ẅ̟̌h᷂̊ͥa̾͞͞t͉̣̙?ͨ̃ͪ _

“The thread you broke...it was the last recorded.  There are no new threads created from that moment.  A new thread has been created at an earlier point in time.” Gaster turned away from the thread as he stared out into the darkness.  A moment later you heard the familiar hum as the skulls approach him.  Gaster gave them a stern look, and you could almost sense an inkling of magic from him.  “Find them.”  The skulls snapped their jaws before darting off in different directions.  

_ When you say a RESET, what do you mean exactly? _

You turned away from the thread to watch Gaster as smaller skull approached him.  He let his hand rest on the tip of its nose as he happily nuzzled into it.  Gaster did not look at you when he spoke.

“I told you once before that you and Frisk’s human souls were special.  After careful observation, it was clear that this child wasn’t like any of the other children that fell before.  This one had an extraordinarily strong soul.  Their magic would never physically manifest, it manipulates.  It draws on the threads and pulls their current self back to a previous point in time.”

_ Are you trying to tell me a child has the ability to basically go back in time? _

Gaster finally looked away from the skull and fixed his sight on you.  “With all, you have seen and learned you find this concept the most unbelievable?  You stand before records of time and you have trouble grasping this?”

You lightly bit your tongue.  He was right.  Honestly, it wasn’t just learning the fact that Frisk could restart time.  You felt small, tiny in comparison to everything you had learned.  Behind you, thoughts of lives played out.  Anyone living being’s path a mere speck compared to the grand scheme of things.  You took a deep breath, grounding yourself .  You came to understand in such a short time how much you didn’t know.  

_ How many times has this happened? _

You weren’t sure if you wanted to know, but you wanted a better understanding of it.

“I don’t know.  I have lost count trying to keep track of every RESET.” Gaster spoke quietly.  The skull that had come to seek out attention from Gaster turned to you and circled you.  You were taken aback by it, unsure how to act around it.

Gaster watched you before you took notice of the sad expression clearly written on his face.  He refused to look you in the eye as he cast his eyes down at the floor.

_ Gaster? _

Gaster didn’t acknowledge you, but he moved his mouth slowly before his words became audible.

“This was never meant to happen.  You were never meant to come here.”

You didn’t want to think about it, but if you were stuck here, you were now the same as Gaster.  Forgotten to those who exist in the thread.  Did you leave any traces behind?  You didn’t know.  You had one last question for Gaster regarding everything.  The rest you could probably view the threads for answers, once you figured out how to work them that was.

_ You told me a few times that I was without time, what did you mean? _

Gaster didn’t look to you as he turned back towards the threads.  His hand hesitated before the threads shifted.  You turned to watch as only a few frames came into view.  You jumped when you felt the skull to your right nudge you and you couldn’t help but reach and guide it over towards your left side.  You looked back towards the threads before turning back to look at Gaster.  He motioned for you to to take a closer look.  You took a slow breath before the skull bumped you forward.  

You hesitated as you approached the dark, cracked thread before you held out your hand.  The thread almost stirred to life as a familiar scene played out before you.  You found yourself being pulled into the world before you felt a firm hand grip your shoulder.  You didn’t have to turn to know who it was.  Gaster leaned over you as his other hand called out to the thread in front of you.

There was no warning.

You forcefully pushed back away from the thread as the fire from your childhood stirred to life.  The sound of the sirens reached your ears as you saw the horror story that was your reality.  You didn’t turn away, though.  Gaster’s hand on your shoulder reassured you that you were here, right now, safe and sound.  You felt your heart flutter as you took slow deep breaths to try to calm yourself.  

You felt another gentle nudge at your side as you looked away from the thread to see what the skull had wanted.  When it had your attention it nudged your arm once again.  You didn’t realize until then just how tightly you had gripped the front of your shirt until then.  You let go of your shirt and watched your hand shake before the skull nudged your arm one last time.  You placed your hand gently on top of its nose and it pressed against your hand.  You couldn’t help but crack a small smile with the small gesture gave you comfort.

You turned back to the thread as you watched yourself pass out from the smoke.  The floor gave way and that was the end of the thread.  You waited for more.  You slowly realize what Gaster had meant before.  You finally understood what he meant, but it still didn’t make sense.

_ I͊'̻m͕ nͭo͏t͡ d̢e̠ãd̘.̏ _

“There are no other records of time recorded for you,” Gaster spoke as he held up his hand again and new threads appeared before you.  You saw yourself sitting in a hospital bed with the same therapist you had seen often throughout your treatment.  

“I'm right there!  You can see me!  I am alive!”

“Though you may not have any records of your own you do exist in the memories of others.” Gaster paused as he waved his hand and the separate threads all began to play at once.  “You once shared with me that you felt this man did not care about your well-being, that he would forget day to day questions he had already asked.  These threads are spread out across multiple timelines.  The only changes in this timeline are the ones you create.”

You watched the threads unfold in front of you.  You recalled the visit and if what Gaster had just said was true, it would make a lot of sense.

_ I still don’t understand… _

“I do not know what this means.  I have never been able to do anything more than view a thread.” Gaster released your shoulder as the threads were released back to their proper place in time.  “I first saw you while watching over Sans and Papyrus.  I paid you little attention.  You were just another human.  After Sans became involved with you I found what I showed you.”

You stood there silently as you felt Gaster leave you to stand before the threads of time.  It was a good thing.  You wanted some time alone to think.  Everything weighed heavily on your mind.

_ I think I want to be alone right now. _

You felt another nudge from the skull as you sunk to the floor below you.  The skull settled at your side and you absentmindedly continued to pet it.

“I’ll leave that blaster with you.  If you need something from me just tell it to find me.  It was instructed to guard you in my place.”  Without a sound, you turned to look back to Gaster but he was gone.

You sat there before the threads with the skull at your side.  You turned to it, lightly rubbing it’s nose as you processed what you had just learned.

_ I know I’m alive.   _

The blaster nudged you as it stared up at you with its giant eyes.  You could help but give it a weak smile.

_ Blaster...huh?  I guess that makes sense. _

You paused in your thoughts as you looked back to the threads.  You wanted to see the thread you shattered again.  You hoped it would be different, but you weren’t sure if that was possible anymore.

“Iͬ really w᷿ant̘ to̡ s̄ee S̤a̩n͇sͨ.̝”  You weren’t speaking to anyone in particular.  Your heart felt heavy and you couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing him again.  The blaster moving startled you as it suddenly darted from your side.  It flew passed a few threads before turning back watching you.

Did it want you to follow it?  Your question was quickly answered as it bounced up and down before darting off behind the threads.  You pushed yourself to your feet and took a few steps after it.  You hesitated, unsure if walking between the threads was safe.  The blaster reappeared again as it rushed passed you and pressed firmly against the small in your back.  You stumbled forward and it quickly rushed around you as it led the way through the threads.

It knew something.

You followed it as it weaved you through the threads.  You stole glances at each one you passed.  Hundreds of people lived out their lives before you.  Happy moments.  Sad moments.  All of them precious, personal even.  You felt a bit of guilt prying into their lives but you forced yourself to look forward as you picked up your pace to follow after the blaster.  When you thought you lost it you stopped between an empty space.  

The blaster had turned to watch you as you stopped at the edge.  You heaved heavy breaths as you pressed your hand to your chest.  You took a deep breath as you looked around, unsure what you were looking for before something caught your eye.  

On the ground in front of the blaster looked to be a shard of glass.  As you approached it began to glow the same violet color of your magic.  You glanced at your hand but you couldn’t feel your magic.  You were relieved, but at the same time, you didn’t understand what this was.  The blaster’s eyes darted off somewhere before it left you alone.

The silence bothered you.

You swallowed a breath of air as you held your breath and took the last few steps towards it.  You stood above it, unsure of what to do, but the blaster led you here for some reason.  You’d be lying if you said you weren’t a little bit curious after all.

As you knelt down the shard shot up from the floor causing you to fall backward onto the ground below.  The shard vibrated before expanding above you.  When it finished it resembled a splintered thread, indicating more than just the end of the owner’s life.

You slowly pushed yourself to your feet and approached the thread.  You had a feeling you knew what it was and it only took a moment to confirm.

_ The lab… _

You felt relieved the thread you shattered was still here.  Not lost forever.  It was hard to make out, but you knew.  You looked around, hoping the blaster was with you, but it had still not returned.  You wish you had asked how the threads worked, but it didn’t seem like Gaster used any magic.  

You held out your hand to the thread just as he did.  You didn’t know if there was anything else you had to do, but when you turned around you saw yourself in the lab once again.  You took a deep breath as you saw Sans and yourself reading the journal that had belonged to Gaster.

You’d find what was different.

You know what happened.

You weren’t going to let Sans die.

You approached the pair as they read and waiting.  Any moment they would go return to Frisk and this nightmare would begin.  You saw yourself jump as you saw Sans slam the journal against the ground.  

You swallowed as the thread played out the events.  You saw a blaster summoned to Sans side charging it’s condensed magical attack.  You watched yourself run forward to shield Frisk.  You were a fool, depending on your magic to protect you.  You stared down at your hand and flexed your fingers.  Your magic absent still.  You cursed under your breath as you watched yourself fly across the room away from Frisk as the attack struck the place you had stood.

You turned back to Sans and Frisk, watching the two of them for any changes.  You know you didn’t have a photogenic memory.  You knew it would take you a while to pinpoint any small difference.  It didn’t matter.  You needed to figure out why.  Why you couldn’t you see what actually happened.

As events played out exactly the same as last time you closed your eyes.  You wanted to watch again.  You didn’t want to see this ending again.  When you couldn’t hear the familiar hum of magic you opened your eyes to see Sans and yourself once again reading the journal.

The thread responded to you, if not only to replay the memory.  You took a deep breath and continued to watch.

Reading…

Scattered journal…

Frisk … no… the demon appearing.

What was different?

Something had to be different.

You moved towards Sans, maybe seeing everything in a different perspective would help.

It didn’t.

“Again.”

Reading…

Scattered journal…

The demon…

“Again.”

Reading…

Scattered journal…

The demon…

“Again!”

You don’t know how many times you repeated this.  You lost count.  You didn’t understand.  None of it changed.  You could recite their words by heart at this point.  Their every action.  

Minutes, hours, days?

This place was draining.  How could Gaster keep himself together?  Staying inside the thread gave you the illusion of time.  The only problem was that once you left the thread, that illusion was gone.  It was like no time had passed.  

It was the space between time, after all.  That’s what Gaster called it.  Time did not exist here.  The past, future, present happened all at once in an instant.  New threads were created and old ones lost all at the same time.  

You were wasting time here…

But you didn’t have time…

“Frisk…”

Your eyes focused on the sight before you.  You stood next to yourself in the thread.  At some point, you lost your train of thought.

_ The only changes in this timeline are the ones you create. _

Gaster’s words echoed in your head as you watched yourself.  He was right, you, the you in this thread that is, did nothing.  You gritted your teeth and clenched your fist.  You shook with anger as you watched yourself.

“GET UP!”

You yelled towards yourself.

“DO SOMETHING!  SANS WILL DIE!”

You felt tears sting your eyes as you watched yourself just sit there.  You knew it was useless.  Gaster said it himself.  You could only view the threads.

But you shattered this one…

“What are you doing?  Why are you attacking Frisk?”

You couldn’t take it anymore.

“THAT’S  **N̍O᷄T̘ F͌R̗I̟S̻K̿** !”

You flinched.

You startled yourself as you took a few steps back.

Something was different.  Something changed.

Before you could figure it out, you felt a hand grip your shoulder and the thread closed around you.  You were spun around to see Gaster hovering over you.  His hands gripped you tightly as his violet magic encased his eyes.

“What were you doing!”

You pushed against him and fought to get away.  “Let me go!”  The blaster that Gaster had left you appeared at your side as it’s jaws latched tightly onto Gaster’s arm.  He let you go of you instantly before flinging the blaster away.  You gripped your side where Gaster’s fingers had dug in and gently rubbed it.  You took a few steps away, glaring at Gaster.  “What’s your problem!”

The blaster returned to your side as it floated protectively in front of you.   Gaster held his arm where the blaster had bit into him.  He looked back up to you before looking back at the thread.  

“You are left vulnerable when you view a thread. Normally this would not be an issue as the blasters care not what you do, but we have another uninvited guest here as well.  Your blaster was not at your side.  I found it idly among the threads.  What do you think would happen if  _ it _ came back?”

It, the demon, was what he was referring to.  You didn’t have to be reminded.  They were here, taunting you.  They are the reason you came to be here.  You wouldn’t, DIDN’T,  jump otherwise.

“I needed to know why!  I had to find out what was different!” You argued your point.   “Time doesn’t exist here!  What could happen?  It’s not like I can die, right?  I mean, according to you I’m already-”  
  
“I don’t know,” Gaster said quietly.  “I don’t know what could happen to you.  There have never been any records recorded from here.  You are an anomaly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another smaller update. We learned a few things about the threads. We have a new friend, and Chara is still around.
> 
> For those in the US, happy Thanksgiving! Be safe if you're going shopping this evening. Stay warm, be kind, and I hope you find the deals you're looking for.
> 
> Thank you all for reading, stay lovely all and if you ever chat, ask a question, or just get small updates for chapters please check out my tumblr.
> 
> Shamless plug for tumblr: http://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	36. Making Things Right

Sans had enough of staying in bed.  He couldn’t, wouldn’t, believe that the last year or so of his life was only just a dream.  A long time ago he remembered researching time and had found a massive anomaly in the time-space continuum.  He could never determine the exact cause.  If things were going they way they were now, he would have his answer soon enough.

His hand shoved deep into his pockets and the sound of the wind howled as he passed through the dense forest.  The trees creaked, and the snow underfoot crunched as it compressed tightly under his weight.  He stopped and stood on the side of the bridge close to his old sentry station.  He stood there, his hood pulled up over his head as he stood still, watching, waiting.

Sans felt the phone in his pocket vibrate and he removed it to take a look at who was calling.  He wasn’t surprised to see Papyrus’ name appear across the screen.  He answered it and held it to his head.

“SANS?”  There was a pause before Papyrus started up again.  “I am glad to know that you are up and about today, but please do not laze about your sentry station!  I will be coming shortly to check up on you to make sure you are actually working!  What would you do without your cool brother to keep an eye on you?”

Sans couldn’t help but smile.  “Sure Paps.  I’m working hard, or you could even say I’m hardly working.”

“SANS!” Papyrus shouted into the phone as Sans pulled the small phone away from his head. 

“I’ll see you soon,” Sans said as he moved the phone closer to his head once again.

“Sans…” Papyrus tried to sound stern, but his smile could be heard through his voice.  “If you see a human, please call me right away!”  Before Sans could reply the sudden click followed by silence told him that Papyrus had already ended the call.  Sans shoved his phone back into his pocket and smiled.  

Sans was relieved that Papyrus was in better spirits.  Papyrus was working as hard as ever to become a Royal guard.  Papyrus wanted to prove himself and been busy taking care of him the last few days had worn on him.  

The distant sound of snow underfoot drew his attention to the path ahead of him.  Sans was and wasn’t surprised at the same time as he saw the familiar face approaching slowly in the distance.  He would not hide this time, though.  After all, he just got his answer.

Frisk stopped on the opposite side of the bridge and looked up, surprised to see Sans, but partly relieved.  Before they could speak, Sans did.

“Did you have something to do with this?”

Frisk was taken aback, but tears welled up in their eyes before spilling over to run down their cheeks.  Without any signs, Sans could hear their SOUL speak.

**You remember?**

Sans didn’t answer as he watched Frisk.  He had to make sure this was the kid, HIS kid.  Whatever he fought in his nightmares and in Gaster’s lab was not Frisk.  It was in their skin, but whoever attacked with such violent intent was not Frisk.  That he was certain of.

**Sans...I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to reset...I meant to load before we met up with ____.**

Sans’ breath hitched as he heard your name.  Frisk silently cried as they wiped their eyes.  They shivered as they rubbed their red nose.  White puffs of breath escaped their mouth as they took in deep breaths and hiccuped between exhaling.  This was Frisk, he rushed forward and pulled the child into a tight hug, relieved.

“Kid, you had me scared.  What the hell happened back there?” Sans pulled away as he turned to hear the familiar crunching of snow.

“Papyrus is coming.” Sans spotted the lamp that was conveniently placed and laughed softly to himself.  “Give me a minute to send him off, then you and I have a lot to talk about.”

Frisk wiped their eyes and nose once more and nodded.  They hurried over behind the lamp and knelt down just in time as Papyrus walked into the clearing.  Sans shoved his hands into his pocket and smiled as Papyrus hooked his hands on his hips as he glanced around the clearing.

“Sup, bro?” Sans realized after he spoke that this had begun this chain of speaking between the two.

“You know what ‘sup,’ brother!  It’s been eight days and you still haven’t recalibrated your puzzles!”  

It was odd for Sans, feeling an overwhelming wave of deja vu as his brother spoke to him.  He had forgotten about his puzzles, but at the same time, he couldn’t remember where they were either.

“I know that you have not been in the best of spirits and I am dearly happy that you felt well enough to work today,”

Sans didn’t recall that, but he, himself, didn’t stay locked away in his room before Frisk approached Snowdin the first time.

“but you just hang around outside your station!  What are you evening doing?!?”

There were some small changes, but Sans tried his best to recall their exact conversation that felt so long ago to him.  When Papyrus left the clearing Frisk appeared out from behind the lamp once again.

“Kid, I have a lot of questions for you, and by the looks of you, you’re not feeling any better about this, but we don’t have time to talk right now.  We’ll have time to talk later.  I’ll keep an eye on you until then.  We’ll figure something out together.” Sans needed time to think.  From what Frisk mentioned earlier and what he knew, the world was reset to an earlier point in time.  

They were back underground and their lives living in the city were all but a distant dream now.  Alphys, Undine, Toriel, and everyone else are all trapped under Mt. Ebott again.  Frisk freed them once before, they could do it again.  He could believe in that for now at least.

He’d get to meet you again as well.

Sans watched as Frisk went off on their way after Papyrus.  Sans took a moment to collect his thoughts before he turned to walk towards the ruin doors.  He felt a strange yet familiar sensation as he clutched his chest.  He turned around and stared back towards the clearing, searching for anything nearby, but no one was there.  He turned away and held out his hand as a door appeared before him.  He stared into the blackness of the abyss before taking the step over the threshold and allowing it to close behind him.

**~ * ~**

“I don’t understand why it’s not working!”

Your voice had become stronger.  It no longer felt like your words were becoming lost in the space around you.

“Again!”

You felt fatigued.  How many times had you replayed this thread trying to produce the same results as before?

“I think that this is enough…” Gaster spoke quietly as he placed a hand gently on your shoulder.  “I am afraid that this is only wearing on you mentally.  It will be unwise if you remain here.” 

You pulled away and knocked his arm away. 

“NO!” You heard the journal slam to the ground behind you.  “It was different...something different happened!”

There was a voice…

“I kept hearing a voice!” You paused in your train of thought as you finally met Gaster’s gaze.  He looked at you sadly, almost unsure of how to talk with you.  “I heard you speak to me!  I listened to your directions!  I know-”

“I lost my ability to speak with you when you severed my connection with you and the thread.” Gaster interrupted, quelling your anger.

You were at a lost for words.  

Gaster continued when he found he had your full attention, “Until you came here, I was unable to view the threads.  I needed not to wait long, after all, it was almost in the same instant that you fell here.  Needless to say, in a place that has no time of its own, you never need to wait.”

Your hand instinctively reached into your pocket and the tips of your fingers brushed against the crystal.  

“When...how did I sever you from the the thread...what thread?” You didn’t know where to begin or what question to ask.  You could hear the fighting starting behind you, but you were no longer focused on that.  You were too caught up in what Gaster was telling you at this moment.

Gaster sighed as he changed his tone.  “When I snapped and lost control of myself.  It was shortly after we made it to Snowdin.”  There was a sadness that lingered as he did not turn his gaze away from you.  “An apology would feel empty at this time, so I will not offer one to you now.”

You stood quietly as your gaze fell to the floor.  You wrapped your arm around yourself, hugging yourself tightly.

“Then what do I do now?  Who spoke to me?” Your eyes screwed tightly shut as you heard the you in the thread mumble as they watched the fight between Sans and that demon.  You couldn’t stand it anymore.

Why couldn’t the you in the thread stand up herself?  Why couldn’t she figure out that wasn’t really Frisk, just someone else possessing their body?

When did you become so weak?

You felt your magic react to your disgust, your anger as you squeezed the abnormal curve where your right shoulder should be.

“You’re a fucking idiot!  That’s  **_not Frisk_ ** !  When did you stop standing on my own two feet?  We got along just fine before they came into our lives.  We didn’t need anyone to think for us!  Get up!  GET UP!  Don’t just fucking sit there!  If you can’t get that demon to  **_separate_ ** from Frisk it will be over.   **_You know how this ends!_ ** ”  Your legs gave way as you fell towards the floor.

“____!” Gaster caught you as he eased you to the ground.  “What else did you hear?”

You opened your good eye and looked up at him through blurry vision.  “Huh?  I...I don’t remember...Everything happened so quickly!  I-”

You didn’t understand as Gaster quickly moved out of the way for you to see yourself tightly gripping your head.  You were looking away from the fighting, to focused on the sudden pain it looked like you were in.

It didn’t dawn on you at first, but quickly you realized what was happening.

“I heard my own voice?”

“Quickly!  Before it is too late!  What did you hear?” Gaster’s grip on you had become painful, but he too was waiting anxiously.  

You watched yourself, the anger leaving you as you felt your chest tighten.  You couldn’t honestly remember.  You were confused, the pain was unbearable, but you knew you didn’t want Sans to die.  You needed to say something.  

“Look at them!” Your voice felt like it could break as it cracked.  “Please!  You’ll see that’s  **_not Frisk_ ** …”  You held your breath as you waited, hoping that whatever you said would get through to the you here in the thread.  You felt every nerve on your body jump as the you before you looked up, stricken with fear.

“You have to do something!  Sans...  **_he will die_ ** if you don’t do something!  Please...I’m begging you!  Stand up!”  You saw out of the corner of your eye as Sans split the world in two beside him.  Another blaster emerged from the space between time as it began its attack.  It wasn’t long before Sans faltered and fell to his knee.

_ “No...he can’t do this!” _

“Keep it up!” Gaster urged you to continue, whatever was happening was working.

“Please... You need to  **_help him_ ** .  Don’t let him die!”  You could feel your body weakening as you were becoming lightheaded.  “Get up!  You need to  **_separate_ ** them before it’s too late.  Don’t let that demon kill them like before.  You can stop it...you have to...please!  Just get up!”

_ “Before...separated like before….before what?” _

You felt fresh tears sting as you felt your hope fading.  The you in the thread couldn’t understand your wishes.  At this rate, Sans would surely be killed again.  You couldn’t bear to see it again.  You felt sick.  Frustrated that you were so close, yet couldn’t do anything, couldn’t change anything.

You held your breath as you watched yourself push herself to her feet and take the first trembling step towards Sans and the demon.

_ “I can’t lose him...I can’t let him die.” _

You couldn’t help but sob as you relief washed over you.  You couldn’t understand, but somehow your words were reaching the you here.  The tightness didn’t leave your chest as you heard Sans’ ragged voice desperately plea.

_ “You need to get out of here…” _

_ “You can’t do this Sans...you’re exhausted.” _

You remembered this.  You felt your shoulders shake with every sob as you watched the events you could remember unfold. 

_ “I’ll fix this…” _

“Thank goodness...thank goodness…” You chanted to yourself over and over as you tightly screwed your eye shut once again.  The world around you begun to spin as your weight pressed against Gaster.  He steadied you, but continued to watch, making sure it changed.

**_I w o n ’ t l e t y o u s t o p m e._ **

You still flinched at that sinister sounding voice followed by the cackling laughter.  You opened your eyes again as you saw Frisk’s crimson soul split and immediately began drawing your magic in. You heard your own screams as you watched yourself stumble backward towards the edge. 

“Just  **_fall_ ** …” Your words barely carried over the screams of agonizing pain.  “It will stop if you  **_fall_ ** …”  You swallowed a hard breath as you screwed your eyes shut once again, “Just  **_fall_ ** ...that’s how you save him...just  **_fall_ ** .”

“You’re not taking the last step.” Gaster spoke quietly to you.  His attention wasn’t focused on you, but on the changing thread around him.

You knew you’d fall.  You’ve pushed yourself this far.  There was no way you’d let this all go to waste.

“I’ll  **_shatter_ **  this thread as many times as I need to…” You spoke softly to Gaster as you felt yourself become heavier.  You felt drained, mentally and physically.  You could feel your magic fade as you fought to remain awake for just a moment longer.

**_I t ’ s u s e l e s s.  Y o u c a n ’ t w i n._ **

You did win, though.  You didn’t allow them to kill Sans.

“I’ll fall into the **_s_** **_pace between time_ ** …”  The last few words fell from your lips as you heard the distant sound of shattering glass.

**~ * ~**

You felt a sharp nudge against your arm as you came to.  It took you a moment to realize that you had been left to rest away from the threads.  The blaster that had been left with you happily nudged your elbow again as you tried to focus on something.  You tried to sit up but your head spun as you nearly slipped.  A familiar hand caught you and helped you return to resting once again.

“I see that you have awoken.  I would offer you something to help regain your strength but I believe you understand that isn’t a possibility here.” Gaster sounded a bit distracted.  He wasn’t looking at you as he spoke, and you had closed your eyes to help still the spinning space around you.

“Wh...what’s happened?” Your voice was raspy, but at least it wasn’t painful to speak.

Gaster must have turned to look at you, his voice sounded closer, as well as his thoughts seem more collected.

“A new thread had been created along with branching paths set behind it.  Simply put, you altered the thread successfully.” Anything else Gaster may have said didn’t get through to you.  A wide grin wormed it’s way onto your face.  You couldn’t remain still knowing this now.  Gaster did not fight you as you forced yourself to sit up.

“I need to see him.” Your mouth was dry, and you forced your good eye open to try and find the new thread.  You still felt light headed, but you could rest later.  Gaster helped steady you.  You could hear his heavy sigh, but he did not argue with you.

“As you wish.” Gaster held up his hand as a thread appeared before the two of you.

You waited eagerly and held out your hand to the thread as it came closer.  You felt a different, unsettling warmth within the very core of your being as you merged into the thread.  You gasped as you felt weightless.  You quickly closed your eye as you felt the world spin around you again.

“You sense that as well?” Gaster didn’t sound too surprised.  You soon felt his arms wrap around you as he hoisted you into his arms effortlessly.  He didn’t look it, but he was physically strong.  You felt embarrassed, but Gaster paid you no mind.  “You helped create this thread, a small amount of your magic, your soul, resides within now.”  You didn’t understand, but you were soon distracted by the sound of snow crunching beneath Gaster and your weight.  

You opened your good eye once again to take a look around to see vague hints of something familiar to you.

“I do not expect you to remember, but-” Gaster’s words were lost on deaf ears.  You recognized the rope bridge instantly.  You were outside of Snowdin.  Something in front of you moving drew your attention, your breath stilled as the sound of the compacting snow was not coming from Gaster, but from a smaller monster in front of you.

“Sans...” You spoke hoarsely as you felt a flutter in the pit of your stomach.  “You’re alive…” You leaned back against Gaster, smiling as you watch him continue along the path.  Gaster must have stopped, but you couldn’t speak.  Your eye fluttered shut as you drifted back off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time we stand on our own two feet for once.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! 
> 
> For updates, please check out my tumblr.
> 
> http://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	37. Learning Control

Sans watched Frisk’s battle Papyrus from a distance.  He noticed right away that there was something different about Frisk.  They were slower, their reaction time wasn’t as good as he remembered. Frisk could easily dodge all of this before.

Sans watched like a hawk.  Something was wrong, and for the first time during these fights, he was afraid that Frisk would actually fall.  Sans held out his hand and helped Frisk dodge Papyrus’ special attack.  The ridiculous display made him smile, Papyrus had always been creative, but that was something he could admire another day.  Sans’ heart broke when he saw his brother finally relent on their battle.

“I can’t even stop someone as weak as you…”

Sans let go of Frisk’s soul and tightly gripped his shirt.  He hated this.  He hated seeing Papyrus this upset.  Undyne...Alphys...Toriel...everyone...even you...Papyrus no longer had any friends.  All of it was stolen from him, from all of them!

_How could this happen?_

Sans balled up his fist and struck the ground.  He glanced up at Frisk who had now rushed forward wrapping Papyrus in a hug.  He could be made at Frisk.  No...he wanted to be mad at Frisk.  Despite those thoughts running through his head, he just couldn’t.  He loved the kid too much.  When they met at the bridge Frisk had been upset.  They didn’t want this either.

Sans watched as the two of them returned back to Snowdin, Frisk looked a little worn for wear and Sans would be sure to offer to take them to Grillby’s again.  He slowly walked to his sentry station.  Monster Kid hurried past him and they hurried to hide in a corner.  Sans pretended not to see them and took his place behind his sentry station.

It was at least an hour before Frisk approached the station.  Sans had fallen asleep and he lazily smiled at Frisk as he woke up.  “Morning kid…”  Frisk wasn’t happy, they tightly clutched their shirt and fidgeted with every sound.  Sans sat up quickly, remembering where he was and what had happened and reached over to gently pat Frisk on the head, “Kid, we’ll figure this out.”  He glanced around and saw the familiar fish monster standing near the echo flower before he leaned closer to Frisk, “I have a little time now, but first let’s get you some food at Grillby’s.”

Frisk nodded, a small smile returning to their face as their stomach let out a low rumble.  Despite how terrible Sans felt, he offered Frisk a genuine smile and walked out from behind his station.  “Alright kid, I know a shortcut.”  He didn’t even have to ask before Frisk tightly latched onto his right arm and nodded.  Frisk kept up with Sans’ pace as he walked ways away from the other monsters in the room and cut a hole in the world in front of him.  He took the first step and guided Frisk along as the suffocating black swallowed the two of them whole.

Grillby’s Bar came into focus as Sans deposited the two of them in front of Grillby’s.  He quickly opened the door and hurried Frisk into the welcomed warmth of the building.  Sans was greeted with the warm welcome and he made the effort to crack a joke before taking his seat with Frisk up at the bar.  He ordered two baskets of fries and sat quietly.  When Sans was sure no one was listening to them he leaned over and made it look like he was offering Frisk the bottle of ketchup that sat in front of him.

“Be honest with me kid, how many times have we done this song and dance before?” Sans set the ketchup bottle down in front of Frisk and watched as Frisk reached for the bottle and held it in their hands.  Grillby had returned from the kitchen and set the basket of fries down in front of them.  He waited a moment to make eye contact with Sans.  The corner of Sans’ mouth twitched into a smile as he turned to the flame monster before him.  “Thanks, Grillbz.  Can I add this onto my tab?”

Grillby picked up a dusty glass and clean cloth from under his bar and carefully polished the glass.  He nodded to Sans before another customer called to his attention and he left the two to eat their fries alone.

**With me?  A few times…**

“Sounds like we’ve done this more than just a few times.”  Sans had figured that was the case.  The confirmation twisted knots inside his own soul as he slowly came to terms what Frisk was saying.  He could feel Frisk’s soul quivering.  “There were other times when it wasn’t you?”  Sans didn’t need Frisk to say anything.  He felt their soul lurch and that was more than the answer he needed.  “Why didn’t you say anything sooner kid?”

**Sans...no one could see them...no one could hear them...NO ONE.  Not even you.  I tried...I tried to tell you before.  I asked for your help and...and…**

Sans gently placed his hand on Frisk’s back and gently rubbed his hand in small circles to calm them.

“I get it.” Sans paused as he took a handful of fries and held them close to his own mouth, “Let’s finish eating and talk more when we return to Waterfall.  Undyne will be showing up soon.”

Frisk wiped their nose on their sleeve and nodded.  They took a deep breath in through their stuffy nose making a very unappetizing sound before digging into their own basket of fries.

**~ * ~**

Frisk tightly held onto Sans’ hand as the two made their way on foot to the sentry station in Waterfall.  They didn’t pass anyone on their way and as soon as their feet touched the rough rock that lined the floors of Waterfall Frisk came to an abrupt stop.  Their head was hung low and their grip on Sans’ hand tightened.

**I’m scared.**

Sans squeezed Frisk’s hand in response.  He didn’t stop to turn around but silently stood there.  He was scared as well.  Everything that they had worked for was gone.  It was like it never happened.  All of their lives, their futures, stolen from them by this magic that Fr-

No...this wasn’t Frisk’s fault.  Sans took a deep breath before he turned around and pulled Frisk into a tight hug.

“You got this kid.  You’ve done this before.  We’re gonna make it there again.” Sans wanted to sound reassuring.  He spoke the words he needed to hear himself.

They would get through this.

**Sans I...I can’t LOAD.  I...I don’t want to die.**

Sans pulled himself away from Frisk and tightly gripped their shoulders.  Until a moment ago it never crossed his mind that Frisk was scared of something else.

“LOAD?  What are you talking about?” Sans steadied his shaking hands.  He didn’t want to scare Frisk anymore than they were now.

**Chara...Chara was the one who could RESET...I borrowed their magic to LOAD.  They RESET my SAVES.  That’s why we started from here again!  Sans...I’m afraid if I die...I won't be able to LOAD anymore.  I’m afraid I-**

“Whoa, whoa, there kiddo.  Take a deep breath.”  Frisk’s small frame shook violently under his own hands.  Sans kneeled to the ground so that he could look Frisk directly in the eyes.  “Look.  I’m not going to let that happen.  We’re going to get out of here.  We’ll see the stars with Tori, go to watch one of those games the humans play in those stadiums with Undyne and Papyrus.  We’ll get to spend weekends with Alphys watching the different strange Animes she’s found.  We’ll visit the library and listen to ____ read-”  Sans voice hitched.  He cleared his throat and pulled Frisk into a gentle hug.  “You remember her?”

_Shattered across space and time…_

Sans held his breath as he recalled what Frisk had mentioned about Gaster.  Alphys was the Royal Scientist.  The CORE was still their primary source of getting by here in the Underground.  Gaster fell into the CORE and he was forgotten.  Frisk was still in Sans’ arms.  “Frisk?”

**I remember…**

Frisk said quietly as they pulled away from Sans.  He was relieved, but their response didn’t sit well with him.  “What’s wrong?”

**Was she the girl at the lab?**

Sans didn’t know what to say.  His mouth felt dry, and he felt as if someone just knocked all the wind out of him.  He swallowed roughly before he carefully chose his words.  “Do you...remember why we were in the lab?”

Frisk shook their head and turned their head away.  Sans felt his soul shudder sadly.  You fell into the CORE.  It didn’t matter.  The events where you fell already happened.  Frisk had mentioned earlier that this, the time resetting, has happened many times before.  Frisk seemed able to recall those, but they couldn’t remember anything about you beyond the lab.

“Do you remember Gaster?” Sans needed to make sure.  He needed to know how much Frisk had forgotten.  Frisk shook their head once more.

**We went to the lab because you wanted to know more about him...Does she have something to do with Gaster?**

“Not exactly kid…” Sans just pulled Frisk into another hug.  He didn’t want Frisk to see his face.  Frisk wouldn’t lie, not about this.  You were gone.  He could remember you, and he couldn’t decide if that was just something cruel or not.

He didn’t want to forget you.

Sans pulled away from Frisk and firmly gripped their hand in his.  “Come on kid, I’ll keep an eye on you when Undyne catches up with you.”

Frisk waved as they parted from Sans back at his sentry station.  The fish monster had left and there was no sign of Kid around either.  The distant sound of water echoed through his room as Sans took a seat next to the Echo Flower.  He leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes.

Your promise echoed in his head and tightly gripped his soul.  He softly laughed before it turned into a frustrated growl as the palms of his hands covered his face.  The heels of his hands dug into his dimmed eye sockets before dragged his hands down his face.

“Will I forget you as well?”

**~ * ~**

You don't remember when you woke up.  All you remember was the floating sensation as the darkness swallowed you whole.  There was no light.  Every step felt like you went nowhere.  The only sense of distance you felt when moving was when you passed by the threads.

Gaster didn’t waste any time.  When you had awoke he directed you to a thread and told you to stay until “something clicked”.  You didn’t fully understand what he meant until you saw what this thread contained.

It was nice, staying within a thread meant you could feel the passage of time.  How long had you been stuck in the space between time?  Days?  Months?  Years?  It could have been even minutes for all you knew.  

Gaster fell into the CORE long before Frisk ever came to the Underground.  Sans and Papyrus were still kids, left alone to defend themselves in this stone cased prison under Ebott.  Gaster had been alone for such a long time.  You couldn’t, no, didn’t blame him for wanting to escape.  Who were you to him?  You were, after all, not supposed to exist.

Here, time meant life.  When you ran out of time, you ceased to exist.  The anomaly, the one that reset time, had broken the flow long ago.  Time was never meant to cease, yet there are so many splintering paths that end.  The first and largest splintered end was when Gaster was removed from time.  When he had fallen into the CORE, a new chain of threads had formed.  Like your final thread, Gaster did not have a second thread.  A thread where he did not fall did not simply exist.  If there was anything you had learned while being here, is that the threads were never wrong.  

“It’s not working!”

You snapped out of your thoughts as your attention returned to focus on the two before you.  You had taken a seat on a rock out of the way of those before you.  You were here to learn how to control your magic.  It sucked, though.  You couldn’t ask questions and the fact that you were a human didn’t make this any easier.  Monsters, after all, were made out of magic while you simply weren’t.

“You’re trying to force it.  Just relax.”

You couldn’t help but smile.  Before you were the two brothers, an old memory from the past.  Papyrus was pouting, crossing his arms and had his back to Sans.  Sans was getting frustrated, but he took a deep breath and closed the small gap between them and rested his hands on Papyrus’ shoulders.

“We can try something else.  Getting upset is only going to make this harder.” Sans turned Papyrus around and smiled before taking a step back.  “Let’s work on just summoning your magic and then we’ll move onto focusing it into something else.”

You took a deep breath as you closed your eyes.

“Now, find the source of your magic and call to it.”

You could feel it.  Whatever Gaster had done before, you had felt this warm sensation at your core.  You could feel your very soul.  It had been a strange, yet familiar feeling.  Despite how close it felt inside of you, it was still so far out of reach.  It was like just out of reach of your fingertips.  No matter how far you stretched, it just wasn’t close enough.

Another frustrated grunt came from Papyrus and you couldn’t help but smile.  You were glad to know that Papyrus was having just as much trouble as you were.

“Saaans!”

Papyrus’ whine caused you to giggle.  Your focus was broken and you couldn’t help but open your eyes to see Papyrus flailing his arms around again in frustration.

“Paps, you’re still getting frustrated.  You’ll never get-”

Sans paused as magic flared from Papyrus’ eyes.  Blue rings appeared in the sockets of Papyrus’ skull and magic wisped into small trails as he moved his head.

“SANS!  I did it, Sans!” Papyrus cheered as he threw his hands into the air triumphantly.  

You sat still, watching the two and you couldn’t help but smile.  Papyrus had done it and a part of you had just become a little more frustrated at how easy it seemed for him.

“Not quite.” Sans folded his arms as Papyrus stomped his foot on the ground.

“I did it!  I called to my magic and it worked!  If something is wrong then tell me!”

Sans smiled as he nodded, “Alright, but you gotta _throw me a bone_.”

Papyrus groaned as he held his hand out in front of him and tried to summon a bone.  He grunted and flexed his small fingers as small sparks of magic illuminated from his fingertips.  You crawled off the rock and closed the distance between yourself and the two brothers.  Papyrus cried out as a burst of light blue magic shot out towards Sans.  Sans stood still as the magic passed through him.  Papyrus shook his hand, trying to stop the sparks of magic as he apologized over and over.

“I’M SORRY!” Tears welled up in his eyes as he whined softly.  Sans took another step closer and held Papyrus hand in his own.

“Calm down bro, I’m okay.” Papyrus took a deep breath and watched Sans as he spoke.  He nodded and pulled his hand away as he glanced towards the ground.

“Let me try to explain it so you can understand.”  Sans took a deep breath and held out his hand in front of him.  “Treat magic like it’s a fire.  Our emotions fuel that fire.  If you give it too much fuel at the start, you risk it going out of control.”  The white lights of Sans’ eyes disappeared as a single blue pupil reappeared.  Blue magic wisped from his socket and before him a bright white bone formed from his palm.  He grasped it tightly and carefully waved it in front of him.

“You make it look so easy…” Papyrus could only pout as he watched Sans wield the magic bone in his hands.  Sans chuckled and the bone disappeared as his eyes returned to normal.

“It will become second nature to you.  For now, try and find out what you want to fight for.  Once you have control over your magic, you’ll be able to fuel your magic and make it stronger to help you.”  Sans reached into his coat’s pocket and pulled out a pair brightly red gloves and slid them over Papyrus’ hands.  “It’s getting cold out, don’t want you to become _chilled to the bo_ -”

“SANS!” Papyrus called out and stomped his food.  A smile crept up onto his face regardless.  Sans could only laugh as he adjusted Papyrus’ coat.  After Papyrus’ playful tantrum he stilled and looked towards the ground.  “What do you fight for Sans?”

“I fight honestly.” Sans quick replied.  He looked up and focused on something distant beyond Papyrus.  Sans was lost in thought before Papyrus ran off and held out his gloved hands.  

Papyrus’ eye lights dimmed as he returned to focusing on Sans instructions from before.  You returned to your seat and took a deep breath as you closed your eyes once again.  You figured you’d try again.  

Thinking about how magic was similar to fire helped you imagine what happened earlier.  Your magic had only ever manifested when you were frustrated or frustrated like Papyrus’ was.  You did need to learn how to control this if you accidentally changed something it would affect the flow of time.  After all, you didn’t want to hurt anyone.

“Sans, why is attack magic so much harder to use compared to other magic?” Papyrus had at some point paused and turned back to face his older brother.   “Some of the kids at school use magic for all sorts of things.  You even pick up large things and disappear with yours.”

“Attack magic and utility magics are different. They’re not used the same way.  Different magic is used differently is all.” Sans held his hand out in front of him and a small rock not far in front of him followed the motions of his hand.

“But I don’t have magic like that…” Papyrus was quiet as he spoke.  He carefully watched Sans move the rock.

“Not all monsters do.  Some monsters can’t use attack or utility magic.  They have to use something else to funnel magic for them.  Like a conductor.”

“Con-duck-ter?” Papyrus repeated, clearly unfamiliar with the word.

Sans laughed, “Conductor.  I’ll show you how it works later.”

“But I’m like you, should I be able to do the same things?”

Sans stood quietly for a moment.  He carefully chose his words before he spoke, “There are some things we share, but our magic will always be different.”  When Papyrus didn’t cheer up, Sans stood there for a moment, trying to think of anything that would cheer up his younger brother.  “Hey…” Sans spoke quietly.  Papyrus looked up as Sans spoke, “So...I know you didn’t really know him...but Dad couldn’t use utility magic.”

A smile returned to Papyrus as he rushed over to Sans and latched onto his jacket.  “What else?  What else can you tell me about father?”

Sans nervously laughed and scratched the back of his head, “I dunno...I didn’t really get to see Dad use it.  He thought me what I’m trying to teach you now.”  Sans paused as Papyrus began to pout.  “Well...he did tell me one thing I forgot to tell you.”  Papyrus perked back up and waited eagerly for Sans to finish.  “He told me that with this type of magic, you have to intend to actually use it.  When you use attack magic, you need to understand that your action has heavy consequences…”

As you listened you could almost imagine Sans sitting in front of his father, and his fathering lecturing him on this.  He was part of the Royal Guard, after all, his duty was to protect the kingdom and it’s people, and he was also tasked to bring the human souls to the capitol.

Their father had lost their lives when they found the violet soul.

You reflexively gripped your shirt and soothed the saddening feeling welling up inside your chest.

“You need to prepare yourself to take responsibility.  This magic was designed to hurt others.  I’m teaching you this so you can run out and seek a fight.  No, I’m teaching you this so one day if you need to protect someone you love you can.  Fight for them.  In difficult times, it will keep you grounded and help you make the hard decisions you’ll be faced with.”  Sans took a deep breath as he looked fondly down at Papyrus.  Papyrus hung off of every word Sans had spoken and excitedly turned around.

You closed your eyes and took another deep breath.  A gentle nudge on your right side alerted you and you opened your eyes to sit in the blackness staring into the reflection of a thread.  You let out a quiet yelp as the blaster that had stayed by your side nudged you once again before nuzzling into you.

Maybe it was worried about you.  You relaxed when you did not hear any other sounds and reached over to gently rub the smooth bone on top of its snout.  The low rumble escaped from it and reverberated through you and you let out a soft chuckle.

“I’m okay.  Thanks for worrying.” You spoke softly.  For an instant, you wondered if Gaster had spoken to the blasters here as well.  You didn’t think on it long as you stood up and took a deep breath.  You needed to think.

Your magic wasn’t like the magic Sans was teaching Papyrus.  You weren’t using blue magic, your magic has always been purple.  What type of magic were you using?  Does shattering a thread count as an attack?  What about memories?

Memories were threads as well, and the ability to recall the correct thread was shoddy at best.  That would answer the question of why one person could remember an event differently than another.

You let out a whine in frustration.  All of this was complicated.  Too complicated.  You weren’t a technical person.  You were creative.  You loved art, you loved reading.  You’ve done very little of that at all lately.  

You shook your head and paced around the threads, looking from one to another.  You had more important things about.

_I’ll fix this._

Why did you promise that?  It’s true that you desperately wanted to fix everything.  You shouldn’t have promised it.  You stopped and pressed your hand to your chest and took a deep breath.  You could still feel the warmth of what you believed to be your soul burning within you.  It was right there.  So close, yet every time you called to it, it felt so far.  

The low growl from your blaster alerted you as you snapped out of your thoughts and looked around.  The blaster hurried to stand between you and the opposing threat.  It didn’t take long for you to realize that the small child sat atop a thread smiling wickedly down at you.  Their face still obscured by the black aura as their red eyes shown brightly at you.

The blaster at your side didn’t take long before the lights of its eyes shown brightly before a white beam escaped from its mouth towards the child.  The same echoing laughter filled the space around you as it echoed off the threads.  The last you saw of them before they disappeared behind the white beam of concentrated magic was their feet as they fell backward behind the thread.

When the beam disappeared and the space around you returned to silence you stood alert.  The blaster to your right let out another low growl as its eyes darted from left to right searching for the demon one more.

**_You’re not a monster._ **

You let out a startled scream as the child’s voice echoed quietly near your ear.  You stumbled forward as you quickly turned to see the small child floating behind you.  The blaster turned again and quickly readied another beam.  You saw the demon child hover in front of a mirror and quickly placed your hand on top of its snout.

“No!” You called out as the blaster turned away and fired its beam off into the air.  It continued to growl but looked up at you as you kept your hand on its snout.  The demon only laughed.  You expected it to attack you again, but it didn’t.  It spoke to you.  Maybe it would again.  “What do you want?” The same toothy wicked smile widen across their face as their eyes glowed brighter.

**_I want to get out._ **

“To get out?” They couldn’t mean they wanted you to get them out of the space between time.  “There isn’t a way out of here.” Why would you even let them out, to begin with?  “Haven’t you caused enough trouble anyway?”

**_Y o u ’ r e  l y i n g !_ **

You weren’t lying.  There was no way to get out.  That's what Gaster had told you.

Wait…

If he couldn't leave, how did he come to possess you?

The child’s grin widened.  Whatever face you had been making must have given some of your doubt away.

**_You were trying to learn how to use magic like a Monster.  If you want to use magic, then do what you intend to and just U S E  I T ._ **

_“____!”_

You turned on your heel to find the source of the voice.  You knew it was Gaster, and he probably was alerted by the stray magical beam your blaster had shot off earlier.  When you turned back to look at the child they were gone.

You didn’t flinch when you felt Gaster’s hand grip your left shoulder.  You turned to him as he looked around.

“Are you alright?  Did you find them?” Gaster’s eyes darted around you as he looked for the demon he had been trying to track down since you’ve awoken the first time here.

You noticed right away that Gaster’s eyes glowed brightly.  The first thing you noticed that you hadn’t seen before was that Gaster’s eyes no longer glowed purple when he was using his magic.  It was just a brighter white.

“I’m okay.  The blaster protected me.” You spoke quietly.  You were bothered by what they had told you.

Gaster lowered his hand and you felt his magic subside.  The blaster that had been guarding you had returned to your side wanting your attention once more.  

“I’m not a Monster…” You whispered those words to yourself as you placed your hand on the blaster once again.

“You will need to speak up if you were talking with me,” Gaster said as he took one final scan over the area.  “Did you learn anything from the thread?”

You looked up.  “Oh...sorry.  I was just thinking out loud.  They made a comment about me trying to learn how to use magic.”  You paused for a moment as you rolled the thoughts over in your head.  “Is using magic as a human different than how a Monster uses magic?”

Gaster didn’t respond right away.  He was focused elsewhere and he turned to look at you only after you cleared your throat.  “Theoretically it should be the same.  The humans that I have met that could use magic already did.  I was hoping that something would have made sense for you if you learned how a Monster uses magic.”

“How do you use our magic?  Sans was teaching Papyrus how to use blue magic.  It’s...I don’t think I can.” You watched as Gaster nodded and turned his back away.

“Violet magic is unique.  It applies to all aggressive magic we physically inflict upon a SOUL.  While Sans, Papyrus, and myself can turn another’s SOUL blue, only Sans and I can physically move the SOUL’s body.  Since we are not physically touching the SOUL, violet magic does not apply.  If I were to throw a magical attack at your SOUL, however, the violet magic would take effect and begin to slowly hurt the SOUL overtime.”  Gaster was lost in thought as he continued.  None of this was helpful for you.

You sighed in frustration as you turned and made your way through the threads.

“Where are you going?” Gaster’s voiced carried as he followed behind you.

“I’m going to see how Sans is doing.” You grumbled to yourself.

“Try not to be in there long.  You will come to find that it will do more harm than good.” Gaster’s words felt heavy as you turned to look back.  Gaster no longer stood where he was before and you could no longer see him.  

You understood what he meant.  You wanted to go home.  You didn’t want to be here.  Being in a thread seeing the ones you loved did take a toll on you.  You were relieved when you saw Sans was alive.

You raised your hand and took a deep breath.  All you wanted to do was see Sans.  You saw the threads shift before you.  When one stopped you didn’t hesitate and closed your eyes as you took a step forward.  

Your skin felt cool, and you could hear the sound of distant water running.  You heard shuffling of feet to your side before you felt a familiar hum.

**_I’m scared._ **

Your eyes snapped open and not far from the place you stood was Sans and Frisk.  Neither of the two looked happy.  Sans took a deep breath and pulled Frisk into a tight hug.

_“You got this kid.  You’ve done this before.  We’re gonna make it there again.”_

They must have been talking about the surface.  Frisk had reset, but you couldn’t understand why.

**_Sans I...I can’t LOAD.  I...I don’t want to die._ **

“LOAD?  What are you talking about?”

You didn’t understand what that meant.  For now, you ignored the first part of their statement and focused on the second.  Why were they afraid they were going to die?  In the nightmares, you recalled the demon fighting.  Did Frisk still have to fight?  Why would they have to fight?

The human SOULs…

You felt a chill run through your spine.  They only needed one more when Frisk fell.  You only realized that now.

**_Chara...Chara was the one who could RESET...I borrowed their magic to LOAD.  They RESET my SAVES.  That’s why we started from here again!  Sans...I’m afraid if I die...I won’t be able to LOAD anymore.  I’m afraid I-_ **

_“Whoa, whoa, there kiddo.  Take a deep breath.”_ You watched as Frisk cried silently as Sans knelt to the ground in front of Frisk. _“Look.  I’m not going to let that happen.”_

You listened as Sans talked about the things they would plan to do once they were free again.  Maybe they were things that they had done before.  You were stuck on what they said before.

_Chara was the one who could RESET._

Who was Chara?  Gaster had told you that Frisk was the one that could RESET time.  You didn’t think Gaster was lying.  Was the demon that was inside Frisk Chara?  Again, more questions you couldn’t answer and you felt your head begin to spin again.

_“We’ll visit the library and listen to ___ read-”_

You heard Sans’ voice hitch as he spoke your name.  You had forgotten, in the time that Sans is in now, you still haven’t met.

_“You remember her?”_

Frisk didn’t respond right away.  Their tears had subsided and they were eerily quiet.

_“Frisk?”_

**_I remember…_ **

There was a hint of hesitation there.

_“What’s wrong?”_

**_Was she the girl at the lab?_ **

_“Do you...remember why we were in the lab?”_

Frisk shook their head and you didn’t know what to think anymore.  Frisk didn’t know who you were.  Did that mean Papyrus, Undyne, and Alphys had forgotten you as well?

_“Do you remember Gaster?”_

**_We went to the lab because you wanted to know more about him...Does she have something to do with Gaster?_ **

Frisk didn’t remember meeting Gaster through you either.  What did that mean?  Gaster was forgotten after he fell into the CORE.  You fell into the CORE as well.  

In the back of your head, you suspected it.  You knew that it would probably happen.  No, you wanted it to happen.  You wanted to remove the demon that caused all those horrible things.  You didn’t regret it.  This way those horrible dreams could no longer happen.  You only wanted to protect Sans.

_“Not exactly kid…”_

You watched the pained look cross Sans face before he was able to force a smile.  He pulled away and took Frisk’s hand in his.

_“Come on kid, I’ll keep an eye on you when Undyne catches up with you.”_

You followed Frisk and Sans into a small room and watched as Frisk put on a smile and waved goodbye to Sans for now.

Your heart sank as you watched Sans.  When Frisk as left he took a seat close to the blue flower and pressed the palms of his hands into his face.  He let out a slow sigh and you wished you could do something for him.  You walked forward and took a seat on the other side of the flower.

_“Will I forget you as well?”_

Your head snapped to your side as you watched Sans’ shoulders sag.  The flower beside you echoed back and you watched as Sans looked to his side and sighed at the flower.  He placed his hand by his side and stared up at the ceiling of the cavern.  

You reached your hand over and held it over his hand.  You couldn’t feel him, but you hoped your sentiment would carry through.  It hurt your heart to see Sans in this state.  You honestly didn’t want to be forgotten.  You could be selfish about that, right?

Sans’ breath hitched and you felt your heart breaking.  Was being remembered worth causing Sans this much pain?  

Sans pulled his hand back and reached into his pocket to pull out the broken pendant.  He held the purple broken heart close and bowed his head as he sat quietly.

_Will I forget you as well?_

The flower echoed in the same broken-hearted tone as Sans said just a moment ago.  You placed your hand on the flower and closed your eyes.  Your heart ached.  You didn’t want Sans to hurt.

“I’m sorry I hurt you…” Your voice carried softly from you.  You felt helpless, you were here, yet not, stuck on the other side of this invisible wall.  You couldn’t comfort Sans.  You couldn’t take away his pain.  You made a promise you couldn’t keep.  You couldn’t fix this, you only made things worse.

_I̲’̦m᷆ s᷿orrỳ I̲ h̚ur̯t y̜o̖u.᷅.._

Your eyes snapped open as you heard your voice.  It was like listening to static and you gasped as you noticed the tips of your fingers illuminated brightly with your violet magic.

_..do what you intend to…_

Sans took to his feet and he took a defensive stance.

_“Who’s there!”_

You forced yourself to your feet and took a step forward.  You’d worry about your magic later.  A smile widened on your face as you rushed to his side.  He heard you.  That’s all that mattered.

“Sans!  Thank goodness!” Your excited smile turned to worry as Sans seemed to ignore you and search the room.

_“Show yourself!”_

He couldn’t hear you now.  What was different?  You looked around and spotted the flower.  The flower didn’t repeat what you said.  Were you too far away?  You didn’t want to but you took a few steps away from Sans and returned to the flower’s side.

“Can you hear me?” You spoke normally, hoping the flower would repeat your words.  It didn’t.  You decided to hold onto the flower.  You repeated the words and watched as your magic entangled itself around the plant and you heard the same, familiar, staticky noise echo from it.

_C̶a͠n̗ you h͖e̩a̭r͂ me?͛_

Sans jumped again as he turned to face the source of the voice.  He furrowed his brow as he couldn’t pinpoint anyway.  

_“Stop playing games!  Come out now!”_

_It'̲s m̡ë́,̢ _̩_ͪ_̎_̷.᷂_

You sat down beside the flower, afraid to leave it’s side and sever this connection you had made.

Sans flinched when he heard your name.  He looked around before he focused on the flower before him.  “____?” He whispered your name.  He was clearly skeptical as he took another step forward.

 _I̊t’s̬ ha͋rd̆ to e͑x̂pl͋a̷in͘.̞_  

_“Where are you?”_

_I͎’m̝ h̑e͔re.̜..ͯbut̶ no̩ț h᷃er͐e͟?᷄_

_“That doesn’t make sense.”_

You didn’t know how to explain it to him.  You didn’t even think you could actually speak to him.  You did _fix_ the other thread, though.  You want to fix this.  You _intend_ to fix this.

_That all depends on the intent of the human…_

You don’t know why you remembered Toriel’s words, but you kept hearing that word, “intent”.  What did it mean when it came to magic?  

_“Are you still there?”_

You snapped out of your thoughts and looked up to Sans.  He had returned to the flower, waiting to hear your response.

_I̛’̌m̚ h̙e̙r͒e̓.̟.̙.̄I̢’́m̶ s̾o͊r͟r͡ẙ,᷆ I͏ n̒eͥe͝d͊ t͐o̱ g͒o͍,͛ b̶u̅t᷄ I͞ wͯi̐l̾l͍ t̛rͫy͞ t̩o̙ tͨǎlͯk᷅ t͎o̥ ÿȏǘ a͓ǵa̓i̪nͦ.̝  I͜’ͬl̝l̿ f̷i̧g᷊ṷr̪eͨ sͨȍm̴ėt̉h̚i̶n͍gͫ oͭu᷀t͌.̻_

You had been talking so fast that the static came through louder than before.  You wanted to sit here and talk with Sans more, but you wanted a better way to do this.  You stumbled to your feet in excitement and turned to Sans.  You took a deep breath and tried to contain your excitement.

_D᷇o̴n’̬t l̑o̲s̨e̖ ho̹pe̅.᷄  I lọv͓ë́ yo̕u.ͅ_

You couldn’t wait to hear his response.  If you stayed longer you wouldn’t want to leave.  Something finally clicked.  You had to find someone you could talk to easily.  You only hoped that you would find Gaster first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This look a little longer than I wanted, but I'm finally happy with releasing it. 
> 
> Pathwork's first birthday came and went and I'm just amazed that so many people have read this and leave such wonderful comments and kudos. I read ever bookmark, comment, open every email that notifies me of kudos. I cherish the fanart, the people I've met. I wish I could convey it a lot better, but truly, I am grateful. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for checking out my fic and I hope you still continue to stick around until the end.
> 
> I have more Sans/Reader dialogue planned, just hold out!
> 
> If you didn't see, I wrote a Christmas themed fic featuring the skelebros being bros here:  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/8850082
> 
> For updates check out my tumblr: http://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	38. Finally Making Sense

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reference to suicide and death at the beginning of this chapter. Scene ends at: ~ * ~

The pain had stopped a while ago.  A soft hand was holding theirs but the feeling of it had long since numbed as their body grew colder with each passing moment.  The fear that gripped their heart ebbed away as their body lost its will to fight.  It wouldn’t be long before eternal sleep would overcome them.

Soft sobs echoed from the darkness they could easily recognize.  They couldn’t understand why he was crying, this was what they had planned for.  This was what the two of them had decided upon.  They were going to become something great.

_“Chara...Can you hear me?  We want you to wake up…”_

_“Chara!  You have to stay determined!  You can’t give up...  You are the future of humans and monsters…”_

The voices were heavy as they spoke.  It had felt like their head had been submerged in water.  All they had to do was let the relief of sleep overcome them, but they couldn’t.  Despite wanting this, knowing what’s to come, they still fought against it.  Drawing out the inevitable outcome.  No matter how much planning they had done.  Nothing they could have done could mentally prepare them for this.  Afterall…

_Nobody actually wants to die…_

The weight on the bed shifted and a warm arm wrapped tightly around their chilled body.  The feminine voice from earlier had begun to sob.  Her deep cries echoed in the darkness around them and soon the distant sound of heavy feet could be heard as the sobbing grew quieter.

_“…Chara…”_

He was still crying.  Their body shook as his warm hugged them tightly.  Normally, they would call him a crybaby but they no longer had the strength to do so.

_“Please...wake up...I don’t like this plan anymore.”_

They could hear his voice hitch with every sob he made.  They knew he didn’t like their plan, but he still helped.  He was still committed to this.  The warmth that was still left of them suddenly swelled with the emotions they thought they had finally overcome.  Was he changing his mind?  There was no turning back.  This was it!  How could he...

_“I… I…”_

He took a deep breath to calm himself.  As if sensing their fears, they were quickly put to rest.

_“... no, I said…  I said I’d never doubt you.”_

The boy paused again and the distant sounds of the woman still crying echoed in the darkness.  They grew softer and softer until the cries were barely audible.  They were growing weaker.  Any moment sleep would overtake them and everything that had planned could begin.

_“Six, right?  We just have to get six and we’ll do it together, right?”_

That’s right.  They planned to cross the barrier into the human’s world above Mount Ebott.  With theirs, all they needed was six more.  They would become the heroes.  As their Mother and Father had told them, they were both the future of humans and monsters...tonight that would become real.

**~ * ~**

You took a deep breath and stumbled on your feet as you left the thread.  You didn’t need to wait long as the blaster that had been following you around settled itself immediately at your side.  You didn’t waste time as you turned to it and tilted it to look up at you.

“Please, go find Gaster and bring him here.  This is important.” You spoke quickly.  Despite the silence that filled the space around you, you couldn’t settle down.  You need someone to talk to.  You needed someone who could answer you.  Honestly, you could have asked Sans, but you wanted to find a better way, an easier way to talk with him.

A sound stirred from behind you and you felt a heavy hand grip your shoulder.  A shaky breath followed shortly after that as a few large blasters floated in front of you.  You turned to see the owner of the two beasts and the hand weighing heavily on your shoulder.  A slow breath escaped your lips as your neck head tilted backward.

Since you woke up you had only seen Gaster a few times.  Everything here had been, no, still is overwhelming.  He was always at your back.  This was intimidating.   _He_ was intimidating.  You saw what he was capable of.  You saw who he was at the lab.  You had been scared, scared of his power, even now you are terrified.  The violet soul he held that day you could also hear and feel its pain in Gaster’s grip.  

“Is everything alright?” Gaster’s voice was shaking.  He was out of breath, and you couldn’t think of the last time he actually rested.  

You closed your good eye and nodded.  “I need to ask you a question about using magic.”

Faster chose not to speak, but it was clear that he was not alright.  His defensive stance he had taken as he kept careful watch around you had fallen.  You could see the light of his eyes dim and his voice was deeper and slower as he spoke.

“Do you not understand the situation we are in?”

It was a strange question, but no, you had no idea.  You balled up your fist and stood your ground.  “How am I supposed to know anything if you do not tell me?  Ever since I woke up you have left me alone.  Handed me off to something to keep me busy.”. You swallowed air and felt the pain in your chest tighten as your fingernails dug deeply into your palm.  “I know you are looking for that de-”

You paused.  Frisk’s words from earlier had clicked.

“Chara…”

Gaster stilled as you whispered the name.  A moment later your thoughts were jarred as Gaster's hands tightly gripped the side of your and shoulder.  You reflexively grabbed his hand that gripped your neck as you let out a strangled sound.  You gasped for air and your hand found its way to tightly grip the wrist of his hand and tugged at it.  You felt the coil of fear and anxiety tighten within you from the sudden shift in Gaster’s mood.

“How do you know that name?” The sound of a low growl echoed around you as Gaster spoke.

“Frisk!” You managed to force out.  You coughed and gasped for air as Gaster’s gripped loosened.  You took a few steps away and rubbed the spot Gaster's fingers had dig into.  You didn't take your eye off of him.  He realized what he had just done and you could see the darkness leave him.  The blasters that were on guard behind him stilled as Gaster waved his hand.  A silent command was issued for them to stand down.

“That name...do try not to speak it again.” There was no apology in his words as he spoke.  He cleared his throat and turned his attention back to you.  “I found a thread that would teach you by repetition-”

“I am not a monster!” You didn’t want to provoke Gaster about Chara.  You had other means of finding out about Chara.  For now, you would get the information you needed about magic.  “I know I said it before and I know you said it was possible for me to learn how to use it.”  You took a deep breath as you collected your thoughts.  “Does it matter how you use your magic?”

Gaster let out a soft sigh as he laced his fingers together.  “If you mean the fundamentals of using one type of magic to the next it just depends on what type of magic you mean.  You will need to elaborate if you would like to receive a better-suited answer to your question.”

You let out an annoyed whine as you listened to him.  Gaster was clearly upset but you didn’t care.  “I don’t want to hurt anyone.  Do you have to want to hurt someone to use magic?”

“The short and simple answer is yes,” Gaster spoke the words you were afraid he would respond with.  You really didn’t want to hurt anyone.  You didn’t notice until it was too late as Gaster held out his hand on the familiar weightless feeling came over you as you felt yourself being lifted into the air.  “As of right now, this does not hurt, correct?”  Gaster did not wait for your response before you felt yourself collide with the floor.  “That may have caused you some discomfort.  Keep in mind that the same effort to lift you off the ground is the same as the effort I put into forcing you to the floor.  As of right now, I do not want to cause you injury, however, if I did wish to harm you, the force applied would be much more intense.”

You fought against his magic to force yourself to onto your elbow.  You glared up him only to see the corner of his mouth twitch.  He was clearly enjoying this.  You chose to not provoke him further as you watched as he held out his other hand.  You felt the pressure holding you to the ground release you as a familiar magical weapon appeared in his open palm.  The white bone floated effortlessly over the palm of his hand before he sent it sailing through the air towards you.  You yelped and pushed yourself off the ground only to feel the pressure of his magic weigh you down.  You couldn’t move as you watched the bone get closer before it suddenly turned to a bright blue and passed through you.

“Magic doesn’t always need to be directly applied to other living beings.” The pressure was once again lifted from you as Gaster spoke.  You quickly collected yourself and pushed yourself to your feet.

“I do not appreciate being used as an example in this!” You whined as you let out a frustrated groan.

“Does this satisfy your question or do you require a more-”

“No!  I am good!” You refused to let Gaster have any more satisfaction from this.  “I got it now…”  You were relieved when he lowered his hands and turned to one of his blasters.  

“If you find them, please do not hesitate to send for me.”  With those words, Gaster disappeared into the pitch black space around you.  You let out a frustrated yell as you rubbed your neck and stretched out your aching joints.  You still couldn’t bring yourself to stay mad at him for too long, however.  He still hated you.  It was a terrible feeling, but you could understand why he was frustrated.  

You felt the smaller blaster gently nudge your time and you let your hand fall to gently rub the smooth bone on its snout.  Gaster has always been a jerk.  He was envious of the time you wasted isolating yourself from everyone as you grew up.  Gaster, however, was forced into isolation when he came to this place.

Both of you were involved in terrible accidents.  Both of you should have been killed, but neither of you was.  The fire and his fall left both of you stripped of the lives you lived before.  Neither of you asked for this.  You weren’t trying to justify Gaster’s actions or his attitude for you.  You couldn’t imagine being forced to stay here, stuck between time witnessing your family and friends growing and living in a world you couldn’t be a part of.  That you never existed in.  

Gaster lost more than just his time.  He was forgotten…

This is why you couldn’t bring yourself to hate him, but every fiber of your being could be upset with him.  He wasn’t heartless after all.  He’s kept an eye on you and has protected you from the demon...Chara...after all.

You took a deep breath and held out your hand.  You calmed your thoughts and recalled the moment the threads corrected themselves and showed you that Sans was, in fact, alive.  You slowly opened your eyes and saw the thread in front of you and didn’t hesitate before you stepped inside and found yourself standing at the edge of the rope bridge from before.

You felt the same warmth from within as you collected yourself.  Snowdin was cold, the forest before Snowdin was especially cold, but you could only feel the warmth radiating from your soul.  You reached out and grabbed the rope on the bridge and carefully walked along the creaky boards to catch up to Sans.

You eventually caught up to Sans as you retraced the same trail you took when you first arrived outside of Snowdin.  You recalled the tall trees from when you fell and lost track of yourself for a moment before you heard the familiar sound of snow crunching underfoot.  You looked back up to see Frisk come to a stop on the opposite side of the bridge.

“Did you have something to do with this?”

You were taken aback by the tone in Sans’ voice that you have never heard him use towards Frisk.

**You remember?**

You steal a glance at Sans and reflexively gripped the collar of your shirt.  That’s right.  This was the thread created right after you corrected the previous thread.  This was the thread you had created.  This would be the first time Sans had seen Frisk since the lab.  You couldn’t help but bite your lip.

**Sans...I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to reset...I meant to load before we met up with ____.**

Wait...didn’t Frisk remember you?  The thought didn’t worry you long before you held your breath as Sans rushed forward.  Your worry was set aside when Sans pulled the small crying child into his arms and hugged them tightly.

“Kid, you had me scared.”

His relief made you finally relax.  You were being silly, you saw the two of them later after all.  Time was far too confusing to keep track of if you weren’t paying attention.  You were brought out of your thoughts when Frisk ran by you and hid behind an oddly placed lamp.  You didn’t understand until you turned around and found yourself feet away from Papyrus.  You couldn’t help but smile.

“Sup bro?”

Papyrus looked rather annoyed, but you could see that beneath that he was trying to control a smile.  You couldn’t help but giggle as the two bantered back and forth.  Sans tossed around a few of his puns and you couldn’t help but feel all the terrible feelings that weighed heavily in your soul just melt away.

You loved these two.  No, you loved them all.  You loved Frisk, Toriel, Undyne, and Alphys as well. You wanted to spend more time with Undyne and Alphys.  Sitting on the couch watching movies with Papyrus, shopping with Alphys and Undyne, spending the holiday with Toriel and Frisk...you thought fondly of those memories.  You felt determined more than ever to make sure you set things right for them.

Before you even realized it, Papyrus had hurried off and Frisk not too far behind them.  You approached Sans and hesitated before placing your hand on his shoulder.  You just couldn’t stand to see the grim expression that he wore.  When your hand touched his shoulder Sans gasped.  You quickly pulled your hand away as you watched as Sans turned around and searched the clearing.  You didn’t understand what he was looking for before he cut a hole in the space before him and quickly stepped through.  He was gone before you could even open your mouth.  Sans was gone, there was no one else left here to observe.  Why wasn’t the thread resetting itself?

“You’re not supposed to be here.”

The familiar happy sing-song voice chimed up behind you that made your blood run cold.  You instantly turned and took a few steps back to see the familiar yellow flower only feet away in the snow behind you.

No...there’s no way he was talking to you.  You were just being silly.

“It’s not like anyone else is here.  Are you really that much of an _idiot_?” The happy sing-song tone quickly dropped as Flowey stared right through you.

“How?” You manage to squeak out.  How, how could Flowey see you when Sans couldn’t?  “How is this-”

“It seems you’re not as _stupid_ as the others then.” A menacing smile curled upon his face before Flowey disappeared into the ground.  You searched quickly, not wanting to be surprised by him.  You thankfully found him not too far away from where you were.  His menacing smile never leaving his face as he continued, “What happened to Frisk?”

“To Frisk?” You repeated.  You thought back to a few moments ago and to the previous thread you visited.  Something was off with Frisk, however, you knew that from the other thread which had happened later from the time in this thread currently.  There had to be some kind of taboo right?

You already interacted with Sans.  Were you able to talk with Flowey now because of that?

“No.  I’m asking because there is nothing off with Frisk.   **I D I O T** …what a _stupid_ question.  I believe I was mistaken.  Maybe you are like the others.” Flowey had vanished underneath the snow once again.

“I don’t know who else you are talking about, but I don’t know how to explain about Frisk-”  You jumped as you heard their voice closer from behind you.

“Frisk promised me they would never reset again!  They promised me their happy ending!  Their soul is lighter now!  You and that smiley trash bag were with them last.” Flowey seemed to realize something as their head tilted to the side.  “The smiley trash bag is different as well.  Why is it that the two of them changed after they found you in Snowdin?”

You didn’t have an answer for him.  You slowly took a step back from Flowey only to feel something wrap around your foot.  When you looked down you saw a vine tightly wrapping itself around your ankle.  You tried to kick it off but you froze as you heard Flowey’s bone chilling voice.

“I should have killed you when you fell!”  The flower’s face twisted and became black as it’s laughter screeched and echoed around you.  

You curled up on yourself as everything you knew came pouring out, “Someone attacked Sans using Frisk!  I...I saw what happened before!  They used Frisk to kill Sans...no...they killed everyone!  I didn’t want that to happen!”  You had hoped your ramblings would stop Flowey from attacking you.  When you finally looked up, you saw Flowey’s face not far from yours, a twist of anger and something else could be seen on his face.

“Someone used Frisk?” Out of everything you just said, he seemed to be caught on this.  For a moment, you thought he would back off, no longer intent on going through with his desire to kill you, but you were wrong.  You couldn’t help but let out a yelp as you felt a vine coil around yourself tightly.  “Do not lie to me!”  Flowey let out another round of laughter that echoed upon itself.  “Stupid!  How many times do you think Frisk actually killed them?  Your precious _smiley trash bag_?  They fooled you all!  I knew the real Frisk would get bored of being a goodie two shoes.  They-”

“It wasn’t Frisk!  It was Chara!” You cried out as loud as you could.  Frisk could never hurt anyone.  You refused to believe all those terrible nightmares...threads...whatever you witnessed were all just the demon...Chara.

“ **H o w  d o  y o u  k n o w  t h a t  n a m e ?**   _How_ would someone with a _shattered soul_ know that _name!_ ”

You closed your eyes and begged.  Begged to be taken away from the thread.  You thought of Sans, reached for any moment you could and felt a pain in your chest as the vines that constricted you disappeared.

You felt yourself stumble forward and felt a smooth floor below you.  No more snow, no more Flowey.  You finally opened your eye and took in the site around you.  This place was familiar to you.  It was darker.  Chairs were stacked on the tables as well as the overhead lights were dim.  The only light, the only warmth came from the back of the room.  As you pushed yourself to your feet you could see where you were.

This was Grillby’s.  The small family restaurant and bar that Sans had taken you too.  When Grillby came out of the backroom you weren’t surprised.  You felt the pain in your chest finally subside as you took a few steps forward.  You were more focused on the smaller monster that sat with his back to you at the bar.  Something caught the light and you watched as the familiar purple heart spun on the counter top.  San’s shoulders sagged as he let out a soft, sad, sigh.  Grillby placed a small red bottle next to Sans and Sans looked up from the pendant to acknowledge the flame monster.

“Thanks, Grilbz.”

You came to stand side Sans, taking a good look at his face.  The eye lights in his eyes were dim.  He looked tired, and his usual smile felt somewhat sadder to look upon.  Sans let the broken chain of the pendant rest beside the purple pendant before tucking his hand under his chin.  Grillby lightly tapped the bar in front of the pendant and Sans glanced back over to it again.

“This?  It was a gift.”

You watched as Sans picked up the bottle that reminded you of ketchup before tipping it back to swallow a few its contents.  He set the bottle back down and looked passed Grillby as he spoke.

“Remember the human I brought by?”  Grillby only nodded and there was a moment of what you considered silence but Sans seemed to be listening to something you couldn’t understand.  “Yeah...sorry...try not to take it personal.  She’s...a bit difficult…”

You knew he was talking about you.  You hadn’t been very kind to Grillby.  Sans had your broken pendant, though.  You thought back to when this event could have taken place.  It was before Gaster had made his way into your lives.  Your attention returned to Sans as he placed his hand in his upturned palm and leaned against the countertop.

“It’s not like she’ll probably ever come back here…”  There was a pause before he seemed to catch himself.  “I mean...because of me, not you Grillbz.”  Sans groaned turned his head to hide his eyes in the palm of his hand.  “I’ve messed up...big time.”

You watched as Grillby set his cloth aside and gave Sans his full attention.  He leaned onto the bar and Sans looked up from his hand wearing a guilty expression.

“I scared her.  Not just that, I attacked her.”

You finally placed the time this event had occurred.  Sans had run off to Grillby’s bar after the incident with his nightmare.  You remembered how scared you were, and you felt guilty as you saw how torn up he was about all of this.  

You just wanted him to be okay.  In this thread, you were at home worrying that Sans wouldn’t return home.  

_You could do something…_

Gaster said that you didn’t have to use your magic on people.  Maybe you could test the waters here where it wouldn’t hurt anything.  You looked around for anything that could maybe relay a message.  Out of the corner of your good eye, you did notice something sticking out of Sans pocket.

_His cell phone…_

That could work.  You took a deep breath and reached out for the small device.  You held your hand just above where the object was and focused your attention on it.  Your eye closed as you felt the warmth at your core.  This magic, your magic, was right there.  It was close but felt so far away from you at the same time.

Your breath hitched.  You were scared.  You had always been scared.  What if you couldn’t control it?  Everything that your magic has touched so far has broken, shattered.

_“Remember that your soul is the source of your magic and your soul is the embodiment of the nonphysical elementals of yourself.  Do not feed into the fear.”_

_“Your magic is responding to your agitated state.  Calm down or-”_

You took a deep breath.  Gaster's words echoed in the back of your mind and you finally understand what he had been saying.  Your magic has always been reacting to how you felt.  Fear, impatience, anger, grief… All of it negative emotions you had been feeling had fed into your magic.

When Gaster grabbed onto Sans’ soul and brought the two of you along memory lane you remembered how frustrating it was.  You remembered the pain and the confusion and how you just wanted it all to stop.  Your magic shattered the memories.  The pain went away as the jumbled memories returned to normal.  Your magic had responded to you.

The night Gaster attacked you and he finally returned to the space between time, you were afraid.  You didn’t want to die.  You wanted your life back, your soul.  Your magic forced him out.  You were left with a black crystal like object that you had kept ever since.  

The thread of the lab.  You shattered it in anger.  You were furious with how helpless you were.  You were the one that spoke to you.  The pain you had felt was probably your magic.

This time, however, you took a deep breath and forced your fear away.  You had a promise to keep and you were tired of sitting on the sidelines and playing the helpless victim.

_I am not made Sans...please...just...I hope you’re okay…_

Sans’ cell phone chime startled you.  You saw him bring up his messaging app and couldn’t help but smile as you finally got to see the picture Papyrus had mentioned.  Sans really did have a picture of you sleeping with your art pad.  You don’t know when he could have taken it but that didn’t matter.  You looked down to your hand and couldn’t help but smile.  You saw the familiar purple magic whisp over your fingers and you couldn’t contain your excitement.  

_Did it work?_

Sans scrolled through the messages and you smiled as you saw the following messages.

**_I’m sorry._ **

**_Please come home._ **

You remembered how you sat together with Papyrus on the couch when you wrote those messages.  You felt terrible, still shaken up after what happened.  Sans was gone, he wouldn’t respond to either you or Papyrus.

Sans, on the other hand, looked terrible.  You wanted to reach out to him and comfort him.  It surprised you when he laughed and stared at his phone in disbelief.

“I can’t say I was expecting that…  Even now, she is apologizing to me when she didn’t do anything wrong.”

Your heart sank.  Your magic hadn’t worked.

“Now...who is this from.”  Sans’ sigh brought your attention back to his phone and out of your worrying thoughts.  There was an unknown message and as he opened the message the screen glitched.

**_Ī̦̄ h̄ōp̄ē̥̄ ̗̄᷉̄̈̄̄ͨ̄ͅȳōū'̄r̄ē ō̼̄᷃̄k̄āȳ̋̄.̄.̄.̄_ **

You couldn’t contain your excitement as you squealed.  It had finally worked...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year...and only 22 days late into saying that.
> 
> A lot of unexpected things came up and put me off from writing for a while. The Christmas season has always been a terrible time for me. This Christmas, however, I was met with some news that shook me up pretty hard. Six years ago my grandmother died from cancer. I didn't handle it well back then, and I still have trouble dealing with it now. The week before Christmas I ate dinner with my family and maybe a day or two after I posted chapter 37 I got the news that another one of my family members had cancer.
> 
> I've been struggling with it privately and I just couldn't focus on writing for a few weeks. The last day I gave a small update when I said I was halfway through writing this chapter was literally when I started writing it again. I did write half the chapter, and I knew in my head where I was going. Granted, there was still one more thing I wanted to add to this chapter but I didn't want to feel the need to cut anything because the chapter was already getting kinda long.
> 
> Either way...your lovely comments kept a smile on my face through these hard times and I can never thank you guys enough. I'll see you guys again soon with another update.


	39. Don't Let Go

“What in the world?”

You couldn’t have been happier.  There it was, a message you felt you obviously left.  Out of the corner of your vision, you notice Grillby pick up the broken pendant and left the counter to return to the back room. 

When Sans was done fiddling with his phone he shoved it back into his pocket.  Grillby returned to the front of the bar shortly and held out his hand to Sans.  Sans held out his hand to Grillby, questioning what it could be but trusting him all the same.  You were surprised to see your pendant fall into Sans’ open palm.  The chain never looking like it had snapped before.

“Thanks, pal.  I owe ya.”  Sans said quietly as his thumb gently caressed the small heart.  A moment later he hopped down from the chair and gave Grillby a small wave.  “I’ll catch you later...time for me to head home.” 

Grillby had returned to his cleaning and Sans cut a door through the world once again and disappeared into the space between time.  You turned to look back at Grillby and smiled.  You would have to thank him later.  You turned back to the door and hurried through as Sans had begun to close it behind him.

When your feet touched the solid ground once again you took a moment to collect yourself.  It had felt like ages since you had seen your own home.  It was dark, almost cold.  You had finally begun opening up to the brothers.  Papyrus and you talked on the couch to your left.  You ate dinner in the small dining room on your right.  Not too much further in front of the dining room was the tiny kitchen.  The hallway was straight down the middle, two bedrooms and a tiny bathroom on the left and on the right was the laundry room, your bathroom, and your room at the very end.  

The room across the hall, Sans’ room, was still lit by its bedroom light.  You had forgotten that you were still in the room, probably fast asleep at this moment. 

“Papyrus?”  There was a pause before Sans called out your name.  When only silence returned his answer Sans shrugged and shoved his hands into his pockets.  He looked relieved and you felt a small twinge of guilt in the pit of your stomach.  “Guess it’s just met.”  

Sans didn’t take long before he started to head back towards his bedroom.  It took him even less time to notice the light coming from his bedroom.  You followed after him as he opened his bedroom door and turned off his light.  The familiar glow of his blue magic illuminated the room as he removed his jacket and tossed it to the floor.  He let out a stifled yawn as he kicked off his shoes and plopped down on his bed.  He grabbed his blanket and gave it a tug.  It wouldn’t budge and he turned to see the lump laying in the middle of his bed.  You couldn’t help but smile as a grin stretched across his face.

A moment later he was straddling the lump in the middle of his bed and grabbed the top of the covers.  “Papyrus, you better not be sleeping in my bed again!”  The grin he wore didn’t hide the slight frustration in his voice.  He did look pretty tired after all.  Sans didn’t wait for a response and you jumped at how fast you popped up from the bed.  You listened to yourself cry out in surprise before you turned away as you heard the dull ‘thunk’ of the two of your heads colliding.  

You closed your eyes and scrunched your nose.  You had forgotten about this, and you felt the heat rise in your face.  This was embarrassing, and you couldn’t help but turn and chuckle as you watched Sans’ grin turn to a startled daze.

You decided to leave this moment here, you wanted to find something else that you could test your magic out on.  You needed something solid, something that you couldn’t deny if you caused a change to happen or not.

You left the bedroom and returned to the living room.  This was the memory in the thread of time.  You only needed to speed it along to find something.  You only took a moment as you held up your hand and concentrated.  You felt you needed to close your eye but you chose to watch as time sped up around you.

It felt like you were watching a documentary.  The ones where the camera focuses on a scene and you can tell the rise and fall of the sun each day.  Papyrus and Frisk returned home, the two of them seemed to be looking around the house and you spot, for a moment, the two discovering Sans and yourself sleeping in his bed.  You felt the tops of your ears heat up and you felt the new wave of embarrassment.  You didn’t have time to dwell on it as you saw the Papyrus and Frisk play around the house. 

There must have been a knock at the door as Papyrus ran over to it and opened it to your new guests.  Undyne and Alphys walked in and greeted the two happily.  Undyne had hooked her arm around Papyrus’ neck and pulled him down to give him a noogie.  They all looked happy before a mischievous smile curled over Undyne’s lips.  You had forgotten that Undyne and Alphys also caught you sharing Sans’ bed for a totally innocent nap.

If you were ever able to return to this house, you would try to remember to install locks.  You were about at the limit of embarrassment before you watched the scene around you change.  You, Alphys and Undyne sat at the couch and Papyrus and Frisk disappeared to his room.  Sans popped out of his bedroom once before returning to it and later on the three of you girls left to your room. 

After the sun had set Sans came out from his room to turn on the T.V.  It was a little while longer before you left your room and joined him on the couch.  Sans did something with his magic and a pillow and blanket came out of his bedroom as he offered them to you on the couch.  You smiled as you watched Sans and yourself.  You had never actually seen yourself smile or laugh.  You hadn’t seen the warm expression Sans wore on his face as you laughed.  He was looking at something, probably your soul.

You felt your cheeks flush but this time, not from embarrassment.  A smile etched its way across your face and you felt a warmth in your chest.  You wished you had seen him make these expressions at the time.  You never really looked at Sans before.  You never paid attention to how he looked at you, how he treated you.  You would be sure to make things right so you could return to him.

There was no way you wouldn’t let yourself return to this house you made a home out of with him.

You closed your eyes and bit back the sentimental tears you felt brimming over your eye.  When you caught your breath you felt you could continue to search what you had been looking for.  You needed to find something to change, something you could react to.

You saw movement at the dining room table and saw Sans and Toriel talking quietly between the two of them.  You didn’t remember Toriel coming over.  You must have left with Alphys and Undyne already.  You forced time ahead and you watched as the rest of the household left.  

You jumped as you saw Sans and Yourself sudden appear through a door not to far from your right.  You took a few steps back as you watched as he helped you to sit.  You remembered this night.  This marked the time Gaster followed you back through from the space between time.

You watched yourself get up from the couch only to return what felt like seconds later wearing comfy PJs.  The two of you sat on the couch and talked when suddenly you saw yourself stand up and approach Sans.  You watched as you saw yourself make the initial first move and actually kiss Sans.  You could see the determined, yet growing embarrassment on your face before you rushed off down the hall.  You turned to peak at Sans and saw the familiar cyan blush light up his cheeks.  A warm smile stretched across his lower jaw as he got up and walked off towards his own room.

You only wished you had seen that expression for yourself when it actually mattered.  No, you would get the chance to see this for yourself.  You were going to give yourself this.  You were going to be selfish one more time and think of yourself.  You deserved this small piece of happiness.  You had to show Sans that you were still worth it.

You forced time onward.  The night turned into morning and at some point in the night Papyrus had come home and gone to bed.  Sans had returned to the living room once the morning sun had risen.  He turned back towards your room before turning and leaving the small home.  It was only a few minutes later until Papyrus came out of his room.  He peered into Sans’ room before grabbing what looked like a list from the fridge and leaving the small home.  A few minutes, probably hours, later you came stumbling out of your room.  You watched yourself call out to the empty house.  It wasn’t long before Papyrus returned home and you latched yourself onto him.

The nightmares...the ones where your friends started being killed.  They started today.  Even though after seeing the nightmares constantly, after seeing all your friends die one by one, it was draining.  You had become numb to them after a while but you had never wanted them to continue.  Knowing now that you were actually seeing alternate timelines made your stomach flip again.  

You shook the thoughts from your head as you watched yourself return from what may have been a shower dressed in a dark red turtleneck sweater.  Papyrus had just finished making spaghetti and had set it down on the table for you.

It wasn’t long before Sans returned through the front door.  He closed the door and walked over to the back of your chair and you could tell by the smile he wore that he was attempting to tease you again.  Whatever Sans had said got Papyrus to leave and he turned to pull a chair up next to you.

_ Slow… _

The time around you returned to its normal passing.  Sans had taken his seat and turned you to face him.  Your hand held gently in his.

“I’m going to be completely honest with you kid, I don’t have a  lot to offer you.”

You couldn’t help but smile.  You couldn’t help but think how awkward you had been.  You finally took the initiative and approached Sans.  You didn’t wait or let him just pass through your life.

“The day Frisk, Alphys, and Undyne stayed over...the reason I was in your room...I was looking for the pendant you gave me.  I’m sorry Sans...I lost it…” 

You knew you didn’t lose the pendant now.  There’s a lot of things you know now that you didn’t.  You wanted to listen more but a glint of light flashed from Sans’ pocket as you spied the blue pendant.

_ Wait… _

It wasn’t blue today.  No, you clearly remember the pendant being purple today.  Sans leaned back in his chair, obscuring your view of the pendant as he let out an amused laugh.

“You don’t need to worry about that.”

“I do!  You gave it to me...it’s...special…”

Sans reached out and gently cupped your hand in his as he calmed your past self.  “Don’t worry about it.  I get it.  I actually had it.  You threw it at me after all.  The chain snapped and I needed to have that fixed.”

“I’m sorry!”

You were always quick to apologize.  

_ Pause… _

Time froze with the two of you sitting at the table.  You let out a deep sigh as you approached Sans.  It was harder to see, but you could still see the pendant in his pocket.  You took in this moment, not wanting to forget it.  You held out your hand and mouthed an apology as you reached into the spot where Sans’ pocket was.  Your hand phased through, and you were actually going through his pockets, but part of you felt doing this was wrong.

You took a deep breath before closing your eyes and tried concentrating on the small pendant before you.  You wanted it to change, wanted it to match the color you saw that night.  As you felt your magic extend from the tips of your fingers you felt a small twinge of pain at your core.  You jerked your hand away and clutched your shirt close to your chest.  You drew a sharp breath and squeezed your eyes tightly as you let the small wave of pain pass.

_ What was that? _

You would have to check with Gaster later.  Something felt off.  You finally pried your good eye open and checked on the pendant, you could see the familiar blue and you smiled despite the pain.  Whatever you were doing, it was working.  You took another deep breath and willed time to continue.

You placed your hand on the back of Sans’ chair as you held yourself steady.  The pain from earlier did not go away as you listened to Sans and yourself make puns back and forth to each other.

“Can...can I see my soul?”

That caught your attention.  You forced yourself to look up and bear with the pain as you saw Sans shift in his seat. 

“You said it’s made of the...non physical things...like emotions and such…  I want you to see how serious I am about us?”

You could hear how nervous you were while listening to the higher octave at the end of your statement.  You would laugh, but for now, it was becoming hard to breathe.  

“I believe you’re serious.”

You watched as you pulled your hand out of Sans’.  You gave him a stubborn glare before you caught yourself giving him more of a puppy dog stare.

“Please...I want to see it.”

Sans sighed, but he relented and held up his hands to call forth your soul.   “Just for a minute then.”  There was a moment and you held your own breath as you saw your soul from his perspective for the first time.

“Wow…”  You and Sans both said at the same time.

“What?  Is something wrong?”  You heard yourself pause, “It...It’s so bright.”

You could hear the panic rising in your voice, but you couldn’t look away.  You don’t remember seeing your soul look so pretty.  It was bright, looking at it, you could feel a warmth you didn’t know it was emitting before.  You saw the sudden shift in hue as it darkened with what you imagined was your fear before you calmed down and the brightness returned to it once again.

You tore yourself away to glance back up at Sans.  Sans was staring at your soul.  You wish you could understand what monsters could see at that moment.  The dopey smile he wore, the fondness in his expression, it was something you missed.  He was looking at something you couldn’t see, something between the lines.  His eyes finally flicked up towards yours as he spoke.

“It is.  You really don’t play fair, kid.”

“Don’t call me kid…I’m not a child.  Call me anything else...but that…”

You could see the smirk twitching at the corner of his mouth as his eyes glanced between you and your soul.  “Got it, how about hun?”

You saw yourself blush and watched as your soul glow even brighter.  “I would be okay with that…”

Sans never really did call you that, though.  You smiled as you watched Sans outline the edges of your soul.  You didn’t understand why he always did that,  but you noticed something as his hand reflected the colors of your soul.  There was something blue mixed in.  You took a steadying breath as you stood up from leaning on the back of his chair to try and get a better look.

As you stepped closer to lean against the table between Sans and yourself, you could see the subtle blues that mixed well with the color of your soul.  You glanced back towards Sans and he was staring at your soul again, at the blue.

You close your eyes and try to focus on your own soul.  It hurt, YOU hurt, but underneath the pain, you could feel a familiar warmth that you hadn’t noticed before.  This warmth, that you never needed to look for, you could feel it.  It was like a gentle embrace.  It was reassuring, gave you courage.  It felt safe.

_ Sans… _

You could recognize it.  Every time he held your soul in his hands you had always felt safe.  His magic was warm, protective.  You focused as you tried to search for any other lingering feeling.  After all, Gaster had wrapped his own magic around your soul.  You were relieved when you felt nothing.  Gaster’s magic was cold.  It kept you on edge.  He was a shadow who harbored jealousy and hate.  It fed into you slowly until you finally snapped at Sans.

You took a deep breath, reminding yourself that he was no longer there.  Only the small trace of Sans, the mark, remained.

“Don’t...don’t do that…”

You were brought out of your thoughts as you steadied yourself on your feet.  You watched as your hand held one of his to pull it closer to your soul.  

“It’s fine…”

You held your breath as you paused the time in this thread once more.  Sans’ fingers were nearly touching your soul and you could only stop and smile before you turned to face yourself.  You know that just changing the color of the pendant wouldn’t work.  You know that you suddenly recognized this, now blue, pendant as if it were the original.  You, here and now, must have forced this change.

_ If only I realized then I was playing with the flow of actual time.  _

If you actually stood there and thought about this it would probably make your head spin.  You swallowed a breath of air and bit your lower lip to push back the tearing pain in your chest.  When you felt it settled enough you held out your hand towards yourself and closed your eyes again.  You felt the warmth of your magic extend from the tips of your fingers.

_ My pendant...it’s blue. _

You never intended to use this magic on anyone.  You only felt safe to use it on yourself now since you were still standing here.  Nothing had to of gone wrong…

But something did…

The pain at your core flared up to the point you couldn't even breath.  You heard yourself gasp and you heard Sans say something before you realized time had started again.

You weren't able to remain in control.

You stumbled back to lean against the wall as your vision returned.  You gasped for air as the pain threatened to tear you apart.  You let out a whimper as you leaned back against the wall.  Your legs shook and at any moment you feared your legs would give out under your own weight.

“Hey...no tears.”

You looked up to see Sans steadying the you of this thread near the table.  Your mind raced as you tried to remain focused.  Did you mess up?

“I’m...I’m not crying.  I’m...I’m happy.”

You watched as Sans wiped away your tears then reach into the pocket the pendant was in.

You forced yourself to stand properly and tightly gripped the collar of your shirt as pushed back the pain.

“Here, this belongs to you.”

The look on Sans’ face was clear to you.  You messed up.  He knew.  You squeezed your eyes shut and let out a whimper.  The pain in your chest hurt too much, you couldn’t repeat this again.

“I’m glad it wasn’t lost…”

At least you got yourself to believe it.  You opened your good eye once again in time to see yourself head back off towards your room for the night and Papyrus come out from his room.  Papyrus saw the plate full of spaghetti on the table before scolding Sans about not letting you eat.  

“Hey, do you remember the pendant I gave ____?”

“You mean the heart?  I haven’t seen her wear it recently.  She hasn’t been wearing it the last couple of days.”

Your breath hitched again as you guessed where this question was going to lead.  You bit back the pain once more and tried to focus one last time to pause the thread.  With each second that passed felt like you were falling apart.  You beckoned your magic one more time and begged it to correct the error you overlooked.

_ Make it blue...it was blue… _

With the last ounce of strength you could muster before falling to your knees you felt your magic you hoped it was enough.  The sound of shattering glass rung out around you as a cold sweat overtook you.  You gasped for air once more as time continued forward.  You doubled over and grabbed at your neck with a trembling fist.  You felt the floor beneath you give way as you fell through the darkness.  

You never did hear if you fixed the error you created.

_ Sans… _

In your fall you recalled the warmth and comfort that his magic gave you.  You focused on that as your consciousness drifted.

**~ * ~**

Sans stood back and watched as Mad Dummy concluded and Frisk met with Napstablook.  Sans had kept out of sight from Undyne easily earlier, but as he continued deeper into Waterfall it would be harder the closer he got to her home.  Sans leaned against the pile of trash in relief, taking a moment to catch his breath and regain his strength since Frisk was no longer in danger.

After the small reprieve, Sans left the remains of the dump and followed off in the direction of Frisk and Napstablook.  Once on dry land, Sans shook his slippers free of water before slipping them back on.  He shoved his hands into his jacket’s pockets as he glanced around the clearing for any signs of the Captain of the Royal Guard herself.  When the coast was clear he sauntered out and stood on the soft patch of dirt in the middle of a large room that had many branching paths.

Sans sighed as he rolled his shoulders.  Following Frisk around this time was taking a toll on him.  He remembered following Frisk the first time and watching them run from Undyne.  Frisk didn’t need much of his help the last time they did this but that was also over a year ago.  There were a few close calls this time around.

He was able to talk with Frisk for a moment after they fell into the dump.  Sans knew that Napstablook would come along and find Frisk at the entrance of the dump.  Frisk told Sans that they would stay with them tonight which would give them, and Sans, plenty of time to rest up before continuing tomorrow.  Sans also gave Frisk his cell phone number this time around.  If they ran into any trouble during the night, they could call him and he could quickly come to their aid.

Sans listened to his surroundings for a moment for any movement before turning to walk through the left corridor towards Snowdin.  The sound of the rushing water echoed peacefully off the walls of the dimly lit caves.  Maybe Sans could even pick a few water sausages to prepare his Sentry station for tomorrow.  He couldn’t help but chuckle to himself as he fell back into old habits.

He stopped several feet from the bank as he turned to look for his harvest.  He took another step before feeling something odd below his foot.  He took a step back to see what he had stepped on and found a strange gem.  As he knelt down to pick it up he noticed at the edge of the bank a small echo flower that wasn’t there before.

“What the…” As Sans picked up the gem he felt a painful sensation go through him like an electric shock.  He instantly held the side of his head and closed his eyes as the pain subsided and took short shaky breaths.  “What the hell was that!”

Sans swore as he opened his eyes once again.  He had to blink a few times and rub his eyes before checking again.  Between him and the flower laid you.  He hesitated as he reached his hand out to you, jumping at the sound of static the flower behind you emitted as his fingertips came in contact with your shoulder.

Sans couldn’t comprehend what was going or how you were here in front of him.  That didn’t matter as he realized you were not moving.

“Hey!” He called out and touched you again.  The flower wailed as the hissing sound of static rang out around him.  He’d worry what that meant later, all that mattered was that you were here before him.  He could see you and what bother him most at this moment was the fact that you were not conscious.

“____!”

Sans ignored the wailing as he rolled you onto your back and shook you.  He begged and begged for you to wake up.  When you did not respond he picked up your hand and held it tightly in his own and bowed his head.  This was too cruel.  He didn’t want to believe you were-

_ S̺̆͒ą̧̓n͙̥̣s͚͉̳?̮́̂ _

Your voice was weak, but he could still hear it through the wailing static.  The small gem slipped from his hand as he squeezed your hand tighter in his.  Sans felt a moment of relief before the sound of the static skipped and your hand faded through his.  He watched as your hand fell to the soft ground before him. 

**~ * ~**

You pried open your good eye to only see the same darkness.  A moment ago you swore you had heard Sans’ voice. You probably had heard the echoes of another thread.  You rolled over to your side and pushed yourself to sit up.

**~ * ~**

“____?”

Sans watched as you pushed yourself to sit.  He saw the pain clearly written on your face and reached out to you once again.  His hand passed through you once again and his mind raced as he tried to figure out what to do.  You were right there.  Right in front of him.  Why could he touch you a moment ago? 

**~ * ~**

You tried to steady your breath as you felt another jolt of pain shoot through you.  You let out a whimper as you felt yourself begin to hyperventilate.  You needed to calm down or you would pass out again.  You heard the sound of shattering glass once again and forced yourself to look around.  There were no threads in sight, only the endless darkness and the glow of a gem to your right.

You took a deep breath as you steadied yourself once again.  You felt the gem calling out to you.  It was like a beacon, fighting to emit the smallest shred of light.  As you reached out and touched it your surroundings suddenly changed.  You were blinded by the bright luminescent blues around you.  You pulled your hand away instantly and took a deep breath as everything changed back to the same darkness as before.

**~ * ~**

Sans sat by helplessly as you sat there in pain.  He tried to call out to you several times but you did not respond.  You couldn’t hear him.  He had forgotten about the small gem until you had turned to reach for it.  When you suddenly gasped and pulled your hand away from it, he made a connection

Sans didn’t hesitate as he reached for the gem once again and picked it up.  He watched as you flinched, but followed where the gem in his hand.  Sans held out his hand and waited for your response.

**~ * ~**

You didn’t know what you were seeing.  The gem was moving.  What did you see when you touched the gem in the first place?  You had so many questions.  You were scared but at the same time, you wanted to know.  The gem stopped not too far from you.

You turned and took a deep breath as you slowly reached your hand to it.  You let out a sudden yelp as the gem shifted forward towards your hand and you felt something warm entwine with your fingers and tightly grip your hand.

You did all you could to close your eye as the sudden flash of color and light filled your vision again.  You tried to pull your hand away but no matter what you did it gripped your hand tightly, painfully.

_ L͍̹̎e̼̖᷊ẗ͔᷃ g͚ͥ̋ỏ̱͒!̨̚͡ _

You heard your own voice scrambled in static behind you before you heard the soft broken chuckle before you forced yourself to pry your good eye open to the blinding light.  The silhouette of a familiar figure sat before you, and you blinked back tears as you realized the warmth in the palm of your hand.  
  
“I’m not going to let you go...not this time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time travel and different "dimensions" makes writing a real mess...
> 
> The secret to the pendant has finally been revealed. 
> 
> I just want to say thank you for reading and I'll be working on the next chapter once I draft it out!
> 
> When I'm closing to update I try to give updates letting you know on my tumblr, http://kioribug.tumblr.com/
> 
> See ya soon!


	40. Looking Forward to a Miracle

Your hand hurt with how tightly Sans was gripping yours.  This pain was fine, it was grounding.  His hand was warm and it wasn’t long before he pulled you towards him and wrapped his other arm around you to hold you close to him.  You buried your face into his shoulder and softly cried.

You were exhausted, in pain, confused, scared, and the list just continued.  You had so many questions to ask, so many things to tell him.  Did you have time to tell him everything?  Where do you even start?  You could still hear the static that wailed from the flower behind you.  Your body felt heavy and you felt something tugging you, urging you away from here.

You didn’t belong here.  That was the feeling you got as you took in the sounds around you.  Rushing water echoed off the walls.  The distant sound of a water droplets meeting a wet surface.  The ground was damp but the patch of soft grass you had found yourself sitting upon was nice.  The lights were blinding, but there was something eerie yet beautiful about them.

“You kept me waiting.” Sans didn’t ease up on his grip on you.

You couldn’t help but laugh but with the sudden jarring breaths put an end to that quickly.  You let out another whimper as you gasped for air.  Sans helped you to sit up but refused to let go of your hand.

“What’s wrong?”

You didn’t know how to answer him.  The sound of static echoed in your head and the pull you felt grew stronger.

_ I̻t͐ h̝ụr̜t͚sͤ.̲.̏.ͭ.͗I̙ h̗u̵r̿t̅.̒.͋.̵ _

Sans studied you for a moment before he held his hand up before you.  You felt another tug as Sans called to your soul.  You heard the distant sound of glass cracking before you heard Sans speak.

“No…”

You opened your eye to the blinding lights only to question what you saw.  You knew what you saw between you and Sans was your soul.  You could feel that it was your soul.  Its glow was weak, and it’s color mostly drained.  You swallowed hard as you heard another sound of glass cracking before a fragment fell from the bottom of your soul to land on the grass before you.

Sans held up his hand, the horror clearly written on his face.  Every ounce of him wanted to hold your soul, cradle it, but he was afraid that if he would touch it now it would…

“It’s shattering…”

His voice cracked as he reached down to take the small fragment that landed in the grass below.  The piece became dark within his hands before he looked towards the hand that held yours.  Sans returned his attention back to your soul.  Your entire being was shattering before you.  The wisps of yours and the magic residue left from his mark desperately fighting to hold you in one piece. 

Sans has never seen a soul shatter like this.  He first thought you were going to turn to dust before him.  He quickly reminded himself that humans do not turn to dust.  Their bodies remain and their soul separates from their physical body.  It does not shatter.  This was different this was…

_ They said he wasn’t with us any longer.  He fell into his creation and shattered… _

Frisk told everyone that Gaster was shattered.  He did not turn to dust, but rather has he fell something stopped the process.  He wasn’t able to die.  Was the same thing now happening to you?

“Does it hurt?” Sans could clearly see it was hurting you but he needed to say something.  He needed to hear your voice.  He wanted you to tell him it was going to be okay.

You couldn’t speak as you stared at your fragmented soul.  It was almost comical how the pain you would have described earlier was tearing you apart.  Never did you think that was literally what was happening.  You swallowed heart and forced yourself to look away and focused on Sans.  You could see the pain written on his face.  You couldn’t lie to him.  It hurt, and you were scared.  You don’t know what was happening.  

_ I͋t̂ h᷂u̍r̈́t᷾ṣ.̨.͊.̢ _

This time you were the one to squeeze his hand.  You bit your lower lip as you collected your thoughts.  The pull you felt was getting stronger and you knew that whatever was keeping you here wouldn’t last.  You needed to tell him about your magic, let him know that you could fix things now.

_ I᷿'͔mͤ g̖oͥi̝nͥg̢ t͛o̊ f̜i̞x̧ t̹h̜i᷿s͙,̄ S̵a̙n̿s̅.͘ _

“How?  I hate to say it sweetheart but I just don’t see how.”  Sans’ eyes darted back to your soul once again.  

With the strength you still had you learned your weight against his hand to push yourself to your knees.  Sans picked up on the cues as he rushed to help you stand. 

“Before you left Tori’s everyone gathered to discuss what we knew about Gaster,”  Sans spoke softly.  “We learned he built the CORE, the building that we found the lab in?” He continued after you acknowledged remembering.  “Yeah.  There were more journals written in a language none of us could read.”  Sans paused again for a moment as he glanced back to your soul.  “Frisk mentioned they met a few monsters down here that mentioned him.  Frisk said there was something wrong with them.” Sans forcefully laughed at the thought, “I mean, there had to be, right?  No one in the entire Underground could remember him but the few,  _ off _ , monsters that Frisk came across down here.”

You took a step forward and leaned your forehead against Sans’.  You felt your soul return to your core and you stood there for a moment silently.  You’d be lying to yourself if you didn’t admit that you were scared.  Seeing your soul was upsetting.  Sans seeing your soul the way it was upset him.  He was shaken and you couldn’t find the courage or the strength to tell him it would be okay.

You didn’t know.

You lightly kissed the top of his skull as you whispered.

_ I̧  _ **_w̱i̹l̳l̬_ ** _ f᷄i̯x᷁ t͏h͓iͣs̛.̀  Iͅ p͚rͮo͔m͒i̛s̩e᷃d̍.̢ _

“How?”  Sans’ voice was weak as the familiar empty tone you used for so many years could be heard.  

_ M̸y̹ m͇aͥg̸i̱c͋.̠  I᷂t͒ c̉a̘n̸ f̳i̎x̟ t̘h̘i̕s͎.ͬ  Y̡oͬu͏'̓l͙ḷ b͌ë́ f̏r̗e̽e᷊ a̍g᷉a᷀īn͐.̢ _

“What about you?  Where are you?  What do I have to do to bring you back?  You didn’t deserve this.  You didn’t deserve to di-”

_ Iͬ'̞m̃ n̞o̝t̡ d̟ḙa̡d̮.̘ _

You put an abrupt end to that line of thought.  You weren’t dead.  You didn’t want to believe that.  You wouldn’t be standing here, talking with Sans if that was the case.

_ Tͪh͟e᷅ p̙l͔a͜c̱e͗ I̎'ͭm̍ i̞n͎ i͕s̤ h͊a̝r᷁d̖ t̏o͖ ďe͓s᷾c͝r̅iͦb̬ȩ.ͮ  G̨a͆sͧṱe͡rͥ c̎a̸l̽l͡š i͐t̃ t͐hͬě p̊l̘åc᷆ȩ b̴e͘t᷁wͩĕḛn͎ t᷾i͆m̒e͙ a̘nͧḍ s̜p̨a̡c̟e̯.̫  I᷆ d̟o᷆n̏'͋t̛ rͯeͤa̻l̾l̿y̪ u̞n̴d᷈e̊r͡s͟t͈a̮nͭd᷇ i̎tͯ,̌ b̮u̕t᷅ I̍ c͟aͯnͧ s̐e̟e͑ m͡e͏m̈́o̫r̫i̦eͥs̠ o͏f̴ ṃoͭm̎e̓n̤t̚s͚ i᷄n͍ t͝iͣm̶e̺.͂  _

Sans lifted his head and took a step away from you to get a clear look of your face.  The pained expression had changed with the familiar face he wore when he was thinking.  Something caught his attention and he looked off to the side as he mumbled to himself.

“Shattered across time and space...place between time and space…”

_ S̺a̅n̓s̭?̴ _

“Is he there?  Is... **_Gaster_ ** ...there with you?  What about that thing that was attached to Frisk’s soul?”  

_ You nodded as you saw Sans eyes narrow before he wrapped his other arm around you and held you tightly to him. _

“It’s not fair.  You didn’t have to do this.  I could have handled it.  Frisk wouldn’t have needed to reset.” Sans’ voice trailed off as he buried his face into your hair.  You knew right away that he was talking about what happened at the lab.  You didn’t have the heart to tell him that he couldn’t.  You don’t remember how many times you watched him die until you fixed the thread.  You wanted to protect him.  

_ S̹a᷈n͋š.͖.̹.̪ _

“No.  I can’t protect you.  Not there I can’t.” He was quick to interrupt you.  You felt his arm tighten around you as his harsh voice dropped to a whisper.  “How many times do I have to wake up back down here?  How many times does it all have to be reset?  How many times has it been?  Was the time I spent with you the dream? Did…” You heard his voice catch as he struggled to speak.  “Did you even exist in the first place?”

You pulled his hand between the two of you and used it to push yourself away.  He let go of you go and as you pulled away you saw how empty his expression was.  The lights in his eyes were gone.  You had never seen him like this before and that scared you the most.

_ I̟ e̼xͭi̔sͦt̷!̴  T᷾h̺a̯t̊ w᷄a̔s͗ r᷂e̚àl᷀.̟  Ĩ a̒m̍ r̾ēa̭l̨!̌  I᷾ ẗ́o̝lͧd̂ y̛òṵ I͜ c̗a͡n͇ f̻ḭx͑ t̞h̔ḯsͬ.ͥ  Ȉ w͔īl̂lͭ f̯i͓x̐ tͬh̲i͝sͩ.̨  P̜l͕e̜a᷄s̑e̮,̇ j̄u͖s̩tͣ t̒r̽u̡s͢t͐ m͉eͩ.̹ _

You heard your words echo back through the flower as you gently shook his arm.  When he did not respond you yanked your hand free.  The small gem fell to the ground and the world with Sans faded away in a blink of an eye.  You let out a frustrated yell as you took a deep breath.  You held your chest as the pain spiked at your core.  For now, you needed to ignore it.  You needed to be there for Sans.

Something about the gem gave you a link to the thread Sans was in and to the space between time.  You watched it for a moment, expecting it to move again as Sans picked it up, but this time it did not.  You bent down and held the small gem within your hand.  You hesitated before holding it out in front you.  You bit your lip waiting, no, praying Sans could see it.  Time had stopped.  Each moment made your heart fill with dread

_ I shouldn’t have let go… _

You closed your eyes as your hand began to shake, you jumped as you felt Sans’ hand tightly grip your hand.  The sound of rushing water filled your ears as the luminescent lights filled your vision once again.  Sans panted as he desperately held your hand.  His mouth twitched upward as he clearly showed signs of relief.

“Scared me there, hun.”

You couldn’t help but smile.  He rarely called you that, but it still warmed your heart at the sound of it.  You pulled at his hand to lead him forward.  He followed quickly and you hugged his arm to your chest.  Your soul ached, partly due to real physical pain, but you missed him.  You were glad that he had snapped out of.  

You mouthed an apology and took another look at your surroundings.  Where ever you were it was beautiful.  It had only been recent that you were able to see the beauty.  You closed your eyes and recalled the small home the two of you lived in with Papyrus.   That place wasn’t a home until Sans, Papyrus, and everyone else opened your eyes.  It was like Sans had told you back in his old home in Snowdin.

_ “You only start to think of what you don’t have, and not what you do have.” _

You knew that there was more than just simply not seeing what you don’t have.  These RESETS had done more than enough damage.  It would be one thing if Sans and everyone was left in the thread you departed.  That thread had become cracked and gray.  It had ended.  

Frisk had said that Chara, which you assumed was the entity attached to their soul, was the one who could reset, who had reset.  You don’t know how many times it had happened but it fragmented the threads.  It fragmented memories.  They were the flashes of nightmares you had seen, that Sans had seen.  He lived through them, experienced them first hand at one point.

You took a deep breath as you turned to face Sans.  You removed the cause of the RESETS.  They were stuck in the place you were.  He would never have to deal with a reset again.  You closed the distance between Sans and yourself quickly and leaned down to press your lips against the front of his mouth.  For a moment, nothing else mattered in the world around you.  There was no pain, no worries, just nothing but you and him.  The warmth of his hand, the tingle of his magic across your lips, and the gentle heat rising in your cheeks as you pulled yourself away.

_ Iͭ l̜o͒v̉ė y̘o̦u͘.͇ _

You would say these words to him a thousand times if you had to.  You did truly come to love him.  He inspired you and he was your reason and courage now to move forward.  You wanted to give him his future.

The pain returned as swiftly as it had gone and you felt the pull from the darkness pull at you more than before.  If you were to let go of his hand now, you did not think you could grasp it again.  

_ S̖a̐n̻s̓,̟ Ī c͌aͬn͉'ͬtͪ s̴t̙ḁy̑.̔  I͢t͎.᷇.̲.̨s͛o͟m᷀e̲t̰h͙iͦn̫g᷾ i̇s̟ p͒u̕l᷇l᷁i͟n̗g̘ m͟e̒ a͓w᷊åy̷.᷿ _

“I won't let you go.  Just stay here with me, please.” Sans said quietly.

You smiled a sad smile as you squeezed his hand in yours.  More than anything you wished you didn’t have to leave his side again.  However, you knew that the longer you stayed here the harder it would make it when you had to go.  You had so many things you wanted to tell him.

You gently pulled your hand away as Sans’ grip tightened on your hand.  You felt calm despite not knowing when you would be able to speak with Sans again.  You didn't even know if you could.  All you knew was that you had found your resolve.  You were going to put a lot of faith in yourself, and in preserving Sans and everyone’s future.

You recalled what Toriel had told you when you asked about magic.  Human magic has created miracles before.  You wanted to show Sans that you too could pull this off.

_ P̈́l̂e̾a̝s̠e͂ bͅe᷿l͞i̗êv̑e͍ i̭n̠ m̑yͬ m̲i᷉r͗ăc̗l᷄e᷉.̹ _

You heard the last of your words echo as you saw his smile.  Sans nodded and you gave him a genuine smile before you felt his grip loosen and yourself being tugged back to the world of black.

**~ * ~**

Sans stood there as the small gem fell to the dirt and grass below him.  He bowed his head and rubbed the corners of his eyes.  He didn’t get to talk to you as much as he wanted.  He still didn’t understand how you were going to fix things.  You seemed to believe that your magic could do something and he would have to trust you.

Sans took a deep breath before squatting down to collect the small gem.  He had hoped that it would have moved again.  As it sat there on the ground he knew you were gone for good this time.  He would wait for the next time you would show up and hear what you had to say.  He wanted to know your plan and wanted to know if there was anything he could do to help.  For now, he turned his attention back to the path he had walked down that lead him to you.  He had Frisk to watch after and he would be damned if he left the kid down.

Sans looked back down to examined the small gem he held between his fingers.  He sighed as he tried not to allow himself to think upon it too much.  After all, what he held in his hand was not truly a gem.  No.  This was a fragmented piece of your soul.

**~ * ~**

You hated the darkness that seemed to swallow you whole.  Something nagged at the back of your mind as if you had forgotten something long ago.  At some point, you had closed your eyes.  You slowly pried open your good eye and felt your blood run cold as you saw your shattered soul floating a few feet before you.  If that was all you saw you don’t think you would have been as bothered.  Behind your soul, however, was a pair of familiar bright red eyes and crooked smile.  

Their small hands collected the shattered remnants of your soul that your magic had desperately been holding together in their hands before they looked up to meet your eyes.

“Let me help you.”  
  
You knew that with every fiber of your being that this was wrong.  You shouldn’t trust them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shorter than normal. My heart just wasn't in writing this last week. There was a death in my family and it has really been a rough week trying to focus. I'm okay. I will be okay. My heart just hasn't been in it and I really need it to be.
> 
> There's more to come, and I'll be in a better headspace soon.
> 
> As also, thank you so much for those that are here reading and those that leave comments. You really do mean a lot to me. Thank you all so much!
> 
> Tumblr plug for updates and random things here and there. 
> 
> http://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	41. I Am The One In Control

It was suffocating.

Their presence permeated every inch of your being.  Somewhere close by you heard the low familiar growl from the blaster that had been told you watch over you.  The pain your chest flared up and you no longer could tell if you were standing or falling.  You fought to keep yourself from being swallowed whole by the child who was before you just moments ago.

This was nothing like Gaster.  Gaster was calculated.  He tested his boundaries slowly.  He was like a shadow that existed and slowly entangled you before he could take control.  No, this was different. 

You felt as if you were thrown into deep unknown waters with something tied to your feet to drag you down.  You saw flashes of scenes before you that you couldn’t comprehend as you dealt with the wave of emotions that were coming over you.

Gaster harbored an ugly jealousy and hatred for you.  His life ripped away from him and what was worse is that no one could remember he even existed.  The feelings you felt now were much worse.  It was like the first few moments of an earthquake.  It was as if your breath was taken from you, the sheer disbelief that clouded your thoughts.  A deep sadness and grief that rivaled your own at your lowest point surfaced and was overcome easily by the furious anger and hatred that fueled into everything else.

As you fought to keep your head above the waters of these suffocating emotions you heard yourself chuckle.  The familiar sensation from when Gaster had taken control of you back in the library came rushing back as you watched your body move and stretch.  The pain at your core had dulled and before you was their dark, nearly black, red magic encased your soul and held it firmly together.

“This will do nicely.”

You heard your voice and you instantly knew what was going on.

_ Give it back! _

“You needed my help.  I thought you would be thanking me for saving you, but I guess you’re just like the others.”  Somewhere off beside you the sound of the blaster let out a low growl.  Magic whispered from between its jagged teeth.  Chara turned to face it and smiled.  “What would your master think if you were to attack me now?”  The magic continued to waft from its mouth before its jaw tightly closed.  Its eyes didn’t blink as it continued to let out a low grumble.  “So you can understand what’s going on, or is it that you can’t follow through one order without disobeying another?”

You were relieved when the blaster did not fire upon you.  You could feel yourself being swallowed and it took everything you had to keep yourself conscious.

“You’re just like  _ them _ .  As least  _ they _ thanked me for saving their life.”

_ What did you do, no, what are you doing to me?  How could this be saving my life?  Who is them? _

“Do you really not understand that you were dying?” You heard your laugh as it distorted in the place around you.  “How many times did you watch your precious friends die one by one?  How many times did you watch him, Sans, die?”

_ How could you- _

The deaths of your friends, of the ones you loved, meant nothing to them.  A mixture of anger and disbelief built up within whatever was left of you before the realization of what they first spoke of hit you.

_ I was dying? _

Your distorted laughter echoed around you once more before they spoke.

“Are you really surprised?  When you jumped off that platform in that lab what did you think was going to happen?”  They took a moment to think before responding.  “So time doesn’t exist here?  That would explain why yours and his soul won't shatter completely.  No matter, I stopped yours from shattering for now.  I can’t have you dying before I can leave this place.”

You didn’t honestly know what to think.  You could remember the sweltering heat and just by catching a glimpse of Hotlands you knew what you were getting into as you descended into Gaster’s old lab.  It’s not like you didn’t think that was a possibility.  As “romantic” as it sounded to say you’d die for the one you loved, you didn’t want to die.  No, you followed the voice, your voice.  You followed in Gaster’s footsteps and fell into the CORE.

You gasped as you felt as if you had been expelled from your own body.  You could see yourself fully as if you were looking into a mirror.  A mirror with a crooked smile that is.  The first thing you noticed was the glow of their red eye in place of your own.  You watched as they raised your left hand to your chest as if to pull something from within.  You didn’t expect to see your soul to follow.

At first you couldn’t believe what you were seeing.  Your soul, though cracked, looked whole.  Complete.  Your violet soul pulsed dimly and the traces of their red magics held it together.  The pain was gone 

_ How? _

That was all you could manage.  You didn’t even know how to feel looking upon your own soul.  Were you relieved?  Sad?  Scared?  

“Still not even a thank you?  You really are ungrateful.”  They paused in their speech and flicked your wrist as your soul disappeared back into your chest.  “I used my magic to  **_RESET_ ** it back to when we first-”

Nothing else they said mattered.  They said RESET.

_ You really are Chara, aren’t you? _

You saw the red magic that illuminated around your iris flare up brighter than before.  As they spoke their voice, your voice let out a blood-curdling static almost making the words unrecognizable as they spoke.

**_D̳͈᷃̅ͤ̆̅O̻̳̖᷾̅̅ͬ N̡̗̳̜̅̅̾O̳̱͒̅̓̅ͤT̡͚͇̳̖̅̅ C̪̙̳͕̅̓̅A̳ͦ̅̒̅ͭ͝L̟̳᷃̅̔̅ͣL͉̙̳̅̅̀͞ M̨̳ͦ̅̐ͪ̅E̳͖ͮ̅̂̅͢ B̸̬̳͎̤̅̅Y̳͇̽̅̅̾̚ T᷿̳̅ͪ̅̅͟H̨᷿̳̑̅̏̅A̸̳᷂ͩ̅́̅T̳᷀̅̆ͩ̅᷁ N̬̳̅̿̈̅̿Ạ̛̭̳̅᷀̅M̶̳͇̅͑᷁̅E̲̳̅̐̅̅̚!̢͕̳̅ͬ̄̅_ **

“And what name would that be?”

You watched as Gaster seemed to melt out of the darkness from behind you.  Despite your conflicting conviction on Chara you still chose to approach.  You were like a disembodied shadow as you hovered close to your own body.  You were only a consciousness of yourself.  You’d give anything for Gaster to see you.  You caught the broken smile across your body’s face and your hopes came crashing down around you.

“I wondered when you would show up…”

With a speed you had never expected, you watched Chara turned to face Gaster as they swung your hand enveloped in aura tinted red and violet.  Gaster moved back but he wasn’t fast enough to dodge this unexpected attack.  The black robe he always wore separated easily from his shoulder.  It was like the world around you was in slow motion.  Gaster stumbled back and instantly clasped at his shoulder before a disembodied hand materialized out from behind him and a white jagged bone launched towards you.  The same distorted chuckle filled the space around you before they jumped to the side to dodge the attack.

_ Stop it!   _

The silence roared loudly in your ears as everything came to a stop.  Gaster tightly gripped his shoulder and the whites of his eyes had disappeared only to be replaced by the violet rings as he summoned his own magic.  His eyes slowly scanned his surroundings before stopping at the blaster to your side.  When its eyes met Gaster it seemed to shrink before disappearing into the blackness of this world.  

Gaster's eyes returned to the figure before him.  He stood up straight and released his shoulder as he laced his fingers in his own.  You would have been worried but even now you could feel every instinct you had told you he was dangerous.  

You felt your mind fall into a haze and you could feel the pull of your soul being forced to hover out in front of your body.  You could feel the hairs standing on end on the back of your neck.  You didn’t want this.  Every bit of you told you to run and hide, but Chara wouldn’t let you.  No, they were excited.  They fed off your fear and you felt as if you were being drained as you felt Chara’s presence begin to suffocate you once again.

“I am disappointed to see that it has come to this.”  Gaster’s words were slow but somehow you knew they were directed to you, not Chara.  “Though, the amount of DETERMINATION that I can sense from you has increased tremendously.  You certainly are an oddity, aren’t you?”  

“How long are you going to keep up this act?  This is what you’ve wanted all along.”  You could feel the corners of your mouth stretch as Chara grin.  “You never did truly leave her alone, no?  Always just seconds away, watching from the shadows.  

Gaster stood silently, but the air around him did not change.  He watched you cautiously as Chara stretched before flexing the muscles of your hand testing every joint.

“Always playing the role of the hero.  You pretend to come to her rescue.  Trying to regain any of the trust that you had lost.  You were using her to lure  _ me _ out.”

You heard Chara laugh again and with each passing moment Gaster’s silent, cautious gaze only seemed to echo back his betrayal.

_ Was he just using me? _

_ Was I tricked? _

_ Gullible.. _

_ I’m such an idiot. _

Your words echoed around you as you allowed yourself to be swept away with the ocean of negative emotions that swirled around inside of Chara.  At some point you tuned out Chara’s taunts and you barely noticed when Chara took a step forward.

That’s when you pulled out of the haze as something struck your shoulder.  You, not Chara, was the one now standing before Gaster.

“You assume many things.  Though I will give credit where it is due.” Gasters words spun inside your head as you focused on him.  “You were correct in your line of thinking that I was not to be far from her side.” This time, Gaster was the one to take a step as he slowly approached you.  “You were only partly correct to assume I was using her to lure you out.  No, the mere fact is that you, a human’s soul, would not approach me, a monster, if you did not have the means to properly protect your own soul.  After all, monsters can absorb human souls, why wouldn’t I just absorb yours?”

Gaster only stopped when he was directly in front of you.  You turned your head up to meet his gaze.  The tip of your fingers flinched when you felt something warm and wet drip off of them.  You could feel your heart beating in your shoulder as you slowly turned your head to finally look at the source of the pressure you had been feeling.  Your breath caught in your throat as you stared incredulously at the red stained, jagged, magical bone that had pierced through your shoulder and held you in place.  It wasn’t until you registered that you were bleeding did you finally begin feeling the pain.

You let out an agonizing scream as Gaster’s words fell on deaf ears.  You could no longer move your arm and the only thing you could do was thrash around to try and break free.  This only made the pain worse.  You knew Chara was speaking to you but you could not understand anything they were saying to you.  All that mattered was the pain you felt now and trying to break free from it.

You finally stopped when you caught sight of Gaster’s hand wrapping around the stained edge of the bone.  Without turning you could feel the dampness of his breath as his words filled your head.  “You are stronger than this.”

You closed your eye and reopened it to find that Chara was once again in control and Gaster had returned to the place he was standing before.  Chara turned to your left to check your shoulder and you were surprised to see that bone was gone.  No blood, no wound.  It was like nothing had happened.  This time Chara was not laughing.  No, this time, it was Gaster.

“Let the simulation begin,” Gaster’s words echoed as his violet irises shined as the rest of him faded into the blackness.

Chara pulled the neck of your shirt to the side to inspect your shoulder.  At first glance you mistook the purplish skin as a bruise.  You knew, this was the  _ poison _ that came with using violet magic. 

“What is this?” Your voice carried Charas harsh words.  They turned back to Gaster and it almost sounded like a low growl.  “This is now how it works!”

Gaster’s voice came from every direction as Chara turned their attention away from your shoulder and suddenly jumped to the side.  At your feet ruptured many splintered bones.  Despite how terrified you were, Chara’s reaction was different.  They were excited, and with each attack they dodged their excitement only grew.

Were they having fun?

Chara made this look easy, almost too easy.  You would catch glimpses of Gaster in the darkness every now and then.  His blasters were numerous and a few times Chara would get a little too close to their concentrated magic than what you were comfortable with.

As you watched Chara you recalled the nightmares.  Chara must have used Frisk just as they are using you to find all of your friends.  With their magic and the ability to reset everything at will it was easy to understand why it had looked like child’s play.

You felt something slam hard against your back, knocking all air from your chest, before your body was flung through the void before collapsing to the ground.  You felt Chara’s mild annoyance before they forced themselves off the ground to stare towards the direction the attack had come from.  There was a sudden sound from behind before Chara whirled around to stare face first into a thread.

The sleek surface was similar to glass and in it’s reflection you could see yourself properly.  Your hair was a mess.  A small trail of blood trailed from your lip that you must have bit when you were thrown.  You caught a glimpse of a small white hand reached out of the darkness from behind you.  Chara caught the hand in yours and a burst of your magic and their expelled from your palm with such a force that it almost seemed to swallow their hand whole.  

Chara didn’t stop there.  They leapt in the direction the hand had came from and your hand reached out until it grabbed a hold of what had to of been Gaster’s robe.  Another burst of magic lit up at your fingertips as Chara pulled the fabric back towards you as it tore.  It was strange, as if what Chara had grabbed wasn’t even solid.  It separated too easily from Gaster and splattered across the floor not far from your own feet.  It almost sounded wet.

_ Water? _

That’s the only thing you could think of.  It just didn’t make sense.

Chara jumped back away from Gaster and let out a laugh as Gaster appeared before you once again.  A blaster at his side ready to launch another attack.  You noticed quickly that his left hand was missing and his left arm almost seemed to sag further than what his body proportions allowed.

“This fight of ours isn’t fair.  While we have a soul, what do you have?  Why haven’t you turned to dust yet?  You’ve already  _ fallen _ , haven’t you?”

Chara didn’t stop their giddy laugh as reached into your pocket and pulled out the black gem you had forgotten about until now.  Gaster’s face distorted as he caught sight of the jewel.

“You know what this is, don’t you?”  Chara held it tightly in your hand as they took a few steps back as Gaster lunged towards you.  

Chara kept up their game of keep away for a while longer before they were backed against a thread.  They only laughed as they allowed the mixture of your magic and there's envelope the small shard.  You could easily see the pain on Gaster face as he fell to his kneels and tightly hugged himself.  Through the pain Gaster never let the fragment out of his sights.  

“How did you come to possess that…” Gaster spoke through heavy, ragged breaths as his form seem to blur.

_ What’s going on?  What is happening to him? _

“Does it make sense now?  When her soul swallowed you whole, what do you really think was the cause?” Chara spoke slowly, grinning ear to ear as they smugly looked upon the crumpled monster.  “She’s easy to read, you know.  I can easily recall any memory of hers and when I focus on those that concern you, what memory do you think I can recall?  Just how did you end up back here?”

Gaster didn’t respond.  The lights in his eyes dilated as he focused on holding himself together.

_ What are you talking about? _

Chara let out an annoyed huff as they took small strides, circling Gaster.  “You know that I can see everything, right?  I am a part of you now.  I can see everything you see.  I can recall any memory you have.  The night before you fell into the CORE you, or should I say, this,” Chara flicked their wrist indicating the small shard they held in their hand, “drained Gaster’s remaining consciousness from you.”  

_ What is it?  Why was that in my soul? _

Chara laughed as they turned to look down at Gaster.  Knowing that Gaster could no longer hear you they only smiled.  “Do you understand now?  Should I tell her?”

_ Stop playing games Chara- _

“Do not call me that!” Chara growled as they gripped the shard tightly in your hand.  

You could see Gaster wince as he struggled to his feet.  You couldn’t help but think how sudden the control of power had gone from Gaster to Chara.  The small shard that you’ve held onto and had forgotten it until now.

For a brief moment you recalled Sans.  You recalled how tightly he held you and the small shard the two held between your hands.

_ It’s shattering… _

You remembered your soul.  You remembered seeing it crumble slowly before you and how a small shard-- 

_ No… _

You could feel yourself fill with dread as you finally figured out what Chara held in their hand.

Chara laughed as they sneered at Gaster.

“You finally get it?” Chara couldn’t help but laugh.  They took a few steps back from Gaster and held your stomach as they lost all control to contain themselves.  They only calmed themselves when they notice Gaster moving again.  “It took you long enough to realize but I guess since this piece is larger I can forgive you.” Chara stood up straight and held their head high as Gaster cautiously watched.  “While your soul is just beginning to shatter, his shattered the moment he fell.  A long time ago he mentioned he was drawn to you.  You understand now, right?  It wasn’t you he was interested in, it was a piece of his lost soul.”

“How did you find that…” The magic had returned to Gaster’s eyes and the foreboding aura you felt from before returned in full force.  

You felt Chara tense up as you heard the familiar growl from behind you.  Chara turned in time to see the Blaster skull open its jaw wide as it unleashed a beam of condensed colorless magic at you.  You could feel Chara’s anger well up within them as jumped out of the beam’s way.  Chara turned to Gaster and tightly gripped the soul fragment in their hand.  

You froze again as you felt another blow hit you from behind.  There was no warnings, no signs.  Gaster had baited Chara into another trap and your body stood there frozen.  You heard Chara gargle a cough before letting out a cry as you felt two more sudden blows.  The sudden sight of red on the protruding jagged bones before you was the cause of the numbing pain that was overcoming you quickly.  The energy you had draining slowly as the tips of your fingers began to tingle painfully.

Gaster didn’t wait or attempt to taunt Chara.  They were focused on the fragment in your hand and as they reached out to take it from you when you felt the terrible dark spark from your core surge out from you.  You heard Chara’s growl as your hand illuminated in a deep red, near black, magic.  Your fist shook fiercely and you heard the sound of breaking glass.  Small cracks began to form in the fragment before you heard Gaster let out a pained grunt.

**_Y̎̔᷅o͛͢͠ų̽͌ a̯̫͇r͚͔ͯe̶̱ͭ ǹ̯̟o͖̊̓t̓᷄͜ p͇̈́͟ľ̶̡a̿̕̕y̥͉͑i̽͋ͫn̜᷄᷉ḡ͈͆ f̄͑̕a̢ͨͬi̛͉ͅr̨̹͡!᷊ͦͫ_ **

No!  Stop it Chara!

If this fragment of Gaster’s soul shattered what would happen to him now?  When Chara killed everyone in the night-no, the other threads, when your friends died, their bodies crumbled to dust.  You focused again on Gaster and between your own blurring vision and losing focus you couldn’t tell if Gaster was coming undone.  You couldn’t sit back and watch Chara take another life.  You could stop this.  Just as Chara was borrowing magic from you, if you were to take a guess you could probably borrow magic from them.

Chara could RESET.

What could you do?

You would have time later to find the right name for it.  For now, you needed to make sure that Gaster’s soul didn’t break.  You needed to be in control.  Gaster had said that this was a simulation.  What was it a simulation of?  Was this stand off even happening?

No, something was happening, but maybe the perception of how it was happening was different.  Gaster was testing you.  He was studying you.  That’s what he did.  That’s what he’s always done.  He sat back and quietly observed.  Watched, and when he had an idea he’d point you off into a direction.  

_ You are stronger than this. _

Those were his words.  He had only been with you for a short time, but he had found something that made him believe those words.  Gaster hated you.  You would probably never receive an apology from him for the things that he did, the problems he caused you and your new found friends and family.  You knew he took pleasure in demonstrating magic on you earlier.  Despite all the jealousy and hatred he had for you, admitting how he had wanted to kill you, but didn’t.  He saved you.

Not once, but twice

As you panicked and blacked out in the park, he protected you.  Despite everything, he didn’t want you to die.  He didn’t want you to end up here in this empty void.

Gaster was lonely.

You had been lonely.

Gaster couldn’t accept what happened.

You hated the life you still had.

Gaster had lost everything.

You took it all for granted.

Gaster didn’t want to die.

You have a reason to live.

You wanted to save him.

You closed your eye as you heard another loud crack.  When you opened your eye again Gaster was again on the floor and you were now in control.  The bloodied bones were no longer there and you were whole again.  You could feel the start of Chara pulling your consciousness away.  You couldn’t let them.

You felt something fumble in your hand and you looked down to see Gaster’s soul fragment, uncracked, in your hand.  If Chara regained control now, they would shatter it in an instant.  There would be nothing Gaster could do.  You brought the fragment to your chest and begged for something.  You tried to recall anything that could help you.  What could you do to protect this fragment, to get him out of Chara’s reach.  Where couldn’t Chara reach?

The threads.

You gasped as you took a few steps away from Gaster and turned your back to him.  You stretched out your hand and called out to the threads before you.

“Show me his fall!” You cried out desperately.  You couldn’t let Chara regain control just yet.

“What are you-” You heard Gaster’s hoarse voice from behind you.  He reset his simulation, but it seems that Chara shattering the fragment still had some effects on him.  As a thread appeared before you took a step forward before you felt your legs give out from below you.

The new found energy you had felt before had suddenly left you as you collapsed to the floor.  You felt a surge of pain well up in your shoulder and the previous spots that the bones had pierced you.  From everything you’ve learned you understood what was going on.

Gaster was using his magic, his physical attacks against you contained his native violet magic.  It was poisoning you. 

You wanted to curse him under your breath but you gritted your teeth and pushed yourself up to kneel.  Time may not exist here but that didn’t mean that you could fight Chara off forever.  Your body was growing tired and at any moment this could be over.  You tried to push yourself to sit on your feet and cried out in frustration.  

You held your breath as you heard the familiar growl to your left.  You turned to your left to see a blaster not far from you.  It was the one that had been with you since Gaster commanded it earlier.  You were scared.  This blaster skull could fire upon you at any moment, ending this.  You needed to plead, beg.  Maybe it would understand.

“It’s me...please...let me help him.”  You felt your lip quivering and at some point you must have started crying as you felt the tears trail and drip off your chin.  You forced yourself to sit back on your heels before reaching out to it.  “It’s me.  I’m not them, I’m not Chara…”

You could see it’s magic flowing from the spaces between its opened jaw.  It’s eyelights focused on you, staring through you.  For a moment it’s eyes flickered between you and possibly Gaster behind you.  

You closed your eye and felt your body shake as you left your fate in the hands of this creature before you.  You jumped when you felt the smooth, cool muzzle of the blaster gently press against the top of your fist.  You opened your eye to see the magical light from it’s jaw gone and it gently nuzzling your hand.

“What are you doing!” Gaster commanded.  He was regaining his strength and you could hear the anger in his voice as he called out to the blaster beside you.  

You could see the blaster flinch as it looked back towards its master.  You didn’t want to waste time as you wrapped your arm around it’s head.  With it’s help you were able to get back onto your feet.  You balanced yourself and took a deep breath before turning back to the monster before you.  
  
“Thank you…” You spoke softly as you took a step back into the thread you had called.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. Originally I planned for the part where we visited the thread to happen in this chapter as well. I decided to wait until next chapter and give it the love it deserves.
> 
> Writing Gaster's magic was pretty fun. I'm really happy with where Patchwork is atm but I am craving for some Sans/Reader time :) Got a plan to fulfil this need of mine soon enough. Either way...
> 
> Thank you again for continuing to read! There will be more soon!
> 
> kioribug.tumblr.com for updates~


	42. Time to Act

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Implied assistant suicide.

No one was still except for one.

Distant echoes hummed through the room with everyone’s excitement.  Today was a day that everyone had worked so hard for.  History was going to change, and the only way to go was up.  Gaster would accept nothing less.

Gaster sat quietly hunched over his desk as he wrote in a journal.  He rubbed the bridge between his eyes as he removed the pair of glasses from his face and folded them neatly.  He opened the drawer to his right to deposit the spectacles when he caught sight of a few loose pieces of paper.  If he could, he would smile fondly upon them.  He would do a lot of things if he could.

He laid the papers loosely out before him.  They were records.  Data recorded in color.  They contained familiar subjects that he had long since grown detached from.  Gaster sat there looking over them for some time before a knock sounded on the door to his room.  Any other day he would have turned to see who it was.  Today?  Today didn’t matter.    

“They said that I could find you here, my friend.”

Gaster didn’t turn his head as the sound of glass clinked against each other as a tray was set on the desk beside him.  Gaster only acknowledged his guest when a white saucer was placed in front of him.  A teacup was gently placed upon the saucer and Gaster quickly turned to assist.

“This is unbecoming of you.  Allow me.” Gaster spoke quietly as he rose to his feet.  He leaned against the desk before his legs twisted below him.  Before he could fall a giant hand caught him and helped him settled back into his chair.

“You must take better care of yourself.” He paused for a moment before he let out a tired sigh.  “Could I suggest that we postpone-”

“No,” Gaster responded quickly.  “Everything that I have worked for has led up to today.” Gaster tried to stand once more before he was firmly pressed back into his chair.  “I will rest when this is all over your Highness.”

“Asgore is just fine,” Asgore spoke kindly.  The corners of his mouth raised slightly as he turned back to the tray he had brought with him and grabbed the small teapot.  He filled up the cup in front of Gaster before pouring his own.  “Do drink this.  It is a personal favorite of mine.  It should give you strength.”

Gaster sighed as he resigned himself to rest.  He was grateful, and for the first time in a while, he could almost allow himself to smile.  He didn’t.  No, there was still work to be done.  There were people counting on today’s experiment to succeed.

Today the barrier would fall.  His life’s work.  A decade's worth of research would finally come to fruition.  Even now, as he sipped idly on the tea the King has provided for him, he was running mental checks.  He ran through every simulation, every outcome.  He was as prepared as he could ever be.  

But he was weak.

Gaster had been slowly deteriorating.  He would catch his staff often staring at him.  Their eyes full of worry and at first he would assure them he was fine.  He had grown bitter, distant.  He didn’t want their pity.  There concern.  If they grew to hate him that would have been for the best.  After today, Gaster would be no more.  He was certain of it.  

In distant memory, no one has ever recalled an instance where a monster had consumed more than one human soul.  The power that one soul offered was enough to pass through the barrier.  Their physical form changed to accustom the Monster to its new power.  Today, Gaster was going to be the first to attempt to absorb five additional souls. 

“Doctor?” Asgore’s voice said softly as his heavy hand gently gripped Gaster’s shoulder.

This wasn’t uncommon.  Gaster would lose himself in his thoughts more often than not.  The King, though frustrated, understood this well.  He had tasked the smaller monster with a heavy burden for his kingdom.  Asgore’s eyes were soft as his weary friend turned to acknowledge him once again. 

He had noticed right away the state of his friend.  His heart broke as his subject literally was working himself to death.  He was no stranger to death.  He had witness hundreds, if not thousands of his subjects in his lifetime fall.  He knew the signs.  He noticed the darkness of Gaster’s soul with how hopeless he had become.  Today he would not lecture him.  Today, Asgore would turn a blind eye and offer his support.  His hand grew heavy on his friend’s shoulder and he gently squeezed his hand before he raised his head.

“Do take care, my friend.  I will wait for you in the garden.  I will be ready to escort you at any time.”  Asgore removed his hand from Gaster’s shoulder and turned as a soft knock came from the door.  A small yellow monster familiar to both of them stood at the door frame as the door slid open.

“O-oh!  I-I’m sorry!  I d-did not kn-know that you we-were with our K-K-King!” Alphys squeaked as she reached up to adjust her glasses and hide the red blush of embarrassment on her cheeks.

Asgore smiled and spoke softly to reassure her, “I was just leaving.  I expect you had come to tell the Doctor here that everything is ready for him?”

Alphys glanced over to Gaster who had set his cup down and slowly stood up on his feet.  She nodded quickly and averted her gaze to the floor.  “Y-yes!  All that is l-l-left is for the D-d-dr. t-to make his final ch-checks.”

“Please see to it that Your Highness and all other unauthorized personnel are escorted off of the premises.” Gaster turned back to his desk to collect the last of his notes as he waited for his guests to leave.

Alphys fumbled with her claws as she looked down to the floor and then back up.  She took a deep breath and stuttered as she spoke, “I c-can help with the f-f-final ch-checks!” She squeaked and clasped her hands to her mouth.  At any moment she knew Gaster would decline her request but this time it was Asgore who put a gentle hand on her back.

“Come now, dear Alphys.  After you see to your task please join me with the others in my garden for tea.” Asgore smiled as he gently led her out and gave Gaster one last passing glance as a firm, displeased frown crossed his face.

Asgore had always hoped the two would get along.  They were both brilliant and if Gaster would open his view on things he was sure the two of them could do so much wonder for their kind.  For now, he would keep the peace between the two and distract the young scientist with a brilliant mind with tea.

The door shut behind the two of them and Gaster stood alone in silence.  For a moment, the room spun and he quickly grabbed the desk in front of him to catch him before he fell.  The tray that the King had brought tea on tumbled to the floor and with a terrible crash, he sighed with frustration.  He could clean up the mess later.  He needed to collect himself and prepare for his experiment to begin.

A few moments passed before Gaster felt strong enough to stand on his own.  He hated to admit it, but he had been thankful for the tea.  If he still had his senses he would be sure to thank Asgore properly.  Another knock came at his door and he knew that he could stall no more.  It was time.

Gaster removed the white coat from his shoulders and tossed it to the floor to cover the glass.  He would be needing a new one soon enough.  He took slow, confident steps towards the door and opened it to find a hooded monster with a Cheshire grin greeted him.  Gaster’s gaze fell until he found the small head that smiled wide and looked at him with brilliant eyes.

There were no words exchanged at first as Gaster exited his room.  The hallway lit brightly with the same fluorescent blues and magical tubes.  Each step rang out a hollow, dull sound as the two of them headed towards the main floor.  Gaster cast his glance to his left to view the stage that he had set at the pinnacle of the CORE itself.  This was the safest place that magma and magic combined.  This was where he had found its strongest reading.

His subordinate ran through the list of things that had been prepared and what needed Gaster’s final approval before things could commence.  Gaster idly nodded as he was distracted by the machine in the middle of the room.  There, with the six chambers attached, he admired the beauty of his machine.  This had been the second machine he had built, the first to extract the SOUL’s essence, it’s life.  The second machine, though similar, had a second purpose.  This one would redirect the soul’s essence to the large metallic machine in the back.  

The two descended the steps and Gaster quickly shoved the sleeves of his sweater up on his arms.  He nodded as his other subordinates peeked their head out from their stations and greeted him.  Gaster only nodded and moved forward to the machine that held the souls in the middle of the room.  He checked the wires, tubes, clasps, and panels on each chamber.  He couldn’t afford for a soul to break free during the process.

He was able to take a moment’s reprieve as he leaned against the machine and gently tapped the glass to the orange soul.  He was almost amused at how it thrashed about in its chamber.  He stood back and took one more passing glance around the machine before taking short strides to the chamber, his chamber, that would allow his rebirth. 

“Everything is in place.  Are there any final preparations needed to be reviewed?” His voice was quiet.  He could feel himself begin to shake as he took in another breath.  He would not succumb to weakness or fatigue.  All his strength would be restored soon enough.  

“Everything has been reviewed, sir.” A smaller monster that came up to his hip chimed up near the souls.  He bounced on his feet as he could barely contain his excitement.  Normally, Gaster would reprimand such behavior, but today he would allow it.  Today everyone would be free and each one present now would be responsible.  Their names would be written in the books of history.

“Has all unauthorized personnel been escorted out of-”

“Already done!  No one else is here except us.  Everything is all clear!” The same hooded monster from before chimed in as he took his place near the smaller monster in the middle of the room.

Everyone came to stand together and looked back at the machine before turning to offer Gaster their brightest smiles.

“Thank you for this chance.  Thank you for setting me, no, our families free.” 

Gaster could only look upon them.  For the first time in a long while, he allowed himself to smile.  It was all over.  Everything he had worked for.  He could finally let go of his regrets.  He only wished that they could have finished this sooner.  He turned away and slowly climbed into the chamber.

Everyone was quiet as things had begun.  Gaster felt at peace as he stared at the souls in the middle of the room.  He didn’t complain or fight as the restraints he had prepared to secure him in his chamber were tightened around him.  He could feel the sweltering heat around him as the door to his chamber closed in front of him.  His gaze never shifted from the souls in the middle of the room and he was glad that he had the insight to install a window on the door.  

At the far end of the room, his team had assembled behind a long set of panels and those with arms set to typing in the sequences to start the experiment.  A siren blared as the lights dimmed in the room as the lights on his machine and the one in the center of the room blinked to life.  

Steam ejected from the vents and the whir and grind of the machines shook and roared as the procedure began.  Pressure built up in his chamber and if Gaster didn’t know better, he could almost hear distant screams beneath the growls of the machines

Pipes and cables littered the floors around the room, all glowing brightly as they transferred the high concentration of magical energy required for the machine in the center of the room.  Everything was going as planned.

Gaster expelled the breath that he had been holding suddenly.  He had felt his strength return to him suddenly, and flashes of a life flashed before his eyes.  There was so many, too many.  There was too much.  He felt as if he would burst.

Gaster closed his eyes and opened his mouth to yell out in pain.  He couldn’t hear, he couldn’t breathe.  He couldn’t even tell if he was screaming or not.  He was helpless.  He could feel what only could be described as his body fading.  He clenched his jaw and forced himself to open his eyes.  

Something was wrong.

Gaster looked out of the glass and saw the terrified expressions on his team’s faces.  Most of them were typing away on the panels as the room shook around them.  Gaster had not been prepared for what he witnessed next.

The room was bathed in white.  It was like some invisible force had lifted his team and thrown them back against the wall.  Their bodies disappeared in a blink of an eye, not even dust remained.  Gaster ignored the pain as he turned his attention to the center of the room.  The machine that kept the souls contained rocked as it split in two.  The arms containers smashed against the floor but did not release the souls.  For a moment Gaster felt relieved, he could salvage this.  There was still hope that he could still free-

It was like time had stopped.  At some point, the chamber that held him was ripped open from behind.  His restraints failed as they were the first to fly passed him.  It was like a suction, the last thing he had felt was his head slamming forward into the door in front of him before he felt weightless.

Above him was the crumbling ceiling of his laboratory.  The ringing in his head never stopped as he saw his soul above his body.  He watched as it faded to black and shatter before him.

He was going to die.

Gaster reached out to his soul one last time before something consumed him entirely.  He had managed to grasp a fragment of his shattered soul before it could scatter every which way before everything faded to black.

**~ * ~**

You stood silently as you watched the scene before you unfold.  You could feel Chara prying away at your consciousness with each moment that ticked by in this thread.  The thread replayed as you studied the scene before you.  How could you make this work?

You gasped as you felt a slender hand grip your arm.  You attempted to pull away but it was useless.  You knew Gaster would follow you here.  You turned to him and begged.

“It’s me!  The  _ real _ me!  I’m in control!  Please let me do this!” You hoped he would believe you.  You expected to turn and see his cold glare casting down upon you.  You didn’t expect to feel guilty.  You observed his sad expression as you felt a bit of guilt.  You could only imagine what Gaster could be feeling.

“If it was not you, my nightmare would end,” Gaster spoke softly.  

He soon released his hold on you before he took a step forward through the chaos and rubble.  As his old lab crumbled around him it was a surreal sight.  Gaster stood before the machine that housed the souls.  It was amazing, in a way how everything shattered around them but the souls remained contained in their glass cases.  

You held your breath as you reached into your pocket and felt the shard of what you believed was a part of Gaster’s soul.  Chara told you that you were dying.  Your soul was shattered, only being held together by Chara’s magic.  Gaster’s soul was shattered, frozen in time.  He wanted to leave this void of timeless space.  If he left, wouldn’t he die?

“You...you know what will happen…” You bit your lip as you tried to form the words.  Gaster turned to you.  He looked almost at peace and you couldn’t meet his gaze.  You focused at his feet as you stumbled over your thought, “If you were to leave...you know what would happen...to you, right?”  You still couldn’t say it.  You didn’t want to.

“I would die.”

You bit your cheek as his words sent a cold shiver down your spine.

“Then why?” Your voice cracked.  “Why would you do this?”

Did Gaster know all along then?  He wanted to use you so that he could die?  You couldn’t accept that.

“I always thought you hated me because you wanted to live.  You wanted your life back!  You wanted everyone not to forget you!  I don’t understand!  What is it that you really want?  What did you want from me?  What was this nightmare worth?  I just don’t get it!”  You let out your anger and you choked back a sob.  “Damn it…” You were crying again.  

“Do you understand what living means?” Gaster’s words silenced the noise from the thread.  All you could hear was the echo of his voice and the voice of Chara screaming in your head.  “Everyone and thing is born into this world.  You grow, you learn, you experience whatever life has to offer you.  Some are born into a more fortunate setting than others, but the quality of that life doesn’t make the value of another’s any less.  No matter how it starts there is always something that each life has in common with another.  They end.” 

Gaster had made it sound so simple.  It was a fact of life, everyone, everything thing, will die.  You knew that, but that’s not what this was about.  Gaster was trying to use you to die.  You just couldn’t understand it.

“I am frozen in a state between life and death.  My life was stolen from me when I came to this place. I have been here for what feels like an eternity.  I was alone with the constant reminder that my life amounted to nothing.  The very thing I worked my entire life to accomplish, I failed.”  Gaster turned away as the thread repeated itself.  The scientists that worked in the lab bustled to and fro checking out the machines and reading printouts as the Gaster in the thread checked over his own work.  “I admit, even now, that I hate you.  I hated that you walked along multiple resets in time unphased.  You, despite it all, threw everything away.  Isolated yourself.  We were similar, and at the time I did not understand why you called out to me so.  I know now that it was a piece of myself that drew me to you.  I don’t know how you came across that, all I can remember before I woke up here was seeing my shattered soul scatter.”

“Scatter?” You turned away from Gaster to pay attention to the thread again.  The point where Gaster from the memory was pulled from the machine and fall into the CORE.  You saw his reach out and grasp a tiny piece within his hand before the rest of his soul vanished into the space between time.  “Where did the rest go?”

_ I can show you. _

You held your breath as you focused on quelling Chara.  You had grown tired of being the puppet for others long ago.  After what felt like a few moments Chara’s reach retreated to allow yourself to breathe a sigh of relief once again.

_ What you’re doing is cruel.  I can grant his wish.  Just let me- _

“No!” You shouted.  No matter what, you couldn’t let Chara gain control.  You wouldn’t allow it.  You didn’t want anyone to die.  There had to be a way.  “This is what you wanted right?  You wanted me to find a way to get you out of this mess!  That doesn’t solve the problem!” 

What did solve the problem?  You didn’t know.  You couldn’t figure out how to fix this.  How could you make Gaster live through this?  There was nothing behind the chamber he was in to catch him as he was launched backward into the CORE.  What were you missing?

_ You can’t save him. _

“How would you even know?” You tried to ignore the child as you searched for anything you could alter.  You let out a startled yelp as you felt Gaster’s hand rest on your shoulder.  You quickly turned as he pulled his hand away.

“I did not mean to startle you.  What does not solve your problem?”  Your argument with Chara had attracted Gaster’s attention.  “Why are you viewing this thread in particular?”

_ He’s as good as dust.  Why save a failure like him anyway? _

This time you didn’t bite at Chara’s taunt.  You knew they were trying to distract you.  If you got too riled up, you would lose control for sure.

“I just...I thought I could save you…” You whispered softly.  You turned back just as you watched Gaster fall once again.  “I know I can’t understand everything that is happening here.  I still don’t fully understand what it is you’re trying to do here.” You paused as you turned back to the monster that had made your life a living nightmare ever since he had intruded into your soul.  You remembered the loneliness, the guilt, and his anger.  You recalled his memories, the little glimpses into his past.  “You said you had become a monster.  When I look at this when I look at what you’ve done?  I don’t see a monster.  You’re an asshole, and you’ve nearly ruined everything I had with Sans, but you don’t deserve this.  You don’t deserve to be forgotten.”

“This thread ends.  There were no other branching paths.” Gaster spoke matter of factly.

“The thread from when I came here was an end as well.  This isn’t a true end!” You turned back to the thread, more determined than before.  You could figure this out.

“You are an anomaly.  You did not belong to that timeline.”As Gaster spoke the thread for which he fell faded and he pulled you from it.  “Your time ended long ago.”

You refused to accept that.  You were alive.  If you weren't, Sans would have known.  “Then I'll fix that thread as well.  I didn't die back then, Gaster.  I am alive.  I have memories, people remembered me.  I existed.”  You paused as you realized what you said.  “I mean...even you...there is proof you existed.  There were pictures, your lab exists.  It was still there.  If proof like that is still there, there has to be a way for you to continue on as well.”

“I do not think you understand.  Even if a new thread was created, one where I never came to exist here.  What would happen to me?” Gaster held out his hand and picked out a few points in time after he had fallen.  “The time that I have spent here observing these threads, the changing timelines, the effects it has as a whole, what would happen to that information?  What would happen to you?  The lab, the demon that has become a plague to our universe, what happens then?”  Gaster paused as he held out a hand to his side, “Would you still even have met Papyrus and Sans in the first place?”

You didn’t think of that.

If Gaster didn’t fall, Sans and Papyrus would still be living with him.  It made sense at least.  Why would they split up their family?  The ad you placed a few months ago, wouldn’t have been answered.  You wouldn’t have met Sans, Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, Toriel, or even Frisk.

No...you met Sans and Frisk once before.  You met them when you went to the pharmacy.  It made you anxious thinking how you would have never opened your mind to letting others get close to you if it wasn’t for that second meeting.

“I would not blame you if you did not want to risk it.” Gaster’s tone was heavy.  

Maybe he wouldn’t blame you for being selfish now.  You could keep those memories of your friends, of the family you had become a part of.  Spending the holidays with Toriel.  The New Year’s confession with Sans.  Allow Sans to see you at your darkest moment in the hospital.  Having him see the real you for the very first time.

But that was all gone now, wasn’t it?  Time had already reset.

“Yes…” You said broken heartedly.  You took a deep breath and wiped away the heavy tears from your eye as your voice began to shake.  “You’re right.  Maybe I never meet Sans.  Maybe I continue my life of living in my shell just going day by day.  I don’t know what would have happened, but right now, I know it won't happen again.  Not while I’m here.  Not while  _ we’re _ here.”  You took a deep breath as you turned away from Gaster and held out your hand to beckon to Gaster’s final moments again.  You focused towards your core and prayed that what you were doing was right.  “I’ll rewrite a future where anything could be possible…”

You felt the warmth of your magic wrap around your fingertips before it extended to the thread before you.  When your magic touched the frame it shattered, sending an echo that rang out like broken glass as the pieces crumbled to the floor. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What could Reader possibly do to fix this?


	43. Patchwork

_How do you expect to make that happened?_  

You didn’t have all the answers now.  You knew you had a lot to figure out.  You didn’t want to let it stop you.  

_If you plan to fix everything, maybe you should focus on fixing him first._

You hated to admit it, but Chara was right.  Gaster’s soul had shattered.  The fragments were here somewhere.  The only question now was if collecting them would allow Gaster to retain his memories or not.  The only thing you were sure was that if you didn’t find the pieces, Chara could find them later.  You didn’t want to imagine what would happen if they did.

You glanced around at the empty space around you.  Shimmering surfaces of the threads floated off in every direction you looked.  You sighed softly as you pulled the fragment of Gaster’s soul from your pocket to take a good look at it.  It was almost black, nearly impossible to see if you held it out.  You would never find them this way.

_Getting discouraged already?  Ready to give up?_

“No...just...need to think.” You lightly gripped the shard in your hand, almost like you were protecting it.  You were startled once again when you felt Gaster’s hand rest upon your shoulder.  You took a deep breath before turning to look up at him.

“What purpose does shattering the threads serve?  I’ve seen you do this before.” Gaster spoke softly as he recalled his hand from your shoulder and knelt down to pick up a piece of shattered thread.

You shattered the thread that hid how you came to be here and a part of you feels that shattering the memories back when Sans had grabbed onto your soul.  Maybe the last one wasn’t related, but you still thought of it.  Each time, you felt that something was off.  Something just wasn’t right.  Shattering them brought clarity.

“It’s…” You paused as you struggled to find the right words, “It’s like putting a puzzle back together after seeing it.  I just...understand it.”  The more you thought about it, the more you realized what you had subconsciously been thinking.  “It’s comforting...It feels...better?”  You could tell Gaster didn’t understand, but you did.  You could feel a piece of yourself as if it were guiding you.  “I just can’t explain it.  I know I’m still figuring this out.  I know you don’t believe me when I tell you it’s not the end, but I truly believe it.  With every piece of me, Gaster, I know that there is another way.  I just...I...let me help you.”  

At first, Gaster did not speak.  He placed the shard from the thread back with the others as they disappeared below the two of you.  You could hear him take a deep breath and exhale slowly.  He was thinking.  After another moment, he turned to you as he laced his fingers together and allowed his hands to rest close to the middle of his body.

“The thread that you had _fixed_ earlier already held inconsistencies.  You had already come to be here.  You did not change the outcome.  I believe your time now would be better spent on dealing with that demon.”  You could hear the venom in his voice as he spoke.  

No, you knew that wasn’t true.  You heard yourself speak before you jumped into the CORE.  Your voice led you here.  He wasn’t there when you changed the color of the pendant.  You knew you could do this.

“I’ll prove you wrong…” You hissed under your breath as you turned away from him and took a few steps away.  

_You should just-_

“No Chara!  I’m not going to listen!”  You could feel their anger bubble up inside you, melding with your own as you squeezed the fragment in your hand.  When the wave of Chara’s overwhelming negative emotions passed you took a deep breath.

Why did you say that?  Why did you say you’d fix his future?  You couldn’t even figure out how to find the fragments of his soul.

“Gaster was drawn to this…” You spoke softly as you thought out loud.  You opened your hand and let it rest gently on the top of your palm.  

**_He said that his magic was being sealed._ **

You thought of something.

**_Chara?_ **

_Do not call me that!_

You ignored their anger and pressed forward.

**_You asked Gaster how he ended up back here, what did you mean?_ **

_So you’re finally interested?_

**_Yes!  You said that my soul swallowed him whole, you’re talking about his soul fragment, right?  What did you mean?_ **

_I meant it exactly how I said it, but I guess you’re not as dumb as I originally thought._

You didn’t like that thinly veiled compliment but you weren’t going to take Chara’s bait.  Not this easily anyway.

**_Care to explain?  You seem to understand a lot more than me when it comes to this soul stuff.  Did Gaster’s soul fragment really steal Gaster’s magic?_ **

_I don’t know._

**_What?_ **

You took a moment to clear your head.  You could have sworn that Chara was taunting Gaster about this.

_Look, I’m not able to answer that question.  I can only tell you what you already know.  A soul is what makes you, you.  It’s not so unlikely that it would want to be whole.  The piece you have, and the piece that Gaster has still made up the same monster.  I don’t think it’s really that hard to assume that the part of Gaster that possessed you earlier and the soul fragment you have now are now one and the same._

What Chara said made sense.  Maybe after all this time Gaster wasn’t really drawn to you, but to the fragment of his soul.  You still didn’t know how it came to be inside of you but for now, it didn’t matter.  You knew that you should give this fragment back to Gaster.  It was the right thing to do, and if you didn’t have it Chara couldn’t use it against him if they were to take control of you once again.  A part of you just couldn’t.

**_Maybe Gaster has an idea where to find the other pieces?_ **

You thought the request was reasonable, but Chara’s sudden pause followed by their loud laughter rang out through every fiber of your being.

_Are you stupid?  If it was that easy wouldn’t he have found his soul long ago?  How long has he been trapped here?  It could have been several lifetimes._

**_I’m not stupid.  Gaster didn’t know I had a piece of him.  Sans and the others couldn’t see it either._ **

You recalled the knowing looks that Bratty, Catty, Undyne, Alphys, and Toriel had all given you.  Monsters were sensitive to each other's souls.  They could see, no, maybe seeing wasn’t the right word.  They could sense your soul, and they could sense a trace of Sans’ magic upon it as well.  If they could detect that, why not a part of another’s soul?

**_You asked Gaster before why hasn’t he fallen.  I get it, if he leaves here, he will die.  If I am able to gather the fragments of his soul would you be able to fix it like you did mine?_ **

_Why should I?_

**_You want to leave here as well, right?_ **

You still didn’t have any intention of allowing Chara to return and continue hurting your friends.  They probably knew your intentions, but they didn’t acknowledge it.  After all, if you could return Gaster to the flow of time, Chara could probably use you to do the same.

**_If you’re wanting me to promise I’d do it you shouldn’t hold your breath._ **

You couldn’t help but smile.  That was probably going to be as close to a yes as you were going to get.  You took a deep breath and gripped the shard in your hand.  You were on a time limit.  Chara would only entertain you for so long before they regained strength and fought against you to gain control.

**_Can I use this to find the other pieces?_ **

_Maybe but it’s not like it could answer you._

Chara wasn’t wrong.  You refused to give up.  Before you, no, all around you memories, distant times, good and bad times, the fragments had to be out there.  It was silly to think they were just laying around.  They had to be masked, hidden from plain sight.  You weren’t a monster.  Sensing souls was just not an option for you.  If Chara could they probably would have found fragments while they hid in the darkness.

“The threads…” You whispered softly.  You winced and pressed your closed fist to your head as something you felt you had forgotten long ago resurfaced.

_~One day, he vanished without a trace.  They say he shattered across time and space.~_

Though foggy, you could make out a strange monster standing before you.  Any trace of color removed, their voice sounded distant, as if they weren’t talking to you.  Their movements were stiff and something about them just felt off.  They watched you, and the smile they had fell.  The corner of their mouth twitched as they nervously laughed.

_~How could you say so without fear?  I’m holding a piece of him right here.~_

For a quick moment, you saw the reflection of the orange and red light off a tiny black gem before the memory was gone.  You gasped as you realized that the monster held a piece of Gaster’s soul.

**_When?  Where was that?  Who?_ **

They looked familiar, but you don’t remember meeting them.  You were sure if you did you would recall where.

_They were in Hotland._

It wasn’t your memory.  No, of course not.  

**_Chara?_ **

_You still haven’t earned the right to call me that!_

You could feel Chara’s agitation subside as they took a moment to calm down before speaking again.

It was a long time ago...a few resets ago.  You’ve seen them before.  They were there in his lab when everything went wrong.

You quickly recalled the memory.  You remember seeing the Cheshire grinning monster, who looked lively, full of color, gone instantly when the magic burst from the CORE.

**_Wasn’t he-_ **

_I dunno.  Everything surrounding them is strange.  They were there one moment, gone the next.  They spoke in riddles and at the time I didn’t pay much attention to them.  Something was just off about them.  They didn’t even have souls._

**_All we need to do is go and ask him for the piece, right?_ **

“We found a piece of your soul.  We’re going to get it back.” You didn’t turn but you spoke softly to him.  You closed your good eye and concentrated on that memory.  It was difficult.  You didn’t know Gaster’s assistant’s name nor did Chara provide much detail on that particular memory.  You felt a hand gently tap your shoulder.  Maybe Gaster still didn’t believe you could do it, but his gesture spoke volumes to you.  He wasn’t going to let you go alone.  You took a deep breath and opened your eye to see a lone thread before you.  

There were no words shared as you stepped through into the record of time.  You felt the humid heat and the bright light blinded you the moment you could see.  

“Why do you believe now, of all records, that this one is special.” Gaster’s hand didn't leave your shoulder as you rubbed your eye and waited for your vision to adjust.

“One of your assistants has a piece of your soul.  We are going to ask for it back.” You waited until you saw the familiar child you knew as Frisk approach.  

You vaguely remember this place but you did remember that this was near the CORE.  You didn't miss the heat in Hotland, even if it was a welcomed change from the cold in Snowdin.  Behind you was the elevator you believed you used when you came to Hotland with Sans and Frisk.

“An assistant?  That can't be possible.” You could hear the disbelief in his voice.  You chose not to say anything and instead followed Frisk as they boarded the elevator.  

The elevator ride was silent.  Frisk waited patiently for the ride to stop and didn't hesitate as they bolted out once the doors opened.  You still held the fragment of Gaster's soul in your hand.  You didn't want to lose it and quickly secured it in your pocket before chasing after Frisk.

You suddenly stopped as Frisk stop dead in their tracks.  Before them was a monster that you believe you had seen before.  They were short and they stared blankly off across the platform.  You watched as Frisk took small strides as they passed the monster.  They received no reaction and Frisk stopped and turned back to approach them.  They put on a friendly smile and approached the monster.  You weren’t sure if Frisk had tried to speak with them but as Gaster left the elevator his jaw slacked.

_~It makes sense why Asgore took so long to hire a new Royal Scientist.  After all, the old one… Doctor Gaster.  What an act to follow!_

You stood silently as they spoke.  They wore a vacant smile and when Gaster approached they seem to acknowledge him.  Their smile widened as they spoke.

_~They say he created the CORE._

The smile they wore, however, did not last long.  Their shoulders slumped and their gaze fell from Gaster to look at the ground.

_~However, his life...was cut short.  One day, he fell into his creation, and…_

They stopped as they looked back up at Gaster.

_~Will Alphys end up the same way?_

Frisk must have continued to try and talk to them, but they only repeated the last question.  You approached Gaster who had stood still for so long.  He was at a loss for words as he stared blankly at his assistant.  As got closer you saw the lights of his eyes had gone dark and you hesitated as you reached to gently tug on his sleeve.  

“Come on.” You said quietly and gently led him away to catch up with Frisk.

_Didn’t he watch all of this before?  Why is he surprised now?_

You didn’t know.  You turned back to look passed Gaster as a flash of bright light blinded you for a moment.  When the light was gone so was the assistant.  You would watch this back later but for now following Frisk was more important.  As you went to turn you saw a bit of yellow disappear into the ground and instantly froze.

_What?  Come on.  We’re going to lose Frisk if you keep hesitating._

It didn’t seem like Chara noticed what you saw.  You shook your head and followed after Frisk.  Gaster was silent as the returned to the elevator just in time for Frisk to tap the button to go to another section of Hotland.  When the doors opened you could already see another familiar monster outside the doors.  

Guilt or maybe it was regret?  You weren’t sure but Gaster’s expression grew darker as the next assistant began speaking.  Their eyes wildly searched the space around them, not able to focus on any one thing in particular.  This assistant was a larger monster.  Their mouth made up the largest portion of their head with a half crooked smile.  They spoke the same as the other until their tone shifted and their eyes focused on Gaster.

_~Well, I needn’t gossip.  After all, it’s rude to talk about someone who’s listening._

Frisk turned to see who the assistant was looking at.  You knew that they couldn’t see you, but it still felt strange when Frisk looked directly through you.  You did notice again how Gaster’s assistant once again disappeared into a foreign source of light.

_There wasn’t a light before.  I would have noticed that for sure._

The white light was similar to that of a prolonged camera flash.  You couldn’t see how anyone would miss it.  The strange way the monsters responded though brought up many questions.

“Are they acting the same when you originally met them?” You spoke out loud to yourself.  Chara was silent and you could tell they were trying to recall if that was the case.

_I believe so?  They never really seemed all there.  They picked up on some of what Frisk asked them, but they would go off on their own thoughts.  Not really speaking to anyone in particular.  They vanished after that and never saw them again.  They weren’t in the other resets as well._

“Gaster?” You spoke his name quietly as he watched another one of his assistants disappear.  “Are you okay?”

“Why are they here?  How?  I saw them…” Gaster trailed off as the lights returned to his eyes as he began to run through the possibilities in his head.  You gently pulled on his sleeve as Frisk began to move again.  After he began to move you tugged on his left hand and guided it to your shoulder.

“So you don’t get left behind.” Gaster nodded as you spoke.   

As you entered the elevator again and Frisk pressed the button for R1 you couldn’t help but wonder what Frisk was doing.

**_Why are they here?  I thought Frisk was heading to the barrier?_ **

_They were looking for something.  I normally just let them do whatever they wanted when we weren’t fighting.  When it became too much I would take over, and well, you know what happened from there._

You hated to think about it but Chara like prodding those memories. You lightly shook your head and turned your attention back to Gaster.  His hand still firmly grasped your shoulder and the grief that he emanated earlier was replaced with a bit of confusion.  You were going to open your mouth to get his attention when the elevator slowed as it came to its destination.  Gaster’s attention snapped to the opening door and you could feel his grip tighten painfully on your shoulder.

“When you mentioned that you had found a piece of my soul, were you lying?” Gaster spoke allowed to himself.  

You were taken aback by this sudden question and you didn’t understand what he meant until Frisk ran by you and out towards a figure barely visible from the doors.  It was them.  Their back was to you but you were certain they were the one you were looking for.

_~Alphys might work faster.  But the old Royal Scientist, Doctor W.D. Gaster?_

The face shrouded in darkness spoke as their Cheshire grin reached high on both sides of their face.

_~One day, he vanished without a trace._

As they spoke their body bounced back and forth in a rhythm that you could just barely catch.

_~They say he shattered across time and space._

_We’re not going to get a chance to grab the fragment!_

You watched as Frisk furrowed their brow and sign something you couldn’t quite catch.  The grin of the monster grew even wider than you thought imaginable.  Right away you noticed the same white light from earlier begin to illuminate at their feet.

_Take it when they show it!  Hurry!_

“What?  What do you mean?” You couldn’t help but jump at Chara’s sudden outburst.  Gaster’s attention turned from his former assistant to you as he cautiously watched you.

The monster before you laughed lightly as they looked up passed Frisk and spoke off into the distance.

_~How can I saw so without fear?_

_They disappeared right in front of us!  You have to grab it now!_

The light at the monster’s feet seemed to begin to consume them and you felt the urgency of the situation.  You took a few steps forward as Gaster’s hand slipped from your shoulder.  When you could no longer feel his grip you felt your legs carry you faster down the stairs as you reached out towards the monster 

_~I’m holding a piece of him right here._

Your hand firmly gripped their wrist as they jumped in surprised.  You felt Gaster’s hand grip your shoulder once more before the white light swallowed you whole.

**~ * ~**

A thousand thoughts and memories flooded your senses.  Everything hurt and you couldn’t breathe.  You couldn’t speak.  You were trapped.  You saw your family, your old school, friends, and pets flash before you.  You felt the heat of the fire, the agonizing pain, and the terrible treatments you endured as a child.  

You felt the loneliness, the forced isolation as you closed everyone out, swearing that you were fine on your own.  You saw the library, the children that gathered at your feet as you read stories to them.  The panic and pain you felt when a small child saw your face.  You recalled the words from others spoken under their breaths.  You felt the painfully tight grip of the hand of the boy who harassed you and assaulted you at the park.  It was endless, the numbness you felt as you recalled everything.  

But there was something else…

As fast as you felt the smothering pain, you felt your stomach flutter as you recalled the shame from when Sans presented you the medicine bottle on the bench in the park.  The shame you had felt had slowly melted away as Sans gently grabbed your hand and knelt down in the snow just to force you to look at him.  His smile warmed your heart and the loneliness you had felt gave way to a need for companionship.  You wanted to trust him.  You wanted that more than anything.

You recalled just how tightly Sans held you as he forced open the door to your bathroom.  His and Papyrus’ hold on you assured you that it would be okay, even if you couldn’t speak.  It wasn’t just that.  You recalled texts that made you smile.  The moments Sans would catch you daydreaming.

You saw Grillby’s bar.  You remembered how things were awkward between you and Sans and how he helped you out of your coat at the door.  The hoots and hollers from his friends as the two of you realized you stood below some mistletoe.  You felt the strong need to impress Sans’ and Papyrus’ friends and you made the stupidest decision to drink that led to your secret becoming known to all of them.

You felt the relief when Sans learned of your accident.  He understood everything.  The pain, the loneliness, the lack of self-confidence.  It didn’t matter.  He accepted you.  He saw the image of you that you had hated so much and held you so tightly.  

At some point, you fell in love.

_Wake up!_

You gasped as you felt strength return to your body.  Your hand gripped at your collar as you finally were able to take in what was around you.

_You are giving me a headache!  Get a hold of yourself!  I can’t believe you’re letting this all get to you._

You could hear Chara’s voice as the memories and voices dulled to the back of your head.  Your hand moved from your collar to your head as you lightly pressed against your temple as you took deep breaths.

**_What was that?_ **

_Don’t know but you should take a look at what’s going on._

You noticed quickly the lack of any other sounds.  Your ears began to ring and you focused on the glowing floor beneath you.  Not too far away from you, Gaster stood before his former assistance.  They all wore smiles but refused to speak.

You couldn’t stay on the ground forever.  As the pain subsided you pushed yourself to your feet and stumbled towards Gaster.

“Where are we?” You reached out and gently tugged on Gaster’s sleeve as he turned to acknowledge you.  Right away you noticed the look of grief written on his face.  He turned to you and the corner of his mouth twitched.

“I am unsure.  I am unfamiliar with this place.” Gaster spoke quietly as he turned his attention back to the vacant-eyed monsters before you.

You cautiously looked around at the strange space you were in.  The silence around you bothered you the most.  It allowed the distant voices in the back of your head to resurface until you shook them away.  

Get what we came for.

“Oh!” You let go of Gaster’s sleeve as you moved around to his right to approach the monster with the Cheshire grin.  “Excuse me?” You said softly, hoping to get their attention.  You were surprised when both the head on their shoulders and the one in their hand turned to look up at you.

_~We were going to set all of Monsterkind free.  Too bad what happened we couldn’t foresee._

You turned back to look up at Gaster as he watched his assistance before speaking slowly.

“I had thought they were truly gone.  The ones you see before us do share a resemblance with my former staff.  I had dared hoped I could speak freely with them and…” Gaster trailed off as he lost the words he wanted to say.  He cleared his throat and pressed forward either way, “These soulless shells only mimic and repeat what their former selves knew.  They may replicate their speech and quirks but they are not the same as they were.”

You turned back to the monster you knew held a piece of Gaster.  That was the reason you had come here, to begin with.  You couldn’t help but think about the words that Gaster had said about them.  You couldn’t imagine, no, didn’t want to imagine what it could possibly be like to speak with someone you knew was gone.  You forced the thought out of your head as you spoke up.

“You said you had a piece of Gaster.  Please return it.” You could see Gaster fidget at your words.  

The monster before you grinned as they held up their hand which held the head.  It smiled widely before opening its mouth wide to stick out its large tongue.  At first you were taken aback, but on the top of it’s tongue was the familiar black fragment you had come to know.  You gently held out your hand as they dropped it into your open palm.

That was easy.  You mouthed the words for thank you before you stumbled verbally on them.  You couldn’t contain the smile you had.  You were making progress, one step closer to proving to Gaster that you could do this.  You turned to him and held out your hand to offer the fragment.  It was a little jarring when you heard a the laugh inches from your ear before they spoke.  You turned suddenly to meet face to face with the Monster.

_~To find all the shards, shatter them all.  You must do this after his fall._

As quickly as their words registered with you the group that resembled Gaster’s former assistants disappeared.  Their words startled and confused you to the point where you almost missed Gaster taking the fragment from your hand.

“How did you know?  Where did--” Gaster stammered as you returned your focus back to him.

“It was Cha-” You felt Chara’s anger boil up from within you as you quickly bit your tongue.  “It was their memories.  I was able to recall it earlier.  I don’t know how, they just had it.” You couldn’t get passed what the one told you earlier.  Shatter them all?  What did they mean?

_Your stupidity frustrates me to no end._

**_Care to explain then?_ **

_Don’t we have something else more important to worry about right now?  Like fixing his soul?_

You let out a frustrated sigh.  They were right.  You have a total of three parts and who knew exactly how many more were out there.

_Let me take control.  This place has a flow of time.  I could use it to-_

**_No._ **

You wouldn't fall for that so easily.  As long as you willed it, you refused to allow Chara to regain control.  You couldn't trust them with Gaster's soul.

**_I’ll do it._ **

_Don't make me laugh!  You can't even use your own magic properly.  How do you expect to use mine?  Gaster may have talked you through using his magic before but don't think using my magic will come that easily to you.  They’re completely different!_

A part of you knew that was true.  You couldn't expect Chara to just tell you how to use their magic.  No.  They want you to willing relent control so that they can do what they pleased.  You took a deep breath and held out your hand to Gaster.  

Chara said that your magic was similar to Gaster’s but you disagreed.  Gaster’s magic was a poison.  His “simulation” was only an extension of it.  It created illusions that left lasting effects.  Each spot that he had struck your body as he fought Chara still burned.

“What are-” Gaster spoke quickly as he looked at you and your hand questioningly.

“They helped fix my soul a while ago.  I don’t trust them to help you for...obvious reasons.  Just trust me.” You gently urged as you patiently waited for Gaster to give you a sign.  He didn’t say a word but you let out a sigh of relief when he held out his hands before him.  It took a moment but the shard that remained of his own soul appeared between the palms of his hands.  “Thank you.”

You took a deep breath and recalled the feeling.  You had been in so much pain at the time and had to deal with the overwhelming emotional baggage that Chara carried, but you remembered feeling whole afterwards.

Theirs and your magic illuminated the tips of your fingers as it reached out to encase Gaster’s soul.  You wanted to fix it, you intended to fix it.  You imagined the shape of what his soul should look like, only smaller.  You were going to fix what was broken, meld them together.

In the back of your head you heard the distant sound of a second hand echo.  It was slow, off beat.  It reminded you of when it would get stuck and just bounce backward on the same second, unable to move forward.  

You didn’t need time to start again.  It didn’t exist here.  You needed it to reset.  You needed to wind by the clock to restore Gaster’s soul.  You took a deep breath and kept the concept of the clock hands spinning backwards as your magic began to stitch Gaster’s soul back together.

When the theoretical clock you had imagined lined up something within you cracked.  You heard Gaster cry out in pain and you quickly pulled your hand away.  The sound of the clock had faded and the magic that had illuminated your fingertips had faded away.

“Are you okay?  Did I hurt you?” You stumbled over your words.

Not too far away from you Gaster had curled in on himself.  His hands tightly gripped his chest and his breaths were ragged.  After a moment he gasped as he took a deep breath as his hands moved away from his chest.  Between the gaps in his fingers you could see the faint white light that he was holding.  Gaster’s pained expression lightened as his mouth slowly fell open as he stared into his open palms.  He didn’t say a word, but you couldn’t help the warm feeling in your chest you felt as you fell back onto the floor and let out the breath you didn’t know you were holding.

_That was incredibly sloppy.  I’m surprised you didn’t kill him._

You sighed softly as you looked back up at Gaster.  You did it.

**_I didn’t, he’s still here.  Just goes to show you that I can even use your magic if I concentrate on it enough._ **

The thought stuck with you for a moment until you heard the creaking off behind Gaster.  You leaned to the side to get a peek at what that could be.  The sound of Gaster’s assistance hadn’t made that sound and you were honestly expecting one of them, not…

“Frisk!?” You couldn’t believe it.

**_What’s going on?_ **

You demanded in your head as you watched as the small child who stood in the door of white light.  Many questions ran through your head as you watched as they slowly took a few steps into the room.  They looked to their left and right before looking forward.  You watched as their brows furrowed as they continued forward cautiously.

_This is messed up._

You were taken back by Chara’s tone.  They were confused, confused about what?  What exactly was going on?  Did Frisk really come here before or is this something new?

Frisk stopped a few steps behind where Gaster was.  They looked up and you had thought it was through them.  You were wrong.  They reached out and lightly tugged on Gaster’s robe.  They didn’t notice you or maybe they just couldn’t see you.  Either way, you heard clearly in your head the words that Frisk’s soul was speaking.

_“Are you okay?”_

This time, it was Gaster who was startled.  His soul that he had given his full attention until now was gone in an instant as he turned around and looked down at the child.  He took one step back and nearly stumbled over you before he caught his balance.

Whatever just happened you couldn’t take your eye off Frisk.  They were startled by Gaster’s reaction but they soon unfocused on Gaster before them as they looked around the room.

I’m sorry!  I didn’t mean to scare you!  Are you still there?

“Gaster?” You whispered quietly.  If Frisk heard you, they showed no signs of it.  Gaster stood still before checking his robe.  When he was done he turned back to you with a face that showed his disbelief.

“How?” Gaster was just as much at a loss as you were.

Frisk turned and they left the room the same way they had come in, through the portal of light.  Gaster didn’t waste any time as he grabbed your wrist and held out his hand.  It wasn’t long until he pulled you to your feet and pulled you back to the space between time.  You stumbled as he let go of your wrist and turned to examine the thread that the two of you had just left.

“Waterfall?” Gaster spoke to himself before turning towards you.  “Tell me, what did you just do?”

“I used their magic to fix the piece of your soul.” You answered quickly.

“Then how?  How could they see me?  How could they _touch_ me?” Gaster was a mix of overwhelmed and excited.  This was a completely different version of the monster you had knew up until this point.  His eye lights were bright, the corners of his mouth with turned up.  It was almost like he had regained hope.

“Their magic reset the timelines before.  They used it on my soul to reset my soul.  I don’t know how to explain it all that well…” You began before Gaster pulled you back to your feet.

“We left from a different thread we entered.  We entered here,” Gaster spoke quickly as he waved his free hand calling upon the record of time you had entered into before, “and we exited here.  This is in Waterfall.”  Gaster’s eyes darted back and forth as he examined the mirrored records of time.  “Time has always been connected.  They always followed a specific order, always in a line.  Even with the many diverging timelines they still followed the same flow.  However, this one is different.  It’s linked to a separate part in time.”

You sat there quietly as Gaster went on about this discovery.  A lot of what he was saying was lost to you.  You nodded your head and followed his hands as he motioned to where you were supposed to look.  Despite that, you couldn’t help but smile as you felt his excitement.  

“Thank you.” Gaster’s tone shifted so suddenly it startled you.  He never turned to face you, but instead spoke quietly as his hand rested gently over his chest.  “Just having this one piece...how to say...I am feeling a bit more like myself.  Whole…”

“You’re welcome.” You couldn’t help but smile.  You still had a lot of his soul to find.  You couldn’t just stop there.

“Where else do you intend to look?” Gaster looked out at the sea of records.  

That was a good question.  Besides the memory that Chara had you had no clue where else to begin looking.  The thought must have conveyed something across your face and you felt your heart sink as Gaster’s mood fell.

“They’re here...your assistants or the shadows of them.” You cleared your throat as you tried to carefully choose your words.  “They said you were scattered across time and space.  That’s this place.  It makes sense since this is where you ended up after you fell-”

_~You must do this after his fall._

Those words struck you and you couldn’t help but echo them back.

“What was that?” Gaster turned his attention back towards the threads, calling upon the one the moment that brought him here in the first place.

“It’s what they told me.  Shatter them all?  I don’t get-” You paused as you looked up at the thread before Gaster and looking around you.  “Shatter them all…” You echoed back again.  It clicked.  “Shatter the threads!” You nearly yelled as you stumbled passed Gaster and reached out to place your hand on the thread.

“What are you talking about?” You could hear the irritation return to his voice as he demanded you answer.

“Before they disappeared, the one who had a piece of your soul told me to shatter them all.  I think they meant the threads.  It’s the only thing that made sense.” You looked around trying to mentally count just how many threads there could have been.  “It would take too long to each one individually.  There’s just too much to ever possibly find your soul that way.”

“If you are implying that you are going to shatter the threads again, how would that help?  You’ve shattered this one and others before.” Gaster asked.  

You’ve already explained it before to him.  You didn't know what else you could add to it.  It just made sense to you.  

In a way, the threads reminded you of a freshly broken bone that wasn't set properly by a professional.  In some cases, if it was wrong the professional would need to retake it to set it properly to heal.  The threads were broken.  Things didn't flow smoothly and what should have been wasn't.  You didn't want to believe that ending up here was truly what was meant for Gaster.

“Please just let me fix this…” You spoke softly as you began to picture in your head what you wanted to happen.  You imagined an invisible thread that connected each record of time together.  It was a mess, a tangled mess.  You took a deep breath as you felt your magic extend from the tips of your fingers.

_You don't have the strength to do this yourself._

You needed to do this.  You were the only one who could.  You couldn't ask for help.

_“You do things your own way.  I get that you’ve been on your own for a long time, but that’s not the case any longer.“_

Sans’ words rung loudly in your head.  You felt your hand twitch as your magic waived.  

_“You’re a part of our family now.  You don’t need to do everything alone anymore.”_

You haven’t changed at all.  How many times have you promised to do better only to fall back into your old ways?  You didn't need to do this alone.  There were others who cared for you, supported you.  You kept them at an arm’s length.  You were afraid to ask for help.

You always wanted to prove that you were strong enough.  If you asked for help you always thought it would show a sign of weakness.  You would lose the fight.  That wasn’t the case though.  Asking for help wouldn’t make you weak.

**_Can you help me?_ **

It was like a gate had opened.  You felt the warmth of their magic overflow within you as your magic flared up within you.  You couldn’t contain it all.  You were surprised just how easily Chara lent their magic to you.  Earlier, you only tapped into the surface of their magic as you merge Gaster’s soul fragments together.

_Let's see what you can really do._

The sound of breaking glass echoed in the blackness all around you.  One by one the shards of the records of time fell and slipped through the invisible ground, melting away into nothingness.  In an instant, everything was silent and the quiet began to roar loudly in your ears.

You opened your eye as the world spun for a moment and you felt a gentle hand press against your back.  You were at a loss for words as you stared out at the glistening fragments separated from the records of time.you felt your legs shake as you collapsed to the floor.  

You looked out into the blackness and was at a loss for words at what you could see.  Hundreds, if not thousands of fragments glimmered in places where the threads once were.

“How?” Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Gaster take a few steps forward.  He spun around and reached out as the prices one by one returned to his side.  In the moment of his disbelief he turned to look at you.  

You couldn't help but smile as you pushed yourself up onto your feet.  You took a moment to take in this scene one more time before holding out your hand.  In it you held the last shard.

“This belongs to you.” You didn't hesitate like before.  You held your hand out for Gaster as he gently took the final price of his soul.  The usual frown his face relaxed to turned into a smile as his clasped both of his hands around yours.

“Thank you.” His words were airy as he closed his eyes.  After a moment he took his hands away from yours and held them gently to his chest.  A moment later he pulled them away to reveal his fragmented soul to you.

You didn't need to be asked you nodded as you held your hand out towards his soul.  You closed your eyes and the sound of the distant ticking clock echoed louder than before.  With Chara’s help it felt easier to reset Gaster’s soul to how it used to be.  You imagined the shape of Gaster’s soul as the hands of the clock began to spin backward.

Everything felt slower.  The hands on the clock finally aligned at the top and you felt yourself jerking back away from Gaster.  You could hear ringing in your ears as you struggled to focus on Gaster in front of you.  He was clutching his chest and his eyes were screwed shut.  You took this moment to rest to allow the ringing to stop.  After a bit Gaster moved his hands and you couldn’t help but smile.  The pure white soul that emitted the vibrant violet light pulsed brightly in his hands.  It would have been perfect if it wasn’t for the one shard Gaster still held in his hands.

“I’m sorry, let me-”

“No, this is fine for now,” Gaster spoke up quickly.  He continued to watch his soul as he cradled it carefully.  “I feel almost whole.  Thank you.”

You nodded as you took a deep breath.

_You’re using too much magic at once.  You’re going to-_

**_I can’t stop now.  I still have to finish what I started._ **

You took another deep breath.  You were happy to see life had returned to Gaster’s soul and all except the one fragment had regained it’s pure color.  Gaster was right, you could fix it later.  For now, you set your sight on the single thread that still remained intact.  You heard movement on your right as you turned your head to see the familiar blaster.  It’s mouth opened slightly then closed before it drew closer and gently nipped at the bottom of your shirt close to your hip.  You couldn’t help but chuckle and gently pet it.

“Everything will be okay.  Thank you for sticking by my side.”  You saw Gaster approach you and before he could speak you turned and offered your hand to him.  “Let’s fix this, shall we?”

You didn’t wait for him to answer as you smiled once more to the blaster before you disappeared into the thread that had started this all.  Immediately you felt the head from the center of the CORE.  It took you a moment to focus but you knew where you were.  Behind you was the machine where Gaster would enter.  After his assistants start the machine and everything begins to fall apart.

“We need to find something that’s wrong.  Something that was different from what you remembered.” You spoke quickly as time flowed around you.  Gaster’s assistants ran to and fro checking on the machines as they have done before.  “Maybe there was something overlooked-”

“There was nothing out of place.  Everything was perfect.” Gaster spoke softly as he watched as the souls were attached to the machine one by one in the middle of the room.

“Nothing is perfect, Gaster.  Something was missed...something-”

“No.” Gaster was quick to respond.  “I’ve spent a lot of time here, replaying this moment over and over.  I have watched this unfold more times then I can admit to remember.  Every angle, every piece of data that was available to me, to us, was correct.  There is nothing that could have prepared us for the amount of magical energy the human souls had released.”  Gaster approached the extraction machine in the middle and placed his hands on it  “I had personally calibrated the machine to withstand the souls as I knew them then.  If I had known about DETERMINATION maybe I could have...no.  I don’t believe even if I did learn about DETERMINATION, I do not think I could have done anything.”

“We can’t just give up.” You refused.  There had to be something.

_I’ve seen this machine before._

“Hmm?” You were surprised but curious to what Chara had to say.

_This machine is in Sans’ basement.  It’s broken, but I’m sure this is it._

**_The machine the souls are attached to?_ **

_No, stupid.  The other one._

You turned away from the machine that the souls were attached to and looked over at the machine that Gaster would soon enter into. You figured you would probe your Gaster for information.

“Doesn’t Sans have this machine...if you were removed, how would he have this?  Where did he get it?” You spoke slowly as you tried to collect your thoughts.

“Why does the CORE still exist if I do not?  There are traces of my accomplishments still within the multiple timelines that you have already seen.  I cannot explain why, but we can only accept it for as it is.  As for the machine, no, Sans does not have this one.  Did you not see the broken shell when you came across this lab?”  Gaster had left the machine with the souls and approached the machine that would hold him.  “Sans had attempted to reconstruct a machine from a blueprint, just as Alphys attempted to reconstruct the extraction machine.  The ones here still exist only undisturbed.  Ruins to the failed project.”

The souls weren't here.  Asgore kept them.  How can he explain that?

“What about the souls?  Didn't your King have them in the timeline?” You asked, curious to know the answer as well.

“I chose this place for a reason.  The mixture of concentrated magic and thermal natural energy is strong here.  Magic isn't held to the same laws that physical matter is held to.  This magic is not the parlour tricks humans have coined the term for, no, this magic, this lifeforce, is immeasurable.  It has the power to alter time itself.  It’s not a secret that one human mage could fell hundreds of monsters.”  Gaster turned to you and sighed as he saw the the obviously lost expression.  “To put it simply, there is no concrete answer I can give you.  I can only theorize and come up with the what if’s but I cannot answer your question.  I do not know.  I am sure you remember what the Queen had told you.  Human’s magic have the power to make miracles happen.  The same can be said for tragedies.  They are two parts of the same coin.  What happened to me may be seen as a tragedy, but where the souls have ended up can be considered a miracle for them.”

You were more confused than before but the answer wasn’t going to be simple.  You knew that Chara could reset the timeline.  You’ve stood witness to the thousands of records of time within the space between each record.  You’ve played part in altering current timelines and you plan to alter this record of time as well.  It wasn’t too farfetched to believe that time line had been fragmented.  Discrepancies would happen.  You thought of old film cameras where you would snap pictures over rolls of film that had previously been captured would meld two images together.  Capturing two separate pieces of time into one picture.  It’s not exactly the same, but that’s how you chose to think about it 

“Alright, so this machine that is here...what was left of it?” You walked up to the machine Gaster stood at and looked it over as you tried to remember what you saw.

“Most of the outside was intact.  The back of the machine as well as the seat that held me was lost to the mixture below the CORE.” Gaster motioned towards the back of the room where you recalled Gaster had fallen from and you had followed.

You and Gaster moved aside as the Gaster from this timeline approached the machine to get ready for things to start.

“If we keep the machine mostly intact do you think that would work?” You walked around to the back as the door shut on the other Gaster.  Your Gaster followed you behind the machine and inspected the area where the cables were attached.

“It's possible, but how?” Gaster wasn't with you when you made the small changes to your timeline.

You placed your hand on the machine and closed your eye as you began to focus on your magic within your core.  

“We will use my magic.  Trust me.” You would need more than just your magic.  You would need to borrow some of Chara’s again if you were going to do this.

The sound of the machine before you came to life as everything began.  You took a deep breath, it now going to be now, or never.  At first, everything was normal with no signs anything would go wrong, but you knew.  It would change in an instant.  You just weren’t prepared for how suddenly it would happen.  The first cable burst above you and you let out a surprised yelp as you instinctively ducked.  You huddled on the floor next to the machine as Gaster’s dark shadow stood over you.  His hand grabbed your shoulder as he pulled you back so that your eyes could meet.  There was no were shared between the two of you but you nodded as he helped you back to your feet.

You grounded your feet and Gaster took his place behind you.  He couldn’t physically help you but placed one hand against the machine and kept one to tightly grip your shoulder.  You summoned your magic once again and braced yourself for what was to come.  You couldn’t let Chara’s magic overwhelm you again.  You needed to use just enough.   

You stood behind the machine and heard the creaking of the metal bending at it’s seams as everything began to fall apart.  You held your hand out, desperately holding it back.  Gaster stood behind you and soon you could feel the magic from his own soul lend you the strength you needed to keep you in place.  Chara’s magic was powerful, even now, amongst all this chaos, you had to remain in control.  Your magic began to guide it to the machine and you imagined the metal returned to the state it once was in.   

You felt a sudden search of magic behind you and the chamber that held Gaster lurched backwards.  You were glad Gaster was there.  He kept you steady as the worst of it began.  The moment where the back of the machine would have been ripped off and pull Gaster to his fate was approaching.  It would be over soon.

Chara’s magic flared up within you as you silently pleaded.  

**_Stay together…_ **

**_Don’t fall…_ **

When the lights went out around you and the pull of the cables had stopped you couldn’t bring yourself to open your eye.  You were afraid to look, afraid to find out if what you tried to do had failed.  You felt Gaster’s hand leave your shoulder and you assumed that it had failed.

**_No…_ **

When you finally gathered the courage to look you were at a loss for words.

It worked.  Gaster didn’t fall.

The room continued to shake, and the lights flickered off as the alarm echoed in the distance.  The lights from the console in the front of the room dimmed as the power was cut.

“The automatic meltdown shut off sequence has been activated…” Gaster spoke incredulously.  “Someone is shutting down the CORE…”

You didn’t wait to see who would come, as the magical energy behind you settled and the whine of the CORE whined down you quickly ran from the spot you had been rooted and ran to the front to peer inside of the chamber.  You smiled as you watched Gaster lay unconscious inside and couldn’t contain an excited cry.  “You didn’t fall Gaster!  We did it!  You-”

You peeked around the chamber where Gaster once stood, only realizing now that you were alone.  You were still here left with only a fragment of Gaster’s soul left in his place.

As the sound of footsteps echoed behind you, you couldn’t help but notice the room begin to spin.

You used too much magic...I warned you!

You didn’t even have the strength to banter with Chara.  You felt yourself collapse to the floor and sleep quickly took control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 9132 words...
> 
> I'm exhausted but I'm glad I finally got this out to you guys. Sorry it took so long, and sorry if the ending of this chapter was rushed. This chapter was difficult and I wanted to get this done so that I could move onto what happens next.
> 
> I mentioned on Tumblr the next chapter will be more Sans focused, so we'll see what happened here and we'll return to reader with the next chapter. Gonna take a day's break and finally move forward to getting back to romance.
> 
> You can poke me at my tumblr where I do post update information of when I'm working on a chapter. I'm terrible at guesstimating when I'll be done. It all depends on how focused I can be. I was determined to be done today and glad I was able to do it. 
> 
> https://kioribug.tumblr.com/


	44. A Miracle

Sans let out a deep sigh as he stood facing the morning’s warm sun.  It had only been a few weeks but he still missed it.  He hated the Underground.  He hated the prison and he was so glad that they were free once again.

He had hoped to finally know how Frisk broke the barrier. He wanted to be witness to the single miracle that brought his family and friends freedom.  Despite his firm convictions he had blacked out again.  The same mysterious sleep after being captured by that damn flower had taken hold of him.  He, along with the others, had awakened long before Frisk and the barrier had fallen.

This time he would get answers from Frisk for sure but for now, he needed to rest.  Sans took a seat at the side of the cliff as everyone stood on the cliffside of Mt. Ebbot overlooking the beautiful forest below.  The city in the distance looked so quiet from here.  Sans felt a pain in his soul for a short moment.

When he first looked out to the city for the first time he had never known he would meet someone like you.  Sans didn’t know what to expect at first when they would meet with the humans at first.  He was worried.  

Papyrus had been the first to approach the human township at the bottom of Mt. Ebbot.  People were afraid of him.  That was an understatement.  Sans recalled having to take his brother away and return to the mountain so that Asgore could speak with the human officials.  It was surprising at first.  Humans really couldn’t use magic anymore.  What made it worse, they even forgot that Monsters existed.  Sans and everyone else had become mere stories to scare other humans.

He hated it.  He hated their holiday called Halloween and all the decorations of monsters with it.  He couldn't watch “horror” movies that depicted a “monster” as the bad guy.  To him, it was like the entire human race was mocking him and his kind.

It wasn't until Papyrus spoke his thoughts allowed as they watched a rerun of one of the monster movies he hated that Sans actually thought about them.

_“Sans, do you think that humans believe that we are the same as them?”_

Sans quickly recalled explaining to Papyrus that the monsters in the videos and who they were were unrelated.  He knew that Papyrus just wanted the humans to like him, but like most, many were scared.

_“Are humans afraid of these monsters then?”_

At first, Sans didn’t know how to respond.  He wasn’t afraid of them and comparing the dated movies compared to newer ones he could only shrug.  Maybe they were.  The horror genre of movies was intended to scare audiences, or at least disgust others.  He wished he hadn’t seen the ones with brutal murders or true to life scenarios.  He couldn't recall his exact words for what he told Papyrus, but he did remember his response.

“If the young humans are taught to fear the monsters in these videos, it does make sense why some of the humans acted the way they did.”

Sans never really thought about it.  He was caught up in the fact that the “monsters” in these videos, the costumes, and overall misinformation about him and his kind came from media like this.  He had been angry that him, his family, and his friends had been forgotten that he had missed the point entirely.

Sans couldn’t forgive the humans who took his family away from him, but if he had held his anger and distrust for every human, he wouldn’t have been able to become friends with Frisk.  He wouldn’t have met you.  Once Sans gave the humans a chance he found it easier to understand their reactions to them.

He turned away from the sun to smile back at his friends.  Undyne was rubbing her face as she tried to hide her tears of joy.  Alphys stood at her side and she gently held one of Undyne’s hands in hers.  Her other hand dabbed at the corners of her eyes as she quietly spoke to her new found lover.  

Toriel wept silently as she stood in the sun looking out towards the human city.  Maybe at one point, she had given up hope to ever see this day come, but the warm look on her face cast any doubts she had away.  She had abandoned her people to live in hiding in the Ruins, unable to face her husband and unable to come up with an alternative solution for their people.  He knew she had always regretted it.  Something about Frisk stirred her to action and gave her the strength to return to stand up to her husband’s foolishness and do her best to protect Frisk from losing their life for Asgore’s cause.

Sans knew she would no longer hide away and face things to come for the good of their kind.  In a little more than a year, she would be opening her own school and living a dream of hers to teach young monsters and eventually young humans to help normalize a peaceful coexistence with each other.

Alphys would work as a head telecommunications engineer to help advance the humans’ current systems.   By Asgore’s recommendation, she began working to help aid the human’s technology in good faith to push for a peaceful co-existence.  Sans would end up working as her assistant at Alphy’s request.  Sans didn’t mind.  He mostly helped out with paperwork and could work on any personal projects if he wished.

Sans turned to his brother who he recalled would be standing at his side was not there.  He found it strange but he didn’t think too much on it.  Sans had spent this entire time following a different path than what he did before so he didn’t find it strange that Papyrus may respond differently here.  The only other person missing was Frisk.

Sans sighed as he stood back up and shoved his hands into his pockets and wandered over to Toriel.  She gently rubbed at the corners of her eyes as Sans approached and turned to offer a warm smile.

“Hello, Sans.  It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”  She paused as she clasped her hands together and let her hands rest against her stomach.  “This is everything and more than we could ever have hoped for.  Thank you, Sans.  Thank you for keeping your promise.”

Sans shrugged as he lazily smiled.  He had made that rare promise so long ago that he had almost forgotten.  Before he had realized it he had made up his own mind and took an actual hands on approach to assisting Frisk along on their journey.

“No problem Tori.” Her hopeful smile was contagious.  Sans couldn’t help but chuckle as he turned back to face the sun.  “The view is amazing.”  Sans mimicked the similar conversation the two had originally.  This time, he wasn’t as awestruck as last time.  Sans had other things on his mind as he glanced around.

“Are you looking for your brother?  I am afraid he isn’t here.  He had offered a while ago to walk with Frisk back into the mountain so that they could find their friends and speak with them.” Sans nodded and the two turned as they heard an awkward cough sound roughly behind the two of them.  Toriel’s beautiful smile hardened as she looked upon the one who interrupted them.  

Not too far behind the two of them, Asgore stood quietly.  He held his posture upright but he couldn’t bring himself to hold his head high nor could he make eye contact with Toriel longer than a few seconds.  Sans took the subtle hint and waved to Toriel as he left her side to head back into the mountain.

There were so many monsters heading towards the cliffside as the news of the barrier breaking spread deeper into the ruins.  Those in the capital were the first to begin emerging but Sans was able to recognize a few monsters that lived closer to Hotlands’ border.

A few monsters stopped to talk with Sans and mentioned that they saw Papyrus and Frisk at the capital on their way by.  Instead of spending his time aimlessly searching Sans figured he’d make it easy and just phone his younger brother.  As he reached into his pocket he felt the hard plastic casing begin to vibrate in his hand.  He had forgotten to turn the ringer back on but he would worry about that later.  He glanced at the caller id to see who was calling and couldn’t contain a chuckle.  Papyrus was making this easy and was calling him instead.  Sans flipped his phone open and tapped the answer key and brought the phone close to his head before pulling it away.

“SANS!  WHY HAVE YOU NOT BEEN ANSWERING MY CALLS?” Papyrus yelled through the electronic device.  “I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU FOR AGES!”

Sans couldn’t help but chuckle as adjusted the phone in front of his face.  “Sorry bro, I guess through all the excitement I accidentally turned off the ringer.”  Sans paused as he heard Papyrus groan in the background.  “I’m glad you called actually, I wanted to-”

“Sans,” Sans swallowed his words as Papyrus’ voice lowered over the receiver.  He could hear a muffled voice in the background talking to Papyrus, “yes, yes I was finally able to get ahold of him.”

“Papyrus?” Sans was curious as to who his brother was speaking to.  “Where are you?”

Sans pulled the phone closer to his head as Papyrus’ side became quiet.  A moment passed before he finally spoke.  “Sans, I know you don’t like it but…”

**~ * ~**

As soon as Sans heard the location he turned and cut a door in the world before him.  In what felt like an instant he emerged on the other side and stood near a large white cobble building where Papyrus was.  In recent memory, Sans couldn’t recall why Papyrus would think he didn’t like this particular place but something within him made the magic in his soul falter.

Normally the streets outside here would be busy.  Today, however, everyone had dropped what they were doing and had left to view the sun for the first time.  Everyone had been buzzing about their freedom, but now the distant echoes and murmurs of the happy monsters only painted the already colorless city in an eerie light.

Sans took a deep breath and found it difficult to take another step.  This was ridiculous, why was this place bothering him so much?  He had never even been inside the building before and as a matter of fact, Papyrus hadn’t either.  Sans had already noticed smaller differences between this timeline and the last but this was different.  This _felt_ different.

Sans collected his thoughts as he forced his legs to move below him.  He would get to the bottom of this and figure out what was bothering him.  The doors before him creaked open and echoed down the near-empty halls.  The place had a heavy stench that twisted in the pit of his chest.  Sans couldn’t help but grit his teeth as a sudden pain stopped him in his tracks.  His head rang as static filled his head.

**_“͚̙ͬH̊̄ͅè̛͟ d̴̎͜ȩ̎̔s̶᷆̅e̬̍̕r͇̮̿v̫̠͋e͇̅͜d̻̒̍ ì̲͟ṯ̗ͧ!̖̃͐”͈͚ͬ_ **

**_“̰͒᷈D͍̄̒o̶᷈̈n̥᷿͛’̞̫͒ť͙̝ s̻͇̑a͍̞ͤy̩͏̴ t͍̂̍h̙̏̒a͇᷄ͅt͏̢̌!᷁᷇ͫ”͕᷀͞_ **

**_“̴̭͙W̴ͣͯh͓͉᷀y̟ͪͦ n͓͋͗ó̔͞ṯ̟̐?̹̥͛  Ī͋̔f̨̛̣ h͖͢ͅe͑̌ͅ c̢ͯ̏a̫᷈͑r̯ͤ̍ẹͭ̌d̖̣̘ h͖͊͆eͤ̔̋ w̅̽͘o̘̣̦u͚᷾͡l᷿ͤ͂d͖̋̕ñ̦͠’᷃͒̇t͚̅᷄ b̅᷀ͮe᷊͔᷇ h̛̑̑ę͎ͪr͔̹̅ē̋̈…̩͖͛”̦̿̑_ **

When the wave of pain passed Sans took a deep breath and leaned back against the front doors.  He felt the magic in his soul stir as anger began to boil inside of him.  The voices that spoke through the static, he recognized them.  The words the first one spoke filled him with a betrayal he couldn’t even fathom.  They were his words, but how?

He couldn’t explain it, but he knew that at some point he spoke those words, but when?  How?  Why couldn’t he remember?

Another splitting pain surged through his head.  It took everything Sans had to keep his feet firmly planted on the ground.  

_“Sans?  Are you okay?”_

Sans felt a hand firmly grip his shoulder.  When the wave of pain passed Sans opened his eyes and focused on the monster standing in front of him.  Sans couldn’t recall his name but he had seen their face before.

“Here, take a seat.  A lot has happened and-” He began as Sans raised his hand and shook his head.

“Thanks for the concern but I’m alright.  It’s been a busy day.” Sans observed as the monster nodded and turned to look out the door towards the King’s Palace.  “Why aren’t you out there with everyone else?”

The monster chuckled and turned away as he returned to a desk that wasn’t too far from the door.  “Someone’s gotta stay back and make sure everyone here is comfortable.  A lot of sick and weakened monsters can’t afford the trip just yet.  When my colleagues return I’ll get my turn.”  He couldn’t help but pause and smiled hopefully, “Have you seen it?  Is it truly as they say?”

“What’s that?” Sans asked as he began his slow stride down the hall and passed the front desk.

“The sun?  Is it as the stories describe it?”

Sans couldn’t help but chuckle, “Nah.  Even better.  You’ll see.”

The smile on Sans’ face didn’t stay long as he continued down the hallway.  He had no clue where he was going but he allowed his feet to carry him down the hall.  The further he went the louder the ringing and the static began to ring and echo within his head.  His mouth felt dry and he couldn’t explain the uneasiness he felt.  

“I am sure that he will be here soon.  I’m sorry that I must inform you, but he has become quite lazy since the…” Papyrus trailed off as his voice lowered.  “That does not matter, all that matters is that you have finally returned to us.”

Sans stopped as he heard Papyrus’ voice come out of the room in front of him.  He read the room’s name and paused, Room Seventeen.  The next voice Sans heard trapped his breath in his throat.  The words were broken that held more air than an actual voice.

_“Do...you...see me?”_

Sans shot around the door frame just in time to see Papyrus quickly rush to the owner of the voice’s bedside and gently gripped the bed’s side.

“You should not be speaking!  I will go get you some water in a-” Papyrus looked back up towards the door and stuttered as he spotted Sans, “Oh...Sans, I didn’t see you there.”  Papyrus smiled and looked back towards the monster that laid on the bed before him.  “Allow me to fetch you some water.”  He left the bedside and stopped shortly before Sans.  “I know that the two of you didn’t see eye to eye before and that there is a lot of things that need to say but please do try not to excite him much right now.  He just woke up today and is confused.”  Papyrus turned back and waved his hand, “I will be right back, do behave and stay in bed!”  He ran out the door before Sans could even speak.

An awkward silence filled the room as Sans turned to look at the monster in the bed.  All at once memories from long passed filled his head.  One by one missing pieces of what he felt was his life fell into place.  He recalled the night a few weeks ago with everyone inside Toriel’s home asking if anyone knew who “Gaster” was.  All the questions asked then he could answer now with little effort.  Gaster, the one and that turned he and your lives upside down were lying before him.

“How?” Sans managed to say between gritted teeth.  “Why are _you_ here?”

Sans recalled from his memories from his younger years how tall Gaster was.  His head and shoulders never dropped.  He was always looking ahead with a hard and unreadable expression.  He recalled the bright lights in his eyes as he delved into his work and how eventually the monster before him had begun to wear down.  Now?  The monster that sunk into the bed who looked like could turn to dust at any moment no longer resembled the strong and stoic monster he had partly grown up with.  

Sans stood in silence as he recalled the memories one by one of his life and family.  The missing pieces filling in that he hadn’t even known he lost.  It was a blessing yet irritating when Papyrus returned to the room.  

Sans knew that Papyrus noticed the heavy tension in the room when he returned with the water.  As he passed by Sans he gently patted him on the shoulder before returning to Gaster’s bedside.  Sans breathed slowly as he watched Papyrus help Gaster by propping him up and gently tilting the cup so Gaster could slowly drink.

“Please do not strain yourself, brother.  There is plenty of time for you recover and see everything that has changed.”  Papyrus smiled as he pulled the glass away and set it on the bedside table and laid Gaster back down.  “When you’ve regained your strength we can talk about whatever you want.  The doctors said that you may-”

_“Pa...py...rus?”_ The roughness had left Gaster’s voice but the airiness to it hadn’t.  

“Oh!  I had almost forgotten!”  Papyrus quickly stood up to pose gallantly between the bed and the wall.  “The greatest and most popular Royal Guard you see standing before you was once the youngest baby bones in our family!  It is I, the Great Papyrus!”  Papyrus left the bedside and hurried over to Sans and placed his hands on both of his shoulders to gently shake him.  “I am you have already figured out who this is!  He has changed the least between the two of us.  Though, without your guidance, I am afraid to admit that he has become a rather lazy monster!”

_“Sans?”_ Gaster seemed to almost light up as he heard Papyrus say Sans’ name.

“Yes!  You are doing splendidly brother!”  Papyrus left Sans’ side to return to Gaster’s.  With little resistance, Papyrus picked up Gaster’s left hand and gently held it between his own.  “In no time you will be able to recognize everyone!”

As Papyrus spoke Gaster’s eye lights drifted slowly away to look pass Papyrus towards the wall.  Gaster’s mouth fidgeted as if he was trying to speak but couldn’t.  Only scratchy breaths escaped.  Papyrus reacted immediately and grabbed the water from the bedside table and help prop Gaster up to drink.  Gaster’s eye lights never blinked as he continued to stare at the wall near where Papyrus had been standing.

“Do try not to try to overwork yourself!  You need plenty of rest to regain your strength!  I know that you love to work, and I may add that I completely understand, unlike our lazy brother here,” Papyrus paused but the smile never left his face.  

Sans couldn’t help but chuckle at the comment but he still couldn’t stand idly by knowing what the monster, that Gaster, had done.  He was the reason you were gone.  That’s what Sans chose to believe.  If Gaster hadn’t interfered with you, would any of this even happen?

Sans gritted his teeth and tried to keep his magic from rising out of control.  It would be so easy to pass judgment on Gaster at this moment.  The only problem would be Papyrus.  He doesn't know.  How could he know?  Sans would just become a murderer in his eyes.  He couldn't do it.  Papyrus meant too much to him.  With you gone, who could he turn to?

Papyrus had always been there for Sans as they grew up.  When he had lost his way and Papyrus wasn’t the easiest kid to take care of.  He was a difficult child but who could honestly blame him?  Sans had to work to allow Papyrus to go to school, to barely afford food.  At some point, it had become too much for Sans to keep up with the house and he had let it go.  

Sans took a deep breath as his magic finally settled.  Sans closed his eyes and just let the sound of the humming machines fill his head to distract him for only a moment.  He couldn’t relax, not yet.  He couldn’t, no, wouldn’t trust Gaster.  When Sans opened his eyes he watched Gaster cautiously.

Gaster’s mouth opened and shut awkwardly.  As he tried to speak as violet tears welled up in his eyes and slowly leaked down his face and crack.  Papyrus settled Gaster back onto his pillow and grabbed for a clean cloth.  Gaster raised his hand as best as he could and attempted to catch Papyrus’ hand but failed.  Papyrus instead caught his hand and tilted his head to the side.

“Is everything okay?”  Papyrus asked as quietly as he could, he turned back to Sans with a lost expression.  He wasn’t quite sure what to do at this moment.

_“I’m...here…?”_  Gaster finally choked out.

Papyrus turned back to Gaster and smiled brightly and nodded.  “Yes!  I know that this may be difficult but you have returned to us!  You have finally woken up!”  Papyrus beamed as he gently squeezed Gaster’s hand to reassure him the best way he knew how.  Normally, he would scoop them up to give them a tight hug but Papyrus knew this was not an appropriate action.

Gaster’s eyes darted between Sans and Papyrus before returning to the empty space at his side between the wall.  Sans could feel something was off.  Gaster’s attention was divided but he didn’t know by what.  As Gaster watched the wall the tears that welled up before grew in size as he gently began to shake.

“I’m...alive…?” Gaster’s voice cracked as his eyes darted awake from the wall before returning to it.

“Yes!”  Papyrus nodded vigorously as his smile grew wider.  “You are alive and everything will be alright.”

Gaster closed his eyes as the corners of his mouth twitched upwards.  He smiled and sobbed quietly before opening his eyes to smile at Papyrus and Sans.  After a moment he turned his head away and mumbled something short below his breath before his eyes returned to the empty space in the wall.  Before anyone could speak his head turned slowly to Sans.

_“The flowers...speak with miracles…”_ His words were short but they struck Sans.

_Please believe in my miracle._

Sans took a step back from the bed.  Papyrus turned just as Sans cut a hole in the wall behind him and step through.  Sans didn’t turn back as he heard Papyrus call his name.  For now, he would leave Gaster there.  Sans had to leave his brother, Papyrus’, side for the time being.  He was sure he would hear an earful later for bolting, but he needed to make sure.

Sans was sure that was a message specifically for him, from you.  He recalled the brief moment a while back where he spoke to you in Waterfall.  You believed that you could make a miracle happen.  Sans hoped that this wasn’t is.  He didn’t want Gaster, he wanted you.

Sans emerged from the silent space into the luminescent field of Echo Flowers.  As the world mended itself behind him he spun around on his heels to try and spot anything out of place.  When nothing caught his eye he fished into his pockets, scattering remnants of papers and wrappers on the ground as he pulled out the small violet shard.  He looked down into his open palm and spun around once again.

The white noise of the water rushing filled his head as he took a few step from side to side.  His shoulders fell as his eyes casted to the black dirt at his feet.  The hope that had filled him vanished in an instant as his breath caught in his chest.

You weren’t…

Sans didn’t even flinch when he felt a soft hand grip his.  A laugh of disbelief escaped him as the corners of his mouth twitched to put on a genuine smile.  As he rose his view from the ground to the being in front of him he couldn’t help but let out a sigh.  The Echo Flowers at his feet started softly, but soon the crackle of the static hummed as he took a step closer.  

You were the same as before.  Your feet still bundled up in rags, your hair messy and out of place.  The only thing that was different was the gentle smile you wore on your face.  He could feel the warmth of your affection radiating.  You were almost glowing.  There was a peace, a resolve, in you that he didn’t quite understand.  At this moment though, he gently squeezed your hand in his and smiled.

“You’ve kept me waiting.”  Sans spoke softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This had been long overdue.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Sorry for the long overdue update. Life is super busy and stressful right now. I'm writing when I can. I've been trying to spread my time out so that I can do things with my friends as well as family. It's hard...it's super hard, but it still feels good to write and finish a chapter.
> 
> For updates/questions/concerns/or just want to chat you can find that info on my Tumblr linked below.
> 
> kioribug.tumblr.com


	45. Betrayal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a little headcannon-e but I hope you can forgive me. (but this is cannon for Patchwork)
> 
> There is going to be parts that go over death, referencing suicide, and dying.
> 
> Some tags will be added to accompany this chapter.

Someone crying in the darkness stirred you awake.  The world was  _ empty _ .  You weren’t in the space between time.  That much you knew.  

_ How?! _

The voice belonged to a woman.  It was familiar.  Her heavy sobs mixed with anger, or hurt, maybe both?  You couldn’t tell.  After a moment her sobs became muffled as she sobbed unanswered questions.

**_“Let’s go.”_ **

You knew this voice.  It whispered inside your head and you could never forget that sound.  It was Chara though something was different.  They were softer spoken, distant even, distracted.  Someone else was there, you couldn’t see them, but you could feel them.

“I don’t like this...I’ve never heard her cry like this before.  Maybe I should-” 

**_“If they see us now our plan won't work!  Don’t be stupid!  She just...she doesn’t understand right now.  She’ll only be sad for a little while.  When we return with the souls she will forget what happened.  Afterall, with you, we can still be a...be a…”_ **

**_“Family?”_ **

**_“...yeah.”_ **

You couldn’t see them, but Chara was speaking to another child.  His voice was higher pitched and timid.  You didn’t know much about Chara but you still couldn’t bring yourself to trust their words here.  There was something more, but what?  They had something planned and who ever they were talking to was being strung along with it.

Slowly, the world came into focus.  The curtains were shut leaving only a small amount of light to leak through the parts.  The white light spilled onto the floor in slivers.  You felt a tightness in your chest as this room sent chills down your spine.

Despite the upsetting feeling, you forced yourself to take in as much detail as you could.  You listened to the soft sounds of a pair of feet quickly moving across the floor.  It was odd.  You couldn’t help but notice the floor was so far away.

You turned to stop in front of a half closed door.  The room was dark but you could see the flicker from a candle that sat somewhere behind the door.  As the flame danced on the wick you could see the silhouette of someone lying in a bed.  

There was an uncomfortable sensation as the door was pushed open.  The little light that the candle provided was enough for you see the figure before you.  If you could gasp, you would have, but you couldn’t.  You were taken aback, at a loss of what you were seeing.  Before you laid a child that greatly resembled Frisk.  The realization that it wasn’t Frisk came quickly as you slowly connected the events you’ve heard thus far.

**_“What are you?!”_ **

**_“It doesn’t matter, does it?”_ **

You drew closer to the child and you saw two arms, too big for a child, reach out and prepare to lift them.

**_“What about Mom and Dad?  They’ll know you’re gone!  This isn’t right.  I don’t like this-”_ **

**_“I want to see the flowers.  I want my body to rest there.”_ **  There was a pause before Chara spoke again.   **_“I know you don’t want to do this so I will.”_ **

You watched, to your horror, the body that you assumed Chara had possessed carry the body out of the room and keep it cradled in their arms.  You had no words for this.  You had a thousand quests running through your head but you but that wasn't as important as what they were talking about.

Chara walked through the halls quickly.  The sounds of the woman crying were muffled and grew quiet as Chara descended a staircase and walked along a dark hallway.  Everything was still, only the soft padding of their feet and ruffling of the fabric from the cloak they wore made any sounds.

The tight corridor opened up to look over a grand grayscale city.  You recognized the aesthetics instantly from one of Gaster’s, unhappy, memories.  You didn’t get to see much as Chara swiftly ascended a tall staircase to what you could make out as a castle.

The halls were quiet with no guard in sight.  This was a foreign concept, but at the same time, if this was in the Underground, you knew that Monsters were more trusting than humans.  Monsters, after all, weren’t necessarily violent by nature with each other.  You didn’t need to dwell on this long before everything felt like it came to a stop.

This hallway.  The orange glow painted the floors as you felt a tightness in your chest.  Traces of memories filled your head of Sans and the mons...no...Chara fighting here.  You saw the hopelessness in Sans eyes as he clutched his chest after being struck by Chara.  You could only begin to feel at ease as Chara quickly walked through into the next room.

It didn't look like what you would expect from a throne room.  You saw four chairs sitting on top of a patch of grass.  You figured who the largest of the two belonged to, but the smaller ones you didn't know.  They were childlike in size.

**_“We’re not going to fit in those anymore.”_ **

Chara didn’t respond to the young boy but continued walking passed them.

**_“Mom and Dad will have to make us a new chair won't they?”_ **

**_“Don’t be stupid Asriel.  Once we get rid of the barrier they won't want to stay trapped down here any longer.  That’s the whole purpose of doing….this…”_ **

Chara’s voice trailed off as you all came to a stop outside of the throne room.  You didn’t have to ask or wait for them to answer to know what you were looking at.  It was blinding, mesmerizing.  It felt magical, even you could feel its intensity.

You could recall staring out the window of your hospital room at the barrier.  It was so bright in the faded sky to the west.  It was beautiful at a distance, but as you stared at the light, you couldn’t help but feel a terrible sadness.  The freedoms you took for granted left you full of guilt.

**_“Are you sure this is going to work?  Do you really think we can do this?  We could always go back and- hey!  Wait!”_ **

Chara didn’t listen to Asriel as they began to take quick strides towards the barrier.

**_“I asked you before if you trusted me.  How many times did I make sure you were with me?  You helped me pick the flowers that led to this point.  It’s already too late to change your mind now!”_ **

You could feel the familiar hurt and anger well up within you, as well as a hint of what you could only guess as fear, as your world became black.  

The barrier’s magic was strong, and it was terrifying.  You could barely tell you were still moving.  A moment that felt like eternity came to an end almost as soon as it started.  You felt Chara stumble but still remained upright.  They took a deep breath and you could feel the relief wash over you.

You had made it.

You still couldn’t see as Chara continue their walk but at a much slower pace.

**_“Chara!  That was dangerous!  What if we something happened?  What if we didn’t make it!  That was scary!  I didn’t like it...I-”_ **

**_“Just look.”_ **

Chara opened their eyes and squinted as the bright light shone brightly before them.  It took you a minute to focus and get used to the light.  You felt your heart grow lighter and the fear you felt faded away as you looked out to the miles and miles of forest below.  The sun was setting.  You could hear the distant sounds of crickets begin to sing their songs for the night.

It was beautiful.  You had never seen the forest from the mountainside.  You bet the city would look…  You paused as you stared out at the horizon in confusion.  The city you had grown up in wasn’t there.  There wasn’t even a trace of any civilization anywhere...no...faintly you could just make out smoke from a lit fire at the base of the mountain.  Through the trees, you could just make out a small clearing with a few houses.  You knew this was a memory from Chara’s past.  Just...just how long ago was this?  You lost focus on your questions as you felt the mixture of Asriel’s excitement and hopefulness with Chara’s suppressing anger.

**_“It will take us a while to reach the village.  We will have plenty of time to admire everything when mom and dad and everyone else is free.  We’ve got a job to do first.  Our destiny.”_ **

Chara’s words felt full of hope but there was an underlying sadness in them as they turned to proceed down the mountain.

**_“You still really think we can?”_ **

**_“I know we can.  Don’t start asking foolish questions now.”_ **

**_“It's just...I don’t want Mom or Dad to be upset.  You...you dying really hurt them, Chara.  I don’t want to see them hurt like that again.  What if this-”_ **

**_“Mom and Dad will be okay.  Afterall, I’m not gone.  We’re both still here, only our outside has changed.  We are a God now, Asriel.  We are going to do what they have told us we would for a long time.  We are the hope for Monster kind.  I was the Angel, Dad said so himself.  I came from here.  We’re going to set everyone free.  No one will have to stay trapped Underground anymore.”_ **

You listened to them speak about some destiny that Asgore and Toriel had filled their heads with.  They talked about how the barrier was made and that it required seven human souls to collapse the barrier.  They only required six more souls.

It had been a few hours of walking before Chara stopped a good distance from the edge of the village.  You saw the young children playing and running around as the adults worked in various spots around the village.

**_“Woah...there are so many of them...and they look like you!”_ **

**_“Did you really think that?  I don’t look anything like them.”_ **

**_“You do...I mean...some of them have different hair but...you’re really similar!  You’re not like the other Monsters I’ve seen.”_ ** There was a moment of silence between the two before Chara spoke up again.   **_“There’s something wrong.  I need you tell me now before we begin because I need to know you are going to still be with me.  I can’t do this on my own.”_ **

**_“It's nothing.”_ **

**_“Don’t lie.  I know when you’re lying to me.  What’s wrong?”_ **

**_“It's just...they don’t...they don’t look like bad people, Chara…”_ **

**_“We went over this.  You don’t know how they treat others that aren’t like them.”_ **

**_“I know...you told me about what they did to you.”_ **  Asriel paused,  **_“I just...I just didn’t think they would look so much like you.”_ **

**_“I’m not one of them, Asriel.  I’m different.  That’s why…”_ ** Chara went silent but you could feel the anger boil up inside them once again.   **_“Look...I won't make you do anything.  I just need you to help me use our new power.  I can’t do this without you.”_ **

**_“I know, I know!”_ **  You could hear the small child whine softly but given in.  Once he was calm he spoke up quietly.  **_“I’m ready.  Just...make sure they are bad people okay?”_ **

Chara didn’t respond as they took their first step towards the village.  You knew this wouldn’t go well.  If this had worked Frisk wouldn’t have needed to break the barrier in the first place.  You didn’t dare think what became of these children.  

Children...that’s what they were, weren’t they?  It was almost sickening thinking how two children had come up with the plan to murder six other humans.  This was before your time, this was before Gaster’s time.  The souls that Gaster had been experimenting on haven’t yet come to be.  They didn’t even exist.  Something terrible was happening.  You wish you could yell at them, send them home, but with this being a memory you could only helplessly spectate.

As Chara entered the village the children that had been playing had stopped.  A few of them screamed and ran.

_ Monster! _

You could feel Asriel flinch at the way the child yelled.  This wasn’t a description of Asriel’s race, no, this was a terrible name.  This was used to describe  _ bad people _ .  Chara ignored them, they were set on a path and they were sure to walk slowly.  As the children ran soon their parents showed up, curious with protective eyes to see what had scared their young ones.  

_ Is that...is that a child? _

_ Oh lord!  That thing murdered a child! _

_ What does it want with us? _

Asriel wanted to call out to them, tell them that he didn’t kill Chara, but Chara refused to speak.  They ignored the names, ignored the screams, they were focused.  You couldn’t even feel any emotions from them.  It was numbing.

**_“Chara?  You have to tell them!  They are getting the wrong idea!”_ **

Chara refused to speak still.  They stopped as they reached a small patch of golden, yellow flowers.  The sight of the flowers didn’t calm Asriel as Chara knelt down and set Chara’s body amongst them.

**_“Chara?”_ **

Chara rose from the ground, not bothering to brush off the pollen and seeds that clung to the fabric of their robe.  They must have caught sight of something as they hesitated to turn to face the gathering mob of people.  All the noise flooded out as you finally noticed the small puddle of water nearby and caught a glimpse of what you looked like.

_ Demon!  Go away! _

Black eyes and long curved horns were the first things you noticed.  Yellow slits glowed in the pure blackness indicating our pupil.  Black markings liked their face and you could only focus on their pointed fangs and sharp claws.  A demon...that’s what these people called them.  You would be lying if you said you weren’t a little startled at first either.

Chara no longer hesitated as they turned to face the mob.  Without saying a word they held their right hand up as if holding something invisible.

**_“I want to make fire.”._ **

**_“What? B-but that would hurt someone!”_ **

**_“What did you think we were going to do?  Asriel, we fight the bad people.  That is how we are going to get the souls.  Do you think anyone would be willing to give up their soul to us?”_ **

**_“I just thought if we explained and asked nicely that they-”_ **

Asriel was cut off as a farmer with a pitch fork charged forward and tried to strike.  Chara didn’t hesitate to catch it in their hands and effortlessly push the human back.  Screams rang out again as more humans came forward wielding weapons.  The names they slurred as well as the threatening tones melted together as Asriel tried to defuse the situation.

**_“I don’t like this plan anymore Chara.  I don’t want to hurt anyone!  We can find another way!”_ **

**_“Didn’t you just see what happened?  Are you paying attention?  They attacked us first!  They are the bad guys!  We need to fight and defeat them!”_ **

**_“They’re scared!  Look at them Chara!”_ **

**_“They are going to kill us if we don’t do anything!  I need you to not be a crybaby right now!”_ **

You heard the two argue and felt something snap.

**_“No!  I don’t want to kill them!  We would be the bad guys if we did!  I won’t let you hurt anyone!”_ **

**_“What are you-?!”_ **

You felt Asriel’s presence stronger than before.  You saw them turn and gather up Chara’s body hastily and turn to leave but Asriel stopped.  A sudden pain washed over you as Asriel look down to his side.  The human that Chara had thrown earlier was back on his feet holding the pitchfork that was now jabbed into Asriel’s side.

_ Murderer!  We won't let you harm another child! _

Asriel pulled the weapon from his side and shoved the human just enough to gain some distance.  He cradled Chara’s body with one arm as he begun to run from the village’s center.

Your heart raced as you cried.  You could fear the pain, the fear the two of them felt like it was your own.  They were only kids.

**_“You have to fight!  You can’t let them hurt you like this!”_ **

Asriel ignored Chara as he continued to run.  His breath escaped him as he felt several sharp objects pierced his back.  He held Chara’s body closer to his as he continued running.

**_“Stop running!  Don’t be a coward!  Turn and fight!”_ **

Again, Asriel ignored them as Chara’s anger slowly turn to panic.

**_“Don’t be a fool!  We’re going to lose!  Asriel they’re going to--”_ **

**_“No!  I won't hurt them!“_ **

Every step was excruciating.  The longer he ran the colder it became.  Asirel only stopped running when he reached the entrance of the cave to the barrier.  Only when he saw the sight of the barrier did Asriel begin to cry.

**_“Why?  Why are you doing this?  Do you not care?”_ **  You could feel Chara’s confusion, their heartbreak as they sobbed grossly.  **_“We were supposed to save everyone.  How could you?  How could you do this?  I thought you trusted me!  I...I don’t want to die again.  It hurts Asriel!  I’m scared!”_ **

Asriel couldn’t speak as he cried.  The pain finally catching up as he stumbled forward through the barrier.  Walking through this side of the barrier felt less intense than the first time.  They let out a loud cry as they forced themselves to continue forward.  The entrance to the barrier was darker than it was before.

**_“Mom...Dad…”_ ** Asriel cried out as he stumbled into the throne room.

To your surprise, you saw Toriel, who looked like a mess turn with a sad smile that must have been filled with relief only to turn to horror.  Before they could say a word Asriel could no longer hold the weight of Chara’s body as he fell to his knees.  Chara’s body rolled onto the grass as Asriel looked up at their parents.

**_“I’m sorry…”_ ** Asriel spoke softly as he closed his eyes.    **_“I’m so sorry…”_ **

**_“I don’t want to die.  I’ll never forgive you!  I’ll make you pay!”  
_ **   
Chara’s angered, scared, a panicked voice rang throughout your head as the world faded and nothing was left.  In an instant, they were gone, both of them, and what was left was a terrible void filled with pain... ****_betrayal_ ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hoping Asriel and Chara weren't too confusing to tell apart in dialogue. I'm really hoping that you were all able to follow as we cover this overarching problem before we move on. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy and can wait for just one more chapter to move forward in the story with what Reader is going to do. Just a few more loose ends to clean up.
> 
> Thank you for reading and you can find me at kioribug.tumblr.com for updates and questions.
> 
> See you soon o/


	46. You Don't Understand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings, references to suicide.

**“I don’t appreciate you poking your nose into my memories.”**

Your voice spoke with a venomous tone as you struggled to stay conscious.  You were no longer in control.  You wanted to fight it, but your energy was spent.  Your heart weighed heavily and you were aware of just how sluggish you felt.

You were emotionally tired.  Your head spun as you tried to forget the memory you saw.  You promised Sans you would fix everything, but you bit off more than you could chew.  It was easier thinking of Chara as a demon, but they were a child.  

_ “Why?” _

Chara ignored you as they continued to focus on whatever they were doing before you woke up.  Everything was still too foggy for you to make out where you were.  This wasn’t the space between time, that much you knew.

“I am sorry that I could not have been a better friend...”

You heard Papyrus speak.  His voice shook and you could swear it sounded like he could cry at any moment.  You focused your attention to what Chara was doing and felt a familiar pain in your heart as you watch as Papyrus turn to dust.  It only made you angrier.

_ “Why do you hate them?” _

**“I don’t.”**

Chara responded flatly to your words.  That didn’t make sense.  The well of negative emotions that Chara had weighed heavy on your own soul.  The betrayal cut deep and left you at a loss.  You were confused, angry.  You wanted answers.

_ “If you don’t hate them, then why?  Why are you senselessly killing them...for what?  For fun?” _

**“I hate** **_him._ ** **”**

You were letting your own emotions take control.  How could this child hate someone that much that they would want them dead?  You couldn’t even wrap your head around what would even justify it.

_ “What did Papyrus do to you?  Papyrus doesn’t-” _

**“Not him you idiot.  You saw the memory.”**  Chara seethed as they waved their hand to dissipate the thread.  You recognized the place you were standing in.  The empty space filled with the countless threads strung together on broken timelines.  One thing you did notice was the lack of another.

**“He’s no longer here.  He’s alive in a new timeline that you created.”**

For a moment, you were relieved.  The anger subsided and you were a loss for words.  That means you could get out of here, but how?  If you undid how you came here, like Gaster, that would mean Chara would be free once again.

_ “Enough games.  Why do you kill them?  Why do you kill everyone?  You said you hate him but who?  Who was that?  They mentioned being your family!  How could you do that to your-” _

**“** ** _He_** **betrayed** ** _me!_**   ** _I died!_** ** _He_** **killed** ** _me!_** **”**

_ “You tried to kill innocent people!” _

**“We were supposed to free everyone!”**

_ “They didn’t deserve to die!  Why did you need to kill them?” _

**“We were going to free everyone!  How is it every different then what Gaster did?”**

Chara was right, how was it any different?  Gaster had collected the souls of the children that fell into the Underground.  People died.  Monsters died.  The road to everyone’s freedom was tainted in blood either way.

It still didn’t make sense.  If this was all just to free everyone why were they still trying?  Why were they fighting Frisk’s best efforts?

_ “Everyone is free.  Frisk freed everyone.  Why?  Why kill them?  What did they do to you!?” _

**“** **_He_ ** **took away everything to me.  I’m only doing the same to him!”**

_ “Who is he?!” _   You wracked your head thinking who they could be talking about.  The only person you thought it could have been was the other child.   _ “Do you mean-?” _

**“Who else would I mean?  Of course him!”**

“That monster...the one you shared a body with...who was he to you?”

Chara ignored you as they approached the threads and held out your hand.  

_ “What did you expect was going to happen?  You...you carried your...your body to that village!  You’re upset that he didn’t allow you to fight them.  That’s it isn’t it?  You used him to-” _

**“You’re wrong!”**  Chara growled as a thread lit up before them.  Chara stared at it for a moment and clenched your jaw before stepping into the thread.   **“Your magic works in the most inconvenient ways.”**

You looked out at the memory before you.  This was in the monotone city you’ve seen a few times before except, emptier.  You were startled as you saw Chara, alive and sitting on a pile of bricks while another small monster wearing a matching green and yellow sweater run up to them.  Over their shoulder was a large, black, old style video recorder.  You could even see the VHS in the side recording.

“Howdy Chara! Smile for the camera!”  The small boy exclaimed loudly as Chara shifted their gaze towards the monster.  An eyebrow rose as they tilted their head towards him with a small smile.  “Ha, this time I got YOU!  I left the cap on...ON PURPOSE!  Now you’re smiling for noooo reason!  Hee hee hee.” The child chuckled as they bounced up and down.

His voice was familiar to you.  This was Asriel, wasn’t it?  They didn’t look anything like they did in the other memory.  Why were you even here?

“Do you remember what these are?”  Chara spoke softly as they reached into their pocket to pull out a small yellow flower and held it out to Asriel.

Asriel calmed his laughter as he got a good look at what Chara held in their hand.  The smile they wore fell as they spoke heavily.  You could hear a hint of guilt as he spoke.  “What?  Oh yeah, I remember.  When we tried to make a butterscotch pie for Dad, right?”  He paused as he laughed nervously and broke eye contact with Chara.  “The recipe asked for cups of butter… but we accidentally put in buttercups instead.”  

“Do you remember what they did to him?” Chara asked as they stared down at the flowers in their hand.

Asirel nodded as they spoke, “Yeah!  Those flowers got him really sick.  I felt so bad.  We made Mom really upset.”  Asriel shifted in place as they recalled the events.  “I should have laughed it off like you did...Um, anyway, where are you going with this?”

“I’ll tell you when you turn off the camera.” Chara looked back up towards the capped video recorder and motioned towards the red light.

“Huh?  Turn off the camera…?”  Asriel shifted the camera off of their shoulder as they cradled it in their arms and found the button.  “OK.”

Chara waited until Asriel set the camera down before gently patting the pile of bricks next to them.  “I know how we can make it up to your Mom and Dad, but it has to be a surprise.”

Asriel lightly kicked their feet against the bricks as they eyed the flowers.  “This doesn't involve making another pie, does it?  I don’t think Mom will let us off easy if we try cooking with those again.”

“No…” Chara paused as they looked over to Asriel.  “You’re a boss monster like your Mom and Dad, right?”

Asriel nodded but tilted their head.  “Yeah, but what does that have to do with anything?”

Chara jumped off the pile of bricks and took a few steps before turning to stand in front of Asriel.  “It means that you’re one of the strongest monsters here!”  They paused as a smile curled over their lips, “You were the one that found me.”

Asriel returned the smile and shook their head.  “I couldn’t just leave you.  Anyone would have done the same.”

Chara disagreed, “It wasn’t just anyone.  Your Mom and Dad constantly say that we are the future for Monster kind.”  Chara paused as they took a slow breath and shifted their gaze to the ground.  “I didn’t end up down there on purpose, Asriel.  It was a miracle I was even alive.”  They took another deep breath before looking back to Asriel.  They wore a serious look as they spoke, “There is a prophecy.  The Angel… _ the one who has seen the surface _ … They will return.  And the underground will go empty.”

Asriel sat silently as he thought over what Chara had said.  They spoke in a hushed whisper, almost as if he was afraid to be heard.  “What about those?”  Asriel’s hand gently lifted from his lap to point at the flowers that Chara still clutched in their hand.

Chara extended their hand and caught Asriel’s hand in their own and firmly held it.  Chara didn’t speak as they took a step closer to Asriel and turned his hand over and gently pressed it to their chest.

“They say that if a Monster has a human’s SOUL they would have unfathomable power.” Chara wrapped their other flower-filled hand over Asriel’s.  “With my soul, you only need seven more to break the barrier and free everyone.”

Asriel’s eyes widen and they pulled their hand away from Chara and held it to their own chest.  “You don’t mean to use those flowers to-”  Asriel was interrupted as Chara nodded and placed the flowers closed to their lips.

Asriel lept down from the rock and knocked the flowers away.  After a moment the anger left him and the timid expression he was more accustomed to returned.

“I-I’m sorry!  I didn’t mean to!” Asriel gently reached for Chara’s hand that he had slapped away and held it tightly in his hands.  “I don’t know...I don’t like this.  You can’t…”

Chara didn’t speak, they only leaned forward and leaned their forehead down to rest on Asriel’s shoulder.  This startled Asriel as their body froze, unfamiliar with how Chara was acting.

“You’re the only one who understands why I came here, Asriel.  You’re the only one who knows how terrible they are.  I couldn’t take it anymore.  I would have rather died then continue living with  _ them _ .  You, Asriel, found me when I woke up.  You heard my cries for help when I thought no one would.  You and your Mom and Dad took me in.  They accepted me, a stranger, with no questions.  Everyone down here has welcomed me with warm smiles.  At some point, we became a family.  I...there is nothing I could ever do to ever be able to repay everyone for their kindness.”  Chara took a deep breath and lifted their head but did not look Asriel in the eyes.  “This is something I have already decided.  Please, Asriel, allow me to do this.  I want to free everyone.  This is how I want to repay them.”

Asriel leaned their down against Chara’s.  His eyes closed tightly as tear glistened at the corners.  As he spoke, his voice shook, “This is what you really want?”  Chara’s nod only made Asriel sharply inhale as he softly began to cry.  “I...I don’t like this...but I want to free them, free everyone, too.”

You stood silently as Asriel wrapped their arms around Chara as they bawled.  Chara wrapped their arms around him and hugged him tightly as they wore a sad smile.  You felt a deep sadness, as well as a nauseating sickness, shake you.  Chara rose your hand and waved their hand as the thread expelled the two of you.

**“He chose to help me.  I didn’t force him to do anything!”**  Chara’s voice shouted all around you as you still struggled to grasp what this meant.   **“We didn’t know that I would still be there after he absorbed my soul.  How could we?  When we became one I knew he wouldn’t fight.  I thought that if I showed him how they would treat him, a monster, that he would finally understand and fight back.”**  Chara growled as you felt their anger well up within you once again.   **“But they still didn’t fight!  They betrayed me!  I died so that we could save everyone!  He chose to be a coward!  He killed us both!  We FAILED!”**

_ “What happened to you...I’m sorry...I didn’t know…” _   How could you have known?  No one mentioned this, not even Gaster.  You still didn’t fully understand Chara’s reasons for doing what they did in the past but that didn’t give them the right to just do as they pleased in the present.  You still couldn’t forgive them for killing your friends.   _ “This doesn’t justify you killing everyone!  Why?  They have nothing to do with what happened in the past!  You said it was because of him, Asriel right?  That doesn’t even make sense Chara!  He couldn’t have-” _

**“He’s a hypocrite!”**  Chara shouted over you so harshly it silenced you.  You could hear the ragged breaths as they fumed.  **“He failed time and time again.  When he drew bored...what do you think happened?”**

You didn’t know how to respond.  No one had ever mentioned Asriel before.  

**“Typical…”**  Chara laughed incredulously.  **“He killed them all, idiot!”**

_ “...what?” _   You couldn’t believe it.  No, you only saw Chara kill them.  There had been no one else.   _ “That can’t be right, it was you.” _

**“You’re wrong.  I wasn’t the first to kill them, no.”**  Chara laughed at the thought of it all, **“I only woke up because of them, but I guess you wouldn’t believe that either.  Poor innocent little Frisk.  No one would ever believe that when you first fell to the Underground that you would kill them.  I guess it was easier than when they weren’t really their friends.”**

_ “You’re lying!”  _ You cried out.  The small child that everyone loved, they couldn’t have.   _ “I don’t believe you!” _

**“I only woke up because of them.  I didn’t understand why I was alive.  I died, but here I am.  Frisk and Asriel showed me that they were no different from the ones I hated the most.”** They paused as they clenched your teeth.  **“Those on the surface...in the city.  They’re no different.  Frisk...is no different.  They used the RESET as a way to erase what they did.”**

You didn’t want to believe them and Chara could sense that.  They sighed and waved your hand as another thread appeared before you.  Chara didn’t hesitate as they stepped through as the world shifted around you.

You didn’t...no you could somewhat recognize the place.  This was the same area in the Underground where you just saw Chara and Asriel speaking.  Things have been built up, cleaned up.  A startled cry echoed throughout the area and soon enough you saw the owner to the voice.

You saw Frisk running, their face pale, hands shaking.  They tripped over a loose rock and fell, skidding several feet before stopping  The stick they held tossed to the side as they put their hands forward to cushion their fall.  A soft whimper escaped their lips as they rolled over and checked their freshly scuffed knee.  They couldn’t sit for long as an unfamiliar monster leaped out towards Frisk, barely missing them as Frisk yelled out and rolled to the side.

You watched, helplessly, as a monster that you were unfamiliar with attack Frisk.  Frisk rolled over onto their knees before leaping towards the stick they were holding earlier.  The monster leaped at them once more as Frisk raise their stick to knock them away.

One hit.  That’s all it took.  The monster had stopped and in an instant their form disintegrated, leaving white dust to settle in its place.

**“You’re thinking they had no choice.”**

They weren’t wrong, that thought may have crossed your mind. You stood there as Frisk pushed themselves up off the ground and shakily continued their way through the ruins.

**“They didn’t stop there.  The continue to kill each monster they came across.  When m...she tried to prevent them from leaving, they didn’t hesitate long.”**

You looked back at Frisk, they were panting, shaking.  They were just a scared child running for their life.  If you were in their shoes would you have been capable of doing any better?

_ “Why hasn’t anyone ever mentioned this?”  _ That was the only thought you couldn’t bring yourself to ignore.

**“They used my magic to RESET.”**  Chara paused as they turned from the thread and walked back to the empty space you had come to know quite well.   **“I offered Frisk a way out of it, allow me to complete my genocide, but they refused.”**   Chara groaned as they turned to look at another thread.  The image reflected off its surface allowing you to take a glimpse of what was happening.

This was after they had killed Sans.  You recognized the golden halls and the warm glow from the magic barrier.  Frisk refused to move as tears ran down their face.  In an instance it went blank, the thread had ended, no new branches were made.  

“ **I allowed it...they told me that they could do better, that humanity was better than this.  They would free them, make friends with all of them.  I believed them.  I wanted to believe them.  I did believe them, for a while.”**   Chara balled up your fist and swung it to your side as they ranted.   **“They lied!  Humanity wasn’t any better!  Nothing had changed!  They were cruel.  Monsters still died.  They don’t even care if it’s their own kind they hurt.  You should know that better than anyone.”**

Chara took a few steps away and waved it away as a new thread replaced it.  Instantly you recognized it as the moment you came here.

**“I convinced Frisk to join Sans in returning to the Underground.  I thought I would find an answer but what we found so much better.”**   You could tell they were grinning as they watched the moment you all found the passage into Gaster’s lab.  “I could feel it.  The magical energy was so dense, it emboldened me.  I only needed to deal with the skeleton first.  Once he was out of the way I could reset and all of this wouldn’t matter.  Frisk couldn’t keep their promise to me so I chose to take back and fix everything.  They wouldn’t need to continue suffering if we just did things my way to start with.”

_ “You’re wrong.” _

Those words escaped you faster than you could stop yourself.

**“Excuse me?”**

_ “I said you’re wrong!”  _  You felt more confident as you spoke.   _ “Killing everyone isn’t a better option!  Why do you think you get to choose what is best for everyone?  These are their lives!  If they want to live why not let them?  There are always going to be jerks in the world.  You can’t protect them from everyone.  What would that make you?  You can’t make this decision for them!” _

**“How could you even understand?  You only saw a glimpse of what I have been through.  How could you EVER understand how it feels to die, not only once, but multiple times!  It was stupid to ever think that what you’ve experienced could even be compared to mine.”**

They angered you.  You know that their anger was mixing with your own, but it helped fuel your strength.  Part of what they said was right but they were in control.  They could have stopped at any time.  The suicide...the genocide...the human village...all of it was their choice.  What you went through, the nightmare you’ve bottled up for years only to finally begin able to come to terms with it.  How could they even compare their tragedy to yours?  You never had a choice.

_ “No...no I don’t understand what it’s like to actually die.” _   You took a deep breath to try and calm down.  You couldn’t let their anger consume you.   _ “It’s painful and-” _

**“You can never understand what I went through!”**   You felt a terrible pain twist in your stomach as they continued.   **“I told myself that I was doing this for mom...for dad...for him…  Every day was harder than the last.  We were powerful, more powerful than either of us could have imagined.  Then he betrayed me.  Frisk betrayed me...and you...I have no reason to trust you.”**

_ “I can’t understand?  No, YOU cannot understand!” _  You felt something snap within you as felt yourself regaining control.  In that brief moment, you flexed your fingers and held your hand out.

‘What are you doing?!”

You didn’t answer.  As a thread came into view you used the last ounce of strength to step through the cracked thread.

For a moment, you felt calm.  The sound of cars driving on a busy street out somewhere nearby.  It was dark, maybe the middle of the night.  You couldn’t tell exactly, but the calming feeling you’ve felt dissipated as you felt your heart began to race.

It was different this time.  You were guided by fear.  Your hand reached out in the darkness to reach for a familiar hand but there was no one else there.  Sans wasn’t there, not this time.  Regret raced through your mind as you thought about turning back.  You hand finally just begun to heal, to accept it.  You couldn’t even begin to imagine just how hard this was going to be.

**“Where are we?”**

Chara’s voice startled you in the silent home.  You couldn’t keep quiet for long.  You took a deep breath to attempt to calm your racing heart as you took a look around the room.

_ “This was my home...this was before...before the fire.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Sorry, it has been a bit since the last update. Life has been busy but mostly writer's block took a while for me to get through. I'm hoping to have another chapter soon.


	47. Painful Memories

You felt a chill run up your spine as your legs carried you through the long forgotten halls.  Each room you passed memories began to flood your head but at the same time, you felt like they were distant, that they weren’t real, in a way.  Your legs finally stopped outside a closed door.  You hesitated but something within you pushed you forward.  Maybe it was Chara, you weren't sure.  All you knew is that the sound of your quickening heart drowned out all other sounds.

The room beyond the door was lit dimly by a lone night light.  You glanced around the room seeing the various toys, stuffed animals, and pictures scattered around.  The pounding of your racing heart slowly faded as you took in your surroundings, feeling a loss fondness that was long forgotten.  You could hardly stand to look before.  You didn’t want to remember, you still didn’t want to remember.  You wished Sans was here with you again.

A sudden noise jolted you from the fondness of distant memories.  A part of you had forgotten that this was your room.  It felt strange.  The small sleeping child in the bed slept innocently, ignorant to you being in the room.

A distant noise from outside your bedroom drew your attention as you turned away from your sleeping self.  The sound of your heart began to roar in your ears once again.  The rest of the house was dark as you stepped back into the hallway.  You waited for your vision to adjust and jumped as something small darted through the darkness before bumping into something.

Calling out for it would be useless.  You weren’t supposed to be there, they shouldn’t hear you.  You clasped your hand to your mouth as you took a step forward.  The lights from the distant street lamp painted an angled square on the floor below.  You followed the light to the window which you now only noticed it being cracked open.

A white scarf sat on the windowsill next to a pair of matching mittens.  They were small, probably yours.  You didn’t even remember them.  Nothing felt real.  You knew this wasn’t your memory.  This was a record of time, and your memory only accesses bits and pieces of it before.

You jumped back as the small shadow leaped from its hiding spot on the floor to the windowsill.  A pair of amber eyes stared right at you as a small tail tenderly twitched as it curled up on its side.

“Peaches…” You spoke softly as you recognized the small calico kitten.

It was a silly name, but you were young, and you couldn’t help the fond smile that began to tug on the corners of your mouth.  You had forgotten her for all these years, but here she was.  You wished you could reach out and pet her but she turned without paying any attention to you as she began to forcefully open the window.  In the process, the scarf and mittens left fell as the window gave way to the persistent feline.  In an instant, she was gone, outside to who knows where.

There was a “pop” that startled you as a white flash drew your attention to the floor.  You froze as the small damp glove lay atop an overloaded wall outlet.  It sparked and the glove fell to the floor as it began to smolder.

You repeated over and over in your head as you watch the driest part of the mitten catch fire that you, right now, were okay.  This was only the past.  Your mouth was dry as you tried to swallow as you took a few cautious steps backward away from the glowing flame spread as it reached the edge of the curtain.

Chara at some point had gone quiet.  Maybe they pieced together what was happening.  Part of you was thankful for their silence.  It gave you time to process what was happening.  Many times you asked how could this have happened.  You were given an answer finally.  You could blame the kitten for knocking the gloves off the windowsill, or you could blame yourself for probably leaving the gloves there.  

You felt empty, in a way.  Knowing how didn’t make you feel better.  You jumped when you bumped into the wall behind you.

The fire spread faster than you expected.  You questioned why the alarm above didn’t activate.  Memories of that night filled your head as your ears filled with the sound of the roaring flame mixed with a distant alarm.  Maybe it wasn’t yours?  How close were the neighbors?  You fumbled as the flames began to spread.

The curtain bar rattled as the fabric fell to the floor.  Shadows danced over the objects in the room as the black smoke rose to the ceiling.  The carpet smoldered as the flames crawled out in every direction.  The room was getting warmer, drier as you noticed your surrounds.

There was a giant fir tree sat prettily decorated near what looked like the front window.  For a moment you recalled the few nights you would come home and see the tree lit up.  Those memories vanished in seconds as the flames reached the tree.  

It was horrifying, the flames erupted as the tree was swallowed by the orange glow and the black smoke.  Your vision dimmed as the smoke became thicker.  A room of color painted red and black.  

You found yourself moving along the wall as you back stepped down the hallway.  You were in front of your room.  Your door was closed, keeping the billowing smoke out but you turned your head to see a door opened at the end of the hallway.  You didn’t even need to think.  You squeezed your eye shut as you pushed yourself through your door.  You took what little solace in knowing they didn’t experience any pain.

The lights flickered and soon the night light that lit your room faded as the power failed.  Your small body tossed in the bed, oblivious to the dangers that existed beyond the wooden door frame.  Minutes later the glow of the flame reached your door and smoke began to fill the room.  Your head began to spin as the sound of the smoke detector outside your bedroom door finally sounded its alarm.

It brought a moment of clarity to you before you felt anger twist the fear inside you.  Why now?  Why did it finally start blaring now?  Why not sooner?  It was too late.  Your attention turned to your younger self as you fell out of bed, startled by the alarm.

You were disorientated, confused.  How much smoke had you already inhaled?

_ “Mommy?” _

Your heart stung as you watched your younger self choke and cry.  You couldn’t help but slump to the floor next to her.  There was nothing you could do at this point in time to stop what was to happen.

You resigned yourself to the inevitable.  You came here to prove to Chara you understood but you weren’t prepared.  All you wanted to do was squeeze your eye shut and cover your ears.  It wasn’t long before the screams began.

You held your breath as you couldn’t bear to look.  You knew what was happening.  The blood curdling, painful, animalistic screams as for the first time in a while your right side ached.  Your heart pounded in your chest as you felt yourself go in and out of consciousness.

It would be over in a minute.  You regretted coming here.  You weren’t ready, you didn’t know if you could ever be ready for this.  You weren’t thinking clearly when you came here.  You let your anger get the best of you.  Proving a point wasn’t worth reliving this.

**“That’s enough.”**

Chara’s voice silenced the world around you as you felt your head begin to clear.

**“I get it...I was wrong.”**

You still didn’t have the strength to move.  Your stomach flipped over and over as you took heavy, deep breaths to calm yourself.  

_ I’m not dead. _

Your words echoed in the back of your head as you turned your head to catch just a glimpse of your still body.

_ You’re an anomaly. _

_ Without time… _

Gaster spoke with you, telling you that you had no records of time of your own.  You existed in the presence of other’s memories.  You existed outside the flow of time, but you existed here.  The color vanished around you as the record of this timeline ended.  

**“Why are we still here?”**

You ignored Chara as a thousand questions ran through your head at once.  Something was missing.  What changed?  What didn’t happen?  

**“Gaster didn’t come here.”**

_ “What?”  _ You were taken aback when Chara spoke up.

**“You made it so Gaster didn’t fall.”**  There was a pause before they spoke again.   **“These records of time lineup.  You changed the flow of this record.”**

_ “I don’t understand.” _  How could he...for a brief moment you recalled the shard in your pocket.  You remembered the stories how you were found in the home’s basement when you were recovered from your home.  You remember falling and fading into darkness.  

_ Shatter across time and space… _

_ “It doesn’t make sense.  _ _ Gaster showed me pieces of this thread before.  I saw myself die.”  _  You choked on your words.  You hated this place, the paradoxes it created.  You still being here didn’t make sense.  If Gaster didn’t fall, your life up until recently would have been much easier.  Gaster wouldn’t have possessed you, nothing made sense.

_ Anomaly… _

You were different.  You didn’t follow the flow of time.  You could interact with the records and alter the threads.  If you could figure out how to alter your thread, figure out what this shard remaining of Gaster’s soul was for, maybe you could leave.  

What about Chara though?

While you were distracted by thought Chara had regained control of your body.  The thread disappeared from around you Chara pushed yourself to your feet.  They were silent as they stood in the blackness of the space between time.  Your strength was gone.  The anger that fueled you gone.  You just felt empty.  Vulnerable.

**“This doesn’t change anything.”**  Chara finally spoke after a moment.   **“At this rate, nothing will change!  They’ll always be cruel.  What’s the point in letting this timeline continue?  It will just result in the same anyway.  Why do you intend to keep me locked away here?”** Chara yelled as they turned to catch a glimpse of a random thread.

_ “You want to kill everyone.” _

**“I want to save them.  He was wrong, Frisk was wrong.  You’ve all been wrong this entire time!  The surface isn’t all sunshine and rainbows.  Don’t try to paint it like it is!  They’re better off never reaching it.  The hopes and dreams they had...they’ll be disappointed.  It’s just another cage, only no place is safe.”**

_ “You don’t get to make that decision!  Why do you think anyone would want this? No, it’s not always a happy place.  There was no chance here.  On the surface there is!  Happiness isn’t just handed to you.  You have to work at it!  Find people who love and care about you.  You make a home, Chara!” _

**“Did you find that place?”**  There was a pause as their sudden question caught you off guard,  **“No, It doesn’t seem so.  Did you forget that you and I are sharing the same space?  You weren’t happy.  If Frisk didn’t break the barrier what would have happened to you?”**

You didn’t know.  You didn’t want to die, but you weren’t exactly living.  You realized that.  You had school, your dream of illustrating children’s books.  You enjoyed reading to the children in the library.

You were lonely, isolated from others for a long time.  You only have yourself to blame for that.  You didn’t want to think, no, you couldn’t think how your life would have been without meeting everyone.  Everyone welcomed you, a stranger with too many secrets and a heart full of shame and self-loathing.  They met the real you, the you who was desperately reaching out.

You wanted your life back.  You wanted to hang out with Alphys and Undyne again.  You wanted to go shopping with Alphys and Undyne again.  They helped you regain your confidence, feel pretty in your own skin.  At the sleepover, Alphys talked about her love of Mew Mew Kissy Cutie.  You had never seen it but you wanted to.  You wanted to sit up all night talking again, just hanging out like normal friends do.

You missed Papyrus going to the grocery store and picking up so much food it filled your cabinets to the brim.  You missed the spaghetti and the heart to heart talks with his carrying innocence that masked that he knew more than he let on.  You missed the silly sweater he gave you and the terrible movie nights of some Mettaton rerun that he probably saw for the thousandth time but still his eyes lit up with excitement each time.

Toriel warmly accepted you into her home over the holidays and the night everything went wrong.  She was a matriarch of your new family that you had slowly become a part of and wanted more time to get to know her.  

Frisk, the child who made a miracle happen.  They somehow destroyed the barrier keeping everyone you have come to know and love.  You first met them when they were sick and helped Sans pick out medicine to help nurse their cold.  They were extremely active, silly, and at times too mature for their age.  You supposed having survived the Underground would probably do that.

You finally came to recall Sans.  You first met him at the pharmacy and later he had asked about the spare rooms in your home.  He couldn't leave you alone and somehow he gave you the push to open up to the world around you.  He never gave up on you, a stranger.  You could never thank him enough for his kindness.  At some point, you fell in love.  Being around him felt right, and little by little you let your guard down.  You still struggled with asking for help, and you’ve bitten off more than you could chew at this point, but you couldn’t give up.  You wanted to become a better person. You wanted to be a better person.  You wanted to make him happy.

You took a slow breath as you gathered the words you wanted to say.  

_ “I don’t have all the answers.  It is a miracle I’m even here.  For so long I dwelled on my past and never looked forward.  Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, Toriel, Frisk, Sans...none of them stopped looking forward.  They were happy.  Yeah, some really shitty things happened to me.  I broke Sans’ trust when I didn’t tell him about Gaster and refused to ask for help.  I followed Gaster because I wanted answers.  I kept trying to figure things out on my own.  It was scary and I’m not sure if I’ll be trapped here the rest of my life.  I couldn’t allow you to kill Sans back in the lab, if you would have reset within Frisk you would have tried to kill everyone again.  I can’t stand by and let you do this.  I can’t risk you killing everyone I’ve come to love!” _

Chara didn’t miss a beat.  

**“I had to make Frisk reset.  If you wouldn’t have interfered I would have been able to do it.  I could have made it where Frisk never fought** **_him_ ** **and break the barrier.”**

Ignoring the fact that Chara had chosen to ignore most of what you said, or quite frankly didn’t care, you heard them mention “him”, Asriel, right?  That’s who they have been referring to for a while.

_ “Him?  You mean Asriel?  Chara...he’s dead.  How could-” _

**“I was dead…”**

They weren’t wrong.  You really shouldn’t be surprised but this, but you couldn’t help it.  You don’t recall ever seeing the monster child within any glimpse of the past.  Chara didn’t wait as they continued.

**“You’ve actually met them, but I guess you wouldn’t recognize him, after all, he is a** **_flower_ ** **now.”**

If you could, you’d have held your breath you would.  The Recent memory of a certain flower hasn't left a good impression.  For whatever reason they know didn't like you and attacked you back in Snowdin.  However, Flowey, the flower, didn't act like Asriel at all.

_ “There is no way that could be him…” _

**“You wouldn't be you without your soul either.”**

There was no indication that Chara was lying.  There wasn't a logical reason they would about this.  The more you learned about the Underground the more confused you became.  You still had to figure something out.  Chara wasn’t listening to you.  The only people Chara seemed to care to listen to was Frisk and Asriel.  You needed to find Frisk.  Finding Asriel...or Flowey, in this case, wasn’t something you truly wanted to do.  Flowey wasn’t exactly kind to you the last time you saw him and you would rather not push your luck.  First things first, you needed your body back.  You couldn’t allow Chara to remain in control.  

It was like pulling yourself up to stand after being weighed down.  You still felt drained from experiencing the thread of your death but you had to pull yourself together.  You needed to figure out what to do with Chara and find a way out of here.  Chara didn’t want to relinquish control of your body but with a little more force of your own determination granted you control once again.

**“You are annoying!”**

You didn’t care.  The feeling was mutual.  You glanced at the thread that Chara was looking into and saw nothing that interested you.  You needed to find a point where you may be able to speak with Frisk.  They’ve known Chara a lot longer than you have.  If there was a way to change Chara’s mind, they may know.  You held your hand out and thought of Frisk as you tried to isolate a thread.  It didn’t take long and you headed in.  

You were blinded by the warm light flooding in through the stained glass windows.  You were confused at first, this place seemed to be important to a lot of different threads.  You let out a soft sigh as you attempted to collect yourself.  A certain voice you didn’t expect to hear jarred you as you quickly spun around to make sure your ears weren’t deceiving you.  You felt your heart skip a beat as you saw Sans standing next to Frisk.

“I’m proud of you, kid.”  Sans’ voice echoed off the walls and high ceilings of the quiet hallway.  Sans sounded exhausted but his voice still carried a gentle fondness.  

You missed him.  It must have been a while since saw him.  The way he stood, a bit more slouched than usual, the way he moved sluggishly and leaned against the nearby pillar made it clear.

“All that’s left is to meet Asgore.  I have to say, I don’t think I’m going to allow the weed to-”  Sans began before Frisk cut them off.

**_“No!  You can’t change what happens!  If something changes now I don’t know if the barrier will break.  Please, Sans, just trust me.  I want everyone to be free, I only have this one chance.”_ ** Frisk’s voice echoed loudly through your core.  

Sans heard them loud and clear.  A frown tugged at the corners of his mouth in disapproval but his shoulders sagged and he inevitably nodded.  He didn’t have the energy to argue, and he honestly didn’t want to entangle in that flower’s vines again.  He just wanted to see the sun again, be free, and hopefully see you.

Frisk watched Sans for a moment before turning away.  They took a few steps before turning back to offer a small wave before taking off in a sprint towards the other end of the hallway.  Sans stood there, his hand extended to return the wave before his glance turned towards the light outside.

“Good luck kid.  We’re all rooting for you.”  Sans flicked his wrist as a tear opened up as quickly as Sans jumped through it.  In seconds he was gone and no one remained in the hallway except for you.

You held your breath as you turned to follow after Frisk.  You don’t know what was waiting around the corner, but Frisk had taken off quickly to greet it.  You had to find a time to speak with them.  You stopped short of the doorway, apprehension took over and you couldn’t move forward.  There was a terrible, heavy, negative feeling welling up inside you as you leaned against the frame.

_ “What’s wrong Chara?” _

You weren’t surprised by their silence.  Whatever was there, Chara didn’t want you to go.  You wouldn’t let them stop you.  You forced yourself to take the steps forward to enter the room.  As you looked around it became clear why Chara did not like this room.

Golden flowers bloomed all over the grass-covered floor.  In the middle of the room sat a single chair, large enough for a king.  You could sense a powerful magic somewhere behind the throne as well as hear a distant hum.  The light, the magic, and the sound all must have been the barrier.  You scanned the room for any signs of Frisk.  You couldn’t miss them thankfully.  They stood before the throne, quietly whispering something as a flash of yellow bobbed side to side.  You lightly bit your lip as you realized it wasn’t just a golden flower, no, it was Flowey, and for whatever reason, you sensed something wasn’t right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...Happy belated Halloween!
> 
> Things have been busy and my health hasn't been great the last few weeks.
> 
> I went to a marathon on the 22nd in October. I was outside from 6:30am to 5pm in the afternoon. I forgot my jacket so I was shivering all morning. My brother finished a full marathon of 26.2m (or 42km) in five and a half hours. Pretty exciting and happy for him. Was tired and hungry by the time we got home. I ended up getting sick the following weekend and was out of commission for a few days. I've still not fully recovered and have a pretty bad cough, but otherwise, I'm doing better.
> 
> Speaking of Halloween...that was my birthday. I spent the evening playing Deceit with a few friends before curling up and trying to sleep with a terrible cough.
> 
> I also wanted to apologize for how long it's been since the last update. I'll be honest, I'm getting a lot of writer's block and at times it's just been super hard to write. I wrote most of this chapter back on the day of the marathon and I've been writing in my notebook as I lay in bed. A few things that have been helping me get through this writer's block has been working on an outline for my next story. I still never expected Patchwork to be this long. I honestly thought I would be done in like 20 chapters but here we are...chapter 47...over 252k words in before submitting this chapter. I love this story, I love writing it, and my goal is to have this done before its second anniversary.
> 
> Again, I really want to say thank you for reading. I love all the comments. I've been bad about replying to all of them lately. I see them, I love them. The long letter spams or the written squeels and screams. I love it. I grin ear to ear and it makes me even more excited to write. I love you guys, seriously. Thank you so much. I'll see you soon. Going to work on chapter 48 now.


	48. Hope

_ “What are you doing here Flowey?  It’s too soon!” _ Frisk’s soul cried out.  You could sense the panic as they looked side to side.   _ “Where is Asgore?  He is supposed to be here!  He has never been missing from this place before!” _

“I distracted him.  Frisk, I needed to talk to you.  You still haven’t explained this before!  Why are we doing this again?  Why did you RESET?” Flowey didn’t sound happy.  His eyes glared up at Frisk and for a moment you swore they darted in your direction for a second before returning to Frisk.

_ “I didn’t want to.  I never wanted everything that we’ve done to come undone.  Something happened.”  _

“What happened?  Something is different with you Frisk.  Your soul...what happened to it?  It wasn’t that girl, was it?” Flowey prodded again before his eyes darted at you once again.  

You were uncomfortable being near them but they didn’t seem to want to act out in front of the small child.  There was something about Frisk that everyone loved.  You couldn’t put your finger on it but it was like no one wanted to disappoint Frisk.  

**I told you already.  Frisk has the ability to SAVE.  Everyone respects them.  They’re a fool, you know.  Even after Flowey betrayed them, nearly killed them using the human’s souls, they still forgave him.  They changed a lot of monsters’ lives.**

You recalled Chara mentioning this before.  They freed everyone from the Underground.  You may not know how but the fact that they did it is still impressive.  There is a gratefulness but you believe that is only part of it.  Frisk was always wearing a smile.  

“Girl?  I...I don’t remember.  I can’t remember a lot of the RESETs Flowey.  Sans mentioned someone else as well-”

“The smiley trash bag remembers this time?  How much does he remember?  How?”

_ “I don’t know Flowey.  Maybe who you’re talking about has something to do with this but if Sans is worried about them they can’t be intending anything bad.  I want to believe that this was an accident.” _ Frisk knelt down to get closer to Flowey so he wouldn’t need to speak as loudly for Frisk to hear them.

“Is anyone there?” A distant, deep voice echoed out from the hallway behind the throne.

“Frisk!  I don’t want to fight you.  If you distract him I will collect the SOULs.  I will borrow everyone’s soul again and meet you back where we first met again.  I’m sure  _ he  _ will want to talk to you.” Flowey sunk into the ground as a large monster appeared at the hallway entrance behind the throne.  Quietly, Flowey spoke again, “I will go and have Papyrus gather everyone here.”  Without another word, Flowey disappeared into the ground leaving Frisk to push themselves to their feet and walk out from in front of the throne so that the monster could see them.

You were startled just by how large they were.  You thought Toriel, Undyne, and Papyrus were large when it came to monsters.  They didn’t even compare.  What was the name that Frisk said before?

“Oh,” Asgore’s sad smile fell as he realized who was standing before him.  The corners of his mouth fell as his shoulders slumped for a moment before he took a few steps into the throne room and placed a watering can he had be carrying down on the ground beside him.  “I so badly want to say, ‘would you like a cup of tea?’ but...you know how it is.”  Asgore took a few steps into the room, breaking eye contact with Frisk as he turned his head to stare out one of the stained glass windows located to his right.  He sighed softly before turning back to frisk.  “Nice day today, huh?  Birds are singing, flowers are blooming...perfect weather for a game of catch.” When Frisk did not respond their eyes looked off to their side as the spoke once more.  “You know what we must do.  When you are ready, come into the next room.” Asgore turned as he turned back to leave out the hallway he had entered from.  Frisk didn’t wait as they followed after Asgore.

You had only ever seen them on television.  You thought it was a strange viewing angle, or just thought you weren’t seeing him clearly.  He looked a lot bigger in person and you couldn’t help but feel intimidated by him but at the same time, the monster that had appeared before you had looked so sad.  His thoughts were elsewhere, he was stalling.

**“He is a coward.  He never needed Frisk’s soul.  If he would have taken the first soul and used that all the pain everyone had suffered could have been avoided.  Gaster would have never been stuck in the space between time and you would have never thought to trap me there.”**

It didn’t matter at this point.  You didn’t like the fact that you were messing with the flow of time.  You didn’t know Asgore or his reasons why for the decisions he had made.  Using the fallen children’s souls to assist breaking the barrier was never spoken about for reasons that were obvious.  When the monsters first appeared on the surface after centuries of being long forgotten to the point that people only thought of them to be made up or belonged in classic stories.  People wouldn’t react well knowing that they had killed children, no matter the reason.  

You followed after Frisk as they caught up to Asgore.  You stood back and watched as the King of monsters drew his weapon and readied his reluctant fight with Frisk.  Frisk dodged Asgore’s attacks one by one and came to a point where Frisk had to fight back.  You watched as this child who you had come to know regretfully attack the monster king before them.

Asgore fell to his knee as Frisk made one final attack.  Asgore sighed before he spoke.

“Ah, so that’s how it is.”  There was a pause before he took a deep breath and continued to speak.  “I remember the day after my son died.  THe entire underground was devoid of hope.  The future had once again been taken from us by the humans.  In a fit of anger, I declared war.  I said that I would destroy any human that came here.  I would use their souls to become godlike,”  Asgore paused once again as he took in another breath,  “and free us from this terrible prison.  Then, I would destroy humanity and…” Asgore paused again as a breath caught in his throat.  “And let monsters rule the surface, in peace.”  

Asgore smiled for a second as he recalled a memory.  “Soon, the people’s hopes returned.  My wife, however, became disgusted with my actions.  She left this place never to be seen once again.”  Asgore paused again as sadness clouded his eyes once again.  The smile he had fell as his voice shook a little as he spoke, “Truthfully...I do not want power.  I do not want to hurt anyone.  I just wanted everyone to have hope.  But...I cannot take this any longer.  I just want to see my wife.  I just want to see my child.  Please, young one, this war has gone on long enough.  You have the power.  Take my soul, and leave this cursed place.” 

Your heart weighed heavy as he spoke.  Finally, you understood.  This wasn’t about killing children, or even humans.  This was about giving his people hope.  Hope that everyone desperately needed when their future looked bleak.  Asgore did what he felt he had to, said things out of anger that he didn’t mean but was then stuck to follow his own words.  You thought back to the things you had said in anger to the ones you loved and regretted saying it.  The last thing you told Sans before coming to the Underground was still fresh in your mind.  You never wanted that kind of situation to happen again.

Frisk did not move at first.  Tears beaded at the corner of their eyes as they shook their head.  They refused to take Asgore’s soul.  Asgore, who had lost almost all hope couldn’t help but smile at the child’s gesture.  He was sure that this was his end, but Frisk was the same.  They didn’t want to hurt anyone either.  

You heard the sound of someone’s feet echoing on the floor behind you before a spark of magical fire formed at Asgore’s side.  It collided with him and knocked him back, but did not hurt him. You turned around to see Toriel, out of breath with a mix of worry, regret, and anger on her face.  When she saw frisk her anger left her as her face softened.  She ran over to Frisk and hugged them tightly.  As any true mother would act, she would protect them.

It wasn’t long until Undyne ran passed with her usual energy.  She stood beside Asgore and whispered something after motioning to Toriel.  You didn’t have have a chance to figure out what she asked him before Alphys ran passed you to join Undyne at her side.  Papyrus wasn’t far behind as he leaped to the middle of the room and loudly asked for everyone to stop smiling.  You couldn’t help but smile as you saw all your friends once again, alive and well.  You missed them.  When Papyrus noticed Toriel he loudly whispered to Frisk, asking if Asgore had shaved.  You couldn’t help but laugh.  It seems like no one had seen her before.  

“Hey, guys, what’s up?” Sans spoke as he slowly sauntered in.  Your heart ached as he stood unknowingly beside you.  You smiled and noticed how tired he still looked.  It would be over soon.  Everyone would be free.  Toriel ran over to Sans and you realized that this too was the first time that they had met in person in this timeline.  She joked, Papyrus smiled but complained and overall everyone’s mood was rising.  People were laughing, no one wanted to fight.  Everyone was perfect until you heard a crash and vines grew up from the ground and entangled everyone.  

In flash of white everyone was gone.  You shielded your eye until the light had gone.  Your vision was fuzzy as you finally able to focus on two figures.  You recognized Frisk right away, but it took you a second to realize the other small monster child standing in front of them.

**_“Told you.”_ **

Chara’s words were snippy, but you stood quietly, giving everything time in your head to process.  Everyone was gone except for Frisk and Flowey had indeed been Asirel.  The Underground gave you a headache.

“Frisk, I don’t want to fight you.  Everyone...I can feel their fears but I can feel their hope as well.  I’m going to break the barrier with everyone again but you still need to save them.  Papyrus, Sans, Alphys, Undyne, Mom...Dad…” Asriel spoke softly as his paws held his chest endearingly.  “They still need you.”  

Frisk nodded as they held their left hand out towards Asriel.  Asriel smiled as he pulled his hands away from his chest and extended his right hand to hold Frisk’s.  In his left was a brilliant iridescent soul.  Everyone was there, the human souls were there.  Everyone’s hopes and dreams all contained in Asriel’s monster soul.  The next moment Frisk slumped to their knees as if they fell asleep.  Asriel knelt down beside them and made sure Frisk was comfortable as he lightly sighed.  He turned his gaze to glance behind him.  The barrier hummed before he began to speak.

“It makes a bit more sense now, that I’m no longer a flower.” Asriel paused as he turned back to Frisk and brushed the hair out of their eyes.  “The part of you that reminded me of them is gone.  It's almost silly how I once had mistaken you for them.” 

**_“Wait.”_ **

Chara’s voice commanded you as you halted your steps towards the children.  You didn’t understand why until Asriel looked up in your direction.

“It’s easier to see it now, the part of them is with you now, right?” Asriel smiled but did not try to stand.

You were taken aback.  “Can you see me?”  

“Of course, oh!  I guess that’s weird.  Golly, I didn’t mean to startle you!” Asriel caught themselves before gently tugging on one of their ears.  “I...I mean...Flowey has been keeping an eye on you every time you’ve kinda just appeared.”  Frisk signaled that they were waking up.  “Please come with me after I break the barrier.  I’d like to speak with you more.”

Asriel left Frisk to rest on the ground as he stood up and faced the barrier.  He took a deep breath and the overwhelming sensation of magic that rivaled the strength of the barrier.  There was a rumble and the sound of magic clashing with magic shattered the barrier that locked the monsters away.  There was another flash of blinding light that you shielded your eye away from it.  The light faded and you lowered your hand only to have something soft and warm grasp it.  You looked down through a squinted eyelid to barely make out Asriel.  He gave you a reassuring smile before vanishing.

Frisk slept quietly on the floor as everyone gathered nearby there were worried glances shared with each other.  They were at a loss for words and did not know what just happened to them.  Frisk finally woke up and sat up to everyone's relief.  Everyone laughed and smiled before hurrying off towards the exit where you could see light from the real sun peak in for the first time.

_ This is when everyone became free... _

The sun was warm.  It was bright, but it was a welcomed brightness compared to the artificial light that the underground offered.  The space between time held no light as well, things just existed, but all around you was an empty darkness that never ended.  The warmth of the sun caressed your skin and you felt your chest swell as you caught your breath.

Everyone was in silent awe.  A day that some had believed would never come was here at last.  Fresh air, green grass, and trees.  A yellow sky that would turn into a beautiful light blue as the sun rose high in the sky.  In the distance, you recognized your city.  The outskirts were so small.  Your home wasn’t even built yet.  That would change soon, however, once Frisk, and the Royal family came to the city.

Undyne stood, mouth agape as she stared into the distance.  You could barely make it out but on the other side of the city was a giant lake.  It wasn’t the ocean, but it was still more water than what was in Waterfall. 

Alphys gripped Undyne’s hand tightly as she looked out upon the horizon.  Tears freely falling from her eyes at the sight.  Undyne must have noticed as she tore her eyes away from the view and knelt down beside Alphys and wrapped her arm around her and pulled her into a gentle embrace.  She lightly kissed her forehead before turning back to look out at the view again.

Toriel stood off on her own, lightly dabbing her eyes as she took in the surface’s beauty.  Asgore had tried to approach her but she shot him a glare and he took the hint to keep his distance.  Frisk stood at her side and when they gently tugged on her dress she looked down and the malice in her eyes vanished and the familiar warmth swelled as she gently patted them on the head and gently pulled them into a hug against her.  When Frisk pulled away she resisted them for a moment before releasing them.  She smiled and watched Frisk run off to stand next to Asgore.  The warmth her smile offered left her as she watched her ex and Frisk interact.  There was a sadness, perhaps a memory of how things used to be and what they couldn’t be.  She turned away and looked back towards the sunrise, admiring the view and allowing herself this freedom to express this melancholy freely.

You heard Papyrus and Sans speaking quietly behind everyone.  You chuckled as you remembered how Papyrus’ whispers were just as loud as any other person’s normal indoor speaking voice.  No one seemed to mind but Papyrus was pointing at things and asking Sans questions.  Sans was happy to answer as he followed Papyrus’ gloved hand and explained things one by one.  When Papyrus had heard what he wanted to he left Sans’ side and ran up to the edge to get a better view, admiring the world with everyone else.

You watched as Sans took a moment before following after Papyrus.  He took a seat on the edge of the cliff and the lights of his eyes vanished as he rested silently in the morning’s sun.  You smiled, knowing he could fall asleep anywhere.  Sans didn’t even notice when Papyrus left his side and fidgeted with something in his hands.

Frisk left Asgore’s side and ran up to Papyrus.  At first, distress was written clearly across Papyrus’ face but soon it changed to surprise.  The familiar budding happiness returned as he spoke softer than you’ve ever heard him into the phone.  Frisk grasped his leg and Papyrus looked down and smiled brightly as he hung up his phone.

“Do not worry small human!  If you would have asked me a moment before how I thought today was and I would have answered that today was the greatest day of my life, but I would have only been half right.  It is not often that I am this close to being wrong but I have just received the greatest news that is only second to this very moment!  I must return to New Home at once but do not worry, friend, I will not be gone long.”  Papyrus had turned to leave but Frisk caught their hand.  “Oh?  Do you need to see someone as well?  You can accompany me part of the way.  As newly appointed to be a part of the Royal Guard my first task will be to escort you safely to the edge of New Home.”  Frisk giggled as they took Papyrus’ hand and headed back into the underground.

You smiled fondly at Sans one last time before leaving your friends to take in the surface in and look forward to their future living on the surface.  You caught up to Papyrus and Frisk and kept a steady pace behind them.  It wasn’t like they knew you were there, but you still felt awkward as you listen to Papyrus excitedly speak.

“Human, when everything is settled and we have introduced ourselves to the other humans and you have settled in with...Toriel,” Papyrus paused as he tried to remind himself that she was not Asgore, even though they looked very similar.  Nevertheless, he smiled and moved past that and continued along his line of thought, “I would like it very much if you would visit us again.  Maybe this time will be able to meet our eldest brother.”

You realized that you hadn’t seen Gaster at all since you viewed a glimpse of the thread that you had ‘fixed’.  There had been no sign or mention of him that you had noticed.  You had been wrapped up in Chara and figuring out how to fix everything that he had slipped your mind.

Frisk looked up at Papyrus in surprised but didn’t say anything as they continued walking.  Papyrus had changed the subject and spoke with Frisk about how excited they were to finally achieve their dream and see the surface.  He talked about wanting to move to the city and helping others and you couldn’t help but smile.  He was full of hope, everyone was happy.  This is what you had wanted to protect, what you wanted Chara to understand.

Papyrus had come to a stop in the middle of New Home and waved Frisk goodbye.  You stood between the two, debating on which way you wanted to go.  On one hand, you wanted to continue on with Frisk to see where they were heading.  A small part of you believe that Frisk was looking for Asriel, but on the other hand, you wanted to see why Papyrus was here.  He mentioned Gaster and if that’s who he was coming to see you wanted to see him.  You needed to make sure everything was okay.

Before Papyrus could bound out of sight you chased after him.  You would find out where Frisk was heading and meet up with Asriel later.  You needed to see the effect that your magic had on Gaster and how he was living in this timeline now.

Papyrus entered a building and you could recognize the type of place it was just by looking down the quiet hallway.  It was a hospital, and there wasn’t too much different than a human hospital that you were used to.  Sure, some of the tech was a bit outdated, but that was understandable.  The biggest difference was the smell, it lacked the heavy scent of medicine but you could feel a heavy sense of magic.  

The large heavy doors of the hospital shut quietly behind you and the noise that you hadn’t paid any attention to suddenly became muffled.  You turned around and glanced out of the glass doors to see monsters walking in droves towards the castle, towards the broken barrier.  You shuffled your feet and turned back to follow after Papyrus.  The monster at the front desk had gotten up and was walking with Papyrus to the room Gaster must have been staying in.

“It’s a miracle Papyrus.” The monster spoke excitedly, “I know for a while we were unsure if he would ever regain consciousness, but with Dr. Alphys’ help, I’m sure that is the reason we have come this far today.  With any soul trauma, we won't know the extent of it until he is coherent enough for a thorough examination.”

Papyrus nodded as he stopped outside of a hospital room.  He hesitated before turning back to the monster.  “Has he spoken about the accident?” 

The smile the monster had fallen as they shook their head, “Not yet, Papyrus.  He is confused and we had to sedate him earlier.  We believe that having a familiar face by his side would set him at ease.  Please be patient with him.  If you would like I can accompany you inside.”

Papyrus smiled but shook his head, “Everything will be fine.  I would like to speak with him alone.  This is something I had been looking forward to for a long time now.”

The monster nodded and offered a warm smile.  “Okay Papyrus, if you need anything I’ll be at the front desk.”  He waited a moment before leaving Papyrus and heading back towards the direction of the door. 

Papyrus took a deep breath and fiddled with his scarf before raising his hand.  He paused and pulled his hand away.  You watched as his turmoil unfolded on how to approach Gaster.  The accident was over a decade ago.  Papyrus was only a small child.  Would Gaster even recognize him?

The thought never crossed your mind.  Would Gaster forget you and about being trapped in the space between time?  Would he have forgotten his scientists that were lost in the experiment?  Would he, like everyone else, truly just forget?

What about you?  What would happen to you if you were able to truly return to a timeline?  Where would you even begin?  As a child?  That’s where the discrepancy began right?  If you were truly going off the record of time, the shattered thread, you would have died?  

Your soul was fractured, shattering, you were thrown out of a timeline and your consciousness persisted across multiple resets without even realizing it.  The  déjà vu you felt had a meaning but you thought you were just acting crazy, and on top of all your other problems, you refused to entertain the thought that you were crazy.

Papyrus entered the room suddenly and you followed quickly after him.  Papyrus stopped and smiled nervously from the end of the bed and raised his left, shaky hand and waved as he spoke quietly.

“Um...hi...brother…” Papyrus stumbled over his words before he cleared his throat and tried again.  “I’m glad you’re awake.”

Gaster stirred as his eyes opened to follow the voice that spoke with him.  His eyes dilated a little and for a while, he didn’t say anything, but only watched Papyrus at the foot of his bed.  His jaw shook as he attempted to speak, but no words escaped him.  After a moment, his eye eyes lazily drifted off to the side to look elsewhere.

“You have been asleep for a long time, brother,” Papyrus spoke softly.  He fidgeted with his hands and soon found himself reaching for his phone.  He took a moment and turned away from Gaster as he pressed the phone to his ear.  After a moment Papyrus let out a soft sigh and tried dialing the number again.  “Sans?  Why are you not answering your phone!  This is important.”

Gaster stirred and a sound finally croaked out, “Sss...nn..sss…”

Papyrus jumped and closed the phone to turn back to Gaster.  He smiled and nodded.  “Yes, yes!  Sans, your brother!  He isn’t here but will join us later, I’m sure of it.”  Papyrus smiled as he paced a bit back and forth, unsure what to say, or talk about.

Gaster’s eyes drifted around the room before staring off towards where you were standing.  His eyes were piercing right through you, and in a, way you had hoped that he could see you.  If he could see you then there was a chance for you to remember when you returned, whenever that would be.

You stepped towards the bed and held out your hand.  His eyes drifted down to your extended palm and he paused before his own arm jerked slightly.  He was physically weak, his movements were jerky, and his strength gave out more than once but he was determined.  His hand reached out towards you and you smiled.

He could see you.

You jumped back as Papyrus hurried to his side and grasped his hand in his.

“I am right here, brother!” Papyrus smiled as he held his phone in his free hand, continuing to dial Sans’ number on his phone.  Sans helped Gaster return his hand to the bedside and adjusted the bed sheets to allow Gaster to move a bit more freely.  Gaster tried to sit up but Papyrus shook his head and set his phone down on the side of the bed.  “Do not try to force yourself up, I will adjust the bed so that you can be more comfortable.”

Papyrus leaned down and found the bed’s control and pushed the button to raise the head of the bed.  He helped adjust Gaster as the bedding fell around him due to the gravity but he made sure that Gaster’s pillow remained comfortably behind his head and shoulders and kept his back straight.  Papyrus stopped the bed on an incline, understanding at least that Gaster wasn’t strong enough to sit up straight on his own.

Gaster sat, confused and looked around the room again.  He watched Papyrus, his eyes bouncing from left to right as his breathing quickened.

“Take deep breaths.  If you would like to lay back down please give me some sort of sign.  Speaking is difficult and I you should try to regain as much strength as you can.  Give me one moment and I’ll try to contact Sans once more.”  Papyrus smiled as it became just a little easier talking to Gaster, even though Gaster had barely responded to him.  It may have been the small gesture that Papyrus mistook and took it as a sign for him.  Either way, Papyrus was smiling and was doing his best to keep Gaster comfortable.

Papyrus stood in the doorway as he called Sans once more.  This time Sans had picked up.

“SANS!  WHY HAVE YOU NOT BEEN ANSWERING MY CALLS?  I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU FOR AGES!”  Papyrus was a little upset but Gaster had jumped in his bed and Papyrus remembered where he was.  He turned around and smiled but returned his attention to the phone, but kept an eye on Gaster.  Papyrus groaned in annoyance but let the volume of his voice fall as he spoke in a more reasonable tone for his setting, “Sans,”

Gaster’s jaw jerked opened and shut as sounds escaped him again.  “C-c-c-c….”

Papyrus nodded, he couldn’t truly understand what Gaster was trying to say but he gently bounced his phone and pulled his head away from the receiver,  “yes, yes I was finally able to get ahold of him.”

Papyrus returned his attention to the phone and a frown crept across Papyrus’ face as he spoke in a hushed voice.  “Sans, I know you don’t like it but…” Papyrus trailed off as he tried to find his words, “I’m at the hospital in New Home.  Can you come?  I... _ we _ ….need you here.”

Papyrus pulled the phone away from his head and sighed as he closed it.  He turned back towards the bed and smiled once again.  “He’s on his way.  I guess I should begin catching you up on everything you have missed.”

You smiled as you closed your eye and felt a pull as you exited the thread.  You wanted to stay there longer, but you needed to find out where Frisk was going.  You wanted to speak with Asriel again.

**_“I don’t want to see him.”_ **

This was going to be hard but you needed to.  You took a deep breath and turned back to the thread and held out your hand.  You wanted to find Frisk, follow where they went.  It took a moment but it finally focused on Frisk.  You saw them standing in a small patch of yellow flowers that were illuminated from above by a distant light.  In front of them Asriel stood, a sad smile written on their face as the spoke to Frisk.  You didn’t wait but you leaped through and found yourself standing in the small patch of flowers.  Asriel turned, surprised at first but settled down quickly.  Frisk turned to where you stood, looking confused before turning back to Asriel.

_ “What’s wrong Asriel?” _

Asriel shook his head and smiled.  “Frisk, there’s still someone left to save.”  Frisk tilted their head and looked back towards your direction before looking back at Asriel,  _ “Who?  I did everything like before.  You told me I couldn’t save you...not anymore than I had already, I mean.” _

Asriel smiled as he turned around and held out both of his hands towards you.  You felt the familiar pull at your soul and you couldn’t help but feel the breaking pain as your soul left your body.  

**_“Don’t let him!”_ **

You saw the cracks instantly and you couldn’t help but think they looked worse than before.  There were missing fragments and it looked like it would fall apart at any moment.  Through the pain though, you felt a weight lift from you and between you and Asriel your soul floated and around it a small outline took form.  It took a moment but the small shape full formed and a small child that was not too much taller than Frisk stood.  They looked down at their small hands, confused before looking up.

“Chara?” Asriel spoke softly and the child looked up from their hands towards the small goat monster.

Chara turned back to you and glared at you before looking back to where Asriel stood.

“How?” Chara balled up their fists before running towards Asriel.  Asriel cried out in surprised and tumbled over backwards with Chara straddling them and holding them down.  “What did you do?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> This chapter was a lot easier, and having my new keyboard to be able to write in bed has been a tremendous help for days that are just too cold to leave my bed. The building I am living in hasn't turned on the heat just yet so my apartment has been unbearably cold. Either way, I was excited to write and I'm glad this came out faster than time it took chapter 47 to come out.
> 
> I've gotten a lot of my inspiration back, life is calming down and I just feel better. I'm super excited for what I have planned and I'm pushing forward to get there. I know the events in Undertale are different than what I portrayed here. For instance, Asgore doesn't say that speech in the true pacifist run. That's a neutral route, but I needed Reader to hear this to have a better idea of the world the Underground was.
> 
> I'm excited, I want to push this story forward, and I'm still extremely happy that so many of you are still here with me on this journey. For the new readers, and the old, I am extremely thankful. I'll see you guys in the next update.
> 
> Tumblr: kioribug.tumblr.com


	49. Life's Not Fair

You slumped to the ground as you stared on in disbelief. Your soul was right in front of you, inside Chara. Frisk rushed to Asriel’s side and grabbed Chara and pulled them off of him.

“Let go of me!” Chara hissed as they swung their arms. Frisk refused to let go and only held them tighter.

Asriel pushed himself up off of the ground and grabbed a hold of their shirt. Their mouth opened and closed a few times but they were at a loss for words. Chara fought against Frisk’s strength but their eyes never left the small monster prince.

 _“What’s going on Asriel?”_ Frisk struggled with Chara to keep them under control. They were confused and had been startled when the child suddenly appeared between Asriel and themselves.

Asriel finally snapped out of it and broke eye contact with Chara to look up at Frisk. Asriel could feel the hum of Frisk’s soul As he tried to find the right words. Where could he start? He thought he was ready, that he could do this. He glanced over to where you had been sitting but the confusion and fear on your own face didn't help. Asriel took a deep breath and looked back to Frisk.

“You aren't able to recall the previous times that time had reset anymore?”

The question was asked but in the end, it was more like a statement. Asriel knew Flowey knew. Flowey had wanted to attack you because they could tell something was different with Frisk. You recalled Frisk talking with Sans and how they were afraid because they couldn't reset anymore. The means to reset time never truly belong to Frisk. This was Chara's gift.

Frisk shook their head and for a moment their grip on Chara lessened just enough for Chara to break free. They bolted and stumbled to the side before turning around to face them. Their small fists balled up and grabbed onto anything they could. Chara stopped as their hands dug into the soft surface of the soil.

"What-?" Chara paused as they took their eyes on Frisk and Asriel and finally looked around at where they were. They were sitting on the only patch of soft ground surrounded by golden flowers. The same flowers that were growing in the King's throne room, as well as the flower Flowey, was born in Chara had been blinded by their rage that they hadn't noticed they could actually feel the world around them for the first time since they could last remember.

 _"Asriel? How is this possible?"_  Frisk placed their hands over their chest, gripping their shirt tightly in a familiar fashion you had done yourself many times before.

Chara's attention snapped back to Asriel and Frisk before them and Chara scoffed loudly, "You haven't changed at all." Chara laughed and a crooked smile crawled across their face as they watched Asriel take a step away from them. Frisk jumped between the two of them which only made Chara's smile widened. "We both know that the human souls inside of you will leave you. You'll turn back into that soulless flower, which I happen to be an improvement." Asriel's eyes fell and he instinctively reached up and gently grip his ears.

"You sounded pretty confident there a little bit ago. _'Someone else to save.'_ You've met her, invited her here for this purpose. You want Frisk to get rid of me, or is it your other self? Frisk could never do it. However, the soulless one won't feel guilty after the deed is done. You still have a conscious as long as those human souls are inside you. Asriel, the God of Hyperdeath, too afraid to finish what needs to be done to ensure the true happy ending you all have just been wishing for."

No one spoke after Chara was finished yelling. Frisk and Asriel stood, stunned by the harsh words Chara had spat at them. Tears threatened to fall from the corner's of Asriel's eyes but he wouldn't allow them. He breathed in deeply, his nose noticeably runny. He tried a few times to speak but couldn't.

"Still the crybaby as always. If you have something to say then say it!" When Asriel still didn't speak it only made Chara angrier. "What? What do you want? What are you waiting for? Just say what you want to say! You're just dying to tell me you hate me, right? You'll be glad when I'm gone. You're just-"

"Shut up!" Asriel bleated loudly. He was visibly shaken and his voice shook with every word he spoke. "We're already dead, Chara. I don't want to kill you. I don't want to kill you, not now, not ever! I just want you to stop! We've done enough! You've done enough!"

Frisk turned around to their small friend and took their shaking hands into theirs. Asriel looked up at Frisk through watery eyes and smiled. They couldn't help but laugh softly. It was probably at the thought of how ridiculous they probably looked and sounded. "I'm okay Frisk. Don't worry."

With a bit more confidence Asriel took their hands back from Frisk and took a few steps back towards Chara. "We've both been through enough. Our time was up a long time ago. It's time to let it all go."

Chara grabbed a fist full of dirt in their right hand and flung it at Asriel. Dirt clung to Asriel's pure white fur as Asriel raised his arms to shield his eyes instinctively. Chara took this chance to jump to their feet and rush towards Asriel. They tightly gripped at the neck of their shirt and lifted Asriel up off their heels and onto the tips of their toes. Asriel made a startled yelp as their hands gripped Chara's wrists. Their balance was thrown off as they moved their feet. Frisk ran to their sides but Asriel shook their head. Frisk stopped but worriedly looked at the two of them.

You had been forgotten. All attention was turned on Chara and you had to rub your eye because you thought your vision was becoming cloudy. You could see Asriel and Frisk just fine, but Chara's face had become blurred, the top half of their face was hidden as if it had been lost. The only detail you could make out was the lower half of their face.

"What about you? You're still here! You are that damn flower! How many people did you kill? How many timelines did you reset and toy with the same people that I did? You never wanted to save them! You didn't back then! You don't get to pretend you care now!" Chara growled as they shook Asriel.

Asriel waited until Chara was done violently shaking them to speak again. "I did care! I wanted to save everyone! That's what we always wanted and Frisk was able to do it! Why are you fighting them?"

"We would have saved everyone the first time if you only listened to me! You didn't, I knew you would have trouble!" Chara's voice cracked as they continued to yell.

"I couldn't allow us to kill them! I couldn't live with myself if we actually went through with it!" Asriel closed their eyes and gripped Chara's wrists tighter as Chara began to shake him again.

"You got your wish! You got us killed! You just let it happened and didn't even try to protect yourself! All you care about was my b-" Chara's voice broke, it couldn't finish what they were trying to say. Their hands and arms shook violently as they slowly let Asriel stand on their feet once again. Chara refused to let go of Asriel's collar as they glared at the Asriel.

"I didn't want to die Chara. Despite your soul being in mine, that was still you. I didn't want them to hurt you." Asriel could no longer hold his tears back as he let them fall over his dirty cheeks. "It hurt...I was so scared...we shouldn't have done it..."

"You shut me out! You trapped me inside and refused to speak to me! You betrayed me! You killed us Asriel!" Chara shook Asriel again but their heart wasn't in it any longer. Their shoulders fell as they gasped for air between their own sobs. "I didn't want to die either Asriel. It hurt...I did it to myself." Chara choked on their words as the weight of their arms rested on Asriel's chest. "You don't get to tell me how scared and painful it was for you! You betrayed me! I won't forgive you for this."

Asriel shook his head and gently pressed their forehead to Chara's, "I am a coward. I knew it was wrong the whole time but I couldn't speak up. I wanted to believe if you. I wanted to believe that we were the ones to save everyone, but we weren't." Asriel's voice fell to just above a whisper as he continued to speak, "I'm sorry Chara. I'm so sorry for all of this. We should never have done this, but Frisk did. Frisk saved everyone. They can save-"

"Frisk hasn't saved anyone!" Chara pulled away from Asriel and shoved them away forcefully. Asriel stumbled and landed flat on his back. "Frisk is only moving them from one cage to another! Just because there are no walls and they can see the sky doesn't mean they're safe! It only takes one of them to misunderstand something and they'll lash out. How about when they find out about the children souls you have within you right now? How do you think they will react as soon as they hear about that? Did you forget why everyone ended up here in the first place? They were scared, Asriel! They were scared that they would have their souls taken! It didn't matter if it never happened, the chance scared them!"

 _"It's not like that anymore. That didn't happen before time was reset."_ Frisk's soul hummed softly. Asriel smiled at their friend and a small smile tugged at the corners of Frisk's lips. Their soul hummed again as their words pierced the tension that Chara had created. _"You didn't speak to me when everyone left to the surface but I could still feel you were there. I can't lie and say there weren't any problems when everyone began interacting with each other. Everyone was scared and fear can cloud their judgment. There were many who were cruel no matter what was said or done. They didn't care to learn or understand. Some people changed while others refused. For every one horrible person, there were many more people who were more accepting, learned, took the time to understand each other. I want everyone to live in a world full of people like that but it's impossible. Its no difference here. Monsters are not so different than humans."_

"Liar!" Chara growled as they turned from Asriel and faced Frisk. They raised their fist, jabbing their index finger towards Frisk before waving their hand to the side as a sign of absolution. "Monsters are full of love, hope, and compassion! You know as well as I do that humans don't need that to exist!"

Frisk let out a soft sigh but never retreated from Chara. Instead, they took a few steps closer towards them. Chara didn't expect that and took a step back themselves, unsure what Frisk was going to do.

_"Hate...fear...cruelty...that's all learned Chara. Monsters can hate, can fear what they don't understand, and they can be cruel. Undyne hated how nice I was at first, but that was because she thought I was trying to trick her and everyone she was trying to protect. Alphys was afraid to tell others she had failed and couldn't fulfill the promise to the families of the Amalgamates. Asgore ordered the death of any human child who fell into the Underground. You came here and didn't want anyone to die, you wanted what I did. You wanted everyone to be free."_

"Chara...let it be over. Let this be the final reset. Everyone deserves a chance to make this work. Let's end this." Asriel held out his hand out towards Chara.

Chara looked back towards Asriel in silence. They looked at the hand and raised their own only to slap Asriel's hand away.

"It must be so easy for you to tell me to stop. Just leave and let everything I've tried to do be left undone..." Chara spoke slowly as the anger continued to grow, "Quitting had always been so easy for you, hasn't it? Never following through. You've always been a coward and a traitor."

Asriel held his hand as he flinched at Chara's words but he refused to let his guilt stop him, "I should never have let it get that far. You're right, Chara. I was a coward. I was afraid to speak up against you. I knew all along that what you were doing, what *we* were doing, was wrong. I never told you to stop when I should have. When it came to the point where you needed me, I froze. I still didn't tell you to stop. I just ran. I shut you out and over and over in my head I told myself how stupid this was. Chara, I was supposed to be there for you. I said I'd stay by your side and we would fix everything together but I failed you. I failed you when you needed me the most." Asriel paused as he gathered his thoughts. He let his sore hand go and reached out to Chara once again. "I know now that killing those humans wouldn't have helped us. What we could have done may have started another war, one that we couldn't win. I regret what I did to you, but I don't regret never killing those humans."

"You valued their lives over ours." There was a crack in their voice as Chara suddenly fell to their knees. They grabbed fists full of flowers and dirt as they screamed at Asriel. "You didn't even value your own life!"

Asriel stepped closer to Chara before kneeling down on the ground before them. He sat quietly beside Chara as they shook violently. He didn't say anything at first and for a few moments, it looked like he couldn't decide if he wanted to rest a hand on Chara's back or set them in his lap. At some point he just let his hands rest on his knees.

"I don't know what to say for you to understand that's not true," Asriel spoke slowly as Frisk quietly took a seat next to Asriel. He offered Frisk a sad smile before turning back to Chara. "I just didn't want to hurt anyone. In their eyes, it looked like I had done a really bad thing. They were afraid of us, Chara. It wouldn't have been right." There was another moment a silence before Asriel reached out and gently touched Chara's back.

"You told me how others like them treated you." Asriel paused again to collect his thoughts. He stumbled over his words but he didn't want to stop, "I didn't want you to die. A part of me thought that you truly weren't and that you could live forever with me and mom and dad once we became one. I knew mom and dad would be angry, but I know they would have come around eventually." Asriel gently rubbed Chara's back as they curled up upon themselves.

"I didn't want to die. I didn't want us to die. I was scared. It hurt. I just wanted to go home to Mom and Dad." Asriel paused for a moment as Chara breathing slowed as their gasps between sobs quieted. "What happened to you shouldn't have. It took a long time for you to trust us. I broke your trust and I know that I may never earn it back."

"Why?" Chara's voice was hoarse but their sudden question startled Asriel.

"Why?" Asriel leaned back as Chara pushed themselves up. Thier small fists tightly clenched into their palms.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you picking Frisk's side over mine? You dare to sit in front of me and think that if you say the right words that I'll just change my mind? Would we go back to the _'good old days'_ before you showed me your true colors? No...no no no no no!" Chara growled. "We were what the prophecy spoke of, not Frisk! We were supposed to free everyone but you messed everything up! You aren't freeing anyone! You're sending them from one prison to another surrounded by the enemy!"

 _"You're wrong!"_ Asriel and Chara both jumped as Frisk's soul hummed sharply. When their attention focused on them they continued. _"I don't know as much about the prophecy or if I'm what it spoke of but from what I do know its possible that we all played a specific part. Asriel may be in front of us now but the Asriel that you knew isn't here anymore. Flowey has Asriel's memories, but their soul is gone. When the other souls leave, Asriel will no longer exist and all that will remain is Flowey. Its the same for you Chara, your soul is gone. What's left of you is a shadow of memories from when you were alive. You're still here because of our determination. I had the potential to do something great and you showed me from the resets just what that was. I was dumb, I was afraid when I first fell and when I let you take control I was able to see what my action was doing. I saw everyone for who they were and not for what they were. I was the true monster, not them."_ Frisk paused as they stop up and grabbed Chara's hand. They pulled them to their feet and Frisk offered a genuine smile.

 _"It scares me that I'm forgetting pieces of the time that I've been here. When I leave the Underground I don't think I will be able to recall any other timeline now except this one. I still believe that deep within my heart that this is what we were meant to do. You've taught me a lot about myself Chara."_ Frisk paused as they opened their arms out wide. _"We've given everyone a chance to improve their life! What you truly want for them is impossible on our own. We can't protect everyone from the bad ones who just don't care. Everyone has to make an effort to build the future we all want. We can't do it alone. I didn't do this alone! You helped me help everyone and I only want to do the same for you!"_

There was a moment of silence before Chara's soft, muffled sobs echoed from around the ruins. "I didn't do anything! Asriel let us die! He betrayed me!" Chara looked back up at the small goat child, a mix of anger and grief written on their face, "You betrayed me! You said we would be together forever and you wouldn't betray me like everyone else did! You lied to me! You killed us!"

Asriel shook his head and clamped his hands over his mouth. Quiet bleats and sobs escaped as he squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm sorry....I'm so sorry..." Asriel wiped his eyes as his crying grew heavier, "I was so scared Chara. It hurt...and you didn't even care how I felt! I didn't know what to do. I didn't mean to shut you out! I just couldn't do it!" Asriel sat there holding his arms over his eyes as he continued to cry. After a few moments, he collected himself enough to continue speaking but he still didn't remove his arms from his face. "You were my best friend, Chara. We were family. I should have been a better brother and stopped you sooner but I wanted to help everyone just like you. I just couldn't do it Chara. I couldn't hurt them. They were afraid of us." Asriel paused as he breathed in through his snot filled nose and finally removed his arms from his face. He rubbed his nose and looked at Chara through glassy eyes. "We weren't the only ones that did things the wrong way, what Dad did was unforgivable too. The human souls inside me were innocent and didn't deserve to be trapped here. They shouldn't have been made to be used as tools in this. No side is completely innocent or without faults. We've given everyone the chance to change their own lives. The chance to improve. We shouldn't take it away. Let this be the final reset. Let's let them control their own destiny."

"Control? Do you want to give them control over their lives? Their deaths? It's funny how you can say that to me after you took that control away from me Asriel!" Chara screamed as form slowly started to glitch and deteriorate. "I was in control of my own life until you took that away from me! **YOU'RE A HYPOCRITE!** "

You couldn't sit by any longer. You didn't know what you could do, but it felt like Chara was going to disappear. What Chara had said resonated with you. You felt their fear, the angry as Asriel shut them out and the two of them died in front of Asgore and Toriel. The helpless feeling of not being able to do anything as you watched, no, felt yourself die was terrifying. Chara still carried that emotional scar this entire time. It reminded you of your own emotional scars.

Life wasn't fair.

It never was.

You didn't even realize the moment you fell to your knees. You instinctively wrapped your arm around Chara and pulled them into a tight embrace, cradling them in your arm.

"It wasn't fair. Your life was stolen from you but you can't blame others! Neither of you went out there expecting to come home without your lives. Asriel didn't want anyone to die that day. They didn't want to die, they didn't want you to die. Fear is a terrible thing. It can make you do things you would normally never have done. It can make you do stupid things. When you and Asriel were one you could feel each other's fear. You fed off each other's fear and it only made it worse. When you were sharing my soul in my body it was the same. I struggled against all the emotions you harbored. Asriel shut you out in fear but you couldn't do the same. You were trapped inside a foreign body. It wasn't fair, it's not fair. You were scared too." Frisk and Asriel were silent as you spoke. You still didn't know if Frisk could see you or not but you knew Asriel could. He rubbed his eyes and nose as he began to settle down.

You wanted to smile, reassure him that everything would be okay, but you couldn't. You were, after all, still partially living in the past. You still struggled with your self-confidence, struggled to reach out to ask for help. All of this due to an accident that you didn't have control over. You didn't have control over everything. You knew exactly what Asriel was talking about, however. How many times have everyone's lives been played with? How many times did they have to die or begin to lead a happy new life just to have it ripped away without them being any the wiser? These resets weren't even a reality to most. You let out a soft sigh and gently squeezed Chara tighter against you.

"Life is full of good times and bad. We can't control everything, especially the actions of others. Accidents happen, people hurt us. Sometimes we put ourselves in harms ways and get hurt protecting those we care about most. We never asked for this pain. We never wished to be hurt or to have been left with these scars physically and emotionally." You paused and gently pulled away from Chara, careful not to jostle them too much. "I've only seen a peek into your past. I don't know everything that has happened to you but it seems that a lot of terrible things had happened to you before that has led you to close yourself off from others. Despite that, you wanted to help everyone here. I could feel that much." You paused as Chara shifted against your arm. You let them go but let your hand rest on their back. "You put yourself through a terrible thing because you thought it would help them. Even now, you are still trying to help them in your own way. Death isn't an answer, death shouldn't be an answer. Please listen to Frisk. You gave Frisk the chance to help everyone. "

"You don't even understand what you're talking about..." Chara snapped quickly.

You were taken aback for a second but you nodded. "You're right, I don't fully understand. I know it has to do with your ability to reset though." To be honest with yourself, the divergence in time was just something you couldn't wrap your head around. It was terrifying to think that children possed the power to change it without anyone knowing. You were still wrapping your head around the space between time and how a place like that could even exist. You pushed those thoughts away as you turned your focus back towards Chara. Frisk had approached you and Chara but they stood silently staring through you towards Asriel.

"What will happen to me?" Chara spoke softly.

Asriel shuffled forwards and gently tapped your knee to get your attention. When you glanced over he leaned in and whispered softly, "I think everything will be okay. Before the other souls leave I'll call you back to return the piece of your soul that Chara has borrowed.

You didn't understand what Asriel had said before it felt like the world fell out from below you. You didn't have time to let out a yell before you felt yourself collide with a rough surface.

You sat in shock as you through your hand out in front of you to catch yourself. You felt your nails scrape against the floor. You sat quietly for a moment as you felt your heart pump in your chest. Your surroundings were dark, and your eyes were slowly adjusting to the little light there was in whatever place you were. You let go of the breath you didn't even realize you were holding and gasped for air.

You had a thousand questions running through your mind. Where? When? How? You sat quietly, listening to your surroundings to try and figure out where you may be. You let out a frustrated sigh but jumped as you heard a loud sudden noise. You jumped and let out a startled squeak as your eyes adjusted enough to see a table and set of chairs in front of you.

You didn't move as you squinted your eyes to try and pinpoint the sound. One of the chairs was misaligned and you figured the sound you heard was probably the chair. You relaxed your shoulder as you steadied your hand in front of you to push yourself to your feet. As you leaned forward you froze. A pair of bright yellow eyes shown brightly up at you. You froze for a second, but you realized the eyes that stared up at you were nothing to be afraid of. In fact, they cautiously moved closer to you and you were finally able to make out what they belonged to.

"Peaches?"

You couldn't believe it at first, but this was your small calico kitten. She stared up at you with her amber eyes and let out a soft mew before turning around and darting off somewhere else. You heard her bump into something else before her nails clicked across the floor before gaining traction.

You didn't know how or understand why, but you were back in your childhood home before the fire. All the questions from before left as a new one came to mind. Why were you here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been close to three months...sorry about that.
> 
> This chapter was difficult to write but we're finally pushing forward and I'm getting it back on track.
> 
> I've been using a new writing program, Nimble Writer. I haven't really played around with a lot of the features but it should help to make writing easier for me in the future. 
> 
> I'm sorry if part of the pacing seems rushed for this chapter. I'm trying to move things along faster to get back to the reader/sans part of this story. This arch took a lot more writing then what I thought it would have and I just need to tie up one more part before we get there.
> 
> I hope everyone is having a good New Years and I hope everyone has a good valentine's day. I'm going to wrap myself up in a blanket and each chocolate. 
> 
> Shameless Tumblr plug for updates, questions, or just plain want to talk.
> 
> kioribug.tumblr.com/
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading and commenting. It still does mean a lot. I'll see you all again with the next update.


	50. Resolve

You felt a heaviness in your heart as your stomach did a flip. You clutched your side and took a deep breath. You didn't want to be here. You were alone, no other thoughts or feelings but your own. You shut your eyes tightly and took in slow breaths. You let go of your side and reached out in front of you, praying that this was just the thread of time you witnessed earlier. You pleaded to go back to the space between time.

You felt something cold bump into the palm of your hand and you quickly opened your eye to see what it was. You were relieved when you saw the familiar floating skull, the blaster, hovering before you. It pressed against your hand once more and you gently returned its gesture with a gentle rub to the flat part of its nose.

You were comforted by the fact you were not stuck but as soon as you realized your relief you felt a pull on your soul. You turned around to see what could be doing it but no one was there. You knew time doesn't pass here but you still couldn't help but feel that it wasn't Asriel. You felt the blaster brush past your arm and nudge your side as if to help direct your attention.

Behind you was a single shattered thread. You didn't need to question which it was, it was yours. You knew it was yours. It was possible that when you were removed from the thread with Chara that you were supposed to return here but your shattered thread drew you in instead. The pain in your soul flared up again and you felt another strong pull, urging you to return to the thread.

"Nothing was there..." You whispered softly as you wrapped your arm around the blaster's skull as it helped you to your feet. You smiled and listened to it purr. You didn't know how to describe the sound but it was comforting none the less. "I'm okay..." You spoke quietly and returned your gaze back to the thread.

The pain at your core throbbed and you felt yourself pulling gently from two other directions. You turned and saw the thread you had just left. You could just barely make out Frisk and Asriel sitting with Chara and you saw another thread that stood out oddly from the rest. You were confused and you bit your lower lip as you tried to make sense of it all. Why these threads? What did this mean?

You felt the blaster nudge your side. You felt a dull pain press into your hip and realized something was stashed away in your pocket. You released the skull and dug your hand into fish out a small black fragment. This was the final piece of Gaster's soul that you still held onto. The blaster gently nudged your hand and everything suddenly clicked.

Your soul...your soul was drawn to the fragments. You thought Asriel took your soul to lend to Chara. You were still you though. You still your soul at your core, even if it wasn't there physically. You groaned as your head spun. This was way too complicated to think of. Pushing that aside you approached the third thread and caught a glimpse of someone that made your heart ache. It was Sans, sitting in the dawn's morning light. This was an earlier point in time for the thread that Chara was in. You knew that you watched them quietly before following after Papyrus and Frisk.

You knew Sans held a fragment of your soul and you knew that you were being drawn to it. You wanted to see him. You held your hand out towards the thread but you found yourself hesitant. You couldn't bear to touch the thread. If you went and you took the piece of your soul back would you no longer be able to speak to Sans?

No...Gaster was able to return to his timeline. He is alive and maybe not in the best of health. Gaster didn't come out unscathed from the accident in the lab. If Gaster could return, you surely could, right? You were different though. Gaster was removed from time while you still existed. Resets didn't affect you. It's not like that really mattered though. You didn't even notice the passing of time when you would stay in the hospital.

The uncertainty of everything scared you the most. You withdrew your hand and wrapped your arm around your chest and gripped the bump where your shoulder would have been. You held yourself and tightly shut your eyes. How did Gaster do this? He was here for as long as you've been alive. The space between time did not experience the passing of time. Everything happened in an instant, took forever, haven't passed, and has already passed. It was maddening. How long have you truly been here? Seconds? Weeks? Years? It all depended on the thread you decided to view. Everything could just end.

You didn't jump at the gentle nudge of the blaster. You let a smile tug at the corner of your lips and you turned to lean against it.

"It's scary, you know? Everything could be over in a moment. It's terrifying." You took a look around and couldn't help but chuckle. "They say when you're faced with death that your life flashes before your eyes. Well, right now there are thousands of lives here. There are too many for me to see clearly. So many happy stories, tragedies, missed chances and risks all in this infinite space. All I ever wanted to do was stay out of people's way and keep my head down. I wanted to illustrate children's books, even write my own one day. I kept to myself and told myself I didn't need anyone else in my life for so long."

You couldn't help but smile and you felt your breath catch in your throat. It wasn't long until you felt warm tears run down your cheeks. You couldn't help but laugh as you continued to speak. "I just lived day to day. I would never have realized how sad I was until I met that dork at my pharmacy." You couldn't help but laugh as you recalled how such a strange meeting changed your life. "I met Frisk, who is a mischievous wonderfully brave kid. I met Papyrus who acts like a monther hen. He would annoy me at times when he insisted on doing things for me, but he never did it to upset me intentionally. He does that with everyone. He's really smart, and he cares for his family and friends so much. Through them, I met Alphys and Undyne. We sat on my bed and chatted all night about random things and I just felt so comfortable around them. They made me feel comfortable in my own skin. Even when I was against the idea of wearing a dress to the new year's party and felt that I wouldn't look pretty because of my scars, Undyne turned the ugliest part of me into something cool. She gave me the confidence and for the first time I looked at my scars, I mean truly looked at them and thought how cool it was that I was still here. She was so cool..." You paused as you took in a deep breath and choked as you reached up to rub your runny nose.

"Undyne was intimidating at first, I made a fool of myself when we went to Grillby's. I knew I shouldn't have drunk. I wanted to impress them, but I know now I didn't have to. I chose to do something dumb and it led to another stay in the hospital. Because of that Sans and I became closer. He saw the real me, understood how much pain and how terrifying that fire caused. I understand how intimate something like this is now, and I know I was upset at first but it's silly. I was so mad about it when I was truly happy before." You smiled and gently rubbed your good eye so that you could look up at view the thread Sans was currently in. "He never gave up on me when I tried to push him away. I love him...I love him so much it hurts to think how life would be without him in it. I want to be better, do better. I've broken so many promises and still try to do everything alone."

You wanted more days with him. You wanted to hold his hand, which was surprisingly soft. You wanted him to wrap him around you and cradle you to sleep like he did before. You wanted more movie nights on the couch, his teasing of by trapping you against the couch cushions and himself. You wanted to text him and take more secret pictures for your phone, or even text each other terrible puns about pizza or art. They were selfish thoughts but was that so wrong? You didn't want this to end.

You wouldn't.

You felt a stronger pull from a thread behind you and didn't have time to brace yourself before you felt a coolness below your feet. The blaster that you had been leaning on was gone and you tripped over your feet as you tried to catch your balance. A couple pair of hands caught you and eased you to sit on the ground.

"I'm sorry! I didn't know how I could warn you!" You heard Asriel's voice at your side as you realized where you were.

"Asriel?" You wiped your cheek and nose once more as you glanced around and realized you were back in the ruins again.

"Are you okay? I didn't hurt you did I? I'm just borrowing this power and don't fully understand everything it does..." Asriel spoke quickly.

It took you a moment to realize what Asriel was talking about. Your face must be puffy from crying and you are sure you probably look ridiculous. You shook your head and smiled.

"I'm okay. You don't need to worry about it." You offered Asriel a gentle smile to reassure him. You felt like you just left but you knew that a lot more time had passed. Frisk was no longer in sight and you were surprised to see Chara standing quietly at your other side. Their face was red and puffy like yours but you could see them clearly. The scowl was gone. They looked tired and their demeanor almost seemed softer.

Chara eyed you as they folded their arms across their chest. Their eyes drifted away to stare at something else. You turned your attention back to Asriel and pushed yourself to your feet.

"Where is Frisk?" You glanced around again just in case you may have missed them earlier.

"They needed to head back and meet with everyone else. I still don't want Mom and Dad to see me." The smile appeared and disappeared quickly as Asriel looked down to his feet. "It's better this way."

You recalled what Asriel had said earlier. When the souls of the humans leave then the child before you would be gone as well. All that would be left is Flowey. You still couldn't believe that the flower that attacked you and this child was the same. You couldn't blame him for wanting to keep Flowey's identity a secret.

"What will happen to...?" You spoke before you realized it. Asriel smiled once again and shook his head.

"I'll be okay. I'll remain here and look after the flowers. This place is very special to us." Asriel motioned to Chara who nodded but didn't return eye contact. Asriel smiled sadly but took a few steps towards Chara. "I guess we shouldn't keep you waiting..."

Chara looked up as Asriel spoke and took a step back.

"Could I speak to her before I..." Chara's words trailed off as they bit their lower lip. Asriel tilted their head to the side slightly before turning to glance over at you

Asriel nodded as he waved at you before leaving you and Chara alone. Chara stood silently off to your side as they waited until Asriel was a good distance away before speaking.

"Don't think this is where I am going to say thank you and proceed to follow that up with telling you that you were right, 'cause it's not." Chara didn't move but their arms folded tighter across their chest as they pointedly turned their back towards you.

You smiled and almost chuckled but you knew you shouldn't.

"Also...I'm not stupid. I hate crybabies." Chara chose that moment to turn and glare at you. "You're left alone for who knows how long and you go right to wallowing in self-pity? You're pathetic."

"How did-" You were cut off as Chara's arm fell from their chest to rest at their sides. They tightly clenched their fists as they stood upon their tip-toes to yell at you.

"You're an idiot! Did you honestly forget I have a part of you right now? A piece of it or it in its entirety is still your soul! It doesn't make a difference! You're not like me or like the monsters here. You didn't have a strong connection with your soul or its magic until recently. Humans lost their ability to use magic, in general, a long time ago. I couldn't use magic until after I had died. If I could reset before we wouldn't even be having this conversation. Asriel used my determination when he was a Flower and when Frisk fell here I became conscious again. With my determination combined with Frisk's, they could use my magic as well as use their own. Gaster used his magic to help connect you with your soul. You became more aware of it in general." Chara glared up at you as they bit their lower lip. They rocked back onto their heels but they never dropped their gaze.

"You already know that your soul is wanting to become whole again. Asriel with the other human souls helps to pull your soul back here again. There is a piece of your soul in that place you don't like going to. The thread or whatever you called it. I don't know what is going to happen when you collect all of your soul's pieces but you may end up returning to this time like you did for Gaster." Chara noticed that Asriel was watching from a distance and gently tugging on their ears nervously. "You still have a piece of his soul...go see him for yourself. You have the ability to talk to those in these timelines. Get your soul fragments back." Chara noticed your resistance to that comment and they sighed loudly in annoyance. "Don't be such a baby!"

"But I died!" You said harshly. You clasped your hand over your mouth and shook your head. You didn't mean to snap but you knew you spoke partially from the fear of that realization.

"You died...yet you're alive. Wasn't that your thing? Wasn't that what upset Gaster so much? You're still wasting that gift." Chara leaned up and you felt them flick your forehead. It didn't hurt but you couldn't help but gently rub the spot. "If you want to just live forever in that sad place then be my guest. No one can stop you. If you want something to change you have to do make the effort to change it yourself. No one is going to change it for you." Chara paused but a scowl quickly formed on their face, "Before you even think it...RESETS are not the same thing."

Asriel took a step forward towards the two of you and you had a feeling what that could mean. Chara didn't turn to look but with the soft steps from Asriel's feet across the loose rocks and tall grass combined with the expression you were wearing on your face made it clear to them what was happening.

"Times up..." Chara spoke softly before turning back to meet Asriel halfway. The two stopped and Asriel spoke too quietly for you to hear. Asriel wrapped their arms around Chara and hugged them tightly. Chara was hesitant but they eventually wrapped their arms around Asriel. There came a flash of light and suddenly they were gone. Chara was gone.

You felt what you could only explain as a weight off of your shoulders. The heavy emotions that once belonged to Chara were gone. You felt a clarity and for the first time in a while, you felt at ease. The only thing that bothered you now was that you couldn't see what happened to Chara. Asriel must have picked up on it as he turned to face you. He smiled and spoke loud enough for you to hear him.

"Chara's soul had already departed a long time ago. All that was left was a shadow of themselves filled with their determination. Like Chara, I won't be here much longer. The human souls are growing restless and want to be free again." Asriel raised his hands and smiled as your violet soul shimmered in his hands. "This belongs to you. Thank you for letting me lend it to Chara." Asriel laughed nervously as you reached towards your soul.

It was a warm feeling. It was like finding something that had been lost. Your fragmented soul returned to you at last but it cut deeply into you as you still didn't feel complete. You held your chest in pain as you clenched your teeth. Chara's determination had kept your soul from shattering but with them gone now, you felt your time running out. Asriel rushed to your side but you couldn't be bothered to look at them. You felt like you were splitting apart. It wasn't until the pain slowly ebb away did you notice the gentle green and warm glow. You looked up to see Asriel performing a similar magic as Toriel. When the pain was only a dull ache did Asriel stop and took a step back away from you.

"Chara told me that this would be painful for you. This is all I can do for you. Chara told me, before I called to you, that the place that you as stuck in doesn't follow the laws of time the same way as it does here. I don't understand it, but the longer you remain here in this timeline the faster your soul will continue to shatter. If it shatters completely I believe you will no longer cease to be..." Asriel paused for a moment. "I do not know what exactly it will mean. You may end up like those soulless monsters that show up every once in a while." You didn't want to become a lifeless shell. You didn't want to exist in the same state as the others. Asriel must have noticed your expression and hugged you tightly once he mended your soul. "I'm sure you will be able to return to this timeline. You helped Gaster, right?"

You weren't sure if Asriel knew who Gaster was but it didn't matter. You weren't even sure if Gaster could remember his time stuck in between time. He did look at you but you weren't sure if that was just a coincidence or not. You needed to see Gaster one more time. You needed the hope that maybe there was a chance for you to remember.

"I did..." You paused as you gently returned Asriel's hug. "Thank you. I am happy that I was given the chance to meet you."

Asriel nodded and pulled away. "Thank you for what you have done for Chara. Thank you for helping to end this cycle and allowing everyone to finally have the happy ending they deserve. I know that times will be difficult but I believe in them. I believe in their bright future. I know that you will be able to return to this time and create your own happy ending."

"What about you? What are you going to do once the human souls are gone?" You pushed yourself up to stand on your own two feet. You felt the dull pain in your soul and knew that you were now on a very short time limit.

Asriel only chuckled and help out his hands to motion around him, "Someone has to look after these flowers. Please don't worry about me, I'll be okay." The smile that Asriel had been wearing faltered as his eyes drifted to the floor. "I know that Flowey has done a lot of bad things and he has hurt you in the past, but please don't hold it against him. He isn't like you and me. He is unable to love or understand it. What he did to you...it wasn't personal."

"I won't take it personal Asriel." You couldn't help but smile. You knew Asriel felt guilty. Asriel didn't have control over Flowey, over that part of himself. He didn't have a soul and he was only able to exist as he can now only due to the human souls' help.

Asriel perked up and gently waved, "Take care! You have people waiting for you! You shouldn't keep them waiting."

You waved at him in return as you closed your eyes and took a step backward. Immediately you heard the ringing silence of the space between time. The scent of the ruins left you as you felt a smooth muzzle bump up against you. You opened your eyes and looked down at the blaster that happily greeted you.

"I'm okay." You spoke quietly as you gently rubbed the flat side of its nose. It pushed against your hand and happily whined. "Thank you for checking on me, but do you know which thread your master is currently in?"

As soon as the words left your mouth the blaster took off and floated over to a thread that appeared earlier in the same timeline. You gently rubbed it's snout again as it made a noise you couldn't recognize. "Thank you for everything. This may be the last time that I will get to see you like this." The blaster whined as it gently bumped up against your side. You couldn't help but chuckle, "I need to go home. We'll see each other again. I'm sure of it." This seemed to be enough for the blaster to agree to let you go. It whined but in a way, it seemed to understand. You whispered your thanks as you took a step through the thread into a familiar hospital room.

“SANS! WHY HAVE YOU NOT BEEN ANSWERING MY CALLS? I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU FOR AGES!”

You jumped at Papyrus' loud voice as he yelled into his phone next to you. You took a few steps away and walked towards the far side of the room near the bed where Gaster was sitting up. His eyes followed you and you offered a gentle smile.

"C-c-c-c..." Gaster tired to speak, but he was having difficulty. Papyrus seemed to notice and turned around to face Gaster and he nodded. Gaster looked back towards Papyrus as he covered the phone to speak.

"Yes, yes I was finally able to get ahold of him." Papyrus returned his attention back to the phone and turned his back towards them again. "Sans, I know you don't like it but..." Papyrus paused as he turned around to glance at Gaster and smile. "I'm at the hospital in New Home. Can you come? I...we...need you here." There was a moment of silence before Papyrus pulled the phone away from his head and snapped it shut. "He's on his way. I guess I should begin catching you up on everything you have missed."

Papyrus strolled over to the edge of the bed and began to speak and tell Gaster of how he became a Royal Guard and how the barrier was broke and how he got to see the sun for the first time.

Gaster glanced back and forth between you and Papyrus. If Papyrus noticed Gaster's strange span of attention he didn't appear to show it. He just continued on. You smiled and scooted closer to the bedside to speak with Gaster.

"You can see me, right?" You spoke softly but loud enough for Gaster to hear you over Papyrus.

Gaster froze, his mouth left agape as he looked back up to Papyrus before focusing back on you. His mouth opened and closed multiple times but you took that as a yes.

"You're back." You wanted to reach down and grab his hand but you couldn't. You physically couldn't touch him, or the bed. Speaking to him and having him just see you were as much as you could ask for at this time.

"Where is Sans?" Papyrus paused as he looked up towards the door. He was frustrated, but there was also a hint of concern as he looked back to Gaster. “I am sure that he will be here soon. I’m sorry that I must inform you, but he has become quite lazy since the…” Papyrus trailed off as his voice lowered. “That does not matter, all that matters is that you have finally returned to us.”

Gaster looked back up to Papyrus and with as much strength as he could muster he spoke. His voice didn't carry well and there was more air than actual sounds, but he was determined to say something. "Do...you...see me?"

You smiled and looked back up to Papyrus who at first didn't know how to react. He was happy that Gaster finally uttered words but at the same time, Papyrus wasn't sure that he should have. Gaster sounded horrible and you couldn't help but feel uneasy at this. You jumped as you caught a glimpse of someone rushing through the door. You realized quickly that it was Sans but he didn't look too happy to be here. In fact, he was frozen in place staring directly at Gaster.

"You should not be speaking! I will go get you some water in a-" Papyrus must have noticed Sans to as his attention swiftly changed to him, "Oh...Sans, I didn't see you there." Papyrus smiled to Gaster before taking a few steps away from the side of the bed. "Allow me to fetch you some water." Papyrus stopped when he came to Sans and whispered something you couldn't quite make out. Sans didn't really move but glance up to Papyrus before Papyrus left the room.

You stood up and looked at Sans and Gaster. The silence bothered you and you already knew that Sans could remember everything before the reset. You knew that Sans wasn't fond of Gaster and you weren't sure exactly what he could remember now that Gaster was here. You took a step back away from Sans and closer to the wall behind you. You had never seen Sans this angry before, not even when the two of you fought before.

"How? Why are *you *here?" Sans spoke through gritted teeth. You glanced back to Gaster but he didn't look phased, no, it was almost like he expected this in a way. He moved his mouth once but shut it slowly. He glanced down at the blanket to where his hands rested and only looked back up once Papyrus returned.

Papyrus seemed to notice Sans glaring daggers at Gaster and gently patted Sans' shoulder before continuing on towards Gaster's bedside. Papyrus leaned down and wrapped his right arm around Gaster's back to gently support him as he helped Gaster sip the water.

"Please do not strain yourself, brother. There is plenty of time for you to recover and see everything that has changed." Papyrus smiled and took the glass away to sit on the stand next to the bed before gently guiding Gaster to lean back against the bed. "When you've regained your strength we can talk about whatever you want. The doctors said that you may-"

Gaster parted his mouth and forced himself to speak once again, "Pa...py...rus?"

"Yes!" Papyrus lit up as Gaster spoke his name before turning around to Sans. The excitement that filled his eyes as he stood up straight and puffed out his chest.

"Oh! I had almost forgotten! The greatest and most popular Royal Guard you see standing before you was once the smallest baby bones in our family! It is I, the Great Papyrus!" Papyrus didn't waste any time as he quickly strolled passed you and took his place behind Sans. He placed both his gloved hands on Sans' shoulders and gently shook Sans back and forth to bring attention to him. "You probably have already figured out who this is! He has changed the least between the two of us I will say. Though, without your guidance, I am afraid to admit that he has become a rather lazy monster!"

Gaster glanced at you and Sans before he spoke softly, "Sans?"

You followed Papyrus and stood closer. You weren't going to be afraid. Sans wasn't a murderer. If you could you'd want to try and explain everything to him if you could. You noticed Gaster follow you as you took your place beside Sans and you couldn't help but see the lights in his eyes brighten at this.

"Yes! You are doing splendidly brother!" Papyrus quickly returned to Gaster's bedside and took one of Gaster's hands into his own. "In no time you will be able to recognize everyone!"

Sans didn't show any signs of doing anything besides the soft chuckle he made as Papyrus spoke. You could always count on Papyrus to cut through most tension and you felt confident enough that it would be okay to return to Gaster's side. If he could see you, he could probably hear you. You felt the pain in your soul ache and you knew you needed to hurry. You needed to talk to Sans.

"I need your help, Gaster." You spoke quietly but quickly. Gaster's gaze fell upon you and you watched as Gaster's mouth open and shut as weezy breaths escaped him. Papyrus reacted immediately. He gently squeezed Gaster's hand which drew Gaster's attention back to him once again.

"Do try not to overwork yourself! You need plenty of rest to regain your strength! I know that you love to work, and I may add that I completely understand, unlike our lazy brother here," Papyrus smiled as he looked towards Sans before returning back to Gaster.

You couldn't help but chuckle and you weren't surprised to hear Sans echo you as well. If only Papyrus truly knew what Sans did when Papyrus wasn't around. Sans' chuckle quieted down as you saw him clench his teeth. He fidgeted slightly and you could tell he was doing his best to keep his cool. You felt another pain in your chest and you knew you needed to hurry. You turned once more to Gaster and leaned close to make sure that he could hear you.

"Gaster, I'm begging you. I need you to help me..." You heard your voice quiver and shortly after felt the hot tears well up in your eye before you forcefully rubbed it. "I don't have much time. I don't want to die here." Gaster watched you before glancing around at both Sans and Papyrus. When he didn't respond you grasped your shirt just over where your soul was. "I helped you come home! You didn't fall into the CORE! Please!"

Violet tears fell from Gaster's eyes as he looked down to his hands. Papyrus noticed quickly and fetched a cloth to help clean off Gaster's face just as quickly as new tears formed.

"Is everything okay?" Papyrus spoke quietly as he turned towards Sans with a confused but worried expression.

"I'm...here...?" Gaster hoarsely choked out.

You couldn't help but choke back a snob. Gaster couldn't speak well, what could he say to relay to Sans. How would he know it was you? You needed him to go to the Echo Flowers.

“Yes! I know that this may be difficult but you have returned to us! You have finally woken up!” Papyrus took Gaster's hand and gently squeezed it get Gaster's attention once again. Gaster looked between him and Sans once more before turning back to you.

You saw Sans watching Gaster and for a moment you could have sworn Sans was looking at you. You moved to test it but Sans didn't react. He only returned his gaze to Gaster.

Gaster spoke slowly as he still looked at you, "I'm...alive...?" Gaster lost his focus on you as he looked back up to Papyrus before returning to you. You nodded as Papyrus spoke.

"Yes!" Papyrus nodded as his smile widened. "You are alive and everything will be alright!"

It was a miracle. You gasped as you recalled something Toriel had told you about human magic. Miracles. You told Sans to believe in your miracle.

"Gaster! Tell them that the flowers speak my miracles!" You pleaded with Gaster as his eyes unfocused from you once again. He closed his eyes and you felt your heart drop. Did you lose your chance? You could always restart this thread again-

You heard Gaster's breath hitch as he tried to hold back his own tears. His mouth twitched and you felt his magic as he spoke.

Thank you for leading me home...

Gaster looked up and opened his eyes to glance at Papyrus before turning to Sans and forcing himself to speak.

"The flowers...speak with miracles..."

You turned your attention to Sans who took a step back away from Gaster. The anger he had been carrying had vanished as you could tell he was taking a moment to register what Gaster had just said. There was just a moment before his eye glowed with the mix of cyan and yellow before he cut a door and leaped through.

"Sans!" Papyrus had called after him but it was too late. The fabrics of time mended itself as if Sans hadn't just ripped it open. Papyrus stood stunned as he looked back to Gaster. Gaster smiled but he squeezed his eyes tightly shut as he quietly sobbed. Papyrus gently rubbed his back and sat next to Gaster. "Do not worry, brother. It is just a difficult time for everyone. I'm sure Sans will open up to you once again."

"Thank you." You spoke softly as you wiped the remaining tears from your cheek and closed your eye. You didn't wait to let Gaster respond as you felt another painful throb from your soul.

The familiar silence of the space between time didn't comfort you as you stood quietly. You felt another sharp pain and gasped as you searched for the thread with the peice of your soul. You felt its familiar pull and it wasn't long before you felt the humid air as well as heard the comforting sound of water gently flowing along a distant stream.

You opened your eye to see the familiar dark soil and luminescent foliage. You felt your heart flutter as you recalled the last time you were here. When your soul had started to shatter and Sans picked up a piece of your fragmented soul. All around you grew the Echo Flowers that spoke in hushed voices from those who spilled their hearts to their friends, lovers, to no one at all. They spoke to the flowers that echoed their heart's wishes. A thousand voices. A thousand wishes. The pain at your core dulled at that moment as you felt calm for the first time in a while. The calm was shattered by the frantic shuffling of feet some distance behind you. You turned around and with a smile, you saw him.

You would make it home...

You were going to return to him...

As Sans turned away you reached out and made your wish. He shoved his hand into his pocket and pulled out the familiar fragment of your soul. Trash spilled from his pockets and you couldn't help but smile as you gently caught his hand. The Echo Flowers stopped their hushed whispers and all that surrounded you was the crackling static. This was your shattered soul reaching out desperately to him. You took a step forward and caught his hand in yours. At first, it felt cold but soon the warmth of his hand gently squeezing yours drowned it out. He laughed softly as he turned to look up at you. His smile was genuine and he carefully looked you over. He let out a sigh and took a step closer towards you.

"You've kept me waiting." His words were gentle but they were full of the warmth you desperately needed.

You couldn't speak, you only nodded as he pulled you closer and wrapped his other arm around you.

You felt his warmth and you found yourself leaning into his touch before long. You felt safe. You knew everything was going to be alright. You felt hope, his hope, and it was comforting.

"I'm sorry I'm keeping you waiting..." You trailed off as you squeezed his hand tighter in yours. Sans didn't respond at first but the static around you grew louder.

"When are you coming back?" Sans' voice betrayed the warm smile he had showed you just moments ago. You tried to pull away but he only pulled you tighter to him. "He's back. That means you can too." There was a pause as he buried his face in your shoulder. His hand squeezed yours tighter with each word and you wished for a moment that you could only wrap your arm around him to let him know it would be okay. "Why him? Why couldn't it have been you?"

Your heart broke as you heard the sadness in his voice. All you could do was shake your head and desperatly try to pull away. You cursed how strong Sans was but eventually, he let you pull away. He didn't raise his face up to meet yours but you wanted to make sure he heard you. You leaned forward and gently pressed your lips to his forehead. You couldn't make an empty promise to him. You couldn't tell when you would return to this timeline. If Gaster returned at the moment he left that would mean that you would return around the time of your accident. You wouldn't be standing here with Sans at this moment. Would you still be living in the house the three of you had lived in before? What about Gaster? Your small house wouldn't be able to house all of them. Would you ever meet again? You couldn't think about that. Sans remembers you. He's here with you now.

"Everything I thought I knew is changing. Frisk is forgetting everything from before. Papyrus acts as if nothing is out of place. He, Gaster, was thrust into our lives and I'm the only who even notices. It feels like I'm going crazy and everything up until now was all just a dream. Everything I knew before was just data on a sheet. Recorded instances of what we conceived as time starting and stopping but never actually being able to possibly see it happened for ourselves. It was all just an observation. The control we thought we once had, shattered." Sans finally tilted his head to meet your gaze. He pressed his forehead against yours before leaning his mouth against yours. You felt the familiar warm tingle of his magic and you found yourself closing your eyes and leaning into his kiss. Sans pulled away and he mumbled something that wasn't meant with any malice, "You've turned my entire world upside down." You weren't entirely sure why, but you found yourself speaking before you could even register everything he said.

"I never thought I would find myself surrounded by people who truly cared about me. I've pushed so many people away and kept myself at arm's length thinking that was the best way to avoid getting hurt. I wanted to keep to myself and I thought that was how it was supposed to be. I met you by chance and you never left me alone after that. By some coincidence, you found my ad and shortly after that you moved in and I found myself surrounded by your friends and family. Even then I tried to keep my distance, hide away but you refused. You shattered my walls, you sat outside in the cold and snow and refused to walk away. You were the first person to take the time to see the real me. Flaws and all. It was because of you that I want to be a better person. I want to be the person I've always could have been. I want to help others like you've helped me. You've turned my world upside down an-" You couldn't finish before Sans pressed his mouth against yours one more time. Your heart fluttered and you melted against him.

Everything would be worth it to start again. If you had to start over you wanted to do it with him. You weren't sure when, or who it was that started first, but the sound of your laugher mixed with his echoed all around you. You both only stopped laughing to catch your breath. You leaned against him as you both gasped for air between shorter fits of giggles. The two of you must have realized how absurd each other's lives were.

You missed the gentle tingle of the magic on your lips. It was warm and it reminded you of the first time you experienced this. The warmth of his magic had caressed your hand and the cold wind gave you goosebump. You recalled the little moments, the time he trapped you on Toriel's couch, the night the two of you sat on the couch, another time when you were sick. You would cherish all of these memories for as long as you could. You only hoped he would as well.

As he pulled away from the smile that you didn't even realize you had fallen as the pain in your soul throbbed painfully once again. Sans noticed your distress and helped you sit on the damp earth below you.

"What's wrong?" His voice was slightly paniced as he knelt beside you and shifted you to lean against him.

The pain subsided and you took a deep breath of relief and just let yourself lean into him. You didn't want to tell him but you knew you would have to. You gently guided his and your hand towards your chest and pressed them lightly just under your collarbone. At first Sans hesitated but he released your hand. He waited for a second, relieved you didn't disappear like last time and called to your soul. You felt him pull at your core and his sudden sharp inhale of breath caused him to tightly clench his hand around your shoulder. You didn't need to ask, you knew it was related to your soul. The piece of your soul that he held in his hand dimly glowed as he held it up to your cracked soul.

"What's happening to you?" Sans voice was hoarse as he pulled you closer to him and cradled your soul in his other hand. With your hand, you reached up to catch the hand cradling your soul. He turned his hand to meet yours and your fingers naturally laced with each other. Your thumb gently caressed his the side of his. You were at a loss for words at first but you bit your lip gently before forcing yourself to speak.

"I wasn't supposed to be here, Sans." You struggled to find the words and choked back the air in your throat.

"What do you mean?" Sans squeezed your hand in his as his eyes never left your soul.

"I don't know how to explain it well Sans. You remember before the last reset, right?" You waited until Sans nodded slowly before finally tearing his eyes away from your soul to look down at you. "You know of the accident at the CORE right? Well..." You fumbled on your words before you found your thoughts again. "That accident fractured the timeline. A new time line was created but with Gaster removed. It was as if he didn't exist. His creations remained, his family, his research, all of it remained. All of it was-"

"Wait wait! Fractured? I don't understand what you're talking about." Sans furrowed his brow as his eyes shifted while he tried to recall anything that he may have learned to explain this.

"You haven't seen it. I don't remember what I told you but where I am not time doesn't exist. It just is. Everyone's lives are recorded in what Gaster called threads of time. When someone's life ends their personal thread breaks. When Gaster fell into the CORE, his time ended, but he was still alive. His soul shattered and we found the pieces and we somehow fixed it." You paused and couldn't help but laugh. "Sounds rediculous the way I put it."

The corner's a Sans mouth tugged upward slightly before falling. "Almost as rediculous as a child being able to reset time in the first place." You smiled and nodded but both of your smiles left as the turn of the mood darkened. "What's this got to do with you not being here? If you fixed the...thread," Sans paused as he tried to grasp everything that you were saying, "then when you fell into the CORE didn't happen."

You nodded and looked away from him towards your dull shattering soul. "That's not when my time ended, Sans."

Sans swallowed heard as his hand tightly squeezed yours. "I don't understand."

You mouth was dry as you tried to force the words. You parted your lips to try and speak multiple times before pulling your hand away and brought it towards your forhead to push your hair out of your face. Sans hand followed as his hand cupped your chin and his thumb gently caressed your cheek. "Sans, my time ended before you and I even met. It was over a decade ago when-"

"The fire? That can't be." Sans interrupted you. He looked over your face. He looked over the scars on your face, the glass eye, and completely took in you as you were. "No..." You couldn't fight him as he wrapped his arm around you and pulled you closer to him. You were trapped in his embrace as he cradled your head and held you tightly against him. "That doesn't make sense. I met you! You were alive! You didn't end up like him, not until you fell into the CORE!" Sans' voice echoed angrily around you. As his voice faded in the cavern his shoulders fell as he began to shake.

"I don't understand it either Sans. All I know is that I've seen it. I wasn't supposed to-"

"Don't give up! You were alive! You did live! I don't know what you saw but that isn't what happened! We-" You managed to wedge your arm between yourself and Sans and push him away. You interrupted him as he did with you and he looked down at you, his face full of worry and confusion.

"Sans, I'm not giving up. Gaster came back when his accident happened. I know the two of you don't see eye to eye but please give him a chance to explain himself. I don't know what's going to happen to me. Time isn't going to reset anymore. I don't know what I'll remember, it's going to be years... I don't know what's going to happen to me, Sans. Just," You paused as you caught yourself. You felt the tightness in your throat as you felt yourself wanting to just sob. You still were terrified. You felt Sans gently squeeze your shoulder before his hand found its to yours. He took your hand in his and squeezed it as you found your voice to speak once again. "I just want you to promise me something Sans."

"I hate making promises," Sans whispered but a genuine smile led you to smile yourself.

"After this, I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know where I'll be, or if I'll be here. In the last timeline, it was still over a year before we met. Please promise me, that if you can't find me, that you won't wait for me." Sans didn't respond to you but you gently nudged him and he nodded. For now, you would take it.

Sans didn't say anything for a moment but he guided your hand to the middle of his chest and the familiar deep blue glow from his white soul illuminated between the two of you. You noticed the violet marks left when Gaster took over your body back at Toriel's. You recalled the fight and how everything seemed to fall apart then. Sans must have noticed this but he guided your hand towards his soul. Your soul shard felt warm against the back of your hand as your fingers followed the curve of his soul. You covered the violet marks and Sans couldn't help but chuckle.

"Even now, after everything, you're still not being honest." Sans pointed towards your soul floating not far besides you. "Did you forget?" You couldn't help but blush which only made Sans chuckle harder. "I get that you're trying to be considerate but you realize you're being selfish, by being selfish?"

"What? No! That doesn't even make sense!" You looked down towards his soul and the light it emitted felt warm and gentle. You wanted to remain mad but you knew you couldn't.

"You're soul is betraying you. You truly want me to promise to give up on you?" Sans smiled as your soul dimly flickered.

You cursed it under your breath as you watched your soul react to your emotions. You needed to convince him, no, yourself, that is what you truly wanted. You bit your lip and stared into your soul. You saw the light dim and you knew it was because it hurt to speak.

"You misunderstood. This is what I want." You hesitated at the end and you hoped Sans didn't notice your soul flicker slightly. You bit your lip waiting in silence as Sans sat quietly. You were caught off guard when you saw a crack split open on your soul following by the sudden sharp pain. You inhaled sharply and you felt Sans reach for your soul. The sensation of magic warmed it and eased the pain slightly as you looked back up to him. His eye swirled with the familiar yellow and cyan light. You felt a familiar pull and you knew that your time here was up. "Sans..." You said breathlessly.

At first, it didn't seem like Sans heard you. You lips quivered as you tried to speak but Sans nodded his head and closed his eyes before the sensation of his magic disappeared.

"I know," Sans said softly as he carefully stood up. He refused to let you go as he wrapped his arms tightly around you. "There's nothing I can do for you?"

You nodded as your hand found his. Sans seemed to understand as he pulled away from you and opened his hand to reveal the fragment of your soul. Without any notice, the fragment vanished and you felt the pain ease off your soul slightly as something you felt you had 'lost' was returned. You smiled as Sans gently gripped your hand before pressing his mouth against your forehead. You felt the warmth of his magic against your skin before you felt the pull again.

"Sans." You said quietly and he nodded. You felt his grip loosen on you and you were able to take a step back. Your soul returned to its place within you and he leaned in to whisper something before letting you go.

"Sorry hun, I just can't make that promise."

Before you could say anything he let you go. The last thing you saw before everything went dark around you was his smile.

Sans stood quietly for a moment, staring at the place you just were. He looked at his soul and frowned as the purple marks slowly disappeared. His phone chime began to ring and he answered his phone after a minute.

"SANS! WHY DID YOU DISAPPEAR LIKE THAT?" Papyrus yelled over the phone. Sans knew that Papyrus was a little upset but overall he could genuinely hear the worry in his voice.

"Sorry, bro. You know I don't care for those types of places. It's been a very emotional day." Sans raised his hand and cut a door in front of him. "Yeah Pap, I'm on my way back. Yes, we can sit down and have a proper chat." He took one last look around and let out a soft sigh.

"ARE YOU OKAY SANS? WE COULD ALWAYS DO THIS ANOTHER DAY." There was a slightly disappointing tone in Papyrus' voice and Sans shook his head as he replied. "Yeah, we're free, and we can do whatever you want." Sans took a step through the door.

**~ * ~**

When your vision returned you weren't in the space between time. You heard the distant sound of cars and you felt the dread well up inside you. You wished you had more time but you knew you couldn't keep stalling. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath.

"I can do this..." You spoke softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally finished the chapter today. My motivation has been extremely low lately. I pushed myself through the writer's block, even if it was just 100 words a day but I finally did it. I wanted to try and get it done before April and I guess I did. Again, I don't plan to do any April Fools jokes via here or my blog. If I do post something it will be legit but honestly, I wouldn't count on it. I'm gonna take a bit to plan out how the next chapter will go. I feel I can finally move forward again with the story.
> 
> I'm rambling, I have a few things planned but honestly, I'm looking to finish up Patchwork soon. At this point, I would be surprised if we made it to chapter 60. I'm looking back at the time of writing the first chapter that this fic would be a max of twenty chapters. I sure blew that out of the water and here we are...50 chapters in and well over 200k words. 
> 
> I don't think I'm going to stop writing. I have another fic I've been writing an outline for so that I have a solid plan of where it will go. I'm super excited but I won't start it until Patchwork is done. I'll give you guys a heads up when I know it's the final chapter.
> 
> Either way, thank you all so much for the comments, the kudos, and just returning in general. I appreciate it more than I could ever truly express and you guys have helped me through a lot of rough times.
> 
> Shameful Tumblr link: kioribug.tumblr.com
> 
> As another note, I've been slowly transferring this fic to my Writscrib account under the same name. It's going slow as the blog function really does not like huge text dumps. I don't know if I'm allowed the link to my account here because of the "chips" function on the website but you can find me under my KioriBug name with the same icon as here and tumblr. I'll try to post again soon.


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